Military Life News

Military Life News, Commissary Rewards and Military Discounts

More Commissary Brand Items Available to Shoppers

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The commissary is a consistent source of quality products at good prices. Shoppers know that they will be able to find the essentials, like milk and bread, as well as specialty products, like German potato dumping mix or Korean chili paste.

Now the commissary has even more value in store as they continue to roll out their store brand products.

Private Label Price Perks

Store brand, also called private label, products are offered at lower prices to customers. Stores offer brands developed in-house or through labels created with their retail suppliers. This helps to cut out the middleman and provide quality products at lower prices.

Major grocery retailers, like Giant, Walmart and Target, have offered private label products for years. These brands often span the spectrum of grocery items and dry goods, like toilet paper or disposable plates and utensils.

Recent surveys and studies indicated that commissary patrons were shopping off base in order to take advantage of sales and lower prices on store brands at major retailers. Approximately 20% of sales at these retailers involved their own private label brands.

3 Brands for All Commissary Products

The Defense Commissary Agency (DeCA) has produced 3 store brand labels, with their private label supplier SpartanNash, to encompass different major product types.

Freedom’s Choice is for food items. Right now, many commissaries are carrying bottled water and cheese under the Freedom’s Choice label. Other items available at stateside commissaries include cheese, rice and dry beans, shelf-stable juices, water enhancers and powdered soft drinks,

HomeBase is for non-food products, like household items and cleaning supplies. Commissaries are currently selling HomeBase brand paper plates and trash bags. Some stateside commissaries are also stocking foam and plastic plates, paper towels and bath tissue.

TopCare products cover medical and first aid products, dietary supplements and beauty needs. Many stores already have TopCare antibiotic ointment and acid reduction medication on the shelves. TopCare is not a DeCA exclusive brand.

Quality and Price

The commissary stands behind their new store brands, with rigorous testing to national standards. All edible products meet or exceed USDA wholesomeness standards. All products undergo extensive testing for quality and performance, according to the FAQ section on Commissaries.com.

Each product features a money back guarantee on their label.

TopCare, HomeBase and Freedom’s Choice are offered at prices that are competitive with national brands and products.

Product Roll-Out

Many stateside commissaries are already stocking many Freedom’s Choice, HomeBase and TopCare products. Approximately 400 products were anticipated to be on CONUS store shelves by the close of 2017.

Overseas commissaries are approximately 6 weeks behind stateside stores in stocking in-house brands on their shelves. This is due to time delays as a result of shipping products to military bases in Europe and Asia.

Products will continue to be added to the 3 core store brands over the next few years. DeCA’s goal is to produce 3,000 to 4,000 products in the Freedom’s Choice, HomeBase and TopCare lines.

As products continue to roll-out, the items available will vary between commissaries. This is based on size and location of individual stores. As noted, OCONUS commissaries will see new commissary brand items about 6 weeks after they appear in stateside stores.

Have you tried the commissary’s new brands: Freedom’s Choice, HomeBase and TopCare? Tell us what you think in the comments.

4 Problems Military Children Face That Are Rarely Talked About

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Shining eyes and happy smiles. This is how the public often sees military children. These joyful homecoming images are broadcast on the news, shared on social media and printed in newspapers and magazines.

While everything seems wonderful and picture-perfect, many military children face hidden struggles behind the scenes.

4 Problems Military Children Face That Aren’t Talked About

Anxiety and Separation Fears

Over the last 15 years, deployment and operational tempos have been high. This means that for many military children, mom, dad or both parents have been frequently away from home.

Forward deployed troops have been in active combat zones, taking fire. Even at home, accidents happen during TDY, TAD or routine training exercises.

All of these separations and “what if” situations take a heavy toll on military children. Often these stressors can show up in behavioral, emotional and academic changes.

4 Problems Military Children Face That Are Rarely Talked About

While everything seems wonderful and picture-perfect, many military children face personal struggles.

Children might act out at school, home or both. They could show unusual aggression or attention-seeking behaviors. Some children withdraw or become distant from friends, teachers and family members. Still other children become noticeably upset when their parent leaves, even for short periods, or when there are unexpected changes, like a substitute teacher at school. Grades might decline too.

All of these reactions are common and can coexist.

Solutions:

If you or a teacher notices a significant difference in your child’s emotions, behaviors or academic performance, take notice. Acting sooner rather than later can make all the difference.

A great first step is to reach out to the Military Family Life Counselor on your base or the school’s counselor. Set up a meeting to share your concerns with them and give permission for them to engage with your child. After speaking with your child, they might be able to offer options for ongoing solutions or care.

Another great step is to connect with Military One Source. They offer free, confidential help on the phone and through referrals to providers near you. You might be able to access mental health care and solutions quickly with this resource.

Next, reach out to your child’s school and teachers. Explain your concerns and ask to develop a plan together to help address the changes in your child.

It’s important to approach this as a team, with mental health providers, school and home working together to help your child get back on track.

Gaps in Learning

On average, military children move 6 to 9 times during their K-12 school years. Every time a military family moves, they must adjust to a new set of state learning standards and expectations. Even if a child is able to stay within the DoDEA system, there might still be small gaps in knowledge.

With each move, military children miss several weeks of class time. All that absent time can add up, with missing information about fractions here or confusion about phonics there.

Solutions:

Working with a tutor, either in person or online, is a great way for military families to help close those academic gaps. Tutor.com offers free online tutoring for military families.

Additionally, many military spouses are credentialed teachers. Often these education professionals offer reasonably priced tutoring and have a good understanding of what military children need.

School Transferring Issues

For students in high school, a PCS can spell disaster for their academic ranking, graduation timeline or transcript. Too often there is confusion about which courses are required at different schools or how GPAs are calculated. While schools are supposed to make good faith efforts to ensure on-time graduation, there can still be issues.

Students who have IEPs and 504 Plan, as well as those qualified for Gifted and Talented Education, also face issues when they PCS.

There are no federal protections and only limited state guidelines for students identified as Gifted and Talented. This means that a student could qualify in School A, but be dropped from the program in School B.

IEPs and 504 Plans are federally protected education plans that must be followed with fidelity. Even during a PCS, plans are supposed to be followed as closely as possible. However, different states have varying qualification and classification standards, as well as different resources available. IEPs and 504 Plans can look very different school to school, and state to state.

Plus, for all of these different education plans, the school has the right to re-evaluate students to determine eligibility.

Solutions:

Before you move, connect with your next school and coordinate transferring documents from the old school. Let the new school know about any special circumstances or educational needs your child might have.

As you’re transferring, connect with the School Liaison Officer (SLO) at your next base. They can often assist with transferring everything that your child needs. They should be able to assist you with using MIC3, an agreement designed to assist military children moving between states.

If you get stuck or have concerns, you might need more help than the SLO can provide or that you can’t navigate solo. At that point, it’s time to consider hiring a professional education advocate. There are several advocates in our community that specialize in assisting military families and/or work remotely.

Caring for Injured Parents

All too often, parents return from deployment with physical or mental injuries. These injuries might be very visible or they could be hidden and undiagnosed. Either way, military children are involved in the daily care of that parent and must cope with life changes.

There are many changes to family dynamics and behaviors when a parent returns with hidden or visible injuries. Too often children are shouldering a larger share of adult responsibility at home.

The stressors are similar to experiencing anxiety or stress due to deployments or separations. The symptoms of a child who is overwhelmed with coping with life changes due to their parent’s injuries might be the same as well.

Solutions:

If your family is experiencing changes due to your service member’s injury, it’s important to reach out for help. The Elizabeth Dole Foundation offers resources and connections to help caregivers and families of wounded warriors.

Asking for assistance from other families members, friends or the community is important. It may feel hard, but building a strong team is important for everyone’s long-term success and well being.

Finally, beginning individual and family counseling can be beneficial. You can find a provider through a referral from your doctor or through Military One Source’s resources.

What problems do you think military children face?

(Full disclosure: Meg Flanagan operates MilKids Ed, an education advocacy service and blog for military families.)

5 Benefits of Pets for Veterans

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Whether your pet has fur, feathers or scales, there are great benefits to owning a pet. For veterans, having an animal to love and care for can be life-changing and incredibly positive.

5 Benefits of Having a Pet for Veterans

Structure and Routine

Veterans have spent years of waking up at zero dark thirty for morning PT, lunch at the chow hall and an evening that starts when the bugle sounds “Retreat.” It can be hard to be suddenly cut loose in the civilian world. There is no longer someone else calling the shots or writing the orders.

All at once, veterans leaving active duty are without the structure and routines that have governed their lives for so long.

Pets can add that structure back into their lives. Dogs need to be walked regularly. Cats need their litter changed routinely. Even fish and reptiles live by a schedule of interaction and cleaning needs. Every animal needs to be fed on the regular, too. Then there are the veterinarian appointments. A pet’s needs automatically create the need for routine and schedule.

This type of routine can ground a veteran and replace some of the structural void left after military service. Pets provide a higher or greater purpose that could motivate a veteran to find a new non-military rhythm for life.

Companionship and Camaraderie

You often hear military troops refer to each other as brothers or sisters. The military creates a structure of shared work and deepens relationships through tough times.

After leaving the military, or even transitioning from active duty to the reserves, a veteran might find this part of their life lacking. There aren’t built-in friendships. For single veterans, it could feel as though no one needs their presence to survive.

A furry friend can provide friendship and love, plus a reason to get out of bed every day. Our pets are entirely dependent on us to survive.

Pets are there 100% of the time. Dogs and cats are ready for snuggles, long conversations and play time. Many dogs, and even some cats, enjoy going for walks with their humans. Relationships and bonds are formed and deepen over time.

Animals often know when their humans are feeling sad, angry or upset. They might react, just like a human friend, with extra love and support. While they can’t talk back, a pet is always there to listen.

Ease Mental Health Concerns

Many veterans return from active service with mental health concerns or even injuries that impact their emotions. Veterans can experience depression, PTSD and other mental health illnesses. Often these can go undiagnosed.

Owning a pet can help to ease symptoms of depression, anxiety and other mental health illnesses. By providing the regular routines and companionship, many veterans feel less alone. Feeling like they have love and support can boost moods and help to lift symptoms of depression and anxiety.

Note: if you or someone you know is experiencing a mental health crisis, please contact a medical professional for assistance and advice.

Provide Life Assistance

When veterans return from deployment, they often come home with injuries, both visible and hidden. Coping with these life changes and navigating the civilian world can be a challenge.

Often, a service animal can be of assistance. Many service pets provide services, like opening doors or guiding visually impaired humans safely. Other pets are medical alert animals, signaling when their human is in distress or trained to contact emergency services. Some pets offer official mental and emotional support.

For veterans who are finding their way again after injury, working with a service animal can be a vital part of their treatment plan.

Not every veteran will qualify for a service dog, which can be expensive to adopt and train. First, veterans must have a diagnosed disability. Second, they must work with a dog that is temperamentally appropriate to assist them given the specifics of the veteran’s disability.

For veterans who are interested in working with a service dog, Operation We Are Here maintains a list of organizations who might be able to help.

Serve a Higher Purpose

Veterans have offered to sacrifice anything and everything, including their lives, in the defense of our country. This can be seen as a truly noble cause, serving a higher calling or purpose.

It can be hard to return to or enter the civilian workforce after dedicating your life to service.

Rescuing a pet from an animal shelter can help to fulfill that call to duty. There are thousands of loving animals in need at shelters around the nation. Too many of them will never leave to find their forever homes.

When veterans consider adding a pet to their family, it can be rewarding to adopt their new friend from an animal rescue or shelter. For veterans who want to assist animals in other ways, they can volunteer or foster pets in need.

Do you have a pet? How does your pet help your veteran?

What I Wish I Could Change About Military Life

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Mostly, I love the military life I live. Exciting duty stations are possible every 3 years. The military community is strong and supportive. Plus, this life has given me the change to pursue a passion for writing and education advocacy.

Need I even mention the chance to play Cinderella at least once a year? Those dress blues still make my heart flutter after almost a decade.

Still, though, there are things I wish I could change. I believe that these changes would, largely, benefit the entire military community.

What I Wish I Could Change About Military Life

What do you wish you could change about your military life?

What I Wish I Could Change About Military Life

Tour Time

In some places, it just seems too short. In others, too long. I understand that there will never be a happy medium that fits every location or situation, but something needs to give. Generally, I think that longer tours at most CONUS posts would benefit the troops and their dependents.

When military families are required to move, on average, every 2.5 years, it creates ripple effects for the whole family. Personally, I’ve changed my career in major ways due to our PCS tempo.

By the time I arrive at a duty station, get licensed to teach and find a position, it’s practically time to move again!

I have not ever taught anywhere for longer than 2 consecutive school years. Even the one time I made that happen, it was broken up due to pregnancy and maternity leave.

For children, moving so often can cause stress and distress at school. Military children are perpetually the “new kid” at school. By the time they make friends and settle into a routine, it’s time to pack their things and hit the road. Every 3 years or so, everything starts from scratch at the new school. Education plans, athletic pursuits and extracurricular activities are interrupted, changed or dropped due to frequent moves.

For troops, becoming an expert in one job in one location doesn’t seem like a bad thing either. Especially for positions that interact with the public or those carrying out sensitive operations, tenure might be a great thing. I understand the military wants troops to experience their career field from different angles and deploy with different units. However, it seems like service members are PCSed just as they are gaining total expertise in a field or becoming the go-to person in a shop. Just when you need the expert the most, you swap that person out for someone just learning the ropes. This isn’t helpful to anyone!

It seems to me that extending tour times would benefit troops and their families with additional stability at work and home. Military spouses could build solid careers or employment history. Children could at least attend one school level in just a single place. Troops could become develop their expertise and level up their position.

Hurry Up and Wait

I understand the need for secrecy and security. After all, this is our nation’s defense system we are talking about. But some things are just plain silly.

For example, board results and orders.

Troops submit their packages, which are reviewed and recommended (or not) to whatever board(s) that individual is eligible for. That board meets, discusses the service members presented to them, and makes decisions: promote or not; career field school or not; PCS or PCA or not.

And then everyone waits for weeks or months on end.

Why?

I can understand the issues perhaps a decade or more ago. Communicating all of these selections and coordinating placements took time. Today we probably have an app for that or at least a very large spreadsheet. There surely must be a more timely and efficient way to coordinate board result announcements.

The wait is stressful. It’s filled with anxiety about “what if’s.” Or a service member is fully confident in positive news, only to have a devastating blow delivered.

Then there are the PCS orders. I get that the needs of the military come first. But could they arrive in a more timely fashion? There are only so many individuals in a service in each career field, and there are only so many open positions available. Why is there such a song and dance routine about where people will go to next?

Am I the Only One?

Which brings me to my last beef: OCONUS PCSing in general.

I need this question answered: Am I the very first person to move OCONUS with a small child and a dog?

No really. I’m not joking.

Based on how my last PCS was handled, it would appear that my family was the very first ever to attempt such a move. Nothing happened in a timely fashion, every little thing was an issue and there was so much miscommunication that I still can’t tell what was actually true.

Additionally, from the chatter on military spouse Facebook pages, it seems as if we are not, in fact, the first to attempt this move. However, it would seem that the folks in charge of PCSing forget how to do these things or communicate the SOP to troops or dependents.

Everyone is confused, upset and anxious because no one knows what is going on. Ever. We can’t get straight answers or seek advice from others because every single service and duty station operates differently.

Get. It. Together.

Create one streamlined way for everyone to move to a given destination, especially for OCONUS PCS moves. Make a fun and informative manual and distribute it widely. Then be done.

Maybe if the folks in charge of facilitating the moving process weren’t moving every few years, everything would run smoother.

Now it’s your turn: what do you wish you could change about your military life?

What I Wish I’d Known Before Becoming a Military Spouse

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I’ve heard it, have you?

“You knew what you were getting into.”

It’s often delivered by a more seasoned spouse when another person appears to be complaining about military life. Other times we hear this from well-meaning members of the civilian population. Either way, I most certainly did not fully grasp what I was getting into when I married my military husband. I’m betting you didn’t know either.

What I Wish I'd Known Before Becoming a Military Spouse

What do you wish you had known before you became a military spouse?

What I Wish I’d Known Before Becoming a Military Spouse

How to Move Homes

Before that first PCS, the biggest “move” of my life was for a one-semester study abroad in, wait for it, Canada. I’m from New England. It was like moving next door.

As I dove into the military spouse world, I quickly realized I was in over my head. Everyone else had binders and plans and apps and lists of serial numbers (with photos attached).

I had, well, nothing.

Over time, I’ve picked up a few tricks. I wash and then bag clothes, bed linens and towels. Food and water are supplied for the packers and movers, but I watch them like a hawk too. I always leave some extra toilet paper in the bathroom along with some room spray.

All the Acronyms

I’m a teacher. We use acronyms for everything. I thought I was prepared…until the military came to town. At first, my eyes glazed over and my mouth went slack, complete with a strand of drool. Every other “word” out of my husband’s mouth seemed to be a random string of letters.

Luckily, I found a few great military spouse guidebooks that really explained some of these acronyms to me. The rest? I either asked my spouse, turned to a friend or Googled it. I’m still figuring some acronyms out.

Legal Eagle

Military life goes hand in hand with lawyers, it seems. I knew that real adults needed things, like wills and stuff. I just wasn’t prepared to dive in right away.

Nope, the military had other ideas! I quickly learned what a POA was, and that I would need several different versions to actually run my life during deployment. I also learned about wills, DNRs, insurance policies and SCRA. I wish that someone had sat me down during pre-military marriage counseling for the lawyer talk.

How to Pick a Rental Property

I’m a decade into this ride and I still feel like I’m winging this one for the most part. Luckily, my father-in-law is super handy at home and taught my husband well. But I don’t know that I would know what to look for that indicates a terrible home.

The first time around? Our off-base rental had rats. Another home (or two) had funky windows and an old heating system. Our current on-base home was assigned without other options, but it’s got a few geckos. Yes, you read that right.

I would still love a comprehensive checklist with what to look for in a rental property. If you’ve got this, please hit me up!

Ask for Help

Before 2008, I mostly flew solo. I felt competent and confident about everything, from school to love to housing. And then I got married and he left for a long time.

I needed help, but I wasn’t sure how to ask for it. I’d never needed anything more serious than a recommendation letter or a little string pulled.

Now, I needed help moving into our house, finding friends, figuring out finances and navigating a new location. It was a lot.

Luckily, I ended up in base housing (after the rat situation). I was surrounded by other brand new spouses plus a few experienced friends. With a little help, I figured it all out, mostly. Now I can share a little of my wisdom with other spouses.

Your Heart Breaks

To prepare myself for military life, I watched military classics. Namely: “Top Gun” and “An Officer and A Gentleman.” I was prepared for the romance, the mystery.

What I wasn’t prepared for? The moment that bus pulls out for 9 to 12 months. No one told me how much it would physically hurt to be away from my spouse.

They also didn’t prepare me for the other goodbyes that were coming. Every few years, deployment or not, my heart breaks again when we move. I’ve stood in more parking lots than I care to think about, tears streaming down my face. Saying “farewell,” even “see you later,” to dear friends is heart-wrenching.

The Best People

Unless you live in this community, you don’t truly get it. I’ve never met a more diverse group of individuals. The military welcomes everyone. It could be terrible. There are a lot of opposing viewpoints and beliefs here that have the potential to erupt.

Instead, everyone seems to have adopted the idea that we are in this together. No one hesitates to offer help to another family in need. I’ve had almost complete strangers step up when I was too sick to be around my child. Other friends save coupons for me to use while we’re OCONUS. We share rental recommendations, school information and the lowdown on making the best of a bad situation.

Some of my absolute best friends, the gals who are in my life forever, are military spouses.

I wish someone had told me how amazing this community is before I stepped into this life. The people we’ve met along the way have made all the difference for us.

What do you wish you had known before you became a military spouse? Tell us in the comments!

Please Don’t Ask Me That!

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Without fail, at social gatherings or online, it will happen. Someone will ask a question and my face will kind of freeze into an awkward mask. It’s somewhere between a cringe, a fake smile and an eye roll.

I don’t mean to do that. It’s just, well, some questions are awkward and strange.

Please Don’t Ask Me That: The Strangest Questions I’ve Been Asked As a Military Spouse

(Full disclosure: I haven’t personally been asked all of these questions, but I’ve had friends who have been or have heard the rumors about certain questions in my decade as a military spouse.)

Can you make sure your next move will take you to (location near family)?

If we actually got to pick where we moved, I would be picking Hawaii or San Diego. Maybe somewhere in Europe or a tropical island, like Jamaica.

Unfortunately, we just get told where to go. Even when submitting a “wishlist” of next duty stations is possible, the chances of getting your top choice is laughable.

Will you be going to visit your spouse in (location near the front lines)?

I’ve heard that Afghanistan has some lovely hiking in the Hindu Kush. I, unfortunately, do not plan on visiting my combat deployed spouse while he is there. He’s mentioned something about rocket strikes and horrendous dust storms during the 5 static-filled minutes we talked via satellite phone 2 months ago.

(Spouse) is coming home soon! Will you be moving home?

I’m not sure you understand how this life works. It’s a job and we live where the job is. There is not a job in (hometown) for my spouse. So we’ll be staying at our current location until the military sends us somewhere else.

I’ve watched “Army Wives.” When are you going to become friends with the general’s wife?

Any question that tries to relate my military spouse life to the fun, but fictional, romp that is “Army Wives” will get extra eye rolls from me.

No, unless my spouse rises in the ranks to that level, Claudia Joy will never be my BFF. Instead, I’ll be socializing mainly with families in a similar status or rank to my own spouse. If I am invited to a social event with the higher-ups, it will be a more formal occasion. Pleasantries will be exchanged, but I probably won’t become besties with a general’s wife.

Please Don't Ask Me That: The Strangest Questions I've Been Asked As a Military Spouse

What’s the craziest thing that you’ve been asked as a military spouse or service member?

Why can’t I post the specific homecoming date and location or share exactly when and where my spouse will be deployed?

Let me explain it to you in 5 little letters: OPSEC. Operational Security. A handy way to remind yourself of this is “loose lips sink ships.” There are individuals online constantly looking for information about forward-deployed troops.

Posting information online or oversharing in any situation can cause these individuals to target units or locations for attacks. Sharing specific homecoming information can also invite these trolls to interrupt the safe return of troops.

Your best bet? If it doesn’t come from the public affairs officer or shop, don’t post it or share it.

I want to visit my spouse at their unaccompanied OCONUS duty station. Won’t the military pay for me to go there?

No. They won’t. Your spouse or significant other is unaccompanied and has a job to do overseas. They might get some time to head home mid-tour, but otherwise will be mainly at their OCONUS location.

If you want to visit, you’ll need to do it on your own dime. Or learn how to work the Space-A system.

My spouse is late coming home from work. Who should I call?

No one. Call no one. Calling the duty desk or his shop or his senior NCO or reporting officer is not a good idea. Instead, of just being late tonight, your spouse will be late every night for the foreseeable future. And they’ll enjoy endless teasing from everyone else in their shop forever.

Instead, proceed as usual at home and maybe set aside some dinner for reheating later.

You had a baby in Japan! Does he have dual citizenship?

OK, first: that would be super cool! Second: my baby is fully an American without any extra citizenships. The overseas bases have special privileges, which include making any children born there immediate American citizens.

Unfortunately, having a baby OCONUS does mean that registering the birth is a super long and pricier process than in the States.

He’s home (or leaving soon). Planning to get knocked up?

I mean, maybe? Anyone who has tried to conceive kind of knows that it is a crapshoot, at best. Honestly, my desire to have a baby and when and how is really none of  your business.

Your life seems so exciting! Can you give me your best tips so I can marry into the military too?

After I give you some fierce side-eye, I’ll calmly explain that this life was never my first plan. I fell in love with a guy who happened to be in the military. The end. I didn’t chase him down because of his dress blues or go out hunting for a dude with dog tags.

While there are awesome parts to military life, a lot of this is really hard. It’s not all fancy birthday balls and happy homecomings. This life is messy and hard and emotional and stressful.

But good luck with that!

What’s the craziest thing that you’ve been asked as a military spouse or service member? Post your funniest stories in the comments!

10 Tips for How to Nail a Phone Interview

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Moving around the world as much as I have, I’ve had my fair share of phone or virtual interviews. At first, it seems great. You can totally chill on the couch in your PJs while securing a new job. I’m 100% there for that!

Until life intervenes and everything blows up.

10 Tips for How to Nail a Phone Interview

You need to prepare for a phone interview a little differently than how you prepare for an in-person one. Here are our tips to help you have a great phone interview.

 

Help Prevent the Implosion from Happening With These 10 Tips for a Phone Interview

1. Do your research

Before you even get on the phone, it’s important to know about the company and the position. You want this job and are super qualified. You need to communicate that over the phone.

Poke around their website quite a bit. It’s not just the tagline that you need to be able to quote verbatim. Instead, you should be very aware of their mission, history, focus and purpose.

Depending on the position you are applying for, you could also do specific research. Look at the position-related content on the company’s website. Another option, if you have experience in the field already, is to create a brief summary of what you anticipate the position to look like and how you would fill that role most effectively.

2. Practice Questions

Practice makes perfect, especially for a job interview. The most successful interviews I’ve ever had involved hours of prep work.

If you have been in this field before, you’ve likely been through this process as least once. Try to write down, from memory, questions that you’ve been asked at previous interviews. If you are new to this field or just entering the workforce, link up with a mentor or career prep center. They can help you to work through typical job interview questions.

Either way, write out your answers to each potential question. Next, find a partner to practice with. Your spouse, friend, mentor or career advisor will role play the interviewer. They’ll ask you possible questions; you’ll answer. Try not to use your written answers if you’ll be doing a video interview. Having your responses nearby is perfectly fine for phone or off-camera interviews, though!

3. Create a Portfolio

At an in-person interview for a professional position, you’d be sharing your best work with a portfolio or through samples. While you won’t be able to do this during your phone interview, it’s helpful to have your best work on hand for your own reference. It can help trigger anecdotes or create deeper answers to questions.

If your portfolio is digital, you can offer to share your files before, during or after your interview. This shows your dedication and commitment to the position.

4. Tech Logistics

When you plan the interview, you should confirm how everything will take place. If you are in the U.S. calling the U.S., you will have fewer issues. Operating OCONUS and connecting with the U.S.? You’ll need to nail down specifics, especially timing due to the different time zones.

Confirm the time and platform (phone, online call, etc.) 24 hours before your interview. This helps to bring you to the forefront of the interviewer’s mind.

5. Location Location

Where is this interview happening? I’ve always done better in a semi-professional setting where I am comfortable. The best bet is to sit at your desk or dining room table. For on-camera interviews, try to ensure good lighting.

Being in a professional setting means that you will have your career tools easily on hand. From jotting down notes on Post-Its to pulling things up on your computer, being at your control center gives you more, well, control!

6. Noise Control

Speaking of control, what are your plans for noise interference? I have 2 kids and a dog and live in a military flight path. I needed to have a plan for my phone interviews. There is nothing worse than having a rowdy toddler bust into your super serious chat!

If you can, hire a sitter or arrange for your spouse to be home. For things outside of your control, like a dog barking or noisy planes, explain them and apologize for these possible interruptions in advance.

You should also have a back-up plan in case of technical difficulties. If you are unable to connect, immediately email or message the interviewer to apologize and explain the difficulty. Then offer several options to reconnect right away.

7. Dress for Success

While interviewing in your comfy sweatpants sounds great, it might not work in your favor. Wearing relaxing clothes makes you more casual, which is the opposite of what you want to do on this call. Instead, put on real clothes.

I like to wear skinny jeans and a cute blouse for off-camera interviews. For video calls, I wear a professional button down, jewelry and do my hair and make-up.

When I feel professional I act professional. This can totally help you nail the ideal tone of voice and stay on-point.

8. Honesty Always

It’s important to upsell yourself, sure. But there is a fine line between a professional upsell and dishonesty. If you don’t have the exact experience the company is looking for, be honest. If you think you could quickly pick up that skill set or expand your area of expertise, tell your interviewer that.

9. Etiquette

Follow all common interview etiquette rules. Be prompt and prepared at the time the interview. Take water with you in case of coughing or a dry mouth. Ask thoughtful follow-up questions and share only as much personal information as appropriate to the position and the situation.

After the interview, immediately send a thank you email. Express how much you enjoyed speaking to your interviewer and why you are excited about this position. Close the email by saying that you look forward to continuing your conversation.

10. Be Yourself!

Most companies don’t want a robot doing the job. They want a person with quirks and a sense of humor. Let your light shine and toot your horn loudly. Maybe skip sharing your affinity for true crime, but totally crack a few (safe) jokes if it feels right.

Have you rocked a phone interview? Share your tips to snag a dream job!

The Stigma of Mental Health and the Military Spouse

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Every little thing, from the endless crying of the baby to one dish being out of place, caused me to fly into a rage. When I wasn’t angry, I was deeply sad and sobbing. The walls felt like they were closing in and my chest felt tight. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t see a way out of the deep hole of depression.

It felt like I just couldn’t admit I was weak or that I needed help. I’d heard all of those saying about military spouses and strength. I was supposed to be the backbone of our family, keeping it all together when everything was falling apart.

Have you ever felt overwhelmed, out of sorts or just generally not yourself mentally and emotionally?

You are not alone. Approximately 30% of military spouses suffer from mental illness.

After I had my first child, I went deep into the postpartum depression rabbit hole. I didn’t want to upset the delicate balance of our lives, so I delayed seeking help until it was so severe I couldn’t function in my daily life.

Instead of talking about it, I drank much more than I should have. I used exercise to relieve stress obsessively. My weight and running times became unhealthy fixations. Most of all, I’m only just now, years later, realizing just how bad it was and how far I had gone. I’m so thankful I was able to claw my way out.

While I’m mostly “better” I will always struggle with mental health and I know that. I’m anxious about nonsense things or blow trivial matters out of proportion. Jumping to the worst possible scenario is pretty common for me in most challenging situations. I am painfully aware of what I say and how it could come across. There is a constant worry about how I might be perceived.

There is a stigma for military spouses struggling with mental health.

“How can that be? You’re literally telling the whole entire world about your struggles,” you might ask. You wouldn’t be wrong either.

But writing is different than in-person sharing. I’m hidden behind a screen and these words are typed not spoken.

The Stigma of Mental Health and the Military Spouse

Do you think there is a stigma around mental health struggles as a military spouse?

Military spouses who struggle with mental health often remain hidden. After all, we must be the backbone, the support system, for our whole family. We are the constant for our children who are often missing their other parent. Military spouses must handle everything that comes their way, mostly far from home and with an often-rotating support network of friends.

There is no fallback plan, no option for retreat. So most of us slog onward, dealing with our emotional battles in any way we can.

We self-medicate with alcohol and drugs. According to a recent study, almost 70% of military spouses had an alcoholic drink during a given month. Over 30% of those who drank were binge drinking. Others were smoking pot or using illegal drugs. Of course, some of these substances could have been used recreationally. But many military spouses drown their sorrows with a few glasses of wine or several beers every night.

You don’t want to talk about it or ask for help. There could be the perception of weakness or of taking needed resources away from deployable troops. Asking for help could draw unwanted attention or scrutiny to yourself, it could cause your service member to lose focus on the mission. Above all, you are supposed to be able to handle this.

There is no shame in asking for help.

I know this now. There are places to seek help readily available through “official” channels as well as completely confidential outlets.

A great place to start is with your chaplain or the Military Family Life Counselor (MFLC) assigned to your duty station or unit. Chaplains serve all members of the military community. There are religious leaders from all sects and faith backgrounds, Christian and non-Christian alike. If you are religious, starting here could be a positive first step.

MFLCs are available to all military service members and their dependents. There are MFLCs assigned to all bases, with many locations hosting multiple counselors. Contact your unit FRO to connect with your local MFLC. Your sessions are off the books completely. Literally, no notes can or will be taken at any time. There is no record of what you discuss or even that you have been counseled. Best of all, many MFLCs keep flexible hours and can meet you both on and off base.

Another option is to seek counseling services through Military OneSource. Simply call the hotline and ask to speak to a representative about mental health counseling. There are a few criteria in place in order to receive services, but they try their best to meet your needs.

I used this service in 2014 and 2015 for postpartum depression. I was able to see a therapist just a few blocks from my home during evening hours, which made it super convenient for me. Best of all, this was 100% cost-free.

For those who need something other than talk therapy, please seek help from a medical professional. If you use Tricare, your PCM can provide at least an initial diagnosis and treatment plan. Your doctor might refer you to a specialist or other medical professional to seek further treatment for your specific mental health concerns.

I also used this route. My PCM was quickly able to diagnose me with postpartum depression and prescribed me anti-depressants to help regulate my emotions.

I know now that true strength comes from seeking help when needed, and offering help to those in need. No matter who you see first, if you are suffering from mental illness, prolonged sadness, thoughts of self-harm or other mental health concerns, please seek help right away. There is no shame in asking for help.

Do you think there is a stigma around mental health struggles as a military spouse? Share your thoughts in the comments.

16 Professional Licensing Resources for Military Spouses

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Every 3 years, it’s the same song and dance — apply for a new professional license at a new duty station.

It means taking all new tests or attempting to have old tests transferred. I’m hunting down test scores and descriptions from 3 duty stations ago in a vain attempt to save the hundreds of dollars it will cost for a test assessment.

As professionally licensed military spouses move around the nation and the world, it pays off big time to have some help. Use these resources to help you get into a licensed career field, transfer your license or get a new credential.

16 Professional Licensing Resources for Military Spouses

How do you find out about licensing requirements when moving to a new duty station?

National Military Family Scholarships

Did you know that you can get a scholarship for your career? The National Military Family Association has scholarships available for military spouses who are looking to advance their careers. Whether you are going to school or need a little boost to get a credential, the NMFA is here. The scholarship application deadline is Jan. 15, 2018.

Licensing Guides

If you thought the NMFA was done at scholarships, think again! They have also put together handy guides for military spouses in nursing, teaching and the mental health fields. Each guide has a handy printable checklist as well as a longer explanation to help you navigate the road ahead.

CareerOneStop

Wondering about who to contact for licensing information at your next duty station? CareerOneStop should be your next stop.

Input your profession or career into the search box, then select your preferred state. A list of career choices should pop up. Click the one most similar to what you are looking for. The next page will give you further instructions and contact information.

For example, a search for teachers in Massachusetts brought us here: contact info for the state’s Department of Education licensing requirements.

Career and Education Counseling

Whether you are looking for information about going back to school yourself or need to find a tutor for your child, MilitaryOneSource has a solution to help. Education consultants can help busy military families find solutions to their education questions. Find out about scholarship opportunities, how to use MyCAA or where to turn to advance your career after a PCS.

Reciprocity Maps for Teachers

The ideal is to find a state that will accept your current professional license without a lot of insane hoops or redundant testing required.

USA4MilitaryFamilies is a great place to turn for information about teacher licensing reciprocity agreements directly impacting military spouses. Their interactive map helps to outline the agreements currently in place or being considered.

Getting advance notice about what might be required to transfer a professional credential can change how you prepare for your next PCS.

The National Association of State Directors of Teacher Education and Certification (NASDTEC) also has a map that shows which states might offer reciprocity for licensing. This website is specifically for teacher and education professionals.

For information about other professionals, MilitaryOneSource has compiled an inclusive list.

Facebook

The original online social network has been building military spouse communities for years! Now, there are even more opportunities to grow professionally.

Join a career specific Facebook group to find information about your particular profession. Or join something more general to learn about a variety of opportunities. Either way, you’ll be tapping into a vast network of experience and education. Check out this (probably not exhaustive) list:

How do you find out about licensing requirements when moving to a new duty station? Share your best advice or favorite resource in the comments.

How I Feel When Someone Thanks Me for My Service

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“Thank you for your service!”

I’m never quite sure how to reply to this. I know it’s meant with great sincerity. My friends, family and casual acquaintances do truly mean it from the bottom of their hearts. Deep down I know that they are trying to convey appreciation for all that I have sacrificed to be with the person I love most.

After all, I’ve pretty much walked away from a promising teaching career. We pull up stakes every few years and move to yet another far away location. While my children have only known the shortest of TDY separations, I’ve gutted it out for the full 12-month experience. All of this is a lot to ask and to accomplish with (hopefully) grace and selflessness.

I know that this is what is meant when I am thanked for my service. The person is acknowledging that I, too, am giving of myself and of our family in service to our country. Small pieces of me have been chipped away with each “see you later.”

How I Feel When Someone Thanks Me for My Service © LoloStock/Adobe Stock[/caption]

Other times, I know I am standing in for my absent spouse. Without him by my side, sharing gratitude for his service feels awkward. Especially when it is then incumbent upon me to pass that gratitude along. I mean, if I actually did that, I could be thanking him morning, noon and night some days!

Instead of expressing thanks to him alone, I am included. “Thank you both for your service and sacrifice.” Our sacrifice is collective.

However, it also rings untrue to me. My service? I didn’t even sacrifice a quarter of what my spouse and others have voluntarily given of themselves.

I endured a lengthy deployment, but I wasn’t in a foxhole or FOB. I wasn’t even in the barracks. Instead, I was on my very comfortable couch at home in SoCal, snuggling my pup. I didn’t need to wipe gritty sand from my eyes or check my boots for creepy desert critters. The worst I had to suffer through was a tough bout of strep throat and hogging the whole bed.

My career isn’t what it could be, should be or would be. But I have lived all over the country and even overseas. I get to explore other professional passion projects.

My sacrifice was simply going without the physical presence of my spouse. My service is to go where the military takes us, to grin and bear it. I volunteered to live life Semper Gumby.

“Thank you for your service.”

I know the intentions behind this statement are sincere. The person is showing their gratitude for my spouse’s service to me and through me. They are honoring the dedication of our whole family to a greater purpose. And I respect that. I want my spouse to be thanked and honored for his willingness to serve our nation.

While I have chosen a different path in life, one that has required me to “give up” opportunities and expectations I once held dear, I do not serve. I have never sworn the oath of allegiance to protect our great nation against “enemies foreign and domestic.” There is no proverbial blank check, with my signature, encompassing my willingness to put my life and limbs in the line of fire.

How should I respond when I am thanked for a service I have not completed? Usually, I simply say “Thank you” and move on.

Sometimes I reply with wit:

“Oh, you should thank my husband. I can’t do that many pull-ups!”

I do not serve. I simply love a person who made the commitment to do so.

Have you had a civilian thank you for your service as a military spouse? How did you respond?