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Resources for New Mothers Struggling with Postpartum Depression

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You’re having a baby. Congratulations! What a wonderful, exciting and terrifying time. Let’s add a PCS in there to help those already fluctuating hormones. If this is you, take a deep breath and find comfort that you are not the first milspouse to be expecting, moving and seeing your spouse off all at the same time. You are not alone.

Resources for New Mothers Struggling with Postpartum Depression

Knowing the signs of postpartum depression and recognizing it in yourself is the first step.

There is a great network of support out there for you; you just need to know how to find it and we’re here to help.

I am a planner. Things don’t always work out the way you want it to though, especially when you’re married to the military.

We planned and conceived our child while on shore duty and when I was 6 months into the pregnancy we PCSed from Florida to Virginia. I went from a small town I knew well where I had a job, friends and family to a big city where I had to find new doctors on my own while my husband went through chief’s initiation (read never home). He came home one day and told me he would be deploying shortly after our son would be born. That is a lot for a pregnant woman to handle.

Pregnancy hormones are often talked about and every woman’s experience is different. This was my first pregnancy. I was pretty optimistic, a happy person that took things in stride. I was very excited about our new life adventure. Basically, I was on a happy stride during my pregnancy. Then the baby came. What goes up must come down, or so the saying goes. I was so happy to be a new mother, to hold our precious 5.7 pound peanut and to have my husband here for the delivery. When I went home though, my hormones changed as my body adjusted to motherhood.

People don’t really talk about postpartum depression as a personal experience. It wasn’t until I had my baby that so many friends told me how depressed they were after giving birth.

How could anyone be depressed at having a wonderful child of their own? It isn’t something you can control, that’s how.

I consider myself a very strong person and didn’t want to admit to myself, let alone anyone else, that this could be something that I would face personally. But how do you deal with it?

Resources for New Mothers Struggling with Postpartum Depression

People don’t really talk about postpartum depression as a personal experience. Source: Photosavvy via flickr

Knowing the signs of postpartum depression and recognizing it in yourself is the first step; being brave enough to get help is the next. Postpartum Progress puts it in simple terms with a list of questions you should ask yourself. Does this sound like you?

  • You feel completely overwhelmed and helpless.
  • You feel guilty for feeling this way and that you are a terrible person for not being happy as you think you should be.
  • You want to hurt your baby or yourself or to run away from your family.
  • You feel angry, annoyed, irritated, sad or nothing at all.
  • You just know you are not yourself.

If this sounds like you, then reach out and get help. It might be terrifying, you might feel ashamed to admit it to friends or family, but you will feel so much better when you do. There are many resources for milspouses:

  • Utilize Tricare and talk to your doctor. She can give you a referral to a specialist.
  • Military OneSource is a free resource specifically for military families. They offer online support, live calls and links to find in-person help. I also like their guide to having a baby while your spouse is deployed.
  • Postpartum Support International offers live phone sessions where you can speak with a certified specialist. There are local support groups you can join and online resources as well.

    Resources for New Mothers Struggling with Postpartum Depression

    What resources would you recommend for new moms?

  • MOPS, Mothers of Preschoolers, is a wonderful group. It’s actually for moms of children from birth through kindergarten. It isn’t a postpartum depression group; it’s a group of mothers that laugh, cry, eat and talk about motherhood. If you are struggling in any way, go meet some other moms. You’ll learn you aren’t alone. I did.
  • Milspouses are great resources too. Talk to your best friend, your neighbor, your FRG leader or ombudsman. Just talking to another grownup can make a difference. Getting out of your pajamas and out of the house often can as well. Go to a spouse brunch or say yes to an invitation to coffee.
  • Talk to your spouse. This should be the first step, but for some it’s the hardest.

No matter which route you take, there is help out there for you. Reading this article was your first step, which one will you take next? Remember you are not alone.

What resources would you recommend for new moms?

Will Our Children Be Too Fat to Serve?

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Childhood obesity is a national epidemic that plagues both civilian and military families.

Will Our Children Be Too Fat to Serve?

DoD launched a program called 5210 to encourage military children to eat healthy and be active.

According to the report, Too Fat to Fight, 75 percent of all young Americans 17 to 24 years of age are unable to join the military because they failed to graduate from high school, have criminal records or are physically unfit.

This 2011 report also notes that the Army’s Accessions Command, which carries the responsibility for recruiting and the initial training of new Army recruits, estimates “that more than 27 percent of all Americans 17 to 24 years of age—over 9 million young men and women—are too heavy to join the military if they want to do so.”

That’s right, 27 percent of the next generation is unable to qualify for military service because of their physical conditions.

Besides being unable to follow in their parent’s footsteps of volunteering to serve in the military, obese military children are more likely to experience certain health risks such as type 2 diabetes, heart disease and certain types of cancer. An overweight child or teen today is likely to become an obese adult in the future.

Knowing this, DoD recently launched a program called 5210 to encourage military children to eat healthy and be active. The 5210 campaign recommends 4 strategies for military families to engage in a healthy lifestyle. The 5210 campaign breaks down like this:

5: Eat 5 or more servings of fruits and vegetables 

2: Limit screen time to 2 or less hours 

1: Engage in physical activity for at least 1 hour 

0: Avoid sweetened drinks including soda, sports drinks and fruit drinks

When I read these guidelines, I think it’s pretty obvious that 5210 makes sense. If we all engaged in these behaviors, we will all be healthier and more active.

Will Our Children Be Too Fat to Serve?

How do you encourage your children to be active and eat healthy?

But with school out for the summer and my husband on deployment, when I look closely at my children’s behavior, I have to admit that I struggle to achieve these daily goals. For example, I have one child who prefers fruit and vegetables and won’t eat meat. In contrary, my other child won’t eat any vegetables…unless you count French fries as a vegetable. But she will eat fruit. Does that mean I feed her a lot of fruit and cross my fingers that she gets 5 servings?

Now let’s talk about that screen time recommendation. My daughters love their Disney movies and when I’m working from home, I tend to use the television as a tool for me and a distraction for my children so that I can get my work done. My children definitely watch more than 2 hours of screen time when they are home with me. But if I have them run around the playground for 2 hours every day, does that offset their time watching PBS Kids?

The 5210 campaign is a helpful reminder of things that I already know as a parent. My children need to eat more produce and spend more time outside this summer. I’m trying to see 5210 as a welcomed excuse to hit the pool and go for afternoon bike rides together. As long as I can be strong enough to shut off the television.

How do you encourage your children to be active and eat healthy? Tell us in the comments section.

10 Things You Can Make Using Boxes

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It’s PCS season. Who just moved? I did and if your house looks anything like mine, it’s covered in boxes.

I had this great idea of having the movers do a full unpack so that they would take away the empty boxes and I wouldn’t have to pay to recycle them here. The movers arrived before 9 a.m. and left at 6 p.m. During that time, the only boxes that got unpacked were the ones my husband, my friend and I did. I was exhausted, they were exhausted and the movers were ready to be done.

Needless to say, all the boxes didn’t get unpacked and I have a house full of empty moving boxes. Now what?

10 Kid-Friendly Things You Can Make Using Moving Boxes

How have you reused moving boxes? Share your pictures with MilitaryShoppers.

While I saw it as a giant mess of boxes and packing paper, my 21-month-old son thought it was fantastic. He ran around the boxes, hid in them and jumped out shouting “peek-a-boo!” all day. It was nice to get a laugh and it made me think, there has to be something I can do with all these boxes. Did someone say Pinterest?

I thought I was a creative person; these people took it up a notch.

Here are 10 kid-friendly items you can make using moving boxes.

  1. Give your child a box of crayons and let their inner artist come out.

    10 Kid-Friendly Things You Can Make Using Moving Boxes

    Source: Berry Sweet Baby

  2. Cut a box open and draw roads for your child’s cars to drive on.

    10 Kid-Friendly Things You Can Make Using Moving Boxes

    Source: Jennifer Perkins

  3. What little kid hasn’t dreamed of having their own race car?

    10 Kid-Friendly Things You Can Make Using Moving Boxes

    Source: Our Life

  4. What’s the one thing you will have set up the night you move in your new home? Your TV. Drive-in movie anyone?

    10 Kid-Friendly Things You Can Make Using Moving Boxes

    Source: Our Life

  5. Simple games like this will entertain your toddler while you unpack.

    10 Kid-Friendly Things You Can Make Using Moving Boxes

    Source: HireAHelper

  6. How about an awesome elevator?

    10 Kid-Friendly Things You Can Make Using Moving Boxes

    Source: Repeat Crafter Me

  7. This family actually had a cardboard box-themed birthday party. I love the train.

    10 Kid-Friendly Things You Can Make Using Moving Boxes

    Source: Sean Walker Photography

  8. A girl after my own heart. Hello coffee shop!

    10 Kid-Friendly Things You Can Make Using Moving Boxes

    Source: 45wall design

  9. How about your own town?

    10 Kid-Friendly Things You Can Make Using Moving Boxes

    Source: A Beautiful Mess

  10. You just moved and the kids left their friends and family. Why not make mailboxes and they can get excited about sending mail to them.

    10 Kid-Friendly Things You Can Make Using Moving Boxes

    Source: iKat bag

Do you have bubble wrap left over too? Make bubble wrap hopscotch. Who could resist the sound of the popping?

10 Kid-Friendly Things You Can Make Using Moving Boxes

Source: Sean Walker Photography

Some of these projects will only take a few minutes, whereas others will take a bit more effort. Be as creative as you want or just send your kid off with some crayons and let them use their imagination. You never know what they will come up with.

10 Fun Ways Kids Can Reuse and Play with Moving Boxes

Do your children like to play in empty moving boxes?

How have you reused moving boxes? Share your pictures with us.

Father’s Day Gift Ideas for Military Dads

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Father’s Day is less than 2 weeks away. Have you bought a special gift to show your husband how much he means to you and your family? Whether you choose to make something or to buy a gift, we have a gift idea for you.

Here’s the 2015 MilitaryShoppers’ Father’s Day gift guide.

2015 MilitaryShoppers Father's Day gift guide for military dads

Here’s the 2015 MilitaryShoppers’ Father’s Day gift guide.

For the Sentimental Father: Photos

Consider hiring a photographer and having your children dress in daddy’s uniform or parts of it. If you’re on a budget,  you could always take the photos yourself. You can photograph the kids in your own backyard or go somewhere that is memorable to your family. The location of the photo could be just as special as the photo itself.

Father's Day Gift Ideas for Military Dads

Source: Britni Killeen Photography

Don’t have time for a photo shoot? Gather pictures you already have and present them in a fun way.

Father's Day Gift Ideas for Military Dads

Order a personalized photo reel

Feeling crafty? I love this idea. Take photos from the states you have traveled to together or where you have lived and cut them in the shape of that state to fill in a map.

Father's Day Gift Ideas for Military Dads

Source: Cut Craft Create

Homemade Gifts from the Kids

The best gifts are the ones from the heart. Let your children show how much they care for their father by letting their creativity run free. If you have a toddler, simply have them color in this downloadable daddy page and add photos of your little one.

Father's Day Gift Ideas for Military Dads

Source: Smart Bottom Enterprises

You can capture the cuteness of your baby or toddler’s hand and footprints. Let Dad be part of the fun and make a memory together with this father and child handprint art.

Father's Day Gift Ideas for Military Dads

Source: Imgfav

Ask your children what they love most about their dad and have them write it on a chalkboard or write it for them if they are too young to do it themselves. You can photograph them with it and frame it for him.

Father's Day Gift Ideas for Military Dads

Source: Positively Splendid

For the Deployed Dad

2015 MilitaryShoppers Father's Day Gift Guide for Military Dads

Don’t forget to include some homemade cookies in your Father’s Day care package.

Send a care package full of family memories. Include letters from the children and yourself, photos of the family, snacks Dad loves and personal mementos. Add a touch of fun with punny Post-its as well.

Father's Day Gift Ideas for Military Dads

Feeling a little silly? Send a giant hug his way. Who could resist such an adorable thing?

Father's Day Gift Ideas for Military Dads

Send a hug to a deployed dad this Father’s Day.

It can be lonely curling up in bed at night without having your husband next to you. This is a very unique gift. Send your spouse a special pillow. When he falls asleep, wherever he is in the world, your pillow will glow and you can hear his heartbeat when you rest your head on the pillow. Finding comfort in knowing your spouse is safely in bed can help you rest easy.

Father's Day Gift Ideas for Military Dads

Source: Sheknows.com

Military-themed Gifts

Service members collect and take pride in trading and receiving coins. Give them a beautiful way to display their military coins with a display case.

Father's Day Gift Ideas for Military Dads

Source: United States Flag Store

Create a keepsake of your husband’s time in the military. Frame his picture, medals, awards and letters.

Father's Day Gift Ideas for Military Dads

Source: Bradley’s Art And Frame

Have a little fun with some gifts as well. What military man wouldn’t love this? 50 caliber bottle opener, money clip and cufflinks are great gifts.

Father's Day Gift Ideas for Military Dads

Source: Bullets 2 Bandages

Useful gifts are great, but skip the traditional tools. Try a Made In America smart key. It takes the bulk key mess your husband carries and turns it into a compact key holder. Now there will be more room in his pocket for family pictures.

Father's Day Gift Ideas for Military Dads

Source: The Grommet

Is your husband a beer enthusiast? Order a man crate with personalized beer glasses and more.

Father's Day Gift Ideas for Military Dads

Source: Man Crates

There are so many ways to say “you are a great father and I love you” to your husband. Whether you choose to make something or to buy a gift, he is sure to love it.

What will you be giving your husband for Father’s Day this year?

Daddy Deploys, Grandma Moves in

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Your husband just got deployment orders and you are wondering how you are going to get through the next year alone.

Then you remember something your mother-in-law told you. She would move in if you ever need extra help with your kids. You think long and hard about it and decide that having her move in while your spouse is deployed is a smart thing to do.

Sound familiar?

Daddy Deploys, Grandma Moves in During a Deployment

Having someone move in with you might be the best way for you to get through the deployment.

Sometimes this is what a military spouse has to do in order to get through the deployment. She has to ask her mom or her mother-in-law to move in for an extended period of time.

In order for this to work one would have to be able to live with that person. If you just don’t get along in general, having them move in is probably not a good idea.

When my husband was deployed the first time I knew that I would probably have to give birth to my second little boy by myself. I decided to see if my own mom could live with us for 2 months. She wasn’t there the whole deployment but she sure did help during the 2 months she was with us. Since I also had a two-year-old she was able to be there for him in ways that I couldn’t. This was especially helpful after I had my baby so I could focus more on the baby knowing that my 2-year-old was in good hands.

Related: Moving in with Your Parents during a Deployment

I have also known a few spouses that did have a mom or their mother-in-law move in during the whole deployment. They knew their limits and they had circumstances that allowed this to happen. The grandma was able to come and stay for an extended period of time even though she left behind her everyday life at home.

Daddy Deploys, Grandma Moves in During a Deployment

Has your mother or mother-in-law lived with you during a deployment?

If you are facing a deployment and are considering asking a family member to move in during the time your spouse will be away, make sure you really think about all the details.

Here are a few questions to consider before grandma moves in:

  • Will you be able to live with this person each and every day? Living together for months is different then a 2-week visit.
  • Are they willing to give up their lives back home for you? Will they miss other family members too much? Will they have to quit their job?
  • Can you talk openly about budgets and expectations? How often will you need them to help with the kids? What chores would you like them to do? Will you need them to help buy groceries?

There are so many benefits to having a family member move in. You can live with another adult, have help with the children and can stay in your own home verses moving somewhere during the deployment.

Really think about what would work best for you and go from there. Having someone move in with you might really be the best way for you to get through the deployment.

If your mom or mother-in-law wants to move in, it is also OK to say no to that proposal if you don’t think the arrangement would be a good idea. Talk things out with them to figure out what would work best for you and your family.

Has your mother or mother-in-law lived with you during a deployment? Would you recommend it?

 

No Longer Active: 5 Tips for the Transition from Active Duty to National Guard Family

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It’s been almost a year since my husband ended his time as an active duty soldier. The very next day he joined the National Guard. Going to the Guard wasn’t an easy decision to make but it is what we felt was best at the time.

Since we did not move away from the Army post we had been living at, we have not experienced some of the things others do such as not having a supportive military community nearby. We still shop at the commissary, attend military family events and I have a lot of military spouse friends in the area.

The last year has been a bit difficult as we get used to our new role in the U.S. military. Being a part of the National Guard has a few things in common with being active duty but there are also a lot of differences and the transition can be a bit overwhelming.

5 Tips for the Transition from Active Duty to National Guard

When transitioning from active duty to the National Guard, you need to know how your new insurance works and which doctors take the new insurance.

Here are 5 tips for a better transition based on my own experiences with my husband:

1. Save money. You are going to need extra money during this time. You might need the money to move but you also will need it to fill in any pay gaps. If your service member is going to take time off between the Army and his civilian job, you need to prepare for that. You do have to wait a little longer than normal for their last active duty paycheck. Keep that in mind as you are making plans. You don’t want to get yourselves in a difficult situation because of lack of funds.

2. Learn about insurance. One of the hardest parts of the transition was changing our insurance. If you decide to buy your insurance through the Guard, which will be about $200 a month for a family, you will also have to pay more at appointments. If you were on Tricare Prime, this will be a shock. After years of not having to pay anything when I took my kids to the doctor, I got a bill. That was hard to get used to. You need to know how your new insurance works and which doctors take the new insurance. My doctor does not take Tricare Reserve Select so I had to find a new doctor.

3. Have a plan A, plan B and a plan C. Sometimes your plans won’t work out. You need to have backup plans. You might think a certain job is going to be right for your family and then you realize that the job really isn’t. Finding your new normal can be a bit difficult. Your spouse might have trouble adjusting to a different type of job. Give yourself some time to work things out.  It takes a while to get into a new groove.

5 Tips for the Transition from Active Duty to National Guard

Reach out to other National Guard spouses during the transition.

4. Connect with others. Finding other Guard spouses to talk to was very helpful. I had a few questions that I knew they would know the answers to. If you really don’t know anyone else in the Guard you can always look for an online group. Finding these people can be a great way to make some new friends for your new stage of life.

5. Except a change of identity. Sometimes it won’t even feel like you are a military family anymore. This can be hard since that used to be such a big part of your life. He will live a civilian life when he does not have his Guard duties. Then, he will put on his uniform to get ready to go to drill and you will be reminded that he is very much a part of the military. It is a strange feeling after active duty life.

Have you transitioned from active duty to Reserves or Guard life recently? What surprised you about this lifestyle change?

Why We Serve

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“I didn’t choose this life. He did,” I casually joked to a fellow military spouse once.

“But when you choose him, you choose it to. By marrying him, you said yes to the Navy,” she said.

Wow. Up until that very moment, this idea that I picked military life for me never entered my brain.

Up until that moment, I felt like I didn’t have a choice in the matter. Up until that moment, I felt like military life was tossed upon me and I had to accept it and move on.

Now I see things a little differently.

Why We Serve

My husband volunteered for military service one month before I met him. He raised his right hand and took the oath in August 2001.

He volunteered to serve in the Navy for a few practical reasons:

  • He needed in-state tuition to afford his out-of-state college.
  • He needed cash to pay for college.
  • He wanted an adventure.
  • He wanted to help people.

I joke that a Navy recruiting poster that said “Our Engineers don’t work in cubicles” was the REAL reason he joined the military.

Now nearly 14 years later, the 4 reasons he decided to stay in the Navy aren’t exactly the same. Every time he accepts new orders and we PCS, we, as a military family, are choosing to serve and sacrifice for our country. We are answering the call to serve.

2015 Armed Forces Day

Why do we serve? Why does my husband stay in the Navy?

The reasons for my husband’s military service are still simple and practical. He serves today because:

  • We have health care coverage for us and our children.
  • TSP is the best retirement investment plan. Period.
  • We get the adventure of living in different parts of the country for short periods of time.
  • He is able to work with many dedicated service members who have taught him how to be a leader in his community.
  • He is able to be a leader for young service members.
  • His job is challenging and rewarding.
  • He has a lot of responsibility in his job.
  • He helps people.
  • People help him.
  • People help our family.
  • We meet and get to know military friends who become our instant family.
  • And for a thousand more abstract reasons that are difficult to put into words.

During some challenging moments, I often ask myself “why do we do this? Why do we continue to move every 2 years? Why does my husband deploy and leave his children to help people in another country? Isn’t there an easier way?”

Of course, there is an easier way.

But that way isn’t the way for us. This complicated life, military life, with its highs and lows, quirks and uncertainty, is the way for us.

Why We Serve

That’s why we serve.

Why did you or your service member choose to join the military? Why do you choose to stay in the military? Share your inspiring story of military service with MilitaryShoppers.

5 Reasons Why Military Spouses Deserve a Day of Appreciation

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May is filled with lots of different appreciation days for the military community. There is Armed Forces Day on May 16 and Memorial Day, the more widely known military holiday on May 25. Separately, there is also a special day for military spouses. In 1984, the first Military Spouse Appreciation Day was observed as a way to celebrate the sacrifices made to those married to service members on the Friday before Mother’s Day.

Did you know that there are more than 1 million military spouses?

As military spouses, we personally experience the everyday challenges and deal with the roller coaster lifestyle on a regular basis. Not only that, we essentially chose this life because we happen to be in love with a man or woman in uniform.

I recently attended a change of command ceremony as a guest of the outgoing service member’s spouse because we volunteer together to raise money for a military dependent scholarship fund. She is a big influence in the military community here and as a result, the unit didn’t only recognize her husband, but her service as well. When her husband spoke about his time at the unit and his career, something stuck with me. He explained working with soldiers and whatnot, but then when he talked about family, he said something along the lines of spouses being the backbone of all military members. Without a strong support system at home, how could our military remain strong and mission ready?

I believe we keep the military force strong and effective by loving them unconditionally. So, with that said, that’s why I believe military spouses deserve a moment in the spotlight.

Military Spouse Appreciation Day

Here are 5 more great reasons why military spouses should be appreciated:

  1. Military spouses hold down the fort while military members are away. Right after “see you later,” we continue to live our lives and maintain the homefront for our families.
  2. Military spouses keep the fort running smoothly while they are home! I don’t know about you, but as soon as my husband walks in to door, he seems pretty clueless on what to do. Luckily, we work together as a team and accomplish lots of goals that way, but between you and me, I believe my husband might be a little lost without our partnership.
  3. Military spouses wear multiple hats and are used to playing multiple roles. Mom? Colleague? Student? Volunteer? The list goes on!
  4. Military spouses contribute big time to the community. To me, military spouses are such wonderful motivators and help each other out in the best possible ways.
  5. Military spouses do have to make certain sacrifices. Military families in general move 10 times more more often that civilian families. The transient lifestyle can be difficult to establish job security among other things. Did you know that 90% of military spouses are underemployed?

I asked my husband why he thought military spouses deserve an appreciation day and he answered “why not?” So, why not should people support those that support military members on the homefront? We certainly don’t have it the same as our military members, but we encounter our own obstacles. It’s important to acknowledge us that way we can continue a strong and loving relationship with our partners that happen to be military members.

Do you feel appreciated in your role as a military spouse?

Enter to Win Our Military Spouse Appreciation Photo Contest Today

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Faithful. Flexible. Encouraging. Understanding. Amazing. Inspiring.

What word best describes today’s military spouses? Can a single word sum up the emotional roller coaster that ranges from the loneliness of deployment to the joy of that first kiss at a military homecoming? Is there any way to describe the enduring encouragement required on the home front so that our soldiers, Marines, sailors and airmen can carry out their orders without personal distractions?

No. There isn’t a word that captures the military spouse experience. But there are hundreds of photos that come pretty darn close.

Enter to Win MilitaryShoppers Military Spouse Appreciation Day Photo Contest Today

May is National Military Appreciation Month and Friday, May 8 is Military Spouse Appreciation Day. This day recognizes the contributions of military spouses.

This month, MilitaryShoppers wants to showcase military spouses through its monthly photo contest. Added bonus:

This month’s photo contest winner will win $150!

Readers are encouraged to submit a photo that showcases military spouses. That could be you. That could be your mother, if you were a military brat. That could be your friend.

Enter to Win MilitaryShoppers Military Spouse Appreciation Day Photo Contest Today

The photo could be from a military life highlight. Or a military event. Or it could be a simple photo inside your home right before a PCS. The choice is up to you.

Enter to Win MilitaryShoppers Military Spouse Appreciation Day Photo Contest Today

In order to be eligible for this contest, entrants must submit a photo that showcases military spouses through this link and new registrants must check “yes, I would like to receive emails of offers, savings and contests for the military community.”

Already registered with MilitaryShoppers?

Use this link to enter the photo contest. Check your profile and make sure you have selected “Yes” on your profile where it asks if you “would like to receive coupons and special offers exclusively for military families via e-mail.”

Enter to Win MilitaryShoppers Military Spouse Appreciation Day Photo Contest Today

One winner will be selected at the end of the month. The winning photo will be announced in June.

Enter to win MilitaryShoppers’s Military Spouse Appreciation Photo Contest today.

Resiliency Starts with Resources: 4 Resources for Military Kids

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Military children aren’t naturally resilient. They aren’t born with a distinct skill set that leads them to be confident in new situations, to be understanding during separations and to be grateful for this unique life.

Yet, military brats are often described as resilient. Why?

I believe it’s because of their military parents. Resilient military children are that way because of their parents. Their parents show them the ropes of military life in a positive light. Their parents take the time to listen to their frustrations about the new school, missing their old friends, making new ones and saying goodbye to Daddy right before Christmas.

But as a military parent how do you know when to apply tough love and when to hug your way to happiness? Lucky for us, there are plenty of valuable resources to help us know how to talk to our children about military life and how to listen when they want to talk.

Cool little kids posing over white background

Here are 4 resources to utilize as parents of military kids.

FOCUS: Family Resilience Training for Military Families

You’ll recognize FOCUS (Families OverComing Under Stress) by its purple materials. FOCUS is available to families in all branches of the military and its training is based on more than 20 years of research. FOCUS says its mission is to  provide “resiliency training to military children and families. It teaches practical skills to help families overcome common challenges related to a parent’s military service, to communicate and solve problems effectively, and to successfully set goals together and create a shared family story.”

One thing I love is their emotion thermometer magnet. It helps my preschooler explaining that she’s feeling “a little red” when she doesn’t have the vocabulary to identify her exact feelings.

Sesame Street Talk, Listen, Connect Kits

With Elmo as the central character, small military children can feel like another little person understands their situation. Talk, Listen, Connect is a “a multiphase outreach initiative to help kids through deployments, combat-related injuries, and the death of a loved one.”

As a parent, I really enjoyed the conversation starters in the workbook. It had a short story I could read to my daughter and then questions I could ask her. The workbook also provides suggestions and strategies to help ease the transitions during the deployment.

With You All the Way- USO

When my husband deployed, my kindergartner received a With You All the Way support kit from the USO. This kit includes a video, a teddy bear, and a deployment journal. My child enjoyed writing in the journal about her adventures while Daddy is gone.

School Liaison Officer

Switching schools can get complicated quickly for military children and their parents. Just trying to figure what paperwork needs to be submitted to a new school district in the middle of the semester can be a frustrating experience. School Liaison Officers around the world work to ease this transition for military children.

My military children are young and I’m still trying to figure how I can best support them. Do they want to talk through their feelings? Do they want to draw Daddy a picture? Do they want to cry? Navigating these moments as an occasional solo parent and military spouse, I truly appreciate the information from the resources listed above.

What resources have you used as a parent to a military child? Which ones would you recommend?