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Be Amazed at a Military Air Show

02/02/2018 By Kimber Green

Have you been to a military air show? The Navy’s Blue Angels and Air Force Thunderbirds both put on a great show for families all over the country.

They recently released their 2018 and 2019 schedules. If you haven’t been to a military air show, make plans to attend one this year. If you have been to one of these exciting military air shows, share this information with friends so that they may experience the fun too.

The Blue Angels are the U.S. Navy Flight Demonstration Squadron. Surprisingly, they have been around since 1946. You don’t want to miss their amazing military air show. They are scheduled for 59 demonstrations in 31 locations this year and 61 demonstrations in 32 locations next year. With this many military air shows scheduled, you are sure to find one near you. Their schedule is available by clicking here.

What can you expect from a Blue Angels’ air show?

It’s a great family event to go to. This year marks the 72^nd year of the Navy’s Blue Angels and they are sure to put on a good show. It is such a popular event that over the years they have performed for close to 500 million spectators.

At the military air show, you will not only see a dazzling performance of flight maneuvers, but you will also have a chance to see the planes up-close. You might even be able to meet some of the pilots and ask them questions. Here are 60 questions answered on their website. You might find your answer there, but you’ll still want to meet one of the pilots. They’ll have great stories because they love talking about their experiences.

The Air Force’s demonstration team will celebrate 65 years of showcasing the latest advancement in aircraft this May.

What can you expect from a Thunderbirds’ air show?

Another great military air show not to miss is the Air Force Air Demonstration Squadron, also known as the Thunderbirds. If you don’t live near a location that the Blue Angels will be performing, review the show schedule here for the Air Force Thunderbirds. This is another fun military air show that your family will love.

The show is an hour long and packed with exciting aerial maneuvers. It all begins with a drill type ground ceremony before the planes take flight. Once in the air you will see tight formations with only a few feet between the planes. You’ll witness precise techniques used by the solo performances. This really is a show not to be missed.

Both the Thunderbirds and Blue Angels have long and rich histories. Attending one of their military air shows is a great opportunity to learn about how they were started and how aviation has changed over the years. The Air Force’s demonstration team will celebrate 65 years of showcasing the latest advancement in aircraft this May.

When the Air Force’s official air demonstration team was founded in 1953, the Air Force had been its separate service for only 6 years. There were only 7 officers and 22 enlisted as part of the team. Their show was only 15 minutes as well.

Since then 325 officers have been part of the team over the years.

The military air shows have been great recruitment tools for the Air Force. The Navy uses the Blue Angels military air shows for recruitment as well. The current commanding officer hopes that those that witness the precision and dedication of the team will be inspired to “strive for greatness and follow their dreams.” Both the Air Force and Navy have been successful in these endeavors.

Have you attended a military air show in the past? What was your favorite part of it?

Please Don’t Ask Me That!

01/04/2018 By Meg Flanagan

Without fail, at social gatherings or online, it will happen. Someone will ask a question and my face will kind of freeze into an awkward mask. It’s somewhere between a cringe, a fake smile and an eye roll.

I don’t mean to do that. It’s just, well, some questions are awkward and strange.

Please Don’t Ask Me That: The Strangest Questions I’ve Been Asked As a Military Spouse

(Full disclosure: I haven’t personally been asked all of these questions, but I’ve had friends who have been or have heard the rumors about certain questions in my decade as a military spouse.)

Can you make sure your next move will take you to (location near family)?

If we actually got to pick where we moved, I would be picking Hawaii or San Diego. Maybe somewhere in Europe or a tropical island, like Jamaica.

Unfortunately, we just get told where to go. Even when submitting a “wishlist” of next duty stations is possible, the chances of getting your top choice is laughable.

Will you be going to visit your spouse in (location near the front lines)?

I’ve heard that Afghanistan has some lovely hiking in the Hindu Kush. I, unfortunately, do not plan on visiting my combat deployed spouse while he is there. He’s mentioned something about rocket strikes and horrendous dust storms during the 5 static-filled minutes we talked via satellite phone 2 months ago.

(Spouse) is coming home soon! Will you be moving home?

I’m not sure you understand how this life works. It’s a job and we live where the job is. There is not a job in (hometown) for my spouse. So we’ll be staying at our current location until the military sends us somewhere else.

I’ve watched “Army Wives.” When are you going to become friends with the general’s wife?

Any question that tries to relate my military spouse life to the fun, but fictional, romp that is “Army Wives” will get extra eye rolls from me.

No, unless my spouse rises in the ranks to that level, Claudia Joy will never be my BFF. Instead, I’ll be socializing mainly with families in a similar status or rank to my own spouse. If I am invited to a social event with the higher-ups, it will be a more formal occasion. Pleasantries will be exchanged, but I probably won’t become besties with a general’s wife.

Please Don't Ask Me That: The Strangest Questions I've Been Asked As a Military Spouse

What’s the craziest thing that you’ve been asked as a military spouse or service member?

Why can’t I post the specific homecoming date and location or share exactly when and where my spouse will be deployed?

Let me explain it to you in 5 little letters: OPSEC. Operational Security. A handy way to remind yourself of this is “loose lips sink ships.” There are individuals online constantly looking for information about forward-deployed troops.

Posting information online or oversharing in any situation can cause these individuals to target units or locations for attacks. Sharing specific homecoming information can also invite these trolls to interrupt the safe return of troops.

Your best bet? If it doesn’t come from the public affairs officer or shop, don’t post it or share it.

I want to visit my spouse at their unaccompanied OCONUS duty station. Won’t the military pay for me to go there?

No. They won’t. Your spouse or significant other is unaccompanied and has a job to do overseas. They might get some time to head home mid-tour, but otherwise will be mainly at their OCONUS location.

If you want to visit, you’ll need to do it on your own dime. Or learn how to work the Space-A system.

My spouse is late coming home from work. Who should I call?

No one. Call no one. Calling the duty desk or his shop or his senior NCO or reporting officer is not a good idea. Instead, of just being late tonight, your spouse will be late every night for the foreseeable future. And they’ll enjoy endless teasing from everyone else in their shop forever.

Instead, proceed as usual at home and maybe set aside some dinner for reheating later.

You had a baby in Japan! Does he have dual citizenship?

OK, first: that would be super cool! Second: my baby is fully an American without any extra citizenships. The overseas bases have special privileges, which include making any children born there immediate American citizens.

Unfortunately, having a baby OCONUS does mean that registering the birth is a super long and pricier process than in the States.

He’s home (or leaving soon). Planning to get knocked up?

I mean, maybe? Anyone who has tried to conceive kind of knows that it is a crapshoot, at best. Honestly, my desire to have a baby and when and how is really none of your business.

Your life seems so exciting! Can you give me your best tips so I can marry into the military too?

After I give you some fierce side-eye, I’ll calmly explain that this life was never my first plan. I fell in love with a guy who happened to be in the military. The end. I didn’t chase him down because of his dress blues or go out hunting for a dude with dog tags.

While there are awesome parts to military life, a lot of this is really hard. It’s not all fancy birthday balls and happy homecomings. This life is messy and hard and emotional and stressful.

But good luck with that!

What’s the craziest thing that you’ve been asked as a military spouse or service member? Post your funniest stories in the comments!

How I Feel When Someone Thanks Me for My Service

12/11/2017 By Meg Flanagan

“Thank you for your service!”

I’m never quite sure how to reply to this. I know it’s meant with great sincerity. My friends, family and casual acquaintances do truly mean it from the bottom of their hearts. Deep down I know that they are trying to convey appreciation for all that I have sacrificed to be with the person I love most.

After all, I’ve pretty much walked away from a promising teaching career. We pull up stakes every few years and move to yet another far away location. While my children have only known the shortest of TDY separations, I’ve gutted it out for the full 12-month experience. All of this is a lot to ask and to accomplish with (hopefully) grace and selflessness.

I know that this is what is meant when I am thanked for my service. The person is acknowledging that I, too, am giving of myself and of our family in service to our country. Small pieces of me have been chipped away with each “see you later.”

Other times, I know I am standing in for my absent spouse. Without him by my side, sharing gratitude for his service feels awkward. Especially when it is then incumbent upon me to pass that gratitude along. I mean, if I actually did that, I could be thanking him morning, noon and night some days!

Instead of expressing thanks to him alone, I am included. “Thank you both for your service and sacrifice.” Our sacrifice is collective.

However, it also rings untrue to me. My service? I didn’t even sacrifice a quarter of what my spouse and others have voluntarily given of themselves.

I endured a lengthy deployment, but I wasn’t in a foxhole or FOB. I wasn’t even in the barracks. Instead, I was on my very comfortable couch at home in SoCal, snuggling my pup. I didn’t need to wipe gritty sand from my eyes or check my boots for creepy desert critters. The worst I had to suffer through was a tough bout of strep throat and hogging the whole bed.

My career isn’t what it could be, should be or would be. But I have lived all over the country and even overseas. I get to explore other professional passion projects.

My sacrifice was simply going without the physical presence of my spouse. My service is to go where the military takes us, to grin and bear it. I volunteered to live life Semper Gumby.

“Thank you for your service.”

I know the intentions behind this statement are sincere. The person is showing their gratitude for my spouse’s service to me and through me. They are honoring the dedication of our whole family to a greater purpose. And I respect that. I want my spouse to be thanked and honored for his willingness to serve our nation.

While I have chosen a different path in life, one that has required me to “give up” opportunities and expectations I once held dear, I do not serve. I have never sworn the oath of allegiance to protect our great nation against “enemies foreign and domestic.” There is no proverbial blank check, with my signature, encompassing my willingness to put my life and limbs in the line of fire.

How should I respond when I am thanked for a service I have not completed? Usually, I simply say “Thank you” and move on.

Sometimes I reply with wit:

“Oh, you should thank my husband. I can’t do that many pull-ups!”

I do not serve. I simply love a person who made the commitment to do so.

Have you had a civilian thank you for your service as a military spouse? How did you respond?

The Myth of the Perfect Military Spouse

11/27/2017 By Veronica Jorden

It was one of those days.

You know, the days when nothing seemed to go right? My oldest had dumped a gigantic bag of beads in the middle of the living room floor for the second time that day. My youngest was way past nap time. I was dressed in my usual jeans and seen-better-days T-shirt, my hair was a mess, and I had less than 30 minutes until my husband was due to walk in the door.

My plan to be dressed, pressed, and waiting to sit down to a delicious home-cooked meal had gone out the door hours ago.

And it wasn’t the first time my list of to-dos or taking care of my children had eaten up my entire day.

I so wanted to be that military spouse who had the house cleaned and dinner neatly prepared when my soldier walked through the door.

The same daydream had me perfectly coiffed and dressed to impress. And every time I didn’t hit that goal of “perfect” spouse, I felt like a failure.

If I couldn’t do it all when he was able to come home every night, what did that say about my abilities when he was deployed?

After all, he was doing all the hard work, putting on the uniform and training to be of service to our country. He needed a spouse capable of taking care of everything at home. If I couldn’t do it all when he was able to come home every night, what did that say about my abilities when he was deployed?

After a particularly stressful afternoon that had all of my kids recovering from temper tantrums and me in tears, a close friend stopped by for coffee. She was everything I wanted to be. She always looked great. Her house was always immaculate. And I’d never seen her stress about anything.

After confessing my feelings of inadequacy, she changed my entire world with just one sentence.

There is no such thing as a perfect military spouse.

What? How could that be? There were those, just like her, who always had it together. The spouse next door who always had his kids ready and at the bus stop on time. The commander’s wife who always made hosting company events look easy.

She repeated herself.

There’s no such thing as a perfect military spouse.

The look on my face must have confessed my disbelief. Over the next few minutes she confessed to a few cracks in what I thought was her perfect façade. I felt a little better, but I still wasn’t wholly convinced.

I begged her to share her secrets with me. How did she make it all look so easy? She just laughed and challenged me to change my way of thinking.

“So what if your house isn’t perfect? So what if macaroni and cheese is the best dinner you can muster? Those things are not required to make you worthy of love and respect. We each have our strengths. Be your best you and that’s good enough.”

I sat quietly and tried to take those words in. Was it possible to be the best me without being perfect? Could I be the strong, capable military spouse my soldier needed and not be good at everything?

The answer is yes.

My belief in that idea didn’t happen overnight. It took a lot of work and introspection. It took time to learn to quiet that inner voice that told me I was a failure and give the stage to the part of me that got up every day and did my best.

I am incredibly thankful I had a friend to intervene and set me straight.

And I hope, should you ever find yourself in a similar mindset that you remember:

There is no such thing as a perfect military spouse.

No matter who you are, where you are from or what you are struggling with, you are worthy of love and respect.

Even if it means that the dusting or vacuuming should have been done yesterday.

Even if it means that PB&J is what’s on the menu tonight.

Live every day with the intent to be the best possible you that you can. The best you is more than good enough.

Are you trying to be the perfect military spouse?

7 Tips from a Military Spouse to Her Younger Self

11/08/2017 By Veronica Jorden

I won’t say I’m old, but if there was a miracle pill to knock a couple of years off, I’d be interested.

For all of my fears and frustrations about getting older, I know I have earned every gray hair, every fine line. They tell the story of a life that, while it’s had its ups and downs, I really can’t complain about it too much.

But as I watch my oldest child begin to figure out her place in the world and prepare to move out on her own, it got me thinking about myself at her age.

If given the chance what would I want my younger military spouse self to know? What imparting wisdom could I dish out to help make my future just a bit better?

Here’s what I came up with:

If given the chance what would I want my younger military spouse self to know?

7 Tips from a Military Spouse to Her Younger Self

Attend College

Less than half of American adults have a college degree. I was part of the majority without one until just a couple of years ago.

While a college degree won’t solve every problem, it can open doors and help with career advancement and employment.

Many military spouses already have a degree or some form of formal training before they become military spouses, which is amazing! But don’t stop learning. If you’re like me and on the 20+ year plan or you are looking for a second or advanced degree, utilize the resources the military community has to offer.

Programs like MyCAA can help junior enlisted and officer spouses to obtain or continue pursuit of a degree. There are scholarships only available to military dependents and there are a great many programs and universities who offer discounted rates to military spouses.

Get your college degree – it will pay off in so many ways.

Find Your Passion

As you move from place to place, a passion or hobby can make wherever you are stationed feel like home.

A passion gives you something to occupy your time when your spouse is fighting in parts unknown.

A passion gives you something to look forward to when those horrible-terrible-no-good-very-bad days rear their ugly heads.

And your passion just might be the icebreaker you need to make new friends who share a similar interest or who are interested in learning.

Learn to Budget/Schedule/Plan

Mind-numbing waiting at the doctor’s office, empty bank accounts and frantic searches for missing berets or boots at zero dark-thirty can all be avoided with some forethought.

If creating spending plans (and sticking to them) or developing schedules and plans doesn’t come naturally to you, buy a book, or take a class or print off one of the million or so examples on Pinterest.

Get good at being organized. It will pay off a thousand-fold in both your finances and sanity.

Pick Your Friends Wisely

It is all too easy to latch onto an unhealthy friendship when you feel out of place or lonely. But, sometimes those friendships born of low-hanging fruit can do more harm than good.

Put in the effort to build real friendships that last. Don’t write people off because of appearances or even first impressions.

Hint: real friendships don’t equal drama, drama, drama!

Save for a Rainy Day

Before you know it, you’ll be looking at retirement.

Or the need for a new car.

Or the desire to buy a house.

Or the desire to have a baby (or two or three!).

This lesson isn’t really military spouse specific, but it is one I wish I had learned much sooner.

Always, always, always, pay yourself first. Even if it’s just $10 a paycheck, get into the habit of putting money away. Your future self with thank you, trust me.

Buy Smart and Don’t Buy on Credit

Hand in hand with saving, be smart about your money. If you can at all avoid it, skip using credit cards for anything other than emergencies.

That $500 want-it-now purchase suddenly turns into a $1,000 burden when you add in all the interest.

Be patient and save until you can afford to pay cash for what you need.

At the same time, don’t deprive yourself of things. Go back to the lesson about budgeting and figure out a way to be smart about what you buy.

Enjoy and Experience

Don’t let the experience of being a military spouse pass you by without taking time to enjoy it.

While the challenges are difficult and never-ending, the benefits and experiences this life has to offer are second to none. See the world, taste the food, take pictures. Meet people, try new things, explore.

Learn to laugh at mistakes, empathize with your neighbor and trust that your presence in every place and moment has a purpose and a reason.

What advice would you give to your younger self? Share it in the comment section.

How I Find the Fun in Mandatory Fun

10/28/2017 By Kimber Green

There are so many wonderful aspects of military life, but for some mandatory fun is not one of them.

Mandatory fun or required attendance at military social events is not always fun.

Some events are a bit stuffy and too formal. Some are too crowded and impersonal. Others are family oriented or for adults only. They don’t always fit in with your schedule and logistics can be difficult. Still, you are required to attend and so you do.

These mandatory fun events can actually be fun.

It’s all in how you perceive it. If you go in with the mindset that you won’t enjoy it, then you likely won’t have a good time.

Next time you have mandatory fun scheduled, try to have fun. Look for the positive in what otherwise could be a time where you are negative.

Formal military events, for example, are not my favorite.

A military ball is definitely mandatory fun in my book. I don’t like all the preparation it takes. Service members have it so easy; all they have to do is put on their uniform.

I, on the other hand, have to go dress shopping because of course you can’t wear the same formal gown to multiple events. Then you have to find shoes and a handbag to go with the dress. Shopping takes all day.

Add kids into the mix and you either have to drag them along shopping or get someone to watch them. On the day of the formal event it takes ages to get ready.

Mandatory military social events can be stressful, boring and time consuming. But try to find the positive in every event that you are required to attend with your service member. It may help make mandatory fun more fun for you.

Once at this mandatory fun, you mingle with people you don’t know. You listen to the service members talk about work using all sorts of acronyms. How are there so many acronyms in the military? I have no idea or at least a minimal idea of what they are talking about. It is always shop talk.

Though preparing for this mandatory fun is no fun at all, the events usually are. I get to talk to military spouses that I otherwise might not see. I meet some people my husband works with and put a face to names I’ve only heard.

If nothing else, there’s usually wine.

Military family events can be time consuming.

You might have had other plans for the weekend but had to cancel them because this was a mandatory fun event. If your children are in sports, scouts or other organized groups, you might be driving between events. It can be a hectic day. Children will likely get overstimulated and over tired. There might be a meltdown or two as well.

Family events are more mandatory fun for my husband then for me though. He doesn’t like giving up his free time to see people that he works with all week long. I understand that.

For me however, this is fun. I don’t get to see those people or their families as much. These types of events can be stressful with logistics and behavior, but they can also be fun. I love to see my babies dressed up with the theme of the event. I like to bake so potluck events are great.

Sure we’ll be very tired at the end of the day, but it’s worth it.

Mandatory fun can be fun if you look at the bright side of it.

Holiday parties are another instance of mandatory fun that really can be fun. The bright side for me is that I get to see the look on my son’s face when he meets Santa or the Easter Bunny.

That’s priceless.

I get overwhelmed when there are a ton of children running around and our son follows in, but these events are few and far between so I can handle it as long as there’s a coffee in my hand.

How do you find the fun in mandatory fun events?

Military Families Have a False Sense of Security Living On Base

10/23/2017 By Kimber Green

Living on base brings a sense of security. Families feel safer knowing that there are gate guards and military police. All the people on base must be honest and decent since they’re part of the military, right? Not necessarily.

You never know what a person is capable of and many military families leave themselves open to being taken advantage of because they have their defenses down.

Military Families Have a False Sense of Security Living On Base

Statistics released from the Pentagon show that 6,172 cases of sexual assault were reported in last year alone.

Take for example, a Marine Corps colonel that was recently convicted in a court-martial of sexually abusing a child. He was a highly decorated service member with over 30 years in the military. He had been on 11 deployments. He was sentenced to 5 and a half years in confinement.

The colonel was living on base at the time. How would you feel if he was your neighbor? You probably wouldn’t feel as safe living on base as you did before this.

It’s as if military families are blind to things such as sexual abuse and sexual assault while living on base.

If this is the case, then you might be surprised to know that sexual assault reports in U.S. military have reached record highs recently.

Statistics released from the Pentagon show that 6,172 cases of sexual assault were reported in last year alone. That’s up from the 6,082 reported in 2015. The number of sexual assaults reported have gone up dramatically from 2012 when 3,604 cases were reported. Is living on base starting to sound less safe?

You’ve felt safe leaving your door unlocked. You might let your kids walk to school, the movie theater, the park or to a friend’s house on base.

They were unsupervised, but because you are living on base, you feel like it is safe for them to do so.

You might not have let them do such things if you lived out in town.

Even if there wasn’t the threat of danger from service members or their family members, there are others on base that you might not think twice about.

Most military bases utilize contractors for multiple services. Think about those that take care of maintenance and lawn care. Your children might walk right past these people daily.

Do you ever stop to wonder what they are thinking? Are they watching your children? Are they talking to them? Would your children know not to go with them anywhere?

Perhaps seeing them so often makes them feel safe around them and then wouldn’t have their guard up. They could easily be taken advantage of in this case.

Living on base has many perks, but you still have to stay vigilant.

Take some time and talk to your family. Make sure that they are aware of their environment. Don’t let living on base make you or your family easy victims. Teach your children to be polite and friendly, but not to be naive.

You can’t guarantee that you can prevent something from happening, but you can try. Have a family discussion about safety.

Give your kids examples of what to look out for. They might not be faced with the usual ruse of a stranger offering candy or asking for help finding a lost dog. Abusers have become very clever in drawing out unsuspecting people.

While protecting your children is extremely important, you need to protect yourself as well. There is a recent report from an anonymous survey that showed that 14,900 service members were sexually assaulted in 2016 alone. This includes every type of sexual abuse, from groping to rape. While this number sounds staggering, it is actually down from the 20,300 people that said they were sexually assaulted in 2014. Sadly, 58 percent of those that reported it faced reprisals and even retaliation if they reported it.

Sexual assault is not necessarily caused by strangers. It may happen in the workplace, by superiors or by any other service member.

It could also happen in the home. Wives can be sexually assaulted by their spouse. According to a report, 78 percent of sexual abuse allegations stem from people the victim knew.

Don’t suffer in silence.

If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and know the name of the assailant, they should be turned in. You aren’t necessarily safe living on base, as they may live there too.

Do you think that military families have a false sense of security while living on base?

I Love These 8 Books About Military Life

10/16/2017 By Veronica Jorden

I’m a reader. An avid reader. Give me a rainy afternoon, a hot cup of tea and a book and I’m golden.

I Love These 8 Books About Military Life

Do you read books about military life and the experiences of military spouses? Which ones are your favorites?

If you’re like me, then you might consider checking out a few of the following books. These 8 books offer great insight and reflection on military life.

Some have made me cry, others had me laughing. And still others have given me pause to reflect on how things have changed in this country and offer a reminder of what service to our country really means.

I Love These 8 Books About Military Life

“15 Years of War” by Kristine Schellhaas

I was lucky enough to get to work with the author of this book during the editing process. What really stuck with me throughout the entire process is the authenticity of the life that author Kristine Schellhaas depicts.

It’s a he-said, she-said account of the life of a military family starting just prior to 9/11. It shares the ups and downs so many of us are familiar with and offers a glimpse at how resilient military families truly are.