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When the Promotion Doesn’t Come

09/13/2017 By Veronica Jorden

There are to-do lists, grocery lists, PCS packing lists, duty station bucket lists and holiday wish lists.

But there is a single list that can turn an ordinary day into a reason to celebrate or a reason to be discouraged — The promotion list.

The hours spent in preparation for a board, the extra PT to improve to max out points, even the completion of college classes, have all been done in an effort to jump up a rung on the military rank ladder.

And when that day comes there are rounds of congratulations, celebratory dinners and toasts to the newly promotable. Social media posts proclaim the good news, but only for those selected.

What about when the promotion doesn’t come?

Dealing with the disappointment isn’t easy. In fact, with so much vested in advancement, not seeing your service member get the promotion you know they deserve can be downright depressing. But like so many other things in life, the right perspective can help take away the sting.

When the Military Promotion Doesn't Come

Enduring these moments of disappointment can strengthen your marriage.

Go Ahead and Vent

Feelings of disappointment, frustration and anger are normal and natural. Promotions are a big deal and feeling like your service member got passed over is never a pleasant feeling.

Sometimes you just need to let it out. Disappointment internalized can become bitterness and resentment, 2 emotions that are contrary to a military team environment.

It’s OK to express those feelings, just be cognizant of where and to whom you share them with. Avoid long rants on social media or outbursts in front of those who were selected.

If you can, find something constructive to do with all that negative energy. Clean your house, go for a run, bake up a storm, do whatever will help to take your mind off things for a while. Give yourself time to process all of those feelings, but then make sure you focus on something else.

Fixating on disappointment isn’t healthy. If you feel like your service member isn’t handling it well or dwells on those negative feelings for too long, make sure you reach out for help. Chaplains are a good place to start, but all military installations have mental health services readily available for service members and their families.

Be a Support System

Enduring these moments of disappointment can strengthen your relationship.

I can’t tell you how many times my spouse or other service members were sure to get a promotion, only to find their names missing from the list. Military services promote for positions they need to fill and sometimes the needs for one MOS or specialty is higher than another.

Promotions can sometimes feel quite arbitrary, and even deserving service members don’t get selected.

A conciliatory night out or a special dinner to show them how much you appreciate them might be in order. Just try to keep it lighthearted and positive. Remind them of all of the great things they have accomplished thus far.

Congratulate Those Who Made the List

Be graceful and congratulate those who did get selected for promotion. Our community is too small to let promotions affect our friendships and relationships. And next time, it might be you receiving the congratulations while someone else is left with the disappointment.

Remember that lack of promotion is not a demotion.

With so much energy focused on getting promoted, sometimes it’s easy to forget that just because you didn’t get promoted doesn’t mean that his or her military career is over. There are still opportunities for training that could see an increase in pay and potentially make selection for promotion the next time a shoo-in.

Start Preparing for Next Time

While there’s not a ton a military spouse can do to help a service member prepare for next time, try to be considerate and encouraging.

Volunteer to help quiz them for the board.

Be understanding when they stay an extra 30 minutes at the gym or sign up for training that looks good on their official record.

And most importantly, encourage them to keep at it.

How have you handled the disappointment when your spouse was not selected for promotion? Tell us about it in the comments section.

Facing the Fear of Military Life

09/11/2017 By Meg Flanagan

I can pinpoint the exact moment that it all hit me. All of the fear and anxiety and uncertainty that is military life hit me like a ton of bricks.

Facing the Fear of Military Life

Sometimes the fear of military life gets to be a little much.

I didn’t know them more than a casual, run-into-them-socially (sometimes) kind of way. But I knew them. We crossed paths. And it happened to them.

The knock on the door.

The condolences from a “grateful nation.”

Suddenly, I was terrified. I could easily – too easily – picture myself in her shoes. It literally brought me to my knees.

I couldn’t seem to shake the sadness for weeks. I couldn’t move past my fears. I knew I had some decisions to make. I needed to choose whether I wanted to continue to live in a place of unending fear or find a different path.

7 Tips for Facing and Fighting the Fear of Military Life

1. Find an Outlet

What do you love to do? What makes you happy? Whatever that thing or activity is, go do it. For me, I run. I started running right around the same time that I became afraid of the “what-ifs” of military life.

On a bad deployment day or when we are waiting on PCS orders to hit, I run. When I run I have control, something that escapes me as a military spouse. When I come back after a few hard miles, it seems a little bit easier to handle the unknowns.

My friends do different things. Some craft, making beautiful decor or vinyl creations. Others lift weights or go to spin class. Still others dive deep into creative entrepreneurship, running amazing businesses in photography, art or writing.

We all have something that makes us happy. Go find yours!

2. Trust Your Spouse

This one is hard, especially when we live in Whatifville. But truly, trusting my spouse has released a lot of tension. I know that he has trained and prepared for months, if not years, for exactly these situations. I know he understands his job and won’t take unnecessary risks.

Keeping all of this in mind when he deploys or trains or goes TAD helps to combat my fears.

3. Understand the Process

When an Osprey went down in August, fear once again gripped my heart. Our friends were connected to that float. We know a good group of Osprey pilots. Again, the uncertainty took over.

But once I really understood the how’s and why’s of notification and media releases, I felt so much better.

Now, I know that the command and public affairs follow strict protocols to ensure utmost respect for affected military families and units. I truly inhabit the phrase: “No news is good news.” I understand that the system needs to work.

4. Disconnect

Sometimes, it all gets to be a little much. Especially for my family, these last few months have been rough. We’ve had connections to several of the devastating accidents the military has experienced this year. We live in the communities impacted.

It all got to me. The constant Facebook news feed posts, the 24-hour news cycle and the never-ending updates that weren’t really updates.

So I stopped.

I stopped reading Facebook obsessively. Instead, I logged on to work on my professional Facebook page and hopped back off. I no longer watch the news or check my news apps. I just can’t anymore.

5. Be Kind to Yourself

When you struggle over something, whether it is not knowing where you are moving next or deep fear about the scarier unknowns, it is OK. It’s OK to be afraid.

Acknowledge your fears. Admit, out loud or in writing, what exactly is bothering you and why. It’s hard to do this, to really unpack a deep fear and work through it.

So be kind.

When you are afraid, seek comfort from a friend, a religious leader or a military family life counselor. Ask for help, because your military community is here for you.

Take some time to pamper yourself. Take a hot bath, get a pedicure, read a book, watch a comforting movie or retreat to your bed. Whatever makes you feel secure and loved, go do it. I enjoy reading a trashy magazine and sipping hot cocoa (or wine), pulling back from the world for a little while. It gives me the head space I need to process my feelings.

6. Help Someone

Our friends and neighbors lost a dear friend in the crash off Australia. There isn’t much to be said that can heal that hurt.

But I can certainly bring them dinner. It’s one less thing to think about while they grieve. I can watch their children so that they can assist with final arrangements. I can offer a hug and a shoulder to cry on. I can empathize because I understand that pit in the stomach feeling.

If you are afraid or live somewhere that is hurting, reach out. Offer to help in any way you can. Redirecting your fears and worries into actions for others can help you to process.

7. Choosing a Different Path

When I was afraid, brought to my knees with fear and grief and worry, I decided to go a different way. I chose to not live in that dark place.

I went for a run to the ocean and cried just a little bit more. Then I invited friends over for dinner because I knew we would be stronger together.

Together, as a community, we can combat the fears and unknowns of military life.

How do you combat the fears of military life? Share your tips and strategies in the comments section.

My Thoughts on the Global War on Terror Memorial

09/08/2017 By Michelle Volkmann

President Donald Trump recently signed a bill approving the construction of a national memorial, the Global War on Terror Memorial, which will honor those who have fought and died in Iraq and Afghanistan since 2001.

The bill to establish the national memorial was sponsored by Sens. Joni Ernst, R-Iowa, an Army veteran of the Iraq War, and Joe Manchin, D-West Virginia in the Senate.

Reps. Mike Gallagher, R-Wisconsin, and Seth Moulton, D-Massachusetts were the bill’s sponsors on the House side. Both are Marine Corps veterans of the Iraq War.

My Thoughts About the Global War on Terror Memorial

The Global War on Terror Memorial Foundation hopes to unveil its memorial by 2024. 

This bill does not select a location for the Global War on Terror Memorial, but it authorizes its site as somewhere on “federal land in the District of Columbia.” Organizers are hoping for a spot on the National Mall.

The memorial will be 100% privately funded through donations raised by the Global War on Terror Memorial Foundation. The estimated cost of construction is $40 million.

What will the Global War on Terror Memorial look like?

Now that the memorial has been approved by Congress and the president, the memorial’s organizers are working on its design. So far, they have announced that the memorial will include 6 themes: endurance, sacrifice, all-volunteer, global, multicultural and unfinished.

My Thoughts About the 6 Themes for the Global War on Terror Memorial

Endurance. Endurance is National Guard soldiers who served 18 months in Iraq and sometimes stayed longer because their deployment was extended for a second time.

Endurance is Marines who served back-to-back deployments, hopping between Iraq and Afghanistan.

Endurance is military spouses who lose track of how many times their spouse has left and returned home.

Endurance takes strength, determination and a faith in the fight.

Sacrifice. More than 7,000 service members have died in the Global War on Terror and more than 52,000 have been wounded. I don’t know how you show the sacrifice on these Americans in a memorial.

In the military community, we all know at least one name. A name that is forever etched in our hearts and our minds. We remember that name along with a date on the calendar. It’s the day of their death. The day that we solemnly remember their life and their sacrifice.

All-Volunteer. More than 2.5 million Americans are estimated to have been deployed in support of the Global War on Terror. Some of these service members were already in the military in 2001. Many were not.

These service members were children when the 9/11 attacks happened. They saw the news on television when they were 10, 12 or 14 years old. Those images stuck with them so that when they turned 18 years old, these men and women raised their right hands and took an oath to serve and protect our nation.

Global. This war has taken our service members to places that I couldn’t pick out on a map before 2001. We know about Iraq and Afghanistan, but what about Kenya, Djibouti and Kuwait?

Multicultural. The diversity of today’s all-volunteer Armed Forces makes my heart swell with pride. As a military spouse, I’m humbled when I meet service members from different races, cultures and economic backgrounds. They are American Indians from Oklahoma, men from the Philippines and women from Miami.

Unfinished. Organizers said the “unfinished” theme has 2 meanings.

First, it reminds us that this ongoing war is still taking place around the globe. The second reason points to the continued personal conflicts of our veterans when they return home.

I couldn’t have said it better myself. There is no end in sight for this war at home and around the world.

The Global War on Terror Memorial Foundation hopes to unveil its memorial by 2024. You can make a donation by visiting the foundation’s website.

What are your thoughts on the Global War on Terror Memorial?

15 Military Discounts for a Great School Year

09/06/2017 By Michelle Volkmann

The back-to-school ritual of buying school supplies, backpacks, lunch boxes, sneakers and clothing can take a bite out of your budget. I know I had sticker shock when buying school supplies for my 2 children. The total cost was insane.

And we still needed to buy new tennis shoes for both of them. I pray that they don’t grow out of their shoes before Halloween.

Military Discounts for a Great School Year

We’ve compiled a list of military discounts to help your child have a great school year.

The costs of getting your kids back to school is no joke. Once school starts, the expenses don’t end. There are still the after-school activities and possibly hiring a tutor to help get your student through chemistry or French.

You can reduce these growing expenses by shopping at stores that offer a military discount. We’ve compiled a list of military discounts to help your child have a great school year.

15 Military Discounts for a Great School Year

Dressing for Success

Old Navy. If you are looking to buy school uniforms (or comfortable school clothes) for your military child, be sure to stop by Old Navy and take advantage of their 10% military discount. This offer is valid for active duty, retired, reserve and military spouses. You must present your military ID card at the time of purchase at the store. This discount is not available for online purchases.

Nike. Nike offers a 10% military discount on Nike.com as well as at Nike, Converse and Hurley stores.

Foot Locker. Foot Locker offers a 20% military discount.

Finish Line. Finish Line has a 20% military discount.

Payless. This shoe store offers a 10% military discount.

Stride Rite. If you have preschoolers, don’t forget to ask about Stride Rite’s 10% military discount.

Adidas Shoes. Adidas Shoes offers a 10% military discount.

Under Armour. Under Armour offers a 10% discount to active duty and veterans on their website and in all Under Armour stores. Online purchases are verified through ID.ME.

Abercrombie & Fitch. The military discount at this store may be 10% or 15%, depending on the location.

Aeropostale. This clothing store offers a military discount of either 10% or 20% depending on the location.

American Eagle Outfitters. American Eagle Outfitters has a 10% to 15% military discount that is available, at the manager’s discretion.

Claire’s. They have a 20% military discount on accessories and jewelry.

Kohl’s. Kohl’s offers a 15% military discount at select stores nationwide.

Gap. The Gap offers a 10% discount on the first of every month. It is available in store only.

When Your Child Needs Help on His Homework

Tutor.com. Active duty service members and their dependents (grades K-12) can receive free tutoring and homework help through Tutor.com. Tutor.com says that “Students can get personalized help in 40 Math, Science, Social Studies, English and World Language subjects, including Algebra, Statistics, Biology, Essay Writing, Spanish, German and French.”

Tutors are also available to help students prepare for the SAT and ACT.

Students can connect with tutors online through their smart phones and tablets 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The service is available every day except on January 1, Thanksgiving and December 25.

This free service is funded by the Department of Defense (DoD) MWR Library Program, the DoD Navy General Library Program, the DoD Voluntary Education Program and Coast Guard Mutual Assistance.

Hire a military spouse. Let’s say your wife is the math whiz in your house, but she’s away for training when your teenager is asking you questions about his geometry homework. Consider hiring a military spouse to temporarily or occasionally tutor your child.

Many military spouses have degrees in education and because of various circumstances they aren’t working full-time. They may be interested in spending 5 hours a week teaching your military child. This can be an affordable option for face-to-face tutoring for military families.

Preparing for College Testing

eKnowledge. Is your military child dreading the ACT or SAT test? Consider enrolling her in eKnowledge’s SAT and ACT College Test Preparation Programs. This interactive, multimedia and online course is available to military dependents for free.

When You’re Feeling the Pinch of Private Tuition

Many private schools offer a military discount, but you need to ask for it. Before you pay the enrollment fees, be sure to speak with a school administrator. Parents should be ready to explain their situation (active duty family, one income) and then ask directly if there’s a possibility of a discount.

Did we miss any great military discounts for this list? Please tell us in the comments section.

Tips for Teaching Your Kids While Shopping at the Commissary

09/04/2017 By Meg Flanagan

After school, the race is on! Will you be able to get everything in and get your groceries before bedtime?

When you follow a few pro tips at the commissary, you can build a little bit of learning into your shopping trip. Best of all? You can work on skills for all ages and stages!

How to Make Grocery Shopping at Your Commissary a Fun and Educational Experience for Your Child

When Your Child Is a Toddler

Children at this age are learning so much about their world. Everything is new, fun and exciting.

Color hunt: Challenge your child to find certain colors in each aisle, sort of like I Spy. Say: “I’m looking for something yellow.” Then, work together to find it.

The produce aisle is a great place to play this game. Let your child pick their favorite color, then find fruit and veggies to match. Select a few colors to build a produce rainbow that’s 100% good enough to eat.

Old MacDonald: There are many cartoon characters and pictures all over the grocery store. Work together to build a farm or zoo, full of fun animals. Challenge your child to make the sound of each animal you find.

Fruity shapes: In the produce aisle, use the time to teach your child shapes. Look for circles (oranges, tomatoes, blueberries), triangles (carrots), ovals (lemons, avocados, potatoes), squares (boxes of salad greens) and any other shape you can think of.

When Your Child Is in Preschool

At this age, children are learning numbers, patterns, letters and may even be starting to understand early reading skills.

Commissary navigators: Have your child sing out the aisle number and then tell you what is located there. For example: “Aisle 5 has cereal and breakfast things.” Challenge your child to remember what was in other aisles, the order you went in or which aisle you started in. This helps build number sequencing, memory skills and navigational techniques.

Little chef: Let your child pick a dish to make and help her find a recipe at home. Something simple, like salads, sandwiches or tacos, works well.

Together, make a visual list of the items she needs. Then let your child choose the ingredients at the commissary. As she goes through the store, have her write down which aisle she found each item in.

At home, work together to assemble her dish. This builds healthy eating habits, sequencing skills, memory and early reading abilities.

On the prowl: Play the alphabet game! As you walk through the store, ask your child to find things. For older children, you could ask them to actually get items you need off the shelves. All preschoolers can be on the look out for shapes, colors, letters and numbers.

To up the ante, make an erasable checklist with all the letters of the alphabet, the core (rainbow) colors, basic shapes and number 0-9. As your child finds each thing, he can mark it. If he can find everything, reward him with a healthy treat.

When Your Child Is in the Primary Grades (K-2)

Children in these grades are learning sight words and basic addition and subtraction.

Let’s make 10: Adding to 10 is a core skill in the early grades. This game works well with individual produce, like apples, or anything you buy multiples of, like yogurt.

Say:

“Let’s make 10! I put 4 in the cart. How many more do we need to get to 10?”

Then help your child (carefully) add the item to the cart, counting until you reach 10 (or any other target number). This builds numeracy skills and helps to move math out of the classroom.

Word search: Bring your child’s sight word list to the store. Slip it into a protector sheet so that he can mark off words and letters.

As you go through the aisles, have him look for the letters in each word, one word at a time. As he gets better at reading, have him try to find whole words on packaging and signs. This boosts all literacy skills.

Meal prep: Work with your child to plan a whole meal. Something simple, like a picnic lunch or pasta with sauce, would be perfect. Write a list with all the ingredients. Use a quick picture for any new words. Then work together to find all the items. This builds literacy, sequencing and organizational skills.

Which is less: Pick 2 similar items with different prices. A good example would be a box of cereal that costs $2.50 and one that costs $3.50. Point to the dollar amount ($2 and $3). Ask your child: “Which is less?” If she needs help, hold up your fingers or ask her to hold up hers. You could also ask: “Would you rather have 2 cookies or 3 cookies?” This activity boosts number skills, like comparing and sequencing, as well as logical thinking.

When Your Child Is an Upper Elementary (3-6) Student

Students in these grades have mastered essential reading and math skills. They can move on to bigger things!

Pound for pound: In the produce section, have your child use the scale to weigh your produce for the week. After weighing, ask your child to estimate or actually calculate how much each type of produce will cost.

This activity reinforces weights and measures, as well as building addition, estimation and multiplication skills.

How much left: Give your child a lunch or snack “budget.” Tell them that this amount has to see her through the whole week for lunches at school or snacks everywhere.

For the first few weeks, assist them in making smart choices. Show her how to deduct purchased items from her starting budget.

Then, let her fly free! This gives children the opportunity to make smart food choices and feel more in control of their environment. Plus, she is learning good budgeting techniques and how to balance accounts.

If you feel extra generous, let her know that any “extra” can go into a savings account or be used for a special purchase.

Read the store: Hand your child the list. Walking together, he should read the list to you, then locate the item on the shelf and read you the label. For items that are similar, he should read the whole label to check that it’s what you want. Once you have confirmed the selection, it goes into the cart. This builds skills with unfamiliar words, teaches teamwork and boosts organizational skills.

When Your Child Is a Middle and High School Student

These children can read independently and are moving on to harder math concepts. High school students will soon be spreading their wings in the real world! Now is the time to reinforce smart shopping habits and budgeting skills.

Solo act: Give your child a budget and a list that covers several meals throughout the week. You could make her responsible for finding all the ingredients for dinners, for example, and she has to keep costs at or under $45. Then let her go. You continue shopping with your list as usual. Then meet up right before the registers to confirm final purchases. Let your child check out on her own too. This builds independence, problem-solving, math and budgeting skills.

Meal planner: As children get older, they also need to boost their life skills. Cooking is essential to surviving in the real world, and now is a great age to teach it.

Make your child responsible for meal planning. Start with one meal per week and increase the load from there. Give him a budget. Invite him to use coupons, get a shopping club card and use your cookbooks.

Then he needs to shop for the ingredients while staying under budget. Finally, he should cook and serve the meal. Doing this will give him a better understanding of food prices, budgeting, cooking for a crowd and reading recipes.

How do you build teachable moments into your commissary trips? Tell us your best strategies in the comments!

When Your Marriage and His Military Duty Collide

09/01/2017 By Veronica Jorden

His phone buzzes and I check the clock. It’s 2:13 a.m. on Saturday and I know what’s about to happen.

Someone in his company needs him.

It could be any of a litany of issues ranging from an injury to a Red Cross message to a mandatory urinalysis.

Without fail, he shakes off any remaining dregs of sleep and shuffles down the stairs. The faint glow of the kitchen light filters up through the dark and I hear him flip on the coffee pot.

It means he’ll work another day on just a couple of hours of sleep.

It means tomorrow he’ll either be on post dealing with the aftermath or sleeping, trying to recover.

It means I’ll spend another Saturday, hanging out by myself.

Does My Spouse Loves the Military More Than Me?

Service members take an oath to serve and protect our country. Can they also be committed to their marriages?

It’s hard, sometimes, not to be resentful. It’s not like he plans for these things to happen. Call it fate, Murphy’s law or just bad luck, when the Army calls, he answers, regardless of what we have planned.

Though I grew up in a military family, and learned from an early age that duty and service were the cornerstones of being a military family, as a young military spouse, I struggled not to feel like I was competing for his attention.

Why did it feel like he was always the one volunteering (or being volun-told) to do things?

Why was his unit, the one to deploy?

Why was it our phone that always rang in the middle of the night?

Why couldn’t he just say “no?”

In many ways, it felt like the Army was the other woman. All she had to do was ring him up and he went running to do her bidding. No matter what time of day. No matter what I might have needed him for.

I was left to care for our 3 kids, manage our house and work full-time. I was tired, cranky, and truth be told, a little lonely.

His dedication and obligation to the Army almost cost us our marriage.

In those dark days, I was convinced we would never make it. It took almost a year of hard work and counseling for us to find our way back. It took a willingness for me to accept his role as a service member and a similar willingness on his part to make sure that I didn’t feel neglected or taken for granted.

Our relationship had suffered, not because I was being selfish, and not because he was dedicated. It suffered because we had failed to consider each other in our daily struggles.

We both got so wrapped up in surviving our days that we forgot to be the support the other one needed.

When relationships get hard, it’s easy to internalize, build a wall, and just get by, focusing on what you have to do. For him, that meant being a good soldier. For me, it meant being a good mom. And those 2 things, left to battle it out, would never have organically reconciled.

Service became an excuse to not do the hard work that staying in a healthy, strong and committed relationship takes.

And it does take work – from both parties.

While service members take an oath to serve and protect, marriage also is an oath of commitment.

If the last 19 years have taught me anything, it’s that there will be times when I am asked to do more of the work, but it in no way means that he is free from his obligation to me or our relationship.

I have learned to balance my needs and wants with a fair amount of patience and understanding. But he has also learned that just because I don’t demand his attention, it doesn’t mean I don’t need and want it.

There is a conscious awareness that is required for a military marriage to work. It starts with honest and open communication about needs and wants. It continues with a willingness to compromise and sacrifice for each other. And it ends with a stronger connection, built out of a better understanding of each other, and a genuine desire to build a life together, no matter where you end up, and no matter how often duty calls.

Do you ever feel like your service member loves the military more than you?

How Does Tricare Work When You ‘Move Home’ for the Deployment?

08/28/2017 By Veronica Jorden

Fate has a peculiar sense of humor when it comes to military families.

Over the years, I swear no sooner had I

a) gotten settled in at a job I loved

b) found out I was pregnant

c) gotten settled in a job I loved and found out I was pregnant at the same time,

did my hubby call me up and say, “So, I just came down on orders for deployment.”

And while I had my share of long visits with family, I never made the choice that many military spouses make to move back home during a deployment. Being the one left to manage the homefront while your service member is down range isn’t dangerous, but it can be overwhelming. Medical issues, kids and just plain old loneliness make moving into your parents’ basement or a studio apartment up the street from your best friend very tempting.

In hindsight, moving back to a guaranteed support system and a familiar place would have probably lowered my stress level tremendously.

How Does Tricare Work When You "Move Home" for the Deployment?

Tricare makes it very easy to get medical care, no matter where you live.

If you are contemplating moving home during a deployment, you may be wondering how or if Tricare coverage will work for your family. Can you seek treatment in a location other than your duty station? What if home is on the other side of the county? What if it’s on the other side of the world?

Here’s what you need to know about Tricare coverage if going home makes the most sense for you.

Tricare has made it very easy to get medical care, no matter where you live. And no matter where you move, you’ll still be covered.

Most active-duty families are enrolled in Tricare Prime. More often than not, if you move to a location within the United States you’ll be able to stay enrolled in Tricare Prime, but there are a few caveats:

  1. If you live within 30 minutes of a Military Treatment Facility (MTF) and they have Primary Care Managers availability, you MUST use that facility for care. If they do not have a PCM availability, you will need to pick a PCM from an approved network of doctors.
  2. If you live more than 30 minutes, but no more than 100 miles away from a MTF and they have a PCM availability, you can apply to receive care there, but the decision is made at the facility’s discretion. If they do not have availability, you will need to pick a PCM from an approved network of providers.
  3. If there is no available MTF or network PCM, it may be necessary to enroll in a different Tricare plan. These might include Tricare Standard or Tricare Standard Overseas. To check to see which plan is available in your area, use the Plan Finder tool on the Tricare website.

As you might imagine, Tricare service providers don’t exactly have a crystal ball, so if you are planning on moving, you will need to let them know. It’s as easy as a quick phone call, but don’t forget to do it or you may find it difficult to receive care or worse yet, end up with a bill. Plan and treatment options are based on the address where you will be living (see the caveats above).

If you need some time to find a place to live that’s OK, just make sure you get any routine care before moving. You can seek urgent and emergency care out of region while you are moving, but things like physicals will likely not be covered while you are in transit.

When the time comes and you are ready to move back to be with your service member, don’t forget to let Tricare know you are switching back.

Did you decide to move home during a deployment? Did you have any issues with using your Tricare insurance while living away from a military base?

6 Ways to Save Your Child’s Mementos

08/23/2017 By Meg Flanagan

Before I got married, I lived in one house my whole entire life. For over 2 decades, I only had one place to include as my most recent address.

And all of my childhood memories were safely preserved in sealed plastic containers. From my beloved Beanie Babies and artwork to physical copies of report cards and my cap and gown, it was all there.

Now, I’m a military spouse and I’m lucky if we get to stay at one address for the full 3 years. I don’t have the weight allowance to save all of my children’s precious things. What’s a military parent to do?

6 Ways to Save Your Child's Mementos

Every child is an artist and a scholar.

6 Ways to Save Your Child’s Mementos

Shadow Box

A good friend recently shared a sweet baby keepsake: shadow boxes of the first year. In her boxes, she included:

  • the baby’s coming home outfit
  • Mom and baby hospital ID tags
  • a lock of hair from baby’s first haircut
  • pictures: ultrasound, newborn, 6 months, 1 year

I wish I had seen this before I passed my babies’ very small clothing along to friends. This is a fun way to keep those first moments and milestones with you, no matter where you go. Since everything is stored together, there is less chance of one item going missing.

You could repeat this process for other milestones in your child’s life, like sports, academics or art.

DIY Lovey

Even though other babies have worn my kid’s hand-me-downs, I’ve saved a few special outfits. Like the beautiful dress that my aunt bought for my daughter and the Eric Carle jammies that my son looks so sweet in. I don’t want to give these tiny clothes away, but I know we won’t use them again.

So I’m making them into stuffed animals! To be honest, I’m outsourcing this to my very crafty sister-in-law, but if you sew it’s possible to DIY this.

I’m excited to relive beautiful memories and gift my children with something they can treasure.

Portfolios

Every child is an artist and a scholar. As your kids grow and progress through school, they will come home with tons of papers. When your child enters preschool or kindergarten, buy an artist’s portfolio with pockets. You could choose the big size, designed to hold a large sketch or painting, or select a smaller version.

Label each pocket with a grade and year. As your child brings things home, sort through and keep the most memorable items and projects. Stash the papers in the correct grade section.

When your child graduates high school or is ready to relive childhood, pass the portfolio along!

Photo Books

Take this idea beyond family photos and document your child’s work and progress every year. Just like with a portfolio, sort through the papers and projects to select the cream of the crop or most important items.

Take a picture of 3D projects, science fair presentations and your child giving speeches. Scan academic awards, beautiful artwork and other flat papers.

Upload these images and files to your favorite photo book service. Add in pictures of your child from the year too. You could include school pictures, sports teams, groups of friends or field trips.

Put everything together into one photo book for that grade (September to July/August) or year (birthday to birthday). It’s like their own personalized yearbook. You could even leave space at the end for teachers to write notes!

Growth Chart

Growing up, we had one particular doorway in our house where we recorded our height. It’s a great visual of our lives. Unfortunately, my kids don’t have one particular doorway. Instead, we have a fabric growth chart that hangs between their rooms.

After every milestone doctor’s visit, I mark their height, their age and the date on the chart. Another fun spin would be to add handprints or footprints to the chart. You could also include photos of your children on their birthdays or at milestones.

Fabric growth charts are easy to roll up and take with you! Other options are giant wooden rulers or peel and stick wall clings.

Memory Blankets

Whether it’s baby clothes, favorite childhood shirts or athletic jerseys, creating a quilt or blanket out of your child’s clothing is a great way to keep the memories without the bulk.

There are services that can make these blankets for you or you can DIY if you are crafty. Shirt or clothing blankets make great gifts and keepsakes. Make a baby blanket out of jammies and onesies from your little one’s first year. Collect all of their sports jerseys over the years and turn it into a blanket at high school or college graduation.

How do you save precious objects or mementos for your children? Share your best ideas in the comments!

I Can’t Believe I Love Living on Base

08/21/2017 By Michelle Volkmann

I never wanted to live in on-base housing. I always said I wouldn’t do it. Our family would always rent a house off-post.

My reasons for not wanting to live there were simple. I believed that everyone needs a transition between work and home and a daily commute provides that. I believed that if we lived on base, my husband would always feel like he’s being watched by other sailors. I thought that by living off post we would be more involved in our city and become close friends with our civilian neighbors.

I was wrong.

Two years ago, we had a quick PCS (less than 2 weeks) to get from California to Mississippi. We moved during the winter break, so that our daughter could start at her new school on the first day of the second semester. This PCS was further complicated when my husband told me that he would be leaving for a 6-month deployment less than 10 days after our household goods were delivered.

There wasn’t time to look for a rental home. There wasn’t time to compare school districts. There wasn’t time to review local crime data.

There simply wasn’t time.

So out of necessity, we decided to live on base.

It was one of the best decisions that I ever made.

I Can’t Believe I Love Living on Base

What do you love about living in base housing?

3 Reasons Why I Love Living on Base

Convenience

The convenience of living on base and having everything I need nearby was a lifesaver during deployment.

Besides my daughter’s elementary school and our public library, everything else is found on post. I enrolled my youngest at the on-post Child Development Center, which is located less than 2 miles from my house, and it was a perfect fit for her. She adored her caregivers and made friends quickly.

I feel blessed that there’s a fitness center with a pool, an NEX, commissary, gas station, post office, movie theater, chapel, youth center and 3-mile loop for biking or walking at my current duty station.

Did I mention that I can run to the commissary and be back to my house in less than 17 minutes?

I spend less time in my car and less money on gas because I live on base.

Community

On the first day in our new neighborhood, a neighbor delivered homemade muffins, coffee and orange juice. Children were stopping by to introduce themselves and invite my kids to play with them. Military spouses were giving me their phone numbers and telling me “if you need anything, just text me.”

This tight-knit community is what surprised me the most about living on base. I felt welcomed. I felt included. I felt like this was where I was meant to be living.

And during those tough days, like when I woke up with the stomach flu on Mother’s Day, my community took care of me and my children.

When my car’s oil change took longer than expected, my community picked up my daughter at the bus stop.

When my daughters grew out of their toddler dress-up clothes, we gave them to a princess-loving 4-year-old who lives around the corner.

When I made a huge pot of soup that my children refused to eat, I shared it with a family of 6 down the street.

That’s community. I wouldn’t have survived through 2 deployments without it.

Peace of Mind

I feel safe and my children feel safe on base. I feel like my house is safe, even when I’m not there.

During the summers I take my children to visit their grandparents for 6 to 8 weeks. We spend that time catching up with their relatives and enjoying small town life. I’m 3 states away from my house, but I’m not worried.

My peace of mind is worth it to live on base.

In my opinion, living in base housing is like living in a gated community without paying the prices that come with a gated community.

I’m loving my on-base neighborhood so much that I don’t think I’ll ever live off-post again.

Do you live on base and love it? What do you love about living in base housing? Tell us in the comments section.

Commissary to Expand Online Ordering Program…Soon

08/21/2017 By Veronica Jorden

Picture this. You’ve just returned from a much-needed (and well-deserved) vacation. The fridge is bare. The pantry is nothing but dusty, empty shelves. You’ve got enough laundry to clothe a small village, a stack of mail the size of the Chrysler building and all you can think is, ” I need a vacation from my vacation.”

As you sit trying to muster up the energy to take care of your suitcase, you glance over at the kitchen and your oldest is standing in front of the refrigerator, doors open, eyeballing a stick of butter. Your spouse is rummaging through kitchen cabinets, mumbling something under his breath about starvation. After several unsuccessful deep drawer raids, he turns, holding up a packet of soy sauce and a bag of crushed cracker bits before declaring the obvious.

“We need to go to the commissary.”

And while a trip to the commissary promises everything you need to keep your family fed, the thought of navigating the aisles and elbowing for position in line sounds about as much fun as a root canal.

If only the commissary offered the option to shop online.

If only you could let your fingers do the walking and send in a list of your must-haves for the week.

If only someone would gather all of the things you need, bag ’em up and have them waiting for you when you got there.

Does such a magical service exist? Could “going to the commissary” ever really be as easy as pulling up to the curb and popping the trunk?

Commissary to Expand Online Ordering Program

There aren’t definitive start dates for the online ordering program expansion yet, but the idea already has lots of people looking forward to the option.

If DeCA follows through on plans to expand their curbside pick-up services, you might just be in luck.

Currently, the commissary curbside pick-up program, called Click2Go, is only offered at 3 stateside commissaries. But, as part of DeCA’s continuing efforts to keep the commissary system operational and moving toward sustainability, this convenient service may be coming to a commissary near you soon.

Folks at Fort Lee, Offutt Air Force Base and Travis Air Force Base already know the ins and outs of the Click2Go program. Launched in 2013, the original pilot program was only supposed to last for one year. But due in large part to the astounding positive reception, the program was extended at those 3 locations indefinitely.

Initially intended to help encourage shoppers under 35 to use the commissary more often, the program saw success with older shoppers as well, proving convenience really doesn’t have an age limit. Almost all products available in the commissary are available on Click2Go, including items from health and beauty, deli, freezer and meat/seafood departments.

Currently, the program charges no fees, has no minimum purchase requirement and no tip is required for Click2Go employees.

Can you use coupons? You bet. Payment is tendered at pick-up so you can take advantage of both coupons and sale prices.

Better yet, you can shop 24 hours a day and pick from a list of available pick-up times most convenient for you. You can even place an order up to 6 days in advance.

There are no definitive dates on the expansion and there is already talk of charging a small fee for the service (much like at grocery chains across the country), but the idea already has lots of people looking forward to the option.

Just think, in the near future, instead of trying to figure out how to make a meal out of ketchup, stale corn flakes and pickles, you can use that 2-hour layover to place an order, and just swing by the commissary on your way home.

What do you think of DeCA’s plan to expand the online ordering program at the commissaries? Would you use it?

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