TDY

by Amanda Marksmeier

Spend just a few minutes at any military base and you will discover an entirely new language full of odd phrases and acronyms. While terms like PCS, LES and BAH are imperative to a military spouse’s survival, there are some terms that sound quite strange coming from military spouses’ mouths.

4 Common Military Phrases That Sound Strange When Military Spouses Say Them

Hooah and Oorah

“Hooah” is widely used in the Army and Air Force as the standard answer to any question.

“Oorah!” is the Marines’ version.

The military thrives on discipline and obedience so no matter how the service member really wants to respond to “You have extra duty this weekend” they are expected to answer with an enthusiastic “Hooah” or “Oorah.”

We, as military spouses, should shy away from using these terms. Think about it. When your spouse comes home with deployment news, are you really excited about it? Would you reply, “That’s great news, I am so happy to hear it!”?

“Hooah” and “Oorah” doesn’t accurately communicate the authentic feelings of a military spouse.

Latrine and The Head

The military uses both terms to refer to the restroom. I don’t know about you, but when I hear someone say latrine it evokes images of dirty port-o-johns and dingy yellow titled rooms, with blinking fluorescent lights and urinals troughs.

The oasis you created in your home to resemble a quiet spa-like retreat with fluffy white mats, calming pale blue walls and a lavender Scentsy burning should never be referred to as a latrine. Isn’t powder room a much better description?

4 Military Phrases That Sound Strange When Military Spouses Say Them

What are some military terms you have heard military spouses use? Do you think it sounds strange when a military spouse says these words?

Buck Up

Buck up is used to inspire troops to embrace the suck and push through. When military spouses use this phrase, it is usually done in a sarcastic “Buck Up buttercup” kind of way.

Your spouse is gone for a week and missing your anniversary. Buck up buttercup! PCSing to a less than desirable place? Buck up buttercup!

I admit I have been guilty of this. I sometimes forget how difficult it can be as a new military spouse. It might be our seventh deployment or fifth PCS in four years, but it is someone’s first. Just because I have learned to accept the ups and downs of the military life, I must remember many spouses struggle with finding acceptance and balance in a difficult situation.

Instead of telling our fellow spouses to “buck up” we should be asking how they are and remind them to stay strong.

Deployments, Rotations and TDY

We have all heard a new spouse say, “My spouse is on deployment to Germany.” While we suppress an eye roll, we often forget we probably didn’t know the correct terms when we started out.

A deployment is defined as the movement of troops to a place or position for military action. Deployments are usually three, six or nine months long but can vary depending on assignment and branch. These movements take place in combat zones such as Iraq or Afghanistan.

Related: 5 ‘In Uniform’ Rules All Military Spouses Should Know

A rotation is when a military unit relives another unit in a non-combat environment such as Kuwait or Korea for a fixed amount of time anywhere from nine to twelve months.

A TDY (Temporary Duty Assignment) refers to a service member who is on assignment at a location other than his or her permanent duty station. TDYs can take place stateside or overseas and is usually for no more than 139 days.

Here are four military terms and phrases military spouses should be using.

Mandatory Fun

Mandatory fun refers to a company or unit sponsored event which service members are required to attend. These events can be organizational days which include football, fishing or another group activity, so there is fun to be had.

After attending our first unit organizational day, I adopted this term and use it every time we go out as a family. When given the choice to participate in a family outing, my kids usually say no. I have a teenager who has a very active social life and an eleven-year-old that we have to pry the game controller from his hands just to eat.

I no longer give them a choice; I give them a command.

You will come, you will have fun and you will enjoy time with your family. That’s an order!

Voluntold

This term gives the illusion that it is optional, however, we all know it really means you have been selected to volunteer for a task.

In a perfect world, my kids would volunteer to take out the trash or mow the lawn, but just like most of you, I don’t live in a perfect world. So, voluntold is how most things get done in our house.

Got Your Six

On the face of a clock, the number six is directly under or behind the twelve. In the military when someone says “Got your six,” it means “I’ve got your back.” In a combat situation “got your six” literally means “I’ve got you covered, I will look out for you and protect you.”

Related: 16 Money Terms Every MilSo Should Know

This is a great phrase to use as a military spouse. It is so important that we all have our fellow spouses’ backs.

Household 6

The 6 refers to the commander in charge, so Household 6 is a joking way to say commander in charge of the household. As military spouses most of us are responsible for the household.

We know where everything is (my husband still has no idea where anything is in our kitchen). We keep up with the kids’ schedules and pay bills in addition to having careers of our own, so of course we are the commanders of the household.

What are some common military terms you have heard military spouses use?

Amanda Marksmeier is an Army wife and mother of four. She works as an employment specialist assisting the military community in achieving their career goals. Amanda is also a contributing writer for a quarterly employment journal and has written for several military affiliated blogs.

After 18 years as a military spouse, I’ve lived through my share of service-connected separations. Be it multi-month deployments or weeks-long TDYs, separations are a part of military life.

Some military spouses, especially those new to this lifestyle, often struggle with the idea of separation, even for a short period of time.

And while deployments don’t allow military spouses to visit troops in country, many spouses do make the decision to follow their service member while they are on temporary duty.

I certainly appreciate the desire to be near your spouse, especially when a separation comes after basic training or in conjunction with a PCS to a new duty station.

Should Military Spouses Tag Along on TDYs?

Few military spouses have the luxury of packing a bag and hitting the road. If you plan to follow your service member on temporary duty, you’ll need lots of lead time to prepare.

But before you pack a bag and make a long-term hotel reservation, here are a few things to consider.

Your Service Member’s Free Time May Be Limited

A TDY typically involves some kind of training or special mission requirements. As such, a service member’s free time may be limited or they might be restricted to the duty station or facility. They may also work odd hours or have homework that limits the amount of free time they have outside of work.

So what does that mean? You might find yourself sitting in a hotel room in a town you’ve never been to before with no spouse to keep you company and zero support network.

If you are prepared for the possibility of spending a lot of time alone, make sure you have something to focus your time and energy on in between the sporadic visits from your spouse. You may want to take an online class, write a book or volunteer for a local nonprofit organization.

Planning Ahead Is a Must

Few of us have the luxury of packing a bag and hitting the road. If you plan on following your service member on temporary duty, you’ll need lots of lead time to prepare.

If the TDY is in conjunction with a PCS, you may need to give notice to terminate a lease and schedule a household goods pack-out.

Reservations at many hotels around busy military installations may be limited or long-term stays and temporary or short-term rental properties may not always be available. If you have pets, availability may be limited even further.

It is tempting to throw caution to the wind and figure it out as you go. But consider the extra strain and stress on a service member if you are unable to secure living arrangements.

Training and focusing on the mission becomes infinitely harder if you are worried about your spouse sleeping in your car.

If you make the decision to accompany your spouse, don’t leave the planning to the last minute. Plan to have a conversation about expectations. Try to talk to other service members about services and facilities available for a short-term relocation. Have a plan B in the event that a 3-week course suddenly becomes 6 weeks.

TDY Life May Be Costly

Perhaps the biggest consideration for a short-term relocation for military spouses is budget. Can you afford to quit your job or take a leave of absence, for the duration of the TDY?

Don’t forget that you may find additional costs associated with living out of your suitcase. If your living arrangements don’t include a kitchen or a washer and dryer, make sure you include those costs into your monthly budget.

The seasoned spouse in me wants to tell my fellow military spouses contemplating one of these temporary relocations to reconsider.

That the potential strain to relationships and budgets aren’t worth the occasional opportunity to see your spouse. That being alone in a new place without the benefit of a unit to turn to in times of need is time better spent in a familiar place or with family.

But instead, I will simply say this — Military life affords us ample opportunities for adventure and promises countless nights will be spent counting down to a reunion.

Separations are never easy, but we can and do learn to persevere through them. We must each make decisions about what is best for us and our families. If you decide this kind of move is right for you, be smart about your reasons and be fair in your expectations.

4 Military Phrases That Sound Strange When Military Spouses Say Them