Military Life News

Military Life News, Commissary Rewards and Military Discounts

How to Help Your Service Member, Friends Suffering with PTSD

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PTSD or post-traumatic stress disorder is a mental health problem that we as military spouses, family members and veterans face all too often. It could be a loved one, a friend or a colleague that suffers from PTSD.

Many people don’t understand PTSD and they don’t know how to help their service member or friend who is suffering from it. That’s why it’s important to make yourself familiar with this disorder. The more you learn about it, the more you will understand what they are going through and thus the better you’ll be able to help them.

How to Help Your Service Member, Friends Suffering with PTSD

Many service members are afraid of the stigma that comes with PTSD but it can happen to anyone and it is not a sign of weakness.

I know quite a few friends that suffer from PTSD. You probably do too and you might not even know it.

PTSD is a mental health problem that anyone can have following a life-threatening event. This could include experiencing or seeing a traumatic event such as sexual assault, a car accident, a natural disaster or more prominently for military service members, combat.

Some people are very good at hiding how they feel. They don’t want to talk about it. They pull away from friends and family and become isolated. They may not enjoy things that they use to. They may become angry easily or when a trigger occurs that reminds them of the traumatic experience.

As a friend or family member, you can help them understand PTSD and get help for the mental health disorder. Many service members are afraid of the stigma that comes with PTSD but it can happen to anyone and it is not a sign of weakness. The statistics are staggering.

  • 7 to 8 out of every 100 people will develop PTSD in their lifetime
  • 8 million adults suffer from PTSD in a given year
  • Roughly 10 out of 100 women will have PTSD at some point whereas 4 out of every 100 men will experience it

One thing that can make PTSD more likely is stress. Support from friends and family members can reduce the chances of someone developing PTSD.

There are four types of PTSD symptoms that you should be on the lookout for if you think that a loved one might be suffering from PTSD. Many relive the event, in which case you might notice they have nightmares or flashbacks of the event. They may avoid situations that make them recall the experience. They may act amped-up or they might become negative in how they feel toward people or events. If you feel that someone you know is showing these signs, be prepared to help them.

Here are a few ways that you can help them cope with PTSD:

  • Read about PTSD so that you will understand what they are going through.
  • Offer a shoulder to cry on and listen to what they have to say. Do not interrupt them or offer a solution to their problem. Do not blame them or use accusing words. Just listen and if they don’t want to talk, tell them that is ok too.
  • Suggest seeking help from a doctor and offer to go with them. There are two ways to treat PTSD: talking to a counselor or medication.
  • Plan activities to do with friends or family. Incorporate exercise into a daily routine. Having a purpose and close friends and family that support them can be beneficial.

If you suffer from PTSD, know that you do not have to face it alone. There are people that love you and want to help you. If you don’t want to talk to them, there are ways to seek out help.

  • Call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255
  • Contact the Veterans Crisis Line: 1-800-273-8255, press 1 (text 838255) or use the Confidential Veterans Chat to speak with a counselor

What are your suggestions for helping a friend or spouse suffering with PTSD?

Payroll Mistake Leads to Military Spouse Teachers Owing DoDEA Money

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Debt letters are showing up at military spouse teachers’ homes around the world. The Department of Defense Education Activity or DoDEA, has been issuing debt letters for debts accumulated during a military spouse’s time teaching in the DoDEA system.

These debts are often inaccurate or completely unsubstantiated and they can come years after leaving the DoDEA system.

Being a military spouse comes with plenty of challenges. Finding and keeping employment is one of the biggest challenges. Many military spouses are unemployed or underemployed.

Teachers Receive Debt Letters from DoDEA

DoDEA teachers are reminded to routinely check their LES and make sure their pay is correct.

Choosing a portable career is important and teaching professions are one of the top fields military spouses work in. DoDEA schools are rumored to be excellent work environments.

Once you are in the DoDEA system, moving with your spouse and finding a teaching position becomes easier. You don’t have to get a new state license to teach with them each time you PCS. They also offer relocation assistance and competitive salaries.

One surprising thing many military spouses have discovered is that working for the DoDEA can also lead to debt, even before you start working for them.

M.J. Allen found this out the hard way. While waiting for her paperwork to be approved to begin a job, she started receiving debt letters. After going around in circles with them, she learned that she had been put on the school’s payroll even though she had not started teaching and they wanted their nonexistent money back.

Many military spouse teachers report receiving similar debt letters.

It’s become a running joke among DoDEA teachers that you don’t truly work for them until you’ve received debt letters. Why are military spouses not standing up to this?

Some choose to pay the debt off while others tangle with debt collectors. If you are one of the teachers that have received debt letters, know that someone is working on your side to fight this.

The Federal Education Association (FEA) is working on military spouse teachers’ behalf to crack down on these erroneous claims. They recommend all DoDEA teachers routinely check their LES, making sure their pay is correct. Keeping up with your pay and any deductions is important. These debt letters can come years down the road, even after you’ve left the DoDEA system.

There are a few things to pay particular attention to on your LES (Leave and Earnings Statement) because even though it is illegal, the DFAS routinely deducts money from DoDEA employees. They have been known to deduct funds even if the debt has already been paid back.

You can invoke your rights under the Debt Collection Act, Back Pay Act, and Negotiated Agreement but that still might not stop them from taking back your money or sending debt letters.

Be vigilant and check your LES for these things:

  • a negative amount in the “retroactive earnings” section
  • a notice on your LES of “debt deduction”
  • a note of “indebtedness” in the “Remarks” section

If you do find these things or receive debt letters, don’t pay them right away. The burden of proof of debt is on the government. You can seek help from the FEA.

Don’t be a military spouse that simply pays the debt off. Debt letters might just find their way to your mailbox again.

Many military spouses are outraged by this breakdown in DoDEA. Working for them can be mentally rewarding, but receiving debt letters can be tolling.

Don’t let your desire to teach turn into a debt headache that can last for years. Be vigilant in watching your pay and stand up for your rights if you do receive debt letters.

Do you work as a teacher? Have you received one of these debt letters from DoDEA?

Don’t Miss Your Commissary’s Sidewalk Sale

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by Amanda Marksmeier, Guest Contributor

I have a confession to make. I am slightly obsessed with TLC’s “Extreme Couponing” and thanks to TV streaming services I can binge watch as many coupon clipping episodes as my heart desires. For those not familiar with the show, it follows couponers through the process of clipping, creating lists, searching deals, down the grocery aisles culminating in the final check out where viewers share in the nail-biting excitement to see just how much money was saved.

I know reality TV is far from real. I know most of these extreme savings are almost impossible to achieve for the average shoppers. I have tried my hand at couponing, price matching and searching for the best deal but let’s face it, it requires a lot of time, math and patience to master the art of extreme couponing. Between working, carpooling, cleaning, care for the kids and my other half I don’t have the time to invest.

For those of us too busy for extreme couponing fear not, we can still save big at the upcoming commissary sidewalk sale!

“Thank You For Your Service”

The Defense Commissary Agency, which operates more than 250 commissaries worldwide, is saying “Thank You For Your Service” to their patrons by hosting commissary sidewalk sales throughout the months of April and May.

These sales coincide with April’s Month of the Military Child and May’s Military Appreciation Month.

Weather permitting all commissaries, stateside and abroad, will host a two- or three-day sidewalk sale event beginning April 16 and running through May 31. Visit your commissary’s website to see the exact dates of the sale in your area.

What’s on Sale?

My favorite part of “Extreme Couponing” is the stockpiles. If you are a fan of the show you know what I’m talking about. Garage shelves lined with hundreds of bottles of detergent, boxes of dried pasta and tubes of toothpaste. I can remember one episode where a teenage boy had a stockpile of feminine hygiene products. Why, you ask. Because he got them all free!

While I don’t condone hoarding products you don’t need, creating a stockpile of products your family uses not only saves on trips to the store but also can save tons of cash!

The sidewalk sale will be slashing prices on food sold by the case. Think canned food items. These are great to stock up on while on sale. Imagine purchasing a couple of cases of peas, carrots, and corn. You’ll have veggies for months. In addition to case sales, you can also take advantage of mix and match sales on products such as barbecue sauce, cold cereals, dry pasta, yogurt and more.

Mix and match sale items include a variety of products like fruit snacks, crackers, pastries, popcorn and potato chips, perfect for school lunches.

Summer is coming which means the kids will be home all day. Start preparing now by loading up on juices, teas, and snacks, with these low prices you can get your little one’s favorite summer treats!

Stay hydrated with sales on water, juices, sodas, sports drinks, milk and more. My family buys milk two gallons at a time so I will be taking advantage of the deals on milk. Fill your freezer with frozen family meals for those busy weeknights or during the deployment slump when you don’t feel like cooking.

Some of my favorite get-togethers are themed dinners. Who doesn’t love an Italian night or Taco Tuesday? International foods such as Italian, Asian and Hispanic items can be purchased at discounted prices during the commissary sidewalk sale.

Storage, freezer, sandwich and snack bags will be on sale as well as paper products and cleaning supplies. Now is your chance to load up on laundry detergent – it will come in handy when your service member returns home from the field or deployment!

If all the food and paper products aren’t enough savings, health and beauty items will be included in the commissary sidewalk sale as well. Oh, and did I mention diapers and wipes? Diapers, second to formula, is the largest expense families incur with babies. On average it costs a family over $500 a year to diaper a baby. Cut some of that cost by stocking up on diapers during the commissary sidewalk sale.

Need more savings? Some commissaries will be partnering with nearby exchanges for additional promotions and sales.

According to the USDA, a family of four spends on average $200 a week on groceries. The sidewalk sale is a way for military families to reduce their weekly spending by creating a stockpile of non-perishable and bulk items.

So what items will you be picking up at your commissary’s sidewalk sale?

Amanda Marksmeier is an Army wife and mother of four. She works as an employment specialist assisting the military community in achieving their career goals. Amanda is also a contributing writer for a quarterly employment journal and has written for several military affiliated blogs.

What You’re Missing When You Don’t Use Your Commissary Rewards Card

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Do you have a commissary rewards card?

I do and I completely forgot to use mine this week when I went grocery shopping at my commissary.

At the checkout, the cashier asked if I had a commissary rewards card. When I told her I forgot about it she said that’s unfortunate because some of the things I bought had coupons on it. Well at that point I really felt like I had missed out.

I went home and put my groceries away. Then I logged onto the commissary rewards card site to see which coupons I missed. Sure enough, Charmin, Bounty, Swiffer and Tide were all on it and worst of all, I missed out on a $4 off coupon for Zyrtec.

I don’t want that to happen again so I downloaded the commissary rewards card app right away. If I had that app on my phone already, I could have clicked those coupons right there in my commissary and saved money instantly. That’s money I could have spent on coffee on the way home. Lesson learned.

I use to be really good about clipping coupons. I would make my grocery list for the week and see what coupons matched up with what was on the grocery list. I also use to Google coupons for bigger items and print them to take with  me.

That was before I had kids and had the time to do it.

One day I discovered the commissary rewards card and that card made saving money quicker and easier. With the commissary rewards card you don’t have to clip coupons or print them. You simply tap the coupons you want and they are added to your card. At the checkout you just hand your commissary rewards card over to the cashier and they swipe it. Easy savings.

The commissary rewards card app makes it even more convenient. When I use the commissary rewards card, I always log on with my laptop. Now that I have the app, I can do it anytime and anywhere as my phone is pretty much always with me.

I don’t purchase the newspaper to clip coupons anymore, but I do see coupons pop up when I’m on my laptop from time to time. I also get them in my email occasionally. It’s great that I can still use those along with the commissary rewards card. You can’t use double manufacturer’s coupons at the commissary, but you can save money by using other coupons you find with the coupons you get through the commissary rewards card.

If you don’t have a commissary rewards card, it’s simple to get one. Just ask the cashier at the checkout and he or she will give you one for free. It’s easy to register it and get started using it right away as well.

Pro-tip: Walk up to a cashier at the beginning of your shopping trip to get one. You can register it while you shop and quickly look through the coupons to see what matches up with the items on your grocery list.

You don’t have to go through every item if you don’t want to. You can search by category or by specific product. If you go ahead and do this, you can save money right away.

Do you have a commissary rewards card? Are you saving money each shopping trip or are you missing out? There are great savings opportunities with the commissary rewards card and it is quick and easy to use it.

If you don’t have one, I recommend that you pick one up on your next stop to the commissary.

Want more information about the commissary rewards card? Read this article by clicking here.

What Happens When My Wife Goes TDY

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by Eric Gardner, guest contributor

As families sit around the dinner table it’s a wonderful time to catch up on the day’s events or reminisce about the past.

One of the favorite topics at my house is all the “fun” things my daughters and I do when my wife is away on TDY orders, deployments or training.

While I’m never completely sold out by my girls; it’s really only because some of those unique nuances of anarchy when Mom’s gone are a normal way of life for us.

We’re always swimming in the deep end of life watching for that next crazy wave to head our way.

In the unpredictable world of the military lifestyle our families are kept constantly on their toes. Our modern nomadic spirit keeps us in some phase of pre/post deployment bedlam, or we find our days intermingled with various stages of the training cycle.

To say our family dynamic is kept in a volatile state of constant flux wouldn’t do it justice.

When compared to the length of a career, these short sprints of time help to sort out the new roles everyone will have to take on. Everyone rows in our family. If we all work together it will make the challenges pass that much faster.

However, each of us understands that it’s a real adjustment for the entire family whenever they are missing one of their members. Doubly so when a service member is away.

What Happens When My Wife Goes TDY

The fun activities act as a distraction to the one resounding fact; Mom isn’t with us.

As a stay-at-home dad I get my fair share of jokes leveled in my direction. They are usually tied to Stan Dragoti’s classic film “Mr. Mom.” To be honest I don’t mind the comparison to Michael Keaton’s character because there are so many moments I can relate to.

Perhaps not so blatant a comparison as vanquishing the family vacuum; I’m pretty proficient.

Or sword fighting the popcorn maker; well maybe that one.

However, when those TDY trips would come up we enjoyed the neighborhood poker games and the lumberjack persona was a very in style look.

It’s not that the life of the military spouse is all fun and games. The adaptations we make to support our service members are more in keeping with trying to ensure the train is still moving forward even if that means only one wheel is on the ground at any given time.

Oftentimes pizza or fast food become the “splurge” to help ease the stress of separation. When my girls were younger the island of dishes in the sink would typically consist of every plate, glass and utensil we owned before I would devote energy to get the kitchen back to normal. Bedtimes would get extended, storytime would last forever, and our supply of ice cream would vanish soon after it was brought home from the commissary. An outing to Chuck E. Cheese and later Dave and Busters were entertaining and helped pass the time.

But all these “fun” things only acted as a distraction to the one resounding fact; Mom couldn’t be there.

Schedules, routines, patterns are things that help us survive the mayhem that is the military lifestyle. But like Jack in Mr. Mom, we will always be bombarded with new challenges, yet I really strive to emulate his attitude of perseverance to the daily insanity that was all around him.

Whether it’s the unique approach to stitching up torn clothing with a stapler, wearing a plaid shirt with striped pants — a favorite of my youngest when Mom’s gone — or rocking out to Taylor Swift with the volume so loud the neighbors 5 houses away can hear it.

All of these crazy moments are for one reason – to try to fill the void, we feel when our service member isn’t home with us.

As you can imagine when we’re all back at the dinner table once more, our “fun” may look a little different but we enjoy it so much more because we’re finally all together again.

Eric Gardner was raised in a military family and lived around the world. Following in his father’s footsteps, he joined the U.S. Army as an Infantry Officer. Since the end of his wartime service he has shifted gears and is now a stay-at-home father. In his role as an active duty Army spouse, he has become an author. As the creator of the XIII Legion Series he has enjoyed great success, and enjoys meeting other entrepreneurial spouses as well as fellow authors. You can see more from Eric Gardner at his Facebook page: www.facebook.com/thirteenthlegion.series, and http://www.facebook.com/XIIILGN or follow him via Twitter @13thLegion.

Turn Your Passion for a Healthy Lifestyle into a Portable Career

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This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of the California University of Pennsylvania. All opinions are 100% mine.

Military spouses desire portable careers with flexible work schedules. These men and women, many of whom are veterans themselves, understand that the careers they picked when they were 22 years old may not be compatible with the military lifestyle.

But just because their first choice for a career isn’t going to work doesn’t mean they want to give up on having a career completely.

Many military spouses have a passion for healthy living. They exercise 5 days a week at their on-post fitness center. They search the commissary for affordable healthy meal options for their families.

Let’s be frank: military spouses and veterans tend be gym rats.

Why not take your passion for eating healthy and exercising and turn it into a portable career?

Military spouses and service members can earn a bachelor’s degree in health and wellness or a master’s degree in exercise science through a 100% online program at the military-friendly California University of Pennsylvania. This affordable option, thanks to the university’s military tuition program, offers a pathway to new professional opportunities for military spouses.

The master’s degree program includes professional certification and can be completed in 12 to 18 months.

The California University of Pennsylvania Office of Military and Veterans Affairs offers comprehensive support for veterans, eligible dependents, service members of the National Guard and Reserve, and active duty service members.

Here are 3 reasons why military spouses and service members should consider earning an exercise science degree with the California University of Pennsylvania.

You can earn your bachelor’s degree from your house anywhere around the world. Cal U offers virtual classes that are 100% online. Online classes are a great option for military spouses and veterans.

With online classes you can complete your coursework uninterrupted while moving from one military base to another. You don’t have to worry about enrolling in a new university and hoping your credits transfer.

As long as you have a high-speed Internet connection and a modern computer, you have the flexibility to take online class anytime and anywhere. You can schedule your college classes around the demands of your daily life.

Online classes are a benefit for service members who want to earn a college degree while they are still on active duty. I know several sailors who earned a wellness and fitness degree and work as personal trainers on their nights and weekends. With this degree, they earn extra income doing a job they love during their free time.

Also, a degree in exercise science may be the first step in owning your own fitness center when you transition out of military service.

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the median annual salary for athletic trainers was $41,600 in 2010, and demand in the field is expected to grow by 30% through 2020.

Earning a bachelor’s or master’s degree from Cal U is an affordable option for service members and their spouses. The Cal U Global Online programs provide discounted tuition costs for active duty members and veterans of all military branches, as well as their spouses and eligible dependents.

Their Military Tuition Discount Program is a reason to consider enrolling at Cal U.

The average student in the Class of 2016 has $37,172 in student loan debt. My husband and I carried a lot of student loan debt into our marriage. It wasn’t easy, but we finally paid off our student loans after 5 years.

Nobody wants to have student loan debt. While Cal U’s military tuition discount program doesn’t mean that you will attend college for free, it does mean that you don’t have to graduate with the burden of hefty student loan debt. By enrolling as online student, you won’t pay fees for on-campus services you don’t use.

The staff at Cal U are also ready and willing to help veterans understand how to maximize their military education benefits including the GI Bill.

Did you take a semester of college prior to enlisting? No problem. The Cal U staff will help you transfer those credits to your new program.

Pro-tip: Cal U is a MyCAA eligible university. Military spouses should check to see if they qualify for MyCAA when enrolling at Cal U.

Cal U is the leader in the study of exercise science. Cal U was the first college to launch a 100% online master’s degree program in exercise science. This curriculum was designed for online students to help them achieve their education goals. This online program allows students to interact fully with professors and classmates and form a network of professional peers.

The university partners with the National Academy of Sports Medicine (NASM) for the latest industry-focused program in fitness, health and exercise science. Plus, its students earn industry recognized certification through NASM through the program.

Join forces with Cal U and earn your degree in wellness, fitness or exercise science today. Click here to learn more about the California University of Pennsylvania.

17 Greenhouses and Garden Centers That Offer Military Discounts

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The first day of spring is March 20, and that means it’s time to get your gardening on!

There is nothing quite like the feel of warm soil on your hands. Add some quality seeds, some sun, a little water, and in just a few short months you have the freshest produce or most beautiful flowers you can imagine. And nothing quite beats the feeling you get when you can go out into your own backyard and fill a vase or basket with something you’ve grown.

Even if you have a small space, as long as you have a sunny spot, you can grow something. You can even grow fruit trees! Last year, we made the big investment and built a large raised bed garden. We planted all kinds of things: tomatoes, peppers, three different types of squash. Then there was eggplant, strawberries, broccoli, Brussel sprouts, cabbage, lettuce, carrots and tomatillos. We had cucumbers for days and we don’t have time for me to list all of the herbs, just know that there were 6 types of basil.

To say that we may have gone overboard in our first year is probably an understatement. But it’s almost time to start planting again, and while we have pared down our harvest list, what hasn’t changed is our love of a good bargain.

Seeds aren’t expensive, per say, but when you add in all of the other things you need like potting soil, plant food, insecticide, watering cans, soaker hoses and plant supports, it can really start to add up. Knowing where you can snag a military discount is a gardener’s secret weapon.

Home Depot & Lowe’s

Both of these home and garden stores offer a 10% discount to all active duty military and veterans. You need to register in order to receive the discount, but it’s easy, and it’s a solid 10% off on everything you buy. And depending on the sale, it is often on top of sale prices.

I love Home Depot and Lowe’s for things like soil (watch for the sales!), seed starters, and materials for building trellises or vining frames. We even bought the cinder blocks we used to build our raised beds there, at a discount of course! They also offer a variety of easy to grow plants already started for you. Their selection of plants is a little limited, but you can start a pretty decent garden from what they have to offer.

Meadow Farms

Do you live in Maryland, Virginia or West Virginia? Meadow Farms has an amazing array of plants, including fruit trees, vegetables and herbs. If you’re not up for sprouting from seed, they are a great place to “stock” your garden and Meadow Farms offers a military discount.

I scoured the net to find other garden centers that offer discounts. Here’s what I found:

Live in New York?

Check out the daily discount offered by Hewitts.

Stationed in Ohio?

Get 10% off every Wednesday at Pettiti.

Snag 10% off waterscape plants and materials from Hoffmans.

Boyerts offers 10% off any one item every Wednesday.

Have PCS orders to southern California?

Get 10% off every Wednesday at Armstrong Garden Centers.

Live in the middle of the United States?

Orshlen offers 5% off every Tuesday.

Stationed in northern Maryland?

Homestead Gardens offers 10% off every Thursday.

Live in Oregon?

Wilco Farm Stores offers 10% off every day.

For military families stationed in Alabama, Mississippi, Georgia, South Carolina and Tennessee:

You can save 10% at Marvin’s every day.

At participating Southern States Cooperative locations, you can get a 10% discount every Tuesday.

Need grow lights?

Want to do a little hydroponic gardening? HTGSupply offers a 10% military discount for veterans. You need to register for a veteran account with HTGSupply to receive the discount.

Live in Arizona?

Summer Winds Nursery offers a 10% discount on any one item every day.

Do you have a large yard?

John Deere offers a military discount for all current and former service members.

Live in Washington?

Jason’s Greenhouse offers a 10% discount.

Logee’s offers a 10% military discount.

Are you thinking about planting a garden this spring? Check out this article, “How to Plant a Victorious Deployment Garden.”

7 Military-Themed Easter Baskets for Your Military Family

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Easter is less than a month away, which means it’s time to start thinking about the type of Easter baskets you’ll be making for your family members this year.

I love that this year Easter is on April 1, April Fools’ Day, so you can really have a lot of fun with your Easter baskets.

If you’d like to have military-themed Easter basket, here are 7 creative ideas to inspire you.

Oh the Places Your Military Family Will Go

Dr. Seuss’s birthday was on March 2 and I enjoyed all the fun activities that went with it during National Reading Week. When thinking about fun military-themed Easter baskets, my mind wandered back to Dr. Seuss and one book in particular, “Oh the Places You’ll Go!” Military families are always off to great places. This would be such a great theme for your Easter baskets.

You don’t have to use Dr. Seuss of course, but the idea of making a basket with places your family has been or where you are going next would be fun.

If your family recently moved or will be PCSing this summer, an “Oh The Places You’ll Go” Easter basket would be a great way to mark that occasion.

Army Camouflage

At some point most kids want to play soldier, and if their parent is in the Army it’s even more likely.

Both of my parents were in the Army. I remember my brother dressing up as a soldier and playing with little green plastic army men. That seems to be a timeless kid thing to do.

The Dollar Tree has made it easy to fill Easter baskets with an Army theme without spending much money. They have the little plastic army men, soldier hats, coloring books, camouflage tape and more.

If you don’t want to curate one yourself, Walmart and Amazon both have Army-themed Easter baskets you can purchase.

Anchors Away

I love anchors on almost anything. Anchor-themed Easter baskets would be cute for a baby, fun for a teenager or even great for an adult. You’ll find anchors on anything from clothes, jewelry and craft items to games and more.

You can buy anchor-shaped candy or buy an anchor chocolate mold and make your own chocolates.

Take Flight

A plane-themed Easter basket would be a great way to tell your family that they are going to see a military air show this year.

The Thunderbirds, the Air Force Demonstration Squadron, and the Navy’s Blue Angels put on wonderful shows. Check their performance schedule to see if an air show is coming to your military base.

If you are an Air Force family or your children love planes, aircraft-themed Easter baskets would be fun.

Made in America

There are so many things made in America now and military families take great pride in purchasing locally-made or veteran-made items. Made in America-themed Easter baskets would not only be fun, but would also support small businesses.

Hero

Who needs a super hero when you have mom and dad? My son didn’t know what a super hero was when he was 2 or 3 and someone asked. He simply said my daddy. Heroes come in all forms. I liked my son’s answer and I love a book we have, “Daddy is My Hero.”

It may be daddy who is the hero in your family or it may be mommy, but it’s probably both.

Hero Easter baskets could include a book about heroes, a Daddy Doll, photos of family members and more.

Easter Package for the Deployed

Making Easter baskets for deployed service members can be a lot of fun. You can decorate the inside of the box and include family-inspired items such as pictures, keepsakes, letters from family members, items for places you’ve been or that you want to go to when he or she returns.

There are so many possibilities for military-themed Easter baskets. Have you made one before or are you planning on making one this year?

For more Easter basket ideas, read “8 Alternatives to Putting Candy in Your Kid’s Easter Basket.”

Understanding the Dress Code at Your Military Installation

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As I moved to close the car door, I happened to look down. Uh-oh. I was wearing athleisure leggings. I did a quick mental calculation.

Color of the leggings + intended use (regular wear vs. athletic pursuit) + other clothing

This could determine whether I am asked to leave the exchange or whether they let me slide, for today. Luckily, I was wearing a normal shirt, the leggings were black and I had on flats. If I had been wearing a race finisher shirt, the story could be totally different!

Every military base has very clear guidelines about what you can and cannot wear in each building or location. Understanding the expectations at your base could make your time there much easier.

Understanding the Dress Code at Your Military Installation

Athleisure wear is becoming the norm for many, but it is still considered unacceptable attire for many on-base buildings and businesses.

Understanding the Dress Code at Your Military Installation

Where to Find the Dress Code

Every military building has the dress code prominently displayed, usually near the front door. Typically, the dress code is a poster-sized color graphic the includes demonstrations of correct and incorrect attire. Following a dress code, for service members, civilians and dependents, shows a level of respect for the installation. It also promotes good order and discipline.

Each branch of service has slightly different expectations and dress codes.

Things that might pass muster on an Air Force base will not fly at a Marine Corps installation.

Clothing guidelines are often building or activity specific. The outfit that you wore to the gym is likely not going to be acceptable at the commissary, PX, post office, hospital, library, consolidated club or anywhere else on base. Generally, gym clothes or workout gear is limited to the fitness center. While there is more latitude at the gym in terms of attire, most dress codes require that outfits remain modest without revealing undergarments.

Base to Base Differences

Just like each service might have slightly different dress code expectations, each individual duty station interprets the rules too. While the general dress code is the same service-wide, some bases are more strict and others more relaxed.

Military bases that are on the West Coast and in Hawaii are notoriously more relaxed. Flip flops and athleisure wear are more standard there and seem to be allowed without comment at installation buildings. Some overseas locations, like Okinawa, also seem to follow a more relaxed dress code.

However, the closer you get to the service headquarters and to Washington, D.C., the more strictly the dress code is enforced. Things that were allowed in southern California might not be considered acceptable in northern Virginia.

As you are PCSing, connect with a local spouses’ Facebook group and ask about dress code enforcement. You’ll want to know in advance whether your leather flip flops could cause a scene.

General Guidelines

Across all services and installations, there are some general rules to follow.

Ripped, torn or otherwise overly distressed clothing is not considered acceptable. Those distressed jeans might be OK, but clothing that has clearly been through the wringer should be left at home.

Hats and ball caps need to be removed inside all buildings. This includes other hat-like head coverings too. The exception would be items worn for religious reasons. However, this rule seems to be relaxing at many locations.

Revealing items, for men and women, are a faux pas at military installations. For women, this includes clothing that shows too much cleavage, skinny tank top straps, midriff-baring tops and short skirts or shorts. Men should avoid overly baggy pants that reveal underwear and must wear a shirt. Most military installations also have language in the dress code, for men, about properly fitting shirts.

Bathing suits and swimwear should be covered when not at the actual beach or pool. This includes using the beach-side stores and restaurants. Remember to bring a cover-up or a change of clothing with you.

Athleisure wear is becoming the norm for many, but it is still considered unacceptable attire on military installations. There may be wiggle room depending on your location or the specific outfit.

Flip flops and sandals could violate the dress code, based on the specific installation’s interpretation of the rules. Generally, shoes with a back strap or closed toe are considered appropriate.

If You’re Asked to Leave

First, don’t make a scene. This will only draw more attention to you and could escalate the situation. Instead, calmly ask to speak privately with the store manager or another person in authority.

Next, when you are in a quiet spot, ask for a brief explanation of why you are being asked to leave. If their explanation makes sense, based on the dress code, it is better to comply. You could let the store manager know that you are new to the base or the military in general. Including an apology along with your explanation could help soften things. They might be willing to let it slide today, with a reminder for future visits.

On your next visit, remember to follow the rules more carefully.

Read “Decoding the Commissary Dress Code” to understand the dress code at your commissary.

What I Wish I Could Change About Military Life

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Mostly, I love the military life I live. Exciting duty stations are possible every 3 years. The military community is strong and supportive. Plus, this life has given me the change to pursue a passion for writing and education advocacy.

Need I even mention the chance to play Cinderella at least once a year? Those dress blues still make my heart flutter after almost a decade.

Still, though, there are things I wish I could change. I believe that these changes would, largely, benefit the entire military community.

What I Wish I Could Change About Military Life

What do you wish you could change about your military life?

What I Wish I Could Change About Military Life

Tour Time

In some places, it just seems too short. In others, too long. I understand that there will never be a happy medium that fits every location or situation, but something needs to give. Generally, I think that longer tours at most CONUS posts would benefit the troops and their dependents.

When military families are required to move, on average, every 2.5 years, it creates ripple effects for the whole family. Personally, I’ve changed my career in major ways due to our PCS tempo.

By the time I arrive at a duty station, get licensed to teach and find a position, it’s practically time to move again!

I have not ever taught anywhere for longer than 2 consecutive school years. Even the one time I made that happen, it was broken up due to pregnancy and maternity leave.

For children, moving so often can cause stress and distress at school. Military children are perpetually the “new kid” at school. By the time they make friends and settle into a routine, it’s time to pack their things and hit the road. Every 3 years or so, everything starts from scratch at the new school. Education plans, athletic pursuits and extracurricular activities are interrupted, changed or dropped due to frequent moves.

For troops, becoming an expert in one job in one location doesn’t seem like a bad thing either. Especially for positions that interact with the public or those carrying out sensitive operations, tenure might be a great thing. I understand the military wants troops to experience their career field from different angles and deploy with different units. However, it seems like service members are PCSed just as they are gaining total expertise in a field or becoming the go-to person in a shop. Just when you need the expert the most, you swap that person out for someone just learning the ropes. This isn’t helpful to anyone!

It seems to me that extending tour times would benefit troops and their families with additional stability at work and home. Military spouses could build solid careers or employment history. Children could at least attend one school level in just a single place. Troops could become develop their expertise and level up their position.

Hurry Up and Wait

I understand the need for secrecy and security. After all, this is our nation’s defense system we are talking about. But some things are just plain silly.

For example, board results and orders.

Troops submit their packages, which are reviewed and recommended (or not) to whatever board(s) that individual is eligible for. That board meets, discusses the service members presented to them, and makes decisions: promote or not; career field school or not; PCS or PCA or not.

And then everyone waits for weeks or months on end.

Why?

I can understand the issues perhaps a decade or more ago. Communicating all of these selections and coordinating placements took time. Today we probably have an app for that or at least a very large spreadsheet. There surely must be a more timely and efficient way to coordinate board result announcements.

The wait is stressful. It’s filled with anxiety about “what if’s.” Or a service member is fully confident in positive news, only to have a devastating blow delivered.

Then there are the PCS orders. I get that the needs of the military come first. But could they arrive in a more timely fashion? There are only so many individuals in a service in each career field, and there are only so many open positions available. Why is there such a song and dance routine about where people will go to next?

Am I the Only One?

Which brings me to my last beef: OCONUS PCSing in general.

I need this question answered: Am I the very first person to move OCONUS with a small child and a dog?

No really. I’m not joking.

Based on how my last PCS was handled, it would appear that my family was the very first ever to attempt such a move. Nothing happened in a timely fashion, every little thing was an issue and there was so much miscommunication that I still can’t tell what was actually true.

Additionally, from the chatter on military spouse Facebook pages, it seems as if we are not, in fact, the first to attempt this move. However, it would seem that the folks in charge of PCSing forget how to do these things or communicate the SOP to troops or dependents.

Everyone is confused, upset and anxious because no one knows what is going on. Ever. We can’t get straight answers or seek advice from others because every single service and duty station operates differently.

Get. It. Together.

Create one streamlined way for everyone to move to a given destination, especially for OCONUS PCS moves. Make a fun and informative manual and distribute it widely. Then be done.

Maybe if the folks in charge of facilitating the moving process weren’t moving every few years, everything would run smoother.

Now it’s your turn: what do you wish you could change about your military life?