Military Life News

Military Life News, Commissary Rewards and Military Discounts

Readers Split Over Veteran Shopping Privileges

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Just this past weekend as we were browsing the aisles at the commissary an announcement was made over the store intercom alerting shoppers to the fact that military Exchanges’ online shopping will soon be available to all veterans. It’s a newly added benefit that has seen a tremendously positive response.

But what about commissary privileges?

A MilitaryShoppers article looked at who is authorized to shop at the commissary and opened up discussion about whether commissary privileges should be extended to all veterans.

Cathy B suggested that commissary privileges “should be granted to all those veterans rated under 100% on a limited basis of 12 shopping trips a year plus a bonus trip during November in honor of Veterans Day.”

Carl felt differently. “Someone who did 4yrs should not get the same privileges as someone who did 20 or 30 yrs,” he wrote.

Reading through the comments, it’s easy to see that this is a hot topic for our readers and rightfully so. Shopping at the commissary does offer considerable savings on most products. Let’s address a few of the most common points of contention and some misconceptions.

Disabled Veteran Benefits

While it’s true that veterans with a 100% disability rating from the VA can shop at the commissary, veterans who receive at least a 30% disability rating from the military, are considered medically retired and do retain commissary benefits.

The 2 disability ratings are different. One is given by the VA and one by the military service itself. So many disabled veterans, especially those whose employment options are limited due to any service-connected injuries or conditions, are already granted privileges.

All Veterans Should Get to Shop

This is an idea express by many readers, but there are some logistical and economic factors that make a blanket open door policy difficult.

As some of our readers mentioned, how do we grant access to those who do not retain ID card privileges?

While the Exchange opened shopping to all veterans, that benefit was only extended online. And the Exchange is a self-sufficient, profit-positive business model that benefits from an increase in the size of its customer base. The more buyers you have, the greater your power to leverage those buyers when negotiating prices with manufacturers and suppliers.

The commissary is a taxpayer subsidized model. The bigger the customer base, the greater the subsidy required to continue to stock shelves and pay employees.

And where would we draw the line? Technically, if you’ve served a day, you are a veteran.

Does one day of service entitle you to benefits?

What if you’ve never been deployed?

Who would make that determination?

Are There Other Ways to Make it Work?

Some readers suggested that a special ID card could be issued or “benefit cards” like what the National Guard and Reserves use for their “once a month” shopping privileges prior to 9/11. This might be a viable option, but there would be additional costs associated with creating and maintaining the records necessary to make a program like this work.

Another suggestion made was to charge a fee, much like the national warehouse stores. This fee might prove an additional revenue stream to help close commissary budget shortfalls.

But it is important to consider what a huge influx of potential customers would do to the shopping experience. More shoppers creates additional strain on gate security and road resources. Parking, while usually ample, is limited, as are shelf space and checkout lanes.

An influx of customers could potentially see frequent outages of staple products and longer checkout lines. Which in turn, devalues the benefit being offered to those who are currently entitled to receive it.

I wholeheartedly understand why so many want to share the commissary benefit with all veterans. It is a sentiment born out of loyalty and a sense of community.

Should we see a revamped profit-earning business model like the Exchange emerge opening up commissaries to all veterans would make sense.

However, when you consider the financial and logistical impact, it becomes clear that opening the commissary doors to all veterans is just not a feasible option at present.

Want to have commissary specials and military discounts delivered to your inbox? Sign up for MilitaryShoppers newsletter today.

What the New GI Bill Means for Military Families

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Brace yourselves. Changes are coming to the GI Bill as we know it.

President Donald Trump signed the Forever GI Bill into law in August 2017. With this new bill, changes are in the works, including transferring benefits, housing allowances and the deadline to access GI Bill funds.

What the New GI Bill Means for Military Families

Time Limit

Under the Post-9/11 GI Bill, beneficiaries had 15 years to use their earned education benefits. With the new GI Bill, there is no time limit to complete a degree, license or education program.

This is arguably the most important change to the bill since it extends the time that beneficiaries have to complete their education.

It allows for unexpected life events or changes along the way.

This is limited to veterans, troops and designated dependents who became eligible on or after January 1, 2013.

Housing Allowance

Under the current GI Bill, non-active duty students rate the Overseas Housing Allowance (OHA) for an E-5 with dependents based on the location of their school. Additionally, students receive a portion of the total allowance based on how many credits they are taking. In order to qualify, students must be enrolled at greater than half-time.

Starting Jan. 1, 2018, the housing allowance will be calculated using the reduced BAH schedule.

Previously, the GI Bill has been exempted from the yearly 1% BAH reduction started in 2015 and ending in 2020. Students using the GI Bill before January 1, 2018, will continue to receive their current housing allowance rates.

Additionally, the location used to calculate housing allowances will be tied to the location where students physically attend classes. This could impact students who attend a satellite campus in a location with a lower BAH rate. This change goes into effect on Aug. 1, 2018. Students enrolled before this date will follow the current rules.

Housing for members of the reserve will be prorated by quarter, semester or term starting on Aug. 1, 2018.

Expanded Access

Currently, eligibility for GI Bill benefits is calculated based on time in service or discharge due to service-related injury. Under the Forever GI Bill, all Purple Heart recipients will be rated at the 100% funding level or with 100% of their tuition and fees of in-state tuition paid for.

Additionally, certain members of the Reserve will be eligible for benefits under certain conditions. If Reserve troops deployed to support a combatant command or within their state in response to a natural disaster, they may now be able to access GI Bill benefits. This includes Reservists who deployed in these capacities after 2009.

Reservists who used the Reserve Education Assistance Program (REAP) will now be able to access the GI Bill under certain circumstances. Students who qualified before Nov. 25, 2015, but whose benefits have expired may choose to have that time in service credited toward the Post-9/11 GI Bill. This change applies to coursework started after Aug. 1, 2018.

Previously, students could be considered eligible for 40% of total GI Bill benefits (40% of in-state public college tuition and fees paid for) based on time in service. This category has now been eliminated.

Instead, the 60% level has been expanded to include more veterans. The minimum benefits level is now set at 50%, meaning that up to 50% of tuition and fees at an in-state public college would be paid by the VA.

Overall, more veterans and designated beneficiaries will be able to access higher education or career training with increased funding possible.

Transferring Benefits

Veterans can designate a dependent to receive GI Bill benefits. In the past, if that person passed away, the benefits disappeared.

Now, veterans are able to select another eligible dependent should their original designee die. Dependents who have received benefits are also able to pass on the GI Bill to another designee. This is only able to happen after the veteran who earned the benefits has passed away.

This now allows GI Bill benefits to continue on beyond the veteran or original designee in the event of death. This could prevent these valuable benefits from going unused.

Extra Protection

If your college closes before you earn a degree, the GI Bill now offers protections. Time spent at a college that has closed can now be partially or fully reinstated.

Students can also potentially earn GI Bill time back for courses that were not approved or for courses in which no credit was earned.

This is retroactive to programs, courses and colleges that were discontinued after Aug. 1, 2015. The change takes effect 90 days after the bill was signed.

Programs and Licenses

Students may begin using their benefits at accredited area career and technical schools that provide post-secondary education and/or vocational skills. This allows students to pursue a career path outside of traditional college level education.

Veterans at the 100% benefits level, with at least 60 credit hours of work and who will be reaching the end of their benefits before they complete an eligible degree in science, math, engineering, medicine or certain teacher training programs can apply for an extension.

This is a one-time 9-month benefit bonus. It cannot be transferred or be used in conjunction with the Yellow Ribbon Program. There is a $30,000 cap. This change begins on Aug. 1, 2019.

Entitlement charges for professional licensing and certification exams will be prorated based on the actual amount charged for the test.

Additional Benefits

Spouses and dependents who qualify for the Fry Scholarship may now also access the Yellow Ribbon Scholarship as well. This opens up new funding possibilities to supplement the GI Bill at private colleges or out-of-state schools. Purple Heart recipients will also be qualified for Yellow Ribbon Scholarships. These changes take effect on Aug. 1, 2018.

Beginning on Aug. 1, 2022, active duty troops using the GI Bill will be able to access the Yellow Ribbon Program. This will expand their ability to complete coursework at a larger number of institutes of higher learning while still serving their country.

Students who were eligible under the Survivors’ and Dependents’ Educational Assistance program now have 36 months of benefits instead of 45 months. This change applies to students who enroll after Aug. 1, 2018.

This same change increases the amount payable per month to $1,224 for full-time students, $967 for students enrolled at three-quarter time and $710 for half time enrollment. This increase is effective Oct. 1, 2018.

Will these changes to the GI Bill impact your family? Share your thoughts in the comments.

How I Prepare for His Deployment

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My husband and I have had our fair share of deployments, extended TDYs and special duty assignments. And while it has gotten easier to deal with the added stress that comes from having to say goodbye, it is never truly easy.

Preparing is often difficult, because it means you have to come to terms with the fact that your loved one will be headed into harm’s way.

For me, there are 4 broad areas of preparation necessary before any deployment: financial, physical, emotional and mental.

How I Prepare for His Deployment

Financial Preparation

Even if you share bill-paying responsibilities, make a point to sit down and go over your finances. This includes all of your bills, investments, credit cards and bank accounts. Make sure you know how to access the accounts and have contact information for each of them.

Consider getting a limited power of attorney. It can be exceptionally frustrating to be unable to upgrade a cell phone plan or resolve a billing discrepancy because your spouse’s name is the only one on the account. Plus, should you lose your military dependent ID card or need to make any changes to DEERS, a power of attorney means you can take care of it.

How I Prepare for His Deployment

What are your deployment preparation tips? Anything that you must do before your service member ships out?

While you are making preparations, make sure you go over both your and your spouse’s wills. It is touchy subject for some, but it is a necessary evil. If you don’t have a will, check with your local legal office for assistance.

Physical Preparation

In the same way that your spouse must make sure they are physically able to deploy, being left behind to manage everything on the homefront also requires you to be healthy and capable.

Before your service member leaves, schedule your annual doctor and dentist appointments. Make sure your prescriptions are filled and up-to-date.

Make taking care of yourself easier while you are dealing with the stress of a deployment.

Physical preparation also takes your surroundings into account. If your spouse always mows the lawn, for example, consider hiring a lawn service or learn how to use the equipment properly if you don’t know how to do it yourself. Again, the idea is to try to make it as easy as possible for you to juggle everything while your spouse is away.

Deployments are a great time to focus on your physical fitness. Exercise can prove to be a great distraction and physical activity has been proven to help improve mood and combat depression.

Emotional Preparation

It’s important to prepare yourself emotionally for the time apart and the added strain of knowing your spouse is in harm’s way. Any emotional stress you’re feeling is often exacerbated by the fact that you don’t want to burden your spouse during phone calls and Skype sessions.

We can never fully prepare for how we are going to handle things emotionally. All we can do is try to put some plans in place to helps us cope when things get tough.

Try to get a good support system in place with a list of folks and phone numbers you can call if you need help. Sometimes just having a fellow military spouse to talk to can make all the difference in the world.

If you need to go home to family or have someone come and stay with you, then do it. There are no shiny medals given for being an emotional martyr, so don’t feel like you have to go it alone.

Try not to isolate yourself. Deployments rarely happen to just one service member in a unit at a time, so consider joining the FRG or family support group. The military has been on a cycle of deployment for the last two decades and there are many programs and resources out there. Make sure you reach out to the chaplain or family support services before your service member deploys so you know what’s available.

Mental Preparation

Hand in hand with dealing with the emotional impact, your mental health is vital to a successful deployment.

One of the best techniques I have found is to make plans to keep myself busy. Taking a class, learning a new skill, trying a new hobby, or even starting a business have all become a focus for my attention while my spouse was deployed.

Left to wander a lonely and bored mind will never been an ally.

Plan ways to keep yourself distracted during the deployment. It’s a great time to focus on yourself a little more than usual and work on any of those self-improvement/self-growth goals you’ve been thinking about.

How do you prepare for your service member’s deployment?

Do Special Privileges for the Military Magnify the Civilian-Military Divide?

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Do a quick online search for military discount or military offer and thousands and thousands of webpages come up.

And it’s not just restaurants or retails stores, car rentals, apartment rentals, colleges and car dealerships all offer special pricing and discounts for active duty service members, veterans, National Guard and military spouses.

Add in our medical coverage, housing pay, debt relief, and educational and retirement benefits, and it’s not hard to see why some feel that service members and their families receive too many special privileges and considerations.

Do Special Privileges for the Military Magnify the Civilian-Military Divide?

Despite the stereotypes, members of the military community aren’t cheapskates. We’re not sitting at home hoarding all the savings we get from military discounts.

But even though we know more than anyone that these benefits and privileges are earned by our service members, it can be disheartening when we find ourselves in the crosshairs of public opinion.

Often when these arguments are raised, we feel like we are standing on the other side of some kind of cultural divide.

Can the average American truly appreciate our way of life?

Can they understand why these special provisions are available for military families?

At the same time, we must consider our own motivations. Are we asking for too much?

The Difference Between Benefits and Privileges

To those who think we are, as a community, overpaid and over-privileged, a quick review of the difference between benefits and privileges is in order.

The housing, educational, retirement and medical benefits are just that – benefits.

Just like any other job, these benefits are part of the total compensation package offered by an employer to an employee upon the acceptance of a position.

Yes, these benefits are funded by federal taxes, a system our community also pays into, but any American who chooses to apply and accept a position in the military is entitled to receive them.

These things are not privileges, they are earned compensation.

That being said, it is important to understand that there is a limit to these benefits. I’ve heard military spouses complain about the military not paying for an airline ticket home for a funeral or about how school loan debt for dependents should be forgiven.

While arguments could be made for additional benefits in both cases, the truth is, the military isn’t a I-want-it-so-give-it-to-me free for all. We cannot simply expect that our every need and want be subsidized by the American taxpayer.

The U.S. military is not a welfare state. We must be careful about considering ourselves to be a community more deserving than others. We are no more American than our civilian neighbors.

Benefits earned should be benefits received. Everything else is on us to manage.

All Those Military Discounts

While most businesses offering a military discount do so as a way to give back and say thank you, let’s not lose sight of the fact that it is still a marketing technique used to attract customers.

The U.S. military community is fairly unique as far as our spending habits are concerned. Job security offers our community of consumers the ability to spend more than their civilian counterparts in many areas. Offering a discount attracts customers from the million plus strong military community.

It’s no different than offering a discount to those who have student ID or are over 55 years old.

And when you consider that a lot of military folks I know tend to spend more when there is a military discount offered or leave bigger tips, any military discount is funneled right back into the economy.

Despite the stereotypes, members of the military community aren’t cheapskates. We’re not sitting at home hoarding all the savings we get from military discounts.

A Community Apart?

We are a community unlike any other in that we exist because our nation demands a strong and professional military. And while our role as citizens is unique, we must not lose sight of the fact that we are part of much larger whole and should continue to serve our country with grace and humility.

We must not close ranks, but instead remain open and engaged in the conversation about the future of this country, including its military.

After all, while long and distinguished, even a career of service in the military must come to an end. And we will need to cross that cultural divide and rely on the strength and acceptance of our civilian communities to help us make that transition.

Do you think that military discounts add to the cultural divide between the military community and civilians? Share your opinion in the comments section.

Commissaries Stock Shelves with Local Products in Hawaii and Beyond

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For customers of Hawaii’s commissaries, buying local is getting easier and easier. Commissaries around the Hawaiian Islands and beyond are stocking the shelves with local products.

At the annual American Logistics Agency (ALA) Hawaii  Expo, local businesses have the opportunity to showcase their unique products to military buyers. In the two decades of expos, many Hawaiian foods and products have already made their way to military consumers.

Military buyers are looking for unique items at these shows.

“I’m not looking for what I already have,” said Brad McMinn, director of the Schofield Barracks Commissary.

Local Companies, Big Opportunities

Diamond Head Seafoods, owned by Hawaiian local and military veteran Mike Irish, has been working with the Defense Commissary Agency (DeCA) for 20 years. From a small start with just a few products, Irish has progressed to running the seafood counters around Hawaii.

“I thought they didn’t like my products,” he admitted. “But I just kept trying. The second year they took five products, the third year nine or 10. As they got to know who I was and learned that I was committed to the commissaries, they grew more committed to my products and company.”

Currently, military shoppers can also find Irish’s sauces and condiments in commissaries on the mainland.

Thomas Kerwin of Aloha Gourmet also hopes to expand his product line in Hawaiian commissaries. This year, he brought cookies, coconut shreds and dried mangoes dipped in chocolate.

“We come to this show every year to showcase our items and meet with the buyers,” he said in this news article. “We may not get all of the products we show onto shelves, but even if it’s just one or two, that’s enough.”

Other companies are looking to break into the military market.

“We believe, given the opportunity, the military community will support us and this product,” Mike Choy, co-owner of  Ilio Products, commented. “They’re part of the community and they care about Hawaii and environmental issues. A part of our proceeds goes to organizations that support our coastlines.”

Choy brought an all natural, human grade line of venison dog treats, Go Go Pet’s Stressless Venison Premium Treats, to the expo. The dog treats are made from local deer on Maui, Molokai and Lanai. Deer live on these islands without any natural predators, leading to overpopulation. Culling the deer helps keep the populations in check. Turning the meat into dog treats avoids waste.

“Our goal is to get our message out about how different and special (this product) is,” Choy said. “We’ve already thought about maybe having demos at (military exchanges and commissaries) or having an informational video run next to the product display.”

Possibility to Expand Beyond Hawaii

Choy and other vendors have a good chance of having products picked up by commissaries and exchanges on O’ahu. According to a report by Hawaii News Now, over 350 products were selected at the 2016 expo. Of these, 27 products were from companies that have not previously worked with DeCA. Fifteen new companies and 200 new items were added to the combined military exchanges.

Over the last two decades, almost 3,000 local products have made their way to military consumers at the commissaries and exchanges.

The ALA works with DeCA and the exchange systems throughout the military to help place and promote their members’ businesses and products. Given this large network, products have the possibility of expanding to stores worldwide.

“(T)housands of products have been marketed at the Hawaii show. Many of them are sold throughout the commissary network worldwide,” said U.S. Senator Mazie Hirono.

If you are looking for local products at your commissary or exchange, ask an associate. Often they can help direct you to these products. Many commissaries and exchanges also have a section featuring local products. Take the time to browse this section the next time you are at the commissary.

Which local products are featured in your commissary? Share your favorites in the comments section.

When the Promotion Doesn’t Come

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There are to-do lists, grocery lists, PCS packing lists, duty station bucket lists and holiday wish lists.

But there is a single list that can turn an ordinary day into a reason to celebrate or a reason to be discouraged — The promotion list.

The hours spent in preparation for a board, the extra PT to improve to max out points, even the completion of college classes, have all been done in an effort to jump up a rung on the military rank ladder.

And when that day comes there are rounds of congratulations, celebratory dinners and toasts to the newly promotable. Social media posts proclaim the good news, but only for those selected.

What about when the promotion doesn’t come?

Dealing with the disappointment isn’t easy. In fact, with so much vested in advancement, not seeing your service member get the promotion you know they deserve can be downright depressing. But like so many other things in life, the right perspective can help take away the sting.

When the Military Promotion Doesn't Come

Enduring these moments of disappointment can strengthen your marriage.

Go Ahead and Vent

Feelings of disappointment, frustration and anger are normal and natural. Promotions are a big deal and feeling like your service member got passed over is never a pleasant feeling.

Sometimes you just need to let it out. Disappointment internalized can become bitterness and resentment, 2 emotions that are contrary to a military team environment.

It’s OK to express those feelings, just be cognizant of where and to whom you share them with. Avoid long rants on social media or outbursts in front of those who were selected.

If you can, find something constructive to do with all that negative energy. Clean your house, go for a run, bake up a storm, do whatever will help to take your mind off things for a while. Give yourself time to process all of those feelings, but then make sure you focus on something else.

Fixating on disappointment isn’t healthy. If you feel like your service member isn’t handling it well or dwells on those negative feelings for too long, make sure you reach out for help. Chaplains are a good place to start, but all military installations have mental health services readily available for service members and their families.

Be a Support System

Enduring these moments of disappointment can strengthen your relationship.

I can’t tell you how many times my spouse or other service members were sure to get a promotion, only to find their names missing from the list. Military services promote for positions they need to fill and sometimes the needs for one MOS or specialty is higher than another.

Promotions can sometimes feel quite arbitrary, and even deserving service members don’t get selected.

A conciliatory night out or a special dinner to show them how much you appreciate them might be in order. Just try to keep it lighthearted and positive. Remind them of all of the great things they have accomplished thus far.

Congratulate Those Who Made the List

Be graceful and congratulate those who did get selected for promotion. Our community is too small to let promotions affect our friendships and relationships. And next time, it might be you receiving the congratulations while someone else is left with the disappointment.

Remember that lack of promotion is not a demotion.

With so much energy focused on getting promoted, sometimes it’s easy to forget that just because you didn’t get promoted doesn’t mean that his or her military career is over. There are still opportunities for training that could see an increase in pay and potentially make selection for promotion the next time a shoo-in.

Start Preparing for Next Time

While there’s not a ton a military spouse can do to help a service member prepare for next time, try to be considerate and encouraging.

Volunteer to help quiz them for the board.

Be understanding when they stay an extra 30 minutes at the gym or sign up for training that looks good on their official record.

And most importantly, encourage them to keep at it.

How have you handled the disappointment when your spouse was not selected for promotion? Tell us about it in the comments section.

Facing the Fear of Military Life

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I can pinpoint the exact moment that it all hit me. All of the fear and anxiety and uncertainty that is military life hit me like a ton of bricks.

Facing the Fear of Military Life

Sometimes the fear of military life gets to be a little much.

I didn’t know them more than a casual, run-into-them-socially (sometimes) kind of way. But I knew them. We crossed paths. And it happened to them.

The knock on the door.

The condolences from a “grateful nation.”

Suddenly, I was terrified. I could easily – too easily – picture myself in her shoes. It literally brought me to my knees.

I couldn’t seem to shake the sadness for weeks. I couldn’t move past my fears. I knew I had some decisions to make. I needed to choose whether I wanted to continue to live in a place of unending fear or find a different path.

7 Tips for Facing and Fighting the Fear of Military Life

1. Find an Outlet

What do you love to do? What makes you happy? Whatever that thing or activity is, go do it. For me, I run. I started running right around the same time that I became afraid of the “what-ifs” of military life.

On a bad deployment day or when we are waiting on PCS orders to hit, I run. When I run I have control, something that escapes me as a military spouse. When I come back after a few hard miles, it seems a little bit easier to handle the unknowns.

My friends do different things. Some craft, making beautiful decor or vinyl creations. Others lift weights or go to spin class. Still others dive deep into creative entrepreneurship, running amazing businesses in photography, art or writing.

We all have something that makes us happy. Go find yours!

2. Trust Your Spouse

This one is hard, especially when we live in Whatifville. But truly, trusting my spouse has released a lot of tension. I know that he has trained and prepared for months, if not years, for exactly these situations. I know he understands his job and won’t take unnecessary risks.

Keeping all of this in mind when he deploys or trains or goes TAD helps to combat my fears.

3. Understand the Process

When an Osprey went down in August, fear once again gripped my heart. Our friends were connected to that float. We know a good group of Osprey pilots. Again, the uncertainty took over.

But once I really understood the how’s and why’s of notification and media releases, I felt so much better.

Now, I know that the command and public affairs follow strict protocols to ensure utmost respect for affected military families and units. I truly inhabit the phrase: “No news is good news.” I understand that the system needs to work.

4. Disconnect

Sometimes, it all gets to be a little much. Especially for my family, these last few months have been rough. We’ve had connections to several of the devastating accidents the military has experienced this year. We live in the communities impacted.

It all got to me. The constant Facebook news feed posts, the 24-hour news cycle and the never-ending updates that weren’t really updates.

So I stopped.

I stopped reading Facebook obsessively. Instead, I logged on to work on my professional Facebook page and hopped back off. I no longer watch the news or check my news apps. I just can’t anymore.

5. Be Kind to Yourself

When you struggle over something, whether it is not knowing where you are moving next or deep fear about the scarier unknowns, it is OK. It’s OK to be afraid.

Acknowledge your fears. Admit, out loud or in writing, what exactly is bothering you and why. It’s hard to do this, to really unpack a deep fear and work through it.

So be kind.

When you are afraid, seek comfort from a friend, a religious leader or a military family life counselor. Ask for help, because your military community is here for you.

Take some time to pamper yourself. Take a hot bath, get a pedicure, read a book, watch a comforting movie or retreat to your bed. Whatever makes you feel secure and loved, go do it. I enjoy reading a trashy magazine and sipping hot cocoa (or wine), pulling back from the world for a little while. It gives me the head space I need to process my feelings.

6. Help Someone

Our friends and neighbors lost a dear friend in the crash off Australia. There isn’t much to be said that can heal that hurt.

But I can certainly bring them dinner. It’s one less thing to think about while they grieve. I can watch their children so that they can assist with final arrangements. I can offer a hug and a shoulder to cry on. I can empathize because I understand that pit in the stomach feeling.

If you are afraid or live somewhere that is hurting, reach out. Offer to help in any way you can. Redirecting your fears and worries into actions for others can help you to process.

7. Choosing a Different Path

When I was afraid, brought to my knees with fear and grief and worry, I decided to go a different way. I chose to not live in that dark place.

I went for a run to the ocean and cried just a little bit more. Then I invited friends over for dinner because I knew we would be stronger together.

Together, as a community, we can combat the fears and unknowns of military life.

How do you combat the fears of military life? Share your tips and strategies in the comments section.

My Thoughts on the Global War on Terror Memorial

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President Donald Trump recently signed a bill approving the construction of a national memorial, the Global War on Terror Memorial, which will honor those who have fought and died in Iraq and Afghanistan since 2001.

The bill to establish the national memorial was sponsored by Sens. Joni Ernst, R-Iowa, an Army veteran of the Iraq War, and Joe Manchin, D-West Virginia in the Senate.

Reps. Mike Gallagher, R-Wisconsin, and Seth Moulton, D-Massachusetts were the bill’s sponsors on the House side. Both are Marine Corps veterans of the Iraq War.

My Thoughts About the Global War on Terror Memorial

The Global War on Terror Memorial Foundation hopes to unveil its memorial by 2024. 

This bill does not select a location for the Global War on Terror Memorial, but it authorizes its site as somewhere on “federal land in the District of Columbia.” Organizers are hoping for a spot on the National Mall.

The memorial will be 100% privately funded through donations raised by the Global War on Terror Memorial Foundation. The estimated cost of construction is $40 million.

What will the Global War on Terror Memorial look like?

Now that the memorial has been approved by Congress and the president, the memorial’s organizers are working on its design. So far, they have announced that the memorial will include 6 themes: endurance, sacrifice, all-volunteer, global, multicultural and unfinished.

My Thoughts About the 6 Themes for the Global War on Terror Memorial

Endurance. Endurance is National Guard soldiers who served 18 months in Iraq and sometimes stayed longer because their deployment was extended for a second time.

Endurance is Marines who served back-to-back deployments, hopping between Iraq and Afghanistan.

Endurance is military spouses who lose track of how many times their spouse has left and returned home.

Endurance takes strength, determination and a faith in the fight.

Sacrifice. More than 7,000 service members have died in the Global War on Terror and more than 52,000 have been wounded. I don’t know how you show the sacrifice on these Americans in a memorial.

In the military community, we all know at least one name. A name that is forever etched in our hearts and our minds. We remember that name along with a date on the calendar. It’s the day of their death. The day that we solemnly remember their life and their sacrifice.

All-Volunteer. More than 2.5 million Americans are estimated to have been deployed in support of the Global War on Terror. Some of these service members were already in the military in 2001. Many were not.

These service members were children when the 9/11 attacks happened. They saw the news on television when they were 10, 12 or 14 years old. Those images stuck with them so that when they turned 18 years old, these men and women raised their right hands and took an oath to serve and protect our nation.

Global. This war has taken our service members to places that I couldn’t pick out on a map before 2001. We know about Iraq and Afghanistan, but what about Kenya, Djibouti and Kuwait?

Multicultural. The diversity of today’s all-volunteer Armed Forces makes my heart swell with pride. As a military spouse, I’m humbled when I meet service members from different races, cultures and economic backgrounds. They are American Indians from Oklahoma, men from the Philippines and women from Miami.

Unfinished. Organizers said the “unfinished” theme has 2 meanings.

First, it reminds us that this ongoing war is still taking place around the globe. The second reason points to the continued personal conflicts of our veterans when they return home.

I couldn’t have said it better myself. There is no end in sight for this war at home and around the world.

The Global War on Terror Memorial Foundation hopes to unveil its memorial by 2024. You can make a donation by visiting the foundation’s website.

What are your thoughts on the Global War on Terror Memorial?

15 Military Discounts for a Great School Year

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The back-to-school ritual of buying school supplies, backpacks, lunch boxes, sneakers and clothing can take a bite out of your budget. I know I had sticker shock when buying school supplies for my 2 children. The total cost was insane.

And we still needed to buy new tennis shoes for both of them. I pray that they don’t grow out of their shoes before Halloween.

Military Discounts for a Great School Year

We’ve compiled a list of military discounts to help your child have a great school year.

The costs of getting your kids back to school is no joke. Once school starts, the expenses don’t end. There are still the after-school activities and possibly hiring a tutor to help get your student through chemistry or French.

You can reduce these growing expenses by shopping at stores that offer a military discount. We’ve compiled a list of military discounts to help your child have a great school year.

15 Military Discounts for a Great School Year

Dressing for Success

Old Navy. If you are looking to buy school uniforms (or comfortable school clothes) for your military child, be sure to stop by Old Navy and take advantage of their 10% military discount. This offer is valid for active duty, retired, reserve and military spouses. You must present your military ID card at the time of purchase at the store. This discount is not available for online purchases.

Nike. Nike offers a 10% military discount on Nike.com as well as at Nike, Converse and Hurley stores.

Foot Locker. Foot Locker offers a 20% military discount.

Finish Line. Finish Line has a 20% military discount.

Payless. This shoe store offers a 10% military discount.

Stride Rite. If you have preschoolers, don’t forget to ask about Stride Rite’s 10% military discount.

Adidas Shoes. Adidas Shoes offers a 10% military discount.

Under Armour. Under Armour offers a 10% discount to active duty and veterans on their website and in all Under Armour stores. Online purchases are verified through ID.ME.

Abercrombie & Fitch. The military discount at this store may be 10% or 15%, depending on the location.

Aeropostale. This clothing store offers a military discount of either 10% or 20% depending on the location.

American Eagle Outfitters. American Eagle Outfitters has a 10% to 15% military discount that is available, at the manager’s discretion.

Claire’s. They have a 20% military discount on accessories and jewelry.

Kohl’s. Kohl’s offers a 15% military discount at select stores nationwide.

Gap. The Gap offers a 10% discount on the first of every month. It is available in store only.

When Your Child Needs Help on His Homework

Tutor.com. Active duty service members and their dependents (grades K-12) can receive free tutoring and homework help through Tutor.com. Tutor.com says that “Students can get personalized help in 40 Math, Science, Social Studies, English and World Language subjects, including Algebra, Statistics, Biology, Essay Writing, Spanish, German and French.”

Tutors are also available to help students prepare for the SAT and ACT.

Students can connect with tutors online through their smart phones and tablets 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The service is available every day except on January 1, Thanksgiving and December 25.

This free service is funded by the Department of Defense (DoD) MWR Library Program, the DoD Navy General Library Program, the DoD Voluntary Education Program and Coast Guard Mutual Assistance.

Hire a military spouse. Let’s say your wife is the math whiz in your house, but she’s away for training when your teenager is asking you questions about his geometry homework. Consider hiring a military spouse to temporarily or occasionally tutor your child.

Many military spouses have degrees in education and because of various circumstances they aren’t working full-time. They may be interested in spending 5 hours a week teaching your military child. This can be an affordable option for face-to-face tutoring for military families.

Preparing for College Testing

eKnowledge. Is your military child dreading the ACT or SAT test? Consider enrolling her in eKnowledge’s SAT and ACT College Test Preparation Programs. This interactive, multimedia and online course is available to military dependents for free.

When You’re Feeling the Pinch of Private Tuition

Many private schools offer a military discount, but you need to ask for it. Before you pay the enrollment fees, be sure to speak with a school administrator. Parents should be ready to explain their situation (active duty family, one income) and then ask directly if there’s a possibility of a discount.

Did we miss any great military discounts for this list? Please tell us in the comments section.

Tips for Teaching Your Kids While Shopping at the Commissary

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After school, the race is on! Will you be able to get everything in and get your groceries before bedtime?

When you follow a few pro tips at the commissary, you can build a little bit of learning into your shopping trip. Best of all? You can work on skills for all ages and stages!

How to Make Grocery Shopping at Your Commissary a Fun and Educational Experience for Your Child

When Your Child Is a Toddler

Children at this age are learning so much about their world. Everything is new, fun and exciting.

Color hunt: Challenge your child to find certain colors in each aisle, sort of like I Spy. Say: “I’m looking for something yellow.” Then, work together to find it.

The produce aisle is a great place to play this game. Let your child pick their favorite color, then find fruit and veggies to match. Select a few colors to build a produce rainbow that’s 100% good enough to eat.

Old MacDonald: There are many cartoon characters and pictures all over the grocery store. Work together to build a farm or zoo, full of fun animals. Challenge your child to make the sound of each animal you find.

Fruity shapes: In the produce aisle, use the time to teach your child shapes. Look for circles (oranges, tomatoes, blueberries), triangles (carrots), ovals (lemons, avocados, potatoes), squares (boxes of salad greens) and any other shape you can think of.

When Your Child Is in Preschool

At this age, children are learning numbers, patterns, letters and may even be starting to understand early reading skills.

Commissary navigators: Have your child sing out the aisle number and then tell you what is located there. For example: “Aisle 5 has cereal and breakfast things.” Challenge your child to remember what was in other aisles, the order you went in or which aisle you started in. This helps build number sequencing, memory skills and navigational techniques.

Little chef: Let your child pick a dish to make and help her find a recipe at home. Something simple, like salads, sandwiches or tacos, works well.

Together, make a visual list of the items she needs. Then let your child choose the ingredients at the commissary. As she goes through the store, have her write down which aisle she found each item in.

At home, work together to assemble her dish. This builds healthy eating habits, sequencing skills, memory and early reading abilities.

On the prowl: Play the alphabet game! As you walk through the store, ask your child to find things. For older children, you could ask them to actually get items you need off the shelves. All preschoolers can be on the look out for shapes, colors, letters and numbers.

To up the ante, make an erasable checklist with all the letters of the alphabet, the core (rainbow) colors, basic shapes and number 0-9. As your child finds each thing, he can mark it. If he can find everything, reward him with a healthy treat.

When Your Child Is in the Primary Grades (K-2)

Children in these grades are learning sight words and basic addition and subtraction.

Let’s make 10: Adding to 10 is a core skill in the early grades. This game works well with individual produce, like apples, or anything you buy multiples of, like yogurt.

Say:

“Let’s make 10! I put 4 in the cart. How many more do we need to get to 10?”

Then help your child (carefully) add the item to the cart, counting until you reach 10 (or any other target number). This builds numeracy skills and helps to move math out of the classroom.

Word search: Bring your child’s sight word list to the store. Slip it into a protector sheet so that he can mark off words and letters.

As you go through the aisles, have him look for the letters in each word, one word at a time. As he gets better at reading, have him try to find whole words on packaging and signs. This boosts all literacy skills.

Meal prep: Work with your child to plan a whole meal. Something simple, like a picnic lunch or pasta with sauce, would be perfect. Write a list with all the ingredients. Use a quick picture for any new words. Then work together to find all the items. This builds literacy, sequencing and organizational skills.

Which is less: Pick 2 similar items with different prices. A good example would be a box of cereal that costs $2.50 and one that costs $3.50. Point to the dollar amount ($2 and $3). Ask your child: “Which is less?” If she needs help, hold up your fingers or ask her to hold up hers. You could also ask: “Would you rather have 2 cookies or 3 cookies?” This activity boosts number skills, like comparing and sequencing, as well as logical thinking.

When Your Child Is an Upper Elementary (3-6) Student

Students in these grades have mastered essential reading and math skills. They can move on to bigger things!

Pound for pound: In the produce section, have your child use the scale to weigh your produce for the week. After weighing, ask your child to estimate or actually calculate how much each type of produce will cost.

This activity reinforces weights and measures, as well as building addition, estimation and multiplication skills.

How much left: Give your child a lunch or snack “budget.” Tell them that this amount has to see her through the whole week for lunches at school or snacks everywhere.

For the first few weeks, assist them in making smart choices. Show her how to deduct purchased items from her starting budget.

Then, let her fly free! This gives children the opportunity to make smart food choices and feel more in control of their environment. Plus, she is learning good budgeting techniques and how to balance accounts.

If you feel extra generous, let her know that any “extra” can go into a savings account or be used for a special purchase.

Read the store: Hand your child the list. Walking together, he should read the list to you, then locate the item on the shelf and read you the label. For items that are similar, he should read the whole label to check that it’s what you want. Once you have confirmed the selection, it goes into the cart. This builds skills with unfamiliar words, teaches teamwork and boosts organizational skills.

When Your Child Is a Middle and High School Student

These children can read independently and are moving on to harder math concepts. High school students will soon be spreading their wings in the real world! Now is the time to reinforce smart shopping habits and budgeting skills.

Solo act: Give your child a budget and a list that covers several meals throughout the week. You could make her responsible for finding all the ingredients for dinners, for example, and she has to keep costs at or under $45. Then let her go. You continue shopping with your list as usual. Then meet up right before the registers to confirm final purchases. Let your child check out on her own too. This builds independence, problem-solving, math and budgeting skills.

Meal planner: As children get older, they also need to boost their life skills. Cooking is essential to surviving in the real world, and now is a great age to teach it.

Make your child responsible for meal planning. Start with one meal per week and increase the load from there. Give him a budget. Invite him to use coupons, get a shopping club card and use your cookbooks.

Then he needs to shop for the ingredients while staying under budget. Finally, he should cook and serve the meal. Doing this will give him a better understanding of food prices, budgeting, cooking for a crowd and reading recipes.

How do you build teachable moments into your commissary trips? Tell us your best strategies in the comments!