School can be hard for military kids. The constant moves, always feeling like the new kid and different standards can seriously impact how your MilKid feels about school. Add in deployments or other bumps in the military life road and K-12 school can start to become a mess.

But you can fix your military child’s school year starting right now. In fact, the end of the calendar year is a great time to take stock, look back and plan ahead.

New School, New Challenges: How To Fix-Up Your MilKid’s Year ASAP

Let’s be real: there is no one-size-fits all solution for school issues of any sort. But there are some common themes that run through many struggles and that can impact a majority of military children.

New to School & Feeling Alone

Maybe you’ve just PCSed, moved over the last summer or simply progressed to the next higher level of school. Whatever the case, your child is new. Even with almost 4 months of school under their belt, your child is still not quite feeling connected to the community.

It’s definitely hard to feel like you don’t belong. Here are some options to fix up your MilKid’s school year ASAP:

• Contact the teacher: works best in the lower grades; let them know your concerns
• Work with the school counselor: share your concerns and ask about options
• Extracurriculars: think beyond school-based options and include community-run sports, clubs and organizations
• Therapy: sometimes talking to someone completely separate from school and home can sometimes help uncover issues
• Connect with old friends: set up video chats with friends from previous duty stations; connecting with old friends can help boost confidence to make new friends

Someone is Deploying Soon

A fact of military life is deployment. But just because it’s “normal” doesn’t make it easier.

But you can build out your support team with these tips:

• Share with the teacher: respect OPSEC, but share as much as possible
• Let the admin and counselor know: there might be extra resources available to support your child or family
• Keep communication open: let the teacher and school know about changes with the deployment or your child at home
• Look for changes: dropping grades, changing behavior and social differences can all hint at bigger issues; let the teacher know if you notice these things, ask that the teacher do the same

Getting Ready to PCS Soon

The process of leaving can be hard. Every child acts and reacts differently. Keeping your school and community in the loop can help to make PCSing easier.

Try these tips:

• Reach out to the school counselor: use support groups and resources
• Tell the teacher: ask for contact information for classmates; request recommendation letters, final assessments and one last report card
• Request the cumulative file: talk to the school’s administration or front office; ask for a copy of your child’s permanent record and let then know when and where you’ll be moving
• Create a contact list: plan to keep in touch with friends – set up an email group or other chat group, pre-address envelopes and put video chats on your schedule

Grades Aren’t Looking So Hot

Every child can struggle with grades, regardless of military connections. How you react to lower than expected grades can help your child get back on track.

Try these tips:

• Talk to the Teacher: start by talking to the teacher(s); use email, phone calls or in-person meetings to chat about trouble spots and ways to help
• Ask for resources: there might be extra options in school to help your child succeed, like differentiated assignments, extra tutoring or other small groups for learning
• Keep good data: make a file of your child’s grades, assignments, tests and other work; keep track of where those trouble spots are popping up routinely – use this data when you talk to the teacher
• Get a tutor: free tutoring is available to military families through Tutor.com, but hiring someone to work with your child in-person could be a good option; ask the school for a list of teachers who tutor or reach out to the military community for recommendations
• Request testing: if nothing is working, and you’ve tried a lot of things, you can formally request special education testing to see if your child might qualify for an IEP

You’re Feeling Disconnected & Alone

Maybe everything is going well for your child, but you’re the one feeling out of sorts and lonely. Try these things:

• Join the PTA: yes, it’s another thing to do, but you’ll also get access to their membership rosters – which means contact info for parents in your child’s class
• Find just one: start with one person; reach out to the parents of your child’s best friend or talk to someone at practice on Saturday – it just takes one friend
• Use the military community: hop into the digital community and send a request for a buddy out to the hive mind – someone will respond and you’ll gain a new friend
• Be a joiner: don’t limit your new found love of joining things to the PTA, try other groups like Toast Makers, rotary groups or fitness communities; your new friends might be waiting there

How have you helped your child succeed at school? We’d love to learn from your wisdom!

One of my favorite Christmas gifts one year came from an Aunt on a limited budget. She gave my Mom $25 for the family and my Mom went out and bought all kinds of treats and fun foods that we didn’t normally get to have. $25 went a lot further in those days. With our family eating nutritiously most of the time, this was a special experience my sisters and I loved. Commissary Gift Cards are a great way to gift a food experience to your family and friends that have access to the commissary. It is very special at this time of year as the commissary brings in special holiday treats from around the world.

“We like to say that anyone can show their appreciation and support to military service members and their families around the world by giving them the gift of groceries,” said Army Command Sgt. Maj. Tomeka N. O’Neal, the Defense Commissary Agency’s senior enlisted advisor to the Defense Commissary Agency director. To make the gift even more convenient you can order them online and they can be shipped anywhere in the U.S. or to APO, FPO, and DPO addresses for those OCONUS or you can just pick them up at your local commissary.

“The program, featuring cards in denominations of $25 or $50, has been incredibly successful. Since it began in 2011, over 1 million gift cards have been sold, said Bob Bunch, DeCA’s gift card program manager. “A redemption rate that tops 90 percent shows that it’s a gift that’s not only used but is greatly appreciated. This year we’re making it even more attractive to give gift cards through the rollout of new ‘open value’ cards that let purchasers put any amount between $5 and $300 on them.”

With the new ‘open value” cards, you can determine how much you want to give. Only 40 commissaries can load amounts on the cards. If your commissary is not one of the 40, you can buy them online. Eventually all commissaries will have the capability. You will also be able to purchase in Navy Exchanges with a partnership between NEXCOM and DeCA.

“Separations created by the demands of military service are a tough part of military life,” O’Neal said. “Whether it’s a single service member or a family, using commissary gift cards lifts spirits. The commissary’s quality products and services remind them of home and they can save their money to use on other things to make their holidays memorable

Commissary Gift Card Facts

• Gift cards are available online and at all commissaries worldwide.
• Cards are good for five years from the date of purchase.
• Cards purchased online incur a shipping and handling fee. There are no fees when the card is purchased in a store.
• There is no limit to the number of gift cards that a purchaser can buy. It’s recommended that organizations and activities consider buying their gift cards online if they plan to purchase more than 50 cards at a time.
• Cards can be shipped anywhere in the United States. When shipping outside the United States, an APO, FPO or DPO address must be used.
• To check a gift card’s balance, go online and then click the “Check your balance” box.
• There’s a phone number, 877-988-4438, on the back of the gift cards that can handle customer service questions. Customers can also use this number to check the balance on their card.

The 40 Commissaries that carry the new Open Gift Card

• Virginia: Fort Eustis, Langley Air Force Base, Fort Lee, Fort Myer, Norfolk Naval Shipyard Scott Center Annex, Joint Expeditionary Base Little Creek, Naval Base Norfolk, Fort Belvoir, Marine Corps Base Quantico, Naval Air Station Oceana, Naval Surface Warfare Center Dahlgren.
• Maryland: Fort Detrick, Aberdeen Proving Ground, Dover Air Force Base, Naval Air Station Patuxent River, Joint Base Andrews, Naval Support Activity Annapolis, Forest Glen, Fort Meade
• Connecticut: Submarine Base New London
• Maine: Bangor Air National Guard Base
• New Jersey: Picatinny Arsenal, Lakehurst and McGuire Commissaries at Joint Base McGuire-Dix-Lakehurst
• Pennsylvania: Carlisle Barracks, Tobyhanna Army Depot
• New York: Mitchel Field, Saratoga Springs, Fort Drum, U.S. Military Academy (West Point), Fort Hamilton
• North Carolina: Marine Corps Air Station New River, Marine Corps Base Camp Lejeune
• Massachusetts: Hanscom Air Force Base
• Washington, D.C.: Joint Base Anacostia-Bolling
• Rhode Island: Naval Education and Training Center Newport
• South Carolina: Fort Jackson, Naval Weapons Station Charleston and Charleston Air Force Base at Joint Base Charleston, Shaw Air Force Base

For more information visit more time and money by visiting the online customer portal, My Commissary).

Marguerite Cleveland is a freelance writer who specializes in human interest and travel stories. She is a military brat, a veteran and now a military spouse.  Her military experience is vast as the daughter of a Navy man who served as an enlisted sailor and then Naval Officer. She served as an enlisted soldier in the reserves and on active duty, then as an Army Officer. She currently serves as a military spouse. She lives in the Pacific Northwest with her husband and two sons. Visit her website www.PeggyWhereShouldIGo.com

Prepping a care package to send to a military-connected loved one this holiday season? As of right now, it’s officially go time! You’ll need to hustle to get your presents and cards ready in order to make the holiday shipping deadline.

Hustle to Make the 2019 Holiday Shipping Deadline

Run, don’t walk, to your closest USPS location to drop your parcels and envelopes so that they arrive in time for the holidays!

CONUS Holiday Shipping Deadlines

You have a little more wiggle room if you’re sending mail within the lower 48 US states.

• Retail Ground: December 14
• First Class: December 20
• Priority: December 21
• Priority Express: December 23

Just because you have a smidge longer to procrastinate doesn’t mean that you should hold off on sending your items. It’s better to be on the early side to ensure your packages arrive on time.

Alaska & Hawaii USPS Deadlines

If you’re sending things to Hawaii, you’re going to want to watch these dates:

• First Class: December 18
• Priority: December 19
• Priority Express: December 21

Alaska-bound mail has similar deadlines for their Christmas delivery:

• First Class: December 19
• Priority: December 19
• Priority Express: December 21

APO/FPO/DPO AE Zip 090-092 Mail Deadlines

Everything needs to be shipped, completely, by December 18. But that’s the most expensive option. If you’re looking to save some money, watch these dates:

• Retail Ground: November 6
• Space Available: November 27
• Parcel Airlift: December 4
• First Class and Priority Mail: December 11
• Priority Express Military: December 18

APO/FPO/DPO AE Zip 093 Holiday Shipping Deadlines

If you’re mailing to or from an AE zip code that begins with 093, you’ll want to mark these dates:

• Retail Ground: November 6
• Space Available: November 27
• Parcel Airlift: December 4
• First Class and Priority Mail: December 9
• Priority Express Military: None

APO/FPO/DPO AE Zip 094-099 Holiday Mail Deadlines

Like our first group of zip codes in OCONUS military locations, sending mail to or from AE FPO/APO/DPO addresses with zip codes beginning with 094-099 should watch these dates:

• Retail Ground: November 6
• Space Available: November 27
• Parcel Airlift: December 4
• First Class and Priority Mail: December 11
• Priority Express Military: December 18

APO/FPO/DPO AE Zip 340 Mail Deadlines

Everything sent to or from AE zips starting with 340 needs to be mailed by December 18 in order to ensure arrival before December 25. Keep these dates in mind when you’re planning:

• Retail Ground: November 6
• Space Available: November 27
• Parcel Airlift: December 4
• First Class and Priority Mail: December 11
• Priority Express Military: December 18

APO/FPO/DPO AP Zip 962-966 Mailing Deadlines

For packages, letters and cards headed to the Asian-Pacific region, everything will need to be posted by December 18. Mark these dates to ensure arrival by Christmas:

• Retail Ground: November 6
• Space Available: November 27
• Parcel Airlift: December 4
• First Class and Priority Mail: December 11
• Priority Express Military: December 18

Check It Twice & Pack It Nice

Always confirm shipping deadlines with your local military of civilian USPS locations. If these dates don’t work for you, it can pay to check with other shipping services, like UPS and FedEx. However, you may pay a premium for their shipping options.

When packing holiday packages, ensure that there are no prohibited items, like alcohol and drugs. For mail headed OCONUS, check the shipping restrictions for your intended recipient’s location.

For international mail, even if it’s being sent to or from a military post office, it’s important to complete a US customs form. There is a quick short-form option that’s easier to fill out. Pick up a few at your local USPS office. Make sure the form is filled out correctly and all information is accurate.

When packing items, take care with potentially fragile things. Adding some extra padding or using bubble wrap can help to ensure a break-free delivery! It’s also helpful to pack really breakable items so that they are surrounded by other items that can provide cushioning in the event of a drop or hard bump. Shipping can be rough!

For food gifts, double-check the expiration date on pre-packaged items. If you’re sending a special batch of homemade goodies, stick to dry and dense items, like biscotti, or use tried-and-true recipes, like canning jar cake.

Pro tip: don’t pack food items in with other non-food items, especially scented things. Smells can mingle and change during shipping due to proximity and varying external conditions, like temperature, altitude and humidity. When in doubt, pack things separately!

No matter what you are sending or where it is headed, be sure to secure all boxes prior to shipping. Use packing tape to really seal all edges and prevent the box from breaking apart in transit.

Add a clearly written address label to the box or envelope and you’re ready to send!

What is your favorite gift to mail to military loved ones for the holidays? We’d love to learn from your ideas!

November rolls around and the to-do lists for the holidays start to get longer and longer. It’s not just the holiday stuff, it’s the visits. That endless cycle of running between houses, seeing all the people and making endless trips.

Every single year, we make the trek to be with family and friends back home. Only to spend the entire trip running back and forth between everyone’s homes.

Frankly, it’s exhausting and kind of disheartening to always be the one doing the heavy lifting during visits.

Stop Running Around for the Holidays

This year, make a resolution to say “no” to the parade of visits, flights and car rides. Say “no” to attempting to see everyone and please everyone over the holidays.

Make Some Decisions

As a family, decide how you want your holiday season to look this year.

• Where will you go?
• Where will you stay?
• How will you get there (or not)?
• What will you do?
• Who will you see?

Once you have your vision, make your travel plans from there. Keep sanity in mind as you make your itinerary.

Let Them Come to You

If you are going home, set some clear boundaries. There is no reason for you to be running yourselves ragged traveling all over creation to see people.

One of the most powerful things you can do is share your plan:

“We’ll be at (location) from (dates). If you’d like to see us, please let us know and we’ll share our specific plans.”

This puts the onus on your extended family and friends to come to you. After all, they live in the area you’re visiting and haven’t traveled from far away.

You have. Let them come to you.

Or you could simply say:

“We’ll be making reservations at (restaurant) on (date). Should we add your family to the reservation?”

Again, this puts the responsibility on others to join you. And it limits your travel – a win no matter how you spin it!

Simply Stay Put

Staying home is underrated. Traveling on or around the holidays is awful whether you’re driving or flying.

So don’t travel. Stay at home instead!

If you’re feeling welcoming, you could invite folks down to see you. Just be clear about whether you’ll be hosting them in your home or if they’ll need to make reservations elsewhere.

You’ll feel so much more relaxed! It’s fun to create your own traditions as just a small family unit. Or build your community by sharing events with local friends or your unit.

Take a Vacation

Another option is to seriously escape it all: go on a legit vacation. Book your family on a trip to somewhere fun – all together!

Again, you could invite your extended family or friends along on your adventure. Or go it solo with just immediate family.

Either way, you’ll escape the forced marches between different sides of the family. And that’s a victory.

Celebrate at Another Time

Skip the inflated ticket prices and crowded highways, celebrate Christmas during March or Thanksgiving in October. Find a time that works for everyone and commit!

This way you’ll get to have your cake and eat it, too. On the actual holiday, you can create traditions with your own family with some sanity to boot. At another time, you can host a big celebration with your extended family and friends.

Keep Your Sanity Front & Center

If it’s not making you happy, say no. No excuses needed.

Driving around, flying hither and yon – it’s just not relaxing or celebratory. It’s not what the holidays are supposed to be about.

Instead, this year, put yourself and your family first. Take a break. Do your own thing. Set boundaries and don’t force yourself to do ALL the traveling all the time.

It’s okay to say no. It’s fine to pass up on opportunities. And it’s good to ask those you love to make the journey to see you for a change.

No matter what you decide to do this holiday season, make sure your own sanity is coming first.

How will you be saving your sanity this holiday season?

You’ve got a baby on the way! But you’re also not sure about how you’ll juggle life along with lack of sleep plus breastfeeding. Really, you need support and some common sense explanations about how to make motherhood and military life work together.

Tricare Benefits for Nursing Moms – Explained!

Tricare has a benefit for this exciting time in your life, and The Breastfeeding Shop can help military-connected new mothers navigate the system.

The Breastfeeding Shop was founded in 2014 specifically to support military families looking to nurse their new baby.

“I am a huge proponent of breastfeeding and supporting new moms as well,” explains The Breastfeeding Shop founder Patty Gatter. “I also wanted to help support our military families in some way.  So this seemed to be the perfect way to accomplish all of these things.”

The Breastfeeding Shop offers military moms an easy way to access their Tricare-covered breastfeeding supplies, including breast pumps and milk storage bags as well as some replacement parts.

Get Yourself a Prescription

All new mothers are authorized breast pumps, paid for via Tricare. This benefit applies to each live birth event, which means that Tricare beneficiaries can get a new breast pump for their first child and every child born subsequently!

That’s important since breast pumps can wear out due to age or frequent use.

The first step to accessing the Tricare breast pump benefit is to obtain a prescription. According to Gatter, expecting mothers can and should request a prescription for a breast pump from their OBGYN at or after 27 weeks gestation.

Any prescription form will work, as long as it is properly signed by the appropriate medical practitioner.

“Tricare requires the prescription to have the Mom’s name on it, what type of breast pump, electric or hospital grade, signed and dated by the ordering physician, nurse practitioner, midwife or physician assistant,” says Gatter.

Moms-to-be can submit their own prescription via The Breastfeeding Shop’s easy to use online form. If that’s not possible, trained staff members at the Shop can call the doctor’s office to confirm the prescription. You can also call 866-255-6779 for assistance in submitting an order or use the mobile app.

All prescriptions should include a diagnosis code, length of need (at least 36 months) and a medical provider’s signature.

Get a Handle on Insurance

Working through Tricare’s red tape can be daunting, especially when already sleep-deprived.

Luckily, The Breastfeeding Shop can and will handle all the paperwork for Tricare beneficiaries!

“We want it to be as simple as possible,” Gatter explains. “We know a new mom has a lot to do! We submit the claim and all necessary paperwork on the mom’s behalf.”

That’s it:

• submit your prescription
• order your pump and supply kit
• let The Breastfeeding Shop handle the paperwork

Keeping Your Milk & Pump Safe

Once the pumping starts, parents need places to store expressed milk. New military moms are authorized 90 milk storage bags when the pump is first issued.

While more than 90 bags aren’t included in the initial prescription for the breast pump, more storage bags could be ordered with an additional prescription.

Maintaining clean tubes, valves and flanges are essential to keeping a breast pump in good working order. All of these parts are covered by Tricare. New moms can order these supplies 30 days after birth through The Breastfeeding Shop.

For the initial set of replacement supplies, a new Rx is not required,” says Gatter. “However, if they need additional replacement items after that, they will need an Rx for each new order.”

Not all breast pump parts fit every mom. Breasts and nipples come in different shapes and sizes! New mothers can now order flanges in different sizes through The Breastfeeding Shop, all covered under Tricare.

“They have also added to the benefit to cover Supplemental Nursing Systems (SNS feeder) and nipple shields (an RX is required for those),” Gatter explains.

In addition, Gatter explains that some new moms might also be eligible for maternity support belts, postpartum compression, positioning wedge and compression socks to be covered as well.

Supporting Military Moms Around the World

The Breastfeeding Shop is committed to supporting military-connected mothers and moms-to-be no matter where they are stationed. Breast pumps and accessories can be shipped within the US as well as to APO and FPO addresses overseas.

“We are appreciative of our relationships with all regions of Tricare, Tricare West, Tricare East and Tricare Overseas,” says Gatter. “We have worked very closely with them throughout their policy changes to stay properly informed.”

While other breastfeeding supplies providers have disassociated from serving Tricare beneficiaries, The Breastfeeding Shop continues to serve military families.

“We have not backed away and have continued business as usual,” says Gatter. “A lot of companies have stopped supplying accessories for a variety of reasons. We have not and continue to honor the policy and our contract/ relationship with Tricare.”

Going forward, Gatter and The Breastfeeding Shop are on a mission to support military moms who choose to breastfeed or use expressed breast milk to nourish their infants.

“My mission is to be the best and most helpful breast pump supplier. to listen to the moms and have a good understanding of their needs and help them address those needs,” she says. “I always tell my staff that we don’t provide breast pumps – and the look at me like I’m crazy – I say, we are in the business of helping new moms.”

Have you used your Tricare benefits to cover a breast pump? What was your experience? Sound off in the comments!

As often happens a chance encounter and an act of kindness resulted in something bigger. In 2009, Ken Ruff found himself behind a soldier and his family at a grocery store when he noticed they didn’t have enough money to pay for their groceries which included an austere number of items to make a Thanksgiving dinner. He stepped up to pay the difference despite the protest.  The encounter made Ruff realize there was a need to help military families during the holidays.

 Ruff went back to his company Beam Global and canceled the holiday gifts usually given to clients and got the seed money to launch a pilot program to distribute more than 500 holiday meals kits to service members and their families. They paired with Operation Homefront a nonprofit Ruff had worked with before and trusted. The program has continued to expand over the years and now has 20 core sponsors that provide generous support which includes volunteer hours, funding, food items, venues, storage, and shipping.

 Each holiday meal kit contains a turkey, gravy cranberry sauce, stuffing and vegetables. In 2018, almost 10,000 families were gifted a holiday meal due to generous donors. Since that first year, the Holiday Meals for Military program has served over 90,000 military families including 420,000 family members.  

The 2019 Holiday Meals for Military Events are now open for registration. All ranks of Active Duty are eligible as well as National Guard or Reserve on Title 10 status, Post 9/11 wounded, ill, or injured service member of any rank. Visit Operation Homefront – Holiday Meals Registration to register for a meal. The group operates on many installations around the country.

In addition to the Holiday Meals, Operation Homefront provides a variety of services to military families in need. One of the ways you can help is to make a monetary donation to their current needs. There are many families suffering a one time crisis that can be helped with a donation to stop a downward financial spiral due to unexpected expenses. For example, one family just needs $78 for groceries. Others need emergency assistance to pay rent or utilities.

Another need is volunteers. As a nonprofit, Operation Homefront is dependent on their volunteers who help make their valued programs and services for military families happen. Programs include: critical financial assistance, rent-free transitional housing, caregiver support programs, family support with holiday meals, school supplies, baby bundles, toys, and resources for military spouses and children. Visit the website to find volunteer opportunities in your area.

They also have a monthly giving program called “Homefront Hero”. A donation of $10 a month will help provide groceries for a month for a military family. A $25 monthly donation helps pay utility bills for a military family. You can help cover car repairs for a military family with a $50 a month donation. It is simple to set up and makes a huge impact for our military families.

Whether you need their services or would like to give back, check out Operation Homefront. What ways do you give back to our military communities?

Marguerite Cleveland is a freelance writer who specializes in human interest and travel stories. She is a military brat, a veteran and now a military spouse.  Her military experience is vast as the daughter of a Navy man who served as an enlisted sailor and then Naval Officer. She served as an enlisted soldier in the reserves and on active duty, then as an Army Officer. She currently serves as a military spouse. She lives in the Pacific Northwest with her husband and two sons. Visit her website www.PeggyWhereShouldIGo.com