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How Do Unemployment Benefits Work for Military Spouses Living Overseas?

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Filing for unemployment isn’t as complicated as it once was. If you are a military spouse that has lost a job due to PCSing with your service member, you may be eligible for unemployment benefits. There are many factors that go into determining if you qualify along with how much money you can receive. Finding out if you do qualify and how much you may receive does not have to be difficult anymore as most states have this information readily available online.

How Do Unemployment Benefits Work for Military Spouses Living Overseas?

Many states do not spell out whether moving overseas qualifies or disqualifies a military spouse from receiving unemployment benefits.

There are now 46 states, as well as the District of Columbia, that provide unemployment insurance for military spouses that leave their jobs specifically to follow their service members on a new assignment.

Only Idaho, Louisiana, North Dakota and Ohio consider leaving a job for this reason to be “voluntary” and therefore not a good reason for leaving a job under any wavier.

Ohio worked on legislation last year to include military spouse relocation due to a PCS to be eligible for compensation. It however stalled in the state House in November with some opposing the bill saying they are already borrowing money from the government and without asking for further funds, this would create a heavier tax on businesses.

When filing for unemployment, make sure you apply in the state in which you worked; not the state or country that you have moved to. If you worked in any of those 4 states that do not offer unemployment for military spouses, then you do not qualify unless there are other circumstances you can claim exemption with. A link to each state’s unemployment information is available here. If you are unsure whether you qualify or not, go ahead and apply anyway. You can always file an appeal if you are denied the first time.

Some states have a specific clause under qualifications for unemployment to account for military spouses relocating out of state while others simply have a blanket statement for any spouse that moves a specific distance from their current job to follow a spouse to their new job assignment. The latter is known as a trailing spouse and applies to any spouse, military or not. Both of these are considered a voluntary quit with good cause.

Many states do not spell out whether moving overseas qualifies or disqualifies a military spouse from receiving unemployment benefits. Each state has its own laws regarding unemployment. There are a few states that have laws that specifically exclude moves overseas however. If you can make a case that you will be able to apply for jobs in America while overseas, then you may be approved for unemployment benefits after all.

Remember that each state is different and that laws constantly change. If you did not qualify a few moves ago, don’t be deterred this time. Perhaps the laws have changed in your favor. For example, Virginia only passed the military spouse unemployment compensation bill in 2014 and Ohio is still considering theirs.

Not only does every state have its own rules for qualification, but they also have different steps you must take to get unemployment benefits. The amount of compensation you may receive and the duration of benefits may differ as well.

Before you leave your job, make sure you check your state’s guidelines first. While leaving your job early to prepare for a move or to take a vacation before you PCS may sound good, you may lose out on unemployment if you quit too early. South Carolina for example only allows a person to resign from their job 15 days prior to a move.

Things to know when filing for unemployment:

  • Most states have a minimum amount of time that you must have worked in that state to qualify.
  • The amount of money you will receive is based on a percentage of your earnings over the previous 52 weeks.
  • Most states cap the amount of time you can receive unemployment benefits to 26 weeks.
  • Unemployment benefits are taxed. You will have to report them on your federal income tax return.
  • Filing for unemployment does not penalize your former employer. Unemployment insurance comes from the state’s general unemployment fund.

Go to your state’s website for unemployment and read all of the rules before you quit your job. When filing, you will likely need a copy of your service member’s PCS orders. If you leave a job in America to follow your spouse on their job assignment overseas, you may qualify for unemployment. You would need to be able to show that you are able to continue looking for work from an American business while you are abroad however.

If you worked while overseas with your spouse and have now received orders back to the United States you may be wondering if you can get unemployment that way. In some cases it is possible. You paid taxes on the money you earned abroad. Some of that money goes into the unemployment fund. You can apply for unemployment in your state of residency if you worked for an international company. If you worked for an American company while overseas, then you would apply for unemployment benefits from the company’s state of home office.

What questions do you have about unemployment? Post them in the comments section and we will try to answer them in a future article.

How to Work From Home While Your Kids Are Home on Summer Break

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You’ve finally settled into a perfect rhythm. Post-drop-off, you grab a quick (hot) cup of coffee and get to work. You can spend the whole day networking, creating and getting your hustle on.

Except now, school is out for the summer and your kids are at home with you. Your beautiful angels will be home all day long. Just like that, your perfect work rhythm is seriously in jeopardy.

How to Work From Home While Your Kids Are Home on Summer Break

You may need to work in the evenings when your kids are home with you for their summer vacation.

With a few tweaks, though, you can still work from home during summer break.

Work From Home Solutions: Find Child Care

Summer Camp

Behold the beauty that is summer camp. Your children will be having glorious adventures every weekday during regular school hours. You, on the other hand, will be able to stick to your perfect work schedule.

Unlike (public) school, however, you will have to pay for the privilege of keeping your kids busy. Luckily for military families, there are many scholarships and even free camping opportunities out there! And there are endless camping possibilities. From your basic day camp to specialty activity camps to sleep-away camps, there truly is something for everyone.

Even if you only use summer camps for a few weeks, this option can seriously keep your work groove in the zone.

Mother’s Helper

What if a magical person came to your house for a few hours a day to entertain your children? These angels from heaven do exist and they are called mother’s helpers.

Mother’s helper is a perfect job for an older middle school or young high school student during summer break. It’s a great bridge between being a child and being an independent babysitter. Plus, mother’s helpers usually command slightly lower rates because you, the parent, will be home.

Additionally, you will be helping another young entrepreneur get his or her start in the business world! Ask around your church, social groups or schools. You never know who has a child that wants to gain child care experience.

Enlist Your Spouse

One of the perks of being a work-at-home-parent is that you can pull double duty as the primary caregiver and a breadwinner. But you absolutely need some alone time to work or just get out of the house. Schedule some time for your spouse to step into your shoes. Then you can set up shop in a cafe with wifi to work and enjoy a delicious latte or two.

Other Child Care Options

Set up play dates or child care swaps with other families during the week. Create a backyard full of entertainment with kiddie pools, sandboxes and maybe a swing set. Or head to a playground to change things up. You should definitely use every minute of naptime and create rest time for children who no longer nap.

Worst-case scenario? You might be pulling some night shifts to get your work done.

Work From Home Solutions: Workflow Optimization

Planning

Make sure that you know what you’re doing in your limited time. On Sunday night, after the kids are asleep, write everything down in your weekly planner. Include your kid’s activities, your work commitments and other tasks to complete.

Make note of any days when you know that you might need to get work done at night. Also be sure to include a countdown to any big project deadlines. This way you can mentally prepare and plan in advance.

Batch Your Work

Working from home means you wear a lot of different hats all the time. When you’re planning your work week, try to keep similar tasks on the same day.

For example, plan to schedule social media posts on Mondays and write new blog posts on Tuesdays. Or micro-batch things, like answering emails during your first 20 minutes and then make 1 sales call immediately after.

Cut the Extras

Figure out what is the core of your business and focus on that during the school-free months.

If you are self-employed or a freelancer, this can be easier. In the summer, try to keep it simple. It might be a good idea to think carefully about taking on new projects, clients or commitments. Unless you have found a way to carry your school-year schedule into summer, your work time might be significantly impacted.

For current projects, stick to the basics and essentials. Think about what you absolutely have to do to keep going.

If you work for someone else, now is a great time to remind your employer that your children will need more of your time during the summer. Ask about flexible scheduling, like working more nights and fewer days if you are on the clock. If your schedule will be drastically altered, see if you can work part-time or be used as a backup.

Work From Home Solutions: Spend Time Together

As important as work is, cherish these fleeting summers spent with your children. Even while you maintain your business or career, schedule in lots of time for fun day trips and vacations.

After all, that’s part of the appeal of working from home, right? You can enjoy your kids’ childhood and rock your career dreams!

Do you work from home? What do you do with your kids during summer vacation?

Military Retirement or Promotion Gifts Your Service Member Will Treasure

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Promotions and retirements are marked with a ceremony and plenty of military pomp and circumstance. But in addition to all of the official protocols, a thoughtful gift can help show your support to their military career and provide a reminder of their years of service when it is time to retire or transition.

Do a quick online search and you’ll find thousands of vendors offering up some really great promotion or retirement gift ideas. It can be a little overwhelming.

How do you pick the right gift? The one that says “I support and love you” and “I am proud of your accomplishments?”

Here are 10 ideas to inspire you.

Military Retirement or Promotion Gifts Your Service Member Will Treasure

Have you given your service member a promotion gift that he or she loved?

For Promotion

The Traditional Black Pen

No soldier’s uniform is complete without a black pen, so they make a perfect gift. Just make sure the barrel isn’t too wide to fit into the pen slot on their uniform and make sure the color is within regulation. Have it engraved with the new rank and date of promotion or total days of service. You might even consider making this gift a tradition with each promotion. That way, you’ll have a whole collection when it comes time to transition or retire.

A Cup of Memories

Coffee, tea, water or beer, pick his or her favorite beverage and make it a promotion gift. Have it personalized to reflect the new rank or a motto that resonates with your spouse.

Books of Interest

Consider a military strategy book or a biography of a military hero as a gift. Make the gift even more special by asking members of the service member’s unit to add a note of encouragement to the inside pages.

Photographs

Make sure you take photos of the promotion ceremony and consider having professional photos taken with your newly promoted family member. If you are having a post-promotion celebration, make sure you take a group photo and have attendees sign the matting or a card that can be included when the picture is framed.

Tools of the Trade

As service members move up in the ranks, their responsibilities grow. Consider gifts that help them establish their office or help them in the field. Things like a name placard for their desk or a multi-purpose utility tool.

For Military Retirement

The Shadow Box

All of those old unit insignia, rank pins, medals and awards perfectly arranged into a piece of art. Go traditional or something a little more unique, shadow boxes are definitely not one-size-fits-all. Check out these ideas or if you’re feeling up to it, this gift makes for a great DIY project.

Flags

Many veterans like to fly flags in front of their homes. With a little advanced planning, you can request a U.S. flag that has been flown over the U.S. Capital. Or consider coordinating with the installation command of a favorite duty station and request a flag flown there.

If your service member is just beginning their career, consider purchasing a flag at your first duty station and have it flown at each one up until retirement! Just make sure you observe proper flag protocols as you take it from place to place. You might also consider a Corp or Branch flag. Check your local exchange or military surplus store to buy your flag.

Words of Wisdom

Ever hear that story about the Dad who bought a copy of “Oh, the Places You’ll Go” and had his child’s teacher’s sign it as she was growing up and then gave the book to her at graduation? As service members grow through the ranks, they serve with many leaders. Consider modifying this idea by finding a really great military leadership book and having unit leadership add a note to your service member as they depart each duty station.

Or use social media to reach out to those service members your spouse served with in the past and ask them to send you a card or note, along with a picture, that you can have printed into a bound memory book.

Memory Boxes

Kind of like a hope chest, memory or keepsake boxes are wooden chests used to house all of the memories of service. You could include a uniform, pictures, awards and all the other bits and pieces that come with a long military career.

A Lasting Impact

Consider donating to a nonprofit organization and purchasing a stone or plaque in your service member’s honor (Check out the Name-A-Seat program at the Pritzker Military Museum). This gift takes a little more research, but if there is a cause or location near and dear to your service member, this might be the perfect way to commemorate their service and give back at the same time.

Have you given your service member a gift that he or she loved? Tell us about it in the comments section.

If They Made Military Spouse Medals, We’d Want These

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Our military men and women earn medals, ribbons and awards for going above and beyond the call of duty. Well, military spouses certainly serve in their own way in their own communities, just with much less recognition.

If They Made Military Spouse Medals, We'd Want These

What medals, ribbons or awards do you think military spouses earn during their military life journey?

If military spouses were to earn medals, ribbons or awards, these are a few that we would like to see.

If They Made Military Spouse Medals, We’d Want These

Faithful Friend Award

Military spouses stick together through thick and thin. We show up, with snacks and drinks, during the worst of times. From pinch-hitting on child care to celebrating birthdays, we are there for each other. Sometimes, we even fill in for deployed spouses during birth and delivery!

Through thick and thin, our military spouse friendships sustain and support us across the miles.

Positive PCS Ribbon

We don’t get to pick where we live and most times, we don’t get even a little bit of a say or even a top 5 list. Instead, no matter where we land, we try to make the very best of any situation.

Before we even move, we research new schools, parks and local attractions in our new hometown. We are pumping up the kids and ourselves, planning fun experiences and decorating new bedrooms.

Balanced Budget Campaign Medal

Military salaries are not plush when compared to the amount of risk and work taken to earn them. Military spouses are often forced to take salaries below their education level or remain unemployed, due to frequent moves. Balancing that tight budget can be tricky.

Through dedicated coupon cutting and savvy shopping, we somehow figure it out. We serve nutritious meals. We purchase clothes to suit every clime and place. And we keep a roof over our heads, even if that home has very white walls.

It’s not easy, but we make it work!

Career Flexibility Merit Award

Military spouses are ambitious. Many of us have college degrees, some of us even have advanced education. Others have certifications in a slew of careers, from beauty to child care. We are always trying to find that next thing, at the next duty station.

Despite all that education and planning, military spouses are notoriously underemployed or unemployed. Yet, we take the setbacks and hiccups in our careers in stride. When we can’t find something that perfectly suits our background, we create positions or retrain in a different field. We volunteer to learn new skills.

Above all, we are flexible and willing to meet the needs of the military. Even when that means sacrificing a job that we love.

Meritorious Volunteer Ribbon

When a military unit needs something handled, the military spouse is right there. We are ready to serve in volunteer positions both on and off base. From family readiness groups to religious organizations, we are more than willing to step in.

Military units rely on us to organize care packages, host family fun days and activate phone trees. Without us, so many necessary tasks wouldn’t get accomplished.

Family Travel Agent Award

Everyone loves a vacation! Military spouses are experts at planning economical and fun adventures. We work those military discounts like a boss.

We search out places that will cut us a deal on hotels, cruises and airfare. From Disney’s Military Salute discounted tickets to Sandal’s 10% discount, we are like bloodhounds for the best deals.

Facebook Friendship Medal

Facebook and blogs have created connections between military spouses across continents and around the world. We reach out to each other online with questions, concerns and helpful hints. Facebook groups help us to find job leads and the best restaurants in our new hometown.

Social media is our sounding board and go-to place for stand-in therapists. We get the dirt on Tricare rules and regulations, and can ask the what-ifs of life. Even after our spouses have left active service, online groups allow us to connect to friends in similar situations.

The best part is when our online friends turn into real life friends. With how often we move, the chances are good that one day soon you’ll bump into a Facebook friend IRL.

What medals, ribbons or awards do you think military spouses earn during their military life journey? Tell us in the comments section.

How to File for Unemployment When You PCS

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In the 18 years I’ve called myself an Army wife, we have PCSed 9 times. In those same 18 years, I’ve held 16 different jobs and a handful of temp positions.

Up until recently, the longest I had ever a job with the same company was 2 years. Some of that transition was thanks to low pay or lay-offs. Other jobs came and went because of our expanding family.

But the vast majority of jobs lost (and gained) have been because of a PCS.

As if picking up and moving from one side of the country (or world) to the other isn’t stressful enough.

No, there is nothing like worrying about making ends meet while searching for your next house-to-call-home, unpacking your household goods, and just getting a general lay of the land.

Want to find something that utilizes your skill set and offers competitive pay too? Teleporting to Mars might be easier.

How to File for Unemployment When You PCS

Have you filed for unemployment related to a PCS?

Thankfully, most states recognize the unique and transient nature of our particular lifestyle. State legislatures have eased or expanded unemployment benefits to include military spouses who voluntarily leave jobs to follow active-duty service members.

While your unemployment benefits won’t finance a tropical vacation or help put a new car in the driveway, they can help to ease the financial strain of a lost job and give you a little more time to get settled.

What Military Spouses Need to Know About Unemployment Benefits

When we PCSed for the first time, the internet was barely a thing. And Google, well, it was just a number. If a PCS is in your future (when is it not?), then while you are scouring online rental listings and local happenings, carve out a few minutes to check out unemployment benefits for your state.

Remember, unemployment is filed in the state where you are currently employed, not the one you are moving to.

Forty-six states offer some kind of unemployment benefit to military spouses (only North Dakota, Ohio, Louisiana, and Idaho do not.) But, every state is different in its requirements, so don’t just assume you’ll qualify. Check out this list for links to unemployment information in your state.

Get Familiar with Dates and Requirements Related to Unemployment Benefits

While researching eligibility, pay special attention to deadline and cut off dates and requirements for seeking employment once you reach your new duty station. Some states allow trailing spouses to terminate employment 30 days prior to the report date printed on your orders, for others it may only be 15 or 10 days. Plan accordingly.

Also, pretty much every unemployment program requires that recipients be actively searching for a new job. Often there are weekly or bi-weekly reporting requirements.

If you are planning on taking vacation in conjunction with your PCS move, make sure you schedule some time to begin your job search while you are enjoying your time off.

Make Copies of Your Service Member’s PCS Orders

To qualify for unemployment under the military spouse or trailing spouse option, you will need to provide a copy of your active duty spouse’s PCS orders. Just make sure the orders include provisions for accompanying dependents.

If they don’t, you may not be eligible for unemployment benefits. Check your orders and get them amended if need be.

Research Lateral Positions Within Your Current Company

Some states will require military spouses to take lateral positions within a company if one is available in conjunction with or in lieu of unemployment benefits. And the only way to know is to learn the laws that apply to your state.

If you can, make an appointment or call your local labor office. They should be able to help you find the information you need and explain the application process.

And while you’re at it, visit with your employer’s HR department. Many companies have programs to help employees transfer upon relocation.

Find Job Hunting Resources Right Away

Don’t wait until you’re neck-deep in packing tape and inventory sheets to start scoping job resources.

Don’t wait until you’re already feeling the pinch of a lost second income.

Do yourself a favor and start your job search as soon as you find out where you’ll be moving. Use social media to network with military spouses already in the area and contact Fleet and Family Services or Army Community Services at your new duty location. They often have an employment counselor on staff who can help you find job resources while you are transitioning in.

Sites like Indeed.com can give you an idea about the companies and jobs available in surrounding areas. Identify companies you might be interesting in work for and start making connections with recruiters if you can. Just make sure you are clear about your start date availability.

Have you filed for unemployment related to a PCS? Tell us about your experience in the comments section.

 

Are You an Introvert and a Military Spouse? You’re Not Alone

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Yet another mandatory family fun day and you’re feeling like it will be anything but fun. All those people that you just don’t know, loud music and friendly banter.

It sounds like a recipe for a terrible day for an introvert.

This is also the stereotypical picture of what it means to be a military spouse. Given how much we move, it can often seem like the best, and often only, way to make friends is to join in these large, loud events. Or to just show up with baked goods whenever a new neighbor moves in.

Are You an Introvert and a Military Spouse?

When you are an introvert, the social events and FRG meetings of military life may seem overwhelming.

Here are ways to find friends and socialize when you’re a military spouse who’s an introvert.

Find Your Peeps Online

Military spouse networks are popping up like daisies online! From blogs to Facebook to Instagram, there are so many fun people and groups to join or follow.

First, check out your base-specific Facebook groups. Sometimes these are secret or closed, and you may need to be approved by an admin. However, these groups can help you to navigate your duty station or to make new friends. From school and restaurant recommendations to the dish on what all those sirens were, base groups will give you all the information.

Next, check out blogs and pages that are service specific. For new spouses, you can learn a lot about traditions and customs. “Seasoned” spouses can share knowledge and help others. Everyone can get info on different duty stations or events, and even job opportunities!

Beyond branch of service and duty stations, there are Facebook groups for professional military spouses, spouses who blog, spouses who are attorneys and spouses who (fill in the blank). There are also tons of blogs covering all aspects of military life, from helping parents with K-12 education to parenting to everyday military life. Check it out!

Connect Offline Too

Once you join a few online groups, try to keep track of other people that have similar interests or that you have interacted with. You could both be commenting on the same posts, asking the same questions or live in the same neighborhood.

Send a private message to someone that you think might be a good friend for you. Chat online until you (or your friend) feel comfortable bringing up meeting in real life. Get together for coffee or go do something that both of you enjoy. It could be anything from cosplay to riding horses to sitting on the beach.

Use Friends to Make Friends

Once you have a core group of friends at your current duty station, try to find new friends through them. It’s a small world in the military. Chances are good that your friends will know at least one person at your next hometown. When you get orders, ask your IRL or online friends to help you make connections.

Or your friends might be able to expand your friendship circle where you already live. Take a chance and invite a friend of a friend to join you for coffee or drinks.

If you have kids, you can even use them to make new connections. Reach out to the parents of a good friend of your own child and schedule a play date or playground meet-up. A play date will have a specific end time, and you can get to know the other parent(s) over coffee at home.

Playgrounds are neutral territory and you can make an easy exit if things aren’t going well.

Alternately, you could keep the fun going or schedule another get together easily.

Check Out Specialty Groups

What do you like? Check online and on base for like-minded groups. There are groups for runners, bloggers, people of all religious faiths, book clubs and the list goes on.

You could connect online at first and then check out a group meet-up later.

Getting to know other people who share your interests can help you to connect with the military and civilian population. Plus, there will likely be similar groups at many bases. When you move, reach out to the local chapter of your group. You’ll be able to make friends more quickly and easily!

Socialize on Your Terms

Sometimes typical military spouse tasks are unavoidable, but you can make them your own. Try to volunteer or participate on your terms.

Offer to help with the children’s corner, organize donated items or bring items for a potluck. You’ll be helping out the unit and meeting new people, just in smaller doses. You never know if you might bond over sharing apple pie recipes or figuring out the best way to get care packages to deployed troops for the holidays!

Take a Break

Being an introvert, you value your alone time. Honor your needs and take a break when you need one. You could duck outside at a party or take a walk during a family fun day. Plus, it is not unusual at all for people to use their smartphones, so don’t hesitate to escape into Facebook for a little while.

If you simply don’t want to take on a task or attend an event, decline graciously or suggest an alternative. You shouldn’t be afraid to say no!

No matter how you choose to make friends, having a strong support network can be key to making the most of military life!

Are you an introvert? How do you find friends as a military spouse?

How to Get Through an Emergency While Your Spouse Is Deployed

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Without fail, if something is going to go wrong it will happen while your spouse is on deployment. It is the Murphy’s Law of the military and many military spouses say you haven’t been through a deployment until something has gone wrong.

How to Get Through an Emergency While Your Spouse Is Deployed

Have you handled an emergency situation while your service member was on deployment?

Here are 6 emergency situations military spouses may face during a deployment and how to get through them.

Natural Disaster

No matter where you are stationed, there is always a possibility of a natural disaster. This could include flooding, hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes, mud slides, tsunami and more.

What plans do you have in place in case of a natural disaster while your spouse is on deployment?

Before deployment, create a disaster kit together. This should include 1 gallon of water per person per day for 3 days, a 3-day supply of nonperishable food, a battery powered radio and spare batteries, flashlights, a first aid kit and cellphone chargers.

If you are required to evacuate, having a plan is extremely helpful. Before deployment, make sure your spouse provides an emergency contact list for you. This should have contact information for his or her command as well as the key spouse such as the ombudsman. Know who you should contact first in an emergency. Plan where you will go if you need to evacuate and bring your emergency contact list with you.

Fire and Loss of Home

Losing your home to a fire would be devastating.

One thing on my husband’s to-do list before deployment is to change the smoke detector batteries.

Sit down with your family and determine what you will do in case of a fire. Everyone needs to get out of the house and have a designated meeting area. Choose an area far enough away from the house, such as the mailbox or the street light across the street.

After you’ve ensured everyone is safe and have called emergency services, you will want to contact your spouse’s command. They can notify your husband or wife about the situation and provide support.

Call your family and friends to let them know you are OK and find a place for your family to go. You’ll want to contact your insurance company and have your house evaluated quickly so repairs can be made.

The Navy-Marine Corps Relief Society can help with replacing items lost to the fire as well as with grants or interest-free loans for home repairs.

Gas Leak

I had a gas leak while my husband was on deployment. If your house runs on gas make sure you have carbon monoxide detectors.

If you smell gas or your CO detectors go off, get out of the house immediately. Call 911 and the gas company.

Contact the command to let them know so they can alert your spouse as well. If you or your children feel sick at all, go to the emergency room. Gas poisoning symptoms present like the flu. You may need to find a place to stay that night as well.

Serious Illness or Pregnancy Complication

When a serious illness strikes an immediate family member during deployment, the possibility of going home to help is there. Immediate family includes:

  • father
  • mother
  • sibling
  • spouse
  • spouse’s parents
  • children

If you are having a pregnancy complication that puts your life or the child’s life in danger, you can seek help this way as well. First contact the service member’s command to let them know what is going on and ask about having your spouse sent home.

You can also contact the American Red Cross Hero Care Center either by phone at 1-877-272-7337 or online.

Serious Accident and Hospitalization

If you or your family members are in a serious accident make sure you contact the command to let them know. They will get word to the service member and he or she may be able to come home.

It is important to have a plan in place in case something happens to you. Before your spouse left for deployment, they likely made a will.

  • Do you have a living will?
  • Who will take your children immediately if you are seriously injured in an accident?

Make an appointment or stop by the legal assistance office at your military installation. They can provide a will worksheet for you to fill out to begin the process of creating a will. It answers many common questions people have about wills.

Once you have completed it, a lawyer needs to review it and make it legal. If you have children, in the will you can designate who they go to if you are unable to care for them. Before you designate a person or family, make sure you discuss it with them.

Consider who will take your children immediately if you are sent to the hospital unexpectedly. Ask a local friend if they would be willing to look after your children short term.

Death in the Family

If someone in the service member’s immediate family passes away during deployment, his or her command and the Red Cross may be able to get them home. Discuss with your spouse before deployment what your family wants to do in such a situation.

  • Will the service member be able to or want to come home for the funeral?
  • Who will take your children and how will you get to the service?

Disaster can strike at any time, but for some reason it tends to happen when a loved one is on deployment. Having a plan in place for each of these instances can save you time and grief.

Don’t wait until it’s too late.

Talk with your spouse, family and friends and determine which path you will take if an emergency arises while your spouse is on deployment.

Have you faced an emergency during a deployment? What advice would you give military spouses to help them plan for emergencies and natural disasters?

5 ‘In Uniform’ Rules All Military Spouses Should Know

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Abiding by regulations that govern the wear and care of a military uniform are a staple of any military service member’s daily routine. As military spouses, it’s common for us to get pulled into the fray, whether it’s picking up a freshly pressed dress uniform, running a pair of cammies to the tailor for a new name tape or helping to locate a missing cover.

And while we may be able to eyeball placement of ribbons or help research the regulations, it is easy to forget that there are rules our spouses must abide by while in uniform, even if we are with them.

5 'In Uniform' Rules All Military Spouses Should Know

Did you know that service members are forbidden from eating, drinking or smoking while in walking in uniform? Photo Credit: Lauren Nygard Photography

So for those of you who are new to this regulation-driven life or as a reminder to those of us who have been around for a while, here are the 5 key “in uniform” rules to remember:

Right Hand Free

To ensure a salute can be rendered when appropriate, service members generally try to keep their right hand free at all times.

As such, carrying things like umbrellas and bags have special rules. The rules for each service differ slightly, but there are provisions for the use of umbrellas while in dress or mess uniforms. The umbrella must be all black and feature no label or branding.

The same is true for bags and backpacks – all black and feature no significant or distinctive branding and there are varying rules about size and how the bag must be carried.

Military exchanges often carry items that meet regulation requirements for these items.

PDA

As much as seeing our service member in uniform might light a particular romantic fire, public displays of affection while in uniform are not allowed.

There are, of course, exceptions (aren’t there always?) for going-away and homecoming events. Weddings are another exception.

Hand-holding, hugging and kissing are generally not allowed while in uniform.

Does that mean you shouldn’t kiss your spouse goodbye if they are leaving the house and in uniform? No, but don’t let the moment evolve into a make-out session on the front porch.

Remember that while in uniform, service members are expected to maintain military decorum and bearing. It’s one of the hardest rules not to break, but an important one to remember.

While Walking You May Not…

Service members are also forbidden from eating, drinking, smoking, or wearing headphones or ear buds while walking while in uniform. As you might imagine, it would be pretty hard to render a salute and offer a respectful greeting while stuffing your face.

There are also safety considerations behind these regulations. Rules vary slightly by service, but if you want to meet up for lunch, make sure you find a place to sit and eat.

Most military installations have designated smoking areas and service members may be permitted to wear earbuds/headphones while in the PT uniform, but make sure you check your service regulations and any further guidance issued by your installation.

What About the Kids?

Care of children while in uniform enters into a bit of a gray area as far as military regulations are concerned.

For example, there are no regulations for any service that govern whether or not breastfeeding is allowed while in uniform. However, many argue that it is against regulations for blouses to be unbuttoned or undershirts to be untucked, thereby making it impossible to breastfeed without being out of regs.

However, many services and installations offer private rooms that mothers may use for breastfeeding or pumping. When in doubt, check with unit leadership and plan appropriately.

Baby slings or diaper bags are not authorized for use while in uniform and an argument can be made that carrying a child constitutes a PDA. Again, check for specific guidance issued by your particular service and try to err on the side of caution. A baby sling might not be authorized, but a stroller or baby carrier could be used instead.

Can I borrow…?

It’s hard not to want to borrow parts and pieces of the military uniform as a way to feel closer to a spouse or demonstrate your commitment and pride in their service.

However, unauthorized wear of an official uniform is against the rules. This includes patches, unit insignias, ribbons, rank, covers and PT uniforms.

It may even include uniforms that are no longer considered official. And it includes uniforms as Halloween costumes too.

There are plenty of non-uniform options that can still proclaim your pride. I won’t say I’ve never donned one of my husband’s old PT shirts while he’s been away on a deployment, but if you are going to do it, refrain from taking pictures and don’t wear it out of the house.

Did we miss any other “in uniform” rules that military spouses need to know? Let us know in the comments section.

How to Know if Your College Is Military Friendly

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Perhaps the greatest gift we can give ourselves and our children is an advanced education.

My oldest is finishing up her first college semester and it has been an eye-opening experience for both of us. Luckily, her chosen school is extremely military friendly. A tour of the campus included the opportunity to meet with a military veteran turned school administrator and ask the litany of questions we had compiled.

If you are a service member, veteran, military spouse or military family member looking to further your education, make sure you take advantage of the benefits that military affiliation can bring.

If enrolling at a military-friendly college is on your list of things to do, here are 6 things to look for when considering an university:

Is This College a Yellow Ribbon School?

Established by the Post-9/11 Veterans Educational Assistance Act of 2008, the Yellow Ribbon Program can help veterans and children of active duty service members to offset the cost of college tuition. Typically, GI Bill benefits will pay for tuition and fees at public institutions, but are limited to a nationally capped amount for private institutions (currently, just under $22,000 per academic year).

Universities and colleges participating in the Yellow Ribbon Program enter into an agreement with the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) for additional funds. A Yellow Ribbon school will contribute a specified amount of money toward tuition and fees, an amount then matched by the VA.

Not all private universities participate in the program, so if the cost of getting a degree, even with GI Bill benefits, seems out of reach consider looking at a Yellow Ribbon school to help offset the costs.

You can find more information about the Yellow Ribbon program and a list of participating colleges on the VA website.

Does This College Have a Student Veteran Affairs Office or a Veteran Student Organization?

A quick tip-off that a school is military friendly is the availability of staff and personnel dedicated to veteran and military students. It’s always nice to talk to someone who has been there done that.

Student Veteran Affairs staff members can be tremendous sources of information when you are trying to figure out the intricacies of the GI Bill and campus life.

Some colleges even offer veteran-only study halls and sponsor veteran and military-family oriented social events.

Does This College Allow for In-State Tuition Rates for Military Personnel and Families?

Surprisingly, at least for me, not all schools offer in-state tuition rates for military dependents. Most schools will offer in-state tuition for active duty dependents with a copy of the sponsor’s orders.

Thanks to a new law, passed just last year, in-state tuition is now guaranteed for all veterans and their dependents for the 3 years following separation from the military.

However, outside of that time frame, availability for in-state tuition depends on the institution.

Are There Plenty of Options for Housing within GI Bill Housing Allowance?

In addition to paying tuition and fees, the Post-9/11 GI Bill also allows the children of active-duty service members, veterans and military dependents to receive a housing allowance to help offset room and board expenses. Typically, that amount is the E-5 with dependents BAH rate for the ZIP code for your college or university.

Pro-tip: Make sure there are several options for housing within that range of pay. Military-friendly universities will sometimes also reserve a set number of on-campus housing options for military dependents and veterans, but you won’t know unless you ask.

Do They Offer Flexible Schedules?

For active-duty service members or working veterans and dependents, flexible scheduling options are a must. Many universities and colleges offer short-term course study or online class options.

Even some of the largest universities offer online courses, so don’t assume just because it isn’t local, it isn’t military friendly. Some also offer discounts to military service members and their dependents for online programs. Again, ask about a flexible schedule when meeting with university representatives.

Does This College Offer Credit for Military Experience?

For veterans and active duty service members, you can save a ton of time and expenses by using your on-the-job training as substitutes for some degree-required classes.

Many universities and colleges will evaluate your military training records and award you college credit for things you already know. You may earn credit for basic training.

There may be a small fee for transcript evaluation, but many military-friendly colleges will waive that fee for military-affiliated students.

As someone who only recently earned her bachelor’s degree, my hat is off to anyone who is willing to make that commitment.

No matter the university or college you chose, take the time to find out what opportunities and options they have for military students. The resources are out there, so take advantage of them.

Did you attend a military-friendly college? Tell us about your experience in the comments section.

Why I Think Military Wives Are More Likely to Binge Drink

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Almost every military spouse I know indulges in wine, beer or liquor. Sometimes all 3. And we drink on the regular.

So the study from the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) isn’t really a shock. SAMHSA found military wives are more likely to use and abuse alcohol than civilians. We’re only talking about wives because there were not a significant number of males who responded to the study.

The study found that 67.8% of responding military wives, ages 18-49, had used alcohol within a 30-day window. Among same age civilian women, 53.8% reported using alcohol. Military wives also tend to binge drink at higher rates than civilians, 31.5% compared to 22.7%.

The same study found that rates for illegal drug use were about the same for military wives and civilians, 12.8% compared to 12.9%. Military wives are less likely than civilians to use marijuana, 5.1% of military wives versus 8% of civilians.

The rates of drinking and drug use aren’t super surprising.

Our troops can’t use illegal drugs or even medical marijuana without risking their careers. Having a spouse that uses is not going to be looked on favorably. Especially since it’s been drilled into us that “our behavior reflects on our service member.” That’s for better or worse taken very seriously!

Drinking is an outlet for many service members and their spouses. It’s a way that we can unwind and escape reality for a little while. It’s almost taken for granted that booze is going to be consumed at military social gatherings. I don’t mean a six-pack either. We’re talking a keg.

For those who ARE taken back by these statistics, keep some things in mind.

We have been at war since 2001. That’s 15 straight years of combat deployments, extended overseas tours and knocks on the door. Put yourself in our collective shoes and try it on for size. Just for a day or a week.

You’re home, alone or with your children, and your spouse is a world away. You know he’s taking fire and if he’s not then someone else is engaged in battle. There is very little contact and every day brings news that another service member has been KIA. That next knock on the door could be at your house. Or your best friend’s house. Or someone in your neighborhood. It could be anyone and it’s going to be someone.

This is the reality that many military wives have been living for a decade and a half. We’ve been doing this back-to-back-to-back. And moving all over the globe, far from our own families and homes. Can I pour you a drink?

The operational tempo has impacted our mental health.

About 10% more military wives (29.1%) report mental health concerns than civilians (19.7%). No, there is no “official” correlation (yet) from the scientists who study these things. This is what I know.

It’s what I understand after moving 4 times in 8 years.

It’s how I felt during and after his year-long combat deployment.

What I know from having 2 children without my mother to lean on.

It’s what saying goodbye to countless friends does to a person.

It’s the experience of working so hard for a career or an education, just to have it yanked away because your husband got new orders or is deploying again.

Military life is not for the faint of heart and even the strongest of us can bend and break under the constant pressure.

It’s so easy to slip into a pattern of having a glass of wine at night, just to unwind or destress or relax. After a day of barely holding it together, it feels nice to have the world get a little fuzzy and rosé colored.

We are tightly wound.

So when we DO get the chance to let our hair down, it’s going to be epic. That means bar hopping, shots or even just one glass of wine too many. Our spouses are under a lot of pressure too. Plus, many units and bases have a culture of drinking, hard.

There are so many events that make drinking easier or even seemingly “required.” Birthday balls, homecomings, hail and farewell ceremonies, retirements, promotions and even just a neighborhood barbecue are all great excuses to drink. After all, it’s a party, right?

Alcohol is one of the leading ways that people self-medicate to deal with depression, anxiety or countless other mental health conditions.

So, a good time brings an excuse to let loose and to hide the way many military wives truly feel. For many of us, that good time comes with every girls night out, dinner with friends or Tuesday afternoon playdate.

We are young adults.

The SAMHSA study found that there were more military wives in the 18-25 age group than among most married women, ages 18-49. When many of our peers are off at college, we’re holding down on the homefront and managing a household. Having both done full-time college and run a household at a very young age, I can tell you that being an adult is harder than taking most college classes. There is no appealing the grade when you overdraw your checking account and can’t pay the electricity bill.

For many of us in the 18-25 age range, this is our first time away from home and cohabitating with another adult. We are young, immature in every sense of the word and still figuring it out. When you add in the other factors of stress, deployment and moving away from a support system, it’s no wonder that many young military wives drink.

Actually, college students drink heavily, too. And they are in that same 18-25 age bracket. Maybe the drinking isn’t quite so “shocking” when it’s framed that way instead.

Here’s take-away: military spouses drink and have mental health concerns, but we don’t do drugs.

It’s your turn: why do you think military wives are more likely to drink than their civilian counterparts?