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A Christmas List that Only a Military Spouse Would Understand

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Christmas lists are so hard for me to write. There is truly nothing I need that I don’t already have. And the things I want can’t be bought at a store.

A Christmas List that Only a Military Spouse Would Understand

My most wished for Christmas gifts are things that might make military spouses nod and smile.

Magic Curtains

It would be nice if houses all came with just a few standard window sizes. You’d think that might be the case, given advances in modern house building and technology generally.

Nope.

My giant box of curtains knows the truth. Every single house we’ve lived in for the last ten years has had different sized windows. Sometimes the windows in one house are a variety of sizes.

Buying curtains to fit all those windows, plus hopefully work in the next few houses, can be a battle.

I’d love to get a dozen pairs of magic curtains. My magic curtains would resize themselves based on the windows in our current house. Wider, longer, shorter, narrower, whatever.

I’d prefer the upgraded pattern changing curtains, but will totally be happy with basic grey.

Post-PCS Fairy

The only thing worse than packing up your house is unpacking your entire house. It might just be me, but our HHG seems to triple in size by the time we accept delivery.

Not only does it seem like more, but now I need to make everything fit into a new house. All the rooms are different shapes, the walls are different colors, and suddenly that bookcase doesn’t work in any room!

I’d love to have someone come to my house to run interference on my post-PCS unpacking. My person would help entertain the kids, remember to walk the dog, give advice about organization, and share decorating tips.

A Clone

I feel like I always need to be in a million places at once. Usually, my crunch time is at the end of the day. I’ve got to hit the commissary, mail things out before the post office closes, go to the bank, and handle school pick up. All between 4 and 5 pm.

I could sure use a few more copies of me to do all the things!

If I had a clone or two, all those errands that I need to fit in between the end of working and the end of school would be a snap! There might even be enough of me to make dinner at a reasonable time, too.

Boots By the Door

I yell every time I trip over those big, clunky, smelly boots. They are always in the way, no matter where they land. But when they are gone, I miss almost breaking my legs falling over them.

I distinctly remember a Christmas not so long ago where I would have given almost anything to find those boots by my door. Muddy, stinking, dusty, and 100% in my way. I would have cried with joy.

This year, those boots will thankfully be by my door and their owner will be at our holiday table. But I know many military families will be missing a pair of boots by their doors.

Neighborhood Full of Friends

Over the last decade or so, we’ve made incredible friends, people we’ve bonded with and created deep, lasting connections. Our kids have been babies and toddlers together. We’ve celebrated weddings and promotions as a chosen family.

Right now, many of my dearest friends are scattered around the world. While we have celebrated holidays together in years past, this time we are apart.

What I want for Christmas is a neighborhood where I can live with all my best friends.

I want a place where I can step out the door and be reunited with my first best military friend from SoCal. Down the street are my favorite running buddy and her boys. Right across from me is the friend who saw me through an OCONUS pregnancy and birth.

I want to be together, with all the friends I hold dear, this Christmas.

A Way to Bottle Places

After we move, my son will likely never come back to the place he was born. He will not remember the beautiful island we currently call home. The Eisa drums won’t call to him in his soul anymore.

I want a way to bottle the places we’ve lived and loved. I want to take them with me when we move. I want to open up a bottle and be back in Okinawa. Or running along the surf in SoCal, or picking apples in the Virginia countryside.

The best thing about military life is that you move to new places often. Each move brings an opportunity for adventure and discovery.

What they don’t tell you is how much your heart breaks every time you have to move from a much-loved duty station. No one tells you that your soul will ache for sunrise over the Washington Monument on a crisp spring day. You don’t understand how much you’ll miss New Orleans jazz until you’re plopped in the middle of Oklahoma. But when you leave there, you’ll even miss the random bison who visit your backyard.

I’d love to revisit, if only for a moment, all the places we’ve lived.

What can’t-be-bought-in-the-store items are on your Christmas wish list this year?

Get a Jump on Holiday Packages: 2018 Deadlines for Sending Packages Around the World

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Make sure your loved ones have the perfect presents to unwrap on Christmas morning! You’ll be in the clear when you stick to the holiday shipping guidelines for the US Postal Service.

Mark your calendars to be sure that your packages and cards arrive by December 24!

Get a Jump on Holiday Packages: 2018 Deadlines for Sending Packages Around the World

No matter where you are shipping in the continental US, it’s a good idea to have your goods on the go by December 14 for basic rate options. This includes greeting cards and regular retail ground shipping services.

For First Class and Priority Mail, you have until December 20 to get those gifts in the mail.

If you’re notorious for waiting until the very last second, the absolute last day to get your presents in the mail for the lower 48 is December 22. However, you’ll be stuck paying for Priority Mail Express to ensure that everything arrives by Christmas Eve.

For Alaska and Hawaii, your mail needs to be sent by December 20 for First Class and Priority. At the absolute latest, you can send packages Priority Mail Express on December 22.Our Guide to Sending Care Packages to Your Service Member

Send Your Gifts Overseas

Many of us are missing someone around our holiday tables. If your shipping to a loved one stationed overseas, pay close attention to shipping deadlines.

Whether you are hoping to send something from the US or to the US, it will help to stick to these hard deadlines.

Don’t forget to fill out a customs form before you ship your packages. Cards generally do not need customs forms.

Be sure to register for your free supply of shipping products specifically to send to military members overseas!

APO/FPO/DPO AE Zip 093: Iraq, Afghanistan & Middle East

If you’re hoping to spread holiday cheer to a loved one in the Middle East, including Iraq and Afghanistan, you need to have everything sent by December 4.

All other APO/FPO/DPO Addresses: Europe, Africa & Asia

For folks shipping to and from Europe, Africa, and Asia, be sure to have your packages and letters ready to go by mid-December.

Priority and First Class Mail all need to be shipped out by December 11. The absolute last day for shipping your presents, using Priority Express Military Mail, is December 16.

Address your APO/FPO/DPO packages following this format:

Mail being sent to military or diplomatic post offices follows the US standard address format.

In place of the city, put FPO, APO, or DPO based on which type of post office your mail is being sent to. For the state, use the region: AE for Europe or the Middle East, AP for Asia and the Pacific region generally, and AA for Africa.

Use this basic format:

Rank (if being sent to Active Duty troop) First Name Last Name

PSC XXX Box XXX

FPO (or APO or DPO) (Region: AP, AE, AA) Zip

Non-Military African Addresses

First Class and Priority Mail International should be posted by December 1. Priority Mail Express International items need to be mailed by December 8. For last minute packages, you’ll need to ship your gift by December 16 and use Global Express Guaranteed.

Non-Military Asian, Austrailian & New Zealand Addresses

Make sure that you have First Class and Priority International packages in the mail by December 8. Priority Express International items need to be shipped by December 15. Use Global Express Guaranteed by December 19 for guaranteed Christmas delivery. For Australia and New Zealand, you have until December 20 with Global Express Guaranteed.

Non-Military Canadian & Caribbean Addresses

Have packages going First Class or Priority International in the mail by December 8. You have until December 15 for Priority Express International items and December 20 for Global Express Guaranteed.

Non-Military Central & South American Addresses

Make sure to have First Class and Priority International packages shipped out by December 1. Priority Express International items need to be sent by December 8. Global Express Guaranteed items must be mailed by December 18.

Non-Military Mexican Addresses

Ship off your First Class and Priority Express presents and cards by December 8. You have until December 15 for Priority Express International and until December 19 for Global Express Guaranteed.

Non-Military Middle Eastern & European Addresses

Send your packages, but Priority International or First Class International Mail, by December 8. Priority Express International packages will need to be shipped by December 15 and Global Express International by December 19.

Address Your Non-Military Packages

International addresses are different than the US standard three lines: name, house number with the street, followed by city and state with the zip code.

You’ll want to address your packages and cards using the standard address system in the destination country. Consult with your gift’s recipient for specifics before you send.

Packing Gifts to Arrive Safely

You’ve spent so much time and care to select just the right gifts. It would be a shame for them to arrive damaged or broken.

For fragile non-liquid items, it is recommended that you pack them carefully. Wrap them in layers of tissue or newspaper at a bare minimum. Using bubble wrap is ideal. In a pinch, packing breakables inside of clean socks or tucked in between cushioning items might be okay.

If you are sending liquid items, wrap them carefully to prevent the container from breaking. Spills due to pressure changes are also a risk. It is advised that you place wrapped liquids inside of ziplock plastic bags.

You can also prevent leaks in many items, like lotions and bath products, with a simple plastic wrap trick. Remove the lid of the container. Place a small piece of plastic wrap over the top the now-open bottle or jar. The plastic wrap should be big enough to cover the whole opening plus spread down the sides. Once it’s covered, put the lid back on and tighten it completely.

Food and other perishables should be sent in a sealed plastic bag or hard plastic container.

Never send alcohol by USPS or via international mail. Certain countries may have restrictions on particular goods, like meat products or produce. Be sure to check with your local USPS office for specifics.

Where will you be sending presents and cards this holiday season? Share your farthest flung gift destinations in the comments!

Alternative Thanksgiving Meal Options for Troops and Veterans

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Our troops and veterans are scattered far and wide around the country, often far from family to boot. All that distance can make the holidays awfully lonely.

There are several great out-of-the-box options for active duty troops and veterans to celebrate this Thanksgiving!

Alternative Thanksgiving Meal Options for Troops and Veterans

Your military family is ready to support you this Thanksgiving with fellowship and feasting.

On-Base Thanksgiving Banquets

Around the US and across the globe, military installations host Thanksgiving meals for thousands of service members, veterans, and their families.

If you’re in the barracks or forward deployed, head to your neighborhood chow hall. The talented chefs and dedicated personnel help to make the holidays feel more home-like with feasts fit for kings (and queens). You’ll be able to enjoy turkey, all the fixings, dessert, and camaraderie with your fellow service members.

Not deployed or in the barracks? Military installations have Thanksgiving handled for you, too!

MCCS, FSS, and MWR run restaurant facilities on installations worldwide generally prepare a Thanksgiving meal that is open to anyone with base access or on-base privileges. There is usually a very reasonable fee associated with on-base restaurant-hosted. Many are served family-style or as a giant buffet full of appetizers, entrees, sides, and desserts.

Each base might have a slightly different twist on Thanksgiving, both at the chow hall and at the family buffet. Look out for regional specialties alongside your traditional favorites! In Okinawa, you might find soba soup sitting next to the stuffing. Perhaps your SoCal feast will feature some Southwestern flavors, like enchiladas or fajitas. Down in the Carolinas, smokey barbeque could be the guest of honor alongside the big turkey.

Veterans’ Group Feasts

VFW and American Legion posts often host Thanksgiving celebrations for free. You may need to be a member or a guest of a member to join the feast.

This is a great opportunity to connect with your fellow veterans and build community.

Volunteers and donations, of food or money, are welcome for these events. The general community is encouraged to support our military veterans during the holidays, even if you are not a VFW or AL member.

For information, contact your local VFW or AL post.

Other veterans’ groups near you may also offer Thanksgiving meal opportunities. Contact your local veteran service organization chapters for more information. You can find general contact information on this VSO approved list from the VA.

Host or Join a Friendsgiving

Military families have been doing Friendsgiving since before it was something cool or even called Friendsgiving.

Basically, get together with a whole bunch of your nearest and dearest friends. Divvy up the food responsibilities between all the guests. Make sure that someone is tasked with bringing plates, silverware, and drinks.

On Thanksgiving, gather together and enjoy excellent food plus great company!

It helps to be really organized when planning a Friendsgiving. Keep a running list going that details who is bringing what. Ask which dishes need a space in the oven, which can be reheated in the microwave, and which are okay as-is.

Teaming up with a neighbor or hosting at a larger community space can be crucial. You’ll get more oven space, plus extra room to enjoy throughout the day.

Have a plan for Thanksgiving events, like crafts for the kids and maybe watching the big game for the adults. It will help to keep peace and provide activities outside of the kitchen.

Adopt-a-Single Service Member

There’s always room for one more at the Thanksgiving table! Your family can help make the holidays feel more cozy and loving by extending an invitation to single troops on your local military base.

If you’re hosting Thanksgiving this year, save space at your table for a few single service members or veterans.

Reach out to your local military base and connect with their morale program office. Or contact a specific unit and speak to the family readiness leader. These folks can help you spread the word.

Share your event date and location. Be sure to include how many seats you have available and a little about your family dynamics. As guests RSVP, ask them about their food allergies or aversions. You’d hate to dish up a dairy-filled meal to someone who honestly can’t eat it!

Stay in contact as Thanksgiving approaches. You could even invite your new friends to join other turkey day events. Plan to get together for a local turkey trot before you eat. Setting up video chats with their families back home might also be a nice way to help them feel at home. Play board games or go outside for a game of touch football.

Troops and Veterans: how have you celebrated the holidays far from home? Share your favorite tips, tricks, and memories!

Connecting Veterans to Schools

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Every veteran has a story to tell. And our children need to hear those stories. This November, it’s important that we work on connecting veterans to schools so that our future generations know and understand the meaning of selfless service.

There are easy ways to bring stories of military service into our schools this month and throughout the school year.

Connecting Veterans to Schools

Bringing veterans and their stories into schools is just missing two key components: action and cooperation.

It’s important that teachers and schools take action to bring Veteran’s Day programming into their classrooms and schools. Worksheets and coloring pages are great, but learning about veterans is more meaningful when children can hear the stories first hand.

Local veteran’s organizations and military units can reach out to local schools, offering to send in guest speakers or provide learning opportunities. Taking this first step can lead to an ongoing relationship with schools, bridging that military/civilian divide!

How Military Units and Veteran’s Groups Can Connect with Schools

Military units — active duty, reserve or National Guard — are relatively stable even though the actual personnel might change over time. All it takes is just one person or unit reaching out to a teacher or school to build a relationship.

First, talk to your unit, base, or regional public affairs office. They will have guidance about how to connect with non-military organizations. There might already be relationships in place that you could draw on while setting up a Veteran’s Day program.

Next, contact area school districts, individuals schools, or use a personal connection at a school. Ask if the school is open to guest speakers from your base or command. Explain that your team will be sharing age-appropriate stories about military service and why they’ve chosen to serve.

Every military base should also have a School Liaison Officer (SLO). This individual, or office, should already have developed connections with on-base and local public schools. Talk with the SLO to find out the best people to talk to at the school(s). Or work together to build a Veteran’s Day program for schools.

How Schools and Teachers Can Connect with Military Veterans

It just takes one teacher with an initiative to build a great Veteran’s Day Program!

First, check with your school’s administration to learn the process to bring guest speakers to your classroom. You can also reach out to colleagues. Gauge their interest in participating in this program.

Then, connect with local military bases, units, and veteran’s groups. Try:

Outline what you are looking for, the ages this presentation would be reaching, and several ideal dates and times.

Once you have speakers on board and the go-ahead from your school leadership, set up the Veteran’s Day schedule! Make sure to include supporting activities and resources for teachers to use in their individual classrooms, too.

Get help building your own Veteran’s Day program with resources from the History Channel’s Take a Veteran to School Program.

Veteran’s Day Resources to Use in School and at Home

There are great ways to build connections to Veteran’s Day at your school or at home even if you can’t get an in-person speaker.

One great starter activity is to read an age-appropriate book with your child or students. Operation We Are Here has an excellent list of children’s picture books. The Cincinnati Library goes beyond picture books with recommendations for Veteran’s Day books from early readers to adults.

Next, you might consider reading “In Flanders Fields,” a famous poem about World War I by John McCrae. It has become connected with Veteran’s Day. Older students can dive deeper into the meaning of this poem, examining the history and symbolism behind the words. Younger children can listen to the poem and share their feelings or impressions. Another idea, for all ages, is to create art inspired by “In Flanders Fields.”

The National Education Association and the Georgia 4H program both have complete lesson plans available to teachers.

The NEA features several Veteran’s Day lesson plans aimed at elementary, middle, and high school students. Teachers, and parents or homeschooling families, can access individual lesson plans. Each lesson plan comes with directions, linked resources, and supplementary materials.

Georgia’s program has a complete packet that includes Veteran’s Day resources for teachers and students. It’s aimed at elementary and middle school students, but can be leveled up for older children. The entire document is printable. Parents could even print out just the pages they need. Or download this as a PDF ebook for on-the-go use on a tablet.

Whether you’re hosting guest speakers or DIYing an in-class lesson, it’s super important to share our veterans’ stories.

How will your local schools be celebrating Veteran’s Day this year? We’d love to hear your stories!

Thanksgiving Meal Assistance for Service Members & Military Families

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Thanksgiving is traditionally a day of plenty. However, putting all that food on the table can be a struggle on tight military budgets.

Many military families may qualify for Thanksgiving meal assistance from military support organizations.

Thanksgiving Meal Assistance for Service Members & Military Families

If your family could use a boost this holiday season, check out these great opportunities to build your festive feast.

Operation We Are Here

Enjoy a turkey and all the fixings with Holidays Meals for Military from Operation We Are Here! Registration is still available for many 2018 events.

In 2010, Ken Ruff witnessed a young military family struggle to pay for their Thanksgiving meal. They had run into unexpected expenses after their soldier returned from deployment. Ken stepped in to pay for their groceries — under $20 total.

It bothered him that military families were unable to celebrate Thanksgiving with a good meal. That year, he pledged to help military families put food on the table during the holidays.

Currently, Holiday Meals for Military helps over 10,000 families in over 40 locations around the US. Meal kids include turkey, stuffing, gravy, cranberry sauce, and veggies to feed a family of four.

Thanksgiving events end on November 17, but Operation We Are Here plans to host Christmas events in December. For more information, check out their Facebook page.

Sheep Dog Impact Assistance

Sheep Dog Impact Assistance offers a Thanksgiving meal program for the “sheep dogs” in our country. If you are currently serving, or have served, in the US military, with EMS, law enforcement, or fire and rescue, SDIA could help you have a happy holiday season.

The deadline to apply for SDIA’s Thanksgiving meal program is November 15.

The application requires proof of service, like a DD214 or other official document. SDIA also takes into account the number of people in your household, plus any dietary restrictions.

The goal is to provide families in need with complete Thanksgiving feasts on Turkey Day.

Armed Services YMCA

Each year, ASYMCA locations donate over 25,000 baskets of food to junior enlisted families in need during the holiday season.

Baskets may vary, but will likely include traditional Thanksgiving feast fixings.

To register for a basket, please visit your local ASYMCA.

Spirit of Sharing (S.O.S.)

Through their Adopt-a-Military-Family program, S.O.S. helps connect military families in need with resources to make the holiday season merry.

For families in need of assistance, S.O.S. accepts nominations of deserving families throughout the year into the Adopt-a-Military-Family program. Provide information about your family’s needs and military service through the online application to be considered for assistance in 2018.

Soldier’s Angels

Holding a festive holiday celebration when someone is deployed, missing, or your family is dealing with struggles can be hard. Soldiers’ Angels is here to help with their Adopt-a-Family holiday program.

Families must meet certain qualifying criteria to register. Once accepted, families are “adopted” by volunteers who aim to help them host a holiday to remember through donations and other assistance.

Other Local Organizations

For military families who will have trouble holding a Thanksgiving feast, there is also local help available.

Please reach out to the local branch of these organizations and services:

  • United Way: many branches offer community Thanksgiving meals and/or Thanksgiving baskets to low-income families
  • YMCA: some branches may offer Thanksgiving food assistance to families in need
  • Food Banks: many local and regional food bank groups offer additional food and assistance to families during the holiday season
  • Salvation Army: Salvation Army posts may offer community meals and/or holiday food assistance baskets to families in need
  • USO: some locations may host meals for military families or troops or use the USO to help get connected with other organizations that offer Thanksgiving food assistance programs
  • Veterans’ Service Organizations: your local VFW, American Legion, or similar groups may offer Thanksgiving assistance for families locally
  • Banks and Credit Unions: many local branches may offer, or know about, a program in your area that provides assistance
  • Grocery stores: many run food drives that are either independent from or connected with local food assistance organizations; contact a manager to learn more

Other Options for Food Assistance

For some families, that holiday budget might be tight but you might not quite qualify for food assistance programs. This holiday season, try these tips to bring things in under budget.

  • Coupons: Be extra savvy with your coupon clipping and look out for deals that give you bonus offers. The Commissary is currently running a coupon deal that nets you money off of a turkey when purchasing participating products with a particular coupon. Look for the circular in your mailbox or your local Commissary!
  • Potluck: Cut costs when you team up with other families for holiday feasts. Plan to split the costs of the turkey or another main course, then provide family-style sides and dessert to share.
  • Keep it small: Turkey might be traditional, but chicken can be a whole lot cheaper. Switch out your feast items for similar, but less costly, items. Use chicken instead of turkey, make homemade gravy, and consider reducing the number of sides to keep costs in check.

How do you keep your holiday meal budget in check? Share your cost cutting ideas, or places to seek assistance near your military base, in the comments!

 

Discounts and Freebies to Expect from Your Favorite Restaurants this Veterans Day

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It always feels nice to be appreciated. This Veterans Day, those who have served our nation will have the chance to feel the love!

Military veterans, as well as those serving on active duty, can take advantage of great Veteran’s Day deals and discounts.

Discounts and Freebies to Expect from Your Favorite Restaurants this Veteran’s Day

This year, there are tons of exciting restaurant meal discounts and freebies available to veterans and active duty troops.

Before you head out the door, double check the date and time of the meal deal. Some locations are offering discounts or freebies on Sunday, November 11. Others are thanking veterans on Monday, November 12. Each restaurant also has a specific timeframe during which their deal is valid. Different meals and drinks are available during breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Be sure to bring your military identification with you to the restaurant. The staff will need to verify your service. Other options are to wear your uniform, as allowed by your branch of service, presenting a DD214, VA ID card, or another document that verifies your identity as a veteran, active duty troop,  or member of the Guard, or Reserve forces.

If you play your cards right, you might not need to pay for food all day!

Start Your Veterans Day with Breakfast & Coffee

Get your morning started right with breakfast. Take advantage of free coffee, donuts, pancakes, and more!

  • Village Inn: Grab a free breakfast from Village Inn on Sunday, November 11.
  • Dunkin’ Donuts: Pick up a free donut, one per ID, while supplies last on Sunday, November 11.
  • Krispy Kreme: Get yourself a complimentary donut with a cup of coffee at Krispy Kreme on Sunday, November 11.
  • IHOP: Dig into a stack of Red, White, and Blue Pancakes from IHOP on Monday, November 12.
  • LaMar’s: Bring a military ID with you to claim a free donut plus a 12 oz. coffee from LaMar’s on Sunday, November 11.
  • Country Kitchen: Enjoy a Country Scramble at Country Kitchen on Monday, November 12 when you bring your military ID.
  • Friendly’s: Pick from breakfast, lunch, or dinner at Friendly’s on Sunday, November 11.
  • Perkin’s: Order a Magnificent 7 breakfast meal at Perkin’s on Sunday, November 11.
  • Bakers Square: Choose between pancakes, waffles, and french toast meals at Bakers Square locations on Sunday, November 11.
  • Bruegger’s Bagels: Enjoy a hot coffee, any size, from Bruegger’s Bagels on Monday, November 12.

Try a Free Appetizer on Veterans Day

Treat Yourself to Lunch or Dinner on Veterans Day

Take a break for a complimentary meal, at lunch or dinner, at your favorite restaurants. Will you be heading out for steak, burgers, Mexican, or barbeque?

Head to a Buffet for a Free Apps to Dessert Experience

Fill your plate, again and again, at a free buffet this Veterans Day!

  • Cicis: Enjoy pizza, pasta, and more at Cicis on Sunday, November 11.
  • Golden Corral: Golden Corral will open it’s famous buffet to all military members, past and present, from 5-9pm on Monday, November 12.

Enjoy a Sweet Treat on Veterans Day

Finish your Veterans Day with a yummy dessert!

  • Cracker Barrel: Savor a yummy, down-home dessert at Cracker Barrel on Sunday, November 11.
  • Menchies: What topping will you add to your fro-yo? Go nuts on Sunday, November 11 at Menchies!

Remember, some offers are only valid on Sunday, November 11 while others are for Monday, November 12. Each freebie’s conditions vary. Bring documentation of your military service, like wearing your uniform or carrying your ID, with you to the restaurant just in case.

It is also advised that you call your local restaurant location in advance. Not all locations participate. You could also check with national, regional, and local restaurants in your area to see if they offer a discount or free meal that is not otherwise advertised.

Which free meal will you be enjoying on Veterans Day? Let us know your favorite Veterans Day deals and discounts in the comments!

I Give Up on a DIY Military Ball Look

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My hair was an absolute rat’s nest. I’d tried and failed, at no less than five different hairstyles. My locks had been straightened, curled and twisted to the breaking point.

It was also about 10 minutes before I needed to walk out the door for a military birthday ball.

I Give Up on a DIY Military Ball Look

From curly, poofy styles to sleek chignons, I’ve rocked a wide variety of hairdos over the years. My makeup has always been on-point. Across continents, climates and through late-stage pregnancies, I have successfully DIYed my military ball glamour. This year, I give up.

That’s how my friend found me. Standing in my Spanx and strapless bra, hair fried to a crisp, no makeup and a curling iron in each hand, I had tears running down my face. I also needed to breastfeed the baby.

You could say I was in a bit of a crisis.

Why I Have to Give Up on a DIY Military Ball Look

For the last decade, I’ve been a DIY military ball queen. I don’t make my own dress. That’s a bridge too far even for me. But I certainly do my own hair and makeup.

It’s been a smashing success, filled with lots of bobby pins and hairspray.

From curly, poofy styles to sleek chignons, I’ve rocked a wide variety of hairdos over the years. My makeup, while minimalist, has always been on-point, too. Across continents, climates and through late-stage pregnancies, I have successfully DIYed my military ball glamour.

This year, I give up.

I am finding other ways to look my best on military ball night.

It is not worth the amount of stress that I put myself through. Even the years that have turned out well were stressful. There is always the moment of panic. Suddenly, I’ll look in the mirror and realize that the ‘do I was trying for is miserably failing.

Or I notice, on my way out the door, that my eyeliner is really noticeably crooked.

Who could forget the year that I thought I left the curling iron on? I blame pregnancy brain for that one though.

Getting ready on the day of the military ball was much simpler before children were involved.

I could leisurely shower and shave in the hours before go-time. Lotion? Sure! It’ll have time to dry while I browse my shoe collection. Hair could be done again and again, maybe even totally shampooed for a freshly washed look.

With kids? I’m lucky to grab a 10-minute shower. Then, I’m feeding the baby some yogurt while answering the preschooler’s never-ending questions about life and attempting to apply foundation.

Oh, in the middle of all of that, I’ve also hunted down my husband’s extra stiff neck collar thingy and his cufflinks. They were exactly where he left them after the last military ball.

There simply isn’t the time for me to do my own hair or makeup in a way that approaches presentable. If I attempted it this year, I might wind up with the 4-year-old special: a bunch of pigtails, some random bows and lots of blue eyeshadow.

I’m dropping cash on one fancy night out.

In my world, this is the major date night event. We’ve got the sitter, glamorous outfits and we just might splurge on a taxi. This year might be crazy – we’ll get a hotel room for a truly immersive ball experience.

All of that costs cash.

It’s also only one night a year and I’m going to live it up. For my family, adding the cost of professional hair or makeup is not a budget buster. The cost of dry cleaning his dress blues to destroy lingering cigar odors will be pricey than my trip to the hair stylist.

While the military birthday ball is totally his night, it’s also my night on the town too. I want to look and feel good. I don’t want to find dried baby food in my hair.

Being able to spend some time getting my hair done also means that we won’t be rushing out of the house at the last minute. I won’t be hastily trying to shove my hair into a giant sock bun with 30 seconds to go. No more lipstick applications in the car either.

Maybe this year, I’ll be able to eat a little something before we go. Perhaps I’ll remember to sneak a few packs of fruit snacks into my clutch too. Those guest speaker comments can be rather long-winded and I’m used to eating at 5:30 pm.

Saving the money by doing my own hair and makeup isn’t worth the stress and aggravation anymore. Maybe it would be a different story if my hair was easy to work with or I was less picky. But it’s not and I’m not.

I refuse to be crying in my Spanx 5 minutes before we need to leave for the military birthday ball again.

After she finished laughing, my friend revealed that she was also not ready to go. We managed to pull our hair back into big buns and slapped on some mascara. Luckily, my tears had only managed to give me a dewy fresh glow and not puffy red eyes.

Once we slid into the car, we both solemnly swore that 2017 was the very last time that we would ever attempt to DIY hair and makeup for the ball.

From now on, at least one thing is going to be handled by a professional.

Really, it’s for our mental health. And so that our husbands will stop their anxious pacing and watch checking.

Do you get your hair done professionally or do you DIY before a military ball?

Will Your On-Base Home Be Tested for Lead?

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Lead poisoning is a widespread and growing problem at Army bases, according to investigative reporting from Reuters.

Unfortunately, no one has a clear picture of the extent of lead poisoning in military children because the Army often failed to report test results to state authorities.

Will Your On-Base Home Be Tested for Lead?

According to a 2017 memo from The Villages on Benning, 2,274 out of 4,001 on-base homes contained lead-based paint at Fort Benning.

Between 2011 and 2016, the Brooke Army Medical Center in Texas processed over 1,000 blood tests for lead in young children that showed elevated results. Brooke Army Medical Center reported testing approximately 200 children per year in that 5-year span.

This blood test is a simple finger-prick blood draw and costs approximately $10. Many, if not most, U.S. children go untested for lead every year. It is unclear how many military-connected children do or do not get tested for lead poisoning annually.

Texas, like most states, requires that all elevated testing results be reported to the state authorities. However, Brooke did not report their findings in many cases. Neither did Fort Benning, Ga.

This lack of reporting kept state and federal authorities in the dark about the growing issues surrounding lead poisoning in military children.

Military Response to Investigation

After Reuters investigative reporting uncovered the Army’s lead-based problems, the Army drafted a plan to test 40,000 possibly lead-contaminated homes on military bases nationwide. Homes with young children – an at-risk population – would have the highest priority for immediate testing. Approximately 100,000 children live in military housing.

“Out of an abundance of caution, we are going above and beyond current requirements to ensure the safety of our soldiers and their families who work and live on all of our installations,” Army spokesperson Colonel Kathleen Turner said in a statement. “We are currently evaluating all options to address these concerns.”

Homes built before 1978 would be tested for lead contamination in the soil, water, paint and other likely areas in the residence.

However, these far-reaching plans to rectify a potentially dangerous situation are not approved for action as of August 28.

Aging Military Family Housing Linked as Possible Source

Military family housing began to change hands from Defense Department management to private management in the 1990s. At the time, on-base homes were often old and in a state of disrepair. Contractors were brought in by the private companies to renovate, and often rebuild, on-base communities.

However, as recently as 2005, the Army admitted that even these homes weren’t up to their own standards. Their report indicated that as many as 75% of its 90,000 homes on military bases nationwide were falling into disrepair.

“As homes deteriorate, the risk of children’s being exposed to hazardous materials…would increase,” the military report noted.

In 2016, a DoD Investigator General report found privatized military family housing to be vulnerable to poor maintenance and management. This left military families at risk for exposure to dangerous materials in run-down homes.

Lead-based paint and other materials are primarily evident in homes built before 1978. Homes that were built using such products are considered safe, so long as they are properly maintained.

The issue arises when those lead-based paints and other materials begin to decay, disintegrate, peel and breakdown. Peeling lead-based paint releases contaminated dust into the air. It can also be easily handled or ingested by curious young children.

According to a 2017 memo from The Villages on Benning, the company managing Fort Benning housing, 2,274 out of 4,001 on-base homes contained lead-based paint.

Effects of Lead Poisoning

Children are particularly vulnerable to lead poisoning. Peeling paint or other materials are easy for small children to touch or eat out of curiosity.

Symptoms range from immediate to long-term and involve multiple bodily systems.

Children might experience:

  • Abdominal pain
  • Irritability
  • Loss of appetite
  • Weight loss
  • Vomiting
  • Constipation
  • Fatigue or sluggishness
  • Pica or eating non-food items compulsively
  • Seizures
  • Developmental delays
  • Learning differences

Women who are pregnant can expose their unborn children to lead unknowingly. Infants with lead poisoning are more likely to be born prematurely, have a lower birth weight and to experience slower growth rates compared to typically developing peers.

Adults are not immune to the effects of lead poisoning. While the symptoms are different from infants and children, lead poisoning is no less serious for adults.

Adults with lead poisoning might experience:

  • Abdominal pain
  • Headaches
  • High blood pressure
  • Muscle and joint aches
  • Mood disorders
  • Memory problems
  • Low sperm count in men
  • Miscarriage, stillbirth or premature birth in women

If you believe that you or your family may have been exposed to lead-based paint or materials in military housing, it’s important that you get tested as soon as possible.

Contact your medical care team, your housing management company and relevant military authorities. The Army issued an updated guidance for military families living on Army posts. You can read it by clicking here.

 

Military Families Face Insane Pet Shipping Issues, Costs

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“It’s going to cost how much?!”

Clearly, the high cost of shipping our dog, Winston, back to the States was written all over my face. My husband took one look at me and muttered, “I don’t even want to know.”

We’re at that proverbial rock and a hard place right now, as we stare down the barrel of an imminent 2019 PCS. Beyond just the stress of moving, we’re also looking at dropping thousands of dollars to ship a 17-pound mini schnauzer from Japan to the East Coast.

And we don’t really have a choice in the matter.

Moving overseas was decided for us. Bringing Winston with us was a given. He’s family, after all. Two years ago, the costs weren’t quite so high.

As of right now, all of the programs and rules we used to keep costs low have gone away or been totally revamped. Everything is going to cost at least double from our last PCS.

Military Families Face Insane Pet Shipping Costs and Issues

Let’s break down exactly what’s happening, resources for military families and what you can do to change the system.

Moving OCONUS

Moving overseas with pets is incredibly stressful. Just the quarantine process alone is daunting.

On top of months of vaccinations and isolation, military families are also looking at increasingly limited options for moving with their pets. Almost all of these come with skyrocketing costs and hoops to jump through.

Here are your shipping or flying choices:

Patriot Express: This is the cheapest and easiest option by far. It is also the most difficult to book.

With the Patriot Express, your pet would be flying with you on your military flight to your OCONUS destination. Rates vary based on weight and species but are significantly cheaper than commercial rates.

Getting a spot on the Patriot Express is not guaranteed.

Each service books these flights within different time windows based on projected departure dates. However, all pet spots for a given month are released at once and are booked first-come, first-served. There are typically three in-cabin spots and 10 cargo spots per flight.

This could mean that all spots on your flight are claimed before you are even allowed to book your human seats.

Commercial Cargo: Shipping your pet as cargo is pricier and limited by international shipping laws. Right now, United, American and Delta all offer some form of CONUS and OCONUS pet shipping programs.

Commercial cargo is usually for pets that will not be on the same flight as their owners.

Per new regulations, all three airlines now require that a professional registered pet shipping service serves as a middleman.

There are also regulations about temperature, breed and kennel size and weight.

Military Families Face Insane Pet Shipping Issues, Costs

Did you know that many pet shipping companies offer military discounts?

In-Cabin Pets: Most airlines allow animals to be transported as carry-on baggage. United, American and Delta all allow pets to be transported in the cabin to many destinations. This option is limited based on breed or species, size and weight.

But not all international destinations will allow in-cabin pet transport. For example, Japan requires that all pets be carried in the cargo area.

Checked Baggage: All three major carriers offer some form of checked baggage option for pets. American, United and Delta all have rules that limit the length of flights and destinations, as well as other regulations put in place for pet safety.

United does have some special rules that apply to military troops traveling on orders, but there are still limitations.

Pet Shipping Service: You can hand over control by using a professional pet shipping service. There are many companies that cater to military families moving CONUS and OCONUS.

Some pet shipping services specialize by destination or route(s), others are more general. These services are required for certain cargo or baggage categories. All services will offer different package options. They will charge a service fee beyond your pet’s airfare or airline cost.

Many military families opt to use a pet shipping service from the start to decrease stress.

Fly on Non-U.S. Flag Airlines: Some airlines from other nations offer pet shipping options with greater flexibility than U.S. airlines. If you are interested in flying with a non-US airline, it is best to individually research each airline to find one that meets your needs.

Costs will vary widely and may be more expensive than transportation via Patriot Express or U.S.-based airlines.

A Word About Guam

Currently, United Airlines is the only U.S. airline that serves Guam. There are some spots on the Patriot Express. United’s pet transport policy prohibits pet travel between Hawaii and Guam, but does accept pets going from/to other locations.

Some foreign airlines do serve Guam as well, but not all offer animal transportation services.

Timing Is Important

Space on the Patriot Express is extremely limited and should not be considered a “given” for any military family moving pets overseas.

If this is your only option financially and logistically, you need to act with intention as early as possible. Let your PCS coordinator know your pet transportation needs as soon as you can. Then, act quickly to expedite all necessary paperwork and clearances prior to your flight window opening.

Even acting quickly on your end doesn’t mean the military will feel the same sense of urgency. In this case, it’s best to stay in close contact with your PCS coordinator. If you missed out on a pet spot on your Patriot Express flight, call often to inquire about canceled reservations or request that your name is put on the waiting list for the next available pet spot.

If you are fairly certain that you either don’t want to gamble on a Patriot Express flight or won’t secure one, contracting with a private shipping company is typically your only option. It is now an across-the-board regulation that pets being shipped as cargo be handled by a member of the International Pet and Animal Transportation Association.

These companies will work with your chosen airline to fly your pet to your next duty station.

Different companies offer different options. Some have all-inclusive packages that handle every step of the process from veterinary appointments to arriving at your new home. Others will handle flights only, with accompanied and unaccompanied options.

Many pet shipping companies offer military discounts.

However, due to the increased needs of the military community, spots might fill quickly for professional transportation services. If this seems to be your best or more reliable option, it is advised to contact one or more transport companies as soon as possible. Ask them about their packages, pricing and military discounts. You might also inquire about references and track record for animal safety.

Let Your Voice Be Heard

Over the last year, as changes to pet shipping policies on commercial airlines rolled out, there have been various grassroots campaigns in the military community.

Several appeals for experiences and concerns to be shared have been posted in USMC and mixed-services groups. A local Okinawa Facebook group has been a point of contact for many military families located there to voice concerns and share their opinions. Concerns about the pet shipping policy, the system for releasing Patriot Express pet spots and other issues have all been raised through senior spouse points of contact over the last 18 months.

Troops and families can also voice their opinions via the ICE system or contact the Inspector General for further guidance.

We Can’t Afford to Take Our Pet

It can be hard to come up with possibly thousands of dollars to ship your pet around the world. The SPCA International sees this increasing need in the military community and has got your six.

Operation Military Pets aims to provide military families with grants to help cover part or all of their pet shipping costs related to PCSing. There is an application process and not all applicants will be accepted. Award amounts vary based on need and documentation.

If you are simply not able to cover the cost or handle the logistics, it’s important to keep your pet’s safety and comfort in mind.

The best option might be to temporarily rehome your pet with a close friend or family member for the duration of your overseas tour. If this is the case, be sure to get a power of attorney for the length of your tour or otherwise write down the terms of your agreement. Set aside money to cover the costs of your pet’s regular expenses, like medical care or food costs.

Another option might be to use a fostering service, like Dogs on Deployment or PACT for Animals. These organizations can help military families find suitable foster homes for various lengths of time.

As a final option, you might consider rehoming your pet permanently. You can do this yourself through social media and online advertising. You could also use a rehoming service to find your animal’s new family. As a final option, you might consider doing an owner-surrender at a local no-kill animal shelter.

PCSing OCONUS with Your Pet

PCSing OCONUS with your pet is going to be costly and complicated. There is not really any way to avoid that reality.

If you anticipate a possible OCONUS move in the future, start saving and planning now. We are already setting aside money to ship Winston stateside next spring. It’s going to be expensive, but having my battle buddy with me will be worth every penny!

Are you impacted by the pet shipping restrictions from United Airlines? Share your story in the comments section.

Can We Stop with the Ball Gown Shaming Already?

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Now look, I consider myself a pretty classy lady. I mostly prefer to dress teacher-chic, with twin sets, khakis and pearls. I’ve never in my life wondered whether I was wearing the correct outfit for an event.

Until I was dragged kicking and screaming into the cutthroat world of military ball gown shaming.

Can We Stop with the Ball Gown Shaming Already?

Can We Stop with the Ball Gown Shaming Already?

I’ve seen military spouses post pictures of their potential dresses on Facebook, only to have their selections obliterated with nasty comments.

Every year around this time, I start to see the social media posts about ball gowns. Many of them are pretty tame. In fact, one of my favorite threads recently has been a snarky post encouraging people to share the most out of control formal wear available on Amazon.

Inevitably, a bright-eyed, new military wife (yes, wife, because women are the only ones subjected to ball gown shaming) asks about what she should wear to a military birthday ball.

Then the floodgates open and the tsunami of ball gown opinions are unleashed.

“You should only ever wear a complimentary color to your spouse’s uniform.”

“Your gown must be floor length.”

“Watch those slits and low backs, ladies.”

I get it. You’re all trying to be helpful, passing on your experience. And a lot of these comments can help the new girl on the block find a dress.

Somewhere along the way, it seems like these conversations, real or virtual, take a turn to Judgement Town.

Who gave you permission to judge a person by what she wears?

I mean seriously, I’d like to know. Is there a certification process? Did the commandant personally appoint you as Marine Corps Ball Dress Code Monitor? Because I’d like to see your official badge.

I’ve seen military spouses post pictures of their potential dresses on Facebook, only to have their selections obliterated with nasty comments.

There are several different versions of the “classy, not trashy” ball gown post floating around. It usually has this type of headline “5 easy tips to not embarrass your service member at their ball!”

I get that a military ball is meant to be a super formal, very fancy event.

But can we stop for a moment and consider that most women are really dressing for two reasons? First, they want to look nice in a way that they feel good about. Second, they want to be even just slightly comfortable.

Not everyone sees beauty or fashion in the same way. If everyone saw things my way, high-waisted pants would never have made a comeback. We’d all be wearing super basic and comfortable pieces in easy to mix-and-match colors.

One woman might feel really beautiful and glamorous in a floor-length gown with cap sleeves. Another lady might feel equally beautiful in a bodycon dress that hits just below her knees.

It’s not your call to dictate how another woman feels beautiful.

I prefer an old school gown with a looser skirt and a strapless top in a shade of blue. Witness my closet full of blue gowns from the last decade of balls. I just feel better with a loose skirt, and it leaves more room for cake. I also like a dress with pockets for my mid-guest speaker snacks. Someone else might prefer to have full coverage up top, a tighter bodice or maybe a two-piece ensemble.

It’s not my call to tell someone else the best way for them to feel comfortable in their own skin.

“It’s not about you, it’s about the service member.”

You’re right, it is. Which is why I always run my possible dresses by my husband first. Guess what?

He doesn’t care.

I could show him a burlap sack and he’d be cool with it.

OK, he’d probably notice the scratchiness.

But you get my point.

If their service member doesn’t care what ball gown they wear, why should you?

Just to reiterate: this is not your ball, military spouse. You’ve said it yourself in more than one article by more than one writer. It’s been mentioned on more than one Facebook post over the years and across the services.

This year, can we stop shaming other ladies for their personal style choices?

There is no official Dress Code Inspector for military balls. It’s not a thing.

Instead of passing judgment over the length of her dress or a slit or a low back, let’s be grown-ups. Remember that she was just as careful in her dress selection as you were in yours. She fussed over her hair and shoes and makeup, just like you.

This year, at your military ball, give a genuine compliment to another lady. Let her know that her dress’s color highlights her eyes or tell her that you like the way it sparkles. Maybe see if she’s packing snacks in her dress pockets too.

What do you think of ball gown shaming? Why do you think military spouses do it?