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Alone and Lonely on Valentine’s Day

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*This article was originally published on February 4, 2015.

For whatever reason, my husband always seems to be away from home on Valentine’s Day. He is either away for training, deployed or even at school. This means that ever since we became a military family, I have spent almost every Valentine’s Day alone. I think he was home last year and we didn’t even really know what to do with ourselves. We were so accustomed to spending that holiday away from one another.

Each year, I’m trying to figure out a way to make it through this romantic holiday that the rest of the world seems to be embracing.

 

It would be easy to ignore the day or pretend it isn’t a real holiday. On the other hand, I really want to find ways to make it special even when my love is on the other side of the world.

One way to connect with your spouse during this time is by sending a Valentine’s Day care package. You can take the time to find some of their favorite items to put in the package.  You can make it as romantic as you would like. Make sure that you do send the package in enough time so they get it before February 14.

 

At home, you can make plans to do something fun with your friends or your children. Host a Valentine’s Day play date. Have all the moms bring something to eat and have all the children bring valentines for each other. I have always felt better about missing the holidays with my soldier when I can spend the day with others, especially those who know what it’s like to be alone on those special days.

Treat yourself to a nice dinner. When we were in Germany, I had 2 small children at home with me. It wasn’t possible to take myself out to eat on Valentine’s Day. I also knew if I did, seeing couples together might be hard. I decided to order in my favorite food from a local restaurant. I put the kids to bed early and ate my meal while talking to my husband online. A very modern military way to spend Valentine’s Day. Of course it wasn’t the same as having him home, but it made life a little easier on that day.

Sometimes you just can’t talk to your spouse on Valentine’s Day. This can make it harder but try to remember, it’s only one day. Set up a time to chat as soon as you can and make the day special for your kids and your friends.

I have also found that making Valentine’s Day cookies, putting up a few decorations and thinking about how I fell in love with my soldier can help me embrace the holiday even though we are apart. Sometimes it is the little details that can help you get through the tough days of a deployment or a busy training schedule.

Related: 5 Tips for Saving Money During a Deployment

Missed holidays are going to happen when you are married to someone in the military. There is nothing you can do to change that. You can however make the day a little nicer and plan to have a good holiday anyway.

Is your spouse working, gone for training or deployed on February 14? What are your plans for Valentine’s Day?

*This article was originally published on February 4, 2015.

Photo Credit:
© artmim/Adobe Stock

29 Ways to Tell Your Spouse You Love Them

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Love is in the air and Valentine’s Day is right around the corner.

29 Simple Ways to Tell Your Spouse You Love Them

What are your tips and tricks for keeping love alive in your military marriage?

As a military couple you know how special your time is together. You want to tell your spouse how much you love them.

Here are 29 simple ways to do so.

  1. Leave them a love note. Leave love notes around the house for them to find. Put some in their suitcase if they are about to go somewhere. They can find them and read them later on.
  2. Make their favorite meal. Everyone loves to eat a good meal. Cook up their favorite without telling them. They will love to see that you thought about them enough to plan their favorite meal.
  3. Send them an email. If your spouse is gone, show them love by sending them a quick email. Tell them what you love the most about them.
  4. Send them a text. Text messaging is also a great way to share how you feel.
  5. Write them a love letter. If you have more time, write them a love letter. Make the letter at least 3 pages and then either send it to them in the mail or leave the letter out for them to read when they are home.
  6. Do the dishes. Sometimes doing a chore your spouse normally does themselves can help show them love. This takes the stress off and they will be very happy you took the time to lessen their load.
  7. Tell them. Sometimes just stopping them in the hallway and saying, “I love you” can mean a lot. Especially if you both have been really busy lately.
  8. Buy them something cute. Does your spouse have her eye on some cute earrings? What about some new pens? Surprise your spouse with a small gift.
  9. Clean their car.This is a great way to show someone you care. Wash their car for them so the next time they go to drive somewhere the car feels nice and clean.
  10. Buy them a book. Does your spouse like to read? Buy them a new book. They will love that.
  11. Give them a framed photo. These always make the best gifts, especially if they are deployed or away from home.
  12. Pack a care package. If your spouse is deployed, send them a love-themed care package filled with goodies.
  13. Write “I love you” in the snow. If there is snow, write how much you love them in the snow, take a photo and send the picture to them if they are not at home right now.
  14. Take care of the children for the night. If your spouse is normally the one to handle bedtime, offer to take over. Having a break from the kids works wonders.
  15. Flowers. Always a good way to let someone know you love them.
  16. Chocolate. Who doesn’t like chocolate?
  17. Have lunch together. Plan to meet up with them during the workday. Have a nice lunch date. Lunchtime is a great way to spend some time together.
  18. Draw a picture. This can be a fun gift. Draw a picture of your life together.
  19. Do their laundry. Take this chore off of their plate. Do their laundry for them, fold it and put the clothes away.
  20. Give them a hug. Very simple but does the trick.
  21. Give them kisses. Random kisses are a great way to show love.
  22. Be there. Just be around, be open to talk, be there for them.
  23. Tell them what you love about them. Sometimes we get so busy with life. Spend some time telling your spouse what you love about them.
  24. Watch a movie together. Pick something out after the kids go to bed. If they are deployed make plans to watch the movie and talk about what you thought about it afterwards.
  25. Watch their favorite TV show with them. Sometimes showing love is sitting down and watching a television show we might not enjoy that our spouse does.
  26. Send photos. If they are deployed, send them photos on a regular basis.
  27. Send a homemade gift. Make something for your spouse. They will love the item knowing your hands made something for them.
  28. Find songs that remind you of them. We don’t make mixed tapes anymore but we can always send a playlist of songs that remind us of them.
  29. Plan a vacation. Pick a place you have both wanted to go and plan a trip. This is a great way to show love to each other.

Even the simplest of actions can go a long way when celebrating how much you love someone. Whether they are home or in a faraway place. Take the time to tell your spouse how much you love and care for them.

What are your tips and tricks for keeping love alive in your military marriage?

 

5 Sweet Valentine’s Day Care Package Ideas

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Ideas for Valentine's Day Care PackagesValentine’s Day is quickly approaching and if your love is deployed, sending a care package ahead of time will help them celebrate the day no matter where they are serving. Romantic holidays such as this can be a very emotional time and planning a sweet surprise can help turn the day into something special. Sending a well thought out care package is a fantastic way to let your service member know that they mean the world to you. Here are 5 ideas for sweet Valentine’s Day care packages.

Sweet Beginnings

Pictures and mementos from when you first met are always a great way to bring a smile to your loved one. Start this Valentine’s Day care package by decorating the box. You can make it quick and easy by just drawing hearts and xoxo’s or make it an elaborately decorated box with scrapbook paper, stickers and more.

Add sentimental items that will draw emotion such as a small stuffed animal your service member won for you at the fair, ticket stubs to a concert he/she surprised you with or something you kept from your first date.

Then add a sweet card followed by some actual sweets. Sweet tarts, chocolates (if you aren’t sending this care package to a hot climate), brownies and cookies are a few ideas.Ideas for Valentine's Day Care Packages

Never Ending Love

This care package would be ideal for a romantic person. Decorate the inside of the box and fill it with hearts. Add in romantic movies such as Love Actually, Sleepless in Seattle and Gone with the Wind. The Never Ending Story, while not romantic, goes with the theme and they might need a light-hearted classic after all. Write a love letter, a real love letter letting your significant other know your true emotions. Write about how you felt the first time they said “I love you” or when you knew you were in love. Put in a picture of the two of you from a romantic moment, maybe when they proposed or just watching the sunset together. Finish the box with sweets for him/her to snack on while reading your letter or watching a romantic movie. This could include Hershey Kisses (if you aren’t sending this to a very hot climate), Cherry Lovers Hearts, candy sweetheart roses, strawberry and cherry gummy hearts and sweet conversation hearts. You might even include a travel size Kleenex packet.

Ideas for Valentine's Day Care Package

Hot & Spicy

For the wild, hot and spicy couple this box is for you. Fill the box with spicy candy such as Red Hots, Fireballs, Big Red gum, cinnamon hearts and spiced tea. Check what customs allows for food to be sent and if it’s allowed, include a jar of hot peppers. You can put in a few heat wraps for sore muscles as a nice gesture. Decorate the box with chili peppers, zebra stripes or flaming hearts. Add a few hot pictures of yourself, nothing X-rated mind you. Make your own card with some of the same decorations and write about some of the wild nights you’ve shared together and the ones you’re looking forward to having after the homecoming.

Ideas for Valentine's Day Care PackagesYou Complete Me

This is a great Valentine’s Day care package for young love or young at heart. Include a few puzzles. You can create personalized puzzles with your own pictures on Shutterfly. Send ping pong paddles and balls with a note attached that says “You are the ping to my pong.” A few boxes of Kraft macaroni and cheese with a note saying “You are the cheese to my mac” is also cute and funny, not to mention delicious. Movies are always welcome gifts and you can choose your favorite and add a note saying “You are the Harry to my Sally,” or the main characters in your favorite romantic movie. Make sure you put in a letter saying how you both complement each other. Fill the rest of the box with sweet treats that you can’t have just one of such as: Twix, KitKats, M&M’s, Reese’s Pieces, jelly beans and gummy bears.

Love in Photos

With the ability to take digital pictures and instantly post them to social media or send them directly to anyone, physical pictures have become scarce. There’s just nothing like having a physical picture to hold however. Go through old photos and new ones and have them printed. This could include pictures from when you first met, your wedding or special occasion, the birth of your child and family vacations. Decorate the box with photos of just the two of you at significant times in your life. Put in a few scrapbooks and make them as simple or elaborate as you want. Add a few personalized sweet treats to complete the care package. Did  you know you can put your own picture on M&M’s? You can also put a picture on candy tins and add your own sweet treats.

These are just a few ideas for Valentine’s Day care packages. What have you sent to your loved one in the past?