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From the Mountains to the Oceans, Your Favorite Military Bases

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Our team of writers shared their list of their favorite military bases and now it’s your turn. So many of you commented on that article and shared with us your favorite places that you’ve been stationed at that we wanted to write a second article about the best military bases around the world.

We’ve collected the highlights and would love to get even more feedback from our readers on this topic.

Your 7 Favorite Military Bases

Joint Base Lewis-McChord

With Army base Fort Lewis and McChord Air Base located so close together, consolidating was a great choice. By joining forces, both services are better able to serve everyone. Roberta Castile loved living there!

“You have a choice where to shop,” she commented.

Joint Base Lewis-McChord is located in Lakewood, Wash., on the Puget Sound and near Mount Rainier. With easy access to Olympia and Tacoma, military families stationed here have access to both the great outdoors and city life!

Travis Air Force Base

If you enjoy being in the center of the action, this might be the military base for you! Travis AFB is located in the greater San Francisco Bay area and close to Napa and Sonoma valleys.

Residents can experience the culture of San Francisco close at hand. Napa and Sonoma are some of the premier wine destinations in the United States and the world.

In addition, Travis is a passenger travel hub with Space-A transit available to many other locations around the world.

“(The) food is awesome and the sights are too numerous to mention,” commented reader Eric. “If you ride motorcycles like I do, they have some of the best backroads anywhere in the world!”

MacDill Air Force Base

Located near Tampa, Fla., MacDill is a beautiful place to spend a few years, or to retire! The base itself is located on land right in the middle of Tampa Bay, with access to the water.

This is also a center for Cuban culture and cuisine. If you like a little more adventure, theme parks are also close by. Outdoorsy types can play on the water and land, with almost endless options to stretch their muscles.

MacDill is also close to St. Petersburg, which is a top tourist destination. The sub-tropical climate means that you will never be too chilly. With an average of 361 sunny days per year, this is the perfect place to soak up some rays.

Yokota Air Force Base

Traveling overseas is a great opportunity for military families and Yokota AFB is the perfect military base to explore Asia. Starting close to home, military members can visit Tokyo and mainland Japan, including Tokyo Disney. There is so much to see, do and taste here! From eating traditional sushi and ramen noodles to learning about the culture of geisha to visiting ancient castles, your duty station bucket list will always be full.

If you want to go farther afield, it’s fairly easy to visit South Korea, Hong Kong and other Asian countries.

Fort Bliss

Fort Bliss, located in El Paso, Texas, is a hub of military activity on the edge of the United States. The US-Mexico border is only a hop, skip and a jump away! That means that you have access to amazing Mexican and Tex-Mex cuisine and culture.

Ciudad Juarez is right across the border in Chihuahua, Mexico and offers lots of great places to eat and places to explore. El Paso also has its own exciting locations to visit, like outstanding regional wineries and a world-class zoo.

Plus, the base has undergone renovations in recent years.

“The Freedom Village and the expansion of the base has made a big impact with the military and civilian community, offering a variety not found on other major installations,” commented Celio Quinones.

Joint Base Elmendorf-Richardson

For those that like it chilly, Joint Base Elmendorf-Richardson should be on your short list. Located in Anchorage, Alaska, this is a great place to connect with your adventurous roots.

Mount Denali is within traveling distance, as is Chugach National Forest. JBER is also located close to the water, although this bay will definitely be chillier than Tampa!

As an added bonus, living in Alaska counts as being stationed OCONUS, which means you get all the OCONUS perks, without really leaving the United States!

Patrick Air Force Base

Do you have a thing for space travel? Patrick Air Force Base south of Orlando, Fla., is perfect! This base operates Cape Canaveral, which supports space launches from the Kennedy Space Center.

As a bonus, Patrick AFB is located in southeastern Florida, within easy reach of the theme park center of Orlando. Plus, there are all the beaches and vacation destinations that will be super close to your new home!

Did we mention YOUR favorite military base? If we missed it, please let us know in the comments! Tell us where you loved being stationed and why.

Why Your Family Should Make Family Goals for 2017

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“Don’t count the time, make the time count.”

As a military spouse, I often feel like I’m constantly counting time. I count down the months until we move to Hawaii. I count down the weeks until my husband comes home from deployment. I count down the minutes until bedtime.

When I’m counting down the time instead of making the time count, I miss the highlights of life. I’m stuck in the day-to-day task list. Did we make any memories as a family in the past year? Or were we so focused on homework, ballet recitals and work deadlines that we didn’t take the time to enjoy life?

Making a family goal for the new year helps me slow down and remember what’s most important in my life.

Here are 12 goals that your family may want to embrace in the new year. These 12 ideas are a starting point for your family’s discussion about choosing a goal for 2017. Don’t try to do all 12 goals. Pick one that you can do together throughout the 12 months.

Note: Whatever goal your family makes, write down your goal in the present tense. This goal isn’t a hope or a wish. With a realistic action plan, your family can achieve your goal.  

In 2017 my family is an active family. Everyone in my house benefits from fresh air, sunshine and physical activity. We know that. Yet we are tempted to stay inside and watch a movie when our bodies really need a bike ride.

In this goal, schedule a weekly family outdoor activity.

In 2017 my family is a curious family. When we moved to Mississippi 2 years ago, I made a bucket list of the local attractions that I wanted to visit.

Can you guess how many we’ve crossed off the list?

Exactly 3.

I tend to return to familiar places instead of exploring new ones. I need to push myself to be curious and go outside my comfort zone.

In this goal, plan a weekly curious day where your family finds a new park, visits a local museum or eats dinner at a new restaurant.

In 2017 my family is a face-to-face family. Limiting screen time is like eating vegetables in my house. We know we should do it, but we don’t do it as much as we probably should.

In this goal, turn school nights into no-screens nights. You will be surprised how easy a blanket policy like this can work for small children.

In 2017 my family is an “outside the box” family. After a long day, making a homemade meal is the last thing I want to do.

I want to order pizza. For the second time this week.

But with proper meal planning, we can eat healthy and balanced meals nightly. And honestly eating healthy doesn’t have to be time consuming. Check out these quick and healthy recipes from DeCA’s dietitian.

In this goal, set aside an afternoon for meal planning. Depending on your child’s age, he or she may be able to help with meal prep.

In 2017 my family is a responsible family. I once had a deployment goal of teaching my kids to be responsible for their own belongings. This meant hanging up their backpacks when they came home from school, putting their shoes by the front door and clearing their dishes when they finished eating breakfast. Rocket science, right? Teaching responsibility for personal items is no easy task. But with constant and consistent reminders, my kids will do it.

In this goal, set a nightly 7-minute timer where every family member picks up and puts away their personal items that may be scattered throughout the house.

In 2017 my family is a green family. Making smart environmental choices isn’t difficult. For my family, it means bringing reusable grocery bags to the commissary, turning off the lights when we leave a room and purchasing food items with less packaging. Many habits that are good for the environment are also good for your bank account.

In this goal, pick one non-negotiable green policy that your family will embrace in 2017.

In 2017 my family is a patriotic family. My children know that their father serves in the military. But do they know that their grandpa and uncle were both in the Army? Probably not. I want my children to value military service and to be grateful to veterans for their service and sacrifice.

In this goal, volunteer with a veterans organization or simply teach your children to tell a veteran “thank you” when they meet one.

In 2017 my family is a less-is-more family. My house is crowded and it’s not with people. It stuffed with stuff.

In this goal, commit to making thoughtful purchases in the new year. For example, stick to your shopping list at the store and wait 24 hours before buying an item online. Those late-night impulsive purchases are the worst.

In 2017 my family is a giving family. We know that it’s better to give than to receive, but how often do we give? Giving is on my radar during the high-demand holiday season but I forget about it during the rest of year.

In this goal, your family volunteers regularly with a nonprofit organization.

Pro-tip: You can make a donation to your favorite charity through the Combined Federal Campaign.

In 2017 my family is a frugal family. Spending less and saving more money is a constant goal of mine. Do you feel the same way? Like all habits, spending less isn’t going to happen naturally. I need to put forth the effort to examine our spending habits and make a spending plan. It isn’t fun but it’s so important.

In this goal, sit down with your spouse to make a spending plan for the next year. Break it down into weekly spending plans to help you achieve your financial goals in the new year.

Pro-tip: Sign up for MilitaryShoppers newsletter to have tips on saving money, military discounts and commissary specials delivered to your inbox.

In 2017 my family is a reading family. It’s only 20 minutes. But sometimes prioritizing those 20 minutes of nightly reading is more like 17 minutes of nagging to read and 3 minutes of actual reading.

In this goal, set a reminder on your phone to “alert” you when it’s time to read together before bed.

In 2017 my family is a “no” family. Does anyone else feel overwhelmed and over-scheduled? Our weekends are filled with birthday parties and military social events. I like the weekends to be a time to recharge our batteries, not drain them completely.

I have the control to do that and the power is found in one small word: no. I plan to practice saying “no thank you” a lot more in 2017.

In this goal, thoughtfully consider one event or activity that you can decline to attend every month.

Does your family make goals for the new year? What is your family goal for 2017?

11 Ways to Celebrate New Year’s Eve with Kids

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Sparkly dresses, champagne toasts at midnight and partying until the ball drops might be a thing of the past for parents. Unless you are ready to pay a hefty babysitter fee.

Luckily, you can still party like it’s 1999 with your kids! Well, maybe not quite that much fun, but pretty close.

Here are 11 ways to celebrate New Year’s Eve with your children.

Host a Kid-Friendly Soiree

Call up your other parent friends and invite them over for a fancy dress party. Serve finger foods like chicken nuggets and mini hot dogs, with champagne for the grown-ups and apple juice for the little ones.

Make Mocktails All Night Long

Older kids, and many adults, want to celebrate with fancy drinks but not the day-after results. Create fun mocktails with seltzer water, soda, fruit juice and garnishes. Make a mocktail of the hour and bust it out every 60 minutes. Check out these suggestions!

Celebrate a Different Midnight Ball Drop

The new year arrives at different times around the globe, which means that you don’t need to wait for midnight EST. Pick another location that matches your kiddo’s bedtime and roll with it! Live stream their celebrations, set the clocks ahead to match their time zone and blow your horns when the clock strikes midnight, over there. Kids get the fun of celebrating 2017, without staying up all night long.

Launch Sky Lanterns

Recreate the classic scene from the Disney movie “Tangled.” Sky lanterns symbolize hope and good wishes. They are perfect to ring in a new year! Have your kids write down their resolutions, wishes or prayers for 2017 and include them with the lantern. Then launch your lanterns as the sky is growing dark or just before bedtime. Make sure you are in a safe location and away from fire hazards. Check with your local fire department just in case.

Roast Marshmallows at a Christmas Tree Bonfire

What better way to get rid of a very dry Christmas tree than to have a bonfire! Gather up sticks and branches from the last winter storm or buy a few cords of wood. Invite your friends over to cook hot dogs and roast marshmallows over the flames. As a bonus, you’ll be nice and toasty while you enjoy some fresh air as 2016 ticks away. Just make sure you are following fire safety guidelines for your area!

Have an Epic Game Night

Bring out ALL the board games for one night of endless playtime. Make it a family affair or invite friends and neighbors over to play with you. Start with the classics and end with modern favorites or play games that you loved as a child. It’s a great chance to share memories and practice winning (and losing) with grace.

Invite Friends to Eat Around the World

New Year’s Eve at home is a great opportunity to try out all those Pinterest recipes you’ve been saving all year! Start early, with fun appetizers, and end with dessert just before bed. In between, try out recipes, tapas style, from around the world. Sushi from Japan, hummus and pita bread from the Middle East, bangers and mash from England, or poutine from Quebec.

To keep your New Year’s Eve menu kid-friendly, try serving Candy “Sushi” Fruit Roll Ups.

Go where your taste buds take you! If you’re really ambitious, you could attempt to coordinate a new food with when midnight arrives in that country or region.

If you’re not ambitious, you could order take-out from a variety of restaurants.

Snuggle on the Couch with a Classic Movie Night

Go with classic movies from the golden age of cinema or your favorite Disney movies as a kid or really any combination of movies you love. Snuggle up on the couch with popcorn, candy and pizza, then push play.

Celebrate Hannukah

The Jewish festival of lights ends on January 1, 2017. Celebrate hope and faith by lighting your own candles, menorah or sparklers. Play dreidel and eat delicious latkes or sufganiyot, a deep-fried doughnut filled with jelly or custard. Then initiate your children to the glory that is the “Hannukah Song” by Adam Sandler. Maybe edit out some of the more risque bits though.

Organize a Living Room Slumber Party

Set up sleeping bags, or make a tent out of blankets. Watch movies, play games and eat junk food until the kids fall asleep! Then you and your spouse can keep the party going, quietly, or can join your children in dreamland.

Make a Fancy First Breakfast

After all the celebrating the night before, refuel with a delicious breakfast on New Year’s Day! Go all out with pancakes, eggs, bacon, sausage, french toast and juice (or mimosas). While you eat, ask your family to talk about goals for the new year or remember their favorite parts of 2016.

How do you celebrate New Year’s Eve with your kids?

Are the Challenges of Military Life Worth It?

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At the end of the year, I find myself feeling a little introspective. This year has brought a lot of ups and downs, but perhaps the most monumental aspect of this year for my family is this:

we had our last military move.

Retirement is just around the corner. I’m not sure I even believe it yet. I grew up traveling the world with 2 active-duty parents. I took the oath of enlistment myself and then settled into the familiar life of a military spouse.

Every single moment of the first 40 years of my life has been influenced by the military community.

I have never known health care that wasn’t Tricare. Words like PX, PCS, TDY and ACUs are a part of my regular vocabulary. I have seen countless iterations of uniforms, moved from one side of the world to the other, and started and left more jobs than I can count.

As I think about this past year and imagine what a fast-approaching civilian future might look like, I have to wonder if the challenges we’ve faced as a military family have been worth it.

It’s a question not easily answered and so I did what any military spouse would do. I leaned on my military community and asked them: what are the biggest challenges of our particular lifestyle?

I empathized with their responses, and it wasn’t long before I noticed that almost every challenge listed was directly tied to the transient nature of our lifestyle. With that in mind, I sat down and gave some thought to this particular aspect of my life. Has moving 19 times been worth it?

Change Moving Is Never Easy

No matter your MOS or career field, this is one aspect of our military life that we all share in.

Often it’s a hassle, sometimes it’s an adventure, but it is always stressful.

Making sure you can find adequate housing, ensuring the school district is acceptable, finding a new job, setting up a new support system, picking a new primary care physician, figuring out which gate is open, the list goes on and on. I can honestly say that even though I have done all of these things many times, they never get any easier.

Moving is exciting when it’s just a set of orders and a daydream about the possibilities, but a nightmare when your entire life is packed into boxes, your spouse is headed out to God knows where for who knows how long, and you don’t even know where the closest grocery store is.

And then there is the separation. Separation from a spouse sent on deployment or TDY. Separation from extended family. Separation from the friends and co-workers who became your surrogate family when you first arrived at the new military installation.

As I sat reliving the stress and strain of military life, I could feel my blood pressure begin to climb.

And then it hit me. The lessons this life has taught me are invaluable.

Lessons Blessings in Disguise

If I had never traveled the world, I wouldn’t have lived in the beautiful, red brick townhome in England. Never had milk delivered in glass bottles right to our door. Never discovered that boiled Brussels sprouts are entirely unpalatable. I would never have played hide-and-seek in the small grove of olive and apricot trees on Crete. Never learned to swim in the Mediterranean.

If I hadn’t changed schools ever couple of years, I would have missed out on friendships that forever changed the way I saw the world and understood people. I would never have listened to a foreign friend tell me her secret dream was to one day become an American.

If I hadn’t said goodbye to countless friends, I would never have had the chance to say hello to so many others.

If I hadn’t waved goodbye to my spouse, I might never have learned that I am strong, smart and able to take care of our household on my own. And I would never have been able experience the sweet relief of watching him walk through the front door unharmed.

If I hadn’t agreed to quit a job to go where the Army sent us, I might never have learned how to make giant Christmas bows or develop a database or process a mortgage. I might never have learned how to create websites or work in social media.

I might never have learned that friendship, comradery, resiliency and a sense of duty will always trump adversity.

So has military life been worth it? For me, I think the answer is undeniably, yes.

How would you answer this question: Knowing what you know now, would you live your military life all over again?

How Tricare’s Pharmacy Provider Change Impacts Your Prescriptions

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On December 1, 2016, Tricare removed CVS, including CVS inside Target, from the Tricare retail pharmacy network and added Walgreens and Kroger.

That means that if you currently fill your prescription at CVS, you will need to move your prescription to another network pharmacy or pay full price for that medication.

You have options when it comes to filling a prescription. If you are one of the numerous beneficiaries that need to move your prescription, consider these options when switching.

Military Pharmacies

You can have your prescription filled at a military treatment facility. There is no change to military pharmacies at this time. Medication can to be filled at military treatment facilities free of charge. Call the closest one to you to see if they have the medication you need on hand.

Civilian Pharmacies

If you choose to fill prescriptions out in town, Tricare recommends Walmart, Rite Aid, Walgreens and Kroger as the largest pharmacies with the ability to obtain specialty medication. There are more than 58,000 retail pharmacies in network. This includes other national chains as well as pharmacies in grocery stores and independent pharmacies that you can fill your prescriptions at.

TRICARE Pharmacy Home Delivery

If you have maintenance medications, medicine that you take regularly, it is free to use the Tricare pharmacy home delivery system. You can order prescriptions online, over the phone or through the mail.

Even if you choose to have an initial prescription filled at a military treatment facility, you can still have the refills sent through Tricare home delivery.

A patient care advocate will contact your doctor if you need help getting your prescription transferred. Through Tricare pharmacy home delivery, you will receive a 90-day supply of your medication. Tricare recommends that you have 30 days of medicine before ordering to ensure there is plenty of time to get you properly put into the system and that the medication arrives before you run out.

Ordering your medication through Tricare pharmacy home delivery has many benefits including: automatic refills, free delivery, free generics and the option to talk to a pharmacist at any time.

Saving money is another benefit. As of February 2016, generic medications carry a $30 retail network co-payment, while home delivery does not have one at all. Formulary brand medications filled at retail network pharmacies have a $72 copay as opposed to $20 through Tricare home delivery. Non-formulary medications could cost you $150 at a retail network pharmacy, but would only be $49 through home delivery. These prices reflect a 3-month supply of medication.

Getting Reimbursed When Using Non-Network Pharmacies

If you choose to fill your prescription at a non-network pharmacy, you will be required to pay the entire price of the medication up-front. You then file a claim to get a reimbursement. The amount you get back however depends on your status and Tricare plan.

Active duty service members will receive complete reimbursement.

Dependents on Tricare Prime will get 50% of the cost share back.

Those on any other Tricare plans can expect to pay $24 or 20% of the cost, whichever one is higher, for formulary drugs. This is only after you have met your annual deductible.

If you are filling a non-formulary prescription, you will pay $50 or 20% of the cost, whichever is higher, after meeting your annual deductible.

Claims must be filed within one year of filling the prescription at a non-network pharmacy. Through Tricare’s website, you can access the Patient’s Request for Medial Payment (DD Form 2642), which you will need to fill out and mail in.

How to Transfer Your Prescription

Transferring your prescription is easy. You simply take your prescription bottles to a new pharmacy and have them call your previous pharmacy or you can call a new pharmacy and ask them to contact your old pharmacy.

Another option is to contact your doctor and ask them to send a prescription to your new pharmacy. You can also call Tricare home delivery (855-778-1417) to see if they carry your medication and then have it delivered to you.

Final Key Points to Know

There are no other changes to the Tricare Retail Network. If you do not currently fill your prescriptions at CVS, including CVS inside Target, then you do not need to change anything with your prescriptions. There is no change to Tricare copays.

There is no grace period. If you fill a prescription at CVS after December 1, 2016, you will pay for the entire medication and then need to fill out a reimbursement form.

To learn more about Tricare’s changes to the pharmacy provider list, click here.

Your Guide to Your Tricare Vision Benefits

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Did you know that Tricare offers vision benefits? If you have been avoiding having your eyes examined because you thought it would cost too much or you didn’t know what Tricare covered, this article is for you. We laid out the Tricare vision benefits for you.

Your Guide to Your Tricare Vision Benefits

What are your questions regarding Tricare vision benefits?

Tricare vision benefits vary based on your status: active duty, reservist, retired, military spouse or child of active duty, reservist or retired service member. Depending on the type of Tricare plan you have also makes a difference: Tricare Standard, Tricare Prime, Tricare Remote or Tricare for Life. Once you know which Tricare program you fall under, you can easily see what your options are.

What’s covered by Tricare?

Eye Exams

For the most part, Tricare covers routine eye exams. Those on active duty can have as many eye exams as needed to make sure they are fit to continue working.

The families of active duty service members can have an eye exam conducted once a year.

All other Tricare Prime beneficiaries are covered for an eye exam every 2 years. This includes retirees and their families. If however, the patient has diabetes, they can have their eyes examined once a year.

Tricare has a benefit called Well-child Care. Eye exams for children ages 3 to 6 are covered for an eye exam every 2 years at no cost, no matter which Tricare plan they fall under. These exams can also incorporate screening for amblyopia and strabismus.

Tricare Standard and Extra along with Tricare Prime and Tricare Prime Remote beneficiaries can have their eyes examined from any Tricare authorized provider. If they are a network provider, no referral is needed.

If you choose a non-network provider and you don’t get a referral from you PCM, you can find an optometrist in their point of service system. You will face a cost share however.

Glasses and Contacts

All active duty service members, including Guard and Reserve that are activated, are permitted one pair of standard issue glasses and one pair of sunglasses as well as one pair of glasses of their choice from a military hospital or clinic. These can also be ordered through the Navy Ophthalmic Support Training Activity Command. All non-activated Guard and Reserve members will have their glasses ordered through this system. If they become activated, they will receive the same glasses as active duty service members. Retired service members can also order their glasses through this system.

Tricare does not cover glasses or contacts for dependents except for those with specific diagnoses. This includes treating infantile glaucoma, corneal or scleral lenses for treatment of keratoconus and scleral lenses are also available to those that do not have normal tearing. Intraocular lenses, as well as contacts and glasses are available for those that suffer with loss of human lens function after intraocular surgery, ocular injury or congenital absence. Pinhole glasses are covered after surgery is performed for a detached retina.

Eye Surgery and Treatment

Tricare beneficiaries are covered for most eye surgeries as well as eye treatments. It does not cover everything however.

Tricare does not cover the following eye treatments:

  • refractive corneal surgery
  • orthokeratology
  • orthoptics vision therapy
  • eye exercises
  • eye therapy
  • epikeratophakia or intraocular lenses for correcting astigmatism
  • presbyopia

It also does not cover canaloplasty for the treatment of glaucoma or autologous serum eye drops.

Now that you know what is covered by the Tricare vision benefits, make an appointment to have your eyes examined. Make sure to schedule an appointment for your children as well.

To learn more about the Tricare vision benefits, visit the Tricare vision webpage.

How to Host a Friendsgiving

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Celebrating Thanksgiving with friends (in lieu of or in addition to family) has become a modern tradition. And while it hardly seems like a new idea for those of us who have spent countless holidays away from home, Friendsgiving is fast becoming a tradition in its own right.

In the same way the Pilgrims gave thanks for the community and feast shared by their Native American neighbors, so should we continue that tradition with those who act as our support system when we find ourselves far from home on Thanksgiving Day.

And in the same way our relationships with friends differ from those with family, Friendsgiving isn’t bound to just one way of doing things.

How to Host a Friendsgiving

Friendsgiving is about enjoying the bounty of friendship.

Here are 6 tips for hosting your own Friendsgiving.

Pick a Date that Works for You and Your Friends

Traditionally, Thanksgiving is the fourth Thursday in November, but feel free to adjust that date if it makes sense for you and your guests. If it’s too hard to make it happen during the week, consider the Saturday after Thanksgiving. Or if some of your besties are headed home for the holiday, consider the weekend before.

This celebration is about giving thanks for those in your life who help to lift you up and support you. And if gathering all those folks together can only happen on a Sunday afternoon, then so be it.

Decide on a Dinner Theme

When most of us think of Thanksgiving, we envision roasted turkey, mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie. And honestly, you can’t go wrong with this time-tested menu.

But if turkey is not your thing, then feel free to get creative.

Want to do a take-out only dinner?

Want everything to be bite-sized or finger foods?

Want to fire up the fondue pot?

Friendsgiving should include a good meal, but what that meal entails is up to you.

Invite Your Friends

Try to give your guests as much notice as possible so they can plan ahead.

One of the best parts of Friendsgiving is that everyone brings a dish to share, much like those who attended the first Thanksgiving.

Be sure your invitation includes the date, time and location. Be clear about what you want everyone to bring to this meal. Online invites like Evite can make it easier to keep track of who is bringing what. Lest you end up with a turkey, 10 bowls of mashed potatoes and no gravy.

If You’re the the Host, Work to Minimize Your Stress

As the host of a Friendsgiving, your goal is to make sure everyone feels welcomed and is well fed. Depending on the size of your invite list, you may need to buy or borrow extra place settings, serving plates and utensils, or even chairs. Try to think ahead to make sure you have everything you’ll need on the day of the event. You’ll minimize your stress and be able to relax and enjoy the day.

You should also plan to provide the main course for the meal. If you’re going the traditional route, that means the turkey. If roasting an entire bird scares you, consider just a turkey breast or two. You may want to order it from the deli at your local grocery store.

Friendsgiving is about enjoying the bounty of friendship, not about slaving in the kitchen.

If basting the bird until it’s golden brown is your thing, then have at it. If you’re better at eating turkey than cooking it, then do what works for you.

Oh, and make sure you have extra foil, plastic wrap, paper plates, and storage/bags containers so you can send folks home with leftovers when the meal is done.

If You’re the Guest, Offer to Help

As an invited guest at a Friendsgiving celebration, make sure you take the time to RSVP. Even if you can’t attend, let your host know so they don’t plan for 10 only to have 2 show up.

If you do plan on attending, make sure you check with the host to find out what you can bring or how you can help. A bottle of wine  is also a great host/hostess gift. Plus, a little bit of wine or a good craft beer never goes unappreciated among friends.

When the meal is done, don’t be a lump. Help your host clean up so they can enjoy the post-turkey celebration with you.

Count Your Blessings

Eat, drink, be merry, and take a moment to really appreciate the amazing friends you have in your life. Pictures are a given, so consider tasking someone with capturing photos of the day.

The tradition of sharing what you are thankful is a wonderful idea for dinner conversation starters. And no Friendsgiving meal would be complete without a toast to your friendship and the blessings those connections give you.

Have you ever hosted a Friendsgiving for Thanksgiving? Share your story on the MilitaryShoppers Facebook page.

How to Find a Work From Home Job

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The never-ending cycle of hunting for a new job is a struggle we military spouses know all too well. Many spouses turn to work from home opportunities as a way to remain employed despite moving every 3 years.

How to Find a Work From Home Job

Do you work from home? How did you find your work from home job?

But sometimes finding a work from home job is enough to make you question your sanity.

Do steady, dependable and legitimate work from home opportunities exist?

Of course they do!

Check out this list of work from home resources and then get to work!

Work from Home Job Boards

Telecommuting and remote work are no longer the oddball, sketchy positions they used to be. Tons of reputable companies offer work from home positions in areas like communications, customer service and project management. There are lots of job boards out there. Here are a few with good reputations:

  1. Flexjobs.com. There is a fee for access to the site ($50 per year, with options of quarterly or monthly subscriptions), but this is one of the top work from home job boards out there. Search for freelance and remote opportunities listed by hundreds of well-known companies.
  2. VirtualVocations.com. This site requires an annual fee, but offers a great list of remote work opportunities. Jobs include computer and data entry work, to writing, marketing and more.
  3. Indeed.com. Free to use, just put “Remote” in the location search field to find all kinds of telecommute and remote positions. You can even set up keyword alerts so you don’t have to visit the site every day.

Work from Home Jobs Where You Are the Boss

Starting your own business might be the best work from home opportunity out there, but it does require you to get smart on business laws and regulations. State, county and even city laws can impact the kinds of businesses you can run from home. They also regulate taxes. If you live on-post or overseas, additional rules may apply, so check with your housing office.

  1. Get Crafty. If you’re a master with a glue gun, crochet hook or paintbrush, consider turning your hobby into a great home-based business. Sites like Etsy.com, Artfire.com and Amazon Handmade take all hassle of building an e-commerce website. Good pictures are essential, so if you can’t take them, hire a photographer who can.
  2. Cottage Industries. Many states have cottage industry laws that are designed to help nurture budding home-based businesses. If you can bake like a master or if you grow tomatoes like there’s no tomorrow, consider selling your wares and produce at local farmers markets. Each state (and sometimes county) has different rules, so be sure to do your research.
  3. In-Home Child Care. In-home child care can be a great way to earn an income while helping other military families. Just like other businesses, check your state, county, city and military installation rules for running this kind of business for children.
  4. Direct Sales. If you love to meet new people and try out great products, direct sales might be the job for you. Choose from a vast array of products – everything from make-up and home goods to food and wine – and work as much or as little as you like. Some direct sales companies will even ship to FPO/APO boxes, though specific regulations and rules apply, so make sure you check with the company you are interested in and your installation. The Direct Selling Association website is a great place to start.

Freelance Jobs for Military Spouses

  1. MadSkills.com. A newly launched military spouse-owned business, MadSkills is out to help connect military spouses with companies who need their mad skills. If you’re a whiz at building websites, graphic design, project management, writing, and more, then check them out. It’s free to create a profile.
  2. Other Freelance Communities. It can take some time to build up a reputation to keep you busy all the time, but there are many freelance communities offering a wide range of freelance opportunities. Check out Freelancer.com, Guru.com and UpWork.com. Free accounts are available, but paying the small upgrade fee can provide greater visibility of your profile and open up a greater field of work. Craigslist can also be a good resource for freelance work, just do your due diligence before accepting any work listed there.
  3. Millie.com, which is managed and run by veterans and military spouses, hires “Scouts.” Scout opportunities are open to active duty, Gold Star spouses or newly retired military spouses who are willing to use their experience PCSing, buying and renting homes, deployments, community involvement and volunteering to help military families transition into new locations. This could include walking through potential rentals or letting a handyman in to do some repairs on a service member’s house.

Do you work from home? How did you find your work from home job?

Why I Need a New Best Friend at Every Duty Station

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“It takes a village to raise a child.”

While I wholeheartedly agree with that statement, I also think that we can just drop the whole “to raise a child” bit. For me, it just takes a village. By village, I mean friends. Especially a best friend.

Why I Need a New Best Friend at Every Duty Station

Finding a new best friend at every duty station is tough, but it’s so worth it!

Yes, we all have that one best best friend. The guy or gal who knows all of your secrets since the beginning of time. Who has been with you through the best and worst of times.

As military spouses, we can also benefit from having a best friend at each duty station.

It’s so comforting to have someone that gets you. When your spouse is gone or working late, it’s nice to have someone to explore your new location with. It’s great for trying out all those cutesy cafes, wandering around historic districts and even watching that rom-com for the millionth time.

Finding that best friend over and over and over again is just plain hard though!

First you have to put yourself out there in a serious way. It means meeting the neighbors, mingling with other military spouses in the new unit and trying out new clubs or groups.

Then you have to follow-up. Send texts, become Facebook friends or send out smoke signals. Sometimes, even that isn’t enough.

After you find a friend, then begins the vetting process to determine best friend potential. You need to dig into shared interests, common agreements about life and a joint love of wacky jokes (or whatever your thing might be).

If it’s not a good match, you’re stuck starting over again!

Sometimes, finding a new best friend can seem like climbing Everest: worthwhile, but a battle to accomplish. Just doing this a few times in a lifetime is unbelievably hard. Finding a new best friend every 3 years, or less, can seem nearly insurmountable! It’s almost enough to want to give up on the whole idea of a bestie and just stick to casual acquaintances.

You still have people to hang with, but without all the stress of being joined at the hip. Or having to “replace” your friend when one of you moves.

It’s tough finding a new best friend, yes, but it is so worth it!

Your new best friend could be where you least expect. I’ve found best friends while running, in my spouse’s office and through friends. She or he could be the person right across the street!

Part of finding a new best friend is going to involve putting yourself out there, yes. So many friend-finding opportunities are just part of the military life!

Mandatory fun days, pre-deployment briefs and living on-base are all chances to bump into someone who could be your PERSON.

Before you know it, you are swapping salty military spouse stories, sharing recipes and are inseparable.

There are also other great ways to find your next best friend. Check out a local fitness meet-up, like Stroller Warriors or a cross-fit box.

If you are religious, seek out a church, temple or Bible study in your neck of the woods.

When you come with youngsters, find a preschool support group like MOPS or a gym with a child care co-op program.

For those heading to work, your new pal could be your desk mate or office neighbor.

No matter how you found your new best friend, having one is important.

When the going gets tough, military spouses need someone to rely on. With our spouses gone often, or mostly in-and-out, a best friend becomes the person I rely on.

When I’m sick, she brings me medicine or chicken soup or takes the kids for the afternoon. We swap date night child care duties or have weekly dinner/play dates when the guys are gone. If the car breaks down, I know I have someone to call from the mechanic. I always have a dinner partner when cookie dough a la tube is on the menu too.

It’s why I need to have a best friend at every duty station.

I need a village to help get me through the tough times and to celebrate the best times. My best friends, no matter where I am or where they are, have helped me to survive and thrive in this military life.

How did you find your best friend at your current duty station?

What I Do When I’m Feeling Lost and Alone

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Silent tears ran down my cheeks. I tried to look straight ahead and listen politely, but my mind was racing with a million questions.

The nurse turned to me and said “sweetie, are you OK?”

I nodded. I wasn’t OK. I wasn’t fine. Inside I was freaking out. Outside I was trying hard to appear calm.

“How often do I need to change the wound dressing?” I asked the nurse.

I was sitting in a surgeon’s outpatient room. I had a minor surgery to remove a cyst near my collarbone. As part of my follow-up care for proper healing and to prevent infection, I needed to have the wound dressing changed twice a day.

“Can I do it myself?” I asked the nurse.

“Of course not. Just ask your husband to do it.” she said.

My husband, of course. That would be the logical solution. But my husband wasn’t at home and wouldn’t be at home that night. He was gone for a week. A military assignment that he couldn’t miss and now I felt lost and alone.

“In that case, ask your mom or your sister,” the nurse said.

I shook my head.

“A close friend?” she offered.

Who in my neighborhood would be the person that I could ask to change the dressings for my minor wound? See even as I type this question, it seems like such a minor thing. But to me at that moment it wasn’t a minor thing.

It was a huge inconvenience. I’m a private person and now I needed to tell an acquaintance that I had a cyst on my collarbone and oh, by the way, can you change my dressings for it?

So embarrassing.

It was a level of friendship that I wasn’t emotionally prepared to climb into with one of my neighbors when I stepped into the surgeon’s office that morning.

I felt so alone. Really truly alone.

Have you ever felt lonely in military life? Do you ever feel so alone even though you are surrounded by the military spouse community?

What I Do When I'm Feeling Lost and Alone

What do you do when you feeling lost and alone?

Feeling lonely is normal. Feeling a little lost and feeling so alone happens to even the most outgoing military spouses. It happens to the perky and positive ones too.

It’s an emotion that can slap you across the face when you realize that you need someone to help you. That’s when I feel alone. I feel alone even though I know I can call any other military spouses in my social circle at any time.

But I know I can’t feel alone for too long. Here’s what I do when I’m feeling alone in military life.

I allow myself to be humble.

In the case of the cyst removal post-surgery care, I need physical help. It wasn’t a pleasant task. It wasn’t like asking a friend out for lunch or coffee. It was a basic medical care kind of request. And there was nothing that this person was going to get out of helping me. No benefit whatsoever.

It’s humbling to ask for help in these kinds of circumstances. You realize all the things that you do independently and take for granted. Depending on the kindness of strangers (even if they are also military spouses) can be a tough pill to swallow.

But in these moments, I allow myself to be humble. I remind myself that it’s perfectly normal to ask for help. In fact, the nurse told me I needed this help. I couldn’t do it myself. I couldn’t be Wonder Woman. I couldn’t be amazingly-awesome-independent military spouse.

In this case, I needed to be a humble, swallow-your-pride military spouse.

I allow myself to forgive.

My immediate reaction to these types of situations is anger toward my husband. Stupid Navy. Stupid deployment. Of course he isn’t here to help me. Of course not. It starts with a seed of frustration, branches off into anger and then flowers with bitter fruit of resentment.

Being mad at my husband for a situation that he can’t control doesn’t bring me any closer to a solution. My anger doesn’t change the fact that I need help and I feel alone.

During these times of loneliness, I allow myself to forgive my husband. Clearly it’s not his mistake. It’s not his error. But I need to tell myself that I forgive him for being gone during this time. Forgiveness brings me a step closer to acceptance. Once I have acceptance that I can’t change his deployment I can focus on what I can control in this situation.

I allow myself to be vulnerable.

When I reflect on periods of loneliness in my life, I find that my feelings of being alone were related to my desire to appear strong instead of weak to others.

I didn’t want others to know that I had a cyst. I didn’t want others to know that I needed help. I worried about what others would think of me instead of allowing myself to be me. I wasn’t allowing myself to be vulnerable.

Being vulnerable is part of friendship. If you don’t allow yourself to be vulnerable, your friendship won’t deepen. Trust can’t happen without secrets. Empathy can’t happen without mistakes. Loyalty can’t happen without alliances.

When I allow myself to be vulnerable with a potential friend I am letting this person know that I value her as a friend. I’m ready to trust her with my personal baggage. I’m ready to let her in.

I’m ready to ask her to change my wound dressing.

Finally I don’t feel so alone anymore.

Do you ever feel lonely in military life? What do you do in those moments when you feel so alone? Tell us in the comments section.