November rolls around and the to-do lists for the holidays start to get longer and longer. It’s not just the holiday stuff, it’s the visits. That endless cycle of running between houses, seeing all the people and making endless trips.

Every single year, we make the trek to be with family and friends back home. Only to spend the entire trip running back and forth between everyone’s homes.

Frankly, it’s exhausting and kind of disheartening to always be the one doing the heavy lifting during visits.

Stop Running Around for the Holidays

This year, make a resolution to say “no” to the parade of visits, flights and car rides. Say “no” to attempting to see everyone and please everyone over the holidays.

Make Some Decisions

As a family, decide how you want your holiday season to look this year.

• Where will you go?
• Where will you stay?
• How will you get there (or not)?
• What will you do?
• Who will you see?

Once you have your vision, make your travel plans from there. Keep sanity in mind as you make your itinerary.

Let Them Come to You

If you are going home, set some clear boundaries. There is no reason for you to be running yourselves ragged traveling all over creation to see people.

One of the most powerful things you can do is share your plan:

“We’ll be at (location) from (dates). If you’d like to see us, please let us know and we’ll share our specific plans.”

This puts the onus on your extended family and friends to come to you. After all, they live in the area you’re visiting and haven’t traveled from far away.

You have. Let them come to you.

Or you could simply say:

“We’ll be making reservations at (restaurant) on (date). Should we add your family to the reservation?”

Again, this puts the responsibility on others to join you. And it limits your travel – a win no matter how you spin it!

Simply Stay Put

Staying home is underrated. Traveling on or around the holidays is awful whether you’re driving or flying.

So don’t travel. Stay at home instead!

If you’re feeling welcoming, you could invite folks down to see you. Just be clear about whether you’ll be hosting them in your home or if they’ll need to make reservations elsewhere.

You’ll feel so much more relaxed! It’s fun to create your own traditions as just a small family unit. Or build your community by sharing events with local friends or your unit.

Take a Vacation

Another option is to seriously escape it all: go on a legit vacation. Book your family on a trip to somewhere fun – all together!

Again, you could invite your extended family or friends along on your adventure. Or go it solo with just immediate family.

Either way, you’ll escape the forced marches between different sides of the family. And that’s a victory.

Celebrate at Another Time

Skip the inflated ticket prices and crowded highways, celebrate Christmas during March or Thanksgiving in October. Find a time that works for everyone and commit!

This way you’ll get to have your cake and eat it, too. On the actual holiday, you can create traditions with your own family with some sanity to boot. At another time, you can host a big celebration with your extended family and friends.

Keep Your Sanity Front & Center

If it’s not making you happy, say no. No excuses needed.

Driving around, flying hither and yon – it’s just not relaxing or celebratory. It’s not what the holidays are supposed to be about.

Instead, this year, put yourself and your family first. Take a break. Do your own thing. Set boundaries and don’t force yourself to do ALL the traveling all the time.

It’s okay to say no. It’s fine to pass up on opportunities. And it’s good to ask those you love to make the journey to see you for a change.

No matter what you decide to do this holiday season, make sure your own sanity is coming first.

How will you be saving your sanity this holiday season?

You’ve got a baby on the way! But you’re also not sure about how you’ll juggle life along with lack of sleep plus breastfeeding. Really, you need support and some common sense explanations about how to make motherhood and military life work together.

Tricare Benefits for Nursing Moms – Explained!

Tricare has a benefit for this exciting time in your life, and The Breastfeeding Shop can help military-connected new mothers navigate the system.

The Breastfeeding Shop was founded in 2014 specifically to support military families looking to nurse their new baby.

“I am a huge proponent of breastfeeding and supporting new moms as well,” explains The Breastfeeding Shop founder Patty Gatter. “I also wanted to help support our military families in some way.  So this seemed to be the perfect way to accomplish all of these things.”

The Breastfeeding Shop offers military moms an easy way to access their Tricare-covered breastfeeding supplies, including breast pumps and milk storage bags as well as some replacement parts.

Get Yourself a Prescription

All new mothers are authorized breast pumps, paid for via Tricare. This benefit applies to each live birth event, which means that Tricare beneficiaries can get a new breast pump for their first child and every child born subsequently!

That’s important since breast pumps can wear out due to age or frequent use.

The first step to accessing the Tricare breast pump benefit is to obtain a prescription. According to Gatter, expecting mothers can and should request a prescription for a breast pump from their OBGYN at or after 27 weeks gestation.

Any prescription form will work, as long as it is properly signed by the appropriate medical practitioner.

“Tricare requires the prescription to have the Mom’s name on it, what type of breast pump, electric or hospital grade, signed and dated by the ordering physician, nurse practitioner, midwife or physician assistant,” says Gatter.

Moms-to-be can submit their own prescription via The Breastfeeding Shop’s easy to use online form. If that’s not possible, trained staff members at the Shop can call the doctor’s office to confirm the prescription. You can also call 866-255-6779 for assistance in submitting an order or use the mobile app.

All prescriptions should include a diagnosis code, length of need (at least 36 months) and a medical provider’s signature.

Get a Handle on Insurance

Working through Tricare’s red tape can be daunting, especially when already sleep-deprived.

Luckily, The Breastfeeding Shop can and will handle all the paperwork for Tricare beneficiaries!

“We want it to be as simple as possible,” Gatter explains. “We know a new mom has a lot to do! We submit the claim and all necessary paperwork on the mom’s behalf.”

That’s it:

• submit your prescription
• order your pump and supply kit
• let The Breastfeeding Shop handle the paperwork

Keeping Your Milk & Pump Safe

Once the pumping starts, parents need places to store expressed milk. New military moms are authorized 90 milk storage bags when the pump is first issued.

While more than 90 bags aren’t included in the initial prescription for the breast pump, more storage bags could be ordered with an additional prescription.

Maintaining clean tubes, valves and flanges are essential to keeping a breast pump in good working order. All of these parts are covered by Tricare. New moms can order these supplies 30 days after birth through The Breastfeeding Shop.

For the initial set of replacement supplies, a new Rx is not required,” says Gatter. “However, if they need additional replacement items after that, they will need an Rx for each new order.”

Not all breast pump parts fit every mom. Breasts and nipples come in different shapes and sizes! New mothers can now order flanges in different sizes through The Breastfeeding Shop, all covered under Tricare.

“They have also added to the benefit to cover Supplemental Nursing Systems (SNS feeder) and nipple shields (an RX is required for those),” Gatter explains.

In addition, Gatter explains that some new moms might also be eligible for maternity support belts, postpartum compression, positioning wedge and compression socks to be covered as well.

Supporting Military Moms Around the World

The Breastfeeding Shop is committed to supporting military-connected mothers and moms-to-be no matter where they are stationed. Breast pumps and accessories can be shipped within the US as well as to APO and FPO addresses overseas.

“We are appreciative of our relationships with all regions of Tricare, Tricare West, Tricare East and Tricare Overseas,” says Gatter. “We have worked very closely with them throughout their policy changes to stay properly informed.”

While other breastfeeding supplies providers have disassociated from serving Tricare beneficiaries, The Breastfeeding Shop continues to serve military families.

“We have not backed away and have continued business as usual,” says Gatter. “A lot of companies have stopped supplying accessories for a variety of reasons. We have not and continue to honor the policy and our contract/ relationship with Tricare.”

Going forward, Gatter and The Breastfeeding Shop are on a mission to support military moms who choose to breastfeed or use expressed breast milk to nourish their infants.

“My mission is to be the best and most helpful breast pump supplier. to listen to the moms and have a good understanding of their needs and help them address those needs,” she says. “I always tell my staff that we don’t provide breast pumps – and the look at me like I’m crazy – I say, we are in the business of helping new moms.”

Have you used your Tricare benefits to cover a breast pump? What was your experience? Sound off in the comments!

As often happens a chance encounter and an act of kindness resulted in something bigger. In 2009, Ken Ruff found himself behind a soldier and his family at a grocery store when he noticed they didn’t have enough money to pay for their groceries which included an austere number of items to make a Thanksgiving dinner. He stepped up to pay the difference despite the protest.  The encounter made Ruff realize there was a need to help military families during the holidays.

 Ruff went back to his company Beam Global and canceled the holiday gifts usually given to clients and got the seed money to launch a pilot program to distribute more than 500 holiday meals kits to service members and their families. They paired with Operation Homefront a nonprofit Ruff had worked with before and trusted. The program has continued to expand over the years and now has 20 core sponsors that provide generous support which includes volunteer hours, funding, food items, venues, storage, and shipping.

 Each holiday meal kit contains a turkey, gravy cranberry sauce, stuffing and vegetables. In 2018, almost 10,000 families were gifted a holiday meal due to generous donors. Since that first year, the Holiday Meals for Military program has served over 90,000 military families including 420,000 family members.  

The 2019 Holiday Meals for Military Events are now open for registration. All ranks of Active Duty are eligible as well as National Guard or Reserve on Title 10 status, Post 9/11 wounded, ill, or injured service member of any rank. Visit Operation Homefront – Holiday Meals Registration to register for a meal. The group operates on many installations around the country.

In addition to the Holiday Meals, Operation Homefront provides a variety of services to military families in need. One of the ways you can help is to make a monetary donation to their current needs. There are many families suffering a one time crisis that can be helped with a donation to stop a downward financial spiral due to unexpected expenses. For example, one family just needs $78 for groceries. Others need emergency assistance to pay rent or utilities.

Another need is volunteers. As a nonprofit, Operation Homefront is dependent on their volunteers who help make their valued programs and services for military families happen. Programs include: critical financial assistance, rent-free transitional housing, caregiver support programs, family support with holiday meals, school supplies, baby bundles, toys, and resources for military spouses and children. Visit the website to find volunteer opportunities in your area.

They also have a monthly giving program called “Homefront Hero”. A donation of $10 a month will help provide groceries for a month for a military family. A $25 monthly donation helps pay utility bills for a military family. You can help cover car repairs for a military family with a $50 a month donation. It is simple to set up and makes a huge impact for our military families.

Whether you need their services or would like to give back, check out Operation Homefront. What ways do you give back to our military communities?

Marguerite Cleveland is a freelance writer who specializes in human interest and travel stories. She is a military brat, a veteran and now a military spouse.  Her military experience is vast as the daughter of a Navy man who served as an enlisted sailor and then Naval Officer. She served as an enlisted soldier in the reserves and on active duty, then as an Army Officer. She currently serves as a military spouse. She lives in the Pacific Northwest with her husband and two sons. Visit her website www.PeggyWhereShouldIGo.com

The Nonprofit, Soldiers’ Angels runs a Halloween Candy collection program. The program signs up local businesses like dental offices to agree to accept excess Halloween candy in exchange for goodies. The candy is then collected and sent to troops and veterans. Visit Soldiers’ Angels to find a drop off location near you. It is too late to sign up to be a drop off point this year but check back in August, 2020 if you would like to be a collection point. This is a great way to get rid of all the candy your kids collect without all the tears. Many young ones are happy to “Support the Troops”.

“May No Soldier Go Unloved” is the motto of Soldiers’ Angels and founder Patti Patton-Bader saw first hand the need for soldiers to feel loved. The daughter of a Korean and Viet Nam war veteran, she established the nonprofit when her son, Staff Sgt. Brandon Varn was deployed to Iraq and shared stories that he was one of the few receiving care packages from home. Determined to turn this heartbreak around, Patti marshalled the troops of her family and friends and soon every soldier in the platoon was receiving a care package. 

Since that time “Soldiers’ Angels has become one of the highest rated nonprofits in the country. The group aids those serving in all branches of the military, their families and to Veterans. Almost everything raised, 96.5% goes to the organizations programs to provide support. It meets all 20 standards for accountability with the Better Business Bureau and awards from GreatNonprofits and Charity Navigator. Soldiers’ Angels has thousands of volunteers which they call Angels. In 2018, the group provided $25 million in aid, sent 28659 care packages and 177,307 letters, supported 24,000 Veterans with food aid, distributed 39,995 items at VA Hospitals. Over the holidays adopted 1637 families and provided 1,165 baby boxes to spouses and active duty female service members. Volunteers logged an astounding 164,524 volunteer hours. You can see why they are rated so highly as a charity.

This worthy cause has a variety of ways you can help. Visit the website and make monetary donations online or by mail. Ask if your company makes a matching gift or contribute through the Combined Federal Campaign. Host a Fundraiser or consider planned giving in your will. Drink a Beer, look for Craft Breweries that participate in Hops for Heroes and down a Homefront IPA. Soldiers’ Angels is one of the beneficiaries.  There are a variety of other ways you can support this cause such as donating a car or shopping at Amazon. Even little things can make a big difference.

May No Soldier Go Unloved,
May No Soldier Walk Alone,
May No Soldier Be Forgotten,
Until They All Come Home.™

Marguerite Cleveland is a freelance writer who specializes in human interest and travel stories. She is a military brat, a veteran and now a military spouse.  Her military experience is vast as the daughter of a Navy man who served as an enlisted sailor and then Naval Officer. She served as an enlisted soldier in the reserves and on active duty, then as an Army Officer. She currently serves as a military spouse. She lives in the Pacific Northwest with her husband and two sons. Visit her website www.PeggyWhereShouldIGo.com

My kids run out the door, and after a quick peek I know that I can keep on prepping dinner. When I run out of Tylenol at night, I know I’ve got some just a quick phone call away.

I’m raising my kids in an incredible village – and it’s amazing.

Why Raising Kids in a Village is Amazing

Finding a space like this is rare in the world. But it’s something you find on every single military base around the world.

No, our housing situation might not be amazing. But the neighbors truly do make up for what’s lacking.

Built-In Parent Friends

Parenting, especially when you are often doing things solo, is a rough journey. Military housing and military communities offer a support system – built right in.

No matter where you are on the parenting journey, there is a neighbor going through something similar.

When I was first pregnant, I lived off-base. I didn’t know my neighbors and only had my colleagues at school for support. Even the unit wasn’t supportive since it was an unorthodox structure.

I had almost no one to talk to about pregnancy, birth or what life is like with a newborn. It was lonely.

Contrast that to my second pregnancy, when we lived on base. My friend across the parking lot had a kid the same age as my oldest. My neighbor right next door had just had a baby six months earlier. And someone down the block was a pediatric nurse.

All my worries, problems and even medical questions were instantly answered. Everyone I needed was right there, in my on base community.

Immediate Friends for Kids

My kids have never known what it’s like to be the new kid because they have spent most of their (admittedly short) lives living on military bases. They were never the new kid because everyone was the new kid, at the same time.

My daughter’s best friends moved into their houses at exactly the same time we did. They were all new together.

By the end of week one, they were roaming our cul de sac as a tiny three-year-old mob.

They learned to ride bikes the exact same day, collected bugs and generally ruled the community playground.

Immediate friends were plentiful in my little village.

Collective Parenting at Its Finest

When I moved into my last neighborhood on base, all of the parents seemed to share a collective parenting strategy. The consequence for one kid that stepped out of line was the same for everyone.

It was never really ever talked about, but it happened nonetheless.

Perhaps at some point, we had some informal chats about stuff or talked things through in the moment. But mostly, one parent spoke up and the rest of us followed along.

It’s also what made it easy to give my kids a lot more freedom.

They were able to run outside to play because I knew another parent would watch them while I wrapped up dinner or finished a few chores. Don’t get me wrong, this wasn’t a situation where my kids were running amuck 100% of the time without me.

No, we swapped our duties so that everyone operated more efficiently. I would come out once I had my inside things under control so that another parent could pop into their house for a bit. We rotated supervision.

That’s not something I’ve ever experienced before. Having that type of a community, the kind where you feel comfortable giving freedom to your children and still getting all the things done, is so freeing.

We Need More Villages for Our Kids

In the modern era, we seem to have moved away from neighborhoods like this. We don’t see kids outside playing after school. Instead, everyone is inside because parents have stuff to do, kids have homework and someone needs to be supervising every single second.

Living in a village with that unspoken community parenting agreement made it easier for my family to thrive. And we need that again in America.

Kids should play outside, parents should share the burden and everyone should support each other. This is just life on military bases around the world. But it needs to make a revival in cul de sacs and neighborhoods off base, too.

Our nation would be better for living together, sharing joys and responsibilities more freely. It would certainly make getting dinner on the table and keeping kids occupied safely a little easier!

How have you leaned on your military village to raise your family? Share your story in the comments!

Every year, businesses and organizations prep special opportunities and discounts to honor those who have honorably served. And in 2019 these discounts are going to be incredible!

To make your life easier, we’ve broken everything down by category:

• Food Freebies
• Store Savings
• Fun & Entertainment

We’re sharing a few hand-picked deals from across the US that serve up amazing benefits to active duty troops, veterans and retired service members.

Veteran’s Day Freebies & Discounts for 2019

We’d love to know your favorite Veteran’s Day deals and discounts! Or if we’ve missed a special opportunity that’s flying under the radar.

Food Freebies for Veteran’s Day 2019

Everybody’s got to eat – and on Veteran’s Day lots of yummy restaurants open their doors to troops and veterans with free meals!

You’ll want to bookmark a few of these spots on your favorite GPS app for November 11. It’s 100% possible to eat free all weekend, breakfast, lunch and dinner!

• Applebees: veterans and troops will receive a free meal on November 11
• Chili’s Bar & Grill: grab a meal on the house on November 11
• Golden Corral: mosey on down for your free dinner between 5-9pm on November 11
• Red Robin: order a burger and fries on November 11
• Mission BBQ: get yourself a tasty sandwich and a slice of cake on Veteran’s Day
• IHOP: start your day with pancakes and syrup on November 11
• Texas Road House: from 11am-4pm, active duty and veterans can grab a free Texas-sized lunch
• 54th Street Grill: get lunch, up to $12, for free on Veteran’s Day
• Bob Evans: choose from a special Veteran’s Day menu of complimentary meals just for veterans and troops
• California Pizza Kitchen: choose from a free pizza, pasta or salad on Veteran’s Day
• Hooters: enjoy your wings, or any entree, for free on Veteran’s Day
• Little Caesars: grab a Hot N’ Ready meal deal, up to $5, on November 11
• Olive Garden: the Italian chain is curating a special Veteran’s Day menu, offered for free
• Peet’s Coffee: sip a free cup of coffee or tea on November 11
• Starbucks: or grab a tall cup of joe here on Veteran’s Day
• TGI Friday’s: enjoy a free lunch, up to $12, from 11am to 4pm on November 11

Other chains offer discounts to veterans and active duty troops – including some that run all year long!

• Hometown Buffet: snag 15% off of meals for up to 4 people on Veteran’s Day and Mondays all year long
• Old Country Buffet: sit down to a yummy feast at 15% off for up to four people on November 11 and every Monday throughout the year
• Bakers Square: you’ll be able to get a free meal on November 11, plus a 10% discount every day of the year
• Bonefish Grill: get a free appetizer when you order an entree on Veteran’s Day
• The Chop House: score 50% off of your meal (maybe a steak?) on November 11
• Fogo de Chao: get your Brazilian BBQ on with a 50% discount on meals from November 8 to November 11, plus three additional meals will be discounted 10%

Store & Shopping Savings on Veteran’s Day

Veteran’s Day offers more than just a free or cheaper meal. You can score some sweet deals at stores, too!

• Home Depot: grab a 10% discount on Veteran’s Day, or any day, at this home supply superstore
• BJ’s Wholesale: get a membership at a 30% discount on November 11
• Publix: load up your cart and checkout at 10% off on Veteran’s Day
• Great Clips: look sharp with a free haircut on November 11
• Tuft & Needle: sleep sounder with up to $175 off of your new Mint or Hybrid mattress

Fun & Entertainment Deals for Veteran’s Day

Round out your day with a little fun – for free! Or at least way cheaper. Check out these incredible Veteran’s Day discounts and opportunities!

• B&B’s for Vets: enjoy a night of relaxation at a welcoming B&B
• Colonial Williamsburg: experience colonial life with free admission throughout Veteran’s Day weekend
• Divi Resorts: book a tropical getaway at up to 50% off through November 27
• Knott’s Berry Farm: go screaming down roller coasters for free November 3-21 and December 2-19
• La Quinta: stay for 15% off through December 5 at these super family-friendly hotels
• Montpelier, Monticello, Mount Vernon: veterans and active duty get free admission on Veteran’s Day weekend
• National Parks: over 100 properties will be open to veterans, active duty and their families on November 11
• Westgate Resorts: enter to win a free stay in May 2020 – with 1,500 free stays are offered up with entry starting on November 11
• Zoos across the US: go see lions, tigers and bears at the San Antonio Zoo, Zoo Atlanta, Point Defiance Zoo and Aquarium, Riverbanks Zoo and Garden, Sedgwick County Zoo, Woodland Park Zoo, Cincinnati Zoo and the Birmingham Zoo

Most of these deals, discounts and freebies require verification of your military service. So arrive in uniform, bring your CAC card, DD214 or other proof of service. Check with each location you’d like to visit to find out what they require.

What did we miss? Share your favorite national or local Veteran’s Day deals in the comments!