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Consider Supporting These Veterans Organizations with the CFC

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The Combined Federal Campaign, CFC, is in full swing. You can show some love by donating to support your favorite charities through the program. The CFC is the world’s largest workplace giving campaign providing federal employees the opportunity to make donations to charities locally, nationally and internationally.

What is the CFC and why is it needed?

Charitable donation requests in the workplace were unregulated prior to 1961. Some offices pressured employees into making donations while others did not allow it at all. That changed when President John Kennedy officially mandated the U.S. Civil Service Commission create and regulate fundraising in the federal service sector. Formal authority was then given to allow fundraising at federal offices.

Over the years, the program has evolved. The CFC is now the world’s largest annual workplace charity campaign with more than 200 CFC campaigns each year. The giving season runs from September 1 to December 15. Last year alone, federal employees donated more than $177 million to charities through the CFC.

The CFC is open to all federal employees, which includes military service members. Individuals can choose the charity or multiple nonprofit organizations to make tax deductible donations to.

There are over 18,000 charitable organizations on the CFC’s approved list. These include local charities, national nonprofits and international organizations.

You choose the amount you would like to donate and when you would like to have it deducted from payroll or if you want to make a one-time donation.

The goal of the CFC is to provide monetary support to non-profit organizations that support health and human services. The program is designed to help federal employees find efficient ways to make a difference.

Why should you give through the CFC?

If you plan on making a donation to a charitable organization during the year, using the CFC can make it quick and easy. They can spread your donation out over time so that your charity has a steady income throughout the year.

Unfortunately, dishonest people create elaborate scams to get your money. The CFC checks each nonprofit that applies to be on their approved list of charitable donations for authenticity. You can also do your own research through Charity Navigator. They evaluate charities sighting the actual money that is used for their purpose vs how much is spent on other things so that you can make an informed decision on which to donate to.

Who should you give to?

It is up to you and your family to decide which group to donate to. Military families tend to give to nonprofit military-related causes.

More than $2.5 billion annually is donated to the over 40,000 American charities with military-related missions.

Most of these organizations do wonderful work, but some are not very transparent, are not financially stable, are not accountable and do not help service members and veterans as much as they claim. Do your research to make sure your money is well spent.

Here are 6 military related charities you can trust to use donations appropriately.

Consider Supporting These Veterans Organizations with the CFC

It is up to you and your family to decide which group to donate to. Military families tend to give to nonprofit military-related causes.

The American Red Cross: Their goal is to respond to emergencies nationally and internationally. 90.1% of their donations go directly to the program. This includes providing food and shelter to people affected by disasters, collecting blood through blood drives, supporting troops and their families and training people in first aid.

Fisher House Foundation: 91.7% of their profits go directly to providing comfort homes to military and veterans’ families, at no cost to them, when they need to be close to a treatment facility for a family member. Amazingly, there is at least one Fisher House at every major military medical center in America.

DAV (Disabled American Veterans) Charitable Service Trust: 95.8% of their donations go directly to their program to help physically and psychologically injured veterans. They provide food, shelter and necessities to homeless and at-risk veterans. They also provide accessibility and mobility items to veterans with vision or hearing impairments.

Southeastern Guide Dogs: They received a 97.34 rating, out of 100, on Charity Navigator. One of their programs is Paws for Patriots. This provides veterans with visual impairments guide dogs, veteran assistance dogs to veterans with PTSD, and facility therapy dogs to major military medical centers.

Hope For The Warriors®: Receiving a 94.18 rating, this group offers comprehensive support programs for service members, veterans, and military families that help them with transition, health and wellness, peer engagement, and connections to community resources.

Our Military Kids: 94.1% of funds go directly to provide support through grants to the children of National Guard and Military Reserve personnel who are deployed, as well as to children of injured service members in all branches. Funds can go toward extracurricular activities, tutoring, and to programs that help nurture children while a parent is deployed or recovering from injury.

Which veterans’ organizations do you donate to through the CFC?

Privatization Proposal Leaves Many Questions Unanswered

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In the ongoing battle to retain commissary benefits, privatization is one option being considered. The hope is that privatization will eliminate the $1.5 billion DeCA budgetary shortfall.

Several large retail companies were asked to provide insight on what such a program might look like. Though the names of those solicited was not revealed, it’s hard to imagine that retailers like Walmart and Target weren’t in the mix.

But is privatization of the commissaries really the answer? Let’s break down this proposal.

Would Prices Go Up?

Many might be surprised to learn that most grocers operate at a profit margin significantly less than the 5% surcharge currently charged by commissaries. And that profit margin includes the cost of facility maintenance, labor, and taxes, plus shipping and distribution. Combined with the national distribution capabilities, massive buying power, and private label options of companies like Walmart, it’s unlikely that the overall cost of most items at a privately managed commissary would go up. We might pay more for some items, but less for others.

However, commissary pricing is almost always less expensive for high-ticket items like dairy and meat.

Would a major retailer be willing to reduce an already skinny profit margin to ensure prices on these items stayed the same?

What about taxes? There is currently no tax at the commissary. Would the same be true for a privately managed facility?

And let’s not forget about our OCONUS commissaries. Is a large retailer in a position to manage these overseas locations?

Are there any restrictions on a private company conducting business in foreign country? Would those restrictions potentially add to the cost of items sold there?

And would a private company be willing to eat losses to ensure service members and their families still have access to the products they need at the prices they can afford? Or would those costs, in turn, cause an increase in pricing at OCONUS locations?

Would Jobs Be Lost?

Approximately 60% of DeCA’s 18,00 employees are veterans, dependents and spouses. Any potential for the loss of jobs is reason enough to give careful consideration to any kind of management transition.

That being said, retailers like Walmart have employment programs for military spouses and veterans.

Is it realistic to assume that some employees would be allowed to keep their jobs? Probably, but the big question is would they be kept at the same rate of pay and offered the same benefits?

And how many current DeCA positions would be eliminated due to duplication within a current private provider’s business structure? Positions like purchasing, logistics, accounting, human resources and others could be in jeopardy.

Will Privatization Create Competition with AAFES?

In a recent report presented to Congress, the success of the AAFES Exchange program relies heavily on a close relationship with commissaries.

But with private retailers, even those typically seen as grocery-only, offering up everything from holiday décor to furniture, would privatization create a conflict of interest? Would those retailers be willing to eliminate those items? If not, would the loss in potential sales at exchanges throw a currently self-supported business model into ruin?

Is Privatization a Viable Option?

With so many questions left unanswered and the unlikely willingness of a major retailer to accept the rules that restrict profit for commissaries, privatization hardly seems like the answer to DoD’s budgetary woes.

But in truth, any push to eliminate or change the program feels likes overkill. While the $1.5 billion budget deficit looks like a large sum, it is less than 1% of the total defense budget.

According to a recent nonpartisan report, every single taxpayer dollar spent equates to nearly double the return in value of benefit given to service members and their families.

Is there any other benefit program that can boast such a claim? And what about a plan B? Should implemented privatization fail to support a pricing structure that provides the same level of value, will additional taxpayer dollars then be called upon to increase service member pay to bridge the gap?

Ultimately, it comes down to this: Are the risks of privatizing the commissary worth the potential loss of such a widely used program? Is it worth the loss or erosion of yet another benefit promised to a community who already sacrifices so much in service to their country?

What do you think it means that a “significant number of companies” have expressed interest in operating the commissaries?

How to Find a Work From Home Job

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The never-ending cycle of hunting for a new job is a struggle we military spouses know all too well. Many spouses turn to work from home opportunities as a way to remain employed despite moving every 3 years.

How to Find a Work From Home Job

Do you work from home? How did you find your work from home job?

But sometimes finding a work from home job is enough to make you question your sanity.

Do steady, dependable and legitimate work from home opportunities exist?

Of course they do!

Check out this list of work from home resources and then get to work!

Work from Home Job Boards

Telecommuting and remote work are no longer the oddball, sketchy positions they used to be. Tons of reputable companies offer work from home positions in areas like communications, customer service and project management. There are lots of job boards out there. Here are a few with good reputations:

  1. Flexjobs.com. There is a fee for access to the site ($50 per year, with options of quarterly or monthly subscriptions), but this is one of the top work from home job boards out there. Search for freelance and remote opportunities listed by hundreds of well-known companies.
  2. VirtualVocations.com. This site requires an annual fee, but offers a great list of remote work opportunities. Jobs include computer and data entry work, to writing, marketing and more.
  3. Indeed.com. Free to use, just put “Remote” in the location search field to find all kinds of telecommute and remote positions. You can even set up keyword alerts so you don’t have to visit the site every day.

Work from Home Jobs Where You Are the Boss

Starting your own business might be the best work from home opportunity out there, but it does require you to get smart on business laws and regulations. State, county and even city laws can impact the kinds of businesses you can run from home. They also regulate taxes. If you live on-post or overseas, additional rules may apply, so check with your housing office.

  1. Get Crafty. If you’re a master with a glue gun, crochet hook or paintbrush, consider turning your hobby into a great home-based business. Sites like Etsy.com, Artfire.com and Amazon Handmade take all hassle of building an e-commerce website. Good pictures are essential, so if you can’t take them, hire a photographer who can.
  2. Cottage Industries. Many states have cottage industry laws that are designed to help nurture budding home-based businesses. If you can bake like a master or if you grow tomatoes like there’s no tomorrow, consider selling your wares and produce at local farmers markets. Each state (and sometimes county) has different rules, so be sure to do your research.
  3. In-Home Child Care. In-home child care can be a great way to earn an income while helping other military families. Just like other businesses, check your state, county, city and military installation rules for running this kind of business for children.
  4. Direct Sales. If you love to meet new people and try out great products, direct sales might be the job for you. Choose from a vast array of products – everything from make-up and home goods to food and wine – and work as much or as little as you like. Some direct sales companies will even ship to FPO/APO boxes, though specific regulations and rules apply, so make sure you check with the company you are interested in and your installation. The Direct Selling Association website is a great place to start.

Freelance Jobs for Military Spouses

  1. MadSkills.com. A newly launched military spouse-owned business, MadSkills is out to help connect military spouses with companies who need their mad skills. If you’re a whiz at building websites, graphic design, project management, writing, and more, then check them out. It’s free to create a profile.
  2. Other Freelance Communities. It can take some time to build up a reputation to keep you busy all the time, but there are many freelance communities offering a wide range of freelance opportunities. Check out Freelancer.com, Guru.com and UpWork.com. Free accounts are available, but paying the small upgrade fee can provide greater visibility of your profile and open up a greater field of work. Craigslist can also be a good resource for freelance work, just do your due diligence before accepting any work listed there.
  3. Millie.com, which is managed and run by veterans and military spouses, hires “Scouts.” Scout opportunities are open to active duty, Gold Star spouses or newly retired military spouses who are willing to use their experience PCSing, buying and renting homes, deployments, community involvement and volunteering to help military families transition into new locations. This could include walking through potential rentals or letting a handyman in to do some repairs on a service member’s house.

Do you work from home? How did you find your work from home job?

Expect to See More Cuts to MWR Programs

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Morale, Welfare and Recreation (MWR) is a huge part of military family life. MWR programs in different branches provide much needed support and services to service members and their families.

MWR typically provides staffing and funding for libraries, pools, arts and crafts centers, woodworking shops and auto hobby centers. Other support programs include sports and recreation programs for adults and children. This could include team sports and physical fitness centers on many bases. MWR also funds on-base child development centers (CDC), youth center, teen center and other youth programs.

There will be a $105 million cut in the Army MWR budget in FY 2017.

This is in addition to a separate 23% workforce reduction over 2 years in Army Community Service Centers. These cuts could result in the closure of some facilities and programs. In addition, the budget cuts could result in hours being reduced or fees increased. Army soldiers and their families are the most impacted by these cuts. The cuts took effect on October 1.

The garrison commander will determine how cuts are applied at each base. This means that services and resources impacted will be varied by location. Army families should expect to feel the effects in calendar year 2017.

Army officials, including Lt. Gen Kenneth R. Dahl of Army Installation Command Management, have committed to maintaining CDC funding.

Many Army posts have already been readjusting services and programs for the last 5 years. Some bases have been working to offset costs through investing in programs. The investments ensured that the programs were either profitable or breaking even. Those that did not meet this benchmark were removed or totally revamped.

Outdoor recreation, arts and crafts, and auto skill shops are most likely to be affected by these cuts. Fitness centers could also see reduced hours and staffing.

Volunteers may be able to staff some programs. However, the program structure would need to allow volunteer support. This would allow some services to continue operating, even with the budget cuts.

The cuts should not affect remote or isolated duty stations where comparable services are not available off-base.

Four Army posts should expect to see impacts from the MWR cuts in the near future.

Expect to See More Cuts to MWR Programs

Is your military base impacted by MWR program cuts?

Fort Carson, Colorado:

The 4th Infantry Division will continue to provide staffing coverage for gyms and fitness centers. There will be slight, $1 or less, increase in fees for some programs. The Friday Night Date and Caring Saturday programs are also slated to be reduced. MWR funds both programs. Programs that are costly or have low turn-out are also on the chopping block.

Fort Huachuca, Arizona:

MWR is cutting $500,000. Ammo sales and weapon rentals will stop at the Sportsman’s Center. Skeet and trap shooting, plus Saturday Range 3, will still be available for people who bring their own weapons. There is no word about additional cuts.

Fort Jackson, South Carolina:

This base will see significant cuts in MWR programs and services. One fitness center will completely close. The other 3 centers will be open for 90 hours weekly. The library will be open 5 days instead of 7. One pool will close. MWR funded recreation trips are going to be completely cut. The auto hobby center will be open 4 days instead of 5.

Fort Sill, Oklahoma:

Fort Sill is facing a 25% cut in taxpayer funding. The library’s hours will be reduced. There will also be new fees for the pools, outdoor recreation and special events or programs.

Will other military branches be impacted by MWR cuts?

The budget cuts will also impact joint service bases where Army MWR has the lead. This includes bases that previously had both or all branches providing MWR programs, but switched to have these services provided only by the Army.

The Navy has also made cuts to its MWR programs. Many bases have closed art and craft centers, wood shops and auto centers. There are no additional changes predicted or anticipated this year.

The Marine Corps has not scheduled any cuts to its MWR programs this year. However, the service will continue to look at services and programs.

The Air Force has not released information about potential MWR service cuts.

While these services do not plan to cut services at this time, MWR programs could be changed or removed in the future.

What do you think about the cuts to MWR programs at military bases?

Why I Need a New Best Friend at Every Duty Station

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“It takes a village to raise a child.”

While I wholeheartedly agree with that statement, I also think that we can just drop the whole “to raise a child” bit. For me, it just takes a village. By village, I mean friends. Especially a best friend.

Why I Need a New Best Friend at Every Duty Station

Finding a new best friend at every duty station is tough, but it’s so worth it!

Yes, we all have that one best best friend. The guy or gal who knows all of your secrets since the beginning of time. Who has been with you through the best and worst of times.

As military spouses, we can also benefit from having a best friend at each duty station.

It’s so comforting to have someone that gets you. When your spouse is gone or working late, it’s nice to have someone to explore your new location with. It’s great for trying out all those cutesy cafes, wandering around historic districts and even watching that rom-com for the millionth time.

Finding that best friend over and over and over again is just plain hard though!

First you have to put yourself out there in a serious way. It means meeting the neighbors, mingling with other military spouses in the new unit and trying out new clubs or groups.

Then you have to follow-up. Send texts, become Facebook friends or send out smoke signals. Sometimes, even that isn’t enough.

After you find a friend, then begins the vetting process to determine best friend potential. You need to dig into shared interests, common agreements about life and a joint love of wacky jokes (or whatever your thing might be).

If it’s not a good match, you’re stuck starting over again!

Sometimes, finding a new best friend can seem like climbing Everest: worthwhile, but a battle to accomplish. Just doing this a few times in a lifetime is unbelievably hard. Finding a new best friend every 3 years, or less, can seem nearly insurmountable! It’s almost enough to want to give up on the whole idea of a bestie and just stick to casual acquaintances.

You still have people to hang with, but without all the stress of being joined at the hip. Or having to “replace” your friend when one of you moves.

It’s tough finding a new best friend, yes, but it is so worth it!

Your new best friend could be where you least expect. I’ve found best friends while running, in my spouse’s office and through friends. She or he could be the person right across the street!

Part of finding a new best friend is going to involve putting yourself out there, yes. So many friend-finding opportunities are just part of the military life!

Mandatory fun days, pre-deployment briefs and living on-base are all chances to bump into someone who could be your PERSON.

Before you know it, you are swapping salty military spouse stories, sharing recipes and are inseparable.

There are also other great ways to find your next best friend. Check out a local fitness meet-up, like Stroller Warriors or a cross-fit box.

If you are religious, seek out a church, temple or Bible study in your neck of the woods.

When you come with youngsters, find a preschool support group like MOPS or a gym with a child care co-op program.

For those heading to work, your new pal could be your desk mate or office neighbor.

No matter how you found your new best friend, having one is important.

When the going gets tough, military spouses need someone to rely on. With our spouses gone often, or mostly in-and-out, a best friend becomes the person I rely on.

When I’m sick, she brings me medicine or chicken soup or takes the kids for the afternoon. We swap date night child care duties or have weekly dinner/play dates when the guys are gone. If the car breaks down, I know I have someone to call from the mechanic. I always have a dinner partner when cookie dough a la tube is on the menu too.

It’s why I need to have a best friend at every duty station.

I need a village to help get me through the tough times and to celebrate the best times. My best friends, no matter where I am or where they are, have helped me to survive and thrive in this military life.

How did you find your best friend at your current duty station?

Your SKILCRAFT Purchases Create Jobs for People Who Are Blind

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Meaningful change doesn’t happen overnight. Long-term improvements that empower communities do not start and end with a single person.

Achieving tangible outcomes from concentrated efforts takes dedication, collaboration and compassion. When these three factors merge, long-term positive change for our country and our citizens happens. That’s what happened when National Industries for the Blind (NIB), the federal government and the Defense Commissary Agency (DeCA) joined together for the mutual benefits of manufacturing SKILCRAFT® products and making them available in military commissaries and exchanges.

In 1938, President Franklin D. Roosevelt (FDR) signed legislation requiring federal government agencies to purchase certain products produced by people who are blind. In signing this law, FDR confirmed his belief that Americans with disabilities could produce high-quality, competitively priced products for federal and military customers.

During World War II, people who were blind working at NIB associated nonprofit agencies manufactured mops, brooms, mailbags and pillowcases for service members. In the 1950s, military commissaries began selling SKILCRAFT dishcloths, doormats and clothespin bags. The SKILCRAFT logo lets shoppers know that these high-quality products are made by people who are blind.

Today, NIB and its associated agencies produce more than 5,000 SKILCRAFT products. NIB and its nationwide network of associated agencies are the largest employer for people who are blind in the United States. Last year, NIB and its associated agencies generated nearly 500 new jobs for people who are blind, including veterans who sustained injuries in Afghanistan and Iraq. Today, more than 5,600 people who are blind are employed in NIB’s network.

The successful partnership between NIB and DeCA is an example of how #InclusionWorks for both people who are blind and the organizations that hire them to produce high-quality products.

The hashtag #InclusionWorks is this year’s theme for National Disability Employment Awareness Month (NDEAM), “a nationwide campaign celebrating the skills and talents workers with disabilities bring to our workplaces,” according to the U.S. Department of Labor’s Office of Disability Employment Policy. This federal observance, first recognized by Congress in 1945, is held every October.

“By fostering a culture that embraces individual differences, including disabilities, businesses profit by having a wider variety of tools to confront challenges,” said Jennifer Sheehy, deputy assistant secretary of labor for disability employment policy. “Our nation’s most successful companies proudly make inclusion a core value. They know that inclusion works. It works for workers, it works for employers, it works for opportunity, and it works for innovation.”

Here’s how #InclusionWorks for SKILCRAFT products sold at military commissaries.

NIB recognizes that meaningful employment leads to more independent lives for people who are blind. Despite continued gains in employment, seven out of 10 working-age Americans who are blind are not employed. This statistic fuels NIB’s mission to create, sustain and improve employment opportunities for people who are blind.

NIB and its associated nonprofit agencies:

  • Employ more than 5,600 people who are blind across the country
  • Pay an average hourly rate of $10.92
  • Offer rehabilitative services to more than 128,000 people who are blind
  • Operate 151 Base Supply Center stores on military and federal government facilities
  • Produce 7,000+ different products, including 5,000+ SKILCRAFT products

Each of us, as commissary shoppers, have the opportunity to create jobs for people who are blind by purchasing these high-quality SKILCRAFT products. When we buy sponges, mops, kitchen gadgets, plastic flatware and brooms, we play a role in how #InclusionWorks in our country.

Your purchases lead to opportunities.

Opportunities lead to jobs.

Jobs lead to independence.

When you purchase SKILCRAFT products at your local commissary, you help to create jobs for people who are blind.

That’s how #InclusionWorks in America.

For more information about SKILCRAFT products or NIB, visit http://NIB.org/ShopSKILCRAFT.

Military Travel Discounts to Get You There

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Holiday travel will soon be upon us. With all of the added costs of holiday meals and gifts, don’t let the high cost of travel keep you from enjoying your time away.

Check out these great military travel discounts to help you get where you need to go and enjoy your time away.

Military Travel Discounts to Get You There

What is your favorite military travel discount?

Military Travel Discounts on Airfare

Space-A travel is one of the best ways to save money on airfare. Never flown Space-A before? No worries! Fellow MilitaryShoppers.com writer Julie Provost’s article Space-A Travel for the Military Spouse has you covered.

You’ll need to be flexible with your arrival and departure dates and times, but Space-A is one of the most cost-effective ways for military families to travel.

If Space-A isn’t available, check out these other airline discounts:

  • Southwest. Discounts are available to service members by calling Southwest at 1-800-I-FLY-SWA. You will need to show a military ID upon check-in to get the discount.
  • American Airlines offers a military discount, but you have to call 1-800-433-7300 for access to those special rates. They also offer a 50% discount on pets within the continental United States and Canada.
  • Delta Airlines. Delta has a great military discount program. Get discounts on airline travel by calling 1-800-325-1771. You can also bundle travel options by visiting their Military Vacation page.
  • US Airways. Service members and their dependents can take advantage of special military rates by calling 1-800-428-4322.

Military Travel Discounts When Traveling by Train

It might be a little old fashioned, but if you have a little more time, and you prefer to keep your feet on the ground, consider taking the train.

Even better, make taking the train part of your vacation plans. You’ll get to experience travel the way it used to be and see spectacular views you won’t get anywhere else.

  • Amtrak offers a 10% military discount, though some limitations apply. Get all the details on their site.
  • Royal George Route Railroad. Make a train ride part of your vacation and book a trip on the Santa Express. And don’t forget to take advantage of the 10% military discount.
  • Take a trip through the Great Smoky Mountains on the Great Smoky Mountain Railroad and get a 20% military discount.

Military Travel Discounts When Renting a Car

When you rent a car, be sure to ask for a military discount. The following car rental companies offer great military discounts.

If you are a USAA member check their travel site for additional rental car discounts. Get all the specific details by visiting your favorite car rental website.

Other Military Travel Discounts

Sometimes getting off the beaten path means taking the road, or rather the method, less traveled.  If you’re up for a little adventure, consider one of these great travel options. And don’t forget the military travel discount!

  • Taking the bus can be an adventure and Greyhound offers a great military discount. Get 10% off walk-up fares and pay no more than $259 for travel anywhere in the United States.
  • Not everyone knows how to fly a plane, but if you do, take advantage of military discounts when renting aircraft. All American Aviation Services out of Fayetteville, N.C., and serving all of the American southwest offers military discounts on aircraft rentals. Need an aircraft in Southern California? Check out Pacific Air’s military discount. Peak Aviation in Colorado Springs also offers a 5% military discount.
  • If camping or traveling by RV is more your style, check out the Tentsfortroops.com website for campsite and RV site locations that offer free or discounted stay for military service members and their families.

What is your favorite military travel discount?

What I Do When I’m Feeling Lost and Alone

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Silent tears ran down my cheeks. I tried to look straight ahead and listen politely, but my mind was racing with a million questions.

The nurse turned to me and said “sweetie, are you OK?”

I nodded. I wasn’t OK. I wasn’t fine. Inside I was freaking out. Outside I was trying hard to appear calm.

“How often do I need to change the wound dressing?” I asked the nurse.

I was sitting in a surgeon’s outpatient room. I had a minor surgery to remove a cyst near my collarbone. As part of my follow-up care for proper healing and to prevent infection, I needed to have the wound dressing changed twice a day.

“Can I do it myself?” I asked the nurse.

“Of course not. Just ask your husband to do it.” she said.

My husband, of course. That would be the logical solution. But my husband wasn’t at home and wouldn’t be at home that night. He was gone for a week. A military assignment that he couldn’t miss and now I felt lost and alone.

“In that case, ask your mom or your sister,” the nurse said.

I shook my head.

“A close friend?” she offered.

Who in my neighborhood would be the person that I could ask to change the dressings for my minor wound? See even as I type this question, it seems like such a minor thing. But to me at that moment it wasn’t a minor thing.

It was a huge inconvenience. I’m a private person and now I needed to tell an acquaintance that I had a cyst on my collarbone and oh, by the way, can you change my dressings for it?

So embarrassing.

It was a level of friendship that I wasn’t emotionally prepared to climb into with one of my neighbors when I stepped into the surgeon’s office that morning.

I felt so alone. Really truly alone.

Have you ever felt lonely in military life? Do you ever feel so alone even though you are surrounded by the military spouse community?

What I Do When I'm Feeling Lost and Alone

What do you do when you feeling lost and alone?

Feeling lonely is normal. Feeling a little lost and feeling so alone happens to even the most outgoing military spouses. It happens to the perky and positive ones too.

It’s an emotion that can slap you across the face when you realize that you need someone to help you. That’s when I feel alone. I feel alone even though I know I can call any other military spouses in my social circle at any time.

But I know I can’t feel alone for too long. Here’s what I do when I’m feeling alone in military life.

I allow myself to be humble.

In the case of the cyst removal post-surgery care, I need physical help. It wasn’t a pleasant task. It wasn’t like asking a friend out for lunch or coffee. It was a basic medical care kind of request. And there was nothing that this person was going to get out of helping me. No benefit whatsoever.

It’s humbling to ask for help in these kinds of circumstances. You realize all the things that you do independently and take for granted. Depending on the kindness of strangers (even if they are also military spouses) can be a tough pill to swallow.

But in these moments, I allow myself to be humble. I remind myself that it’s perfectly normal to ask for help. In fact, the nurse told me I needed this help. I couldn’t do it myself. I couldn’t be Wonder Woman. I couldn’t be amazingly-awesome-independent military spouse.

In this case, I needed to be a humble, swallow-your-pride military spouse.

I allow myself to forgive.

My immediate reaction to these types of situations is anger toward my husband. Stupid Navy. Stupid deployment. Of course he isn’t here to help me. Of course not. It starts with a seed of frustration, branches off into anger and then flowers with bitter fruit of resentment.

Being mad at my husband for a situation that he can’t control doesn’t bring me any closer to a solution. My anger doesn’t change the fact that I need help and I feel alone.

During these times of loneliness, I allow myself to forgive my husband. Clearly it’s not his mistake. It’s not his error. But I need to tell myself that I forgive him for being gone during this time. Forgiveness brings me a step closer to acceptance. Once I have acceptance that I can’t change his deployment I can focus on what I can control in this situation.

I allow myself to be vulnerable.

When I reflect on periods of loneliness in my life, I find that my feelings of being alone were related to my desire to appear strong instead of weak to others.

I didn’t want others to know that I had a cyst. I didn’t want others to know that I needed help. I worried about what others would think of me instead of allowing myself to be me. I wasn’t allowing myself to be vulnerable.

Being vulnerable is part of friendship. If you don’t allow yourself to be vulnerable, your friendship won’t deepen. Trust can’t happen without secrets. Empathy can’t happen without mistakes. Loyalty can’t happen without alliances.

When I allow myself to be vulnerable with a potential friend I am letting this person know that I value her as a friend. I’m ready to trust her with my personal baggage. I’m ready to let her in.

I’m ready to ask her to change my wound dressing.

Finally I don’t feel so alone anymore.

Do you ever feel lonely in military life? What do you do in those moments when you feel so alone? Tell us in the comments section.

Now Is the Right Time to Transfer Your GI Bill to Your Kids

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A benefit for military service members is the GI Bill. While many take advantage of the great opportunity to go to college with this financial support, others choose to pass it on to their spouse or children.

This option wasn’t always available and might not remain so, which makes now a great time to decide if transferring your GI Bill is the right move for your family.

Now Is the Right Time to Transfer Your GI Bill to Your Kids

Talk to your spouse and children to see if transferring your GI Bill benefits to one or all of them is the right decision for your family. Don’t wait until politicians change, take away, or make receiving these benefits harder.

What is the GI Bill?

The GI Bill is a government program that helps service members meet the financial needs of continuing their education once they leave the military. It was initially only available to the service members who met certain qualifications. Over the years the rules and benefits have changed.

The Post-9/11 GI Bill is the latest form of the bill. It provides money for approved educational programs for up to 36 months of school for service members, which must be used within 15 years after leaving active duty.

In 2009, a law was passed to allow service members to transfer these benefits to their spouses, children or both.

Who is eligible?

Any service member that completed 90 days of aggregate active duty service after Sept. 10, 2001, that is on active duty, or that was honorably discharged or discharged with a service-connected disability after 30 days is eligible.

What is covered?

Monetary funds are available to cover up to 36 months of educational courses for approved programs that include higher education, vocational training and now flight school for example. Other financial support may be provided to cover a monthly housing allowance, annual books and supplies and one-time rural benefits.

Am I eligible to transfer my GI Bill?

In order to transfer your GI Bill, service members must meet certain requirements. Anyone on active duty or Selected Reserve, officer or enlisted, who is eligible for the Post-9/11 GI Bill and also meets these requirements may transfer benefits:

  • Has at least 6 years of service in the Armed Forces (active duty and/or Selected Reserve) on the date of approval and agrees to serve 4 additional years in the Armed Forces from the date of election.
  • Has at least 10 years of service in the Armed Forces (active duty and/or Selected Reserve) on the date of approval, is precluded by either standard policy (by service branch or DoD) or statute from committing to 4 additional years, and agrees to serve for the maximum amount of time allowed by such policy or statute.
  • Transfer requests are submitted and approved while the member is in the Armed Forces.

Why transfer your GI Bill now?

If you, as the service member, do not have any intention of using the entire 36 months of educational benefits, you might want to consider transferring some or all of the benefit to family members. The government started this program as a way of helping service members transition out of the military as well as an incentive to join the military. You have earned these benefits, so don’t let them go unused.

Last year Congress discussed changing the GI Bill benefit to make it more difficult to transfer to family members. They talked about increasing the number of years the service member must commit to in order to transfer the benefit. They also discussed limiting the scope of the benefit.

No legislation on this has been brought up, but the possibility is there. Why leave it to chance if you don’t have to?

How do I transfer my GI Bill?

Active duty service members may designate, modify and revoke a Transfer of Entitlement (TOE) request on the Transfer of Education Benefits (TEB) website.

After approval, there is one more form to turn in before a family member can use these benefits. Family members are required to apply to use the transferred benefits by submitting a VA Form 22-1990e with the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA).

Is there anything else I need to know about transferring the GI Bill to my spouse or children?

Family members enrolled in DEERS that are eligible for benefits at the time of transfer are able to use the benefits.

Spouses are able to use the benefits at the time of transfer, but children must wait until the service member has completed at least 10 years of service. The child or spouse can use it while their sponsor is actively serving or after they leave the military.

Military children cannot use the transferred GI Bill until they finish high school, or an equivalent, or turn 18 years old. The child is entitled to the monthly housing allowance even while their sponsor is on active duty, but the spouse is not. A spouse has 15 years to use the benefits once the service member separates from active duty, but the child does not have this restriction. They do however age out of eligibility at 26 years old.

Talk to your spouse and children to see if transferring your GI Bill benefits to one or all of them is the right decision for your family. Don’t wait until politicians change, take away, or make receiving these benefits harder.

Has your service member transferred his or her Post-9/11 GI Bill to you or your children?

 

Commissary Privatization Is Not the Answer

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We recently published an article, “Commissary Closures: It’s All or Nothing,” and received quite a bit of feedback on it, especially about commissary privatization. Emotions run high when the topic turns to the potential of commissary privatization or even worse, closure.

Don’t panic; your commissary benefits are currently safe.

Commissary Privatization Is Not the Answer

Commissary privatization isn’t the answer. Photo courtesy U.S. Air Force.

The government is however trying to do away with the cost associated with the operation of the commissary. After our article was published, a lot of MilitaryShoppers readers voiced their opinions. Here is what they said:

Char Johnson said

Privatization is NOT the answer! How many benefits do you think taking away from our military (active or retired) will be acceptable! What happened to honor and trust, something our members of Congress don’t seem to recognize? I am a military wife of a retiree. I/we travel to the commissary and exchange at least three times per month, and we utilize our privileges to the max. Don’t take away something that has been earned and promised. Start taking away from those who vote against what we have and what our soldiers have earned.

Mrs. Johnson makes an excellent point, where will the cutting of benefits end? Service members are promised benefits when they join the military. That is a recruiting tool. If men and women are willing to put their lives on the line, getting a few benefits for themselves and their families make a big difference.

Many have already seen significant cuts to what they were promised.

Tricare has had several changes over the years, many of which are not ideal. Retirement benefits have shrunk in size and increased in cost. Education benefits have improved, and the exchange and commissaries have remained a constant. Service men and women, along with their families, have earned these benefits and were promised them.

Now the government wants to save money by taking away some of the $1.3 billion annual Department of Defense subsidy the commissary receives. Millions of dollars have been spent researching how to keep the commissary running without government funds. Many options have been considered including commissary brand products, commissary privatization and variable pricing. So far, none of these are the answer. In the meantime, military families keep shopping at the commissary.

The majority of service members and their families shop at the commissary. It might be just once a year for some but for many, it’s multiple times a month. The slogan “it’s worth the drive” is true. I no longer live near a big commissary, even though we are active duty. The tiny 6-isle commissary 35 minutes away is worth the drive just for the savings on meat alone.

Daryel Covington also makes the drive. He said

I travel about 150 miles round trip sometimes twice a month! BTW, I’m a 70-year-old retiree and need the saving! And no I will not support a price increase nor could I support privatization.

Mr. Covington travels to the commissary to save money and realizes that if the prices go up, the commute won’t be worth it. For some, saving money isn’t the main reason they shop at the commissary though.

William C Simmons said

I am a retired airman who served 26 years. My wife and I are today over 80 years old and shop the commissary once every week. Our children have long left home and we live alone. The commissary is a great convenience to us. Of course we could shop local grocery stores; it would not be the Military Family we loved for so many years.

I share the same sentiment with Mr. Simmons. I love saving money of course, but I mostly like to shop at the commissary because of the military community or family feeling.

I grew up doing our weekly grocery shopping with my mom at the commissary and now I do it with my son. While the Simmons don’t have any children of their own left at home, they feel like they can still shop at the commissary and have that military family feeling.

If commissary privatization is realized, that sense of family may get pushed out of the way for corporate profits.

That’s what all of this comes down to, money. The government wants to save money and we just want to save our benefit. They have spent millions of dollars researching how to save money. Commissary privatization isn’t the answer.

Charles leaves us with this thought. He said

The amount the commissary gets subsidized is a small price given to our active duty troops/retirees and their families for the many contributions and sacrifices they gave to our country. So much more funds could be saved by eliminating the enormous careless [government] spending.

If we agree that commissary privatization is not the answer, what is the answer when Congress needs to cut the funding for commissaries? Share your thoughts in the comments section.