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Pregnant Military Spouses Concerned about Delivering at Military Hospitals

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I opened my Facebook news feed and my heart sank. The pictures were everywhere in a matter of hours. From a story that was being shared just in the military community, it quickly gained traction as the Scary Mommy website and other heavy hitters got involved.

The pictures reflect every new parent’s fears about leaving a child with another person. Thoughtless actions and careless words went viral. Now military spouses are left wondering about the reliability of their military treatment facilities.

Pregnant military spouses are questioning whether they should give birth at a military hospital.

When I was pregnant, I never thought twice about receiving all of my prenatal and birth care at the Naval hospital. After all, my insurance is fully accepted and everything would come at a very low cost or be absolutely “free.” I’ve had amazing experiences during both pregnancies and births. My nurses seemed to be attentive, kind and compassionate to me and my brand new baby.

With those photos, however, a little seed of doubt has crept in. How many other military families thought that everything had gone well? They must have believed, like I did, that corpsman would act with decency and dignity.

Instead, through the actions of 2 medical providers, we have learned that this is not always the case.

By posting these pictures, the corpsmen involved violated patient rights according to HIPAA. They shared images of the tiniest babies at their most vulnerable. A baby’s sweet little face was shared to people without parental consent. Worst of all, the infants were manipulated into poses and postures that were degrading or insulting. All without parental consent.

Expecting Mothers Concerned about Delivering at Military Hospitals

Does this news concern you? What actions do you think the Navy should take to prevent this from happening in the future?

Every time someone wheeled my babies out of the maternal recovery room for any reason, my heart skipped a beat. Yes, I had very healthy, medium to large babies. You might call them sturdy.

However, after gestating within me for 40 weeks, these moments marked the very first time that my children had been out of my sight. I worried and waited anxiously until my newborn was returned.

I’m sure all new parents, especially mothers, share this same worry. We have been in control for almost a year, and are now ceding that role to the doctors, nurses and corpsmen. It is terrifying and heart-stopping.

Now we have this additional worry: that someone will take advantage of their position to demean a newborn.

Which brings up another concern: how were these corpsmen placed in this role to start with?

Based on their behavior, in hindsight, it seems as if both corpsmen involved did not enjoy working with mothers and infants. Surely, this must have been evident before they were assigned to the maternity ward. A medical professional doesn’t just suddenly develop such strong negative feelings toward babies. A person who calls vulnerable newborns “little Satans” probably did not start out feeling warm and fuzzy toward her patients.

During our last birth process, we had the mostly amazing corpsmen. We even had one corpsman who went out of his way to include my older child in the new baby’s routine check-up. He was so exceptional that we thought he was a doctor, until he politely corrected us.

We also had someone who was a little rougher than I would have liked and persisted with tests that were causing the baby a lot of distress. After, my spouse and I wondered why that second corpsman was in that position.

Beyond the core incompatibility of these corpsmen, the lack of oversight is also concerning.

A writer for What to Expect When You’re Expecting even shared that the fake nails visible in one photo are considered unacceptable while working with newborns. Long nails and long fake nails have the potential to injure delicate newborn skin. They can carry dangerous bacteria that can lead to infections or illness.

That both corpsmen had the time and lack of supervision to share posed images on social media is also of note. Surely, someone should have been there with them or near them or popping in and out of that location. Someone must have known.

What gives me hope that this incident won’t be recurring in other military hospitals is the swiftness of the Navy’s response.

Through legal and military justice, these corpsmen should be held accountable for their actions. Hopefully, this embarrassment will cause a review of the policies placing personnel in each position. Ideally, the Navy will review the supervision guidelines as well as staff access to personal phones or devices.

It’s unfortunate that the actions of 2 inappropriate corpsmen will impact the future of so many of their exceptional colleagues. Because I personally have had experiences with amazing corpsmen. These ladies and gentlemen went above and beyond to show kindness, compassion and dignity.

However, with so many military families now questioning what will happen or has happened, during their birth experiences, something clearly needs to happen. Military families should feel secure when they are at their most vulnerable, especially on base.

Faith needs to be restored in the system. We are all waiting to see exactly how the Navy will act to accomplish this goal.

Does this news make you less likely to want to deliver in a military hospital?

Do Special Privileges for the Military Magnify the Civilian-Military Divide?

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Do a quick online search for military discount or military offer and thousands and thousands of webpages come up.

And it’s not just restaurants or retails stores, car rentals, apartment rentals, colleges and car dealerships all offer special pricing and discounts for active duty service members, veterans, National Guard and military spouses.

Add in our medical coverage, housing pay, debt relief, and educational and retirement benefits, and it’s not hard to see why some feel that service members and their families receive too many special privileges and considerations.

Do Special Privileges for the Military Magnify the Civilian-Military Divide?

Despite the stereotypes, members of the military community aren’t cheapskates. We’re not sitting at home hoarding all the savings we get from military discounts.

But even though we know more than anyone that these benefits and privileges are earned by our service members, it can be disheartening when we find ourselves in the crosshairs of public opinion.

Often when these arguments are raised, we feel like we are standing on the other side of some kind of cultural divide.

Can the average American truly appreciate our way of life?

Can they understand why these special provisions are available for military families?

At the same time, we must consider our own motivations. Are we asking for too much?

The Difference Between Benefits and Privileges

To those who think we are, as a community, overpaid and over-privileged, a quick review of the difference between benefits and privileges is in order.

The housing, educational, retirement and medical benefits are just that – benefits.

Just like any other job, these benefits are part of the total compensation package offered by an employer to an employee upon the acceptance of a position.

Yes, these benefits are funded by federal taxes, a system our community also pays into, but any American who chooses to apply and accept a position in the military is entitled to receive them.

These things are not privileges, they are earned compensation.

That being said, it is important to understand that there is a limit to these benefits. I’ve heard military spouses complain about the military not paying for an airline ticket home for a funeral or about how school loan debt for dependents should be forgiven.

While arguments could be made for additional benefits in both cases, the truth is, the military isn’t a I-want-it-so-give-it-to-me free for all. We cannot simply expect that our every need and want be subsidized by the American taxpayer.

The U.S. military is not a welfare state. We must be careful about considering ourselves to be a community more deserving than others. We are no more American than our civilian neighbors.

Benefits earned should be benefits received. Everything else is on us to manage.

All Those Military Discounts

While most businesses offering a military discount do so as a way to give back and say thank you, let’s not lose sight of the fact that it is still a marketing technique used to attract customers.

The U.S. military community is fairly unique as far as our spending habits are concerned. Job security offers our community of consumers the ability to spend more than their civilian counterparts in many areas. Offering a discount attracts customers from the million plus strong military community.

It’s no different than offering a discount to those who have student ID or are over 55 years old.

And when you consider that a lot of military folks I know tend to spend more when there is a military discount offered or leave bigger tips, any military discount is funneled right back into the economy.

Despite the stereotypes, members of the military community aren’t cheapskates. We’re not sitting at home hoarding all the savings we get from military discounts.

A Community Apart?

We are a community unlike any other in that we exist because our nation demands a strong and professional military. And while our role as citizens is unique, we must not lose sight of the fact that we are part of much larger whole and should continue to serve our country with grace and humility.

We must not close ranks, but instead remain open and engaged in the conversation about the future of this country, including its military.

After all, while long and distinguished, even a career of service in the military must come to an end. And we will need to cross that cultural divide and rely on the strength and acceptance of our civilian communities to help us make that transition.

Do you think that military discounts add to the cultural divide between the military community and civilians? Share your opinion in the comments section.

When the Promotion Doesn’t Come

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There are to-do lists, grocery lists, PCS packing lists, duty station bucket lists and holiday wish lists.

But there is a single list that can turn an ordinary day into a reason to celebrate or a reason to be discouraged — The promotion list.

The hours spent in preparation for a board, the extra PT to improve to max out points, even the completion of college classes, have all been done in an effort to jump up a rung on the military rank ladder.

And when that day comes there are rounds of congratulations, celebratory dinners and toasts to the newly promotable. Social media posts proclaim the good news, but only for those selected.

What about when the promotion doesn’t come?

Dealing with the disappointment isn’t easy. In fact, with so much vested in advancement, not seeing your service member get the promotion you know they deserve can be downright depressing. But like so many other things in life, the right perspective can help take away the sting.

When the Military Promotion Doesn't Come

Enduring these moments of disappointment can strengthen your marriage.

Go Ahead and Vent

Feelings of disappointment, frustration and anger are normal and natural. Promotions are a big deal and feeling like your service member got passed over is never a pleasant feeling.

Sometimes you just need to let it out. Disappointment internalized can become bitterness and resentment, 2 emotions that are contrary to a military team environment.

It’s OK to express those feelings, just be cognizant of where and to whom you share them with. Avoid long rants on social media or outbursts in front of those who were selected.

If you can, find something constructive to do with all that negative energy. Clean your house, go for a run, bake up a storm, do whatever will help to take your mind off things for a while. Give yourself time to process all of those feelings, but then make sure you focus on something else.

Fixating on disappointment isn’t healthy. If you feel like your service member isn’t handling it well or dwells on those negative feelings for too long, make sure you reach out for help. Chaplains are a good place to start, but all military installations have mental health services readily available for service members and their families.

Be a Support System

Enduring these moments of disappointment can strengthen your relationship.

I can’t tell you how many times my spouse or other service members were sure to get a promotion, only to find their names missing from the list. Military services promote for positions they need to fill and sometimes the needs for one MOS or specialty is higher than another.

Promotions can sometimes feel quite arbitrary, and even deserving service members don’t get selected.

A conciliatory night out or a special dinner to show them how much you appreciate them might be in order. Just try to keep it lighthearted and positive. Remind them of all of the great things they have accomplished thus far.

Congratulate Those Who Made the List

Be graceful and congratulate those who did get selected for promotion. Our community is too small to let promotions affect our friendships and relationships. And next time, it might be you receiving the congratulations while someone else is left with the disappointment.

Remember that lack of promotion is not a demotion.

With so much energy focused on getting promoted, sometimes it’s easy to forget that just because you didn’t get promoted doesn’t mean that his or her military career is over. There are still opportunities for training that could see an increase in pay and potentially make selection for promotion the next time a shoo-in.

Start Preparing for Next Time

While there’s not a ton a military spouse can do to help a service member prepare for next time, try to be considerate and encouraging.

Volunteer to help quiz them for the board.

Be understanding when they stay an extra 30 minutes at the gym or sign up for training that looks good on their official record.

And most importantly, encourage them to keep at it.

How have you handled the disappointment when your spouse was not selected for promotion? Tell us about it in the comments section.

My Thoughts on the Global War on Terror Memorial

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President Donald Trump recently signed a bill approving the construction of a national memorial, the Global War on Terror Memorial, which will honor those who have fought and died in Iraq and Afghanistan since 2001.

The bill to establish the national memorial was sponsored by Sens. Joni Ernst, R-Iowa, an Army veteran of the Iraq War, and Joe Manchin, D-West Virginia in the Senate.

Reps. Mike Gallagher, R-Wisconsin, and Seth Moulton, D-Massachusetts were the bill’s sponsors on the House side. Both are Marine Corps veterans of the Iraq War.

My Thoughts About the Global War on Terror Memorial

The Global War on Terror Memorial Foundation hopes to unveil its memorial by 2024. 

This bill does not select a location for the Global War on Terror Memorial, but it authorizes its site as somewhere on “federal land in the District of Columbia.” Organizers are hoping for a spot on the National Mall.

The memorial will be 100% privately funded through donations raised by the Global War on Terror Memorial Foundation. The estimated cost of construction is $40 million.

What will the Global War on Terror Memorial look like?

Now that the memorial has been approved by Congress and the president, the memorial’s organizers are working on its design. So far, they have announced that the memorial will include 6 themes: endurance, sacrifice, all-volunteer, global, multicultural and unfinished.

My Thoughts About the 6 Themes for the Global War on Terror Memorial

Endurance. Endurance is National Guard soldiers who served 18 months in Iraq and sometimes stayed longer because their deployment was extended for a second time.

Endurance is Marines who served back-to-back deployments, hopping between Iraq and Afghanistan.

Endurance is military spouses who lose track of how many times their spouse has left and returned home.

Endurance takes strength, determination and a faith in the fight.

Sacrifice. More than 7,000 service members have died in the Global War on Terror and more than 52,000 have been wounded. I don’t know how you show the sacrifice on these Americans in a memorial.

In the military community, we all know at least one name. A name that is forever etched in our hearts and our minds. We remember that name along with a date on the calendar. It’s the day of their death. The day that we solemnly remember their life and their sacrifice.

All-Volunteer. More than 2.5 million Americans are estimated to have been deployed in support of the Global War on Terror. Some of these service members were already in the military in 2001. Many were not.

These service members were children when the 9/11 attacks happened. They saw the news on television when they were 10, 12 or 14 years old. Those images stuck with them so that when they turned 18 years old, these men and women raised their right hands and took an oath to serve and protect our nation.

Global. This war has taken our service members to places that I couldn’t pick out on a map before 2001. We know about Iraq and Afghanistan, but what about Kenya, Djibouti and Kuwait?

Multicultural. The diversity of today’s all-volunteer Armed Forces makes my heart swell with pride. As a military spouse, I’m humbled when I meet service members from different races, cultures and economic backgrounds. They are American Indians from Oklahoma, men from the Philippines and women from Miami.

Unfinished. Organizers said the “unfinished” theme has 2 meanings.

First, it reminds us that this ongoing war is still taking place around the globe. The second reason points to the continued personal conflicts of our veterans when they return home.

I couldn’t have said it better myself. There is no end in sight for this war at home and around the world.

The Global War on Terror Memorial Foundation hopes to unveil its memorial by 2024. You can make a donation by visiting the foundation’s website.

What are your thoughts on the Global War on Terror Memorial?

Commissary to Expand Online Ordering Program…Soon

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Picture this. You’ve just returned from a much-needed (and well-deserved) vacation. The fridge is bare. The pantry is nothing but dusty, empty shelves. You’ve got enough laundry to clothe a small village, a stack of mail the size of the Chrysler building and all you can think is, ” I need a vacation from my vacation.”

As you sit trying to muster up the energy to take care of your suitcase, you glance over at the kitchen and your oldest is standing in front of the refrigerator, doors open, eyeballing a stick of butter. Your spouse is rummaging through kitchen cabinets, mumbling something under his breath about starvation. After several unsuccessful deep drawer raids, he turns, holding up a packet of soy sauce and a bag of crushed cracker bits before declaring the obvious.

“We need to go to the commissary.”

And while a trip to the commissary promises everything you need to keep your family fed, the thought of navigating the aisles and elbowing for position in line sounds about as much fun as a root canal.

If only the commissary offered the option to shop online.

If only you could let your fingers do the walking and send in a list of your must-haves for the week.

If only someone would gather all of the things you need, bag ’em up and have them waiting for you when you got there.

Does such a magical service exist? Could “going to the commissary” ever really be as easy as pulling up to the curb and popping the trunk?

Commissary to Expand Online Ordering Program

There aren’t definitive start dates for the online ordering program expansion yet, but the idea already has lots of people looking forward to the option.

If DeCA follows through on plans to expand their curbside pick-up services, you might just be in luck.

Currently, the commissary curbside pick-up program, called Click2Go, is only offered at 3 stateside commissaries. But, as part of DeCA’s continuing efforts to keep the commissary system operational and moving toward sustainability, this convenient service may be coming to a commissary near you soon.

Folks at Fort Lee, Offutt Air Force Base and Travis Air Force Base already know the ins and outs of the Click2Go program. Launched in 2013, the original pilot program was only supposed to last for one year. But due in large part to the astounding positive reception, the program was extended at those 3 locations indefinitely.

Initially intended to help encourage shoppers under 35 to use the commissary more often, the program saw success with older shoppers as well, proving convenience really doesn’t have an age limit. Almost all products available in the commissary are available on Click2Go, including items from health and beauty, deli, freezer and meat/seafood departments.

Currently, the program charges no fees, has no minimum purchase requirement and no tip is required for Click2Go employees.

Can you use coupons? You bet. Payment is tendered at pick-up so you can take advantage of both coupons and sale prices.

Better yet, you can shop 24 hours a day and pick from a list of available pick-up times most convenient for you. You can even place an order up to 6 days in advance.

There are no definitive dates on the expansion and there is already talk of charging a small fee for the service (much like at grocery chains across the country), but the idea already has lots of people looking forward to the option.

Just think, in the near future, instead of trying to figure out how to make a meal out of ketchup, stale corn flakes and pickles, you can use that 2-hour layover to place an order, and just swing by the commissary on your way home.

What do you think of DeCA’s plan to expand the online ordering program at the commissaries? Would you use it?

How to Talk with Your Military Kid’s Teacher About a Deployment

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During deployments and long separations, as parents, we take on a lot more responsibility and stress. The same is true for our kids.

Our worries for our spouse’s safety are shared by our children. They are also taking on more responsibility at home. Your children are missing their parent and learning to navigate a one-parent household. On top of all of that, they are going to school 5 days a week and working extremely hard.

These stressors cause different reactions. For children, they could experience increased anxiety or depression. Your child may begin acting out, exhibiting aggression and anger or even retreating from socializing with friends. Grades could take a dip or a dive. Or your child might become obsessed with making everything perfect, from grades to appearance to emotions.

Often our children’s teachers are the first to notice these changes in behavior and academic achievements.

That’s why it’s super important to keep your school and teachers in the loop as your family preps for deployment. However, deployments and even long TAD/TDY assignments come with risks and need-to-know information.

How to Talk to Your Military Kid's Teacher About a Deployment

Teachers can be your biggest ally during deployment.

How to Talk with Your Military Child’s Teacher About a Deployment Without Violating OPSEC/PERSEC

Be Honest

At least as honest as you can be. You should share the basics:

  • The general deployment window, but not a specific date. Say: “My spouse will be deploying within the next 2 months.”
  • The general deployment length. Say: “We expect she will be gone for 6 to 9 months.”
  • Your plans for pre-deployment. Say: “We will be taking a trip before my spouse leaves. My children will miss about a week of school. Please let me know how they can best make up the work they will miss.”
  • The general homecoming window, as it approaches. Say: “We expect that he will return in a month.”
  • More homecoming details, as they are released and cleared by your unit’s public affairs office. Say: “We think she might be home in March.”
  • Your plans for the period right after the homecoming. Say: “I will email you the day before our scheduled homecoming. I will be keeping our children home for a day or so to spend time as a family. Please let me know how they can complete any work they might miss.”

It’s super important that you not share exact locations, troop movements or departure/return dates. The fewer people who know these details, the better. Share what you must, when you must, in order to make sure your child’s teacher and school are on the same page.

Include Others as Needed

It’s also important to include administration and school counselors, psychologists or social workers. You can share even less information to these people. Generally, they will only get involved if there is a major issue or concern. Your child might see a school mental health counselor, psychologist or social worker if there is a deployment support group at their school.

If you need to share, you should:

  • Give the basics. Say: “My spouse is currently away on assignment for several months.”
  • Address the situation at hand. Say: “I wonder if my spouse’s absence might be one of the causes behind (concern). I would like to explore this further and find ways to support my child as a team.”

Request Discretion

When you share your family’s deployment with school faculty and staff, you also need to include a request for confidentiality. Even if your spouse is in a “safe” area, your family is still down a person and open to additional concerns at home. It’s very easy to let information slip out about troop movements, return dates, ship names and families that are missing an adult.

Ask your teacher, school administrators and mental health staff to keep all deployment information strictly confidential. Explain:

“My spouse will be away from home. This is need-to-know information that I am sharing with you so that we can work together to help my child through this challenging time.”

Occasionally, sharing information with other teachers can help your child’s teacher to find new solutions to challenges. Request:

“If you feel like asking another staff member for advice or solutions is necessary, I would ask that you let me know before you share information. If you can make such requests without sharing my child’s identity or other specific details, that would be great. If you do need to share personal information, I would like to be included in the email chain or be told what will be shared.”

Generally, help teachers and others to understand that what you are sharing is not for public discussion or knowledge. It is need-to-know only.

Teachers can be your biggest ally during deployment. Make sure to build your team beforehand. How do you include your teacher on your deployment success team? Share your tips in the comments.

Why Tricare Doesn’t Want High-Risk Pregnant Military Spouses Living in Some Overseas Locations

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Welcoming a new baby to your family should be one of the happiest times in your life. Some pregnant military spouses are feeling extra stress as they face delivering their babies away from their partners.

Under new guidelines from the Tricare Overseas Program contractor, SOS Government Services, some mothers-to-be may be forced to leave certain overseas locations due to high-risk pregnancies. For expectant mothers getting ready to PCS, their travel may be delayed until after their baby arrives. Tricare has stated that this is not a new policy but reflects the ongoing assessment of the local health care facilities by the contractor.

Why Tricare Doesn't Want High-Risk Pregnant Military Spouses Living in Some Overseas Locations

Mothers-to-be who become high-risk pregnancies while already at an OCONUS duty station have options.

Several OCONUS duty stations, like Bahrain and El Salvador, have been included in this guidance. SOS Government Services has determined that the local standard of care is not equivalent to the United States. There is not on-base maternity care available at these locations.

Other duty stations include New Delhi; Madagascar; Jakarta, Indonesia; La Paz, Bolivia; Kosovo; Qatar; Georgia; Suriname; and Chad. Other locations may be added or removed based on the changing status of health care standards in a particular place.

What is “high-risk?”

High-risk pregnancies are determined based on many factors. Often maternal age plays a role in moving a pregnancy into the high-risk category. Other factors could include gestational diabetes, other pregnancy complications, expected delivery complications or anticipated needs of the newborn based on prenatal screenings.

Military spouses who are determined to be at high-risk before they arrive in an identified duty station may stay behind until after the baby is born. Once mother and child are both medically cleared, the family can be reunited. Active duty military members could possibly have accompanied orders converted to shorter unaccompanied orders on a case-by-case basis.

Mothers-to-be who become high-risk while already at a duty station also have options. One option is “stork nesting” at a military facility of Tricare’s choosing. This could be a medical facility in the United States or one at an approved OCONUS location.

Another option would be returning to the U.S. to be near family until the baby arrives. In both cases, the travel and other expenses would be paid for.

Women who become high-risk after they are no longer able to travel will be relocated with a civilian air ambulance.

Active duty military who are identified as high-risk should consult with their command and medical practitioner. All parties should work together to determine what is best for mother and baby. Options could include expanded medical leave or an early permanent change of station.

Complications and confusion

While the policy is intended to facilitate a healthy delivery, pregnancy is not always predictable. Many textbook pregnancies end in complicated deliveries. Some newborns have unexpected health needs that must be immediately addressed. The guidance is less clear about what would happen in those cases. There is no official document that charts these possibilities or provides guidance for mothers-to-be about their options.

This becomes especially confusing when considering the guidance about seeking care in the local community. Some clinics on-base in the identified locations do refer mothers-to-be to providers in the local community.

However, Tricare has issued guidance that this care will not be covered under Tricare Prime, Tricare Prime Remote Overseas or Tricate Prime Overseas. No guidance about billing or Tricare eligibility has been issued should a normal pregnancy end with a complex birth or a baby with health concerns.

There is also no official documentation about spouses joining their pregnant partners at the selected birthing location.

This has left many military spouses confused and uncertain about their options and possible outcomes. While the health of mother and baby is always most important, pregnancy can and does change minute to minute.

What do you think of the policy to not allow high-risk pregnant military spouses to live in certain areas? Tell us in the comments.

Why Military Spouses Should Learn Rank Structure

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As military spouses we are called upon to learn a great deal. We have to learn to decipher a veritable dictionary of acronyms. Things like PCS, TDY and LES fast become part of our regular vocabulary. We learn what to do when the bugles play “Reveille,” “Retreat” and “Taps” and to stand anytime we hear the National Anthem. We learn to carry our military IDs at all times and how to navigate the intricacy of Tricare regulations. Our new secret superpower becomes the ability to find a left boot or cover at o’dark-thirty in the morning.

All new military recruits learn not only the names of the ranks, but the name of every person in their chain of command all the way up to the Commander in Chief before they finish basic training. If they can do it while learning the dozens and dozens of other things involved with being a professional soldier, sailor, airman or Marine, then we can certainly find the time to learn too.

Why Military Spouses Should Learn Rank Structure

Rank and responsibility don’t stop just because a service member takes off his or her uniform for the day. Understanding that rank often dictates social behavior during off-duty hours is also important.

Why Military Spouses Should Learn Rank Structure

Learning the Rank Structure Demonstrates an Interest in Your Spouse’s Career

Just like learning that a GI Party isn’t something to look forward to or that some promotions require extra training, learning the rank structure of our spouse’s branch gives us a better idea of the environment our spouses work in. Just like in a large corporation or civilian company, understanding the chain of command means you get it when your spouse talks about reporting to the First Sergeant or training with the Master Chief.

Knowing the difference between junior enlisted, senior NCO and commanding officer, is important for understanding career progression and responsibilities.

Plus, becoming familiar with ranks and their respective insignia shows your spouse you care about their career and are invested for the long haul, however long that may be. Few members of military leadership expect or require military spouses to understand rank, but it can only reflect well on your service member if you use your newly learned skills to expertly navigate the next unit event.

It’s A Matter of Protocol

I think most seasoned military spouses would agree that because we don’t wear the uniform, and hence don’t wear the rank of our service member spouses, that we should treat all members of our community with an equal amount of respect.

However, there are instances when understanding rank and insignia is important. Say, for example, when attending a military formal event. Part of the event generally includes a receiving line. Recognizing rank insignia helps you call the right person “Ma’am” or “Sergeant Major,” even if you have never met them before. Imagine the awkwardness that might ensue should a spouse unwittingly call a Master Sergeant “sir” or a general officer “private.”

It Helps You Navigate the Military Community

Rank and responsibility don’t stop just because a service member takes off his or her uniform for the day. Understanding that rank often dictates social behavior during off-duty hours is also important. For example, while spouses aren’t limited by regulation on who they can socialize with, military service member interactions are often governed by regulation.

If a spouse doesn’t understand rank structure and fraternization rules, a continued refusal for dinner from a neighbor might be taken as a slight, when in actuality, the decline is a result of unit, installation or service policy.

Understanding rank structure also helps keep you from earning an earful or ticket because you parked in the rank-specific reserved parking spots at the commissary. Plus, knowing whether your spouse is enlisted or officer can also save you an afternoon of baking for the wrong spouses’ support group.

Now it’s your turn: Do you think that military spouses need to understand military rank? Why or why not?

New Electronic Health Records System Coming Soon for Military Families

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If you’ve ever transferred between military treatment facilities (MTFs), you know how frustrating it can be reciting your complete medical history over and over.

New Electronic Health Records System Coming Soon for Military Families

This new medical records system will mean less paperwork for providers and patients. You won’t have to fill out a medical history form each time you see a new military doctor or dentist.

Before February of this year, MTFs did not have a computer system that allowed them to share medical and dental records easily. It was a very frustrating process for medical professionals and patients alike. You could find yourself repeating your information from a first responder to a nurse and then again to a doctor. If you got sent to another clinic, you might repeat that information yet again.

Luckily, a new electronic health records system, known as MHS GENESIS, was introduced this year.

What is the MHS GENESIS system?

MHS GENESIS is the new electronic health records system that will keep track of health information for the Military Health System (MHS) through secure technology.

It is an integrated medical and dental electronic health record that will be able to give medical professionals an electronic record of your health information. Basically, it is an electronic copy of all your medical and dental information.

It will eventually be accessible to all medical professionals at any military treatment facility. With MHS GENESIS, you will no longer need to recite your medial history to your new doctor every time you PCS. You also won’t need to pick up your medical records or dental records before you move. Your provider will be able to see your family’s entire medical and dental history in one place.

MHS GENESIS will also mean less paperwork for providers and patients. You won’t have to fill out a medical history form each time you see a new military doctor or dentist. MHS GENESIS will have information stored on all care that has been provided for you. This also means that there will be less of a chance for inaccurate information given or received. You will no longer need to try to remember the dates of previous surgeries or vaccines for example.

More than 800 subject matter experts came together to create MHS GENESIS. This includes medical professionals such as doctors and nurses as well as computer system professionals such as information technologists. MHS GENESIS will replace all of the systems that are currently used; that’s more than 50 systems that will be narrowed down to one single system. This includes replacing DoD health care systems such as: AHLTA, Composite Health Care System, inpatient, and parts of the Theater Medical Information Program-Joint.

More than 9.4 million Department of Defense beneficiaries and about 205,000 Military Health System professionals around the world will benefit from using MHS GENESIS.

MHS GENESIS Patient Portal

The MHS GENESIS Patient Portal launched in February. It is a secure website that provides access for you and health care providers to your medical information. Through the MHS GENESIS Patient Portal you can:

  • Review your current health information
  • Schedule medical and dental appointments for both yourself and your dependents
  • Request prescription renewals
  • Send and receive secure messages with your doctor or nurse
  • Review medical notes and certain lab and test results
  • Complete the pre-visit dental health history questionnaire
  • View, download or print health data
  • Receive alerts from the MHS GENESIS Patient Portal to schedule wellness exams

When is MHS GENESIS available?

MHS GENESIS is being rolled out in waves, starting with several small military treatment facilities in the Pacific Northwest. In February the system launched at Fairchild Air Force Base in Washington.

“We are following a path of going from our smallest to our largest deployment, so we can again take the lessons learned from each deployment so we can make the next deployment even more successful, efficient, and streamlined,”

said Stacy Cummings, the program executive officer for the Program Executive Office, Defense Healthcare Management Systems.

MHS GENESIS was scheduled to go live at Naval Hospital Oak Harbor in May; Naval Hospital Bremerton in June; and Madigan Army Medical Center in July, but at the time of writing this article there have been no updates given.

Those that have used the system have said it is a flexible and user-friendly system. The plan is to have MHS GENESIS in place in all MTFs by 2022. This will connect 55 hospitals and more than 350 clinics worldwide. They will announce when each location will go live as that time approaches.

You can access the MHS GENESIS Patient Portal here once it is available to you.

Veterans Affairs Embraces MHS GENESIS

In June Secretary of Veterans Affairs David Shulkin announced that the VA would be adopting the same electronic health records system, MHS GENESIS. This will be great for service members that transition out of the military and receive medical care through the VA.

What are your questions or concerns about the MHS GENESIS health record system?

4 Tips for Booking a Room at Military Lodging

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It’s one of the best parts about being stationed on Okinawa. The Okuma Recreation Facility is a family recreation paradise operated by the military on the north side of the island. This hidden gem has bike paths, glass-bottom boat tours, golf and kayaking. With cabins located on the beach, I knew that I wanted to stay at Okuma at least once during the 3 years we were stationed on Okinawa.

4 Tips for Booking a Room at Military Lodging

At Okuma Recreation Facility, there are beach cottages, private cabanas and log cabins available for those who want to stay for a weekend or longer. (U.S. Marine Corps photo by Cpl. Megan Angel/Released)

But booking a cabin at Okuma wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be.

First I had to track down the reservation phone number. Next I had to find out how far in advance a guest can make a reservation. Then I needed to make a reservation for the type of room my service member was eligible to stay at.

I had 3 false starts before finally succeeding at making a lodging reservation for us.

These obstacles are not uncommon when it comes to booking a room at military lodging. A friend of mine was complaining just last week saying “Why is it so hard to book a room at military lodging?” She wanted to stay in Pensacola, Fl., during a cross-country PCS road trip.

4 Tips for Booking a Room at Military Lodging

The Hale Koa Armed Forces Recreation Center as seen from Kalia Road, Waikiki, Hawaii. (U.S. Army photo by Bill Bradner)

We know that there are some awesome military lodging locations. But making a reservation can be such a pain in the butt. What’s the best way to do it?

Here are 4 tips for booking a room at military lodging.

Find out how far in advance you can make a reservation and memorize their cancellation policy. OK, you don’t have to memorize their cancellation policy. But you want to be familiar with it and clearly understand it.

Some military lodging facilities will allow guests to book a year in advance. So if you want to celebrate New Year’s Eve in Tokyo on Dec. 31, 2017, you needed to book your room at the New Sanno Hotel on Dec. 31, 2016.

Other military-owned facilities allow guests to make reservations 180 days in advance. There isn’t 1 cancellation policy for all DoD lodging. It varies by location, so make sure you understand it when planning your vacation.

In general, reservations can be made months in advance. I recommend making your reservation as far in advance as possible.

Wait, back to the cancellation policy. Here’s why that is important.

Book ahead as long as you understand the cancellation policy because it may not be the same as a civilian hotel’s cancellation policy.

For example, when we booked our Disney vacation and planned to stay at Shades of Green, we were told that room cancellations, without a fee, must be done 30 days in advance. I put that information in my iPhone calendar and then at 31 days until our family vacation, I double-checked with my husband that our vacation was still a go.

This means, yes, his leave was approved. Yes, he would back from his deployment in time to drive to Orlando with us. No, we didn’t want to stay at a different resort.

Use the phone number. In my experience, the best way to make a reservation with military lodging is over the phone. Hands down. It’s the way to go. That way, you can find out if you’re eligible to stay at this military lodge (more on that later), what their cancellation policy is, what type of room you’re getting, what amenities that room has (coffee maker, mini fridge) and what you are paying for this room. Typically, room rates are based on pay grade.

Plus when you are on the phone and the dates you want a room aren’t available, you can find out if you can be put on a waiting list. Some military lodging has waiting lists for guests.

Understand who is eligible to stay where. Not all military lodging is open to everyone. When you are researching a particular location, make sure you understand if you are eligible to stay there or not.

Some facilities are available to active duty and retired service members, National Guard members and Reservists, and DoD and nonappropriated funding government employees and their immediate family members. Some facilities like the Marines’ Memorial Club and Hotel in San Francisco and Hale Koa in Hawaii are open to all veterans, regardless of length of service.

I should also mention that service members traveling on orders always have first priority for military lodging. I’ve never lost a room due to service members who needed it, but I could have. I recommend booking a back-up hotel, a civilian one with a no-fee 24-hour cancellation policy.

Look to other military families for information about military lodging. As you can see, it isn’t impossible to book at room at an inexpensive military resort. But it can be frustrating if you don’t understand the reservation policies.

When you’re looking for information, ask questions on your local military spouse Facebook groups. Once you figure out the secrets of booking a room, share your knowledge with other military families. It’s the best kind of paying it forward, in my opinion.

Have you had success booking a room at military lodging? What tips would you offer to make this process easier to understand?