Military Life News

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What I Wish I’d Known Before Becoming a Military Spouse

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I’ve heard it, have you?

“You knew what you were getting into.”

It’s often delivered by a more seasoned spouse when another person appears to be complaining about military life. Other times we hear this from well-meaning members of the civilian population. Either way, I most certainly did not fully grasp what I was getting into when I married my military husband. I’m betting you didn’t know either.

What I Wish I'd Known Before Becoming a Military Spouse

What do you wish you had known before you became a military spouse?

What I Wish I’d Known Before Becoming a Military Spouse

How to Move Homes

Before that first PCS, the biggest “move” of my life was for a one-semester study abroad in, wait for it, Canada. I’m from New England. It was like moving next door.

As I dove into the military spouse world, I quickly realized I was in over my head. Everyone else had binders and plans and apps and lists of serial numbers (with photos attached).

I had, well, nothing.

Over time, I’ve picked up a few tricks. I wash and then bag clothes, bed linens and towels. Food and water are supplied for the packers and movers, but I watch them like a hawk too. I always leave some extra toilet paper in the bathroom along with some room spray.

All the Acronyms

I’m a teacher. We use acronyms for everything. I thought I was prepared…until the military came to town. At first, my eyes glazed over and my mouth went slack, complete with a strand of drool. Every other “word” out of my husband’s mouth seemed to be a random string of letters.

Luckily, I found a few great military spouse guidebooks that really explained some of these acronyms to me. The rest? I either asked my spouse, turned to a friend or Googled it. I’m still figuring some acronyms out.

Legal Eagle

Military life goes hand in hand with lawyers, it seems. I knew that real adults needed things, like wills and stuff. I just wasn’t prepared to dive in right away.

Nope, the military had other ideas! I quickly learned what a POA was, and that I would need several different versions to actually run my life during deployment. I also learned about wills, DNRs, insurance policies and SCRA. I wish that someone had sat me down during pre-military marriage counseling for the lawyer talk.

How to Pick a Rental Property

I’m a decade into this ride and I still feel like I’m winging this one for the most part. Luckily, my father-in-law is super handy at home and taught my husband well. But I don’t know that I would know what to look for that indicates a terrible home.

The first time around? Our off-base rental had rats. Another home (or two) had funky windows and an old heating system. Our current on-base home was assigned without other options, but it’s got a few geckos. Yes, you read that right.

I would still love a comprehensive checklist with what to look for in a rental property. If you’ve got this, please hit me up!

Ask for Help

Before 2008, I mostly flew solo. I felt competent and confident about everything, from school to love to housing. And then I got married and he left for a long time.

I needed help, but I wasn’t sure how to ask for it. I’d never needed anything more serious than a recommendation letter or a little string pulled.

Now, I needed help moving into our house, finding friends, figuring out finances and navigating a new location. It was a lot.

Luckily, I ended up in base housing (after the rat situation). I was surrounded by other brand new spouses plus a few experienced friends. With a little help, I figured it all out, mostly. Now I can share a little of my wisdom with other spouses.

Your Heart Breaks

To prepare myself for military life, I watched military classics. Namely: “Top Gun” and “An Officer and A Gentleman.” I was prepared for the romance, the mystery.

What I wasn’t prepared for? The moment that bus pulls out for 9 to 12 months. No one told me how much it would physically hurt to be away from my spouse.

They also didn’t prepare me for the other goodbyes that were coming. Every few years, deployment or not, my heart breaks again when we move. I’ve stood in more parking lots than I care to think about, tears streaming down my face. Saying “farewell,” even “see you later,” to dear friends is heart-wrenching.

The Best People

Unless you live in this community, you don’t truly get it. I’ve never met a more diverse group of individuals. The military welcomes everyone. It could be terrible. There are a lot of opposing viewpoints and beliefs here that have the potential to erupt.

Instead, everyone seems to have adopted the idea that we are in this together. No one hesitates to offer help to another family in need. I’ve had almost complete strangers step up when I was too sick to be around my child. Other friends save coupons for me to use while we’re OCONUS. We share rental recommendations, school information and the lowdown on making the best of a bad situation.

Some of my absolute best friends, the gals who are in my life forever, are military spouses.

I wish someone had told me how amazing this community is before I stepped into this life. The people we’ve met along the way have made all the difference for us.

What do you wish you had known before you became a military spouse? Tell us in the comments!

5 Breastfeeding Tips for New Moms

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Breastfeeding is hard. For some reason, people don’t tell you that while you’re pregnant. You see ads in magazines of glowing new moms blissfully nursing their babies and think “oh, this will be easy.”

5 Breastfeeding Tips for New Moms

Breast pumps are now 100% covered under Tricare. All you need is a prescription from your doctor.

For most moms, it isn’t that simple. Some women luck out and have babies that are great at latching. They have a steady milk supply and don’t run in to any nursing-related medical problems.

For the rest of us, nursing takes practice and a whole lot of patience. Here are 5 tips for moms that plan to breastfeed their babies.

5 Breastfeeding Tips for New Moms

Learn about Breastfeeding

This sounds funny to say, but breastfeeding isn’t as simple as it sounds. A lot of women give up breastfeeding because they thought it would be easy to do but then discovered that it wasn’t.

I recently had our second child, a baby girl. I watched videos online about how to breastfeed over and over again when she wasn’t latching properly. I nursed our first child so you would think doing it again would be easy, but no 2 babies are alike.

You can learn about breastfeeding through books such as “What to Expect When You’re Expecting,” by watching videos online, by taking a baby education class or by attending a breastfeeding support group. Talking to friends that have breastfed their babies can be really helpful as well.

Prep for Breastfeeding

Once you’ve decided that you’re going to breastfeed your baby, you’ll want to prep for it while you are pregnant. There are a few things to consider.

  • Will you exclusively breastfeed or will you also pump?
  • Will you be breastfeeding in public?

These questions are to determine what items you will need to acquire. If you plan to pump, then you’ll need to get a pump, milk storage bags, bottles and cleaning supplies.

If you are going to nurse in public, then you might want to consider how comfortable you will feel. Some people are perfectly confident nursing in public and some are not. Either way, your wardrobe will probably change. You will want nursing bras and nursing tank tops as well as nursing friendly tops. Some women like to have a type of cover to place over the baby for more privacy as well.

Get a Free Pump

Even if you aren’t sure you want to pump, get a pump anyway. A wonderful benefit of Tricare is that breast pumps are 100% covered and you can get a new one with each child you have. It’s simple to do as well.

All you need is a prescription from your doctor.

You do not have to buy your pump at a specific place. There are numerous stores, home health supply companies and online retailers that will give you a no-cost pump with your prescription. Many now offer free accessories.

Look around for the best deal and see what you can get. Once you have your pump, take it out of the box and read the directions before the baby comes.

5 Breastfeeding Tips for New Moms

This is a picture of the pump I ordered along with all the free accessories that came with it.

Don’t Get Overwhelmed

When the baby arrives, don’t let yourself get overwhelmed with breastfeeding. It’s natural to worry if your baby is getting enough milk and if you’re doing it right. A lactation nurse should visit you in the hospital to help you get started.

Once you’re home things might go well for a period of time and then all of a sudden change. Don’t panic.

Tricare covers lactation consultations. You can get help. You can also join a lactation support group. I joined the one at our hospital. It’s a great way to meet other moms as well.

Enjoy the Experience

Breastfeeding should be comfortable, not painful. You should feel happy in the bond that you’ve created with your baby. Breastfeeding is a unique experience and once you’ve mastered it, you will be able to enjoy it.

There will be times that you want to cry or curse but there will be plenty more times that you look down at your baby and smile just like the women in magazines.

What tips do you have for new moms who are breastfeeding their babies? Share them in the comments section.

 

Please Don’t Ask Me That!

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Without fail, at social gatherings or online, it will happen. Someone will ask a question and my face will kind of freeze into an awkward mask. It’s somewhere between a cringe, a fake smile and an eye roll.

I don’t mean to do that. It’s just, well, some questions are awkward and strange.

Please Don’t Ask Me That: The Strangest Questions I’ve Been Asked As a Military Spouse

(Full disclosure: I haven’t personally been asked all of these questions, but I’ve had friends who have been or have heard the rumors about certain questions in my decade as a military spouse.)

Can you make sure your next move will take you to (location near family)?

If we actually got to pick where we moved, I would be picking Hawaii or San Diego. Maybe somewhere in Europe or a tropical island, like Jamaica.

Unfortunately, we just get told where to go. Even when submitting a “wishlist” of next duty stations is possible, the chances of getting your top choice is laughable.

Will you be going to visit your spouse in (location near the front lines)?

I’ve heard that Afghanistan has some lovely hiking in the Hindu Kush. I, unfortunately, do not plan on visiting my combat deployed spouse while he is there. He’s mentioned something about rocket strikes and horrendous dust storms during the 5 static-filled minutes we talked via satellite phone 2 months ago.

(Spouse) is coming home soon! Will you be moving home?

I’m not sure you understand how this life works. It’s a job and we live where the job is. There is not a job in (hometown) for my spouse. So we’ll be staying at our current location until the military sends us somewhere else.

I’ve watched “Army Wives.” When are you going to become friends with the general’s wife?

Any question that tries to relate my military spouse life to the fun, but fictional, romp that is “Army Wives” will get extra eye rolls from me.

No, unless my spouse rises in the ranks to that level, Claudia Joy will never be my BFF. Instead, I’ll be socializing mainly with families in a similar status or rank to my own spouse. If I am invited to a social event with the higher-ups, it will be a more formal occasion. Pleasantries will be exchanged, but I probably won’t become besties with a general’s wife.

Please Don't Ask Me That: The Strangest Questions I've Been Asked As a Military Spouse

What’s the craziest thing that you’ve been asked as a military spouse or service member?

Why can’t I post the specific homecoming date and location or share exactly when and where my spouse will be deployed?

Let me explain it to you in 5 little letters: OPSEC. Operational Security. A handy way to remind yourself of this is “loose lips sink ships.” There are individuals online constantly looking for information about forward-deployed troops.

Posting information online or oversharing in any situation can cause these individuals to target units or locations for attacks. Sharing specific homecoming information can also invite these trolls to interrupt the safe return of troops.

Your best bet? If it doesn’t come from the public affairs officer or shop, don’t post it or share it.

I want to visit my spouse at their unaccompanied OCONUS duty station. Won’t the military pay for me to go there?

No. They won’t. Your spouse or significant other is unaccompanied and has a job to do overseas. They might get some time to head home mid-tour, but otherwise will be mainly at their OCONUS location.

If you want to visit, you’ll need to do it on your own dime. Or learn how to work the Space-A system.

My spouse is late coming home from work. Who should I call?

No one. Call no one. Calling the duty desk or his shop or his senior NCO or reporting officer is not a good idea. Instead, of just being late tonight, your spouse will be late every night for the foreseeable future. And they’ll enjoy endless teasing from everyone else in their shop forever.

Instead, proceed as usual at home and maybe set aside some dinner for reheating later.

You had a baby in Japan! Does he have dual citizenship?

OK, first: that would be super cool! Second: my baby is fully an American without any extra citizenships. The overseas bases have special privileges, which include making any children born there immediate American citizens.

Unfortunately, having a baby OCONUS does mean that registering the birth is a super long and pricier process than in the States.

He’s home (or leaving soon). Planning to get knocked up?

I mean, maybe? Anyone who has tried to conceive kind of knows that it is a crapshoot, at best. Honestly, my desire to have a baby and when and how is really none of  your business.

Your life seems so exciting! Can you give me your best tips so I can marry into the military too?

After I give you some fierce side-eye, I’ll calmly explain that this life was never my first plan. I fell in love with a guy who happened to be in the military. The end. I didn’t chase him down because of his dress blues or go out hunting for a dude with dog tags.

While there are awesome parts to military life, a lot of this is really hard. It’s not all fancy birthday balls and happy homecomings. This life is messy and hard and emotional and stressful.

But good luck with that!

What’s the craziest thing that you’ve been asked as a military spouse or service member? Post your funniest stories in the comments!

What I Love About Being a Stay-At-Home-Dad

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by Eric Gardner, guest contributor

I have had many titles placed upon me in my life, but the one I cherish the most is stay-at-home-dad.

What I Love About Being a Stay-At-Home-Dad

There will always be enormous events in life, however the really important ones happen in between these milestones.

The role of a domestic engineer is a critical position that does not reward you in the traditional sense of a paycheck so some people struggle to define its value. As someone who benefited from a stay-at-home parent and now as I fill the role myself, I understand the profoundly positive impact this position can play in the health of a military family.

My wife and I, like many others, have always placed a very high value on our family. It’s a key consideration for us as we look forward with her military career.

As military families we can’t always stack the deck in our favor with PCS timelines or operational tempos but my wife and I have always tried to do the best we can.

As our family grew with the arrival of our oldest that core consideration of family value was put to the test.

As a dual-military couple we understood the time constraints our careers placed on us. With combat deployments on the rise at the time and both of us assigned to high op-tempo units we were concerned with how that could affect our family. We had seen many couples struggle with this and talked through countless scenarios. In the end the only one that fit us was my departure from the service to stay at home.

I won’t pretend there wasn’t a significant learning curve.

The transition from leading troops in combat to being unable to get my daughter into a diaper without it being a significant emotional event was an adjustment.

You cannot help but be humbled and laugh at life when your child pees through her diaper and onto your dress slacks as you stand in a receiving line for your wife’s change of command. Your once formidable persona as a ground combatant commander is shattered by the undeniable challenges that raising children will bring.

Yet with all difficult tasks come wondrous rewards. I know how fortunate I am to be able to say, I have been present at the birth of both of my children. I have been to every birthday, every holiday meal (because I am making them) and every milestone so far in their lives. Not out of luck but because I am supposed to be.

The role of a stay-at-home parent requires sacrifice, however it also yields immeasurable rewards.

I will admit that my wife got the first word status. I guess it is more fun to say “Momma” than “Daddy” in the beginning. She shares a bond with our girls I will never have – after all she is their mother.

I have been a Girl Scout troop leader and was given the unique chance to add a male perspective to my troop. Our Thinking Day observance was one such instance. As we told the unique histories and cultural information about Italy, my Girl Scouts showed off bedazzled gladiator weapons they made for the event.

I have been a spokesman for school programming, a room parent, hosted coffees and attended the military spouse events in Washington, D.C. As many of the other stay-at-home parents know there is never a shortage of areas to help out in.

Being a stay-at-home dad has allowed me the opportunity to never take myself too seriously. There will always be enormous events in life, however the really important ones happen in between these milestones. The loss of a tooth, learning to ride a bike, doing the first cartwheel, or getting a perfect score on a test.

Life happens in a few blinks of an eye.

Being afforded the opportunity to be with my girls daily lets me see them grow into beautiful ladies and allows me the chance to bolster their confidence so they can chase any dream they have.

Eric Gardner was raised in a military family and lived around the world. Following in his father’s footsteps, he joined the U.S. Army as an Infantry Officer. Since the end of his wartime service he has shifted gears and is now a stay-at-home father. In his role as an active duty Army spouse, he has become an author. As the creator of the XIII Legion Series he has enjoyed great success, and enjoys meeting other entrepreneurial spouses as well as fellow authors. You can see more from Eric Gardner at his Facebook page: www.facebook.com/thirteenthlegion.series, and http://www.facebook.com/XIIILGN or follow him via Twitter @13thLegion.

Do You Understand Tricare’s Upcoming Changes?

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Did you know that Tricare is changing? Just when you thought you had a grasp on how Tricare works, it’s going to change.

Here are the things you need to know about the changes that are coming, when they will begin, how they will impact your military family and what actions you need to take.

Do You Understand Tricare's Upcoming Changes?

If you are currently enrolled in Tricare, you don’t need to do anything if you want to stay in the same plan.

Upcoming Changes Are Coming to Tricare

Region Consolidation

Regions stateside will be consolidated from the current North, South and West to simply Tricare East and Tricare West as North and South merge. There are 2 contractors that will cover Tricare East, Humana Military and Health Net Federal Services.

Tricare Select

While Tricare Prime will not change, Tricare Standard and Tricare Extra will combine into one program, Tricare Select. This will happen on Jan. 1, 2018.

Tricare Select will be a self-managed program with a preferred provider network option available. You will not need to have a primary care manager (PCM). This will allow beneficiaries to go to any Tricare provider without a referral.

While change is usually unsettling, some things will improve. Access for beneficiaries to network providers under Tricare Select will be expanded to include more non-cost preventive services from network providers. The treatment for obesity, high-value care and telehealth will be expanded under Tricare Select.

Enrollment Deaadlines

Automatic enrollment for current Tricare beneficiaries will take place on Jan. 1, 2018. This means Tricare Standard and Tricare Extra beneficiaries will switch to Tricare Select instantly.

Throughout 2018, beneficiaries will be able to enroll in or change plans. In the fall however, Tricare will begin an annual open enrollment time.

At this point, beneficiaries will have to decide if they want to keep or change their Tricare plan for the next year. The open enrollment time will begin each year from now on the Monday of the second full week in November until the Monday of the second full week in December.

Under the previous Tricare rules, a beneficiary could change from Tricare Prime to Standard and vice versa at any time. Under the new Tricare policy, beneficiaries will not be able to. All changes must occur during open enrollment only.

The rules for qualifying life events (QLE) will also change. When a QLE occurs, the beneficiary has 90 days after the event to change the Tricare program they are enrolled to different one. Any member of that person’s family can also change their coverage during that time.

2018 will be a transition year meaning you can still change your Tricare program anytime however.

Specific Changes

Prime beneficiaries will be able to get appointments quicker by not needing a referral for some things. Going to Urgent Care without a referral by the primary physician will be included in this.

Select beneficiaries will see a change to finances. Currently there is a cost share that requires the beneficiary to pay a percent of the total care. Under the new Tricare program, Tricare Select will pay a fixed dollar amount.

Tricare for Life beneficiaries will see their benefits preserved but the authority is there to restructure and updated them.

How will these Tricare changes impact military families?

As Tricare changes from a fiscal year to a calendar year period, military families might see a shift in money. If catastrophic caps or deductibles have been reached, now that the timeline has shifted, there will be no increase in out-of-pocket expenses during that time.

Tricare beneficiaries will be divided into 2 groups. All sponsors that joined the military prior to Jan. 1, 2018 will be in group A, which will be grandfathered in. Those who join the military on that date or later will be put into group B, known as the non-grandfathered group. There will be distinct enrollment fees as well as out-of-pocket costs associated with each group.

What actions should you take?

Beneficiaries must enroll in one of these programs or coverage will be terminated. If this happens, they will only be able to get care at a military clinic on a space available basis.

If you are currently enrolled in Tricare, you don’t need to do anything if you want to stay in the same plan.

If you want to change plans, you should do so. Before Jan. 1, 2018, dependents should make sure they are registered in DEERS. Updating your information in DEERS is a good idea.

What questions do you have about Tricare’s upcoming changes?

We Really Wish These Retailers Offered a Military Discount

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One perk of being part of the military community is getting a military discount. Sure it’s a small thing, but it goes a long way.

How many times have you asked for a military discount when you’ve been checking out at a retailer?

I love a great discount and I’m thankful that many establishments offer it. I don’t expect it and quite often I’m surprised by how many places do offer a military discount.

Michael’s use to only offer a military discount on Mondays, but in recent years this retailer has moved to offering it every day. Old Navy is now the same, offering a military discount every day of the week instead of just one. I would always end up there on the wrong day, so I am so glad they expanded the program.

We Really Wish These 20 Retailers Offered a Military Discount

Getting a military discount is wonderful, no matter where it is at.

There are plenty of retailers that offer a military discount, but there are many more that do not.

Here are 20 stores that we wish offered a military discount.

I did a bit of crowdsourcing and found that many military spouses said grocery stores. Everyone doesn’t live near a commissary so they don’t have the opportunity to save money that way. The closest commissary to me is 35 minutes away, which doesn’t seem far. It is however when you need to pop out for 1 or 2 things.

It would be nice if places such as Wegmans, Publix, Giant, Food Lion, Aldi and Winn-Dixie offered a military discount.

After grocery stores, the next most popular establishments military spouses wished offered a military discount were big box retailers such as Walmart and Target. Most of us spend plenty of time in these stores and spend countless dollars, whether on frivolous things or necessities. Imagine how much money we would save over the long run if a military discount was offered.

Along the same lines, many military families would benefit from a military discount at stores such as Costco, Sam’s Club and BJ’s. Now that’s where most of us leave our money behind. It would be nice if we left with more than just jumbo sized products. Having a military discount would allow us to go home with more money in our pockets too.

We would probably spend it on coffee though. You laugh, but it’s true. So many people stated that they wished Starbucks offered a military discount. I vote for that too.

I don’t want to know how much money I’ve spent on coffee. It was worth every penny though. Every move, every deployment, every time I’ve made friends with new military spouses coffee has been involved. It’s basically a lifeline.

Speaking of lifelines, Amazon is a real savior. How many times have you bought something on Amazon? Having Prime membership is worth the price, but it would be so much better with a military discount.

If students can get a discount and people on government assistance that have EBT cards can get a discount, then why can’t military families get one? It doesn’t seem like that should be out of the question. If they can extend a membership discount to certain groups, then they should consider extending it to the military community.

I suppose we can’t have it all, but we can dream. Some other retailers that were suggested to add a military discount include Best Buy, Walgreens, Hobby Lobby and Tractor Supply as well as many restaurants.

At some locations Best Buy offers a 10% military discount, but not all of the stores do. Walgreens is now a Tricare approved pharmacy so many military families will be visiting these stores. It would be great if they offered a military discount on products other than prescriptions.

While Best Buy and Walgreens are great, many families have taken to a more domestic approach to life, having chickens in particular, and would benefit from a discount at Tractor Supply. Tractor Supply offers a discount to farmers, but not to military families. They receive a lot of patronage from the military, so it would be nice to get something back.

It would also be fantastic if every restaurant offered a military discount. A lot of military spouses said they would really appreciate that. Restaurants such as Outback Steakhouse, Red Robin and some Hard Rock Cafes offer these discounts but it would be nice if all of them did.

Getting a military discount is wonderful, no matter where it is at. I never expect to get one and am always happy and surprised when one is offered. Some places only offer the discount to the active duty person so it’s really nice when it can be applied to all of us with a military ID card.

Did we miss your favorite retailer that you wished offered a military discount? Tell us in the comments section.

12 Days of Holiday-Inspired Cocktails

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′Tis the season of holiday parties and office gatherings. Along with the shrimp cocktails and plates of holiday cookies, now is the time of year when a special holiday cocktail can make those celebrations with friends and family something memorable.

Inspired by the song “The Twelve Days of Christmas,” here are 12 drink recipes to try this holiday season.

12 Days of Holiday-Inspired Cocktails

A Partridge in a Pear Tree

Ahhh, pears. They are often forgotten about when it comes to holiday entertaining, but they offer a nice alternative to apples and pumpkin. Together with ginger and bourbon, pears are the featured flavor in this holiday beverage that is just sweet enough to be something special. Here’s the recipe for a Ginger & Pear Bourbon Cocktail.

Two Turtle Doves

I’m not really sure what a turtle dove is, but I when I hear the word turtle, I automatically think chocolate and caramel. This drink has it all, complete with a pecan glass rimmer and topped with whipped cream! Let me introduce you to the Turtle Caketini.

Three French Hens

Even hens are fancier in France, so is it any wonder that a French cocktail could be just what you need to give your holiday party some pizazz? Here’s a whole list of French cocktails, but my favorite is French 75. You can’t go wrong when champagne is involved.

Four Calling Birds

Whether you are flocking together with family or friends, a drink inspired by calling birds is sure to please even the sourest humbug. Here’s the recipe for The Jungle Bird Cocktail.

Five Golden Rings

Be it 24 karat or 100 proof, gold for the holidays is always in style.

This one takes a little work, but oh, it’s so worth it. Take the bright, sweet flavor of pineapple and marry it with traditional holiday spices like cinnamon and clove. Served hot, this drink will warm you inside and out!

12 Days of Holiday-Inspired Cocktails

Now is the time of year when a special holiday drink can make those celebrations with friends and family something memorable.

Six Geese A Laying

What do you get when you’ve got six geese a laying? A whole lot of eggs. And while this drink recipe doesn’t actually contain any eggs, a spiked egg cream will bring back memories of yesteryear while helping you create new memories in the present.

Seven Swans A Swimming

Graceful and beautiful, but have you ever wondered what a swan who took a dive on the dark side would look like?

If you ask this mixologist, that bird would be purple, and both sweet and tart. Try a Seductive Swan for an afternoon get-together or your holiday book club.

Eight Maids A Milking

Where there is milk, there’s cream. And nothing says holiday cheer like the creamy, dreamy flavor of a peppermint patty. Here’s how to make this favorite seasonal drink three different ways.

Nine Ladies Dancing

If you’re not exactly a twinkle-toed ballerina, consider substituting killer dance moves with this killer drink. The Nine Ladies Dancing Cocktail is aptly named and just as impressive as any chorus line.

Ten Lords A Leaping

On this side of the pond you’re not likely to run into too many lords, but I imagine if you saw ten of them leaping, you’d probably take notice.

Inspired by Lord Stanley of the famous Stanley Cup this holiday punch packs a…well, a punch! Plus it makes enough to serve the entire hockey team!

Eleven Pipers Piping

Piping…piping…piping hot! With the cold winter weather, libations served warm are a must. And Hot Buttered Rum is a long-standing favorite.

This recipe makes it super easy to have Hot Buttered Rum pretty much on demand. Click the link for the batter recipe, then prepare your rum to be buttered.

Twelve Drummers Drumming

Stop and think for a moment what twelve drummers drumming would sound like. This final drink will help you celebrate the season with the kind of bang those drummers would be proud of.

Got a favorite recipe? Enter your holiday drink recipe in the MilitaryShoppers recipe contest. One winner every month. Click here to enter your recipe today!

16 Professional Licensing Resources for Military Spouses

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Every 3 years, it’s the same song and dance — apply for a new professional license at a new duty station.

It means taking all new tests or attempting to have old tests transferred. I’m hunting down test scores and descriptions from 3 duty stations ago in a vain attempt to save the hundreds of dollars it will cost for a test assessment.

As professionally licensed military spouses move around the nation and the world, it pays off big time to have some help. Use these resources to help you get into a licensed career field, transfer your license or get a new credential.

16 Professional Licensing Resources for Military Spouses

How do you find out about licensing requirements when moving to a new duty station?

National Military Family Scholarships

Did you know that you can get a scholarship for your career? The National Military Family Association has scholarships available for military spouses who are looking to advance their careers. Whether you are going to school or need a little boost to get a credential, the NMFA is here. The scholarship application deadline is Jan. 15, 2018.

Licensing Guides

If you thought the NMFA was done at scholarships, think again! They have also put together handy guides for military spouses in nursing, teaching and the mental health fields. Each guide has a handy printable checklist as well as a longer explanation to help you navigate the road ahead.

CareerOneStop

Wondering about who to contact for licensing information at your next duty station? CareerOneStop should be your next stop.

Input your profession or career into the search box, then select your preferred state. A list of career choices should pop up. Click the one most similar to what you are looking for. The next page will give you further instructions and contact information.

For example, a search for teachers in Massachusetts brought us here: contact info for the state’s Department of Education licensing requirements.

Career and Education Counseling

Whether you are looking for information about going back to school yourself or need to find a tutor for your child, MilitaryOneSource has a solution to help. Education consultants can help busy military families find solutions to their education questions. Find out about scholarship opportunities, how to use MyCAA or where to turn to advance your career after a PCS.

Reciprocity Maps for Teachers

The ideal is to find a state that will accept your current professional license without a lot of insane hoops or redundant testing required.

USA4MilitaryFamilies is a great place to turn for information about teacher licensing reciprocity agreements directly impacting military spouses. Their interactive map helps to outline the agreements currently in place or being considered.

Getting advance notice about what might be required to transfer a professional credential can change how you prepare for your next PCS.

The National Association of State Directors of Teacher Education and Certification (NASDTEC) also has a map that shows which states might offer reciprocity for licensing. This website is specifically for teacher and education professionals.

For information about other professionals, MilitaryOneSource has compiled an inclusive list.

Facebook

The original online social network has been building military spouse communities for years! Now, there are even more opportunities to grow professionally.

Join a career specific Facebook group to find information about your particular profession. Or join something more general to learn about a variety of opportunities. Either way, you’ll be tapping into a vast network of experience and education. Check out this (probably not exhaustive) list:

How do you find out about licensing requirements when moving to a new duty station? Share your best advice or favorite resource in the comments.

How I Feel When Someone Thanks Me for My Service

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“Thank you for your service!”

I’m never quite sure how to reply to this. I know it’s meant with great sincerity. My friends, family and casual acquaintances do truly mean it from the bottom of their hearts. Deep down I know that they are trying to convey appreciation for all that I have sacrificed to be with the person I love most.

After all, I’ve pretty much walked away from a promising teaching career. We pull up stakes every few years and move to yet another far away location. While my children have only known the shortest of TDY separations, I’ve gutted it out for the full 12-month experience. All of this is a lot to ask and to accomplish with (hopefully) grace and selflessness.

I know that this is what is meant when I am thanked for my service. The person is acknowledging that I, too, am giving of myself and of our family in service to our country. Small pieces of me have been chipped away with each “see you later.”

How I Feel When Someone Thanks Me for My Service © LoloStock/Adobe Stock[/caption]

Other times, I know I am standing in for my absent spouse. Without him by my side, sharing gratitude for his service feels awkward. Especially when it is then incumbent upon me to pass that gratitude along. I mean, if I actually did that, I could be thanking him morning, noon and night some days!

Instead of expressing thanks to him alone, I am included. “Thank you both for your service and sacrifice.” Our sacrifice is collective.

However, it also rings untrue to me. My service? I didn’t even sacrifice a quarter of what my spouse and others have voluntarily given of themselves.

I endured a lengthy deployment, but I wasn’t in a foxhole or FOB. I wasn’t even in the barracks. Instead, I was on my very comfortable couch at home in SoCal, snuggling my pup. I didn’t need to wipe gritty sand from my eyes or check my boots for creepy desert critters. The worst I had to suffer through was a tough bout of strep throat and hogging the whole bed.

My career isn’t what it could be, should be or would be. But I have lived all over the country and even overseas. I get to explore other professional passion projects.

My sacrifice was simply going without the physical presence of my spouse. My service is to go where the military takes us, to grin and bear it. I volunteered to live life Semper Gumby.

“Thank you for your service.”

I know the intentions behind this statement are sincere. The person is showing their gratitude for my spouse’s service to me and through me. They are honoring the dedication of our whole family to a greater purpose. And I respect that. I want my spouse to be thanked and honored for his willingness to serve our nation.

While I have chosen a different path in life, one that has required me to “give up” opportunities and expectations I once held dear, I do not serve. I have never sworn the oath of allegiance to protect our great nation against “enemies foreign and domestic.” There is no proverbial blank check, with my signature, encompassing my willingness to put my life and limbs in the line of fire.

How should I respond when I am thanked for a service I have not completed? Usually, I simply say “Thank you” and move on.

Sometimes I reply with wit:

“Oh, you should thank my husband. I can’t do that many pull-ups!”

I do not serve. I simply love a person who made the commitment to do so.

Have you had a civilian thank you for your service as a military spouse? How did you respond?

Spend Less on Your Family’s Must-Have Gifts with These Military Discounts

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‘Tis the season to give gifts. Showing your love and appreciation to friends and family with thoughtful presents is wonderful. Unfortunately, holiday giving can create a serious dent in your wallet.

Spend Less on Your Family's Must-Have Gifts with These Military Discounts

For many retailers, membership in either ID.me or Veterans Advantage is required to use discounts.

To save yourself a little money, grab your must-have gifts from stores that offer military discounts!

Stores Offering Military Discounts on the Must-Have Gifts This Holiday Season

Enroll in Military Discount Websites

Asking about a military discount at every store can take time. Scouring every online retailer’s website for military specials is overwhelming. Instead of wasting your time and gas on endless searches, enroll in ID.me. This is an all-in-one service for service members, first responders, teachers and students. With one log-in, you’ll have access to tons of great online discount opportunities. Best of all, ID.me is free.

Another one-stop-shop for military discounts is Veterans Advantage. This site has partnerships with many retailers and offers exclusive benefits for their members. It is free to join, but using many of the discounts requires a paid membership.

Note: For many retailers, membership in either ID.me or Veterans Advantage is required to use discounts.

Food and Flowers

Omaha Steaks: use your ID.me membership to verify your military status, then send steaks and tasty food to your friends at 10% off.

Hickory Farms: shipping to APO and FPO addresses is free, making it easier to send summer sausage to your family OCONUS.

1-800-Flowers: get your holiday bouquets at 20% off when you verify through ID.me.

1st in Flowers: claim 15% off your next floral arrangement when using the code USMILITARY

Godiva: gift luxury chocolate at 30% off through Veterans Advantage.

Clothes and Shoes

Nike: get your kids the must-have kicks for 10% off at official Nike stores, like Niketown and Nike outlets, when you show your military ID.

Old Navy: show your ID in store and save 10% off on cozy sweaters, fun PJs and brand new jeans when you shop in-store.

Professional Sports Shops: the MLB, NFL, NHL and NBA offer 10% to 15% off to military troops and veterans through ID.me.

Kohls: not every location offers a military discount, but it can pay to check with the on-duty manager just in case.

Babies and Kids

Disney: from holiday jammies to official merchandise, ID.me has several discount deals on sweet Disney merch.

Buy Buy Baby: splurge on the new baby in your life at a discount through ID.me.

The Children’s Place: stock up on essentials with a variety of discounts and deals when you verify online.

Crazy 8: let older kids show their personal style with discounts when you use ID.me.

HearthSong: use ID.me to get fun, classic toys for children for less.

Pottery Barn Kids: keep your child’s room functional and fashionable with 15% off in-store purchases.

DIY Gifts

Lowe’s: your resident fixer can get 10% off at Lowe’s when you also enroll in the MyLowe’s program.

Home Depot: from bathrooms to backyards, your home improvement projects can cost 10% less when you show ID at check-out.

Michaels: get art supplies and crafty things at a 15% discount when you show your ID in-store.

iRobot: using ID.me can help you save up to 15% on your next Roomba!

Jewelry

Helzberg Diamonds: put a little sparkle in your holiday season with 10% off jewelry.

Harris Jewelry: there are several tiers of specials and discounts when you purchase your special something through Harris.

Kranich’s: for those in the PA region, Kranich’s offers an unspecified military discount and promises exceptional customer service.

Zoara: military members can save 5% when you have an active U.S. military email address and use code USMILDISC.

Robbins Brothers: are you ready to pop the question? Save up to $400 when you purchase your engagement ring here.

Tiffany: don’t forget the croissants when you head to a U.S. store to pick out engagement or wedding bands at a 10% discount.

Tech and TV

Apple: Veterans Advantage members can take advantage of a 20% discount on select products.

Pro Sports Networks: get discount access to every game when use ID.me to sign-up for MLB, NFL, and NHL sports packages.

Travel and Experiences

Military Shoppers Travel & Rewards: this travel club is a free exclusive program designed to show appreciation to active duty, retired, Guard and Reserve. Military Shoppers Travel & Rewards lists special discounts that have been arranged exclusively for MilitaryShoppers members.

Sandals and Beaches: go all inclusive for winter break with a 10% discount at each of these sister resort chains. Bring the kids to Beaches or have an adults-only getaway at Sandals, all food, drink and many activities included.

Disney World and Disneyland: visit your favorite mouse at a discount when you use the Military Salute tickets. You can even score discounts on your hotel when you stay at Shades of Green or some on-property resorts.

Air Travel: members of Veterans Advantage can get deals on Southwest, United and JetBlue flights. For non-members or other airlines, it always pays to call a representative and ask about military discounts or perks. Often, military members or dependents will be allowed free checked bags and occasionally seat upgrades!

Cruises: hit the high seas with Carnival or Princess cruises at a discount! Other cruise lines, like Norwegian and Royal Caribbean, offer discounts through ID.me and Veterans Advantage. You can also call a travel agent or cruise line representative to find out more details and offers on any trip.

Bush Gardens and Sea World: get your thrills and say hello to a turtle for free when you use the Waves of Honor program at Bush Gardens, Sea World and other parks.

Never miss a military discount by signing up for the Military Shoppers newsletter. Click here to sign up today!