Military Life News

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Please Don’t Ask Me That!

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Without fail, at social gatherings or online, it will happen. Someone will ask a question and my face will kind of freeze into an awkward mask. It’s somewhere between a cringe, a fake smile and an eye roll.

I don’t mean to do that. It’s just, well, some questions are awkward and strange.

Please Don’t Ask Me That: The Strangest Questions I’ve Been Asked As a Military Spouse

(Full disclosure: I haven’t personally been asked all of these questions, but I’ve had friends who have been or have heard the rumors about certain questions in my decade as a military spouse.)

Can you make sure your next move will take you to (location near family)?

If we actually got to pick where we moved, I would be picking Hawaii or San Diego. Maybe somewhere in Europe or a tropical island, like Jamaica.

Unfortunately, we just get told where to go. Even when submitting a “wishlist” of next duty stations is possible, the chances of getting your top choice is laughable.

Will you be going to visit your spouse in (location near the front lines)?

I’ve heard that Afghanistan has some lovely hiking in the Hindu Kush. I, unfortunately, do not plan on visiting my combat deployed spouse while he is there. He’s mentioned something about rocket strikes and horrendous dust storms during the 5 static-filled minutes we talked via satellite phone 2 months ago.

(Spouse) is coming home soon! Will you be moving home?

I’m not sure you understand how this life works. It’s a job and we live where the job is. There is not a job in (hometown) for my spouse. So we’ll be staying at our current location until the military sends us somewhere else.

I’ve watched “Army Wives.” When are you going to become friends with the general’s wife?

Any question that tries to relate my military spouse life to the fun, but fictional, romp that is “Army Wives” will get extra eye rolls from me.

No, unless my spouse rises in the ranks to that level, Claudia Joy will never be my BFF. Instead, I’ll be socializing mainly with families in a similar status or rank to my own spouse. If I am invited to a social event with the higher-ups, it will be a more formal occasion. Pleasantries will be exchanged, but I probably won’t become besties with a general’s wife.

Please Don't Ask Me That: The Strangest Questions I've Been Asked As a Military Spouse

What’s the craziest thing that you’ve been asked as a military spouse or service member?

Why can’t I post the specific homecoming date and location or share exactly when and where my spouse will be deployed?

Let me explain it to you in 5 little letters: OPSEC. Operational Security. A handy way to remind yourself of this is “loose lips sink ships.” There are individuals online constantly looking for information about forward-deployed troops.

Posting information online or oversharing in any situation can cause these individuals to target units or locations for attacks. Sharing specific homecoming information can also invite these trolls to interrupt the safe return of troops.

Your best bet? If it doesn’t come from the public affairs officer or shop, don’t post it or share it.

I want to visit my spouse at their unaccompanied OCONUS duty station. Won’t the military pay for me to go there?

No. They won’t. Your spouse or significant other is unaccompanied and has a job to do overseas. They might get some time to head home mid-tour, but otherwise will be mainly at their OCONUS location.

If you want to visit, you’ll need to do it on your own dime. Or learn how to work the Space-A system.

My spouse is late coming home from work. Who should I call?

No one. Call no one. Calling the duty desk or his shop or his senior NCO or reporting officer is not a good idea. Instead, of just being late tonight, your spouse will be late every night for the foreseeable future. And they’ll enjoy endless teasing from everyone else in their shop forever.

Instead, proceed as usual at home and maybe set aside some dinner for reheating later.

You had a baby in Japan! Does he have dual citizenship?

OK, first: that would be super cool! Second: my baby is fully an American without any extra citizenships. The overseas bases have special privileges, which include making any children born there immediate American citizens.

Unfortunately, having a baby OCONUS does mean that registering the birth is a super long and pricier process than in the States.

He’s home (or leaving soon). Planning to get knocked up?

I mean, maybe? Anyone who has tried to conceive kind of knows that it is a crapshoot, at best. Honestly, my desire to have a baby and when and how is really none of  your business.

Your life seems so exciting! Can you give me your best tips so I can marry into the military too?

After I give you some fierce side-eye, I’ll calmly explain that this life was never my first plan. I fell in love with a guy who happened to be in the military. The end. I didn’t chase him down because of his dress blues or go out hunting for a dude with dog tags.

While there are awesome parts to military life, a lot of this is really hard. It’s not all fancy birthday balls and happy homecomings. This life is messy and hard and emotional and stressful.

But good luck with that!

What’s the craziest thing that you’ve been asked as a military spouse or service member? Post your funniest stories in the comments!

What I Love About Being a Stay-At-Home-Dad

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by Eric Gardner, guest contributor

I have had many titles placed upon me in my life, but the one I cherish the most is stay-at-home-dad.

What I Love About Being a Stay-At-Home-Dad

There will always be enormous events in life, however the really important ones happen in between these milestones.

The role of a domestic engineer is a critical position that does not reward you in the traditional sense of a paycheck so some people struggle to define its value. As someone who benefited from a stay-at-home parent and now as I fill the role myself, I understand the profoundly positive impact this position can play in the health of a military family.

My wife and I, like many others, have always placed a very high value on our family. It’s a key consideration for us as we look forward with her military career.

As military families we can’t always stack the deck in our favor with PCS timelines or operational tempos but my wife and I have always tried to do the best we can.

As our family grew with the arrival of our oldest that core consideration of family value was put to the test.

As a dual-military couple we understood the time constraints our careers placed on us. With combat deployments on the rise at the time and both of us assigned to high op-tempo units we were concerned with how that could affect our family. We had seen many couples struggle with this and talked through countless scenarios. In the end the only one that fit us was my departure from the service to stay at home.

I won’t pretend there wasn’t a significant learning curve.

The transition from leading troops in combat to being unable to get my daughter into a diaper without it being a significant emotional event was an adjustment.

You cannot help but be humbled and laugh at life when your child pees through her diaper and onto your dress slacks as you stand in a receiving line for your wife’s change of command. Your once formidable persona as a ground combatant commander is shattered by the undeniable challenges that raising children will bring.

Yet with all difficult tasks come wondrous rewards. I know how fortunate I am to be able to say, I have been present at the birth of both of my children. I have been to every birthday, every holiday meal (because I am making them) and every milestone so far in their lives. Not out of luck but because I am supposed to be.

The role of a stay-at-home parent requires sacrifice, however it also yields immeasurable rewards.

I will admit that my wife got the first word status. I guess it is more fun to say “Momma” than “Daddy” in the beginning. She shares a bond with our girls I will never have – after all she is their mother.

I have been a Girl Scout troop leader and was given the unique chance to add a male perspective to my troop. Our Thinking Day observance was one such instance. As we told the unique histories and cultural information about Italy, my Girl Scouts showed off bedazzled gladiator weapons they made for the event.

I have been a spokesman for school programming, a room parent, hosted coffees and attended the military spouse events in Washington, D.C. As many of the other stay-at-home parents know there is never a shortage of areas to help out in.

Being a stay-at-home dad has allowed me the opportunity to never take myself too seriously. There will always be enormous events in life, however the really important ones happen in between these milestones. The loss of a tooth, learning to ride a bike, doing the first cartwheel, or getting a perfect score on a test.

Life happens in a few blinks of an eye.

Being afforded the opportunity to be with my girls daily lets me see them grow into beautiful ladies and allows me the chance to bolster their confidence so they can chase any dream they have.

Eric Gardner was raised in a military family and lived around the world. Following in his father’s footsteps, he joined the U.S. Army as an Infantry Officer. Since the end of his wartime service he has shifted gears and is now a stay-at-home father. In his role as an active duty Army spouse, he has become an author. As the creator of the XIII Legion Series he has enjoyed great success, and enjoys meeting other entrepreneurial spouses as well as fellow authors. You can see more from Eric Gardner at his Facebook page: www.facebook.com/thirteenthlegion.series, and http://www.facebook.com/XIIILGN or follow him via Twitter @13thLegion.

Community: A Dying Military Tradition That Needs to Make a Serious Comeback

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One of the things I remember most about growing up a military brat was the overwhelming sense of community that surrounded us, no matter where we lived.

If someone went TDY or was lucky enough to take leave to go home, we always made sure to keep an eye on their house or even mow their lawn if necessary.

If I got home from school and couldn’t find my key, there was always a neighbor willing to let me use their phone or hang out until my parents got home.

When I headed out into the world on my own, it was that very same sense of community I found lacking in the civilian world. It is one of the reasons why I eventually decided to join the military. But I have to say, things have changed a lot since I was a military kid.

With the rare exception, gone are the days of the welcome wagon. You know, that group of people, usually military spouses, who stopped by your house after you had a few days to settle in. They’d bring a plate of cookies or a pie and introduce themselves so you would know at least one person on your street. Then they’d share all the insider info you needed, like the best days to shop at the commissary or which primary care doctor to ask for.

Community is the best part of military life. How can we work together to bring it back?

But nowadays, we’ve given up extending a hand to those who might need a little help because it’s too much of a hassle.

We swear off spouses groups because we swear we just can’t handle all the drama.

It seems like we have given up the idea of actually meeting our neighbors and instead just focusing on how many friends we have on Facebook or how many times we get retweeted. And while I wouldn’t give up my social media accounts for anything, I really wish we could, as a community, remember that face-to-face conversations are as important, maybe more so than a text or instant message.

Community: A Dying Military Tradition That Needs to Make a Serious Comeback

Laughter shared over a cup of coffee will always be better than tweeting.

We need to make developing a sense of community and service to each other a priority.

Military unit success often depends on being tuned in, not only to an assigned task, but to the well-being of those around you. It creates a sense of team and comradely that binds a unit together.

It is an idea that I wish permeated beyond the boundaries of the FOB and into the greater military community.

It is all too easy to stay focused on your own lane, keep blinders on and just trudge forward.

But when one member of our community struggles, it creates ripples that impact us all.

A “hi” on Facebook or a follow on Instagram is a great way to break the ice, but when emergencies arise, we need to know that there is someone we can reach out to and lean on.

Over the course of my husband’s career, I can think of only one deployment where anyone from my military community, other than my husband, ever called or stopped by to check on me. And I know I’m not the only one.

There are no regulations that require this kind of community awareness, but we should take it upon ourselves to make sure that no matter the unit or location, no member of our community ever feels isolated or alone.

I say bring back the welcome wagon and the dinner brigade. Go out and meet your neighbors, organize a neighborhood potluck or cul-de-sac barbecue. Start caring about the well-being of those you pass on the street everyday. Be the kind face they need when the challenges of this life get to be too much. Be the resource they need when they don’t know who else to turn to.

Be as engaged and involved as you can be because a hug can never be replaced by a “like.”

Laughter shared over a cup of coffee will always be better than tweeting.

Make time and be open to cultivating relationships with the flesh and blood people in your community.

You may be just the friend they need to get through a tough time. And they end up doing the same for you.

Is the military community dead? Do people ever come out from behind their screens and talk to each other?

How to Survive Black Friday Shopping

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Black Friday shopping can be exciting and terrifying at the same time. The crowds are huge and so is the pressure. You may feel compelled to go shopping even if you don’t need anything in particular.

For me, Black Friday shopping has been more of a tradition than a necessity.

I’ve always enjoyed the fun with my mom. Here are my top 5 shopping strategies we use to have fun while getting great deals.

How to Survive Black Friday Shopping

What tips do you have for shopping on Black Friday?

5 Tips for Shopping on Black Friday

Make a List

Black Friday is not the time to browse. The stores will be overly crowded with less than friendly patrons. People can be very competitive pushing their way through the store to grab what they came for.

Know what you want to get in and out of each store quickly.

In order to do that, you should make a list.

I always start with a list of who I want to buy Christmas gifts for. I shop throughout the year as I notice things a friend or family member would like and just put it away.

On this list I write what I have already bought so that I don’t overbuy for one person or not buy as many things for another.

I write next to their names a few gift ideas I have for each person. Once I have completed the list, I consider what gifts are the most important to buy on Black Friday to save money. I put those on a separate list.

Compare Sale Ads

Now that I have a list of what I’m interested in buying, I start to look through the ads.  

Black Friday is the only time of the year I buy the newspaper.

I look through the ads and cut out the ones I’m interested in as well as any coupons. Then I look online to see the sales listed for stores in my area and compare prices. I also note items that are listed as minimum quantity in the fine print, that way I know if it’s likely I will be able to buy that item or if it’s even worth trying for.

In some cases it isn’t worth fighting the crowds for on Black Friday. Cyber Monday may have the same or similar products for better prices or the same. Previews for Black Friday and Cyber Monday sales are available early on online.

Reading the fine print of the sales is important. I read those and note what the best option is for getting the product I want.

Create a Shopping Strategy

The next step is to create your shopping strategy. Plan the order in which you want to go to the stores.

I also think about what time I should get there to beat the crowd.

You should also consider how you will tackle the crowd to get to what you want.

It is helpful to have a shopping buddy. You can split up to find what you came for. It’s also easier to have someone with you to help carry your purchases. My shopping buddy is my mom. We make a great team.

Fuel Up

Don’t let hunger get in your way on Black Friday. I prefer to go shopping after having a meal so that I am full and not thinking about food. I also bring a snack and water with me.

Keeping fueled up on Black Friday is important. I treat myself to a latte that day. My mom and I have a tradition of going out to eat after our fun shopping trip.

Consider Logistics

Don’t get so carried away with shopping that you don’t have room in your vehicle to get it all back home.

If you know that what you’re going shopping for on Black Friday is a large item such as a TV, make sure you can fit it in your vehicle. This is not the time to drive your compact car if your spouse or shopping buddy has a larger one.

We always take the SUV on Black Friday.

Along the same lines, make sure you know where you are going to store these gifts until Christmas.

Last year I stored a giant teddy bear, which was taller than my 6 foot husband, for a friend. She certainly had nowhere to hide such a large item from her daughter. Make sure you know where you’ll be taking your purchases to once you’re done shopping.

What tips do you have for shopping on Black Friday?

7 Tips from a Military Spouse to Her Younger Self

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I won’t say I’m old, but if there was a miracle pill to knock a couple of years off, I’d be interested.

For all of my fears and frustrations about getting older, I know I have earned every gray hair, every fine line. They tell the story of a life that, while it’s had its ups and downs, I really can’t complain about it too much.

But as I watch my oldest child begin to figure out her place in the world and prepare to move out on her own, it got me thinking about myself at her age.

If given the chance what would I want my younger military spouse self to know? What imparting wisdom could I dish out to help make my future just a bit better?

Here’s what I came up with:

7 Tips from a Military Spouse to Her Younger Self

If given the chance what would I want my younger military spouse self to know?

7 Tips from a Military Spouse to Her Younger Self

Attend College

Less than half of American adults have a college degree. I was part of the majority without one until just a couple of years ago.

While a college degree won’t solve every problem, it can open doors and help with career advancement and employment.

Many military spouses already have a degree or some form of formal training before they become military spouses, which is amazing!  But don’t stop learning. If you’re like me and on the 20+ year plan or you are looking for a second or advanced degree, utilize the resources the military community has to offer.

Programs like MyCAA can help junior enlisted and officer spouses to obtain or continue pursuit of a degree. There are scholarships only available to military dependents and there are a great many programs and universities who offer discounted rates to military spouses.

Get your college degree – it will pay off in so many ways.

Find Your Passion

As you move from place to place, a passion or hobby can make wherever you are stationed feel like home.

A passion gives you something to occupy your time when your spouse is fighting in parts unknown.

A passion gives you something to look forward to when those horrible-terrible-no-good-very-bad days rear their ugly heads.

And your passion just might be the icebreaker you need to make new friends who share a similar interest or who are interested in learning.

Learn to Budget/Schedule/Plan

Mind-numbing waiting at the doctor’s office, empty bank accounts and frantic searches for missing berets or boots at zero dark-thirty can all be avoided with some forethought.

If creating spending plans (and sticking to them) or developing schedules and plans doesn’t come naturally to you, buy a book, or take a class or print off one of the million or so examples on Pinterest.

Get good at being organized. It will pay off a thousand-fold in both your finances and sanity.

Pick Your Friends Wisely

It is all too easy to latch onto an unhealthy friendship when you feel out of place or lonely. But, sometimes those friendships born of low-hanging fruit can do more harm than good.

Put in the effort to build real friendships that last. Don’t write people off because of appearances or even first impressions.

Hint: real friendships don’t equal drama, drama, drama!

Save for a Rainy Day

Before you know it, you’ll be looking at retirement.

Or the need for a new car.

Or the desire to buy a house.

Or the desire to have a baby (or two or three!).

This lesson isn’t really military spouse specific, but it is one I wish I had learned much sooner.

Always, always, always, pay yourself first. Even if it’s just $10 a paycheck, get into the habit of putting money away. Your future self with thank you, trust me.

Buy Smart and Don’t Buy on Credit

Hand in hand with saving, be smart about your money. If you can at all avoid it, skip using credit cards for anything other than emergencies.

That $500 want-it-now purchase suddenly turns into a $1,000 burden when you add in all the interest.

Be patient and save until you can afford to pay cash for what you need.

At the same time, don’t deprive yourself of things. Go back to the lesson about budgeting and figure out a way to be smart about what you buy.

Enjoy and Experience

Don’t let the experience of being a military spouse pass you by without taking time to enjoy it.

While the challenges are difficult and never-ending, the benefits and experiences this life has to offer are second to none. See the world, taste the food, take pictures. Meet people, try new things, explore.

Learn to laugh at mistakes, empathize with your neighbor and trust that your presence in every place and moment has a purpose and a reason.

What advice would you give to your younger self? Share it in the comment section.

Military Families Have a False Sense of Security Living On Base

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Living on base brings a sense of security. Families feel safer knowing that there are gate guards and military police. All the people on base must be honest and decent since they’re part of the military, right? Not necessarily.

You never know what a person is capable of and many military families leave themselves open to being taken advantage of because they have their defenses down.

Military Families Have a False Sense of Security Living On Base

Statistics released from the Pentagon show that 6,172 cases of sexual assault were reported in last year alone.

Take for example, a Marine Corps colonel that was recently convicted in a court-martial of sexually abusing a child. He was a highly decorated service member with over 30 years in the military. He had been on 11 deployments. He was sentenced to 5 and a half years in confinement.

The colonel was living on base at the time. How would you feel if he was your neighbor? You probably wouldn’t feel as safe living on base as you did before this.

It’s as if military families are blind to things such as sexual abuse and sexual assault while living on base.

If this is the case, then you might be surprised to know that sexual assault reports in U.S. military have reached record highs recently.

Statistics released from the Pentagon show that 6,172 cases of sexual assault were reported in last year alone. That’s up from the 6,082 reported in 2015. The number of sexual assaults reported have gone up dramatically from 2012 when 3,604 cases were reported. Is living on base starting to sound less safe?

You’ve felt safe leaving your door unlocked. You might let your kids walk to school, the movie theater, the park or to a friend’s house on base.

They were unsupervised, but because you are living on base, you feel like it is safe for them to do so.

You might not have let them do such things if you lived out in town.

Even if there wasn’t the threat of danger from service members or their family members, there are others on base that you might not think twice about.

Most military bases utilize contractors for multiple services. Think about those that take care of maintenance and lawn care. Your children might walk right past these people daily.

Do you ever stop to wonder what they are thinking? Are they watching your children? Are they talking to them? Would your children know not to go with them anywhere?

Perhaps seeing them so often makes them feel safe around them and then wouldn’t have their guard up. They could easily be taken advantage of in this case.

Living on base has many perks, but you still have to stay vigilant.

Take some time and talk to your family. Make sure that they are aware of their environment. Don’t let living on base make you or your family easy victims. Teach your children to be polite and friendly, but not to be naive.

You can’t guarantee that you can prevent something from happening, but you can try. Have a family discussion about safety.

Give your kids examples of what to look out for. They might not be faced with the usual ruse of a stranger offering candy or asking for help finding a lost dog. Abusers have become very clever in drawing out unsuspecting people.

While protecting your children is extremely important, you need to protect yourself as well. There is a recent report from an anonymous survey that showed that 14,900 service members were sexually assaulted in 2016 alone. This includes every type of sexual abuse, from groping to rape. While this number sounds staggering, it is actually down from the 20,300 people that said they were sexually assaulted in 2014. Sadly, 58 percent of those that reported it faced reprisals and even retaliation if they reported it.

Sexual assault is not necessarily caused by strangers. It may happen in the workplace, by superiors or by any other service member.

It could also happen in the home. Wives can be sexually assaulted by their spouse. According to a report, 78 percent of sexual abuse allegations stem from people the victim knew.

Don’t suffer in silence.

If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and know the name of the assailant, they should be turned in. You aren’t necessarily safe living on base, as they may live there too.

Do you think that military families have a false sense of security while living on base?

Should Military Kids Understand Military Rank?

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Her question made me cringe.

My daughters and I were delivering dinner to my husband at his office late one Thursday night when they asked the question that made me cringe:

“Why isn’t Daddy’s photo in the hallway?”

We’re a Navy family so when we deliver food to my husband, we stop by the quarterdeck to check in. Near the quarterdeck desk are the official photos of the battalion commander, executive officer and command master chief.

You know, the people in charge.

The people with high rank.

My husband wasn’t one of those people.

His official Navy photo isn’t framed with a shiny nameplate near the entrance.

That’s fine with us and honestly I didn’t think that our children even noticed salutes, designated parking spots and patches on a uniform.

But they are aware. They do notice. They ask questions. They are curious about the military and that makes them curious about military rank since it’s a part of their father’s job.

Should Military Kids Understand Military Rank?

Military kids, especially young children, do not need to understand military rank.

As a military spouse, I understand the basics of military rank. Basically I know enough to not embarrass myself during introductions at a Navy birthday ball.

But what about my children? Should they know the difference between officers and enlisted service members? Should they understand the different ranks and who reports to whom?

Should military kids understand military rank?

Nope.

I can’t think of a reason why military kids, especially young children, would have a need to understand military rank. I can’t think of a single situation where it would be relevant to their lives.

Now I’m not saying you won’t overhear military kids trying to “pull rank” on each other at the on-base playground.

I occasionally will hear a boy tell another one that “My husband is a gunny so you can’t tell me that” or a teenager say “my dad is really important. His name is in front of our house.”

These offhanded comments make me roll my eyes.

It’s a case of military kids wearing their service member’s rank. We know how inappropriate that is for military spouses so the same guidelines apply to our little ones. And I can’t help but wonder if the child is saying these rank-wearing comments because they’ve heard a parent talk in a similar tone at home.

Here are 3 things military kids need to understand about service members of all ranks.

Be respectful. As a parent, I teach my children to be respectful to all adults. This includes the service members in my neighborhood, the elderly veteran in line at the commissary and their often forgotten bus driver.

I want them to say “yes sir” and “no sir.” These polite habits aren’t only for a select few. Respect is equally given to all adults, regardless of their military rank.

Be appreciative. I hope that one day my children will appreciate the sacrifices of our veterans. No one job is more important than any other job in the Armed Forces. Enlisted? Officer? Special Forces? National Guard? Every person who volunteered to serve in our military deserves to be appreciated for their dedication.

Be independent. Back to my point that military kids don’t wear rank, we need to encourage them to be friends with whomever they want to be friends with. Their parents’ ranks are not a factor in finding friendship.

As a military child, it’s hard enough making new friends at a new school. Let’s not divide this community by rank or military branch.

Now that you know my military rank guidelines for interaction with service members, can you guess how I answered my daughter’s question about the framed photos at the quarterdeck?

I told her plainly that her father doesn’t have one of those 3 jobs. He has a different job at the battalion. Only 3 sailors have their photos hanging there and it’s because they have one of those 3 positions.

I didn’t explain rank structure.

And you know what?

That answer was more than satisfactory for her 3-year-old brain.

Do you think military kids should understand military rank? What do you think when you overhear them discussing rank structure at the playground?

Are You Worried About DeCA Collecting Your Information?

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A multitude of companies gather data on you daily, so would it concern you if DeCA collected and sold your information as well?

Whether you realize it or not, your personal information is taken constantly. Rewards cards at businesses collect information on your shopping habits so that they can better adjust their marketing to products you would be interested in. The majority of information obtained on individuals is sold to third party companies for market research. DeCA is one such company.

Under the Freedom of Information Act (FOIA), Military.com requested the information DeCA collects on military patrons’ use of the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAPS) and special supplemental nutrition program for women, infants and children (WIC) at commissaries. This request was denied by DeCA’s lawyers.

Specific information of shoppers was not requested. The request was simply for demographics of SNAPS and WIC users that shop at commissaries.

Lawyers however claimed that they didn’t have to share that information because of a law that states if information is sold to a third party then FOIA does not apply. The 2 companies they are referring to are Nielsen Holdings Plc and IRi.

Lawyers from DeCA were quick to say such information is not collected on shoppers anyway. They say that only product movement and sales information is collected when military IDs are scanned at the register. DeCA says they do not sell patrons’ personal information. They only collect demographic information. WIC and SNAP use therefore is not collected.

DeCA is giving contradictory information. They say they don’t collect personal information, only demographic information. The information they collect when military ID cards are scanned at the checkout include information from DEERS such as: ID number, rank, military status, branch, age, household size and the ZIP code of the service member’s home as well as their duty station. All of this is stated on a commissary fact sheet. This sounds pretty personal, especially recording your ID number.

What frustrates some people is that there is no way to opt out of sharing this information when you shop at the commissary.

Transparency is also a concern. Why is DeCA trying to prevent sharing this information? Is it because they actually do collect personal information?

If they do not collect this information, how are they reporting the military use of SNAP and WIC? The Department of Agriculture publishes data about where food stamp benefits are used each year. Commissary usage is included in that information.

In 2014 more than $84 million of SNAP benefits were spent at military commissaries according to a report filed by the Department of Agriculture. They estimated that between 1% and 2% of active duty used food stamps in 2012, the most recent data.

In the same year, the USDA estimated that more than 1.5 million veterans used SNAP. That’s about 7% of veterans. If DeCA doesn’t collect information on SNAP use, then how does the USDA have this information?

Does it bother you that DeCA collects your information, whether personal or simply demographic?

Remember you cannot opt out of having your military ID card scanned at the commissary.

Does it bother you more so that DeCA isn’t being transparent with providing this information to the public or that you cannot opt out of sharing it? We’d love to hear your thoughts on the matter.

How do you feel about this complicated situation with DeCA?

What the New GI Bill Means for Military Families

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Brace yourselves. Changes are coming to the GI Bill as we know it.

President Donald Trump signed the Forever GI Bill into law in August 2017. With this new bill, changes are in the works, including transferring benefits, housing allowances and the deadline to access GI Bill funds.

What the New GI Bill Means for Military Families

Time Limit

Under the Post-9/11 GI Bill, beneficiaries had 15 years to use their earned education benefits. With the new GI Bill, there is no time limit to complete a degree, license or education program.

This is arguably the most important change to the bill since it extends the time that beneficiaries have to complete their education.

It allows for unexpected life events or changes along the way.

This is limited to veterans, troops and designated dependents who became eligible on or after January 1, 2013.

Housing Allowance

Under the current GI Bill, non-active duty students rate the Overseas Housing Allowance (OHA) for an E-5 with dependents based on the location of their school. Additionally, students receive a portion of the total allowance based on how many credits they are taking. In order to qualify, students must be enrolled at greater than half-time.

Starting Jan. 1, 2018, the housing allowance will be calculated using the reduced BAH schedule.

Previously, the GI Bill has been exempted from the yearly 1% BAH reduction started in 2015 and ending in 2020. Students using the GI Bill before January 1, 2018, will continue to receive their current housing allowance rates.

Additionally, the location used to calculate housing allowances will be tied to the location where students physically attend classes. This could impact students who attend a satellite campus in a location with a lower BAH rate. This change goes into effect on Aug. 1, 2018. Students enrolled before this date will follow the current rules.

Housing for members of the reserve will be prorated by quarter, semester or term starting on Aug. 1, 2018.

Expanded Access

Currently, eligibility for GI Bill benefits is calculated based on time in service or discharge due to service-related injury. Under the Forever GI Bill, all Purple Heart recipients will be rated at the 100% funding level or with 100% of their tuition and fees of in-state tuition paid for.

Additionally, certain members of the Reserve will be eligible for benefits under certain conditions. If Reserve troops deployed to support a combatant command or within their state in response to a natural disaster, they may now be able to access GI Bill benefits. This includes Reservists who deployed in these capacities after 2009.

Reservists who used the Reserve Education Assistance Program (REAP) will now be able to access the GI Bill under certain circumstances. Students who qualified before Nov. 25, 2015, but whose benefits have expired may choose to have that time in service credited toward the Post-9/11 GI Bill. This change applies to coursework started after Aug. 1, 2018.

Previously, students could be considered eligible for 40% of total GI Bill benefits (40% of in-state public college tuition and fees paid for) based on time in service. This category has now been eliminated.

Instead, the 60% level has been expanded to include more veterans. The minimum benefits level is now set at 50%, meaning that up to 50% of tuition and fees at an in-state public college would be paid by the VA.

Overall, more veterans and designated beneficiaries will be able to access higher education or career training with increased funding possible.

Transferring Benefits

Veterans can designate a dependent to receive GI Bill benefits. In the past, if that person passed away, the benefits disappeared.

Now, veterans are able to select another eligible dependent should their original designee die. Dependents who have received benefits are also able to pass on the GI Bill to another designee. This is only able to happen after the veteran who earned the benefits has passed away.

This now allows GI Bill benefits to continue on beyond the veteran or original designee in the event of death. This could prevent these valuable benefits from going unused.

Extra Protection

If your college closes before you earn a degree, the GI Bill now offers protections. Time spent at a college that has closed can now be partially or fully reinstated.

Students can also potentially earn GI Bill time back for courses that were not approved or for courses in which no credit was earned.

This is retroactive to programs, courses and colleges that were discontinued after Aug. 1, 2015. The change takes effect 90 days after the bill was signed.

Programs and Licenses

Students may begin using their benefits at accredited area career and technical schools that provide post-secondary education and/or vocational skills. This allows students to pursue a career path outside of traditional college level education.

Veterans at the 100% benefits level, with at least 60 credit hours of work and who will be reaching the end of their benefits before they complete an eligible degree in science, math, engineering, medicine or certain teacher training programs can apply for an extension.

This is a one-time 9-month benefit bonus. It cannot be transferred or be used in conjunction with the Yellow Ribbon Program. There is a $30,000 cap. This change begins on Aug. 1, 2019.

Entitlement charges for professional licensing and certification exams will be prorated based on the actual amount charged for the test.

Additional Benefits

Spouses and dependents who qualify for the Fry Scholarship may now also access the Yellow Ribbon Scholarship as well. This opens up new funding possibilities to supplement the GI Bill at private colleges or out-of-state schools. Purple Heart recipients will also be qualified for Yellow Ribbon Scholarships. These changes take effect on Aug. 1, 2018.

Beginning on Aug. 1, 2022, active duty troops using the GI Bill will be able to access the Yellow Ribbon Program. This will expand their ability to complete coursework at a larger number of institutes of higher learning while still serving their country.

Students who were eligible under the Survivors’ and Dependents’ Educational Assistance program now have 36 months of benefits instead of 45 months. This change applies to students who enroll after Aug. 1, 2018.

This same change increases the amount payable per month to $1,224 for full-time students, $967 for students enrolled at three-quarter time and $710 for half time enrollment. This increase is effective Oct. 1, 2018.

Will these changes to the GI Bill impact your family? Share your thoughts in the comments.

Do Special Privileges for the Military Magnify the Civilian-Military Divide?

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Do a quick online search for military discount or military offer and thousands and thousands of webpages come up.

And it’s not just restaurants or retails stores, car rentals, apartment rentals, colleges and car dealerships all offer special pricing and discounts for active duty service members, veterans, National Guard and military spouses.

Add in our medical coverage, housing pay, debt relief, and educational and retirement benefits, and it’s not hard to see why some feel that service members and their families receive too many special privileges and considerations.

Do Special Privileges for the Military Magnify the Civilian-Military Divide?

Despite the stereotypes, members of the military community aren’t cheapskates. We’re not sitting at home hoarding all the savings we get from military discounts.

But even though we know more than anyone that these benefits and privileges are earned by our service members, it can be disheartening when we find ourselves in the crosshairs of public opinion.

Often when these arguments are raised, we feel like we are standing on the other side of some kind of cultural divide.

Can the average American truly appreciate our way of life?

Can they understand why these special provisions are available for military families?

At the same time, we must consider our own motivations. Are we asking for too much?

The Difference Between Benefits and Privileges

To those who think we are, as a community, overpaid and over-privileged, a quick review of the difference between benefits and privileges is in order.

The housing, educational, retirement and medical benefits are just that – benefits.

Just like any other job, these benefits are part of the total compensation package offered by an employer to an employee upon the acceptance of a position.

Yes, these benefits are funded by federal taxes, a system our community also pays into, but any American who chooses to apply and accept a position in the military is entitled to receive them.

These things are not privileges, they are earned compensation.

That being said, it is important to understand that there is a limit to these benefits. I’ve heard military spouses complain about the military not paying for an airline ticket home for a funeral or about how school loan debt for dependents should be forgiven.

While arguments could be made for additional benefits in both cases, the truth is, the military isn’t a I-want-it-so-give-it-to-me free for all. We cannot simply expect that our every need and want be subsidized by the American taxpayer.

The U.S. military is not a welfare state. We must be careful about considering ourselves to be a community more deserving than others. We are no more American than our civilian neighbors.

Benefits earned should be benefits received. Everything else is on us to manage.

All Those Military Discounts

While most businesses offering a military discount do so as a way to give back and say thank you, let’s not lose sight of the fact that it is still a marketing technique used to attract customers.

The U.S. military community is fairly unique as far as our spending habits are concerned. Job security offers our community of consumers the ability to spend more than their civilian counterparts in many areas. Offering a discount attracts customers from the million plus strong military community.

It’s no different than offering a discount to those who have student ID or are over 55 years old.

And when you consider that a lot of military folks I know tend to spend more when there is a military discount offered or leave bigger tips, any military discount is funneled right back into the economy.

Despite the stereotypes, members of the military community aren’t cheapskates. We’re not sitting at home hoarding all the savings we get from military discounts.

A Community Apart?

We are a community unlike any other in that we exist because our nation demands a strong and professional military. And while our role as citizens is unique, we must not lose sight of the fact that we are part of much larger whole and should continue to serve our country with grace and humility.

We must not close ranks, but instead remain open and engaged in the conversation about the future of this country, including its military.

After all, while long and distinguished, even a career of service in the military must come to an end. And we will need to cross that cultural divide and rely on the strength and acceptance of our civilian communities to help us make that transition.

Do you think that military discounts add to the cultural divide between the military community and civilians? Share your opinion in the comments section.