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13 Self-Care Things for When You’re Stuck in a Rut

09/28/2020 By Meg Flanagan

The world is kind of a lot right now, to be honest. We’ve all been socially distant from other people for forever, the news isn’t great and also we can’t travel.

No wonder you’re stuck in a rut! But you can do these 13 self-care things to unstick yourself and get back to living your best life.

13 Self-Care Things for When You’re Stuck in a Rut

1. Face Mask Relaxing

When the world gets to be too much, my skin shows it first. Which means it’s face mask time! I love the Aztec clay masks or the overnight Watermelon mask from Trader Joe’s. They refresh my skin and are easy on my bottomline.

2. Long Soak with Extra Bubbles

While I’m enjoying my mask, you’d better believe I’m soaking in a hot tub with all of the bubbles. So many bubbles. Mr. Bubbles is the hands-down best bubble bath solution: lots of bubbles plus that nostalgic scent!

3. Soothing Tea, Hot or Iced

A cup of tea. There’s just something about sipping tea, hot or iced, that makes me feel a little better. Right now, I’m loving iced hibiscus tea with just a little extra sweetness. In the winter, catch me sipping on Celestial Seasonings Lemon-Ginger tea for it’s throat soothing qualities.

4. Strip Your Feet

You can’t control much, but you can control the state of your feet. Indulge in a foot peel at home. Over the course of a week or so, all the dead skin on the outside of your foot will literally peel away, leaving behind incredibly soft, smooth tootsies.!

5. Listen Up

Pop in your earbuds and listen to something other than the news. We’ve been jamming out to the Hamilton soundtrack in my house. And when I’m alone it’s 100% true crime, all the time. Listening to something can be such an escape from the normal routine of life!

6. Walk it Out!

As Elle Woods would remind you, “Endorphins make you happy.” Exercise builds up those happy endorphins. So go take a walk outside, because fresh air also helps to lighten your mood!

7. Stretch Yourself

Yoga has long been a method to relax and rest your body and mental state. There are tons of great practices to stream on YouTube. My fave right now is Yoga with Adriene. She’s got a gentle, highly adaptable practice that invites movement for every body.

8. Lay Down

Honestly, sometimes laying down is a great way to literally take a load off. Unroll that yoga mat or lay down a picnic blanket.

Just lay there, eyes shut. Maybe listen to music or a podcast.

9. Add Color

Remember when you were 5 and could color for hours? Reconnect to the moment with a nice set of Crayolas and an adult coloring book!

10. Smell the Roses

Got flowers? Smell them! Enjoying the natural fragrance of flowers can be a huge mood booster. Treat yourself to a pretty bouquet to bring floral joy inside your house.

11. DIY Mani/Pedi

My nails were looking pretty wrecked what with, you know, a pandemic closing salons and spas. So I treated myself to a few new polishes and DIYed a mani/pedi experience at home, foot bath and all.

12. Ignore the News

One of the best things I did during self-isolation was to tune out the news. Instead of a constant stream of news updates and click-baity headlines, I got nothing. Pure silence. Which left me more time to walk outside, do yoga, smell flowers and color.

13. Turn the Page

Now that I’m not tuning into the news constantly, I also have time to read. I’m loving the digital library downloads from both my local library and the Navy MWR Library. Now, I’ve got books in the palm of my hand, whenever I want.

How are you practicing self-care right now? Share your best tips and tricks!

6 Fave Base Housing Decor Hacks

09/23/2020 By Meg Flanagan

Ahhhh….white walls. Another base house, ready to welcome us to our new duty station. Except now I’ve got to spruce the place up.

Luckily, I’ve got a whole host of incredible inspiration from White Walls, a Facebook group for military spouses, and my 10+ years as a military spouse.

6 Fave Base Housing Decor Hacks

So base housing is pretty basic: white walls, plain floors, regular windows. Basic.

And, in some cases, there’s not much you can do to change things around. Painting walls isn’t always allowed.

But you can use these quick and easy decor hacks to make your base house into a home.

Put Some Words On It

One quick and easy way to add personality is to add wall decals. I love these! My husband might say I go overboard, but that’s never bothered me.

Plus, you can put wall decals everywhere. In our homes over the years, we’ve had quotes in bedrooms, living rooms and kitchens.

Add a Pop of Color to the Windows

It’s so tempting to keep curtains plain and neutral, but why not go for a little color instead?

Curtains are such a fun way to bring a room to life.

My kids love adding curtains with their favorite characters, like Frozen or Thomas the Train. In our kitchen, we have a cute little valance from Okinawa.

Photo Credit: ©Photographee.eu /Shutterstock

Put Plants Everywhere

Nothing breathes life into a home more than plants! Put them in every single room.

Succulents in the bathrooms, flowers on the dining table and herbs in the kitchen.

Add a Coffee Station

Every house has space for a coffee pot. Level it up by displaying some of your favorite mugs, too!

One of our favorite things is collecting coffee cups from all the places we’ve traveled over the years. Now we feature them as part of our home’s decor!

In pre-pandemic days, it was always a cool conversation starter. Coffee mugs: useful and pretty!

Create Display Spaces

Shelves are, like coffee mugs, pretty and useful. Military housing never has the same configuration of shelving or storage. It’s a rule or something.

Which means that you can add bookshelves and corner shelves and floating shelves and coffee station shelves.

Shelving is the ideal way to show off some personality in a way that doesn’t mess up the gleaming white walls of your base house.

Show Off Your Artsy Side

Art, photos, kid’s drawings, whatever. Put it up on your walls.

Nothing distracts from plain walls like colorful art! Add pretty frames for even more personality.

How do you make your base house feel like home? Share your best decor hacks with us!

Super Cute Things You Need for Your Virtual Office That You Can Score at the PX

09/17/2020 By Meg Flanagan

So, we’re all working from home now for the rest of our lives. Which means it’s the perfect excuse to take that home office situation up a few notches.

Super Cute Things You Need for Your Virtual Office That You Can Score at the PX

Shopping trip! Hooray!

And lucky you, the PX has so many cute things that will help you DIY the virtual office of your dreams.

Adorable Wall-Mounted Desk

Let’s face it, military houses are not the most spacious around. Which means making clever use of your space.

This wall mounted desk is the perfect solution! Tuck up the work surface when you’re off-duty, but quickly pull everything back out ASAP.

Sleek Classic Desk with Flair

If you’ve got the space, check out this adorable classically-styled wooden desk, with metal accents! It’s got three drawers for tons of storage flexibility.

No more fumbling for papers when you’re Zooming.

Two-Tone Ergonomic Desk Chair

Guys, you’re gonna need to sit somewhere and this modern mesh office chair is kind of perfect. It supports your back while also fitting into the background of your next video conference easily.

Tone Your Core While You Type

With a fun exercise ball chair! You’ll need to balance as you sit at your desk, which could give you the six-pack abs of your dreams.

Or at least keep you from getting the fidget. Either way, win-win.

Shed Light with a Simple Lamp

Add a little bit of extra brightness to your desk simply with a cute black-and-white metal lamp!

Old-School Desk Lamp

Remember the desk lamp your grandparents had? Yeah, you can get one for your very own!

Also, it looks like the Pixar lamp which is incredibly cool.

What are you must-have items for your home office? Share your faves in the comments!

10 Things You Need to Do for a Safe Pandemic PCS

09/09/2020 By Meg Flanagan

You’ve been staying socially distant from others for months. No one has crossed that threshold since March. And now you’re getting ready to have movers pack up all your stuff and ship it to somewhere else.

10 Things You Need to Do for a Safe Pandemic PCS

To get yourself ready and keep everyone safe, you should consider doing these 10 simple things.

1. Make Your Wishes Known

Not everyone, unfortunately, is following the same safety precautions. But that shouldn’t mean that your family needs to compromise on safety.

Instead, make your COVID precautions known early and often. Start by letting the move coordinator know what you’re expecting, then repeat that to the company representative.

Post a sign on the door with your expectations for safety: masks, gloves, sanitizer, etc.

Then, remind your movers politely of what you’d like them to do so that you can all stay safe right now.

2. Require Hand Sanitizer

If you can find it, grab a few larger containers of hand sanitizer and station them around the house. Placing sanitizers at your front door, in the kitchen and near the bathroom would be a great start!

3. Offer Masks & Gloves

Not everyone wears masks and gloves or has access to them. To be safe, consider buying a pack of disposable masks and nitrile gloves.

Offer masks and gloves to the movers for your pack-up and your unpack.

Oh, and even though it’s your house, you and your family should mask up for the duration of the packing or unpacking process.

4. Designate a Restroom

You probably already do this, but if you can designate one bathroom just for the movers to use. Stock it with soap, sanitizer, Lysol wipes and disposable paper towels.

5. Pre-Pack as Much as You Can

Whether moving companies will pack Rubbermaid totes as-is or will unpack them and repack them is up to each business. However, many will just pack your pre-boxed household goods without question.

If you’re not comfortable with the movers touching all of your things, consider pre-packing your clothes, kitchen tools and utensils or other high-touch items.

6. Individually Wrapped Snacks & Drinks

Many of us buy the movers pizza or doughnuts as a thank you for a good move. However, it might be smarter this year to buy a bunch of individually wrapped granola bars and stock a cooler with bottles of water.

Less shared food and drinks could mean fewer germs floating around.

7. Shoe Covers to Prevent Germs Walking Around

Stop extra dirt (and germs) from getting tracked inside your house by offering sanitary shoe covers. Mover should use them inside the house as much as possible.

8. Hire a COVID-Safe Sitter

Kids get underfoot during a normal move. But to prevent them from exposure outside your pandemic-safe bubble, consider keeping your children out the house entirely.

Hire a sitter or ask a friend to watch them for the day, if you can.

9. Monitor from a Distance

Getting up close and personal to watch the packers at work isn’t really a thing in 2020. Sure, you should still monitor how things are going, but try to keep your distance.

Check each box before it gets loaded into the truck and ask about what’s in it. Then cross-reference it on your list of items and boxes to be sure.

10. Stocking Up on Cleaners & Wipes

Cleaning has never been more important, especially when you have strangers coming into your home for an extended period of time.

Before the movers come, wipe everything down with a sanitizing cleaner. As people move room to room, consider following them and wiping down any surfaces. When the move is over or if you’re sharing a restroom, wipe it down between users. Basically, clean everything before, during and after!

You’re going to need a lot of Clorox!

How has your family handled a pandemic PCS season? Sound off in the comments!

5 Plant Babies You Need to Adopt Right Now

09/01/2020 By Meg Flanagan

We’ve been trapped in our houses and yards for what feels like an eternity. There is no escaping to a tropical getaway location. Heck, it feels “exotic” to go to the next county over!

But you can (and should) freshen up your house with a few pretty, easy plants. It’s a new pop of color in a place that otherwise looks exactly the same as it did approximately 295* days ago.

*Not necessarily an accurate count of pandemic duration, just how I long I feel I’ve been trapped in the house with my kids.

Breathe Life into Your House with 5 Easy-Care Plants

Get your ordering fingers ready because you’re going to need some pots, soil and a few spades. You’ve got digging to do!

Succulents for Life!

Is there a plant that easier to care for than a succulent? Probably not.

A little water, some sun and you’ve got yourself a pretty happy plant. Bonus: succulents come in all shapes and sizes and colors. Meaning you can go big or small!

Photo Credit: ©Jusakas /Shutterstock

Grow Some Herbs

Know what’s great? When your new plant baby does two things: brightens up your house and provides yummy seasoning for your meals.

Winning!

Plant a little basil or rosemary, both super easy to grow inside, in pots on your windowsill. Then pluck off a few sprigs anytime your dinner needs a little more pizzazz!

Add Christmas All Year Long

Pops of bright red and green mean Christmas in my house. But also they’re the festive colors of your new Christmas cactus!

This super easy to grow plant is also kid and pet safe!

A Spider You’ll Love

Spider plants are the number one plant to get if your thumb is more brown or black than green. They’re basically impossible to kill!

Also, they grow tiny new plant babies called spiderettes that you can gift to your friends. You’ll be able to create a whole community of related plants!

Easy-Care Mini Orchids for the Win!

Orchids are scary and delicate, except if they’re mini orchids!

Plant these colorful, tropical beauties in a place with lots of moisture and sun. Definitely read the care instruction carefully before you purchase.

What are your favorite plants right now? Sound off in the comments!

3 Education Rights Your Military Family Needs to Know Now

09/01/2020 By Meg Flanagan

Education as we knew it no longer exists. In it’s place is a new normal: socially distant in-person learning, hybrid online/offline learning or (more commonly right now) 100% virtual learning from home.

School looks very different from when we were kids. Luckily there are laws and regulations that protect your child’s right to an equitable education.

Military Families Need to Use These Rights In Public Schools Now

Note: nothing presented in this article should be construed as legal advice; families should consult an attorney if they suspect that their child’s educational rights have been violated.

FERPA for Everyone

All students enrolled in public schools are protected by the Family Education Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA). This law works like HIPAA in healthcare.

Basically, it means that only very limited information about your child can be shared publicly. That usually means any “directory” information: name, address, phone number, place/date of birth and awards or honors.

Everything else, like grades or education plans, remains highly restricted. Only teachers and staff with a vested current interest in the student may access non-directory information. This means that a third grade teacher can’t poke around in a fourth grader’s cumulative records.

FERPA also means that you, as parents, have the right to review your child’s record and request corrections or add a letter that states your concerns with the information present. FERPA also allows parents to make photo copies of their child’s cumulative records. However, schools may charge a fee for these copies.

Why you need to know about it now:

You need to know about FERPA right now because we are in the age of digital everything. Grades are stored online, assignments are all online and even teaching is virtual.

The digital world means that you need to guard your child’s records even more carefully. It’s easy to attach the wrong info to an email!

Asking for a careful review of records is also crucial prior to a PCS. Make sure that everything is intact and correct before you leave the school. Ask to correct any errors that you notice right away.

Individualized Education Rights You Might Miss

No part of school is normal right now – and that goes double for children with IEPs! Luckily, the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) and state laws include special protections for parents navigating special education.

Basically, schools are duty bound to find, assess and support students with diagnosed or suspected learning differences per Child Find.

When kids are enrolled in schools, testing data determines whether a child is in need of an IEP or individualized education plan. The whole IEP is designed to meet your child exactly where they are with services and supports to fit their specific needs.

Parents must consent to initial and annual evaluations. Parents must also be part of the IEP team, collaborating in the development of the IEP, and providing written consent to the IEP.

Why you need to know it now:

With the pandemic school shut down, special education services look different. However, parental consent is still required before any changes in placement, supports or services is made to an IEP.

Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos has repeatedly stated that IDEA is not altered in any way and that states will not be able to seek waivers. A waiver would allow states to skirt testing timelines or make changes without parental involvement.

We all recognize that things won’t look the same for students with disabilities during distance learning. However, parents still should be involved in the process and be able to give fully informed consent.

Right now, parents should be reviewing any and all documents related to their child’s education plan and services from March to the present. You should be checking for changes to which you did not provide consent or missed assessment timelines. If you notice either of these things, it’s time to ask questions, possibly with the support of a professional education advocate or lawyer.

Free Access to Education is Important

One of the major tenants of IDEA is Free Appropriate to Public Education (FAPE). This little clause means that students with disabilities should have access to an equitable education, delivered at their instructional level and per their IEP.

FAPE is something that parents need to advocate for every single year.

Why you need to know it now:

Again, school doesn’t look like it did last year at this time. Services don’t look the same and aren’t going to be delivered in the normal setting.

Students with disabilities might not be able to access the technology required for equal access to the distance learning platform being used in their school. They may not be able to demonstrate skills or receive services virtually.

Each school needs to be aware of these possibilities and be prepared to make adjustments that ensure FAPE for each child with an IEP.

As a parent, you should be holding the school accountable for FAPE by checking that they are adapting technology, curriculum, assignments and services for our new educational reality.

Have you needed to advocate for your child during virtual learning? Sound off in the comments!

Military Spouses Adapt, Overcome Pandemic Related K-12 Education Obstacles

08/20/2020 By Meg Flanagan

Troops are returning to business as usual, but their children are largely left in limbo due to a patchwork approach to K-12 education and child care options. As a result, military spouses are feeling the stress as many must also return to work or college this fall.

Military Spouses Adapt, Overcome Pandemic Related K-12 Education Obstacles

Military spouses are concerned about how much they are shouldering and the sacrifices they are making due to the evolving pandemic crisis.

“I just had to make the tough decision to leave my job teaching preschool,” Becky, located on the East Coast, shared. “I love my job, but taking care of the needs of my (kids) in this uncertain time is more important.”

While military spouses are used to career and education fluctuations due to PCSing and the needs of the military, balancing their professional pursuits while also existing in a crisis state has compounded the impact. Several military spouses shared that they needed to make hard decisions about their careers and small businesses.

Katie S., a military spouse with a deployed husband, has also seen her small business change in radical ways due to the pandemic.

“I have had to take a giant step back from my business and allow my team to take over some areas I wasn’t planning on stepping away from for a few more years,” she said. “There is simply not enough time in the day, so something had to give. This is a business that I have built from the ground up over the past 3 years. It has grown beyond my wildest dreams and it is incredibly sad to step back and slow such massive growth, but my family comes first.”

Sam, who is stationed OCONUS, needs to take a step back from pursuing her college degree due to uncertainty of child care and K-12 education this fall.

“I’m in college and have switched to only online courses this fall,” she explained. “I will only be able to do 9 credits so I am not considered full time and will most likely take me longer to obtain my degree in accounting. I may end up dropping a class because there’s not enough time in the day.”

However, all military spouses shared that they were making personal and professional sacrifices to better support their families during an uncertain time.

Through a PCS, Amanda, who moved from Germany to Colorado this summer, has had to make major decisions without knowing exactly what her options would be.

“We started the Pandemic at Ramstein, Germany,” she said. “We are now in Colorado. We are learning by the day how the pandemic will impact the school year. It is very uncomfortable to return to a new school under these conditions.”

Varied Education Decisions Lead to Uncertainty for Parents

Military spouses who responded were located around the US and the world. Sam, who is living OCONUS, is relying on local day care options combined with DODEA. Katie has children enrolled in DODEA schools stateside, but must look to state-level education decisions to drive her planning for the fall. Becky also lives in the US in a region where many school districts are beginning the school year remotely, with future plans to consider returning in-person. Amanda, who recently moved back to the US, has four children with three in elementary school and one is middle school.

Sam has two children in DODEA schools, ranging from first grade to middle school, with her third child attending a local preschool. Right now, she is torn between the needs of her children in K-12 schools that conflict with her own college education and her preschooler. Sam also has a two-year-old child who is receiving services from EDIS.

“(W)e do not know how it will affect our morning routine and if I will need my four-year-old to not return to Youchien,” she said. “If my 6-year-old needs to be on the computer at 8am, I won’t be able to take my four-year-old to school for an 8:30 drop off.”

Right now, neither of her children have a firm schedule of classes and expectations. Instead, they have a general outline of their school day, which falls between 8:00 am and 3:00 pm. However, she does not know when her children will need to be “live” online or when they can work independently.

Becky knows that her older child will be attending high school online through winter break, but her younger children in elementary and middle school may return to in-person or hybrid learning sometime after October.

“The uncertainty of the kid’s schedules–virtual school for the older two until after winter break, virtual start for the elementary school child with a possibility to attend with a hybrid plan after October, a delayed start to preschool, no update to the IEP for services yet or what those schedules will look like–was too much to try to coordinate with a to-be-determined preschool schedule.”

Katie opted to pull both of her children from traditional classrooms in order to homeschool this year.

“After our experience this spring we have decided homeschool would be the best fit for our son out of the options given so I will be homeschooling him and our PreK daughter while working from home,” she shared.

Due to her PCS, Amanda has made the decision for in-person schooling if and when it’s available.

If we stayed in-place, we would have chosen virtual learning,” she explained. “My kids thrived learning at home. They were able to work at their own pace and take breaks when needed. We have no connections here. My kids will need school to help build those connections. Then maybe we will choose to return to virtual learning. But only after they’ve made connections to their teachers and built a friendship base.”

IEPs Major Driver of Education Uncertainty, Decisions for Parents

Two of the four military spouses we spoke with have children with IEPs. None are certain that their IEPs will be implemented correctly or effectively this fall. In part, their feelings are driven by their experiences with virtual learning in spring 2020.

Becky, as of mid-August, had not hear about how IEPs would be implemented. Her concern is compounded due to the fact that her child is also making the transition between middle school and high school.

“My oldest child has an emotional disability and many of his services were postponed” Becky said. “I worry about him starting high school without that last quarter of middle school to help him grow and prepare. I also worry about how overwhelming online high school will be.”

Katie’s decision to homeschool was largely influenced by her experiences of IEP assessments and services during virtual learning this spring.

“My first grade son is autistic and virtual school this spring was a disaster for us. The lack of structure and routine made it extremely hard for him to focus on his school work.”

Many children with ASD, or autism spectrum disorders, thrive with a steady routine and schedule.

In addition to receiving a disability diagnosis, Katie’s son was also stuck in IEP no-man’s-land as assessments were requested just before COVID-19 forced her child’s school to close. This paused his testing and left him without a clear education plan in place.

“He not only did not make forward progress in his education, but we noticed a drastic decrease in previously mastered skills,” Katie explained. “His autism diagnosis was made in February, we requested his IEP evaluation within a week or two of diagnosis but due to COVID we did not even begin the evaluation process prior to school closures. Due to this he had no additional help or accommodations to help him through the virtual learning process. This was all on our plates as parents to sort out on our own.”

Making the Best with the Hand They are Dealt

While Katie is powering through homeschooling and running her how business while her husband is deployed, she also acknowledges that schools are in a tough spot.

“I feel they did the best with the hand they were dealt,” she explained. “The schools are forced to work with the guidelines set by the state and had to wait until those guidelines were decided before they could make their game plan.”

As a teacher, Becky is in a unique position to understand pandemic education decisions as a parent and as an educator.

“I have significant concerns about the quality of the content that will be taught and the accountability, not because of a lack of faith in the teachers, but because this is new for everyone,” she explained. “Teachers are in a unique and challenging position planning new content and delivery and I hope we are able to support them on our end for a successful first semester!”

Amanda, also an educator and co-author of Seasons of My Military Student, is hopeful and excited about possible innovations that improve learning for the future.

“While the pandemic is a horrible reason to cause schools to shut down, I hope leadership really takes advantage of the amazing new opportunities available to schools,” she explained. “The new access to technology, learning platforms, virtual field trips, hybrid or virtual options. Let’s embrace the positive aspects of this crisis and use it to build amazing programs for kids.”

How is your military family adapting to K-12 education during the COVID-19 pandemic? Share your experiences in the comments!

9 Ideas that Make the Most of Summer Produce

08/18/2020 By Meg Flanagan

We’re rolling right through berry season to orchard fruit season all while plump, juicy tomatoes ripen on the vines.

Yup, it’s summer produce time! And we’ve got 9 great recipes that make the most of summer produce!

9 Meals that Make the Most of Summer Produce

The fruits and veggies of summer beg for simple meals that really let each ingredient shine.

We are 100% craving these recipes right now!

Pasta with Homemade Tomato Sauce

Pasta with sauce is such a classic, especially when you use extra ripe tomatoes and fresh basil!

Pile of Veggies Rice Bowls

When it’s too hot to cook pasta, use a rice cooker to whip up a fresh batch of grains. Then top everything with the freshest produce you can find for a hearty veggie-centered rice bowl.

Bonus: you can swap rice for quinoa, bulgar wheat, farrow or any other hearty grain.

Berry Healthy Salad

And then there are days when it’s too hot to cook anything at all, even hands-off with rice cookers or slow cookers.

That’s when we reach for this incredible apple-berry-spinach salad that’s a snap to pull together super fast.

Photo Credit: ©lilechka75 /Adobe Stock

Simple, Easy Tomato Tart

When you’ve got an overload of vine-ripened tomatoes, it’s time to try this yummy recipe for tomato tart!

Watermelon Salad

Yes, watermelon in a savory salad. Just combine it with feta cheese and a few herbs for a delicious summer side dish.

Fast Fresh Dip for Chips

Give your chips something incredible to dip into when you make fresh pico de gallo. It literally could not be simpler!

Grilled Corn on the Cob

Fire up the grill to savor sweet corn on the cob with a flavorful twist!

Photo Credit: ©arinahabich /Adobe Stock

Quick Fruit Jams

Jam really captures the flavors of fruits, especially berries. While some recipes do take a little know-how and some time, we love a recipe for freezer jam!

Sip Strawberry Aqua de Fresca

Cool off on a hot summer day with a refreshing beverage. We love this simple, easy aqua de fresca made with strawberries!

Photo Credit: ©Agnes /Adobe Stock

Vanessa Guillen’s Disappearance & Death Sheds Light on DOD Sexual Harassment Reporting Flaws

08/04/2020 By Meg Flanagan

PFC Vanessa Guillen, age 20, was last seen alive on April 22. On July 5, her remains were identified. What happened in the weeks and months in between are shining a light on the military’s process of reporting and investigating sexual harassment and assault in the ranks.

Vanessa Guillen’s Disappearance & Death Sheds Light on DOD Sexual Harassment Reporting Flaws

According to reports from Guillen’s family and friends, she had confided in them about several instances of sexual harassment in the months leading up to her disappearance. ABC News reported that Guillen had experienced repeated harassment, including a supervisor watching her shower. However, she had not reported anything to her chain of command out of a fear of reprisals.

Since then, female troops and veterans have flooded social media using the hashtag #IamVanessaGuillen, sharing their own experiences with sexual assault and harassment in the military.

Flawed Reporting Practices Exposed?

From across the services, women are coming forward to share their experiences – and retaliation for reporting.

I was a brand new 2LT when I was sexually assaulted by my OIC. I spoke out; my CMD team took it seriously. Evidence has been found of past instances for this OIC and he’s now facing multiple charges. Despite a “good” outcome for me, reform is needed #IAmVanessaGuillen pic.twitter.com/vbLLA8FVsA

— Mary (@mjolly36) July 14, 2020

Military Times shared the story of former Army Spc. Ashley Martinez, who said that her chain of command actively worked to discredit her after reporting a rape. Ultimately, Martinez left the Army as a result of this process.

https://twitter.com/ashtayluh/status/1278423464718880768

Martinez is one among hundred of sexual assault survivors who are coming forward in the wake of Guillen’s disappearance and death. Many survivors report that their cases were ignored or that their were attempts to discredit their accounts. Some shared that they ultimately left the military while their attackers continue to progress through the ranks.

Hundreds Share Stories of Survival Online

Survivors are coming forward and sharing their stories online and with media outlets. News organizations like ABC, PBS, The Guardian and Military Times are all sharing stories of sexual assault, harassment and retaliation. Popular true crime podcast, The Murder Squad, dedicated two separate episodes to Guillen’s case exploring additional unsolved murders and discussing the military sexual assault reporting process as well.

Across the different outlets, the theme of retaliation for reporting was consistent.

Army veteran Tiffany Summa told PBS News Hour that she was raped in 2009. She waited 6 years for the results of her rape kit. When she summoned up the courage to report it to her command, she was told to bury it and ignore it. Summa shared that she was further threatened that this high ranking officer would “bury” her if she did not comply.

Legislation was proposed in 2013 to remove the chain of command, including officers like the one Summa encountered, and place investigations in the hands of independent prosecutors. However, this bill was countered with proposal to keep investigations centered around the chain of command. Ultimately, the chain of command remains central to investigations of sexual assault and harassment.

In addition, military members are prohibited from suing the military for damages over injuries that occur while they are in the service.

Options for Reporting Sexual Assault & Harassment in Ranks

There are two types of reports that victims can make, restricted and unrestricted. Restricted reporting limits options in terms of pursuing prosecution while also offering supports like therapy or medical care. Unrestricted reporting essentially makes the report public, allowing for military prosecution.

Victims may report sexual assault to:

  • medical professional
  • chain of command
  • military law enforcement
  • civilian law enforcement
  • SARC/SHARP representative
  • therapist or other mental health care provider

Victims wishing to remain anonymous or receive assistance without triggering an investigation can file restricted reports with SARC/SHARP, a medical professional.

Once an unrestricted report has been made it cannot be converted to a restricted report. However, survivors may elect to change their restricted report to an unrestricted report in order to trigger an investigation.

DOD Stats Show Troubling Trend

For fiscal year 2018, the most recent data available, 24.2% of female troops indicated that they had experienced sexual harassment. In addition, 6.2% indicated that they had been sexually assaulted.

Of those who reported sexual assault, 21% of those cases met the criteria of retaliation or retaliatory behavior.

The report also noted that experiencing sexual harassment statistically increased the odds of sexual assault. Approximately 1 in 5 victims of sexual harassment would be sexually assaulted.

There was also a statistically significant increase of women reporting sexual assault across all service branches.

It should be noted that these numbers indicate sexual harassment and assault that was reported to the service member’s chain of command. It does not account for cases that were not reported.

Have you experienced sexual assault or harassment while serving in the military? Did you report it? Were you retaliated against?

How to Prep for an Uncertain School Year

08/03/2020 By Meg Flanagan

Right about now, you should be making your list of back-to-school supplies and getting ready for the kids to head back into the classroom. Except this is 2020 and nothing is certain, even K-12 school. No matter what the next 10 months hold, you can still do a little prep for an uncertain school year.

How to Prep for an Uncertain School Year

The first thing is to make peace with the uncertainty of education for our kids. Just like the last six or so months, normal is no longer a thing. We’re all navigating this new world together.

Right now, the best thing we can do is maintain flexibility. Luckily, being able to pivot on a dime is something the military community is good at!

Consider Your Options

While many states and districts are looking to reopen in some capacity, not all schools will be returning to traditional 5-day a week instruction.

What is more likely is for schools to offer one or more options to families. Those options may likely include:

  • 100% remote learning
  • Hybrid learning with some in-person learning and some online learning
  • Traditional instruction

Each option your school or district may offer needs to be carefully weighed and considered.

In making your decision, you should consider:

  • Your child’s learning style since online learning doesn’t work well for all children
  • Additional learning needs, like IEPs, 504 Plans and Gifted Education
  • Your work schedule and job requirements
  • Child care options outside of K-12 school

Know Where We Stand on COVID-19 & Schooling

As of publication, COVID-19 cases are spiking in many states in the US. When other nations reopened their public schools, cases were in a steady decline or had been nearing zero.

Much like this spring, the ultimate decision about school reopening in any capacity may ultimately out of your hands. If your school opens in August or September, future surges of COVID-19 could force the building to close again. Already, schools in LA and San Diego will be shuttered in September amid a sharp rise in cases.

Should similar circumstances occur in other areas of the US, it would not be surprising if schools were closed again in the 2020-2021 school year.

Understand & Teach Safety for School

Part of safely returning to school in the fall means taking additional measures for your child’s personal safety, as well as supporting teachers’ efforts to stay healthy.

Before entering the classroom your child should understand:

  • Importance of wearing a mask 100% of the time
  • Social distancing as often as possible in school
  • Proper hand washing routines
  • Need to frequent hand sanitization
  • Rationale behind not sharing anything with anyone

Right now, there isn’t a lot of data about COVID-19’s spread among children. However, schools and classrooms are closed environments where students will be in close quarters. Maintaining recommendations about masks and keeping physically distant from others is important to keeping everyone healthy.

To support teachers, parents should:

  • Keep your child home at the first sign of illness
  • Help teachers keep the classroom sanitized with cleaning products and hand sanitizer
  • Be vocal with school leaders to support teachers’ well-being and continued health

Remain Ready to Pivot to At-Home Learning

No matter what you personally do to keep your own family safe, you do not have control over other families. A spike in cases has the potential to close physical school building and return to distance learning.

In order to make this pivot, it’s important that all families prep early – just in case.

Right now, parents should:

  • Consider back-up child care options for hybrid learning and possible school closures
  • Talk with their employer about work-from-home options
  • Think about other options for K-12 education, if possible

At home, consider setting up an at-home learning center for your child if you don’t already have a similar space. You could include a desk, pens/pencils, art supplies, folders and notebooks as well as a place to charge computers or tablets.

If you do not believe that the current online learning program provided by your child’s school is a good fit, now is a great time to explore other options.

  • Private tutoring
  • Homeschool co-op
  • Private online school
  • Individual homeschool
  • Private in-person school

The most important way to prepare right now, though, is to remain flexible and consider all of your options. We have no way to predict the future of both the pandemic and the state of K-12 education in the US. The situation remains fluid and is evolving daily.

Parents of school-aged children should be prepared to pivot to distance learning or to jump to alternate child care and schooling options as needed.

What is your family planning to do for K-12 education this fall? What factors are you considering? Sound off in the comments.

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