military traditions

Community: A Dying Military Tradition That Needs to Make a Serious Comeback

12/04/2017 By Veronica Jorden

One of the things I remember most about growing up a military brat was the overwhelming sense of community that surrounded us, no matter where we lived.

If someone went TDY or was lucky enough to take leave to go home, we always made sure to keep an eye on their house or even mow their lawn if necessary.

If I got home from school and couldn’t find my key, there was always a neighbor willing to let me use their phone or hang out until my parents got home.

When I headed out into the world on my own, it was that very same sense of community I found lacking in the civilian world. It is one of the reasons why I eventually decided to join the military. But I have to say, things have changed a lot since I was a military kid.

With the rare exception, gone are the days of the welcome wagon. You know, that group of people, usually military spouses, who stopped by your house after you had a few days to settle in. They’d bring a plate of cookies or a pie and introduce themselves so you would know at least one person on your street. Then they’d share all the insider info you needed, like the best days to shop at the commissary or which primary care doctor to ask for.

Community is the best part of military life. How can we work together to bring it back?

But nowadays, we’ve given up extending a hand to those who might need a little help because it’s too much of a hassle.

We swear off spouses groups because we swear we just can’t handle all the drama.

It seems like we have given up the idea of actually meeting our neighbors and instead just focusing on how many friends we have on Facebook or how many times we get retweeted. And while I wouldn’t give up my social media accounts for anything, I really wish we could, as a community, remember that face-to-face conversations are as important, maybe more so than a text or instant message.

Community: A Dying Military Tradition That Needs to Make a Serious Comeback

Laughter shared over a cup of coffee will always be better than tweeting.

We need to make developing a sense of community and service to each other a priority.

Military unit success often depends on being tuned in, not only to an assigned task, but to the well-being of those around you. It creates a sense of team and comradely that binds a unit together.

It is an idea that I wish permeated beyond the boundaries of the FOB and into the greater military community.

It is all too easy to stay focused on your own lane, keep blinders on and just trudge forward.

But when one member of our community struggles, it creates ripples that impact us all.

A “hi” on Facebook or a follow on Instagram is a great way to break the ice, but when emergencies arise, we need to know that there is someone we can reach out to and lean on.

Over the course of my husband’s career, I can think of only one deployment where anyone from my military community, other than my husband, ever called or stopped by to check on me. And I know I’m not the only one.

There are no regulations that require this kind of community awareness, but we should take it upon ourselves to make sure that no matter the unit or location, no member of our community ever feels isolated or alone.

I say bring back the welcome wagon and the dinner brigade. Go out and meet your neighbors, organize a neighborhood potluck or cul-de-sac barbecue. Start caring about the well-being of those you pass on the street everyday. Be the kind face they need when the challenges of this life get to be too much. Be the resource they need when they don’t know who else to turn to.

Be as engaged and involved as you can be because a hug can never be replaced by a “like.”

Laughter shared over a cup of coffee will always be better than tweeting.

Make time and be open to cultivating relationships with the flesh and blood people in your community.

You may be just the friend they need to get through a tough time. And they end up doing the same for you.

Is the military community dead? Do people ever come out from behind their screens and talk to each other?

Military Retirement or Promotion Gifts Your Service Member Will Treasure

06/09/2017 By Veronica Jorden

Promotions and retirements are marked with a ceremony and plenty of military pomp and circumstance. But in addition to all of the official protocols, a thoughtful gift can help show your support to their military career and provide a reminder of their years of service when it is time to retire or transition.

Do a quick online search and you’ll find thousands of vendors offering up some really great promotion or retirement gift ideas. It can be a little overwhelming.

How do you pick the right gift? The one that says “I support and love you” and “I am proud of your accomplishments?”

Here are 10 ideas to inspire you.

Military Retirement or Promotion Gifts Your Service Member Will Treasure

Have you given your service member a promotion gift that he or she loved?

For Promotion

The Traditional Black Pen

No soldier’s uniform is complete without a black pen, so they make a perfect gift. Just make sure the barrel isn’t too wide to fit into the pen slot on their uniform and make sure the color is within regulation. Have it engraved with the new rank and date of promotion or total days of service. You might even consider making this gift a tradition with each promotion. That way, you’ll have a whole collection when it comes time to transition or retire.

A Cup of Memories

Coffee, tea, water or beer, pick his or her favorite beverage and make it a promotion gift. Have it personalized to reflect the new rank or a motto that resonates with your spouse.

Books of Interest

Consider a military strategy book or a biography of a military hero as a gift. Make the gift even more special by asking members of the service member’s unit to add a note of encouragement to the inside pages.

Photographs

Make sure you take photos of the promotion ceremony and consider having professional photos taken with your newly promoted family member. If you are having a post-promotion celebration, make sure you take a group photo and have attendees sign the matting or a card that can be included when the picture is framed.

Tools of the Trade

As service members move up in the ranks, their responsibilities grow. Consider gifts that help them establish their office or help them in the field. Things like a name placard for their desk or a multi-purpose utility tool.

For Military Retirement

The Shadow Box

All of those old unit insignia, rank pins, medals and awards perfectly arranged into a piece of art. Go traditional or something a little more unique, shadow boxes are definitely not one-size-fits-all. Check out these ideas or if you’re feeling up to it, this gift makes for a great DIY project.

Flags

Many veterans like to fly flags in front of their homes. With a little advanced planning, you can request a U.S. flag that has been flown over the U.S. Capital. Or consider coordinating with the installation command of a favorite duty station and request a flag flown there.

If your service member is just beginning their career, consider purchasing a flag at your first duty station and have it flown at each one up until retirement! Just make sure you observe proper flag protocols as you take it from place to place. You might also consider a Corp or Branch flag. Check your local exchange or military surplus store to buy your flag.

Words of Wisdom

Ever hear that story about the Dad who bought a copy of “Oh, the Places You’ll Go” and had his child’s teacher’s sign it as she was growing up and then gave the book to her at graduation? As service members grow through the ranks, they serve with many leaders. Consider modifying this idea by finding a really great military leadership book and having unit leadership add a note to your service member as they depart each duty station.

Or use social media to reach out to those service members your spouse served with in the past and ask them to send you a card or note, along with a picture, that you can have printed into a bound memory book.

Memory Boxes

Kind of like a hope chest, memory or keepsake boxes are wooden chests used to house all of the memories of service. You could include a uniform, pictures, awards and all the other bits and pieces that come with a long military career.

A Lasting Impact

Consider donating to a nonprofit organization and purchasing a stone or plaque in your service member’s honor (Check out the Name-A-Seat program at the Pritzker Military Museum). This gift takes a little more research, but if there is a cause or location near and dear to your service member, this might be the perfect way to commemorate their service and give back at the same time.

Have you given your service member a gift that he or she loved? Tell us about it in the comments section.

A Military Spouse’s Guide to the Military Ball

10/09/2015 By Julie Provost

It’s Navy Ball time. The Marine Corps Birthday Ball is right around the corner.

Are you nervous about attending a military ball? Here are MilitaryShoppers’ tips on attire, planning and etiquette for military spouses.

What Should I Wear?

When it comes to dressing for a military ball, you have a lot of options. There is going to be a dress code but after that the choice is up to you. You should keep in mind that you do want to coordinate with your service member as they will be wearing their dress blues.

Before my husband joined the military, I thought my ball gown-wearing days were over. I was excited to be able to go out and shop for one once I heard about going to a military ball. I went shopping with my mom and found a nice black dress at the local mall.

When you go shopping for a dress for the military ball, think about what you might wear to a fancy wedding. Long dresses are better than short ones. A military ball lasts a long time so you need to make sure you are comfortable.

If you don’t have a big budget, shop the sales. You don’t have to spend a lot on a dress if you can find a good deal.

How Do I Plan?

With planning for the ball, you should make sure you have your dress, shoes to match and a purse. You will want something to take with you to carry your cell phone, makeup and ID or wallet.

After your appearance, knowing what to expect can be helpful. You can break down the military ball into different stages. The first part is the cocktail hour. This is when people are arriving and you get to greet other people. You are also able to get drinks. No one has to be seated yet and you can stand around with your spouse and their friends.

After the cocktail period is over you will go through the receiving line before you sit down for dinner. You will also need to get your photos taken. We have usually done this first so we don’t have to worry about them anymore.

When it’s time to sit down for dinner you will notice that you have an assigned seat. You should be sitting with those in your spouse’s company and their dates. There will be spouses, girlfriends and good friends because the service member can invite who they want as their date. At all of the balls we have been to, the food has been a buffet. You stand in line and pick out what you want and then go sit down again.

At some point after you get your food, the program will start. This will included a few speeches, some toasts, a prayer, etc. You will get a schedule and be able to follow along.

After the program, they will open up the dance floor and you will be free to dance, get more food, get more drinks or just socialize until you want to go home.

What etiquette do I need to follow?

Remember that the military is filled with traditions. The military ball is one of them and certain etiquette needs to be followed. Some of what you need to do is common sense but some traditions you might not be used to.

You need to make sure that your dress does not show too much skin and that the dress is modest. In some cases you will not be allowed to wear a strapless dress unless you keep a wrap on at all times. You should get information from your command about what to expect at your particular military ball.

During the formal part of the military ball you need to be respectful and pay attention to what is going on. You don’t want to be talking when you shouldn’t be and you don’t want to be playing with your phone. There will be toasts and you need to be paying attention to those.

When you are going through the receiving line, make sure you follow your service member, smile and be professional. It might feel really intimidating when going through the line but the line is also a good way to meet the commanders and their spouses.

As long as you are respectful, dress appropriately and do what you should be doing at the right time, the military ball will go well for you and you should have a good time.

I personally have always loved the food, spending time with my husband and getting to see a part of the military I don’t normally get to see.