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What I Wish I’d Known Before Becoming a Military Spouse

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I’ve heard it, have you?

“You knew what you were getting into.”

It’s often delivered by a more seasoned spouse when another person appears to be complaining about military life. Other times we hear this from well-meaning members of the civilian population. Either way, I most certainly did not fully grasp what I was getting into when I married my military husband. I’m betting you didn’t know either.

What I Wish I'd Known Before Becoming a Military Spouse

What do you wish you had known before you became a military spouse?

What I Wish I’d Known Before Becoming a Military Spouse

How to Move Homes

Before that first PCS, the biggest “move” of my life was for a one-semester study abroad in, wait for it, Canada. I’m from New England. It was like moving next door.

As I dove into the military spouse world, I quickly realized I was in over my head. Everyone else had binders and plans and apps and lists of serial numbers (with photos attached).

I had, well, nothing.

Over time, I’ve picked up a few tricks. I wash and then bag clothes, bed linens and towels. Food and water are supplied for the packers and movers, but I watch them like a hawk too. I always leave some extra toilet paper in the bathroom along with some room spray.

All the Acronyms

I’m a teacher. We use acronyms for everything. I thought I was prepared…until the military came to town. At first, my eyes glazed over and my mouth went slack, complete with a strand of drool. Every other “word” out of my husband’s mouth seemed to be a random string of letters.

Luckily, I found a few great military spouse guidebooks that really explained some of these acronyms to me. The rest? I either asked my spouse, turned to a friend or Googled it. I’m still figuring some acronyms out.

Legal Eagle

Military life goes hand in hand with lawyers, it seems. I knew that real adults needed things, like wills and stuff. I just wasn’t prepared to dive in right away.

Nope, the military had other ideas! I quickly learned what a POA was, and that I would need several different versions to actually run my life during deployment. I also learned about wills, DNRs, insurance policies and SCRA. I wish that someone had sat me down during pre-military marriage counseling for the lawyer talk.

How to Pick a Rental Property

I’m a decade into this ride and I still feel like I’m winging this one for the most part. Luckily, my father-in-law is super handy at home and taught my husband well. But I don’t know that I would know what to look for that indicates a terrible home.

The first time around? Our off-base rental had rats. Another home (or two) had funky windows and an old heating system. Our current on-base home was assigned without other options, but it’s got a few geckos. Yes, you read that right.

I would still love a comprehensive checklist with what to look for in a rental property. If you’ve got this, please hit me up!

Ask for Help

Before 2008, I mostly flew solo. I felt competent and confident about everything, from school to love to housing. And then I got married and he left for a long time.

I needed help, but I wasn’t sure how to ask for it. I’d never needed anything more serious than a recommendation letter or a little string pulled.

Now, I needed help moving into our house, finding friends, figuring out finances and navigating a new location. It was a lot.

Luckily, I ended up in base housing (after the rat situation). I was surrounded by other brand new spouses plus a few experienced friends. With a little help, I figured it all out, mostly. Now I can share a little of my wisdom with other spouses.

Your Heart Breaks

To prepare myself for military life, I watched military classics. Namely: “Top Gun” and “An Officer and A Gentleman.” I was prepared for the romance, the mystery.

What I wasn’t prepared for? The moment that bus pulls out for 9 to 12 months. No one told me how much it would physically hurt to be away from my spouse.

They also didn’t prepare me for the other goodbyes that were coming. Every few years, deployment or not, my heart breaks again when we move. I’ve stood in more parking lots than I care to think about, tears streaming down my face. Saying “farewell,” even “see you later,” to dear friends is heart-wrenching.

The Best People

Unless you live in this community, you don’t truly get it. I’ve never met a more diverse group of individuals. The military welcomes everyone. It could be terrible. There are a lot of opposing viewpoints and beliefs here that have the potential to erupt.

Instead, everyone seems to have adopted the idea that we are in this together. No one hesitates to offer help to another family in need. I’ve had almost complete strangers step up when I was too sick to be around my child. Other friends save coupons for me to use while we’re OCONUS. We share rental recommendations, school information and the lowdown on making the best of a bad situation.

Some of my absolute best friends, the gals who are in my life forever, are military spouses.

I wish someone had told me how amazing this community is before I stepped into this life. The people we’ve met along the way have made all the difference for us.

What do you wish you had known before you became a military spouse? Tell us in the comments!

Will Tricare’s Changes Impact Military Retirees?

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By now the cat is out of the bag and you’ve probably heard and maybe even read about all of the changes to Tricare coverage for active duty personnel starting in 2018.

But what about the changes to plans offered to military retirees?

Much like the changes for Tricare Prime and Tricare Select (formerly known as Tricare Standard and Tricare Extra), the changes depend on the plan you use.

Yes, there are changes and increases to fees, and yes, there are also some increases in coverage for certain types of care.

The good news is that 2018 will be a transition year for the permanent changes and just as in years past, retirees will be able to switch plans as they wish. However, starting in 2018 for coverage beginning in 2019, Tricare for Retirees and Tricare for Life will see enrollment periods opening once per year and any changes to plan enrollment will need to take place during the open-enrollment period from the middle of November to the middle of December.

Will Tricare's Changes Impact Military Retirees?

Will you be impacted by Tricare changes this year? What’s changing for your health insurance plan?

Changes in Prescription Fees

All beneficiaries will see a change in prescription fees starting in February 2018. A 30-day supply of name brand drugs will run retirees $28, while generics will cost $11. Ninety-day supplies via home delivery will be $24 for name brand and $7 for generics. There will continue to be no co-pay for prescriptions filled at military treatment facilities for eligible plans. Non-formulary co-pays will be $53 for both 30-day retail in-network filled and home delivery.

Changes to the Retiree Dental Plan

The current Retiree Dental Plan will be retired in December 2018. The plan will be replaced with the same plan currently offered to federal employees and more information about the plan and any additional changes will be put out later this year.

Changes to Tricare Retirees – Select

All retirees using Tricare were notified late last year about the enrollment requirement. Enrollment is required in order to continue care. Current Tricare Retirees-Standard (now called Select) will see out-of-network fees charged for any care received without enrollment, so if you use this plan and haven’t already enrolled, take the time to do so. It will save you money if you end up needing care this year.

In addition, Tricare Retirees-Select will continue to see no enrollment fees until 2021. After that an annual enrollment fee will be charged, similar to the Tricare Retirees-Prime fees already in place. These annual enrollment fees will be due in January 2021.

Medical retirees and survivors of service members killed in action using Tricare Retirees-Select however, will be exempt from the fee.

Other changes include upping the the catastrophic cap for retirees using the Standard plan staring in 2021 from the current $3,000 to $3,500.

For Select users starting in January 2018, in-network primary care visits will cost $35 and in-network specialty care will cost $45 per visit. In-network emergency room visits will run $116 per visit and urgent care $35 per visit.

Changes to Tricare Retirees – Prime

Tricare Retirees-Prime will continue to see much of the same coverage currently offered. Annual enrollment rates will see annual increases equal to COLA rates. Enrollment dates and fees will move from October to January starting in 2018.

For any point-of-service visits outside of a military treatment facility, retirees using Prime will pay $20 for in-network primary care and $30 for in-network specialty care. In-network emergency room visits will cost $60 and urgent care, $30.

Changes to Tricare for Life

Retirees using Tricare for Life will see almost no changes to their current coverage. The current $150 (single rate) and $300 (family rate) will remain the same for costs not picked up by Medicare.

Additionally, the catastrophic cap will remain the same. The only change Tricare for Life users will see is a change in the reset date for deductibles and cap. Instead of October, the plan will reset in January just like all of the other Tricare plans starting in 2018.

Tricare has done a pretty decent job of notifying its beneficiaries of the changes and more information about changes to specific plans can be found on their website.

Now that you know how military retirees will be impacted by major changes from Tricare, what other questions do you have?

5 Breastfeeding Tips for New Moms

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Breastfeeding is hard. For some reason, people don’t tell you that while you’re pregnant. You see ads in magazines of glowing new moms blissfully nursing their babies and think “oh, this will be easy.”

5 Breastfeeding Tips for New Moms

Breast pumps are now 100% covered under Tricare. All you need is a prescription from your doctor.

For most moms, it isn’t that simple. Some women luck out and have babies that are great at latching. They have a steady milk supply and don’t run in to any nursing-related medical problems.

For the rest of us, nursing takes practice and a whole lot of patience. Here are 5 tips for moms that plan to breastfeed their babies.

5 Breastfeeding Tips for New Moms

Learn about Breastfeeding

This sounds funny to say, but breastfeeding isn’t as simple as it sounds. A lot of women give up breastfeeding because they thought it would be easy to do but then discovered that it wasn’t.

I recently had our second child, a baby girl. I watched videos online about how to breastfeed over and over again when she wasn’t latching properly. I nursed our first child so you would think doing it again would be easy, but no 2 babies are alike.

You can learn about breastfeeding through books such as “What to Expect When You’re Expecting,” by watching videos online, by taking a baby education class or by attending a breastfeeding support group. Talking to friends that have breastfed their babies can be really helpful as well.

Prep for Breastfeeding

Once you’ve decided that you’re going to breastfeed your baby, you’ll want to prep for it while you are pregnant. There are a few things to consider.

  • Will you exclusively breastfeed or will you also pump?
  • Will you be breastfeeding in public?

These questions are to determine what items you will need to acquire. If you plan to pump, then you’ll need to get a pump, milk storage bags, bottles and cleaning supplies.

If you are going to nurse in public, then you might want to consider how comfortable you will feel. Some people are perfectly confident nursing in public and some are not. Either way, your wardrobe will probably change. You will want nursing bras and nursing tank tops as well as nursing friendly tops. Some women like to have a type of cover to place over the baby for more privacy as well.

Get a Free Pump

Even if you aren’t sure you want to pump, get a pump anyway. A wonderful benefit of Tricare is that breast pumps are 100% covered and you can get a new one with each child you have. It’s simple to do as well.

All you need is a prescription from your doctor.

You do not have to buy your pump at a specific place. There are numerous stores, home health supply companies and online retailers that will give you a no-cost pump with your prescription. Many now offer free accessories.

Look around for the best deal and see what you can get. Once you have your pump, take it out of the box and read the directions before the baby comes.

5 Breastfeeding Tips for New Moms

This is a picture of the pump I ordered along with all the free accessories that came with it.

Don’t Get Overwhelmed

When the baby arrives, don’t let yourself get overwhelmed with breastfeeding. It’s natural to worry if your baby is getting enough milk and if you’re doing it right. A lactation nurse should visit you in the hospital to help you get started.

Once you’re home things might go well for a period of time and then all of a sudden change. Don’t panic.

Tricare covers lactation consultations. You can get help. You can also join a lactation support group. I joined the one at our hospital. It’s a great way to meet other moms as well.

Enjoy the Experience

Breastfeeding should be comfortable, not painful. You should feel happy in the bond that you’ve created with your baby. Breastfeeding is a unique experience and once you’ve mastered it, you will be able to enjoy it.

There will be times that you want to cry or curse but there will be plenty more times that you look down at your baby and smile just like the women in magazines.

What tips do you have for new moms who are breastfeeding their babies? Share them in the comments section.

 

The New Blended Retirement System and What It Means for Your Service Member

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The new blended retirement system for service members went into effect on January 1, 2018. The blended retirement system takes the previous retirement program, known as the legacy retirement system and builds upon it.

Not all service members are eligible to participate in the new program and there are many factors to consider when deciding to switch.

Here are the key points of the blended retirement system to help you understand the new program.

What are the 2 retirement systems for service members?

Under the legacy retirement system, a service member is required to serve a minimum of 20 years to receive retirement pay. If they get out before then, they received nothing toward retirement. The military has realized that not many service members stay until the 20 year mark.

The new blended retirement system was created to allow all service members to leave with something toward retirement even if they do not stay in the service for a long period of time.

The new program blends the legacy retirement pension with a defined contribution that goes toward a service member’s Thrift Savings Plan (TSP). This is basically like combining the pension plan with a 401(k) type plan. The longer a service member stays in, the higher their pension will be. The blended retirement system also takes into account inflation and adjusts based on the annual cost of living adjustment.

The New Blended Retirement System and What It Means for Your Service Member

The new blended retirement system was created to allow all service members to leave with money toward retirement even if they do not stay in the service for 20 years.

Who is eligible?

Anyone entering the military from January 1, 2018, on will be automatically entered into the blended retirement system. All service members that are active as of December 31, 2017, are already in the legacy program and will remain in it. They will not be automatically switched to the new blended retirement system.

Service members with less than 12 years as well as Reserve with less than 4,320 retirement points as of December 31, 2017, have the option to switch to the blended retirement system. These service members have all of 2018 to make the decision to switch, but once the decision is made, it cannot be changed.

Those that do change to the blended retirement system will be required to take a mandatory opt-in course through Joint Knowledge Online or through Military OneSource.

Who is not eligible?

All service members with 12 years or more in service prior to December 31, 2017, are grandfathered into the legacy retirement system and remain in it. There is nothing in their retirement plan that will change. If you are in this category and would like to review the legacy system, you can see that here.

What are some benefits of the blended retirement system?

Should you opt into the new blended retirement system or stay with the legacy retirement? This mostly depends on how long you plan on staying in the military.

If you serve less than 20 years and are on the legacy system, then you won’t get a monthly annuity or government contributions to your TSP account when you get out. If you switch to the blended retirement system, then you will have money toward retirement.

Here are a few benefits to consider in the new program.

Contributions

Under the blended retirement system, the government will automatically contribute 1% to your retirement. Additionally, you can receive up to 4% in service matching contributions if you elect to put more toward your retirement. Automatic and matching contributions will end at 26 years of service.

New service members are not eligible for the up to 4% match until the start of the 25th month of service. They will however get the automatic 1% contribution after being enrolled for 60 days.

Portability

When you leave the service, you can have your TSP transferred to an IRA or to an eligible employer’s 401(k).

Bonus Pay

Service members can receive a one-time bonus pay by agreeing to serve more time. This is known as continuation pay and is payable between performing 8 and 12 years of service. The bonus pay could be between 2.5 and 13 times your regular pay based on the service-specific retention needs. If this bonus pay puts you in a higher tax bracket, you can opt to receive your bonus in 4 equal payments over 4 years instead.

Lump Sum

When you retire, you’ll have the option to take your retirement payment as a lump sum. That sum would be a discounted portion of the retirement pay however. You can choose to take 25% or 50% as a lump sum.

If you do not choose to do a lump sum, then you will receive your retirement check monthly.

As you can see, the new program has many benefits.

What questions do you have about the new blended retirement system?

2018 Brings Pay and BAH Increases…Or Does It?

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It’s the new year and along with resolutions, new tax regulations and the Winter Olympics, we also have the annual military pay increase.

2018 Brings Pay and BAH Increases...Or Does It?

For active duty, the 2.4% pay increase will be the largest pay raise since 2010. But is it enough?

In years past the raise has been a little lackluster, but this year most folks are pretty happy with the pay increase. How much are we going to see? For active duty, the 2.4% pay increase will be the largest pay raise since 2010. For my spouse, that means a monthly increase of just under $100 a month. Not too shabby, maybe we can finally institute a monthly date night.

For retirees, the annual cost of living adjustment (COLA) pay increase will be 2%, a definite increase over years past.

To see how much the pay increase for active duty personnel will benefit your household, check out the 2018 Military Pay Rates chart here. Retirees and disabled veterans can find more information about the new COLA rate by clicking here.

In addition to all the stir about the pay increase, you might also have heard that BAH rates are ticking up slightly. And by slightly, I mean just barely at 0.7% on average, but an increase is an increase, I suppose.

The average service member will see less than a $20 increase in their BAH rates, but over the course of the year, an extra $240 can come in handy. If you’re like me, that’s my budget to replant my vegetable garden and buy a new watering can.

Keep in mind that the uptick in BAH is not a blanket increase. Some places will see as much as 10% to 15% (Beale AFB, Mountain Home AFB and Fort Wayne), while other places like Fort Riley, Camp Lejeune and Pensacola will see BAH drop as much as 5% or more.

Don’t worry if you already live in one of the areas that will see a decrease. Current regulations prevent BAH dropping for personnel already stationed at a particular location. Only incoming personnel will be affected by the drop.

That being said, make sure you do your research if a PCS is in your future.

One thing many folks may not be aware of, however, is the current BAH dampening plan to push 5% of housing cost responsibilities back to service members by 2019.

Even with the increases offered to many this year, service members will see the increase in their BAH not stretching as far as it did in years past. The published 2018 BAH rates will only cover 96% of the average housing costs, with an additional 1% reduction expected next year. The thought is that this plan will free up some much-needed funds in the defense budget.

I’m not sure how I feel about this idea. In part this feels like another inch in the steady erosion of military pay and benefits. In many specialty job positions, services are struggling to retain qualified military personnel who reap the benefits of training while in service only to be romanced away by the large salary and benefit offers coming from civilian employers.

I understand the money has to come from somewhere, but in my experience, BAH has frequently not kept up with growing housing costs and given that service members have no say in the duty stations they are assigned to, reduction in the BAH benefits will make PCSing to some duty stations that much harder.

In places like Virginia Beach, San Diego and Washington, D.C., where the cost of living is already 15% to 40% higher than the national average, even a 5% reduction in benefits will hit service members’ wallets hard.

And it doesn’t exactly scream “stay in” when it comes time to consider re-enlistment.

When you consider this pay increase – that’s not really an increase – along with some of the jumps in medical costs put out by Tricare for 2018, the benefits so many service members expected as part of their pay is slowly but surely being whittled away.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m certainly not going to turn down a pay increase, but it’s important that we remain aware of what those increases actually mean. And when you consider that the call to serve is answered by so few, I have a hard time understanding why pay and benefits seem to be on the steady decline.

What do you think of this year’s pay increase for service members?

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Please Don’t Ask Me That!

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Without fail, at social gatherings or online, it will happen. Someone will ask a question and my face will kind of freeze into an awkward mask. It’s somewhere between a cringe, a fake smile and an eye roll.

I don’t mean to do that. It’s just, well, some questions are awkward and strange.

Please Don’t Ask Me That: The Strangest Questions I’ve Been Asked As a Military Spouse

(Full disclosure: I haven’t personally been asked all of these questions, but I’ve had friends who have been or have heard the rumors about certain questions in my decade as a military spouse.)

Can you make sure your next move will take you to (location near family)?

If we actually got to pick where we moved, I would be picking Hawaii or San Diego. Maybe somewhere in Europe or a tropical island, like Jamaica.

Unfortunately, we just get told where to go. Even when submitting a “wishlist” of next duty stations is possible, the chances of getting your top choice is laughable.

Will you be going to visit your spouse in (location near the front lines)?

I’ve heard that Afghanistan has some lovely hiking in the Hindu Kush. I, unfortunately, do not plan on visiting my combat deployed spouse while he is there. He’s mentioned something about rocket strikes and horrendous dust storms during the 5 static-filled minutes we talked via satellite phone 2 months ago.

(Spouse) is coming home soon! Will you be moving home?

I’m not sure you understand how this life works. It’s a job and we live where the job is. There is not a job in (hometown) for my spouse. So we’ll be staying at our current location until the military sends us somewhere else.

I’ve watched “Army Wives.” When are you going to become friends with the general’s wife?

Any question that tries to relate my military spouse life to the fun, but fictional, romp that is “Army Wives” will get extra eye rolls from me.

No, unless my spouse rises in the ranks to that level, Claudia Joy will never be my BFF. Instead, I’ll be socializing mainly with families in a similar status or rank to my own spouse. If I am invited to a social event with the higher-ups, it will be a more formal occasion. Pleasantries will be exchanged, but I probably won’t become besties with a general’s wife.

Please Don't Ask Me That: The Strangest Questions I've Been Asked As a Military Spouse

What’s the craziest thing that you’ve been asked as a military spouse or service member?

Why can’t I post the specific homecoming date and location or share exactly when and where my spouse will be deployed?

Let me explain it to you in 5 little letters: OPSEC. Operational Security. A handy way to remind yourself of this is “loose lips sink ships.” There are individuals online constantly looking for information about forward-deployed troops.

Posting information online or oversharing in any situation can cause these individuals to target units or locations for attacks. Sharing specific homecoming information can also invite these trolls to interrupt the safe return of troops.

Your best bet? If it doesn’t come from the public affairs officer or shop, don’t post it or share it.

I want to visit my spouse at their unaccompanied OCONUS duty station. Won’t the military pay for me to go there?

No. They won’t. Your spouse or significant other is unaccompanied and has a job to do overseas. They might get some time to head home mid-tour, but otherwise will be mainly at their OCONUS location.

If you want to visit, you’ll need to do it on your own dime. Or learn how to work the Space-A system.

My spouse is late coming home from work. Who should I call?

No one. Call no one. Calling the duty desk or his shop or his senior NCO or reporting officer is not a good idea. Instead, of just being late tonight, your spouse will be late every night for the foreseeable future. And they’ll enjoy endless teasing from everyone else in their shop forever.

Instead, proceed as usual at home and maybe set aside some dinner for reheating later.

You had a baby in Japan! Does he have dual citizenship?

OK, first: that would be super cool! Second: my baby is fully an American without any extra citizenships. The overseas bases have special privileges, which include making any children born there immediate American citizens.

Unfortunately, having a baby OCONUS does mean that registering the birth is a super long and pricier process than in the States.

He’s home (or leaving soon). Planning to get knocked up?

I mean, maybe? Anyone who has tried to conceive kind of knows that it is a crapshoot, at best. Honestly, my desire to have a baby and when and how is really none of  your business.

Your life seems so exciting! Can you give me your best tips so I can marry into the military too?

After I give you some fierce side-eye, I’ll calmly explain that this life was never my first plan. I fell in love with a guy who happened to be in the military. The end. I didn’t chase him down because of his dress blues or go out hunting for a dude with dog tags.

While there are awesome parts to military life, a lot of this is really hard. It’s not all fancy birthday balls and happy homecomings. This life is messy and hard and emotional and stressful.

But good luck with that!

What’s the craziest thing that you’ve been asked as a military spouse or service member? Post your funniest stories in the comments!

10 Tips for How to Nail a Phone Interview

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Moving around the world as much as I have, I’ve had my fair share of phone or virtual interviews. At first, it seems great. You can totally chill on the couch in your PJs while securing a new job. I’m 100% there for that!

Until life intervenes and everything blows up.

10 Tips for How to Nail a Phone Interview

You need to prepare for a phone interview a little differently than how you prepare for an in-person one. Here are our tips to help you have a great phone interview.

 

Help Prevent the Implosion from Happening With These 10 Tips for a Phone Interview

1. Do your research

Before you even get on the phone, it’s important to know about the company and the position. You want this job and are super qualified. You need to communicate that over the phone.

Poke around their website quite a bit. It’s not just the tagline that you need to be able to quote verbatim. Instead, you should be very aware of their mission, history, focus and purpose.

Depending on the position you are applying for, you could also do specific research. Look at the position-related content on the company’s website. Another option, if you have experience in the field already, is to create a brief summary of what you anticipate the position to look like and how you would fill that role most effectively.

2. Practice Questions

Practice makes perfect, especially for a job interview. The most successful interviews I’ve ever had involved hours of prep work.

If you have been in this field before, you’ve likely been through this process as least once. Try to write down, from memory, questions that you’ve been asked at previous interviews. If you are new to this field or just entering the workforce, link up with a mentor or career prep center. They can help you to work through typical job interview questions.

Either way, write out your answers to each potential question. Next, find a partner to practice with. Your spouse, friend, mentor or career advisor will role play the interviewer. They’ll ask you possible questions; you’ll answer. Try not to use your written answers if you’ll be doing a video interview. Having your responses nearby is perfectly fine for phone or off-camera interviews, though!

3. Create a Portfolio

At an in-person interview for a professional position, you’d be sharing your best work with a portfolio or through samples. While you won’t be able to do this during your phone interview, it’s helpful to have your best work on hand for your own reference. It can help trigger anecdotes or create deeper answers to questions.

If your portfolio is digital, you can offer to share your files before, during or after your interview. This shows your dedication and commitment to the position.

4. Tech Logistics

When you plan the interview, you should confirm how everything will take place. If you are in the U.S. calling the U.S., you will have fewer issues. Operating OCONUS and connecting with the U.S.? You’ll need to nail down specifics, especially timing due to the different time zones.

Confirm the time and platform (phone, online call, etc.) 24 hours before your interview. This helps to bring you to the forefront of the interviewer’s mind.

5. Location Location

Where is this interview happening? I’ve always done better in a semi-professional setting where I am comfortable. The best bet is to sit at your desk or dining room table. For on-camera interviews, try to ensure good lighting.

Being in a professional setting means that you will have your career tools easily on hand. From jotting down notes on Post-Its to pulling things up on your computer, being at your control center gives you more, well, control!

6. Noise Control

Speaking of control, what are your plans for noise interference? I have 2 kids and a dog and live in a military flight path. I needed to have a plan for my phone interviews. There is nothing worse than having a rowdy toddler bust into your super serious chat!

If you can, hire a sitter or arrange for your spouse to be home. For things outside of your control, like a dog barking or noisy planes, explain them and apologize for these possible interruptions in advance.

You should also have a back-up plan in case of technical difficulties. If you are unable to connect, immediately email or message the interviewer to apologize and explain the difficulty. Then offer several options to reconnect right away.

7. Dress for Success

While interviewing in your comfy sweatpants sounds great, it might not work in your favor. Wearing relaxing clothes makes you more casual, which is the opposite of what you want to do on this call. Instead, put on real clothes.

I like to wear skinny jeans and a cute blouse for off-camera interviews. For video calls, I wear a professional button down, jewelry and do my hair and make-up.

When I feel professional I act professional. This can totally help you nail the ideal tone of voice and stay on-point.

8. Honesty Always

It’s important to upsell yourself, sure. But there is a fine line between a professional upsell and dishonesty. If you don’t have the exact experience the company is looking for, be honest. If you think you could quickly pick up that skill set or expand your area of expertise, tell your interviewer that.

9. Etiquette

Follow all common interview etiquette rules. Be prompt and prepared at the time the interview. Take water with you in case of coughing or a dry mouth. Ask thoughtful follow-up questions and share only as much personal information as appropriate to the position and the situation.

After the interview, immediately send a thank you email. Express how much you enjoyed speaking to your interviewer and why you are excited about this position. Close the email by saying that you look forward to continuing your conversation.

10. Be Yourself!

Most companies don’t want a robot doing the job. They want a person with quirks and a sense of humor. Let your light shine and toot your horn loudly. Maybe skip sharing your affinity for true crime, but totally crack a few (safe) jokes if it feels right.

Have you rocked a phone interview? Share your tips to snag a dream job!

5 Organizational Tips for Military Life

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If there’s one thing I’ve learned as a military spouse, it’s to be organized.

Military life is full of challenges and being prepared and organized can make things so much easier. It’s a new year and we are all making resolutions. If yours is to be more organized, here are 5 tips to get you on track.

5 Organizational Tips for Military Life

Being organized will help reduce the stresses of military life.

5 Organizational Tips for Military Life

Minimize

It’s much easier to stay organized when you have fewer things to organize. I don’t like having clutter, especially paper clutter. A great idea is to open mail and immediately dispose of what you don’t need and file what you do need to keep. Have a specific place to put bills. Once they’re paid, file or shred them. Don’t leave papers out.

Pro-tip: Go paperless whenever possible.

It isn’t just paper that needs to be minimized. I remember shopping with my grandmother when I was little. When I found something I liked she would say

“do you need it or do you want it?”

I still think about that question when shopping and that keeps me from buying things I don’t need. Military families move so often and packing and unpacking can be daunting. Do you really want to move with so many things?

Minimizing the amount of things you own can help you stay organized. I keep a box for donations in my room. When I come upon something I don’t use, I drop it in there and take the box to the donation center when it’s full. If you do this regularly, when it’s time to PCS you won’t have as many things to go through before the packers come to your house.

You’ll also have more room in your closet for clothes you actually wear and your kids will have space for toys they really play with.

File

There are plenty of things you can’t get rid of though, including documents. I have a file box for my husband and myself as well as one for the kids. Paperwork that needs to be saved goes in their proper place as soon as I’ve gone through them. This includes insurance information, school transcripts and tax paperwork.

I also recommend creating a file or folder with important documents. This could have your marriage license, birth certificates, Social Security cards, passports, military orders, power of attorney, a printout of a LES, car titles, insurance information, important contact information, a copy of your will and more in it. These items are in my go-to file. It is so much faster to have everything in one spot when you need things in a hurry.

Prep

Being in a hurry happens a lot in military life. Planning ahead makes things go smoothly. I feel much better when I am prepared for moves, deployments and everyday life.

Don’t let yourself get stressed out. Make the time to get your thoughts organized. Do you have a PCS coming up? Will your spouse be deploying soon? Is your week going to be busy?

Prepare yourself for these things by thinking about what you need to do for each. If your spouse is deploying list the things you need them to do before they go and don’t wait until the last minute to do them.

If you’re moving this year, you’ll want to prep for the move.  Do as much as you can ahead of time. Start thinning out things you don’t need, gather things that you will need for the move and look into the area that you’re moving to.

If you have a busy week, make sure you’re prepared for it. Plan your meals for the week. Use your slow cooker for easy dinners. Make sure backpacks, diaper bags and lunches are packed the night before.

Delegate

You might feel like you have to do everything, but you don’t have to do it all yourself. Share the responsibility with your children. Kids of all ages can help around the house. Our 4 year old is in charge of feeding the dog and setting the table. If you have older kids, they can do laundry, empty the dishwasher and walk the dog. Everyone can help make dinner too. Children can even pack their own lunches.

If you are moving, have the kids declutter their room. Let them organize their toys. Put them in charge of preparing their things to be packed. Make them feel part of the process.

Reset

When my husband says he’s going to bed, he goes to bed.

When I say I’m going to bed, it never happens that I just go to bed. I always see something that needs to be done. I started thinking of it as resetting the house. This is basically tidying up the house so that I come down to a nicely organized space in the morning. This includes picking up things in the living room, putting away the dishes that dried, setting out items for breakfast and putting bags by the door.

Resetting can also be for your mind. Don’t go to bed with a million things on your mind. Review what you need to do before you go to bed so that when your head hits the pillow you fall asleep.

If you do some of these things to get organized, you’ll find your military life is more enjoyable and less stressful.

What do you do to keep your family organized?

What I Love About Being a Stay-At-Home-Dad

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by Eric Gardner, guest contributor

I have had many titles placed upon me in my life, but the one I cherish the most is stay-at-home-dad.

What I Love About Being a Stay-At-Home-Dad

There will always be enormous events in life, however the really important ones happen in between these milestones.

The role of a domestic engineer is a critical position that does not reward you in the traditional sense of a paycheck so some people struggle to define its value. As someone who benefited from a stay-at-home parent and now as I fill the role myself, I understand the profoundly positive impact this position can play in the health of a military family.

My wife and I, like many others, have always placed a very high value on our family. It’s a key consideration for us as we look forward with her military career.

As military families we can’t always stack the deck in our favor with PCS timelines or operational tempos but my wife and I have always tried to do the best we can.

As our family grew with the arrival of our oldest that core consideration of family value was put to the test.

As a dual-military couple we understood the time constraints our careers placed on us. With combat deployments on the rise at the time and both of us assigned to high op-tempo units we were concerned with how that could affect our family. We had seen many couples struggle with this and talked through countless scenarios. In the end the only one that fit us was my departure from the service to stay at home.

I won’t pretend there wasn’t a significant learning curve.

The transition from leading troops in combat to being unable to get my daughter into a diaper without it being a significant emotional event was an adjustment.

You cannot help but be humbled and laugh at life when your child pees through her diaper and onto your dress slacks as you stand in a receiving line for your wife’s change of command. Your once formidable persona as a ground combatant commander is shattered by the undeniable challenges that raising children will bring.

Yet with all difficult tasks come wondrous rewards. I know how fortunate I am to be able to say, I have been present at the birth of both of my children. I have been to every birthday, every holiday meal (because I am making them) and every milestone so far in their lives. Not out of luck but because I am supposed to be.

The role of a stay-at-home parent requires sacrifice, however it also yields immeasurable rewards.

I will admit that my wife got the first word status. I guess it is more fun to say “Momma” than “Daddy” in the beginning. She shares a bond with our girls I will never have – after all she is their mother.

I have been a Girl Scout troop leader and was given the unique chance to add a male perspective to my troop. Our Thinking Day observance was one such instance. As we told the unique histories and cultural information about Italy, my Girl Scouts showed off bedazzled gladiator weapons they made for the event.

I have been a spokesman for school programming, a room parent, hosted coffees and attended the military spouse events in Washington, D.C. As many of the other stay-at-home parents know there is never a shortage of areas to help out in.

Being a stay-at-home dad has allowed me the opportunity to never take myself too seriously. There will always be enormous events in life, however the really important ones happen in between these milestones. The loss of a tooth, learning to ride a bike, doing the first cartwheel, or getting a perfect score on a test.

Life happens in a few blinks of an eye.

Being afforded the opportunity to be with my girls daily lets me see them grow into beautiful ladies and allows me the chance to bolster their confidence so they can chase any dream they have.

Eric Gardner was raised in a military family and lived around the world. Following in his father’s footsteps, he joined the U.S. Army as an Infantry Officer. Since the end of his wartime service he has shifted gears and is now a stay-at-home father. In his role as an active duty Army spouse, he has become an author. As the creator of the XIII Legion Series he has enjoyed great success, and enjoys meeting other entrepreneurial spouses as well as fellow authors. You can see more from Eric Gardner at his Facebook page: www.facebook.com/thirteenthlegion.series, and http://www.facebook.com/XIIILGN or follow him via Twitter @13thLegion.