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Is Saying ‘Thank You for Your Service’ Enough for Our Veterans?

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It’s become almost a knee-jerk reaction: see a veteran, say “thank you.”

These brave men and women gave years of their lives to protect our nation. Many have suffered catastrophic injuries, both visible and invisible.

Is Saying 'Thank You for Your Service' Enough for Our Veterans?

Thank you doesn’t quite cover everything that our veterans have sacrificed for the greater good of our country.

As a nation, we owe our veterans a debt of gratitude for raising their hands to protect and defend. It’s not an easy job. It requires a willingness to write that proverbial blank check.

So we say thanks.

Thank you for your service, for protecting our collective national values and assisting other nations in need.

Thank you is not enough.

While troops are on active duty, they get many services provided for them. It’s all in the name of readiness. Our troops get medical and dental care provided so that they are ready to deploy at a moment’s notice. They get a housing stipend or are allocated a room in the barracks to make sure there is a place to lay their heads. There are clothing allowances and life insurance policies and retirement savings plans. Service members have the opportunity to live or deploy around the globe.

All of this is great. You might say that these are the benefits of serving your country. Things are often taken care of or subsidized. It’s handled.

This looks almost glamorous from the outside in. It can seem pretty plush: housing, medical, dental and relocation to cool locations. To the civilian community, these are great, especially in an age of uncertain health care and rising housing costs.

It looks great until it isn’t anymore.

The thing that many non-military connected Americans don’t fully understand is what it takes to live that “plush” life. Troops agree to risk life and limb, in a very real sense. It’s a commitment, to say the very least.

Once military life is over, things change fast. There are, of course, stories of beautiful lives post-service. Veterans and their families who go on to successful non-military careers, they take international vacations and remain in good health.

In one way or another, military service marks troops for life. It’s not something you can ever truly walk away from. Troops from Camp Lejeune are feeling the lasting impact of polluted water. Troops who served in Iraq and Afghanistan are now dealing with health issues as a result of the waste burn pits. Vietnam veterans are still suffering from the results of Agent Orange.

In just the current conflicts, there are over 50,000 known/reported wounded service members. Their injuries range from missing limbs and scarred bodies to traumatic brain injuries and post-traumatic stress disorders. I say reported wounded troops because everyone came back a little bit different.

Thank you isn’t enough for those who have sacrificed almost everything.

Many veterans carry the baggage of their service forever, mentally and physically. Thousands of veterans are homeless, accounting for roughly 11% of the total U.S. homeless population. Other vets self-medicate with drugs and alcohol. They are attempting to battle back against their demons, to soothe their wounds, in any way they know how.

Once they leave active duty, veterans are shunted right back into the civilian world. Their VA health care only covers service-related conditions, and getting even those covered can be a fight. Too many veterans have died waiting to see a doctor. There are some safety nets in place to assist a veteran who may be struggling or in need of additional assistance, but again the wait could be long or the services provided are not the right fit.

Is thank you enough for the 19-year-old kid who is now missing his legs? He will carry the scars of his service for the rest of his life. His blank check, his defense of our freedoms, required that he sacrifice his limbs.

What about the veteran who is working through debilitating mental health issues as a result of her service? Is sharing a reflexive “thanks” on Veterans Day enough recognition? She might struggle to maintain mental normalcy for the rest of her life, requiring ongoing therapy or medication.

Thank you doesn’t quite cover everything that our veterans have sacrificed for the greater good of our country.

But it’s a start.

Keep offering your thanks for their service, please. It starts a dialogue about military service and sacrifice.

Saying “thank you” or asking about a veteran’s time in the military can open the door to changing the way the VA is handled. We can all learn more about veteran-specific health care issues or employment concerns.

When we have these discussions, then we can start to work together to support those who have given so much of themselves in defense of our country.

Thank a veteran this month and start that conversation.

Now it’s your turn. What do you think? Is saying “thank you for your service” enough for for veterans?

 

Military Families Have a False Sense of Security Living On Base

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Living on base brings a sense of security. Families feel safer knowing that there are gate guards and military police. All the people on base must be honest and decent since they’re part of the military, right? Not necessarily.

You never know what a person is capable of and many military families leave themselves open to being taken advantage of because they have their defenses down.

Military Families Have a False Sense of Security Living On Base

Statistics released from the Pentagon show that 6,172 cases of sexual assault were reported in last year alone.

Take for example, a Marine Corps colonel that was recently convicted in a court-martial of sexually abusing a child. He was a highly decorated service member with over 30 years in the military. He had been on 11 deployments. He was sentenced to 5 and a half years in confinement.

The colonel was living on base at the time. How would you feel if he was your neighbor? You probably wouldn’t feel as safe living on base as you did before this.

It’s as if military families are blind to things such as sexual abuse and sexual assault while living on base.

If this is the case, then you might be surprised to know that sexual assault reports in U.S. military have reached record highs recently.

Statistics released from the Pentagon show that 6,172 cases of sexual assault were reported in last year alone. That’s up from the 6,082 reported in 2015. The number of sexual assaults reported have gone up dramatically from 2012 when 3,604 cases were reported. Is living on base starting to sound less safe?

You’ve felt safe leaving your door unlocked. You might let your kids walk to school, the movie theater, the park or to a friend’s house on base.

They were unsupervised, but because you are living on base, you feel like it is safe for them to do so.

You might not have let them do such things if you lived out in town.

Even if there wasn’t the threat of danger from service members or their family members, there are others on base that you might not think twice about.

Most military bases utilize contractors for multiple services. Think about those that take care of maintenance and lawn care. Your children might walk right past these people daily.

Do you ever stop to wonder what they are thinking? Are they watching your children? Are they talking to them? Would your children know not to go with them anywhere?

Perhaps seeing them so often makes them feel safe around them and then wouldn’t have their guard up. They could easily be taken advantage of in this case.

Living on base has many perks, but you still have to stay vigilant.

Take some time and talk to your family. Make sure that they are aware of their environment. Don’t let living on base make you or your family easy victims. Teach your children to be polite and friendly, but not to be naive.

You can’t guarantee that you can prevent something from happening, but you can try. Have a family discussion about safety.

Give your kids examples of what to look out for. They might not be faced with the usual ruse of a stranger offering candy or asking for help finding a lost dog. Abusers have become very clever in drawing out unsuspecting people.

While protecting your children is extremely important, you need to protect yourself as well. There is a recent report from an anonymous survey that showed that 14,900 service members were sexually assaulted in 2016 alone. This includes every type of sexual abuse, from groping to rape. While this number sounds staggering, it is actually down from the 20,300 people that said they were sexually assaulted in 2014. Sadly, 58 percent of those that reported it faced reprisals and even retaliation if they reported it.

Sexual assault is not necessarily caused by strangers. It may happen in the workplace, by superiors or by any other service member.

It could also happen in the home. Wives can be sexually assaulted by their spouse. According to a report, 78 percent of sexual abuse allegations stem from people the victim knew.

Don’t suffer in silence.

If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and know the name of the assailant, they should be turned in. You aren’t necessarily safe living on base, as they may live there too.

Do you think that military families have a false sense of security while living on base?

How I Feel About Professional Athletes Protesting During the National Anthem

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When all this started last football season, I didn’t even pay attention. After all, it was a sidelined quarterback and he didn’t play for my team. Colin Kaepernick’s actions during the national anthem just didn’t affect me.

Since last fall, the rhetoric has ramped up and I now find myself taking sides. I honestly considered both positions.

Are these professional sports figures disrespecting the flag?

Should they be prevented from doing so legally?

They are disrespecting the military.

It seems like this line has been trotted out frequently over the last year. Many pundits would have us believe that by sitting, kneeling or otherwise protesting during the Star Spangled Banner, athletes are demeaning those who have served. I considered this view based on what I know as a military spouse.

Service members swear a solemn oath to protect and defend the Constitution of the United States of America. Part of that Constitution includes the First Amendment, which protects the right to free speech. By protesting, these professional athletes are exercising the very rights that our troops have sworn to protect and defend.

Our troops are working for an idea, an institution, that affirms our rights as Americans to believe as we choose and to, respectfully, act as we choose.

How I Feel About Professional Athletes Protesting During the National Anthem

The right to speak your mind is why my spouse signed up to protect and defend our great country. Not so that everyone would stand during the national anthem.

In many opinion pieces being shared online, veterans are supporting Kaepernick and his protest. Across the generations, active duty service members and veterans are defending the right to publicly protest, even if it means taking a knee during the national anthem.

I understand their reasons for protesting.

The last few years have seen very visible evidence of violence against people of color and other minority groups. It seems as if every week there is another news story about a police traffic stop gone horribly wrong. Or another young child caught in the crossfire. There rarely seems to be justice served.

I’m not here to tell police officers how to do their jobs. I certainly don’t know how and I can’t imagine being caught in those rock-and-a-hard-place scenarios where lives are on the line. I respect and admire anyone who chooses to serve their community and the greater good in law enforcement. But the optics are not great.

I can understand and sympathize with those who feel that there are great injustices happening daily in our country. I understand their desires to bring even greater visibility to these issues.

When it comes down to it, the protesting professional athletes are speaking to something that is affecting their lives and the lives of their loved ones and communities. And they are doing it without violence on a highly visible stage. It’s not very much different than other non-violent protests in the past.

Except that we now live in a time of very heated political rhetoric.

Lines have been drawn everywhere. Family members and close friends now no longer speak. Family reunions and friendly dinners have been turned into divisive debates. When opposing views seem to be held in our society, this is inevitable.

Mostly, I tried to stay out of this particular debate. Until I got to a point where I just couldn’t anymore. For me, that point came this past week.

I firmly agree that free speech does have unintended consequences. Private employers have the right to dismiss individuals who have used their First Amendment rights in a way that is not in keeping with the company’s mission statement. Other individuals have a right to reject words or actions that they disagree with. This, too, is part of the Bill of Rights.

With a series of tweets, our president seemed to call into question the rights of a U.S. citizen to protest peacefully. He called upon NFL team owners to fire any player that follows Kaepernick’s lead.

In short, our president used the power of his office to attempt to influence the actions of private businesses against individuals that he disagrees with.

And this is not OK. This is the line in the sand for me, personally.

As a representative of the U.S. government, our president also swears to protect and defend the Constitution. That includes the First Amendment, which enshrines freedom of speech for every citizen as the law of the land.

Freedom of speech isn’t just for when you agree with it, when it is convenient or when it follows your narrative. It means freedom of speech. Full stop.

This freedom means that the people who marched in Charlottesville, Va., have the same right to non-violent expression as professional athletes when they kneel during the anthem. It means that I can firmly believe that a silent protest to call attention to racial injustice is fine. And it means you can disagree with me about that same point.

If we walk away from protecting and defending this movement, these actions, as part of the First Amendment, what are we saying about America? That one kind of protest is OK, but another kind is not? We seem to be walking back our beliefs and freedoms because it doesn’t fit with our narrative that honoring the flag is directly tied to respecting our troops.

I see it differently.

We got where we are today through protests against injustice. The patriots in Boston showed their disgust at the tea tax by dumping it all in the harbor. Countless Quakers and abolitionists showed their opposition to slavery by assisting people to freedom. Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King Jr. and many others all practiced non-violent protests to help move our nation toward racial equality.

More athletes have joined the silent protest over the past year and especially over the last few weeks. Major League Baseball just saw its first player take a knee. Bruce Maxwell, a catcher for the Oakland Athletics, has silently refused to stand during the national anthem. Maxwell has predicted that we shouldn’t be “surprised if you start seeing athletes kneeling in other sports now.”

The right to speak your mind, to exercise your rights, is exactly why my spouse signed up to protect and defend our great country. Not so that everyone would stand and salute the flag. Not to earn unending gratitude. And certainly not to allow our rights to be trampled on.

These professional athletes are exercising their rights.

If you choose not to watch or support professional sports this season, that is your right. But you do not have the right to make professional athletes stop.

Now it’s your turn. How do you feel about professional athletes not standing during the national anthem?

Pregnant Military Spouses Concerned about Delivering at Military Hospitals

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I opened my Facebook news feed and my heart sank. The pictures were everywhere in a matter of hours. From a story that was being shared just in the military community, it quickly gained traction as the Scary Mommy website and other heavy hitters got involved.

The pictures reflect every new parent’s fears about leaving a child with another person. Thoughtless actions and careless words went viral. Now military spouses are left wondering about the reliability of their military treatment facilities.

Pregnant military spouses are questioning whether they should give birth at a military hospital.

When I was pregnant, I never thought twice about receiving all of my prenatal and birth care at the Naval hospital. After all, my insurance is fully accepted and everything would come at a very low cost or be absolutely “free.” I’ve had amazing experiences during both pregnancies and births. My nurses seemed to be attentive, kind and compassionate to me and my brand new baby.

With those photos, however, a little seed of doubt has crept in. How many other military families thought that everything had gone well? They must have believed, like I did, that corpsman would act with decency and dignity.

Instead, through the actions of 2 medical providers, we have learned that this is not always the case.

By posting these pictures, the corpsmen involved violated patient rights according to HIPAA. They shared images of the tiniest babies at their most vulnerable. A baby’s sweet little face was shared to people without parental consent. Worst of all, the infants were manipulated into poses and postures that were degrading or insulting. All without parental consent.

Expecting Mothers Concerned about Delivering at Military Hospitals

Does this news concern you? What actions do you think the Navy should take to prevent this from happening in the future?

Every time someone wheeled my babies out of the maternal recovery room for any reason, my heart skipped a beat. Yes, I had very healthy, medium to large babies. You might call them sturdy.

However, after gestating within me for 40 weeks, these moments marked the very first time that my children had been out of my sight. I worried and waited anxiously until my newborn was returned.

I’m sure all new parents, especially mothers, share this same worry. We have been in control for almost a year, and are now ceding that role to the doctors, nurses and corpsmen. It is terrifying and heart-stopping.

Now we have this additional worry: that someone will take advantage of their position to demean a newborn.

Which brings up another concern: how were these corpsmen placed in this role to start with?

Based on their behavior, in hindsight, it seems as if both corpsmen involved did not enjoy working with mothers and infants. Surely, this must have been evident before they were assigned to the maternity ward. A medical professional doesn’t just suddenly develop such strong negative feelings toward babies. A person who calls vulnerable newborns “little Satans” probably did not start out feeling warm and fuzzy toward her patients.

During our last birth process, we had the mostly amazing corpsmen. We even had one corpsman who went out of his way to include my older child in the new baby’s routine check-up. He was so exceptional that we thought he was a doctor, until he politely corrected us.

We also had someone who was a little rougher than I would have liked and persisted with tests that were causing the baby a lot of distress. After, my spouse and I wondered why that second corpsman was in that position.

Beyond the core incompatibility of these corpsmen, the lack of oversight is also concerning.

A writer for What to Expect When You’re Expecting even shared that the fake nails visible in one photo are considered unacceptable while working with newborns. Long nails and long fake nails have the potential to injure delicate newborn skin. They can carry dangerous bacteria that can lead to infections or illness.

That both corpsmen had the time and lack of supervision to share posed images on social media is also of note. Surely, someone should have been there with them or near them or popping in and out of that location. Someone must have known.

What gives me hope that this incident won’t be recurring in other military hospitals is the swiftness of the Navy’s response.

Through legal and military justice, these corpsmen should be held accountable for their actions. Hopefully, this embarrassment will cause a review of the policies placing personnel in each position. Ideally, the Navy will review the supervision guidelines as well as staff access to personal phones or devices.

It’s unfortunate that the actions of 2 inappropriate corpsmen will impact the future of so many of their exceptional colleagues. Because I personally have had experiences with amazing corpsmen. These ladies and gentlemen went above and beyond to show kindness, compassion and dignity.

However, with so many military families now questioning what will happen or has happened, during their birth experiences, something clearly needs to happen. Military families should feel secure when they are at their most vulnerable, especially on base.

Faith needs to be restored in the system. We are all waiting to see exactly how the Navy will act to accomplish this goal.

Does this news make you less likely to want to deliver in a military hospital?

Do Special Privileges for the Military Magnify the Civilian-Military Divide?

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Do a quick online search for military discount or military offer and thousands and thousands of webpages come up.

And it’s not just restaurants or retails stores, car rentals, apartment rentals, colleges and car dealerships all offer special pricing and discounts for active duty service members, veterans, National Guard and military spouses.

Add in our medical coverage, housing pay, debt relief, and educational and retirement benefits, and it’s not hard to see why some feel that service members and their families receive too many special privileges and considerations.

Do Special Privileges for the Military Magnify the Civilian-Military Divide?

Despite the stereotypes, members of the military community aren’t cheapskates. We’re not sitting at home hoarding all the savings we get from military discounts.

But even though we know more than anyone that these benefits and privileges are earned by our service members, it can be disheartening when we find ourselves in the crosshairs of public opinion.

Often when these arguments are raised, we feel like we are standing on the other side of some kind of cultural divide.

Can the average American truly appreciate our way of life?

Can they understand why these special provisions are available for military families?

At the same time, we must consider our own motivations. Are we asking for too much?

The Difference Between Benefits and Privileges

To those who think we are, as a community, overpaid and over-privileged, a quick review of the difference between benefits and privileges is in order.

The housing, educational, retirement and medical benefits are just that – benefits.

Just like any other job, these benefits are part of the total compensation package offered by an employer to an employee upon the acceptance of a position.

Yes, these benefits are funded by federal taxes, a system our community also pays into, but any American who chooses to apply and accept a position in the military is entitled to receive them.

These things are not privileges, they are earned compensation.

That being said, it is important to understand that there is a limit to these benefits. I’ve heard military spouses complain about the military not paying for an airline ticket home for a funeral or about how school loan debt for dependents should be forgiven.

While arguments could be made for additional benefits in both cases, the truth is, the military isn’t a I-want-it-so-give-it-to-me free for all. We cannot simply expect that our every need and want be subsidized by the American taxpayer.

The U.S. military is not a welfare state. We must be careful about considering ourselves to be a community more deserving than others. We are no more American than our civilian neighbors.

Benefits earned should be benefits received. Everything else is on us to manage.

All Those Military Discounts

While most businesses offering a military discount do so as a way to give back and say thank you, let’s not lose sight of the fact that it is still a marketing technique used to attract customers.

The U.S. military community is fairly unique as far as our spending habits are concerned. Job security offers our community of consumers the ability to spend more than their civilian counterparts in many areas. Offering a discount attracts customers from the million plus strong military community.

It’s no different than offering a discount to those who have student ID or are over 55 years old.

And when you consider that a lot of military folks I know tend to spend more when there is a military discount offered or leave bigger tips, any military discount is funneled right back into the economy.

Despite the stereotypes, members of the military community aren’t cheapskates. We’re not sitting at home hoarding all the savings we get from military discounts.

A Community Apart?

We are a community unlike any other in that we exist because our nation demands a strong and professional military. And while our role as citizens is unique, we must not lose sight of the fact that we are part of much larger whole and should continue to serve our country with grace and humility.

We must not close ranks, but instead remain open and engaged in the conversation about the future of this country, including its military.

After all, while long and distinguished, even a career of service in the military must come to an end. And we will need to cross that cultural divide and rely on the strength and acceptance of our civilian communities to help us make that transition.

Do you think that military discounts add to the cultural divide between the military community and civilians? Share your opinion in the comments section.

When the Promotion Doesn’t Come

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There are to-do lists, grocery lists, PCS packing lists, duty station bucket lists and holiday wish lists.

But there is a single list that can turn an ordinary day into a reason to celebrate or a reason to be discouraged — The promotion list.

The hours spent in preparation for a board, the extra PT to improve to max out points, even the completion of college classes, have all been done in an effort to jump up a rung on the military rank ladder.

And when that day comes there are rounds of congratulations, celebratory dinners and toasts to the newly promotable. Social media posts proclaim the good news, but only for those selected.

What about when the promotion doesn’t come?

Dealing with the disappointment isn’t easy. In fact, with so much vested in advancement, not seeing your service member get the promotion you know they deserve can be downright depressing. But like so many other things in life, the right perspective can help take away the sting.

When the Military Promotion Doesn't Come

Enduring these moments of disappointment can strengthen your marriage.

Go Ahead and Vent

Feelings of disappointment, frustration and anger are normal and natural. Promotions are a big deal and feeling like your service member got passed over is never a pleasant feeling.

Sometimes you just need to let it out. Disappointment internalized can become bitterness and resentment, 2 emotions that are contrary to a military team environment.

It’s OK to express those feelings, just be cognizant of where and to whom you share them with. Avoid long rants on social media or outbursts in front of those who were selected.

If you can, find something constructive to do with all that negative energy. Clean your house, go for a run, bake up a storm, do whatever will help to take your mind off things for a while. Give yourself time to process all of those feelings, but then make sure you focus on something else.

Fixating on disappointment isn’t healthy. If you feel like your service member isn’t handling it well or dwells on those negative feelings for too long, make sure you reach out for help. Chaplains are a good place to start, but all military installations have mental health services readily available for service members and their families.

Be a Support System

Enduring these moments of disappointment can strengthen your relationship.

I can’t tell you how many times my spouse or other service members were sure to get a promotion, only to find their names missing from the list. Military services promote for positions they need to fill and sometimes the needs for one MOS or specialty is higher than another.

Promotions can sometimes feel quite arbitrary, and even deserving service members don’t get selected.

A conciliatory night out or a special dinner to show them how much you appreciate them might be in order. Just try to keep it lighthearted and positive. Remind them of all of the great things they have accomplished thus far.

Congratulate Those Who Made the List

Be graceful and congratulate those who did get selected for promotion. Our community is too small to let promotions affect our friendships and relationships. And next time, it might be you receiving the congratulations while someone else is left with the disappointment.

Remember that lack of promotion is not a demotion.

With so much energy focused on getting promoted, sometimes it’s easy to forget that just because you didn’t get promoted doesn’t mean that his or her military career is over. There are still opportunities for training that could see an increase in pay and potentially make selection for promotion the next time a shoo-in.

Start Preparing for Next Time

While there’s not a ton a military spouse can do to help a service member prepare for next time, try to be considerate and encouraging.

Volunteer to help quiz them for the board.

Be understanding when they stay an extra 30 minutes at the gym or sign up for training that looks good on their official record.

And most importantly, encourage them to keep at it.

How have you handled the disappointment when your spouse was not selected for promotion? Tell us about it in the comments section.

My Thoughts on the Global War on Terror Memorial

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President Donald Trump recently signed a bill approving the construction of a national memorial, the Global War on Terror Memorial, which will honor those who have fought and died in Iraq and Afghanistan since 2001.

The bill to establish the national memorial was sponsored by Sens. Joni Ernst, R-Iowa, an Army veteran of the Iraq War, and Joe Manchin, D-West Virginia in the Senate.

Reps. Mike Gallagher, R-Wisconsin, and Seth Moulton, D-Massachusetts were the bill’s sponsors on the House side. Both are Marine Corps veterans of the Iraq War.

My Thoughts About the Global War on Terror Memorial

The Global War on Terror Memorial Foundation hopes to unveil its memorial by 2024. 

This bill does not select a location for the Global War on Terror Memorial, but it authorizes its site as somewhere on “federal land in the District of Columbia.” Organizers are hoping for a spot on the National Mall.

The memorial will be 100% privately funded through donations raised by the Global War on Terror Memorial Foundation. The estimated cost of construction is $40 million.

What will the Global War on Terror Memorial look like?

Now that the memorial has been approved by Congress and the president, the memorial’s organizers are working on its design. So far, they have announced that the memorial will include 6 themes: endurance, sacrifice, all-volunteer, global, multicultural and unfinished.

My Thoughts About the 6 Themes for the Global War on Terror Memorial

Endurance. Endurance is National Guard soldiers who served 18 months in Iraq and sometimes stayed longer because their deployment was extended for a second time.

Endurance is Marines who served back-to-back deployments, hopping between Iraq and Afghanistan.

Endurance is military spouses who lose track of how many times their spouse has left and returned home.

Endurance takes strength, determination and a faith in the fight.

Sacrifice. More than 7,000 service members have died in the Global War on Terror and more than 52,000 have been wounded. I don’t know how you show the sacrifice on these Americans in a memorial.

In the military community, we all know at least one name. A name that is forever etched in our hearts and our minds. We remember that name along with a date on the calendar. It’s the day of their death. The day that we solemnly remember their life and their sacrifice.

All-Volunteer. More than 2.5 million Americans are estimated to have been deployed in support of the Global War on Terror. Some of these service members were already in the military in 2001. Many were not.

These service members were children when the 9/11 attacks happened. They saw the news on television when they were 10, 12 or 14 years old. Those images stuck with them so that when they turned 18 years old, these men and women raised their right hands and took an oath to serve and protect our nation.

Global. This war has taken our service members to places that I couldn’t pick out on a map before 2001. We know about Iraq and Afghanistan, but what about Kenya, Djibouti and Kuwait?

Multicultural. The diversity of today’s all-volunteer Armed Forces makes my heart swell with pride. As a military spouse, I’m humbled when I meet service members from different races, cultures and economic backgrounds. They are American Indians from Oklahoma, men from the Philippines and women from Miami.

Unfinished. Organizers said the “unfinished” theme has 2 meanings.

First, it reminds us that this ongoing war is still taking place around the globe. The second reason points to the continued personal conflicts of our veterans when they return home.

I couldn’t have said it better myself. There is no end in sight for this war at home and around the world.

The Global War on Terror Memorial Foundation hopes to unveil its memorial by 2024. You can make a donation by visiting the foundation’s website.

What are your thoughts on the Global War on Terror Memorial?

Commissary to Expand Online Ordering Program…Soon

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Picture this. You’ve just returned from a much-needed (and well-deserved) vacation. The fridge is bare. The pantry is nothing but dusty, empty shelves. You’ve got enough laundry to clothe a small village, a stack of mail the size of the Chrysler building and all you can think is, ” I need a vacation from my vacation.”

As you sit trying to muster up the energy to take care of your suitcase, you glance over at the kitchen and your oldest is standing in front of the refrigerator, doors open, eyeballing a stick of butter. Your spouse is rummaging through kitchen cabinets, mumbling something under his breath about starvation. After several unsuccessful deep drawer raids, he turns, holding up a packet of soy sauce and a bag of crushed cracker bits before declaring the obvious.

“We need to go to the commissary.”

And while a trip to the commissary promises everything you need to keep your family fed, the thought of navigating the aisles and elbowing for position in line sounds about as much fun as a root canal.

If only the commissary offered the option to shop online.

If only you could let your fingers do the walking and send in a list of your must-haves for the week.

If only someone would gather all of the things you need, bag ’em up and have them waiting for you when you got there.

Does such a magical service exist? Could “going to the commissary” ever really be as easy as pulling up to the curb and popping the trunk?

Commissary to Expand Online Ordering Program

There aren’t definitive start dates for the online ordering program expansion yet, but the idea already has lots of people looking forward to the option.

If DeCA follows through on plans to expand their curbside pick-up services, you might just be in luck.

Currently, the commissary curbside pick-up program, called Click2Go, is only offered at 3 stateside commissaries. But, as part of DeCA’s continuing efforts to keep the commissary system operational and moving toward sustainability, this convenient service may be coming to a commissary near you soon.

Folks at Fort Lee, Offutt Air Force Base and Travis Air Force Base already know the ins and outs of the Click2Go program. Launched in 2013, the original pilot program was only supposed to last for one year. But due in large part to the astounding positive reception, the program was extended at those 3 locations indefinitely.

Initially intended to help encourage shoppers under 35 to use the commissary more often, the program saw success with older shoppers as well, proving convenience really doesn’t have an age limit. Almost all products available in the commissary are available on Click2Go, including items from health and beauty, deli, freezer and meat/seafood departments.

Currently, the program charges no fees, has no minimum purchase requirement and no tip is required for Click2Go employees.

Can you use coupons? You bet. Payment is tendered at pick-up so you can take advantage of both coupons and sale prices.

Better yet, you can shop 24 hours a day and pick from a list of available pick-up times most convenient for you. You can even place an order up to 6 days in advance.

There are no definitive dates on the expansion and there is already talk of charging a small fee for the service (much like at grocery chains across the country), but the idea already has lots of people looking forward to the option.

Just think, in the near future, instead of trying to figure out how to make a meal out of ketchup, stale corn flakes and pickles, you can use that 2-hour layover to place an order, and just swing by the commissary on your way home.

What do you think of DeCA’s plan to expand the online ordering program at the commissaries? Would you use it?

Why Tricare Doesn’t Want High-Risk Pregnant Military Spouses Living in Some Overseas Locations

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Welcoming a new baby to your family should be one of the happiest times in your life. Some pregnant military spouses are feeling extra stress as they face delivering their babies away from their partners.

Under new guidelines from the Tricare Overseas Program contractor, SOS Government Services, some mothers-to-be may be forced to leave certain overseas locations due to high-risk pregnancies. For expectant mothers getting ready to PCS, their travel may be delayed until after their baby arrives. Tricare has stated that this is not a new policy but reflects the ongoing assessment of the local health care facilities by the contractor.

Why Tricare Doesn't Want High-Risk Pregnant Military Spouses Living in Some Overseas Locations

Mothers-to-be who become high-risk pregnancies while already at an OCONUS duty station have options.

Several OCONUS duty stations, like Bahrain and El Salvador, have been included in this guidance. SOS Government Services has determined that the local standard of care is not equivalent to the United States. There is not on-base maternity care available at these locations.

Other duty stations include New Delhi; Madagascar; Jakarta, Indonesia; La Paz, Bolivia; Kosovo; Qatar; Georgia; Suriname; and Chad. Other locations may be added or removed based on the changing status of health care standards in a particular place.

What is “high-risk?”

High-risk pregnancies are determined based on many factors. Often maternal age plays a role in moving a pregnancy into the high-risk category. Other factors could include gestational diabetes, other pregnancy complications, expected delivery complications or anticipated needs of the newborn based on prenatal screenings.

Military spouses who are determined to be at high-risk before they arrive in an identified duty station may stay behind until after the baby is born. Once mother and child are both medically cleared, the family can be reunited. Active duty military members could possibly have accompanied orders converted to shorter unaccompanied orders on a case-by-case basis.

Mothers-to-be who become high-risk while already at a duty station also have options. One option is “stork nesting” at a military facility of Tricare’s choosing. This could be a medical facility in the United States or one at an approved OCONUS location.

Another option would be returning to the U.S. to be near family until the baby arrives. In both cases, the travel and other expenses would be paid for.

Women who become high-risk after they are no longer able to travel will be relocated with a civilian air ambulance.

Active duty military who are identified as high-risk should consult with their command and medical practitioner. All parties should work together to determine what is best for mother and baby. Options could include expanded medical leave or an early permanent change of station.

Complications and confusion

While the policy is intended to facilitate a healthy delivery, pregnancy is not always predictable. Many textbook pregnancies end in complicated deliveries. Some newborns have unexpected health needs that must be immediately addressed. The guidance is less clear about what would happen in those cases. There is no official document that charts these possibilities or provides guidance for mothers-to-be about their options.

This becomes especially confusing when considering the guidance about seeking care in the local community. Some clinics on-base in the identified locations do refer mothers-to-be to providers in the local community.

However, Tricare has issued guidance that this care will not be covered under Tricare Prime, Tricare Prime Remote Overseas or Tricate Prime Overseas. No guidance about billing or Tricare eligibility has been issued should a normal pregnancy end with a complex birth or a baby with health concerns.

There is also no official documentation about spouses joining their pregnant partners at the selected birthing location.

This has left many military spouses confused and uncertain about their options and possible outcomes. While the health of mother and baby is always most important, pregnancy can and does change minute to minute.

What do you think of the policy to not allow high-risk pregnant military spouses to live in certain areas? Tell us in the comments.

Why Military Spouses Should Learn Rank Structure

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As military spouses we are called upon to learn a great deal. We have to learn to decipher a veritable dictionary of acronyms. Things like PCS, TDY and LES fast become part of our regular vocabulary. We learn what to do when the bugles play “Reveille,” “Retreat” and “Taps” and to stand anytime we hear the National Anthem. We learn to carry our military IDs at all times and how to navigate the intricacy of Tricare regulations. Our new secret superpower becomes the ability to find a left boot or cover at o’dark-thirty in the morning.

All new military recruits learn not only the names of the ranks, but the name of every person in their chain of command all the way up to the Commander in Chief before they finish basic training. If they can do it while learning the dozens and dozens of other things involved with being a professional soldier, sailor, airman or Marine, then we can certainly find the time to learn too.

Why Military Spouses Should Learn Rank Structure

Rank and responsibility don’t stop just because a service member takes off his or her uniform for the day. Understanding that rank often dictates social behavior during off-duty hours is also important.

Why Military Spouses Should Learn Rank Structure

Learning the Rank Structure Demonstrates an Interest in Your Spouse’s Career

Just like learning that a GI Party isn’t something to look forward to or that some promotions require extra training, learning the rank structure of our spouse’s branch gives us a better idea of the environment our spouses work in. Just like in a large corporation or civilian company, understanding the chain of command means you get it when your spouse talks about reporting to the First Sergeant or training with the Master Chief.

Knowing the difference between junior enlisted, senior NCO and commanding officer, is important for understanding career progression and responsibilities.

Plus, becoming familiar with ranks and their respective insignia shows your spouse you care about their career and are invested for the long haul, however long that may be. Few members of military leadership expect or require military spouses to understand rank, but it can only reflect well on your service member if you use your newly learned skills to expertly navigate the next unit event.

It’s A Matter of Protocol

I think most seasoned military spouses would agree that because we don’t wear the uniform, and hence don’t wear the rank of our service member spouses, that we should treat all members of our community with an equal amount of respect.

However, there are instances when understanding rank and insignia is important. Say, for example, when attending a military formal event. Part of the event generally includes a receiving line. Recognizing rank insignia helps you call the right person “Ma’am” or “Sergeant Major,” even if you have never met them before. Imagine the awkwardness that might ensue should a spouse unwittingly call a Master Sergeant “sir” or a general officer “private.”

It Helps You Navigate the Military Community

Rank and responsibility don’t stop just because a service member takes off his or her uniform for the day. Understanding that rank often dictates social behavior during off-duty hours is also important. For example, while spouses aren’t limited by regulation on who they can socialize with, military service member interactions are often governed by regulation.

If a spouse doesn’t understand rank structure and fraternization rules, a continued refusal for dinner from a neighbor might be taken as a slight, when in actuality, the decline is a result of unit, installation or service policy.

Understanding rank structure also helps keep you from earning an earful or ticket because you parked in the rank-specific reserved parking spots at the commissary. Plus, knowing whether your spouse is enlisted or officer can also save you an afternoon of baking for the wrong spouses’ support group.

Now it’s your turn: Do you think that military spouses need to understand military rank? Why or why not?