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How to Help Your Service Member, Friends Suffering with PTSD

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PTSD or post-traumatic stress disorder is a mental health problem that we as military spouses, family members and veterans face all too often. It could be a loved one, a friend or a colleague that suffers from PTSD.

Many people don’t understand PTSD and they don’t know how to help their service member or friend who is suffering from it. That’s why it’s important to make yourself familiar with this disorder. The more you learn about it, the more you will understand what they are going through and thus the better you’ll be able to help them.

How to Help Your Service Member, Friends Suffering with PTSD

Many service members are afraid of the stigma that comes with PTSD but it can happen to anyone and it is not a sign of weakness.

I know quite a few friends that suffer from PTSD. You probably do too and you might not even know it.

PTSD is a mental health problem that anyone can have following a life-threatening event. This could include experiencing or seeing a traumatic event such as sexual assault, a car accident, a natural disaster or more prominently for military service members, combat.

Some people are very good at hiding how they feel. They don’t want to talk about it. They pull away from friends and family and become isolated. They may not enjoy things that they use to. They may become angry easily or when a trigger occurs that reminds them of the traumatic experience.

As a friend or family member, you can help them understand PTSD and get help for the mental health disorder. Many service members are afraid of the stigma that comes with PTSD but it can happen to anyone and it is not a sign of weakness. The statistics are staggering.

  • 7 to 8 out of every 100 people will develop PTSD in their lifetime
  • 8 million adults suffer from PTSD in a given year
  • Roughly 10 out of 100 women will have PTSD at some point whereas 4 out of every 100 men will experience it

One thing that can make PTSD more likely is stress. Support from friends and family members can reduce the chances of someone developing PTSD.

There are four types of PTSD symptoms that you should be on the lookout for if you think that a loved one might be suffering from PTSD. Many relive the event, in which case you might notice they have nightmares or flashbacks of the event. They may avoid situations that make them recall the experience. They may act amped-up or they might become negative in how they feel toward people or events. If you feel that someone you know is showing these signs, be prepared to help them.

Here are a few ways that you can help them cope with PTSD:

  • Read about PTSD so that you will understand what they are going through.
  • Offer a shoulder to cry on and listen to what they have to say. Do not interrupt them or offer a solution to their problem. Do not blame them or use accusing words. Just listen and if they don’t want to talk, tell them that is ok too.
  • Suggest seeking help from a doctor and offer to go with them. There are two ways to treat PTSD: talking to a counselor or medication.
  • Plan activities to do with friends or family. Incorporate exercise into a daily routine. Having a purpose and close friends and family that support them can be beneficial.

If you suffer from PTSD, know that you do not have to face it alone. There are people that love you and want to help you. If you don’t want to talk to them, there are ways to seek out help.

  • Call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255
  • Contact the Veterans Crisis Line: 1-800-273-8255, press 1 (text 838255) or use the Confidential Veterans Chat to speak with a counselor

What are your suggestions for helping a friend or spouse suffering with PTSD?

The Stigma of Mental Health and the Military Spouse

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Every little thing, from the endless crying of the baby to one dish being out of place, caused me to fly into a rage. When I wasn’t angry, I was deeply sad and sobbing. The walls felt like they were closing in and my chest felt tight. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t see a way out of the deep hole of depression.

It felt like I just couldn’t admit I was weak or that I needed help. I’d heard all of those saying about military spouses and strength. I was supposed to be the backbone of our family, keeping it all together when everything was falling apart.

Have you ever felt overwhelmed, out of sorts or just generally not yourself mentally and emotionally?

You are not alone. Approximately 30% of military spouses suffer from mental illness.

After I had my first child, I went deep into the postpartum depression rabbit hole. I didn’t want to upset the delicate balance of our lives, so I delayed seeking help until it was so severe I couldn’t function in my daily life.

Instead of talking about it, I drank much more than I should have. I used exercise to relieve stress obsessively. My weight and running times became unhealthy fixations. Most of all, I’m only just now, years later, realizing just how bad it was and how far I had gone. I’m so thankful I was able to claw my way out.

While I’m mostly “better” I will always struggle with mental health and I know that. I’m anxious about nonsense things or blow trivial matters out of proportion. Jumping to the worst possible scenario is pretty common for me in most challenging situations. I am painfully aware of what I say and how it could come across. There is a constant worry about how I might be perceived.

There is a stigma for military spouses struggling with mental health.

“How can that be? You’re literally telling the whole entire world about your struggles,” you might ask. You wouldn’t be wrong either.

But writing is different than in-person sharing. I’m hidden behind a screen and these words are typed not spoken.

The Stigma of Mental Health and the Military Spouse

Do you think there is a stigma around mental health struggles as a military spouse?

Military spouses who struggle with mental health often remain hidden. After all, we must be the backbone, the support system, for our whole family. We are the constant for our children who are often missing their other parent. Military spouses must handle everything that comes their way, mostly far from home and with an often-rotating support network of friends.

There is no fallback plan, no option for retreat. So most of us slog onward, dealing with our emotional battles in any way we can.

We self-medicate with alcohol and drugs. According to a recent study, almost 70% of military spouses had an alcoholic drink during a given month. Over 30% of those who drank were binge drinking. Others were smoking pot or using illegal drugs. Of course, some of these substances could have been used recreationally. But many military spouses drown their sorrows with a few glasses of wine or several beers every night.

You don’t want to talk about it or ask for help. There could be the perception of weakness or of taking needed resources away from deployable troops. Asking for help could draw unwanted attention or scrutiny to yourself, it could cause your service member to lose focus on the mission. Above all, you are supposed to be able to handle this.

There is no shame in asking for help.

I know this now. There are places to seek help readily available through “official” channels as well as completely confidential outlets.

A great place to start is with your chaplain or the Military Family Life Counselor (MFLC) assigned to your duty station or unit. Chaplains serve all members of the military community. There are religious leaders from all sects and faith backgrounds, Christian and non-Christian alike. If you are religious, starting here could be a positive first step.

MFLCs are available to all military service members and their dependents. There are MFLCs assigned to all bases, with many locations hosting multiple counselors. Contact your unit FRO to connect with your local MFLC. Your sessions are off the books completely. Literally, no notes can or will be taken at any time. There is no record of what you discuss or even that you have been counseled. Best of all, many MFLCs keep flexible hours and can meet you both on and off base.

Another option is to seek counseling services through Military OneSource. Simply call the hotline and ask to speak to a representative about mental health counseling. There are a few criteria in place in order to receive services, but they try their best to meet your needs.

I used this service in 2014 and 2015 for postpartum depression. I was able to see a therapist just a few blocks from my home during evening hours, which made it super convenient for me. Best of all, this was 100% cost-free.

For those who need something other than talk therapy, please seek help from a medical professional. If you use Tricare, your PCM can provide at least an initial diagnosis and treatment plan. Your doctor might refer you to a specialist or other medical professional to seek further treatment for your specific mental health concerns.

I also used this route. My PCM was quickly able to diagnose me with postpartum depression and prescribed me anti-depressants to help regulate my emotions.

I know now that true strength comes from seeking help when needed, and offering help to those in need. No matter who you see first, if you are suffering from mental illness, prolonged sadness, thoughts of self-harm or other mental health concerns, please seek help right away. There is no shame in asking for help.

Do you think there is a stigma around mental health struggles as a military spouse? Share your thoughts in the comments.

How I Prepare for His Deployment

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My husband and I have had our fair share of deployments, extended TDYs and special duty assignments. And while it has gotten easier to deal with the added stress that comes from having to say goodbye, it is never truly easy.

Preparing is often difficult, because it means you have to come to terms with the fact that your loved one will be headed into harm’s way.

For me, there are 4 broad areas of preparation necessary before any deployment: financial, physical, emotional and mental.

How I Prepare for His Deployment

Financial Preparation

Even if you share bill-paying responsibilities, make a point to sit down and go over your finances. This includes all of your bills, investments, credit cards and bank accounts. Make sure you know how to access the accounts and have contact information for each of them.

Consider getting a limited power of attorney. It can be exceptionally frustrating to be unable to upgrade a cell phone plan or resolve a billing discrepancy because your spouse’s name is the only one on the account. Plus, should you lose your military dependent ID card or need to make any changes to DEERS, a power of attorney means you can take care of it.

How I Prepare for His Deployment

What are your deployment preparation tips? Anything that you must do before your service member ships out?

While you are making preparations, make sure you go over both your and your spouse’s wills. It is touchy subject for some, but it is a necessary evil. If you don’t have a will, check with your local legal office for assistance.

Physical Preparation

In the same way that your spouse must make sure they are physically able to deploy, being left behind to manage everything on the homefront also requires you to be healthy and capable.

Before your service member leaves, schedule your annual doctor and dentist appointments. Make sure your prescriptions are filled and up-to-date.

Make taking care of yourself easier while you are dealing with the stress of a deployment.

Physical preparation also takes your surroundings into account. If your spouse always mows the lawn, for example, consider hiring a lawn service or learn how to use the equipment properly if you don’t know how to do it yourself. Again, the idea is to try to make it as easy as possible for you to juggle everything while your spouse is away.

Deployments are a great time to focus on your physical fitness. Exercise can prove to be a great distraction and physical activity has been proven to help improve mood and combat depression.

Emotional Preparation

It’s important to prepare yourself emotionally for the time apart and the added strain of knowing your spouse is in harm’s way. Any emotional stress you’re feeling is often exacerbated by the fact that you don’t want to burden your spouse during phone calls and Skype sessions.

We can never fully prepare for how we are going to handle things emotionally. All we can do is try to put some plans in place to helps us cope when things get tough.

Try to get a good support system in place with a list of folks and phone numbers you can call if you need help. Sometimes just having a fellow military spouse to talk to can make all the difference in the world.

If you need to go home to family or have someone come and stay with you, then do it. There are no shiny medals given for being an emotional martyr, so don’t feel like you have to go it alone.

Try not to isolate yourself. Deployments rarely happen to just one service member in a unit at a time, so consider joining the FRG or family support group. The military has been on a cycle of deployment for the last two decades and there are many programs and resources out there. Make sure you reach out to the chaplain or family support services before your service member deploys so you know what’s available.

Mental Preparation

Hand in hand with dealing with the emotional impact, your mental health is vital to a successful deployment.

One of the best techniques I have found is to make plans to keep myself busy. Taking a class, learning a new skill, trying a new hobby, or even starting a business have all become a focus for my attention while my spouse was deployed.

Left to wander a lonely and bored mind will never been an ally.

Plan ways to keep yourself distracted during the deployment. It’s a great time to focus on yourself a little more than usual and work on any of those self-improvement/self-growth goals you’ve been thinking about.

How do you prepare for your service member’s deployment?

Mental Health Resources for Military Spouses

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Military life can be fun and exciting as you explore the world. Moving from place to place gives you the opportunity to have new adventures, try new things, make new friends and learn new things.

Military life also can be overwhelming, lonely, difficult and hard to handle. Sometimes it can be a little too much.

Mental Health Resources for Military Spouses

There are many mental health resources available to military spouses. You don’t need to suffer in silence. Help is only a phone call away.

Making friends and forming deep connections with fellow military spouses can truly be life saving. They can help you through tough times and help turn the tides sometimes.

Everything can’t always be fixed with a friend though.

Maybe you don’t want to admit to anyone how you are really feeling or maybe they don’t understand. No matter the reason, if you feel like you need someone to talk to, there are mental health resources available for military spouses.

You aren’t alone. Help is only a phone call away.

Here is a list of available mental health resources for military spouses:

National Military Family Association

There are many options to choose from when you are ready to take that step. The National Military Family Association is a wonderful organization founded by military spouses that advocates for military families. There are mental health resources listed on their site to guide you to the proper avenue that will get you the care you need. This can range from short-term counseling and assistance to long-term or medical mental health assistance.

Non-medical help can be sought out from family support centers at your installation, through the office of the chaplain, at military hospitals and clinics as well as through military family life consultants.

Military OneSource

Military OneSource offers non-medical counseling sessions as well. Through Military OneSource, you are entitled to 12 free sessions. These sessions can be in person, over the phone or online. To find out more and to make an appointment call 1-800-342-9647.

Tricare

Long-term medical and mental health resources are available through Tricare. You can visit a mental health care provider at a military hospital or clinic or utilize the Tricare network for authorized civilian mental health resources. The cost associated with these services will depend on the type of policy you have with Tricare, Prime or Standard.

Military spouses can receive up to 8 outpatient mental health care visits without needing a referral. If follow-up appointments are needed, you will be required to get a referral from your provider. Visit Tricare’s website to learn more.

There is unfortunately a stigma that comes with mental health in this country. Sadly, many people are afraid to seek help because they fear there may be consequences once it’s known that mental health resources are needed.

In the military community, there is the fear that it will have an impact on promotions and duty assignments. If you feel like something isn’t right, like you just aren’t yourself, don’t keep it bottled up for fear of repercussions.

You don’t have to go through official channels, like Tricare, initially if that’s what’s holding you back on seeking help. There are many anonymous platforms you can use for mental health resources.

Military OneSource Confidential Help

Free confidential consultations and services are offered. If you want to talk to someone they offer in person, over the phone, online and secure video chat. They can help with emotional and interpersonal difficulties to include adjusting to military life, surviving deployments, everyday stress, parenting challenges and working though loss. The counselor will not inform anyone, including the command and your spouse, of your consultation.

DSTRESS LINE

The Marine Corps DSTRESS Line is available 24/7 and is an anonymous phone and chat counseling service available to veteran Marines, attached sailors and family members. It is manned by veteran Marines, Marine Corps spouses and licensed behavioral health clinical counselors that have Marine Corps specific training. The phone number is 1-877-476-7734.

National Guard Joint Services Support

The National Guard Psychological Health Program has directors of psychological health in every state, territory and online to help family members get the help they need. They have programs to build family resiliency, educational support for complete wellness and access to immediate help. They also have an online library where you can research mental health.

Family Advocacy Program

This mental health resource is for service members and their families. They help with issues stemming from deployment and life stressors that cause problems with family function, domestic violence and child abuse. Classes, workshops, counseling and new parent support programs are all available.

There are many options available to military spouses when mental health resources are needed. The first step is to admit to yourself that you need help and that that is OK. You can start by talking to a friend, a family member, a command spouse liaison or your doctor. If they can’t provide the support you need, take the next step and seek professional help through mental health resources such as these listed above.

Did we miss any mental health resources for military spouses that you recommend? Tell us in the comments section.

10 Reasons MilSpouses Don’t Ask for Help

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Asking for help is never easy and for some reason we military spouses have trouble with doing so. Especially when we really need the help. We try to do everything ourselves and don’t think we should stop and ask anyone for anything.

10 Reasons Why Military Spouses Don’t Ask for Help

Why do you think that military spouses are reluctant to ask for help or seek counseling?

Here are 10 reasons why military spouses might not ask for help (even when they need it):

  1. We don’t want to bother anyone. As military spouses, we don’t want to have to bother anyone with our troubles. We might assume that we don’t have a right to do so. We might think that if we do the person we ask for help will think less of us.
  2. We think we got this. Military spouses try to stay strong. We think we can do everything ourselves. We don’t want to have to admit that we need extra help.
  3. We don’t know where to go for help. We might want help but we are unsure of where to go to get the help that we need. We are not sure who to call or who to contact in order to find that help.
  4. We think we have to pay for help. If you are not sure about what your options are, some military spouses might assume that you have to pay to go see a counselor. If you have Tricare, they will pay for some if not all of your counseling. You should check and see what is available and what you have access to. There are other free programs out there as well.
  5. We think our need is temporary so we just want to get through it. When military spouses are going through a difficult situation, it can be easy to think that the situation will go away soon. That they really don’t need to ask for help. The problem with this is that sometimes the issues don’t just go away and we really should be looking for someone to help us through them.
  6. We worry about others finding out. Military spouses worry that others will find out if they had to get help for what they are going through. They might fear that others will make fun of them or look down on them.
  7. We don’t want to come across as weak. We don’t want to come across as weak to our spouses as well as others in our community. We worry that if they find out we needed help, they would no longer think we are strong. We have this idea in our heads about how military spouses are supposed to act and we feel like seeking help would mean we have failed to live up to that.
  8. We don’t think we have time. Life is busy and scheduling a counseling appointment might not be easy to do. Some military spouses might want to go and get help but feel like they just have too much going on to add that appointment to their schedules.
  9. We are not sure it will help. Deep down we might be worried that asking for help won’t even do what we need it to do. That we will be wasting our time. 
  10. We think we will look bad to our spouse’s command. This is a fear that some military spouses might have. That they will look bad to their spouse’s command. That they will be known as that wife or that husband and that seeking help will cause harm to their service member’s career.

The truth is, there are a lot of ways for military spouses to find the help that they need. Programs like FOCUS which stands for Families OverComing Under Stress can help spouses find the help that they need to get through their difficult situations. FOCUS offers resiliency training to help children and adults process and grow from their stressful situations.

There are also options to meet with a chaplin, Military & Family Life Counseling (MFLC) Program or be seen by a professional counselor through Tricare or MilitaryOneSource.

During my last deployment, I ended up seeing a counselor because I couldn’t handle what I was having to deal with. Taking the steps to make this happen was difficult but I was able to get the help I needed and learn more about how to handle my feelings as I got through the deployment. I was very glad that I did seek the help even though it was hard to do so.

If you feel like you need extra help, don’t be afraid to ask for what you need. You will be glad that you did as you will be able to learn and grow as well as figuring out the tools you need to get through military life challenges.

Now it’s your turn: Why do you think that military spouses are reluctant to ask for help or seek counseling?

Resources for New Mothers Struggling with Postpartum Depression

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You’re having a baby. Congratulations! What a wonderful, exciting and terrifying time. Let’s add a PCS in there to help those already fluctuating hormones. If this is you, take a deep breath and find comfort that you are not the first milspouse to be expecting, moving and seeing your spouse off all at the same time. You are not alone.

Resources for New Mothers Struggling with Postpartum Depression

Knowing the signs of postpartum depression and recognizing it in yourself is the first step.

There is a great network of support out there for you; you just need to know how to find it and we’re here to help.

I am a planner. Things don’t always work out the way you want it to though, especially when you’re married to the military.

We planned and conceived our child while on shore duty and when I was 6 months into the pregnancy we PCSed from Florida to Virginia. I went from a small town I knew well where I had a job, friends and family to a big city where I had to find new doctors on my own while my husband went through chief’s initiation (read never home). He came home one day and told me he would be deploying shortly after our son would be born. That is a lot for a pregnant woman to handle.

Pregnancy hormones are often talked about and every woman’s experience is different. This was my first pregnancy. I was pretty optimistic, a happy person that took things in stride. I was very excited about our new life adventure. Basically, I was on a happy stride during my pregnancy. Then the baby came. What goes up must come down, or so the saying goes. I was so happy to be a new mother, to hold our precious 5.7 pound peanut and to have my husband here for the delivery. When I went home though, my hormones changed as my body adjusted to motherhood.

People don’t really talk about postpartum depression as a personal experience. It wasn’t until I had my baby that so many friends told me how depressed they were after giving birth.

How could anyone be depressed at having a wonderful child of their own? It isn’t something you can control, that’s how.

I consider myself a very strong person and didn’t want to admit to myself, let alone anyone else, that this could be something that I would face personally. But how do you deal with it?

Resources for New Mothers Struggling with Postpartum Depression

People don’t really talk about postpartum depression as a personal experience. Source: Photosavvy via flickr

Knowing the signs of postpartum depression and recognizing it in yourself is the first step; being brave enough to get help is the next. Postpartum Progress puts it in simple terms with a list of questions you should ask yourself. Does this sound like you?

  • You feel completely overwhelmed and helpless.
  • You feel guilty for feeling this way and that you are a terrible person for not being happy as you think you should be.
  • You want to hurt your baby or yourself or to run away from your family.
  • You feel angry, annoyed, irritated, sad or nothing at all.
  • You just know you are not yourself.

If this sounds like you, then reach out and get help. It might be terrifying, you might feel ashamed to admit it to friends or family, but you will feel so much better when you do. There are many resources for milspouses:

  • Utilize Tricare and talk to your doctor. She can give you a referral to a specialist.
  • Military OneSource is a free resource specifically for military families. They offer online support, live calls and links to find in-person help. I also like their guide to having a baby while your spouse is deployed.
  • Postpartum Support International offers live phone sessions where you can speak with a certified specialist. There are local support groups you can join and online resources as well.

    Resources for New Mothers Struggling with Postpartum Depression

    What resources would you recommend for new moms?

  • MOPS, Mothers of Preschoolers, is a wonderful group. It’s actually for moms of children from birth through kindergarten. It isn’t a postpartum depression group; it’s a group of mothers that laugh, cry, eat and talk about motherhood. If you are struggling in any way, go meet some other moms. You’ll learn you aren’t alone. I did.
  • Milspouses are great resources too. Talk to your best friend, your neighbor, your FRG leader or ombudsman. Just talking to another grownup can make a difference. Getting out of your pajamas and out of the house often can as well. Go to a spouse brunch or say yes to an invitation to coffee.
  • Talk to your spouse. This should be the first step, but for some it’s the hardest.

No matter which route you take, there is help out there for you. Reading this article was your first step, which one will you take next? Remember you are not alone.

What resources would you recommend for new moms?

5 Barriers to Mental Health Treatment for Military Spouses

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Last month we talked about PTSD and mental health of our service members. Unfortunately, they aren’t the only ones who need therapy. The all-too-familiar stressors of military life– such as deployments, separations, frequent moves and a feeling of isolation– can be a catalyst for psychological distress.

Military Spouses Face Hurdles to Mental Health Help

Depression and other mental distress can affect military spouses. Many don’t seek help because they face serious hurdles.

It’s normal. What isn’t normal is the barriers that stand in the way of receiving treatment for military spouses.

Three doctors with the Department of Psychiatry at Oregon Health and Sciences University did a study recently that examined why military spouses are underserved when it comes to mental health treatment. The study outlined 5 barriers military spouses face:

  1. inability to attend daytime appointments
  2. inability to find a counselor who understands their needs
  3. inability to find a counselor they could trust
  4. concerns about confidentiality
  5. lack of knowledge about where to get services

With at least 1 million spouses of active duty, Reserve or National Guard service members, this is highly unacceptable.

Let’s take a closely look at each barrier to mental health treatment for military spouses.

Barrier #1: Inability to Attend Daytime Appointments

Most military spouses are either working outside the home or have children. While spouses are quite resourceful, sometimes it’s not possible to get away in the middle of the day. Solution: Counselors should offer evening appointments or provide child care for clients. Another option, although nontraditional, counselors could make house calls and meet the client in their environment.

Barrier #2: Inability to Find a Counselor Who Understands Their Needs

Anyone who has sought mental health help knows how important it is to find a therapist or provider you connect with. Someone who understands your situation and can advise accordingly. This shouldn’t be difficult in military towns, but it can be particularly difficult for National Guard or Reserve families. Solution: Find a counselor you can connect with and educate them throughout your sessions. If that feels too daunting, check out MilitaryOneSource.mil and set up a phone or online counseling session with someone knowledgeable about the lifestyle. ALL members of the National Guard and Reserves and their immediate family members are eligible to use MilitaryOneSource.

Barriers to mental health treatment for military spouses

Finding someone you can trust can be a huge hurdle. Don’t give up.

Barriers #3 & 4: Inability to Find a Counselor They Can Trust & Concerns About Confidentiality

It’s not uncommon for individuals to be nervous about divulging a lot of personal information to a perfect stranger. Especially for individuals who have been drilled with the importance of OPSEC and PERSEC. On top of that, spouses worry that anything they say could be used against their spouse and damage their career. Talk about a barrier. Especially one that is completely irrelevant. Solution: Educate yourself.

MilitaryOneSource addresses this issue in their post about counseling options:

Family members may use counseling services without the notice or consent of the service member. For service members or their families seeking counseling through military support channels, those services are confidential. The only exceptions to confidentiality are for mandatory state, federal and military reporting requirements (for example, domestic violence, child abuse and duty to warn situations). Even then, only those who need to be notified will be informed.

Barrier #5: Lack of Knowledge About Where to Get Services

We’ve all be in a new place and feel completely lost about where to go to find anything. Mental health services shouldn’t be one of those things. It should be as easy to find as the closest grocery store. Solution: A one-stop shop for finding help. MilitaryOneSource does a great job of highlighting options on their website. Not only can they help you find local counselors, but they also outline when you should seek treatment through Tricare or your nearest Military Treatment Facility or VA Center. When in doubt, ask.

Bottom line: There’s absolutely no reason a spouse should go without treatment for a mental health issue, no matter how big or how small. Educate yourself and others on the opportunities and options available and help each other out.

We’re a strong military family. Let’s make sure we’re a healthy military family.

Why do you think military spouses are underserved when it comes to mental health treatment?

 

Accepting PTSD as Normal, Not the Exception

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The 4 letters that could destroy your career: PTSD.

One of the biggest misconceptions in the military right now is that seeking help for PTSD will ruin your career.

Only, it won’t.

I can understand why this misconception is believed. Our service members are trained to be tough and strong to go to war and while not expressly stated, it’s insinuated that seeking help for any kind of distress (mental or physical) is seen as “weak” and “broken.”

That couldn’t be farther from the truth. Seeking help takes an incredible amount of strength and courage.

Here is the saddest part. Studies have shown that our service members WANT help. Researchers asked 2,500 soldiers in Georgia to fill out the standard Post-Deployment Health Assessment twice– once on record and a second time anonymously. Over 68% took part in both surveys and the results nearly doubled for any questions about PTSD and treatment. How insane is that?

Soldiers are tailoring their answers to the questions about their health based on what they think their supervisors want to see.

But at what cost? A rise in suicide attempts, domestic violence and divorce.

No matter what your relationship is to the military– a spouse, active-duty service member, veteran, parent, family member or friend– each one of us has been touched in some way by the effects of PTSD and non-treatment.

And when something horrible happens, we wonder what we could have done, how we could have prevented it and how sad it is that they couldn’t get help.

It’s a vicious cycle that needs to end. There should be no reason why our service members continue to suffer in silence.

Because when you think about it, they aren’t suffering alone. Their families are suffering too. One study showed a tie between PTSD and a higher rate of domestic violence.

While that isn’t a very big surprise, imagine the family whose service member returns home and begins verbal or physical abuse that wasn’t there before. While the spouse may suspect PTSD, any urging to get treatment is met with more violence because who are they to question the person who just lived through hell?

PTSD and combat stress affect nearly all of our military members.

PTSD and combat stress affect all of our military members and families.

It’s a no-win for everyone.

What’s the solution?

Stop glorifying war and start treating war as the traumatic situation that it is. Because until we begin to expect PTSD to be the norm, instead of the exception, we will continue to miss a diagnosis.

That is unacceptable.

 

Your Turn: What barriers exist for PTSD treatment for today’s active duty?