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Should Military Spouses Tag Along on TDYs?

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After 18 years as a military spouse, I’ve lived through my share of service-connected separations. Be it multi-month deployments or weeks-long TDYs, separations are a part of military life.

Some military spouses, especially those new to this lifestyle, often struggle with the idea of separation, even for a short period of time.

And while deployments don’t allow military spouses to visit troops in country, many spouses do make the decision to follow their service member while they are on temporary duty.

I certainly appreciate the desire to be near your spouse, especially when a separation comes after basic training or in conjunction with a PCS to a new duty station.

Should Military Spouses Tag Along on TDYs?

Few military spouses have the luxury of packing a bag and hitting the road. If you plan to follow your service member on temporary duty, you’ll need lots of lead time to prepare.

But before you pack a bag and make a long-term hotel reservation, here are a few things to consider.

Your Service Member’s Free Time May Be Limited

A TDY typically involves some kind of training or special mission requirements. As such, a service member’s free time may be limited or they might be restricted to the duty station or facility. They may also work odd hours or have homework that limits the amount of free time they have outside of work.

So what does that mean? You might find yourself sitting in a hotel room in a town you’ve never been to before with no spouse to keep you company and zero support network.

If you are prepared for the possibility of spending a lot of time alone, make sure you have something to focus your time and energy on in between the sporadic visits from your spouse. You may want to take an online class, write a book or volunteer for a local nonprofit organization.

Planning Ahead Is a Must

Few of us have the luxury of packing a bag and hitting the road. If you plan on following your service member on temporary duty, you’ll need lots of lead time to prepare.

If the TDY is in conjunction with a PCS, you may need to give notice to terminate a lease and schedule a household goods pack-out.

Reservations at many hotels around busy military installations may be limited or long-term stays and temporary or short-term rental properties may not always be available. If you have pets, availability may be limited even further.

It is tempting to throw caution to the wind and figure it out as you go. But consider the extra strain and stress on a service member if you are unable to secure living arrangements.

Training and focusing on the mission becomes infinitely harder if you are worried about your spouse sleeping in your car.

If you make the decision to accompany your spouse, don’t leave the planning to the last minute. Plan to have a conversation about expectations. Try to talk to other service members about services and facilities available for a short-term relocation. Have a plan B in the event that a 3-week course suddenly becomes 6 weeks.

TDY Life May Be Costly

Perhaps the biggest consideration for a short-term relocation for military spouses is budget. Can you afford to quit your job or take a leave of absence, for the duration of the TDY?

Don’t forget that you may find additional costs associated with living out of your suitcase. If your living arrangements don’t include a kitchen or a washer and dryer, make sure you include those costs into your monthly budget.

The seasoned spouse in me wants to tell my fellow military spouses contemplating one of these temporary relocations to reconsider.

That the potential strain to relationships and budgets aren’t worth the occasional opportunity to see your spouse. That being alone in a new place without the benefit of a unit to turn to in times of need is time better spent in a familiar place or with family.

But instead, I will simply say this — Military life affords us ample opportunities for adventure and promises countless nights will be spent counting down to a reunion.

Separations are never easy, but we can and do learn to persevere through them. We must each make decisions about what is best for us and our families. If you decide this kind of move is right for you, be smart about your reasons and be fair in your expectations.

Have you ever moved to a location temporarily while your service member was conducting training or a short assignment there?

Repay Your Enlistment Bonus? No Way!

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Enlistment bonuses are the pot of gold in military life. Not everyone gets them. If your solider is offered one, count yourself lucky and take it. Don’t ask any questions. Just take that money and use it to pay off your debts or buy a house.

That’s the opinion among many service members when it comes to an enlistment bonus. It’s free money. Take it or leave it. But it would be smarter to take the enlistment bonus.

Repay Your Enlistment Bonus? No Way!

Enlistment bonuses are the pot of gold. You are lucky if you find one.

That’s why when the Los Angeles Times reported that nearly 10,000 soldiers with the California Guard were ordered to repay their enlistment bonuses, many like myself were thinking “repay? no way.”

Here’s what happened.

During the no-end-in-sight wars in Afghanistan and Iraq in the mid-2000s, the Defense Department struggled to retain service members and meet recruiting numbers. To combat this shortfall, cash incentives, similar to a sign-on bonus in the civilian sector, were given to service members.

But not every service member. Only soldiers with certain assignments – for example, intelligence, civil affairs and some noncommissioned officer posts – were supposed to get bonuses, according to the Los Angeles Times’ article.

But an investigation, which was triggered by a whistleblower, found that California Guard officials mismanaged their enlistment bonus funds. They gave enlistment bonuses to soldiers who didn’t qualify for them.

This investigation lead to an audit of the enlistment bonuses given to California Guard soldiers. This audit lead to nearly 10,000 soldiers being notified that they needed to pay back their bonuses. They didn’t have a choice. They were ordered to pay back this money.

It wasn’t their fault that this money was mismanaged. They didn’t do anything wrong. Yet, they were ordered to pay back their enlistment bonuses.

Many did. They refinanced their homes or took a second job so that they could pay back the thousands that they now owed the federal government.

Many tried to fight the order to repay. They filed appeals and got nowhere until the Los Angeles Times’ article went viral.

Only then did something happened for these veterans.

Rep. Duncan Hunter called the repayment demand a “boneheaded” move. President Obama ordered the Defense Department to “speed up a review of its attempt to recoup enlistment bonuses from National Guard members and to ensure that the Pentagon doesn’t ‘nickel and dime‘ them,” according to the Washington Times.

Defense Secretary Ash Carter ordered the Pentagon to halt its attempts to reclaim these enlistment bonus. He also promised to resolve all the cases by July 1, 2017.

“While some soldiers knew or should have known they were ineligible for benefits they were claiming, many others did not,” Carter said in a statement.

What happens next?

More investigating.

More number-crunching.

More hand-wringing.

Do I believe that thousands of soldiers will be allowed to keep their enlistment bonuses that on paper they didn’t earn because of the fraudulent actions of a few?

Honestly I don’t.

Enlistment bonuses are the pot of gold. You are lucky if you find one.

What happens if you stumble upon one by mistake?

You don’t get to keep it.

Now it’s your turn: What do you think of this enlistment bonus scandal and repayment order to thousands of California Guard soldiers?

Millennials: the Next Generation Called to Serve

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As Veterans Day approaches, we will begin to pay tribute to those who have nobly served our country. We will recall the bravery of the men and women who answered the call to arms in previous generations and those who have recently departed from service. Included in those numbers, are a surprising number of millennial veterans.

4 Surprising Things About Millennials in the Military

This newest generation of service members, millennials, has a lot to offer the Armed Forces.

Born between 1985 and 2000, the millennial generation is now the largest segment of the American population. They also encompass the greatest number of those currently serving in our Armed Forces.

The millennial generation, who came into adulthood amidst iPhones, Harry Potter and social media, is often stereotyped as lazy, narcissistic and entitled.

But as a mother of 2 millennials, I beg to differ with these stereotypes. Here’s what this newest generation of service members has to offer the Armed Forces.

4 Surprising Things About Millennials in the Military

They Know the Importance of Service

Millennials are driven to do meaningful work and are unlikely to pursue a career they don’t feel drawn to. They are unlikely to pursue careers just because of salary or position. They want to go home at the end of the day knowing the work they’ve done meant something.

When the United States suffered the terrorist attacks on 9/11/2001, millennials answered the call to service in massive numbers. According to the 2014 American Community Survey conducted by the U.S. Census, in 2014 there were 1.7 million veterans under age 35.

Six out of the 11 service members awarded the Medal of Honor for service in Afghanistan were millennials.

And with current millennial service member ranks totaling 2.5 million, the number of veterans from that generation will only continue to grow. If we let their service track record speak for them, dedicated should be added to the list of generational attributes.

They Thrive in Team Environments

Ask any service member to list key attributes of unit success and teamwork will be at the top of that list. Perhaps greater than any generation before them, millennials understand the importance of teamwork. Most tend to consider their co-workers as a second family. They look to each other, those in charge, and subordinate to them for ideas to solve complex problems.

Within this team environment, millennials are eager to lead if given the chance, but don’t assume they always know best. In fact, the majority of millennials understand the importance of drawing from the experience of leadership and place a high level of importance on mentorship.

That being said, the “it’s the way we’ve always done it” argument is often met with resistance. Millennials want to know that the way things are being done is the best and most efficient way to do it, even if that means changing a steadfast process.

They are “the Most” Generation

Modern military service has long touted the benefit of education and encouraged service members to pursue various degrees.

The millennial generation is the most educated generation in American history. In 2013, nearly half of those aged 25-35 possessed a bachelor’s degree and nearly 20% have a master’s degree or higher.

Hand in hand with their drive for education, this generation also faces the greatest amount of student debt. This is a factor that leads many to examine military service as an option for providing both a meaningful and a stable work environment.

Millennials are also the most ethnically and racially diverse generation of the modern era. They are also the most open to social change and are unlikely to see gender or sexual orientation as a barrier or hindrance to service.

They Love Technology

Modern warfare is dramatically different from the open trenches and massive land invasions of the two World Wars. From logistics to weaponry, administration to communication, technology is the driving force in our military’s superiority.

Millennials were practically born with a mouse in their hands – their ability to adapt and accept new technology is the foundation of how they interact with the world.

By 2020, one in 3 American adults will be a part of the millennial generation. Their influence is growing and will continue to have an influence on our society. Their impact on everything from the economy and industry to the structure of the American family and American dream will be prevalent for the next 60 years.

And from where I’m sitting, they’ve more than proven they are ready to take on that responsibility. We just have to be willing to let them do things their way, even if means trying something new.

What would you add to this list of surprising things about millennial veterans?

Expect to See More Cuts to MWR Programs

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Morale, Welfare and Recreation (MWR) is a huge part of military family life. MWR programs in different branches provide much needed support and services to service members and their families.

MWR typically provides staffing and funding for libraries, pools, arts and crafts centers, woodworking shops and auto hobby centers. Other support programs include sports and recreation programs for adults and children. This could include team sports and physical fitness centers on many bases. MWR also funds on-base child development centers (CDC), youth center, teen center and other youth programs.

There will be a $105 million cut in the Army MWR budget in FY 2017.

This is in addition to a separate 23% workforce reduction over 2 years in Army Community Service Centers. These cuts could result in the closure of some facilities and programs. In addition, the budget cuts could result in hours being reduced or fees increased. Army soldiers and their families are the most impacted by these cuts. The cuts took effect on October 1.

The garrison commander will determine how cuts are applied at each base. This means that services and resources impacted will be varied by location. Army families should expect to feel the effects in calendar year 2017.

Army officials, including Lt. Gen Kenneth R. Dahl of Army Installation Command Management, have committed to maintaining CDC funding.

Many Army posts have already been readjusting services and programs for the last 5 years. Some bases have been working to offset costs through investing in programs. The investments ensured that the programs were either profitable or breaking even. Those that did not meet this benchmark were removed or totally revamped.

Outdoor recreation, arts and crafts, and auto skill shops are most likely to be affected by these cuts. Fitness centers could also see reduced hours and staffing.

Volunteers may be able to staff some programs. However, the program structure would need to allow volunteer support. This would allow some services to continue operating, even with the budget cuts.

The cuts should not affect remote or isolated duty stations where comparable services are not available off-base.

Four Army posts should expect to see impacts from the MWR cuts in the near future.

Expect to See More Cuts to MWR Programs

Is your military base impacted by MWR program cuts?

Fort Carson, Colorado:

The 4th Infantry Division will continue to provide staffing coverage for gyms and fitness centers. There will be slight, $1 or less, increase in fees for some programs. The Friday Night Date and Caring Saturday programs are also slated to be reduced. MWR funds both programs. Programs that are costly or have low turn-out are also on the chopping block.

Fort Huachuca, Arizona:

MWR is cutting $500,000. Ammo sales and weapon rentals will stop at the Sportsman’s Center. Skeet and trap shooting, plus Saturday Range 3, will still be available for people who bring their own weapons. There is no word about additional cuts.

Fort Jackson, South Carolina:

This base will see significant cuts in MWR programs and services. One fitness center will completely close. The other 3 centers will be open for 90 hours weekly. The library will be open 5 days instead of 7. One pool will close. MWR funded recreation trips are going to be completely cut. The auto hobby center will be open 4 days instead of 5.

Fort Sill, Oklahoma:

Fort Sill is facing a 25% cut in taxpayer funding. The library’s hours will be reduced. There will also be new fees for the pools, outdoor recreation and special events or programs.

Will other military branches be impacted by MWR cuts?

The budget cuts will also impact joint service bases where Army MWR has the lead. This includes bases that previously had both or all branches providing MWR programs, but switched to have these services provided only by the Army.

The Navy has also made cuts to its MWR programs. Many bases have closed art and craft centers, wood shops and auto centers. There are no additional changes predicted or anticipated this year.

The Marine Corps has not scheduled any cuts to its MWR programs this year. However, the service will continue to look at services and programs.

The Air Force has not released information about potential MWR service cuts.

While these services do not plan to cut services at this time, MWR programs could be changed or removed in the future.

What do you think about the cuts to MWR programs at military bases?

Commissary Privatization Is Not the Answer

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We recently published an article, “Commissary Closures: It’s All or Nothing,” and received quite a bit of feedback on it, especially about commissary privatization. Emotions run high when the topic turns to the potential of commissary privatization or even worse, closure.

Don’t panic; your commissary benefits are currently safe.

Commissary Privatization Is Not the Answer

Commissary privatization isn’t the answer. Photo courtesy U.S. Air Force.

The government is however trying to do away with the cost associated with the operation of the commissary. After our article was published, a lot of MilitaryShoppers readers voiced their opinions. Here is what they said:

Char Johnson said

Privatization is NOT the answer! How many benefits do you think taking away from our military (active or retired) will be acceptable! What happened to honor and trust, something our members of Congress don’t seem to recognize? I am a military wife of a retiree. I/we travel to the commissary and exchange at least three times per month, and we utilize our privileges to the max. Don’t take away something that has been earned and promised. Start taking away from those who vote against what we have and what our soldiers have earned.

Mrs. Johnson makes an excellent point, where will the cutting of benefits end? Service members are promised benefits when they join the military. That is a recruiting tool. If men and women are willing to put their lives on the line, getting a few benefits for themselves and their families make a big difference.

Many have already seen significant cuts to what they were promised.

Tricare has had several changes over the years, many of which are not ideal. Retirement benefits have shrunk in size and increased in cost. Education benefits have improved, and the exchange and commissaries have remained a constant. Service men and women, along with their families, have earned these benefits and were promised them.

Now the government wants to save money by taking away some of the $1.3 billion annual Department of Defense subsidy the commissary receives. Millions of dollars have been spent researching how to keep the commissary running without government funds. Many options have been considered including commissary brand products, commissary privatization and variable pricing. So far, none of these are the answer. In the meantime, military families keep shopping at the commissary.

The majority of service members and their families shop at the commissary. It might be just once a year for some but for many, it’s multiple times a month. The slogan “it’s worth the drive” is true. I no longer live near a big commissary, even though we are active duty. The tiny 6-isle commissary 35 minutes away is worth the drive just for the savings on meat alone.

Daryel Covington also makes the drive. He said

I travel about 150 miles round trip sometimes twice a month! BTW, I’m a 70-year-old retiree and need the saving! And no I will not support a price increase nor could I support privatization.

Mr. Covington travels to the commissary to save money and realizes that if the prices go up, the commute won’t be worth it. For some, saving money isn’t the main reason they shop at the commissary though.

William C Simmons said

I am a retired airman who served 26 years. My wife and I are today over 80 years old and shop the commissary once every week. Our children have long left home and we live alone. The commissary is a great convenience to us. Of course we could shop local grocery stores; it would not be the Military Family we loved for so many years.

I share the same sentiment with Mr. Simmons. I love saving money of course, but I mostly like to shop at the commissary because of the military community or family feeling.

I grew up doing our weekly grocery shopping with my mom at the commissary and now I do it with my son. While the Simmons don’t have any children of their own left at home, they feel like they can still shop at the commissary and have that military family feeling.

If commissary privatization is realized, that sense of family may get pushed out of the way for corporate profits.

That’s what all of this comes down to, money. The government wants to save money and we just want to save our benefit. They have spent millions of dollars researching how to save money. Commissary privatization isn’t the answer.

Charles leaves us with this thought. He said

The amount the commissary gets subsidized is a small price given to our active duty troops/retirees and their families for the many contributions and sacrifices they gave to our country. So much more funds could be saved by eliminating the enormous careless [government] spending.

If we agree that commissary privatization is not the answer, what is the answer when Congress needs to cut the funding for commissaries? Share your thoughts in the comments section.

Why a Surprise Military Homecoming Is an Awful Idea

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Deployment is almost over! The countdown is only a few weeks, days or hours. I am ready. Kind of.

I still need to clean the house, corral the kids, hose off the pets and pick out a stunning outfit for the BIG DAY.

Except now, here he is. The house is dirty. The kids are running amok. The dog just got skunked and I’m wearing sweats. I am so not ready for this military homecoming!

My worst nightmare is a surprise military homecoming.

Maybe because I’m an ultra Type-A planner who likes to be moderately in control at most times. To me a surprise military homecoming just seems like a bad idea.

First, the whole surprise thing. It’s a random time of day and the doorbell rings. There’s a person wearing some sort of uniform standing at my front door. For me, it would be heart-stopping shock. Not joy, shock about the potential despair that might be coming. All because there is a uniformed person on my doorstep, without warning.

Part of deployment is the mental prep and gamification of it. The countdown is front and center on the fridge. In my mind, I’m ready for X day. With a surprise military homecoming, the spouse or family might not be mentally ready.

Why a Surprise Military Homecoming Is an Awful Idea

A military homecoming doesn’t need to be a surprise to be special for your family.

Along with the mental prep work to welcome a service member home, comes some deep selfishness.

We have been apart for goodness knows how long, and my bed has been empty. The children have not seen their father in forever it seems. And we need that moment of just us-ness.

But a surprise military homecoming takes away that intimacy. They take away the “us-ness” of the moment by bringing other people into the mix.

It’s sheer logistics. Someone else will see him first, be next to him first, drive him first and arrange his first food.

Call me selfish, but the only humans I want to share those firsts with are my children. The deployment has been a build-up to the moment my spouse steps off the bus, plane or out of formation. I need the closure of that very first kiss.

Beyond just the “first” moments, let’s talk about the whole planning aspect of these surprise military homecoming shenanigans.

The service member has to contact someone at home to arrange everything. Someone has to be there to get her. She has to have food and something to drink, plus provide a change of clothes. The props have to be set up in advance, ready to go. Plus, someone has to move the spouse and kids into the correct position at the proper time.

That is a LOT of work. Chances are that the TV crew members don’t help out every person who wants to pull off one of these surprise military homecomings.

Last, but not least, let’s talk about the lies involved with a surprise military homecoming.

The building blocks of marriage are truth and trust.

After months apart, the service member has decided to keep a HUGE secret from his or her spouse: the time and date of return. Not only has she just not mentioned it, the service member has also likely actively engaged in deception to conceal the return window.

Reintegration following deployments is challenging enough without starting off with a giant lie. Failing to be truthful about when you are returning can be extremely hurtful.

Not to mention, the weeks leading up to reunions are unbelievably busy: cleaning, haircuts, notes to school, arranging child care, more cleaning, meal prep and getting children ready to be back in a 2-parent household again.

Just showing up can put a seriously huge (but happy) wrench into a lot of this prep time. Plus, there might be last-minute “distraction” adventures that families have planned to just get through the final few weeks or days.

I know I hit Disneyland an awful lot the month that a year-long deployment was winding down. What if my husband had picked a spontaneous Disney day to “surprise” me? He’d have been locked out while I rode Space Mountain, that’s what.

So, by all means, go right ahead and do your supposed to be fun and emotional surprise military homecoming stuff.

But please, before you get deep into plans, remember that not everyone likes surprises. Some families on the homefront need the non-surprise reunion to wrap their brains around the whole situation.

Trust me, even without the surprise aspect, every military homecoming is full of love.

Now it’s your turn: How do you feel about a surprise military homecoming?

Disabled Veterans May See Increase in Benefits

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Thanks to Congressman Ralph Abraham of Louisiana, disabled veterans may see an increase in benefits at the end of the year. Dr. Abraham’s HR 5588, the Veterans’ Compensation COLA Act of 2016 was signed into law this summer and takes effect on December 1, 2016.

Disabled Veterans May See Increase in Benefits

What do you think of legislation aimed at increasing and expanding benefits for disabled veterans?

The bill quickly made its way through the House and Senate and was signed into law by the president in under a month. The bill itself is quite simple:

(Sec. 2) This bill directs the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) to increase, as of December 1, 2016, the rates of veterans’ disability compensation, additional compensation for dependents, the clothing allowance for certain disabled veterans, and dependency and indemnity compensation for surviving spouses and children.

Each such increase shall be the same percentage as the increase in benefits provided under title II (Old Age, Survivors, and Disability Insurance [OASDI]) of the Social Security Act, on the same effective date.

In short, each year legislation has to be drafted to approve an increase in cost of living allowance (COLA) for disabled veterans. The increase will match that of social security. While social security automatically increases each year as the cost of living does, the Veterans’ Compensation COLA Act does not have a stipulation for automatic adjustment.

To me, this seems to be an outdated way of doing things. If social security can automatically increase with the cost of living, then why doesn’t the Veterans’ Compensation COLA Act?

Abraham looked at this process and introduced HR 677, the American Heroes COLA Act. This bill would enable the veterans’ COLA adjustments to be automatic each year freeing up the House to work on other bills and saving veterans and their families the frustration of waiting to see what will happen with their pay each year. The House quickly passed this bill, but the Senate has not done anything with it.

For now, disabled veterans can plan their finances for the short term knowing the Veterans’ Compensation COLA Act of 2016 was signed into law.

They will have to wait for the politicians in Washington to decide if they will pass the American Heroes COLA Act and make it an automatic adjustment each year.

Note however, while the Veterans’ Compensation COLA Act of 2016 has been signed into law, it does not mean that an increase in pay is guaranteed.

The amount that disabled veterans may see as an increase will be the same increase as social security. The last time social security did not increase was in 2000.

It won’t be until the end of the year that the exact amount of an increase will be known. It will only be increased if there is an increase in the Consumer Price Index for Urban Wage Earners and Clerical Workers (CPI-W).

The compensation programs for disabled veterans were originally put into place to help relieve the financial burden disabled veterans face by not being able to earn wages due to injuries sustained during military service. The amount of benefits disabled veterans receive is based on the degree of disability they qualify for.

Abraham, a veteran of the Army Reserves and National Guard, has been working to get disabled veterans better benefits. These 2 bills are not his only accomplishments in regards to veterans’ issues since being elected to office.

He has also chaired the VA Subcommittee on Disability Assistance and Memorial Affairs. He has worked toward getting disabled veterans the help they need when they need it and at locations convenient to them through the Veterans’ Choice Program. This program would make it easier for veterans who live in remote areas to seek medical treatment from doctors near them, rather than wait for an appointment at a VA facility.

Last year Abraham also cosponsored HR 1994, the VA Accountability Act. This bill passed the House but the Senate has yet to consider it. If the VA Accountability Act were to become law, the VA would become accountable for its actions. They would finally be able to fire or demote employees that have failed to do their job.

Thanks to Abraham, disabled veterans might be getting better benefits in the future.

What do you think of legislation aimed at increasing and expanding benefits for disabled veterans?

Can Military Spouses Have It All?

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What is “having it all?”

For me, having it all means having a job in my profession with my spouse also working in his field. It means a decent house in a safe neighborhood and reliable child care. Having it all means the ability to take a vacation every year. Having it all means that my marriage, family life, professional life and personal interests are able to work together.

Do You Think Working Military Spouses Can Have It All?

What do you think? Can military spouses have it all?

With the recent release of their study, The Force Behind the Force, the Institute for Veterans and Military Families (IVMF) lays out some troubling statistics.

Essentially, this study tells us what military spouses already know: we are underemployed and unemployed in staggering numbers as an almost direct result of our spouse’s military service.

In his opinion, 2012 Military Spouse of the Year Jeremy Hilton dissects the results and reaches the conclusion that military spouses cannot “have it all” in the traditional work/life/family balance. And he’s not wrong.

The “powers that be” offer solutions: volunteer, work for the government or work remotely. Which is great, for those lucky few who have the skills in the markets that allow those kinds of flexible jobs.

In my time as a military spouse, I have sacrificed almost a decade of professional teaching experience so that my husband can honorably serve this country. Since receiving my master’s degree in 2009, I have taught in a school district for 2 years. I know that my personal job prospects suffer for each year that I am out of the classroom. Even with writing an education blog and being active in professional learning networks online, I am moving out of the loop.

My salary expectations are suffering too. My peers, with similar degrees earned at similar times, are several steps ahead of me. This way of paying teachers is not unlike the military and government method: years of experience and education combine to indicate a salary. With only 2 years on the books, I’m earning at least 4 years – 4 steps – below my peers.

When I have voiced concerns about this in online forums, some military spouses have been dismissive and down right critical.

After all, I knew what I was getting into. I should have expected to shell out hundreds or thousands of dollars every few years to get a new license or maintain a current license.

If not, I should be prepared to walk away from an expensive education and a profession that I am passionate about. Or find a different passion or cobble together some other wage earning position(s). No slack should be cut. I should be happy with what I get, even if it is scraps compared to what my professional peers rate, these critical voices tell me.

Here’s the thing: I have seen how I could have it all.

I had it all for a very brief window. I had my dream job in my dream school. My spouse also had an assignment he loved. We were both being paid competitive wages, with the opportunity to advance. We had reliable and affordable child care.

And then we got PCS orders.

Suddenly, my career was at square one. Child care involved endless waiting lists and it was just easier to stay at home with my child. I gave in. I stopped fighting. I told myself that I couldn’t have it all.

Then we moved again. So I started again.

Now we are expecting another child, which is amazing, except that it means that my career will once again take a back seat. If I wasn’t a military spouse, I would have been in one or two districts over the last 6 years. I would have earned tenure on the faculty. I would have earned Family Medical Leave Allowance. I would have been able to bank sick days for years to compensate for the post-birth time off.

So, can military spouses have it all?

In short, yes. Sometimes.

When all the stars align and the pieces of the puzzles fall into place, for brief periods of time, military spouses can have it all. I have been to that promised land and I have been kicked out again.

Most of the time, military spouses will probably not have it all.

By the time we line up the child care and the best job, orders will be imminent. Or another child will be on the way. Or deployment and training will pop up again.

And we will be back at square one: new location, no job, a few kids and gaps in our paid job experience that no amount of volunteering or blogging will ever hope to fill.

We will be chasing our professional licenses, hunting on the job boards and calling child care places to see if there is any hope of an opening.

We become part of the statistics for unemployed or underemployed military spouses.

What do you think? Can military spouses have it all?

Should We Believe Congress When It Comes to the Commissary?

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Congress is constantly debating military benefits and the commissary is frequently at the top of the list. Every year when the Defense Bill reaches the floor consumers stand weary to see what will happen to their commissary benefits.

Congress claims they are looking out for service members, veterans and their families, but are they really?

Is Congress trying to save the commissary or looking for an excuse to close it down? If you listen in on any of the subcommittee meetings, you might not be so sure of the answer.

Should We Believe Congress When It Comes to the Commissary?

Congress isn’t out to cause harm to military families by cutting the commissary.

It might be hard to trust that lawmakers are on the side of military families. They are constantly talking about budget cuts and changes to military benefits. Service members and their families have sacrificed so much. They were promised benefits to compensate them for their service.

Over the years however, we have all watched as benefits are cut, diminished and altered.

What my dad was promised back in the 70s is not what he ended up with when he retired from the Army almost 30 years later.

Congress isn’t out to cause harm to military families by cutting benefits though and all changes aren’t bad either. I’ve witnessed some great changes in the last 8 years that I’ve been a Navy spouse.

You won’t find any of the committee members saying they want to do away with the commissary. They all pledge that they are working hard to keep the commissary going. It’s the business process they are trying to improve so that the commissary won’t depend on the government and taxpayers to it keep running.

The simple truth is they want military families to have the benefit of shopping at the commissary –they just don’t want to pay for it.

As so many things come down to it, it’s just about money. How can Congress cut the budget? If they truly didn’t care about the morale of families, they could simply vote to do away with the commissary. It really could be that simple.

Instead, they have taken extensive measures to dig into what can be done to save the commissary.

Congress hired a firm and spent nearly $4 million to research ways to make the commissary self-sufficient and competitive with commercial grocery stores.

They looked into privatizing the system, but that didn’t pan out.

They talked about what increasing the prices could do to level the playing field with commercial grocers and patrons balked at the idea.

They tested the idea of variable pricing by market and that resulted in some families coming out ahead while others found their pockets lighter.

Finally, the research team talked about creating a commissary brand private label. That had mixed results in discussion but this year it will be tested. DeCA will be introducing private label items by the end of the year. They are still in the process of seeking companies to put in proposals to create the private labels. Congress is waiting for the results of this idea.

We will be waiting to see what happens next, because that’s all we can do.

It’s another year of wait and see.

Will the commissary benefit continue or will Congress look at the price tag and decide to make significant changes? Unfortunately, only time will tell. In the meantime, take advantage of this benefit and do your shopping at the commissary.

Do you believe the leaders of Congress when they say they are working to protect our commissary benefit? Why or why not?

How Many Service Members Are Using Food Assistance Programs?

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On any given day, my husband and I exchange a volley of “what sounds good for dinner?” and “I don’t know, what sounds good to you?” We hem and haw before one of us finally breaks down and offers up a suggestion. But we haven’t always been so nonchalant about our daily meals.

When our children were young and my husband was a junior enlisted soldier, our monthly budget was tighter than a pair of skinny jeans after Thanksgiving dinner.

To make ends meet, we got creative with our food choices, shared living arrangements with another couple for a while, and gave up trying to save money each month.

Paydays were cause for celebration. It meant the promise of at least a few days of good eating.

We turned to the Women, Infant and Children (WIC) program for some food assistance. We prayed that nothing would go wrong with the car. We hoped that the kids wouldn’t outgrow their clothes too quickly. Our bimonthly pilgrimage to the commissary helped us stretch our budget even further.

How Many Service Members Are Using Food Assistance Programs? DoD Has No Idea

I’d say it is high time DoD took notice of how many service members are turning to food assistance programs like WIC and SNAP.

We were far from the only ones struggling to make ends meet. We knew countless other young military families doing their best not to resort to a diet of ramen noodles, peanut butter and water.

Which is why a recent report from the Government Accountability Office (GAO) suggesting that the Department of Defense (DoD) has no idea how many service members are turning to public food assistance programs like WIC and SNAP is a bit surprising.

DoD is tracking valid numbers for the military’s FSSA program, but with so few military families utilizing the program, and with the speculation that many service members find shame and embarrassment at the involvement of their chains of command, the program will be calling it quits in September. Fewer than 300 people qualify for FSSA worldwide, according to DoD.

When you consider that a 2015 study suggested that as many as 1 in 4 military families are using some kind of food assistance program to supplement their food budgets, it becomes clear that the data is an important part of understanding our community’s current state of affairs.

Throw in discussions about commissary closures, BAH reductions and cuts to our health care programs and one has to wonder if DoD officials truly understand the day-to-day challenges faced by today’s military families.

The GAO’s report recommended the launch of a joint effort between the USDA and DoD to gather these numbers, and based on my own personal experiences, I’d say it’s about time.

Implications of inadequate food budgets are far-reaching. When military families worry about putting food on the table, mission-readiness suffers. Inadequate nutrition, while a significant concern for children, is also part of a healthy lifestyle for service members and their spouses. What’s more, with the buying power of food dollars fluctuating from duty station to duty station, morale can suffer when nothing more than a PCS takes away a family’s sense of independence and self-reliance.

My husband is fast approaching retirement, but for the entire extent of our military journey, we’ve known young military families challenged by food costs, many of whom have had to turn to food assistance programs or food banks.

Looking back, as a young military spouse, I was too busy trying to keep up with the daily rigors of being a military spouse, mother and employee to stop and think about how wrong it was for members of the best military in the world to have any issues keeping their families fed.

In the end, we were lucky. We managed to weather the storm and now enjoy the luxury of not having to worry about what’s in our pantry or refrigerator.

But not all military families are as lucky as we have been and with this issue being so prevalent, and in light of the fact that it’s been a challenge for our community for as long as I can remember, I’d say it is high time DoD took notice.

Now it’s your turn: Do you think DoD needs to do a better job of tracking food assistance program data? Why or why not?