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Do I Want My Daughters to Join the Army? It’s Complicated

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by Eric Gardner, Guest Contributor

Our lives as military spouses are filled with countless decisions. As a fourth-generation veteran I understand I have a tendency to overthink certain areas of life.

One of them being – will my children wear the uniform in the future?

Now I’ve still got a bit before anything happens. My oldest is gracing the halls of middle school this year. However, I know full well how fast time can pass and before I know it my beautiful little girls will be empowered, driven young women.

Will I want my daughters to join the military of the future? To be honest the verdict is still out.

Now before this gets taken out of context, let me explain. There are some terrific life lessons that can be gained through military service.

The first one that comes to mind is making friends quickly. All military brats and active duty service members have that quality which has been honed through countless PCSes. A social grace that allows them to blend into any group and find connections that might be lost in other civilian professions.

Another lesson of military service is you learn the importance of family. Our families are the only constant we often have. Regardless of where the military takes you, your family being by your side can make your military installation feel like home.

And last but not least is developing a unique empathy that few outside the service can match. It’s one thing to see the sights of a host nation or port of call. It’s another to make friends with the locals and see the world from their point of view.

Do I Want My Daughters to Join the Army? It's Complicated

As I plot and plan for the future there is one thing I know I have no control over – my daughter’s decision to join the Army.

I sincerely hope that my wife and I are good stewards of the impression the Army makes on our girls. Not that everything is easy. Far from it, we want to ensure that our kids see that military life is passionate, full of adventure and challenging. The later part being what makes the journey worthwhile.

Now before you think I’ve got my dad blinders on, let me say just a little about the methodology to this train of thought. The one thing that I can’t stop is time. Whether it’s after high school or college or somewhere in-between my kiddos are going to have to take their own steps out into society. Their unique signature on the world will only be limited or enhanced by their experiences and imagination.

When I graduated from college to join the Army, there was a tremendous amount of uncertainty. I considered myself lucky in that while my peers felt a similar apprehension about the unknown at their new jobs, they had suffered additional stress of finding their place of employment in their field of study. My classmates weren’t exactly sure how long their positions would be available at their new offices.

I, on the other hand, had a guaranteed eight years of job security.

I think we can all agree that everything has tradeoffs. I know for a fact that my parents — my mother specifically —  didn’t enjoy my time at Ranger School. So many things could have gone wrong, from a simple failed exercise to a catastrophic accident. I’m fairly certain my guaranteed employment wasn’t at the top of either of my parents’ thoughts during the years of airborne operations at Fort Bragg.

As I began to excel as a soldier, I could see the joy my successes brought to them. Some of their excitement was a validation that their sacrifices during my childhood allowed me to positively stand out and that my future held so many possibilities.

The military isn’t forever. Even if you do 30 years there are still many chapters of our lives to write. As a starting point, the Army alone has 150 career paths. Finding a passion with so many choices is a high probability.

Even it’s only for a few years, there is so much to gain from military service.

Promotions can be expected. Equality is something everyone believes in. You get paid vacation from day one. You and your family have access to health care and you have the opportunity to see the world.

Now there will always be disadvantages and they do carry a lot of weight. There are the long hours, often hazardous duty accompanying most career fields, the stressors placed on the family, and the nomadic lifestyle is oftentimes hard to adjust to.

Yet as I plot and plan for the future there is one thing I know I will have no control over – my daughter’s decision.

To say the military isn’t for everyone is putting it mildly. A 1% sampling of the population volunteering to serve has so many demands placed on it that you need to want to be there. As with all paths of life there will be highs and lows, however the added element of extreme risk can produce some very hard days.

This is why the jury is still out. My wife and I won’t promote or discourage the military lifestyle. Our girls have a brief glimpse of what service life is like from being Army brats.

As a former brat and veteran, I know how little I understood going in. Yet that was OK because I wanted to be there. It’s not necessary that I need my children to do this.

I want them to be vested in their passions.

I want them to excel in whatever profession they choose.

And above all else I want them to be excited about their future.

While I’ve said it’s their decision I have to admit, having them be part of five consecutive generations of military members would make me smile. However, wanting them to thrive in a career they are passionate about is what would make me most proud.

Do you want your children to follow in your footsteps and join the Army? Why or why not?

Eric Gardner was raised in a military family and lived around the world. Following in his father's footsteps, he joined the U.S. Army as an Infantry Officer. Eric Gardner was raised in a military family and lived around the world. Following in his father’s footsteps, he joined the U.S. Army as an Infantry Officer. Since the end of his wartime service he has shifted gears and is now a stay-at-home father. In his role as an active duty Army spouse, he has become an author. As the creator of the XIII Legion Series he has enjoyed great success, and enjoys meeting other entrepreneurial spouses as well as fellow authors. You can see more from Eric Gardner at his Facebook page: www.facebook.com/thirteenthlegion.series, and http://www.facebook.com/XIIILGN or follow him via Twitter @13thLegion.

4 Problems Military Children Face That Are Rarely Talked About

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Shining eyes and happy smiles. This is how the public often sees military children. These joyful homecoming images are broadcast on the news, shared on social media and printed in newspapers and magazines.

While everything seems wonderful and picture-perfect, many military children face hidden struggles behind the scenes.

4 Problems Military Children Face That Aren’t Talked About

Anxiety and Separation Fears

Over the last 15 years, deployment and operational tempos have been high. This means that for many military children, mom, dad or both parents have been frequently away from home.

Forward deployed troops have been in active combat zones, taking fire. Even at home, accidents happen during TDY, TAD or routine training exercises.

All of these separations and “what if” situations take a heavy toll on military children. Often these stressors can show up in behavioral, emotional and academic changes.

4 Problems Military Children Face That Are Rarely Talked About

While everything seems wonderful and picture-perfect, many military children face personal struggles.

Children might act out at school, home or both. They could show unusual aggression or attention-seeking behaviors. Some children withdraw or become distant from friends, teachers and family members. Still other children become noticeably upset when their parent leaves, even for short periods, or when there are unexpected changes, like a substitute teacher at school. Grades might decline too.

All of these reactions are common and can coexist.

Solutions:

If you or a teacher notices a significant difference in your child’s emotions, behaviors or academic performance, take notice. Acting sooner rather than later can make all the difference.

A great first step is to reach out to the Military Family Life Counselor on your base or the school’s counselor. Set up a meeting to share your concerns with them and give permission for them to engage with your child. After speaking with your child, they might be able to offer options for ongoing solutions or care.

Another great step is to connect with Military One Source. They offer free, confidential help on the phone and through referrals to providers near you. You might be able to access mental health care and solutions quickly with this resource.

Next, reach out to your child’s school and teachers. Explain your concerns and ask to develop a plan together to help address the changes in your child.

It’s important to approach this as a team, with mental health providers, school and home working together to help your child get back on track.

Gaps in Learning

On average, military children move 6 to 9 times during their K-12 school years. Every time a military family moves, they must adjust to a new set of state learning standards and expectations. Even if a child is able to stay within the DoDEA system, there might still be small gaps in knowledge.

With each move, military children miss several weeks of class time. All that absent time can add up, with missing information about fractions here or confusion about phonics there.

Solutions:

Working with a tutor, either in person or online, is a great way for military families to help close those academic gaps. Tutor.com offers free online tutoring for military families.

Additionally, many military spouses are credentialed teachers. Often these education professionals offer reasonably priced tutoring and have a good understanding of what military children need.

School Transferring Issues

For students in high school, a PCS can spell disaster for their academic ranking, graduation timeline or transcript. Too often there is confusion about which courses are required at different schools or how GPAs are calculated. While schools are supposed to make good faith efforts to ensure on-time graduation, there can still be issues.

Students who have IEPs and 504 Plan, as well as those qualified for Gifted and Talented Education, also face issues when they PCS.

There are no federal protections and only limited state guidelines for students identified as Gifted and Talented. This means that a student could qualify in School A, but be dropped from the program in School B.

IEPs and 504 Plans are federally protected education plans that must be followed with fidelity. Even during a PCS, plans are supposed to be followed as closely as possible. However, different states have varying qualification and classification standards, as well as different resources available. IEPs and 504 Plans can look very different school to school, and state to state.

Plus, for all of these different education plans, the school has the right to re-evaluate students to determine eligibility.

Solutions:

Before you move, connect with your next school and coordinate transferring documents from the old school. Let the new school know about any special circumstances or educational needs your child might have.

As you’re transferring, connect with the School Liaison Officer (SLO) at your next base. They can often assist with transferring everything that your child needs. They should be able to assist you with using MIC3, an agreement designed to assist military children moving between states.

If you get stuck or have concerns, you might need more help than the SLO can provide or that you can’t navigate solo. At that point, it’s time to consider hiring a professional education advocate. There are several advocates in our community that specialize in assisting military families and/or work remotely.

Caring for Injured Parents

All too often, parents return from deployment with physical or mental injuries. These injuries might be very visible or they could be hidden and undiagnosed. Either way, military children are involved in the daily care of that parent and must cope with life changes.

There are many changes to family dynamics and behaviors when a parent returns with hidden or visible injuries. Too often children are shouldering a larger share of adult responsibility at home.

The stressors are similar to experiencing anxiety or stress due to deployments or separations. The symptoms of a child who is overwhelmed with coping with life changes due to their parent’s injuries might be the same as well.

Solutions:

If your family is experiencing changes due to your service member’s injury, it’s important to reach out for help. The Elizabeth Dole Foundation offers resources and connections to help caregivers and families of wounded warriors.

Asking for assistance from other families members, friends or the community is important. It may feel hard, but building a strong team is important for everyone’s long-term success and well being.

Finally, beginning individual and family counseling can be beneficial. You can find a provider through a referral from your doctor or through Military One Source’s resources.

What problems do you think military children face?

(Full disclosure: Meg Flanagan operates MilKids Ed, an education advocacy service and blog for military families.)

Community: A Dying Military Tradition That Needs to Make a Serious Comeback

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One of the things I remember most about growing up a military brat was the overwhelming sense of community that surrounded us, no matter where we lived.

If someone went TDY or was lucky enough to take leave to go home, we always made sure to keep an eye on their house or even mow their lawn if necessary.

If I got home from school and couldn’t find my key, there was always a neighbor willing to let me use their phone or hang out until my parents got home.

When I headed out into the world on my own, it was that very same sense of community I found lacking in the civilian world. It is one of the reasons why I eventually decided to join the military. But I have to say, things have changed a lot since I was a military kid.

With the rare exception, gone are the days of the welcome wagon. You know, that group of people, usually military spouses, who stopped by your house after you had a few days to settle in. They’d bring a plate of cookies or a pie and introduce themselves so you would know at least one person on your street. Then they’d share all the insider info you needed, like the best days to shop at the commissary or which primary care doctor to ask for.

Community is the best part of military life. How can we work together to bring it back?

But nowadays, we’ve given up extending a hand to those who might need a little help because it’s too much of a hassle.

We swear off spouses groups because we swear we just can’t handle all the drama.

It seems like we have given up the idea of actually meeting our neighbors and instead just focusing on how many friends we have on Facebook or how many times we get retweeted. And while I wouldn’t give up my social media accounts for anything, I really wish we could, as a community, remember that face-to-face conversations are as important, maybe more so than a text or instant message.

Community: A Dying Military Tradition That Needs to Make a Serious Comeback

Laughter shared over a cup of coffee will always be better than tweeting.

We need to make developing a sense of community and service to each other a priority.

Military unit success often depends on being tuned in, not only to an assigned task, but to the well-being of those around you. It creates a sense of team and comradely that binds a unit together.

It is an idea that I wish permeated beyond the boundaries of the FOB and into the greater military community.

It is all too easy to stay focused on your own lane, keep blinders on and just trudge forward.

But when one member of our community struggles, it creates ripples that impact us all.

A “hi” on Facebook or a follow on Instagram is a great way to break the ice, but when emergencies arise, we need to know that there is someone we can reach out to and lean on.

Over the course of my husband’s career, I can think of only one deployment where anyone from my military community, other than my husband, ever called or stopped by to check on me. And I know I’m not the only one.

There are no regulations that require this kind of community awareness, but we should take it upon ourselves to make sure that no matter the unit or location, no member of our community ever feels isolated or alone.

I say bring back the welcome wagon and the dinner brigade. Go out and meet your neighbors, organize a neighborhood potluck or cul-de-sac barbecue. Start caring about the well-being of those you pass on the street everyday. Be the kind face they need when the challenges of this life get to be too much. Be the resource they need when they don’t know who else to turn to.

Be as engaged and involved as you can be because a hug can never be replaced by a “like.”

Laughter shared over a cup of coffee will always be better than tweeting.

Make time and be open to cultivating relationships with the flesh and blood people in your community.

You may be just the friend they need to get through a tough time. And they end up doing the same for you.

Is the military community dead? Do people ever come out from behind their screens and talk to each other?

How to Work From Home While Your Kids Are Home on Summer Break

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You’ve finally settled into a perfect rhythm. Post-drop-off, you grab a quick (hot) cup of coffee and get to work. You can spend the whole day networking, creating and getting your hustle on.

Except now, school is out for the summer and your kids are at home with you. Your beautiful angels will be home all day long. Just like that, your perfect work rhythm is seriously in jeopardy.

How to Work From Home While Your Kids Are Home on Summer Break

You may need to work in the evenings when your kids are home with you for their summer vacation.

With a few tweaks, though, you can still work from home during summer break.

Work From Home Solutions: Find Child Care

Summer Camp

Behold the beauty that is summer camp. Your children will be having glorious adventures every weekday during regular school hours. You, on the other hand, will be able to stick to your perfect work schedule.

Unlike (public) school, however, you will have to pay for the privilege of keeping your kids busy. Luckily for military families, there are many scholarships and even free camping opportunities out there! And there are endless camping possibilities. From your basic day camp to specialty activity camps to sleep-away camps, there truly is something for everyone.

Even if you only use summer camps for a few weeks, this option can seriously keep your work groove in the zone.

Mother’s Helper

What if a magical person came to your house for a few hours a day to entertain your children? These angels from heaven do exist and they are called mother’s helpers.

Mother’s helper is a perfect job for an older middle school or young high school student during summer break. It’s a great bridge between being a child and being an independent babysitter. Plus, mother’s helpers usually command slightly lower rates because you, the parent, will be home.

Additionally, you will be helping another young entrepreneur get his or her start in the business world! Ask around your church, social groups or schools. You never know who has a child that wants to gain child care experience.

Enlist Your Spouse

One of the perks of being a work-at-home-parent is that you can pull double duty as the primary caregiver and a breadwinner. But you absolutely need some alone time to work or just get out of the house. Schedule some time for your spouse to step into your shoes. Then you can set up shop in a cafe with wifi to work and enjoy a delicious latte or two.

Other Child Care Options

Set up play dates or child care swaps with other families during the week. Create a backyard full of entertainment with kiddie pools, sandboxes and maybe a swing set. Or head to a playground to change things up. You should definitely use every minute of naptime and create rest time for children who no longer nap.

Worst-case scenario? You might be pulling some night shifts to get your work done.

Work From Home Solutions: Workflow Optimization

Planning

Make sure that you know what you’re doing in your limited time. On Sunday night, after the kids are asleep, write everything down in your weekly planner. Include your kid’s activities, your work commitments and other tasks to complete.

Make note of any days when you know that you might need to get work done at night. Also be sure to include a countdown to any big project deadlines. This way you can mentally prepare and plan in advance.

Batch Your Work

Working from home means you wear a lot of different hats all the time. When you’re planning your work week, try to keep similar tasks on the same day.

For example, plan to schedule social media posts on Mondays and write new blog posts on Tuesdays. Or micro-batch things, like answering emails during your first 20 minutes and then make 1 sales call immediately after.

Cut the Extras

Figure out what is the core of your business and focus on that during the school-free months.

If you are self-employed or a freelancer, this can be easier. In the summer, try to keep it simple. It might be a good idea to think carefully about taking on new projects, clients or commitments. Unless you have found a way to carry your school-year schedule into summer, your work time might be significantly impacted.

For current projects, stick to the basics and essentials. Think about what you absolutely have to do to keep going.

If you work for someone else, now is a great time to remind your employer that your children will need more of your time during the summer. Ask about flexible scheduling, like working more nights and fewer days if you are on the clock. If your schedule will be drastically altered, see if you can work part-time or be used as a backup.

Work From Home Solutions: Spend Time Together

As important as work is, cherish these fleeting summers spent with your children. Even while you maintain your business or career, schedule in lots of time for fun day trips and vacations.

After all, that’s part of the appeal of working from home, right? You can enjoy your kids’ childhood and rock your career dreams!

Do you work from home? What do you do with your kids during summer vacation?

Why a PCS Stinks for Military Kids and Tips to Make It Better

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While supporting a parent’s military career, military children are asked to leave behind the familiar and embark on the unknown. The school they finally learned their way around, the best friends they’ve made and even the perfect bedroom must be given up when the PCS orders are cut.

Managing that transition as parent can be especially hard when you are worried about household goods and travel plans.

But here is an easy-to-remember acronym to help you mitigate any of the fears and angst your kids might have about PCSing: Frame, Acknowledge, Include, Re-engage and Support.

Why PCSing Stinks for Military Kids and Tips to Make It Better

Try these 5 tips to smooth the PCS transition for your military child.

Frame the PCS in a Positive Light

Kids are so quick to pick up on our moods and fears, so even though you might be freaking out about moving to someplace you’ve never heard of, try to frame the idea of moving in a positive way.

Try to think of moving as your next great family adventure.

Talk about how moving helps your family support their service member parent and why their service is so important. Emphasize the positive possibilities like making new friends, seeing different parts of the country or world, trying new foods, and remind them that you get to do it all as a family.

Acknowledge Your Child’s Feelings

A certain amount of resistance and fear about a move is to be expected and completely natural. Make sure you acknowledge any fears your children might have about moving and discuss ways to overcome those fears.

It’s OK to share that you are a little nervous about the move yourself, but don’t stew in those feelings. Take steps to help keep your frame of mind positive.

Include Your Children in the Planning Process

Try to include your kids in the planning stages, if they are old enough. Things like having them help with your pre-packing garage sale or planning the route you will be taking as you travel between duty stations can help kids feel like they have a role in your move.

If you can, incorporate some leave time during your transition and include some quality family time as part of your relocation process. A weeklong cross-country road trip means you’ll have the opportunity to stop and see things you’ve never seen before and may never see again. Create memories that will give your family something to laugh, cry or smile about. You don’t have to spend a ton of money, there are all kinds of amazing sites across the country (and abroad) that just require your time and appreciation. A little online research can help you find those kind of places.

And while you’re surfing the web, spend some time learning about your new duty station and then daydream together about things you’d like to do or see when you arrive.

Re-Engage in Normal ASAP

This part takes a little bit of planning on your part, but it’s another way to include your kids before the move. If you’ve got a soccer player or dancer or artist-in-the-making, find at least one activity you know they will enjoy and try to get them involved right away. It will give them something to look forward to and create a sense of the familiar in a new place.

Also, when it comes to unpacking, consider setting up your children’s rooms first. The sooner you can get back into your family routines, the better.

Before you leave your old duty station, be sure you get good contact information – cell phone numbers, emails and mailing addresses for friends you are leaving behind. A regular letter or Skype session is a great way to stay connected and it can really help kids who are moving (and those who are left behind) feel a little less isolated.

Support Your Child Through This Transition

No matter how many plans we make, there will always be that bump in the road we can’t possibly prepare for. Make a point to really talk to your kids about their feelings and listen to their concerns during your transition and after you arrive at your duty station (and for months afterward!).

Change is hard. Remind them that their feelings are normal. Then make sure you talk about things you can do as a family to help make the transition a little easier.

Have a conversation with your military child about moving. Ask them: What aspects of the PCS do you think stink? How can I make moving better for you?

8 Alternatives to Putting Candy in Your Kid’s Easter Basket

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Cute little chocolate bunnies and peanut butter filled eggs are taunting you with every trip to the commissary. “Pick me,” they cry. “Put me in the Easter basket this year!”

Instead of getting your kids all sugared up at zero dark thirty, fill their baskets with non-candy treats! Here are 8 great things to grab that will last longer than the black jelly beans.

8 Alternatives to Putting Candy in Your Kid's Easter Basket

What do you put in your child’s Easter basket?

8 Alternatives to Putting Candy in Your Kid’s Easter Basket

Books

This is perfect for kids of all ages! From the touch and feel books for babies to chapter book for the older ones, everyone can use a new book.

Plus, there are so many directions you could take this. You could stick to Easter theme books with bunnies and Bible stories. Or go with a general spring theme, which opens up all those books about farming, baseball and flowers. Choose a book from a series your child loves, which could lead you into giving the sequels for other celebrations. Finally, just go nuts at the bookstore and grab anything that you think your kiddos would read.

Bubbles

Nothing says spring like tiny bubbles floating on a gentle breeze. And bubbles can keep children entertained while you hide the eggs for the hunt too. As an added bonus, bubbles and bubble accessories are usually pretty inexpensive. This means you can really stock up with different wands and automatic bubble-making toys.

Plus, bubbles are basically just soap. Which will make cleaning that face full of chocolate even easier!

Sidewalk Chalk

The sidewalks are probably clear of snow up north and it hasn’t gotten unbearably hot yet in the south. It’s the perfect time for sidewalk chalk! Kids are universally in love with chalk. They can create huge masterpieces with complex colors or draw up a quick game of hopscotch.

Kites

Spring is a perfect time to go fly a kite! Kites are everywhere right now, making it easy to pick one up. They also come in a variety of styles and at different price points. There are very affordable plastic varieties sold at drugstores everywhere. You could also go bigger and snag a fabric kite that might last a few seasons. Finally, there are very fancy kites that come with all sorts of bells and whistles.

Craft Kits

Instead of getting sticky fingers on Easter Sunday, your kids could be creating beautiful necklaces or putting together dinosaurs! There are craft kits in a variety of interest areas available for kids from preschool to college. Crafts can also help to keep everyone occupied during dinner prep or wake you from your post-feast daze.

And crafts can bring people of different generations together. Grandparents, aunts or uncles might want to pitch in when your little one starts to test his catapult kit!

Coloring Books

Coloring books are all the rage right now. There are complex, beautiful designs for older kids and adults, as well as the classics for the younger crowd. You’ll get major bonus points if your coloring books include stickers or have activities to complete. Throw in a new pack of crayons in the Easter basket and you’re golden!

Journals

Instead of the traditional blank notebook, check out unjournals or guided journals. These give you a prompt or ask you to finish a picture. These go beyond the basics of recording your thoughts and ask users to stretch their minds or think outside the box.

Puzzles

Like books, you could go any direction with puzzles. And they are perfect for every age group! There are the toddler puzzles with those chunky handles for littler kids. Or challenge your family with a 5,000-piece color gradient puzzle. There are also tons of puzzles in the middle. Pick a puzzle of a favorite piece of art or order your own puzzle made from a family photo. Grab some puzzle glue and a frame for a beautiful keepsake to hang on your walls.

What do you put in your child’s Easter basket? Tell us in the comments!

Resiliency Starts with Resources: 4 Resources for Military Kids

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Military children aren’t naturally resilient. They aren’t born with a distinct skill set that leads them to be confident in new situations, to be understanding during separations and to be grateful for this unique life.

Yet, military brats are often described as resilient. Why?

I believe it’s because of their military parents. Resilient military children are that way because of their parents. Their parents show them the ropes of military life in a positive light. Their parents take the time to listen to their frustrations about the new school, missing their old friends, making new ones and saying goodbye to Daddy right before Christmas.

But as a military parent how do you know when to apply tough love and when to hug your way to happiness? Lucky for us, there are plenty of valuable resources to help us know how to talk to our children about military life and how to listen when they want to talk.

Cool little kids posing over white background

Here are 4 resources to utilize as parents of military kids.

FOCUS: Family Resilience Training for Military Families

You’ll recognize FOCUS (Families OverComing Under Stress) by its purple materials. FOCUS is available to families in all branches of the military and its training is based on more than 20 years of research. FOCUS says its mission is to  provide “resiliency training to military children and families. It teaches practical skills to help families overcome common challenges related to a parent’s military service, to communicate and solve problems effectively, and to successfully set goals together and create a shared family story.”

One thing I love is their emotion thermometer magnet. It helps my preschooler explaining that she’s feeling “a little red” when she doesn’t have the vocabulary to identify her exact feelings.

Sesame Street Talk, Listen, Connect Kits

With Elmo as the central character, small military children can feel like another little person understands their situation. Talk, Listen, Connect is a “a multiphase outreach initiative to help kids through deployments, combat-related injuries, and the death of a loved one.”

As a parent, I really enjoyed the conversation starters in the workbook. It had a short story I could read to my daughter and then questions I could ask her. The workbook also provides suggestions and strategies to help ease the transitions during the deployment.

With You All the Way- USO

When my husband deployed, my kindergartner received a With You All the Way support kit from the USO. This kit includes a video, a teddy bear, and a deployment journal. My child enjoyed writing in the journal about her adventures while Daddy is gone.

School Liaison Officer

Switching schools can get complicated quickly for military children and their parents. Just trying to figure what paperwork needs to be submitted to a new school district in the middle of the semester can be a frustrating experience. School Liaison Officers around the world work to ease this transition for military children.

My military children are young and I’m still trying to figure how I can best support them. Do they want to talk through their feelings? Do they want to draw Daddy a picture? Do they want to cry? Navigating these moments as an occasional solo parent and military spouse, I truly appreciate the information from the resources listed above.

What resources have you used as a parent to a military child? Which ones would you recommend?

8 Signs You Were a Military Brat

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Nearly 29 years ago, I was born in a hospital on Shaw Air Force Base and started my journey as a military brat. For the next 18 years, I was dragged (sometimes kicking and screaming), through the military lifestyle from one side of the world to the other and back again. Plus, a couple of moves here and there stateside.

At the time, I thought military life was tiring, stressful and sad, especially for the “see you laters” when the military would send my dad away. But, I’ve come to realize that the experience made me value every little thing and embrace the lifestyle as a military spouse.

Besides being moved here, there and everywhere, there are a handful of unique qualities that military kids share.

8 Signs You Were a Military Brat

Photo Credit: Lauren Nygard Photography

You know you’re a military kid when…

  1. You don’t know how to answer, where are you from? Yes, I was born in South Carolina, but PCSed to the Philippines when I was 2 months old. 8 Signs You Were a Military BratAnd let’s not get me started on all the other moves afterward. Answering where are you from becomes a huge and elaborate monologue. Now, I just say Texas. That’s where my parents are and that’s where I graduated high school. Good for me.
  2. You have friends and family all over the world. With each move, our family grew. It’s so wonderful to have people that are from and live in so many different parts of the world. It gives the opportunity to learn from so many different cultures and traditions. And that brings me to my next point…
  3. You love adventure! I like to think that being a military kid gave me wanderlust. I desire and enjoy exploring and seeing new places and things. The military kind of forces adventure on you, but at the end of the day, despite how scary it can be, military life is also thrilling. Once my father retired, we still visited installations around the United States and managed to vacation at some awesome hotspots.
  4. You have a strong sense of pride. When my family settled in Texas, I attended a civilian school because we lived about 20 miles from base. It wasn’t a common occurrence to have military kids in your classroom. I was very proud and still am about my dad’s service and my mom’s support. They both are wonderful role models to me and I look forward to them being strong role models for my own military kids, when the time comes. The pride overflows to the whole military community too. Even before I met my husband, I always had that respect for men and women in uniform.8 Signs You Were a Military Brat
  5. You can “go with the flow” better than your civilian counterpart. Change is difficult. But, resilience is one of the strongest virtues of military kids. We’re young, adaptable and understanding (for the most part…). And because we have to, we learn to go on and appreciate what we have and love it.
  6. You LOVE (or in my case, loved) Take Your Kids to Work day! I know this depends on your school district, but when I was a kiddo, I loved going to my dad’s work! We got to see fighter planes in action and pretended to be a part of briefings, not to mention walk on the tarmac. How cool was that? Sorry Mom, accounting wasn’t nearly as fun.
  7. You own a wardrobe for every climate (or it’s a work in progress). Down coat, check! Galoshes, check! Board shorts, check! Tank top, check! Before we moved to Texas, we were in Utah, where the snow would exceed my height. My parents made sure to keep everything (within reason) that would benefit another move to the cold. You never know!
  8. You think homecomings are the best thing ever. I don’t know about you, but I think homecomings are awesome times a thousand. 8 Signs You Were a Military BratNo matter what, who, when, where…even if it’s just with friends you haven’t seen in awhile. There is just something beautiful and perfect about seeing a loved one after an extended amount of time. It’s the most amazing feeling in the world.

Were you a military brat? Did we miss anything on this list? Tell us in the comments section.

Month of the Military Child Photo Contest

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Dressed in dress blues for a local Daddy-Daughter Dance. Trying on momma’s boots to clomp around the house as a soldier. The tightest hug you’ve ever seen, with those small arms wrapped around their heroes’ necks. Those heartfelt moments tug at the heart strings of today’s military children.

Month of the Military Child Photo Contest

Military children have a special place in my heart. My daughters are among the nearly 2 million children who were simply born into the military life. They didn’t choose this life. Yet they embrace it. Do they do it because they love military life? Nah. They do it because they love their parent who serves in the Armed Forces.

April is the Month of the Military Child. This month, MilitaryShoppers readers are encouraged to submit photos of their favorite military child. The winner will receive a $50 shopping spree.

The deadline for photo entries is April 30. Don’t delay. Enter to win the MilitaryShoppers Month of the Military Child photo contest today.

Frozen Heart? Photos and Quotes to Melt Away Frosty Feelings About Military Life

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Do you ever need a little military life pick-me-up?

Maybe you’re glued to the news about the Homeland Security budget negotiations or you’re frustrated with the proposals to cut military benefits. Your husband’s homecoming is delayed. Again. Your hairdresser is PCSing across country. Your friend asks how your children are  handling the deployment. When you tell her it’s a struggle, she suggests your husband “leave the service so you don’t have to deal with that anymore.”

Sigh.

Despite these real-life struggles, there are many moments to cherish being married to the military. Despite what you see on the national news, there are many happy military couples. Think of that retired service member and his wife who celebrated 40 years and 25 moves. They know their love is rock solid. Think of those newbie spouses who promise to love, honor and cherish and then say goodbye as their husband goes to Korea for a year unaccompanied. Every day apart is building that rock solid marriage. And for everyone in-between, they are using the tools of date nights and frequent communication to keep their spark alive.

Here are some of my favorite images and quotes that illustrate the love between a service member and their supportive spouse. Let it be your military life pick-me-up today, tomorrow or any day that you need it.

Photos and Quotes to Melt Away Frosty Feelings About Military Life

Photo Credit: Kelly Schwark

 Photos and Quotes to Melt Away Frosty Feelings About Military Life

“Why do I do it? Because nights alone aren’t permanent. Because missing him reminds me that I’m lucky to have someone to miss. Because I am not afraid to make sacrifices for true love.”

“It doesn’t get any easier…You just get stronger.”

“I started missing you the moment you said goodbye.”

“The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.”

“Love isn’t something you find. Love is something that finds you.”

“I didn’t choose to fall in love with someone in the military. But I choose to love him daily.”

Photos and Quotes to Melt Away Frosty Feelings About Military Life

Photo Credit: Photo Art by Lu

“Love is when he gives you a piece of your soul, that you never knew was missing.”

“Tears last for a moment, but memories are forever.”

“You want to know the best thing about a long-distance relationship? Every kiss is like the first.”

You can’t have homecoming photos without those military brats. Little ones screaming, running and hugging their deployed parent always brings a tear to my eye and a smile to my face.

Photos and Quotes to Melt Away Frosty Feelings About Military Life

Does your military family have a favorite photo showing your love and sacrifice? Submit your photo to MilitaryShoppers’ monthly photo contest for a chance to win a $50 shopping spree.