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Parental Leave Policies Extended for Service Members

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New parents will soon benefit from more generous paid maternity medical leave, as well as primary and secondary parental leave instituted by the Air Force, Navy, Marine Corps and Coast Guard.

These new policies were updated as part of the Department of Defense Parental Leave Program and are retroactive to December 2016.

Parental Leave Policies Extended for Service Members

How do you think these generous parental leave policies will impact military families?

Military Extends Parental Leave Policy for Service Members

The updated and expanded parental leave policies apply to birth parents, including same-sex couples, as well as adoptive and surrogate parents.

Maternal convalescent leave and either primary or secondary parental leave may be combined. Non-convalescent parental leave can be used at any time within the child’s first year of life or after adoption.

Parental leave doesn’t have to be taken immediately after birth or adoption but can be spread out as desired by the service member. However, the allocated leave days must be taken consecutively.

Parents can determine if the active duty member will serve as a primary or secondary caregiver. Birth mothers are not automatically categorized as the primary caregiver.

Related: Should Women Be Included in the Draft?

While the coverage is relatively uniform in terms of inclusivity, there are some slight variations across the services. Additionally, the Army has not announced any changes to their parental leave policies at this time.

Air Force

Active duty airmen can now take up to six weeks of maternal convalescent leave. In addition, primary caregiver leave is also six weeks. Secondary caregiver leave is 21 days.

Personnel may only hold one caregiver designation

This policy is among the most generous of all four services that have announced changes.

“We now have not only the most generous parental leave policy in the Department of Defense, we have the most generous parental leave policy in the federal government,” Kaleth Wright, chief master sergeant of the Air Force, wrote in a Facebook.

Coast Guard

Those who serve in the Coast Guard are granted six weeks of maternal convalescent leave. Primary caregiver leave is also six weeks, with 21 days of secondary caregiver leave allowed. This new policy increases the secondary parental leave from 10 to 21 days.

“The strength of our Coast Guard families determines the strength of our Coast Guard,” said Adm. Karl L. Schultz, Coast Guard commandant. “That’s why time off to care for new family members is really a readiness issue.  Our members need – and deserve – time to bond with their new child and adjust to new routines so they can return to work ready to keep the nation safe.”

Navy

Sailors are authorized six weeks of maternal convalescent leave. Primary caregivers can take six weeks and secondary caregivers can take 14 days.

“Navy’s parental leave program supports Sailor 2025’s goal of removing obstacles that negatively influence a Sailor’s decision to stay Navy when they are looking to start or raise a family,” according to a statement from the Navy.

Marine Corps

Marines can take six weeks of convalescent leave, as well as six weeks of primary caregiver leave. Fourteen days of secondary caregiver leave is authorized under the updated policy. This mirrors the Naval parental leave policy as the Marine Corps falls under the Department of the Navy.

Extended Parental Leave General Policies

All updated parental leave policies are retroactive to December 23, 2016. Troops may combine maternal convalescent leave with either primary or secondary caregiver leave.

While leave categories may be taken separately or jointly, they must be taken in their entirety within the first year following birth or adoption. Service members can only qualify under one of the caregiver categories, per the descriptions in their service-specific guidance.

How do you think these generous parental leave policies will impact military families?

6 Ways to Save Your Child’s Mementos

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Before I got married, I lived in one house my whole entire life. For over 2 decades, I only had one place to include as my most recent address.

And all of my childhood memories were safely preserved in sealed plastic containers. From my beloved Beanie Babies and artwork to physical copies of report cards and my cap and gown, it was all there.

Now, I’m a military spouse and I’m lucky if we get to stay at one address for the full 3 years. I don’t have the weight allowance to save all of my children’s precious things. What’s a military parent to do?

6 Ways to Save Your Child's Mementos

Every child is an artist and a scholar.

6 Ways to Save Your Child’s Mementos

Shadow Box

A good friend recently shared a sweet baby keepsake: shadow boxes of the first year. In her boxes, she included:

  • the baby’s coming home outfit
  • Mom and baby hospital ID tags
  • a lock of hair from baby’s first haircut
  • pictures: ultrasound, newborn, 6 months, 1 year

I wish I had seen this before I passed my babies’ very small clothing along to friends. This is a fun way to keep those first moments and milestones with you, no matter where you go. Since everything is stored together, there is less chance of one item going missing.

You could repeat this process for other milestones in your child’s life, like sports, academics or art.

DIY Lovey

Even though other babies have worn my kid’s hand-me-downs, I’ve saved a few special outfits. Like the beautiful dress that my aunt bought for my daughter and the Eric Carle jammies that my son looks so sweet in. I don’t want to give these tiny clothes away, but I know we won’t use them again.

So I’m making them into stuffed animals! To be honest, I’m outsourcing this to my very crafty sister-in-law, but if you sew it’s possible to DIY this.

I’m excited to relive beautiful memories and gift my children with something they can treasure.

Portfolios

Every child is an artist and a scholar. As your kids grow and progress through school, they will come home with tons of papers. When your child enters preschool or kindergarten, buy an artist’s portfolio with pockets. You could choose the big size, designed to hold a large sketch or painting, or select a smaller version.

Label each pocket with a grade and year. As your child brings things home, sort through and keep the most memorable items and projects. Stash the papers in the correct grade section.

When your child graduates high school or is ready to relive childhood, pass the portfolio along!

Photo Books

Take this idea beyond family photos and document your child’s work and progress every year. Just like with a portfolio, sort through the papers and projects to select the cream of the crop or most important items.

Take a picture of 3D projects, science fair presentations and your child giving speeches. Scan academic awards, beautiful artwork and other flat papers.

Upload these images and files to your favorite photo book service. Add in pictures of your child from the year too. You could include school pictures, sports teams, groups of friends or field trips.

Put everything together into one photo book for that grade (September to July/August) or year (birthday to birthday). It’s like their own personalized yearbook. You could even leave space at the end for teachers to write notes!

Growth Chart

Growing up, we had one particular doorway in our house where we recorded our height. It’s a great visual of our lives. Unfortunately, my kids don’t have one particular doorway. Instead, we have a fabric growth chart that hangs between their rooms.

After every milestone doctor’s visit, I mark their height, their age and the date on the chart. Another fun spin would be to add handprints or footprints to the chart. You could also include photos of your children on their birthdays or at milestones.

Fabric growth charts are easy to roll up and take with you! Other options are giant wooden rulers or peel and stick wall clings.

Memory Blankets

Whether it’s baby clothes, favorite childhood shirts or athletic jerseys, creating a quilt or blanket out of your child’s clothing is a great way to keep the memories without the bulk.

There are services that can make these blankets for you or you can DIY if you are crafty. Shirt or clothing blankets make great gifts and keepsakes. Make a baby blanket out of jammies and onesies from your little one’s first year. Collect all of their sports jerseys over the years and turn it into a blanket at high school or college graduation.

How do you save precious objects or mementos for your children? Share your best ideas in the comments!

12 Great Ideas for Parent-Child Date Night

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Life gets busy. Stopping every so often to connect with your family and nurture relationships is vital to building a strong family unit.

While you might already take the time to bond with your spouse, it’s also important to connect with your children. Having one-on-one time can help you to talk about the tough stuff or create sweet memories. Use our ideas as a starting point for great parent-child date nights.

12 Great Ideas for Parent-Child Date Night

Dinner and a Movie

A sweet spin on a classic. Dinner and a movie is a sure-fire winner. Instead of going to a fancy place with white tablecloths, opt for a kid-friendly spot. A local diner can make good meals fast and the menu is usually pretty easy. Next, head to the theater to take in a new movie. If there isn’t anything playing, pick something to stream or rewatch a favorite movie at home.

Take a Hike

Getting outside will accomplish 2 goals. First, you’ll get some exercise and fresh air. Second, you’ll have your child all to yourself in the wilderness. Find a kid-friendly hiking trail near you and go. For added fun, pack a picnic with sparkling grape juice or seltzer water.

12 Great Ideas for Parent-Child Date Night

What ideas do you have for a parent-child date night?

Strike!

Bring your best game at the bowling alley! Most military bases have bowling lanes that offer shoe rentals and games at discount prices. Since bowling alleys usually have a snack bar, indulge in hot dogs, nachos and candy. You could make this a regular parent/child date and track who wins the most. There are also tons of bowling leagues to join.

Peanuts and Cracker Jacks

If bowling isn’t your thing, catch a few strikes at the baseball diamond. Whether you are going to a major league game or catching your local college team, baseball games are a great time to connect with a sports-loving kid. Buy some popcorn, cotton candy and, yes, Cracker Jacks to make the day extra special.

This type of parent/child date could be repeated for basketball, soccer, football and other spectator sports.

I Scream for Ice Cream

Parent-child dates don’t have to be expensive or over-the-top. Something as simple as grabbing a few scoops of ice cream together can be wonderful. You could head to your local favorite and order the usual. Or find another spot with rave reviews and take a short road trip.

Paint Night

While there are definitely many adult versions of this, some companies also offer a more family-friendly version. If not, this might be something to suggest to your PTO as a fundraiser. Laugh and be silly with your child as you both create beautiful works of art!

Take a Class Together

Wherever you are, there are sure to be lots of places that offer specialty classes. Many specialty stores also offer classes to customers. Find something that you and your child are both passionate about and enroll today. You’ll be learning a new skill and have regularly scheduled time together.

Play Hooky

A great way to build a bond, especially with older children, is to play hooky together. Call into work and pick up your child early. Then go out to lunch, grab a coffee and swing through a few stores. It will feel like you’re breaking the rules together and give you great one-on-one time when the crowds at the mall are smaller.

Beach Day

Yes, it can be fun to bring the whole family to the beach. It feels even more special when you go alone with your child. For starters, there will be less stuff to trek to the sand. Second, relaxing on the beach together or splashing in the waves can help you to start conversations and connect.

Roller Coasters

This is a more extravagant date but is super fun if you live near a theme park or have a fair in town. Take your child out for the day, or night, to ride a few thrilling rides together. Just remember to eat the tasty theme park treats after you take on the roller coasters.

Cultural Immersion

For the child that loves art, theater and music a parent-child cultural date might be the way to go. Pick a museum, concert or play to attend together. After, talk about your favorite moments or artworks over lunch.

All About Me

For this parent-child date, let your child take the reins. Let your child plan all or part of a day together. From where and what you eat to the activities, your child will be calling the shots. This is a great way to figure out what makes him or her tick.

An Important Parent-Child Date Tip

Make sure that you are creating dates based on your child and his or her interests. Taking an art-obsessed child to a baseball game might not go over too well.

It’s also important to remember to consider your other children. Arrange your dates so that your spouse is with your other children. Be sure to spread the solo time around evenly as well.

What ideas do you have for a parent-child date night? Share them in the comments!

How to Work From Home While Your Kids Are Home on Summer Break

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You’ve finally settled into a perfect rhythm. Post-drop-off, you grab a quick (hot) cup of coffee and get to work. You can spend the whole day networking, creating and getting your hustle on.

Except now, school is out for the summer and your kids are at home with you. Your beautiful angels will be home all day long. Just like that, your perfect work rhythm is seriously in jeopardy.

How to Work From Home While Your Kids Are Home on Summer Break

You may need to work in the evenings when your kids are home with you for their summer vacation.

With a few tweaks, though, you can still work from home during summer break.

Work From Home Solutions: Find Child Care

Summer Camp

Behold the beauty that is summer camp. Your children will be having glorious adventures every weekday during regular school hours. You, on the other hand, will be able to stick to your perfect work schedule.

Unlike (public) school, however, you will have to pay for the privilege of keeping your kids busy. Luckily for military families, there are many scholarships and even free camping opportunities out there! And there are endless camping possibilities. From your basic day camp to specialty activity camps to sleep-away camps, there truly is something for everyone.

Even if you only use summer camps for a few weeks, this option can seriously keep your work groove in the zone.

Mother’s Helper

What if a magical person came to your house for a few hours a day to entertain your children? These angels from heaven do exist and they are called mother’s helpers.

Mother’s helper is a perfect job for an older middle school or young high school student during summer break. It’s a great bridge between being a child and being an independent babysitter. Plus, mother’s helpers usually command slightly lower rates because you, the parent, will be home.

Additionally, you will be helping another young entrepreneur get his or her start in the business world! Ask around your church, social groups or schools. You never know who has a child that wants to gain child care experience.

Enlist Your Spouse

One of the perks of being a work-at-home-parent is that you can pull double duty as the primary caregiver and a breadwinner. But you absolutely need some alone time to work or just get out of the house. Schedule some time for your spouse to step into your shoes. Then you can set up shop in a cafe with wifi to work and enjoy a delicious latte or two.

Other Child Care Options

Set up play dates or child care swaps with other families during the week. Create a backyard full of entertainment with kiddie pools, sandboxes and maybe a swing set. Or head to a playground to change things up. You should definitely use every minute of naptime and create rest time for children who no longer nap.

Worst-case scenario? You might be pulling some night shifts to get your work done.

Work From Home Solutions: Workflow Optimization

Planning

Make sure that you know what you’re doing in your limited time. On Sunday night, after the kids are asleep, write everything down in your weekly planner. Include your kid’s activities, your work commitments and other tasks to complete.

Make note of any days when you know that you might need to get work done at night. Also be sure to include a countdown to any big project deadlines. This way you can mentally prepare and plan in advance.

Batch Your Work

Working from home means you wear a lot of different hats all the time. When you’re planning your work week, try to keep similar tasks on the same day.

For example, plan to schedule social media posts on Mondays and write new blog posts on Tuesdays. Or micro-batch things, like answering emails during your first 20 minutes and then make 1 sales call immediately after.

Cut the Extras

Figure out what is the core of your business and focus on that during the school-free months.

If you are self-employed or a freelancer, this can be easier. In the summer, try to keep it simple. It might be a good idea to think carefully about taking on new projects, clients or commitments. Unless you have found a way to carry your school-year schedule into summer, your work time might be significantly impacted.

For current projects, stick to the basics and essentials. Think about what you absolutely have to do to keep going.

If you work for someone else, now is a great time to remind your employer that your children will need more of your time during the summer. Ask about flexible scheduling, like working more nights and fewer days if you are on the clock. If your schedule will be drastically altered, see if you can work part-time or be used as a backup.

Work From Home Solutions: Spend Time Together

As important as work is, cherish these fleeting summers spent with your children. Even while you maintain your business or career, schedule in lots of time for fun day trips and vacations.

After all, that’s part of the appeal of working from home, right? You can enjoy your kids’ childhood and rock your career dreams!

Do you work from home? What do you do with your kids during summer vacation?

8 Alternatives to Putting Candy in Your Kid’s Easter Basket

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Cute little chocolate bunnies and peanut butter filled eggs are taunting you with every trip to the commissary. “Pick me,” they cry. “Put me in the Easter basket this year!”

Instead of getting your kids all sugared up at zero dark thirty, fill their baskets with non-candy treats! Here are 8 great things to grab that will last longer than the black jelly beans.

8 Alternatives to Putting Candy in Your Kid's Easter Basket

What do you put in your child’s Easter basket?

8 Alternatives to Putting Candy in Your Kid’s Easter Basket

Books

This is perfect for kids of all ages! From the touch and feel books for babies to chapter book for the older ones, everyone can use a new book.

Plus, there are so many directions you could take this. You could stick to Easter theme books with bunnies and Bible stories. Or go with a general spring theme, which opens up all those books about farming, baseball and flowers. Choose a book from a series your child loves, which could lead you into giving the sequels for other celebrations. Finally, just go nuts at the bookstore and grab anything that you think your kiddos would read.

Bubbles

Nothing says spring like tiny bubbles floating on a gentle breeze. And bubbles can keep children entertained while you hide the eggs for the hunt too. As an added bonus, bubbles and bubble accessories are usually pretty inexpensive. This means you can really stock up with different wands and automatic bubble-making toys.

Plus, bubbles are basically just soap. Which will make cleaning that face full of chocolate even easier!

Sidewalk Chalk

The sidewalks are probably clear of snow up north and it hasn’t gotten unbearably hot yet in the south. It’s the perfect time for sidewalk chalk! Kids are universally in love with chalk. They can create huge masterpieces with complex colors or draw up a quick game of hopscotch.

Kites

Spring is a perfect time to go fly a kite! Kites are everywhere right now, making it easy to pick one up. They also come in a variety of styles and at different price points. There are very affordable plastic varieties sold at drugstores everywhere. You could also go bigger and snag a fabric kite that might last a few seasons. Finally, there are very fancy kites that come with all sorts of bells and whistles.

Craft Kits

Instead of getting sticky fingers on Easter Sunday, your kids could be creating beautiful necklaces or putting together dinosaurs! There are craft kits in a variety of interest areas available for kids from preschool to college. Crafts can also help to keep everyone occupied during dinner prep or wake you from your post-feast daze.

And crafts can bring people of different generations together. Grandparents, aunts or uncles might want to pitch in when your little one starts to test his catapult kit!

Coloring Books

Coloring books are all the rage right now. There are complex, beautiful designs for older kids and adults, as well as the classics for the younger crowd. You’ll get major bonus points if your coloring books include stickers or have activities to complete. Throw in a new pack of crayons in the Easter basket and you’re golden!

Journals

Instead of the traditional blank notebook, check out unjournals or guided journals. These give you a prompt or ask you to finish a picture. These go beyond the basics of recording your thoughts and ask users to stretch their minds or think outside the box.

Puzzles

Like books, you could go any direction with puzzles. And they are perfect for every age group! There are the toddler puzzles with those chunky handles for littler kids. Or challenge your family with a 5,000-piece color gradient puzzle. There are also tons of puzzles in the middle. Pick a puzzle of a favorite piece of art or order your own puzzle made from a family photo. Grab some puzzle glue and a frame for a beautiful keepsake to hang on your walls.

What do you put in your child’s Easter basket? Tell us in the comments!

4 Tips for Becoming the School Lunch Master

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The dog days of summer are nearly complete which means that back to school is just around the corner. What’s our first challenge as we prepare for parent-teacher conferences and report cards? School supplies. We’ll claw through mounds of 3-ring binders and pocket folders.

But while you’re checking off the annual school supply list and double checking the bus route schedule, don’t forget to spend a few minutes thinking about lunch.

No, not your lunch, the amazing, delicious and healthy school lunches you’ll pack for your entire brood each and every day. What? What’s that?

You don’t have time to pack your child’s lunch?

Just the thought of packing your child’s lunch stresses you out?

Getting your kid to eat a healthy school lunch is like trying to lick your elbow? Hold up, don’t worry. You can do this. Here’s how:

4 Tips for Becoming the School Lunch Master

Packing healthy and delicious school lunches doesn’t have to be a chore. Here are 4 tips to make it easier.

If You Pack It, They Will Eat It: 4 Tips for Becoming the School Lunch Master

Gather School Lunch Ideas Before the First of School

I have a hard enough time just figuring out what shoes to wear every day and I don’t exactly have hours to brainstorm school lunch ideas. If only there was a tool that allowed people with this uber-secret super power to share their wonderful, magical lists of amazing school lunches with the world. But, wait! There is!

A quick Pinterest search for school lunch ideas will give you more ideas than you can shake a stick at.

Worst-case scenario, Google “school lunch ideas,” but whatever you do, don’t feel like you have to reinvent the wheel. Learn from those who have already mastered the art of the school lunch.

Quick Tip: If your kids are old enough, let them help you find ideas for lunch. Recent research shows kids involved in food prep often eat better. Plus it’s a great opportunity to talk about what’s healthy and why eating right is so important.

Get the Right Tool for the Job

Now that you’ve pinned enough school lunch ideas to feed your kid until he’s 21, it’s time to gather all of the nifty tools that make packing all of those lunches a breeze. Keep things like sandwich and snack-size food storage bags on hand at all times. Better yet, your budget and the environment will thank you for the purchase of reusable compartment containers.

Check your local Exchange and if you can, invest in several reusable compartment containers so you can pack more than one lunch at a time. Search for containers that are easy to open, easy to clean, and are dishwasher/microwave safe. Oh, and don’t forget the cold packs.

Quick Tip: Want to buy those reusable containers, but have a kid who is notorious for losing them? Try a reward system. A small daily or weekly reward (could be a quarter, could be a peanut butter cup in their lunch at the end of the week) can help remind them to bring their lunch containers home. Plus it’s a great opportunity to talk about being responsible for their things.

Prep Instead of Panic

Nothing can send me into a panic like waking up late on a school day. The easiest thing to fall by the wayside in a moment of fight or miss the school bus? Yep, lunch.

Eliminate the stress and strain (and the temptation to toss a handful of pretzels and an over-brown banana in her lunch box) by prepping school lunches the night before.

Quick Tip: Carve out an hour or so each weekend to prep things for lunches during the week. Boil a few eggs, cut carrots and celery into easy-to-pack sticks, pre-load small containers with peanut butter, hummus or ranch dressing for easy packing.

Don’t forget to get the kids involved. If your children are older, let them chop veggies. Younger kids can help wash fruit or put stuff in storage bags.

Think Beyond the Sandwich When Thinking About School Lunch

Remember all of those amazing lunch recipes you pinned? I’d wager to say that most of them didn’t involve slapping a little PB&J between 2 pieces of white bread.

Don’t get me wrong, I love a good PB&J, especially with a few sour cream and onion potato chips squished flat in the middle (I know it’s strange, don’t judge!), but a lot of kids get bored with the same thing day after day after day.

The key to making things perfect for school lunches is keeping everything bite-sized. No kid wants to bust out with a fork and knife, trust me. Try skipping the bread all together. Substitute cucumber slices, tortilla wedges or even mini waffles to mix things up.

Quick Tip: Prepare an extra dinner serving each night. Pan roasted sausage slices with a little barbecue sauce, meatballs with marinara, caprese salad, and sticky rice balls all make great sandwich-free lunch options.

What tips do you have for packing a healthy school lunch? Share your ideas in the comments section.

Resources for New Mothers Struggling with Postpartum Depression

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You’re having a baby. Congratulations! What a wonderful, exciting and terrifying time. Let’s add a PCS in there to help those already fluctuating hormones. If this is you, take a deep breath and find comfort that you are not the first milspouse to be expecting, moving and seeing your spouse off all at the same time. You are not alone.

Resources for New Mothers Struggling with Postpartum Depression

Knowing the signs of postpartum depression and recognizing it in yourself is the first step.

There is a great network of support out there for you; you just need to know how to find it and we’re here to help.

I am a planner. Things don’t always work out the way you want it to though, especially when you’re married to the military.

We planned and conceived our child while on shore duty and when I was 6 months into the pregnancy we PCSed from Florida to Virginia. I went from a small town I knew well where I had a job, friends and family to a big city where I had to find new doctors on my own while my husband went through chief’s initiation (read never home). He came home one day and told me he would be deploying shortly after our son would be born. That is a lot for a pregnant woman to handle.

Pregnancy hormones are often talked about and every woman’s experience is different. This was my first pregnancy. I was pretty optimistic, a happy person that took things in stride. I was very excited about our new life adventure. Basically, I was on a happy stride during my pregnancy. Then the baby came. What goes up must come down, or so the saying goes. I was so happy to be a new mother, to hold our precious 5.7 pound peanut and to have my husband here for the delivery. When I went home though, my hormones changed as my body adjusted to motherhood.

People don’t really talk about postpartum depression as a personal experience. It wasn’t until I had my baby that so many friends told me how depressed they were after giving birth.

How could anyone be depressed at having a wonderful child of their own? It isn’t something you can control, that’s how.

I consider myself a very strong person and didn’t want to admit to myself, let alone anyone else, that this could be something that I would face personally. But how do you deal with it?

Resources for New Mothers Struggling with Postpartum Depression

People don’t really talk about postpartum depression as a personal experience. Source: Photosavvy via flickr

Knowing the signs of postpartum depression and recognizing it in yourself is the first step; being brave enough to get help is the next. Postpartum Progress puts it in simple terms with a list of questions you should ask yourself. Does this sound like you?

  • You feel completely overwhelmed and helpless.
  • You feel guilty for feeling this way and that you are a terrible person for not being happy as you think you should be.
  • You want to hurt your baby or yourself or to run away from your family.
  • You feel angry, annoyed, irritated, sad or nothing at all.
  • You just know you are not yourself.

If this sounds like you, then reach out and get help. It might be terrifying, you might feel ashamed to admit it to friends or family, but you will feel so much better when you do. There are many resources for milspouses:

  • Utilize Tricare and talk to your doctor. She can give you a referral to a specialist.
  • Military OneSource is a free resource specifically for military families. They offer online support, live calls and links to find in-person help. I also like their guide to having a baby while your spouse is deployed.
  • Postpartum Support International offers live phone sessions where you can speak with a certified specialist. There are local support groups you can join and online resources as well.

    Resources for New Mothers Struggling with Postpartum Depression

    What resources would you recommend for new moms?

  • MOPS, Mothers of Preschoolers, is a wonderful group. It’s actually for moms of children from birth through kindergarten. It isn’t a postpartum depression group; it’s a group of mothers that laugh, cry, eat and talk about motherhood. If you are struggling in any way, go meet some other moms. You’ll learn you aren’t alone. I did.
  • Milspouses are great resources too. Talk to your best friend, your neighbor, your FRG leader or ombudsman. Just talking to another grownup can make a difference. Getting out of your pajamas and out of the house often can as well. Go to a spouse brunch or say yes to an invitation to coffee.
  • Talk to your spouse. This should be the first step, but for some it’s the hardest.

No matter which route you take, there is help out there for you. Reading this article was your first step, which one will you take next? Remember you are not alone.

What resources would you recommend for new moms?

Is Free Range Parenting the Norm for Military Families?

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Free range parenting. I am sure you have heard the term before. If you haven’t, free range defines a method of parenting that is a lot more relaxed. This type of parenting allows for children to have a lot more freedom and not as much hovering by the parents.

Is Free Range Parenting the Norm for Military Families?

Giving your children space doesn’t mean you have to let them roam the neighborhood all day, everyday.

You might have heard of the woman who let her 9-year-old ride on the subway alone in New York City. This would be a more extreme example of free range parenting.

If you visit any housing area on a military post, you will see a lot of kids being parented this way. This trend was one of the first things I noticed when we moved to our first duty station. At the time I had an 18 month old and I thought it was a bit strange to see so many kids out and about without any parents watching them.

I realized later this is the norm for military families and this type of parenting may not be such a bad thing after all.

On one hand it is good for children to have some space from their parents. Although I am always with my kids at the park, I rarely like to stand right by them when they play. I would rather they play on their own and have me there to watch from a distance. I have never been comfortable with sending them to the park alone.

Age also has something to do with how you should handle letting your child play. Allowing a 4 year old to go out and play alone is different then letting a 10-year-old child do so. There is also the issue that if your kid is out on post and there are parents out with their kids, they will feel responsible for your kid as well.

This happened a lot at the parks on post in Germany. I would be there with my 2 year old and a few other children I didn’t know. I felt like if something happened, I was the automatic “in charge” adult and I really didn’t like that I was. I was there with my little boy and he was my main focus. However, I couldn’t ignore what the other kids were doing.

Is Free Range Parenting the Norm for Military Families?

What do you think? Is free range parenting the norm for military families living on-post?

I think there is an idea that kids will be safer on a military post and so it should be perfectly fine to let them roam and be a free range parent all of the time. But is this true?

Are our children really safer because we are surrounded by military?

I think this issue is a complicated one in which all parents really need to think about.

I have heard a lot of people complaining about all the children who roam around their neighborhoods. Some of these kids are not doing anything wrong; they are just playing outside with their friends. Other kids do get into trouble and this can be an issue. Allowing so many children to roam can make on-post living a little frustrating whether you have your own children or not.

Ask yourself these questions whether you live on post or off. Figure out what your children can handle and what they can’t. Figure out what you are comfortable with and don’t just do what everyone else is doing.

  • Is your own child old enough to handle being without an adult?
  • Will your child stick to the rules and not cause others to get in trouble?
  • Are you sure that where they are playing is a safe place?
  • Do they know how to check in with you during the day?

Giving your children space doesn’t mean you have to let them roam the neighborhood all day, everyday. You can set up limits based on their personalities and ages. Use common sense and make sure you know where your children are going to be.

Do you think free range parenting is an issue in the military? Do you call yourself a free range parent?