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When Your Support Squad Moves Away

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I ran out of toilet paper. Actually, we didn’t have any toilet paper because we hadn’t even moved in yet. When I came knocking for a spare roll, she was happy to hand me one from her stash.

And then stepped in to help with child care duties when I got a stomach bug I just couldn’t shake.

When I was in the hospital for baby two, she was there again for sleepovers and dog walking.

For almost 18 months, we did everything together. Playdates and morning coffee and life.

Then the PCS orders came for her family, but not mine.

Now, my support squad is on another continent.

When Your Support Squad Moves Away From You

I tend to rely on just a few close friends at each duty station. When one of my besties moves away, there’s a big hole in my social and support networks.

When Your Support Squad PCSes, But You Don’t

Military spouses often build support networks with other spouses simply because it works the best in terms of stability. My kids’ school knows to call the emergency contacts right after they call me, just in case their dad is away.

Suddenly, I was adrift without my person. Yes, my spouse was still there with me, but he’s in and out for the most part.

My days were less full after she PCSed. No more morning spur-of-the-moment coffee dates or afternoons spent watching the kids play. I couldn’t run across the street for sugar or to grab dinner with when the guys were gone. She was a world away from me.

It’s OK to Grieve

Military spouses are used to change. It’s practically our middle name! Between deployments and PCSing and weird TDY schedules, our lives are in flux. But no matter where we live, we build our support networks to help keep our sanity.

When your friend PCSes while you stay behind, you’re losing a piece of your life. Things are going to change drastically, even though it seems like everything will be remaining the same.

It’s OK to grieve. Give yourself permission to feel sad, to withdraw or to be upset at the military powers that be.

Rebuild Your Network

I tend to rely on just a few close friends at each duty station. It’s easier for me to manage emotionally than a constantly rotating crew. When one of my besties moves away, there’s a big hole in my social and support networks.

Even though I’m missing my pal, I know that it’s important to keep in touch with the other folks in my circle. They might also be missing your PCSed friend too.

Reach out to your local friends and put some events on your calendars. Getting out there and connecting with friends can help you to feel better! Plus, you’ll remind yourself that your support network does still exist. You’ve got people to turn to where you are, even if you forgot about it for a minute.

If you’re truly flying solo, it’s time to make new connections. One great way to find new friends is to connect through your unit’s family readiness group or social activities. Find a group, like Stroller Warriors or religious study or PTO, to join. You’ll find like-minded individuals who might be looking for their “person” too!

Stay in Touch

Remember, your friend is still out there, even though you’re not co-located anymore. While they can’t handle daycare pickup or meet you for lunch, you can still find support from each other.

Our social media world offers us the chance to connect virtually around the world! Share photos, send messages and video chat as often as you can. You can still share a cup of tea over Skype or gripe about the latest visit from Deployment Murphy.

Old-fashioned snail mail is another great way to stay connected. Build care packages to send for special occasions or just whenever the mood strikes. Fill a box or big envelope with letters, local treats and thoughtful gifts that will bring a smile to your friend’s face.

Whenever possible arrange a visit to their new location. You’ll be able to score some amazing face time and explore a new place at the same time. You could make it a girls weekend and leave the kids at home. Or bring the whole family for a giant reunion!

It’s a Small Military

Depending on your branch of service or your spouse’s job, there is a strong chance that you might end up stationed together again!

Many military families keep rotating between the same few duty stations over the course of a career. While you may be separated now, you could end up just down the street or a town apart after the next move.

Even if you don’t end up neighbors quite so soon, you might find mutual friends after your next move. Building new friendships based on your older ones is a great way to expand your circle.

Do you have any tips for building a support network after a close friend moves away? Share your experiences in the comments!

Should I Feed or Tip Our Movers?

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It’s PCS season and once again military spouses are asking the big question, should I tip or feed the movers?

Should I Feed or Tip My Movers During a PCS?

Do you provide food for your movers? What kind of food do you give them?

There is a wide difference in opinion here. Some people always tip, others tip based on performance and for some, the thought of tipping has never crossed their mind.

The same goes for feeding the people that pack up all your precious belongings. Many military families choose to feed the moving crews in some way but there are still people that do not.

There are people that both tip and feed the movers and some that choose to only do one of those things.

There are also people who do neither.

Everyone has a strong opinion on the matter as well.

What Food Should I Feed My Packers or Movers When We PCS?

If you choose to provide food for the moving team, what do you feed them?

Many military spouses responded to this question saying that they buy pizza. I have bought pizza many times. My parents bought the movers pizza when I was growing up as an Army brat so that was the norm, or so I thought.

Also, in the early stages of military life, families don’t tend to have much money to spare on individual meals for a large group of people. We didn’t.

After a multitude of moves, my perspective, as well as wallet, has changed.

Now I give the movers a few options for lunch and then my husband goes to pick it up. I also always make sure to have cold water in the fridge for everyone.

Who wants to eat pizza every day? Could you imagine spending hours packing up things and getting pizza constantly?

Some military spouses say that they provide breakfast or lunch and some provide both. Most said they have water for them and offer pizza, subs, Chick-fil-A or KFC.

A few said they offer some of the beverages they aren’t moving with to the movers. One military spouse said this:

 “My husband once gave them bottles of booze. They loved him for it. I was mortified.”

How Much Should I Tip Our Packers During a PCS?

I haven’t tipped our packers during a PCS. Actually, I hadn’t thought about it until someone recently brought it up.

One military spouse had a good point. She said, “I tip the groomer and nail salon techs for goodness’ sakes.” If she’s going to tip for those services, it makes sense to tip the people who take care of her precious belongings.

When asked if they tip, a number of women said that they were told by the TMO, Traffic Management Office, that tipping was not allowed. Not all moving companies follow this however. Even if that is their policy, some movers will still take the cash tip.

In the civilian world, tipping is part of proper etiquette. The average tip is $20 per mover. That could really add up for military moves if you have separate people that pack your belongings up and then unpack at your destination.

I have had as many as eight people packing up our home. There are a lot of costs involved in moving and an additional $160 for the packers’ tips is not necessarily something I would want to spend my money on. That cost really adds up if you have to tip just as much when the next group unpacks at your new duty station.

Related: 5 Steps You Can Take Today to Make Your PCS Go Smoothly This Summer

Everyone has a different perspective however.

Some people only tip if they notice that the movers are particularly friendly or pack things how they want them to be packed. If you choose to tip, make sure you give the money to each mover personally. Don’t just give it to the leader of the packing crew. They might not actually divvy up the money. Also, handing out tips to each person shows that you recognize their individual effort.

Hopefully, the movers are grateful no matter if you provide a meal or a tip them.

If you are going to buy a meal, give them some options and let them choose. They will likely appreciate having something other than pizza.

If you decide to tip, you choose how much to give them. While $20 per person is the norm in the civilian world, it isn’t necessarily the same for military moves.

Share your PCS tips with us. Do you provide food for your movers? What kind of food do you give them?

5 Tips for Throwing a ‘We’re Moving Overseas’ Party

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Fair winds and following seas. May the road rise to meet you. Sayonara. Adios.

You’re moving overseas and you are probably in full-on packing and panic mode right now. Before you go, take some time to bid adieu to your friends and family stateside.

 5 Tips for Throwing a “We’re Moving Overseas” Party

The last thing you need in the middle of your current crazy is a lot of work. Instead, follow these 5 simple tips for a great farewell bash that might just make your move slightly easier! Plus, you’ll enjoy a memorable night with your friends and moments you’ll remember for a lifetime.

 5 Tips for Throwing a "We're Moving Overseas" Party

It makes sense to combine your PCS-specific tasks into a celebration with friends! The giving away of things during a PCS is a time-honored military family tradition.

Pick a Theme

Keep your party’s theme super simple: here or there.

For “here” parties, stick to things that are classically American or that you can’t get at your next duty station. Ask friends to bring classic side dishes and grill out. Decorate with an Americana theme in red, white and blue. Or pay homage to the things you’ll miss the most, like Target or Dunkin’ Donuts. You know, the essentials of life.

If you’re going with a “there” theme, make everything about your next duty station. Going to Germany? Pick an Oktoberfest theme with beer and brats, even if it’s June. Headed to Japan or Korea? Decorate with pink cherry blossoms and serve lots of noodles and green tea.

Either way, don’t buy a ton of decorations. You’re packing up your whole house, remember? If you don’t have anything that fits a “theme,” put up your holiday lights around the yard, patio, balcony or inside your house.

Set Your Menu

Use this farewell party as an opportunity to clean out your pantry. Put your non-perishable food on the counter. Try to match recipes with what you already have on hand. The goal is to buy as little additional food as possible while using up a good portion of the things in your pantry.

If you think that this might make for some interesting cuisine, you’re right! A 2012 PCS party did, in fact, lead to the creation of cranberry-creamed corn-stuffing balls with a light honey dijon mustard dipping sauce. They were shockingly delicious.

Once you’ve decided on what you’re making, invite your guests to contribute dishes as well. Chances are they’ll bring less inventive food.

Open Bar & BYOB

You can’t take open bottles of booze with you. It seems to be frowned upon. Something about leaking and damage.

Since you can’t take your liquor with you to your next military installation, mix cocktails using whatever you’ve got on hand at your “We’re Moving Overseas” party. Add a blender and frozen fruit for experimental margaritas and daiquiris. Again, the goal is to whittle your stash down to almost nothing.

If your guests want to contribute to the communal beverages or keep something more mainstream for themselves, encourage BYOB.

For the kids, mix up lemonade or serve juice boxes. If you have a lot of fresh or frozen fruit, DIY smoothies are always fun! Just make sure you clearly label the adult beverages.

Activities & Games

Use this party as an opportunity to clear out your closets!

For the kids, pull out every already opened arts and crafts kit you have on hand. Set out coloring books, crayons, markers, stickers and drawing paper at one station. Make a sidewalk chalk station or a painting station, too. Encourage your younger guests to use up everything.

You could also set out water guns, kiddie pools or water games you have on hand.

While the adults might be content to kick back with food and drink, you could also set out lawn games or card games.

Every Party Needs Favors

The giving away of things during a PCS is a time-honored military family tradition. Let your guests know to come with a few sturdy boxes.

Go through the house before the party and collect everything that the movers won’t or can’t pack. This is usually opened non-perishable foods, cleaning supplies, and other liquids. To that, add any clothes, furniture, toys or decor items that you don’t want to store or bring with you.

Sort everything by type and keep your “favors” in one area of the party space. Let your friends know that they should feel free to grab anything that strikes their fancy.

Anything left after the party can be trashed (if in poor/opened condition), donated (good/unopened) or gifted to friends in the last hours of your move. Just be sure to keep something for that final cleanup before housing inspection!

Celebrate Your Overseas Move with Fun and Humor

Yes, some of these tips might be a little tongue in cheek. However, using up pantry items, finishing off opened art or cleaning supplies and giving things away is the reality for PCSing military families.

It makes good sense to combine all these PCS-specific tasks into a big celebration with friends! Also, I’m betting that more than a few military friends have already attended or hosted a similar party before.

At the end of the day, your “we’re moving overseas” party will be remembered for good times spent with friends. Whether you serve a stuffing ball creation is totally your call.

How do you say goodbye to your friends before an overseas move? Tell us in the comments section.

4 Problems Military Children Face That Are Rarely Talked About

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Shining eyes and happy smiles. This is how the public often sees military children. These joyful homecoming images are broadcast on the news, shared on social media and printed in newspapers and magazines.

While everything seems wonderful and picture-perfect, many military children face hidden struggles behind the scenes.

4 Problems Military Children Face That Aren’t Talked About

Anxiety and Separation Fears

Over the last 15 years, deployment and operational tempos have been high. This means that for many military children, mom, dad or both parents have been frequently away from home.

Forward deployed troops have been in active combat zones, taking fire. Even at home, accidents happen during TDY, TAD or routine training exercises.

All of these separations and “what if” situations take a heavy toll on military children. Often these stressors can show up in behavioral, emotional and academic changes.

4 Problems Military Children Face That Are Rarely Talked About

While everything seems wonderful and picture-perfect, many military children face personal struggles.

Children might act out at school, home or both. They could show unusual aggression or attention-seeking behaviors. Some children withdraw or become distant from friends, teachers and family members. Still other children become noticeably upset when their parent leaves, even for short periods, or when there are unexpected changes, like a substitute teacher at school. Grades might decline too.

All of these reactions are common and can coexist.

Solutions:

If you or a teacher notices a significant difference in your child’s emotions, behaviors or academic performance, take notice. Acting sooner rather than later can make all the difference.

A great first step is to reach out to the Military Family Life Counselor on your base or the school’s counselor. Set up a meeting to share your concerns with them and give permission for them to engage with your child. After speaking with your child, they might be able to offer options for ongoing solutions or care.

Another great step is to connect with Military One Source. They offer free, confidential help on the phone and through referrals to providers near you. You might be able to access mental health care and solutions quickly with this resource.

Next, reach out to your child’s school and teachers. Explain your concerns and ask to develop a plan together to help address the changes in your child.

It’s important to approach this as a team, with mental health providers, school and home working together to help your child get back on track.

Gaps in Learning

On average, military children move 6 to 9 times during their K-12 school years. Every time a military family moves, they must adjust to a new set of state learning standards and expectations. Even if a child is able to stay within the DoDEA system, there might still be small gaps in knowledge.

With each move, military children miss several weeks of class time. All that absent time can add up, with missing information about fractions here or confusion about phonics there.

Solutions:

Working with a tutor, either in person or online, is a great way for military families to help close those academic gaps. Tutor.com offers free online tutoring for military families.

Additionally, many military spouses are credentialed teachers. Often these education professionals offer reasonably priced tutoring and have a good understanding of what military children need.

School Transferring Issues

For students in high school, a PCS can spell disaster for their academic ranking, graduation timeline or transcript. Too often there is confusion about which courses are required at different schools or how GPAs are calculated. While schools are supposed to make good faith efforts to ensure on-time graduation, there can still be issues.

Students who have IEPs and 504 Plan, as well as those qualified for Gifted and Talented Education, also face issues when they PCS.

There are no federal protections and only limited state guidelines for students identified as Gifted and Talented. This means that a student could qualify in School A, but be dropped from the program in School B.

IEPs and 504 Plans are federally protected education plans that must be followed with fidelity. Even during a PCS, plans are supposed to be followed as closely as possible. However, different states have varying qualification and classification standards, as well as different resources available. IEPs and 504 Plans can look very different school to school, and state to state.

Plus, for all of these different education plans, the school has the right to re-evaluate students to determine eligibility.

Solutions:

Before you move, connect with your next school and coordinate transferring documents from the old school. Let the new school know about any special circumstances or educational needs your child might have.

As you’re transferring, connect with the School Liaison Officer (SLO) at your next base. They can often assist with transferring everything that your child needs. They should be able to assist you with using MIC3, an agreement designed to assist military children moving between states.

If you get stuck or have concerns, you might need more help than the SLO can provide or that you can’t navigate solo. At that point, it’s time to consider hiring a professional education advocate. There are several advocates in our community that specialize in assisting military families and/or work remotely.

Caring for Injured Parents

All too often, parents return from deployment with physical or mental injuries. These injuries might be very visible or they could be hidden and undiagnosed. Either way, military children are involved in the daily care of that parent and must cope with life changes.

There are many changes to family dynamics and behaviors when a parent returns with hidden or visible injuries. Too often children are shouldering a larger share of adult responsibility at home.

The stressors are similar to experiencing anxiety or stress due to deployments or separations. The symptoms of a child who is overwhelmed with coping with life changes due to their parent’s injuries might be the same as well.

Solutions:

If your family is experiencing changes due to your service member’s injury, it’s important to reach out for help. The Elizabeth Dole Foundation offers resources and connections to help caregivers and families of wounded warriors.

Asking for assistance from other families members, friends or the community is important. It may feel hard, but building a strong team is important for everyone’s long-term success and well being.

Finally, beginning individual and family counseling can be beneficial. You can find a provider through a referral from your doctor or through Military One Source’s resources.

What problems do you think military children face?

(Full disclosure: Meg Flanagan operates MilKids Ed, an education advocacy service and blog for military families.)

When Will My House Feel Like Home?

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Moving. It’s part and parcel to the whole military family way of life.

When Will My House Feel Like Home?

How long does it take until you feel at home in a new duty station?

If you are new to the military, then you might only have a couple of moves under your belt. If you’re like me, a more “seasoned” military spouse and brat, then you probably need a moment to tally all the places you’ve called home.

Hand in hand with constantly finding a “new’ home, comes a lingering feeling of transience.

At what point does that freshly painted on-post duplex or 4-bedroom off-base house start to feel like home?

When I Was a Kid

When I was a kid, my active-duty parents whisked me across oceans to both Europe and Asia. Every trip meant picking out the must-have toy to take with me and saying goodbye to every other toy and possession, sometimes for months at a time.

Nothing made a house feel more like home than getting to unpack all my things and finding just the right spot for each and every toy.

Add in a few Saturday morning cartoons and the occasional batch of homemade chocolate chip cookies and things were golden.

When your household goods finally arrive, make setting up your child’s room a priority. Then, try to get back into a routine as quickly as you can. Bedtime stories, bath time, and yes, even cookies, can help take the fear out of a new place. Young kids are amazingly resilient, but familiar items and routines will help them to adjust.

When I Was a Teen

The older I got, the harder it got to move. While unpacking my things helped me to feel settled, a sense of home never really surfaced until we returned to our normal routine.

Things like school and (I can’t believe I am saying this!) Saturday morning chores made me forget that things were new. I guess nothing says home like homework and a toilet brush.

If you have a teenager in your home (or, God help you, more than one, like me!), the same rules apply about routine. As a parent, try to be patient.

The adjustment might take a little longer for your teenagers, but it will come.

Take advantage of opportunities to create special memories in your new home, even some specifically associated with moving.

Use up some of that seemingly endless supply of packing paper for a paper snowball fight.

Take turns picking a place for dinner so you can explore your new neighborhood.

And make sure you take time to Skype or email friends from your last duty station. A familiar voice can help make the transition a little easier.

When I Was an Adult

For a brief time, in my late teens and early twenties I ventured out into the world on my own. I stayed with extended family and a few friends as I worked my way through college, but it never really felt like home. Even moving into my own apartment felt empty and lonely.

Shortly thereafter I joined the Army. My barracks room became my inspection-ready sanctuary and my barracks-mates my family. But we all knew those digs were only temporary and none of us ever really felt like we were home.

It wasn’t until I married my husband and we started our own family that I felt like I had a home again.  Hanging curtains, painting walls and making sure that every box was unpacked or hidden away in storage was and is always the first step to making it feel like home again for us.

Enjoy the process of discovery that comes from unpacking all of those things you love. Then, once you’ve emptied all of those boxes, make a point to entertain a few guests if you can.

Nothing makes a house feel more like a home than putting out a welcome mat and extending a little hospitality.

Dozens of Moves Later

Just over a year ago, we purchased what will be our last home as an active-duty Army family. Bits and pieces of the life we have built are seen in every corner, but it is only recently that this house has started to feel like home to me.

My kids are nearly grown, with one already discussing plans to move out. And so, the idea of home is changing once again.

How can it be home if we are not all together? Will our home become just a living museum of the memories collected as we traveled from place to place?

I suppose only time will tell.

How long does it take until you feel at home in a new duty station?

What is PCS Remorse and How to Get Over It

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As summer draws to an end, most of us who followed a set of PCS orders to a new duty station have arrived, found a place to live and unpacked our household goods.

The whirlwind rush of cross-country or transcontinental travel has dissipated. You’ve identified the best route to the commissary, clinic and a decent take-out place. And now that the shock and excitement of all things new has begun to wear off, the reality of our current situation begins to set in.

Maybe your new on-base housing is sub-par to your previous location.

Maybe the weather is always cold or gray and rainy.

Maybe the neighbors are standoffish and the only options for extracurricular activities for the kids is the one thing they aren’t interested in.

And to top it all off, the friends you left behind keep posting updates from your favorite old hang-outs. Or worse yet, maybe your milspouse bestie has PCSed to some tropical wonderland and her Instagram account is overflowing with pictures of sunsets, beaches and fruity umbrella drinks.

Suddenly, everywhere you look things are wrong and you’d give anything to pack everything back up and go somewhere, anywhere else.

There’s no doubt, you’ve got it.

You’ve got PCS remorse and you’ve got it bad.

Chin up chickadee. While your apprehension and dissatisfaction with a less-than-stellar duty station is normal, you can overcome that negative outlook. All it takes is a little adjustment in perspective.

What is PCS Remorse and How to Get Over It

Have you ever found yourself hating your duty station?

Look for Something Good to Focus on

No matter how bad something is, there is always a silver lining. And if that little voice in your head tells you things are bad, it can color how you see everything around you. Even the good.

Make a point to find something good, something you like about your new location.. Even if it’s just the fact that the water pressure in the shower is out of this world, seeing one good thing can be a stepping stone to others.

Remember that Social Media isn’t Always the Whole Truth

Yes, those amazing tropical sunsets are enviable, but try to keep in mind that most people only tend to share the best and most positive aspects of their lives. So while the beach is pretty, the horrendous traffic, dinosaur-sized mosquitoes, and $8 gallon of milk offer balance for all of that dreamy scenery.

Get Mad, Get Sad and Then Get Over It

Change is hard, especially when it’s abrupt or doesn’t live up to expectations.

It’s OK to get mad or to be a little blue. Those are normal and natural emotions that must be expressed in order to be resolved. Give yourself some time to grief and adjust, but then focus on making the most of what you’ve got.

While things might not be great, they can almost always be worse. Decide to change your perspective and then work to make it happen.

Sometimes finding things to look forward to can help. Maybe it’s taking a long bath every Friday night. Maybe it’s pizza for dinner on Sundays or a nightly jog up to a pretty vantage point. Whatever it is, let yourself enjoy it.

Forget everything else and live in that moment. Joy can brighten your outlook and help to make everything else look a little less glum.

Make a Plan for Distraction

If simply going about your daily routine isn’t enough to shake off those negative feelings, make deliberate plans to engage in an activity that will distract you.

A new exercise routine, planting a garden, taking up a new hobby, volunteering or even going back to school can help you find something to devote your energy to. Focus your energy on learning and growing despite your surroundings. You’ll be amazed at how much it helps to make even the bleakest of days look better.

Have you ever found yourself hating your duty station? What did you do to get through that challenging time?

How to Handle an OCONUS PCS in 25 Steps

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Whether you were hoping for this assignment or you winced when the PCS orders hit, an OCONUS move is not for the faint of heart. You have a lot of things you need to do and you need to do them all right now.

How to Handle an OCONUS PCS in 23 Steps

You will survive your international military move.

Don’t stress. Just follow our handy guide to rock this PCS!

How to Handle an OCONUS Move in 25 Steps

Hit Pause

Why? Because there are no official orders, just the “word” that these documents are coming. While you have tons of things to do, very few things can proceed without at least web orders.

Passports

Planning to travel while OCONUS? Apply for tourist passports for your family now. During peak times, passports can take up to 8 weeks to process. You will want to have these well before you leave, just in case. Take double passport pictures now, and only use one set for the tourist passports. Keep reading to find out why!

Pet Health

Have a pet? Great! Just make sure that you read up on the import requirements for your OCONUS duty station. Most overseas countries require additional vaccinations and quarantine periods.

Book your vet visit now. Be sure to bring hard copies of the animal import requirements to all future vet visits. Also, record all dates related to quarantine in your phone or planner.

PCM Check-In

Schedule a visit with your PCM even before web orders hit. Let your doctor know where you are headed and when you think you will be leaving. Ask that they review your medical record off-the-books and alert you to any bumps in the road. Do the same for your children.

Shots, Shots, Shots

Everybody gets shots! We’re talking HepA, B and C. Let’s add in a little TDAP and MMR for good measure. When your PCM checks your records, ask them to confirm your vaccinations and compare your records to the requirements for your next duty station. Then head to immunizations and roll up your sleeves.

Check Housing

Still no orders? No problem! Check out housing while you wait. Be sure to investigate all possible options, but remember that you probably won’t get to choose where you live. Do a double take when you see how much space the OCONUS houses offer. (Hint: it’s smaller than American base housing.)

Have a Yard Sale

After seeing how much space you might have, hold a yard sale! Try to sell your bulky or rarely used items. Put all of your profits into your pet travel fund.

Join Facebook Groups

There are Facebook groups for every duty station. Go find yours now. Then ask:

  • How does housing work?
  • How do I get a pet over here?
  • Will my family survive this?
  • What happens on the medical clearance boards?

Wait for answers patiently. After all, orders are still not “official” yet.

Research Pet Travel

After checking with Facebook, contact your local travel office to find out about pet travel. When you hear that the military flights have pet spots, rejoice! When you hear all the restrictions, cry. Then look into commercial travel and be happy for the yard sale money.

As soon as you have confirmed travel arrangements, work on getting your furry friends either on the same flight or ready to travel in another way. There are several reputable pet transit services out there and a few airlines that will fly military pets as unaccompanied baggage.

Celebrate

Hooray! Orders have officially arrived and you may pass GO. Be prepared to wait some more.

Health Check

You may now proceed with the overseas medical screening. Luckily, you’ve updated your vaccinations and previewed your medical records for any hiccups. Ask your PCM’s office for a hard copy of your health record. Then call the overseas screening office at the military treatment facility (the on-base clinic or hospital) closest to you. Schedule an appointment ASAP.

Be prepared to answer deeply personal questions about health issues that have long been resolved or are controlled. Wait nervously while a doctor you have never seen before decides if you are healthy enough to move OCONUS.

Be Ready to Wait

Even though orders are “official,” you are still waiting. Why? Medical and area clearance. Before the moving and travel offices will book you, your family will need to have area clearance. To get area clearance, you need medical clearance.

But What About the Car?

No, seriously, what are you going to do with the car(s)? In all the hustle to get the pets, house and humans ready, you forgot the multi-ton machine in your garage.

You have a few choices: store it, ship it or sell it.

The military will likely cover the costs (ship or store) of one car per family. If you were thinking “ship it” you might want to double check that it’s allowed where you are going. If not, start thinking about whether you want to store it or sell it.

Motivate

Do repeat image searches for your OCONUS duty station to remind you of how awesome it’s going to be once you do arrive.

Pet File

As your pet proceeds with quarantine and vaccinations keep every single piece of paper in one place. Make copies of everything. Get every copy notarized according to your new location’s requirements. Double check every document to ensure it’s been filled out correctly and with the right color ink.

Passports Part 2

Remember those extra passport pictures? Pull them out and bring them with you to get your no-fee government passport. You’ll go through your base to do this using a special form and documents. You will not have to pay for these. They will look exactly like your tourist passports.

Moving Dates

There will be 3 parts to this move: long-term storage, household goods and unaccompanied baggage. If you are lucky, there will be 3 separate individual moving days. Schedule long-term storage last so that anything that won’t fit in the other 2 shipments will stay stateside.

Double check your weight allowance for your duty station. Plan another yard sale.

Schedule Travel

Talk to the people who book your flights. Find out about how the travel options work. Ask:

  • Does everyone have to go on the military flight?
  • Can dependents elect to travel commercially and be reimbursed?
  • What about pets?

Expect to not like what you hear. Return to this office regularly to try to find a solution that works for you.

Sort Your Stuff

Sort everything you own into piles: store, trash, sell or donate, household goods, unaccompanied and suitcases. Try to estimate the total weight you will be bringing with you.

Hold another yard sale to get rid of extra weight and things you don’t want to store for 3 years. Be ready to give precious documents and photos to relatives for the duration.

Pack It In

Once everything is sorted, get packing! Luckily, the government contracted movers will do your big shipments, but it is smart to physically separate your stuff.

Put your packed suitcases in a separate locked or blocked room. Hire a babysitter and schedule your pets for day care.

Then kick back and make sure that all of your things are properly packed, labeled and accounted for.

Give Away

Do you have some things that just didn’t fit in any of your shipments? Time to give those things away to your nearest and dearest! Pass on those cleaning supplies, random pantry items and extra toilet paper.

Drive Time

It’s time to make the final, final car decision. Bring your car to the designated place if you are shipping it or storing it. Confirm where your car is headed and what the terms of the agreement include. Or get ready to list the car for sale. Get ready to be low balled if you’re selling it personally. You can also sell your vehicle to a dealership, which is way less stressful.

Go Home

Moving OCONUS means that you will be very far from family for several years. Take some time to visit your family and friends before you take off. Eat your local comfort foods, visit Target and stock up on anything you might miss overseas.

Wheels Up

It’s time for take-off! Your bags are packed and devices are fully charged. Before you board make sure you’ve packed:

  • Enough snacks for the flights
  • Entertainment that is easy to carry
  • Empty water bottles
  • Power strip, chargers and headphones
  • Blanket, travel pillow and earplugs or eye mask

Touch Down

You’ve finally landed in your OCONUS duty station. Congrats! You survived your international military move. You have 3 years before you have to tackle this beast again.

What are your best tips for an OCONUS PCS? Share your advice in the comments!

6 Tips for Bringing Your Pet on Your Cross-Country PCS Road Trip

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Woohoo! PCS road trip! Load up the car, the kids and the pet. Before you get everyone buckled in, hit pause to make sure that your furry friends are ready to make the journey.

6 Tips for Bringing Your Pet on Your Cross-Country PCS Road Trip

Don’t try to sneak your pet into a non-pet-friendly hotel. Plan instead to book your overnight stays at pet-friendly hotels during your road trip. Some even offer military discounts.

6 Tips for Bringing Your Pet on Your Cross-Country PCS Road Trip

Plan Your Route

Decide which way you’re going to be going and take into account when you are traveling. During the summer months, going through the desert and deep south can be pretty hot. Going the northern route during winter might get chilly. While these factors don’t need to alter your trip, you should take them into consideration for pit stops and water breaks.

Book out your hotels in advance. Many hotels are pet-friendly and offer military discounts. However, a lot of hotels also charge significant fees for your pet to stay. La Quinta welcomes cats and dogs for free. Many Starwood and Marriott brand hotels are pet-friendly too.

Try to be reasonable about the distance you can really cover each day. Then look for hotels at or around that target distance.

Pick Out Pit Stops

During your road trip, you’re going to need to stop a few times a day. As you are traveling, try to check out your preferred route for good places to stretch everyone’s legs. Look for parks, state-maintained rest stops and similar places.

Keep in mind that pets cannot ever stay in parked cars. So food breaks need to trend more toward take-out and away from sit-down restaurants.

The same is true for longer stops on the route. Your major attractions should be places that are dog-friendly, have boarding facilities nearby or where you have a hotel room.

Health Check

Many pets are awesome on the road. Some are exactly the opposite. If you are concerned about your pet’s behavior or health on your road trip, pay your vet a visit. Also get refills of any medication, just in case you are caught in between prescriptions on the road.

You can ask about calming remedies to help with anxiety. You can also get information about best practices for food, water and keeping your pets cool.

If you are traveling with a non-traditional pet, your vet will be the best resource for you.

Car Safety

When you are traveling with a pet, it’s important to always secure him when the car is in motion. Use a pet seatbelt or place your pet in a kennel during travel. When using a kennel, it’s best to also secure this in your car.

To keep your pet hydrated, freeze water into their bowl or a pet bottle. Offer small amounts of food during travel, but don’t overdo it to avoid carsickness.

Before your big trip, take a few smaller trips to prepare. End at the dog park or another favorite spot. Offer treats and praise.

Loading the Car

When you’re driving, think about the seating arrangements and what you need to pack. Since you are PCSing, you will be loaded down with a bunch of your personal belongings and several suitcases.

Keep your pet’s essentials in an easy-to-access location and pack your hotel stay things in one bag that you will always be taking in with you. Only pack enough, plus a day or two, of food and treats for your pet. You can always buy more food on the way but will need all the extra space you can get during trip.

Remember to stash a few of your pet’s favorite toys in the kennel or in their designated space. This can give your pet something familiar to play with. It can also help occupy and calm your pet during the journey and in hotels.

If your children will be eating during the trip, make sure that the food is pet safe. Chances are good that they will drop or “share” a few bites with Fido or Fluffy along the way.

Pro tip: keep plastic shopping bags in your car for potty breaks.

During Hotel Stays

When you arrive, make sure you are upfront about the pet staying with you. If you try to sneak an animal into a non-pet-friendly hotel, and they find out, there will be a hefty cleaning fee. The same can be the case even at pet-friendly places if they place you in a non-pet room.

As you move your essential things into the room for the night, try your best to team up. One adult can take the dog for a walk or sit in the room with the pet while the other adult ferries the luggage and kids.

Ask at the front desk about safe walking routes and places to avoid. You should also clarify whether the hotel has a pet waste disposal area or bags. If not, use some of those shopping bags.

Do your best to keep the pet noise to a minimum, especially at night. If your pet makes a mess, clean it up as best you can.

If you are planning to be out of the room, make your pet comfortable and secure. For pets that are noisy when you leave them alone, think hard about the hotel’s pet policy before you leave. Or try out ways to curb the noise before you leave.

Are you planning to fly instead of drive to your next duty station? Check out our article on air travel tips for pets.

How Do Unemployment Benefits Work for Military Spouses Living Overseas?

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Filing for unemployment isn’t as complicated as it once was. If you are a military spouse that has lost a job due to PCSing with your service member, you may be eligible for unemployment benefits. There are many factors that go into determining if you qualify along with how much money you can receive. Finding out if you do qualify and how much you may receive does not have to be difficult anymore as most states have this information readily available online.

How Do Unemployment Benefits Work for Military Spouses Living Overseas?

Many states do not spell out whether moving overseas qualifies or disqualifies a military spouse from receiving unemployment benefits.

There are now 46 states, as well as the District of Columbia, that provide unemployment insurance for military spouses that leave their jobs specifically to follow their service members on a new assignment.

Only Idaho, Louisiana, North Dakota and Ohio consider leaving a job for this reason to be “voluntary” and therefore not a good reason for leaving a job under any wavier.

Ohio worked on legislation last year to include military spouse relocation due to a PCS to be eligible for compensation. It however stalled in the state House in November with some opposing the bill saying they are already borrowing money from the government and without asking for further funds, this would create a heavier tax on businesses.

When filing for unemployment, make sure you apply in the state in which you worked; not the state or country that you have moved to. If you worked in any of those 4 states that do not offer unemployment for military spouses, then you do not qualify unless there are other circumstances you can claim exemption with. A link to each state’s unemployment information is available here. If you are unsure whether you qualify or not, go ahead and apply anyway. You can always file an appeal if you are denied the first time.

Some states have a specific clause under qualifications for unemployment to account for military spouses relocating out of state while others simply have a blanket statement for any spouse that moves a specific distance from their current job to follow a spouse to their new job assignment. The latter is known as a trailing spouse and applies to any spouse, military or not. Both of these are considered a voluntary quit with good cause.

Many states do not spell out whether moving overseas qualifies or disqualifies a military spouse from receiving unemployment benefits. Each state has its own laws regarding unemployment. There are a few states that have laws that specifically exclude moves overseas however. If you can make a case that you will be able to apply for jobs in America while overseas, then you may be approved for unemployment benefits after all.

Remember that each state is different and that laws constantly change. If you did not qualify a few moves ago, don’t be deterred this time. Perhaps the laws have changed in your favor. For example, Virginia only passed the military spouse unemployment compensation bill in 2014 and Ohio is still considering theirs.

Not only does every state have its own rules for qualification, but they also have different steps you must take to get unemployment benefits. The amount of compensation you may receive and the duration of benefits may differ as well.

Before you leave your job, make sure you check your state’s guidelines first. While leaving your job early to prepare for a move or to take a vacation before you PCS may sound good, you may lose out on unemployment if you quit too early. South Carolina for example only allows a person to resign from their job 15 days prior to a move.

Things to know when filing for unemployment:

  • Most states have a minimum amount of time that you must have worked in that state to qualify.
  • The amount of money you will receive is based on a percentage of your earnings over the previous 52 weeks.
  • Most states cap the amount of time you can receive unemployment benefits to 26 weeks.
  • Unemployment benefits are taxed. You will have to report them on your federal income tax return.
  • Filing for unemployment does not penalize your former employer. Unemployment insurance comes from the state’s general unemployment fund.

Go to your state’s website for unemployment and read all of the rules before you quit your job. When filing, you will likely need a copy of your service member’s PCS orders. If you leave a job in America to follow your spouse on their job assignment overseas, you may qualify for unemployment. You would need to be able to show that you are able to continue looking for work from an American business while you are abroad however.

If you worked while overseas with your spouse and have now received orders back to the United States you may be wondering if you can get unemployment that way. In some cases it is possible. You paid taxes on the money you earned abroad. Some of that money goes into the unemployment fund. You can apply for unemployment in your state of residency if you worked for an international company. If you worked for an American company while overseas, then you would apply for unemployment benefits from the company’s state of home office.

What questions do you have about unemployment? Post them in the comments section and we will try to answer them in a future article.

How to Move Your Plants with You to Your New Duty Station

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When trying to make that rental property or on-post house feel like home, if you are anything like me, adding something green and growing is a must. Two (green) thumbs up if that new home also has room on the back deck from some container gardening, or better yet, enough yard space for a garden.

But no matter how hard you work to cultivate that bumper crop of cucumbers or nurture the philodendron that has occupied the corner of your living room for so long it’s practically a family member, PCSing often means you have to leave your plants behind.

How to Move Your Plants with You to Your New Duty Station

Have you moved your plants from one duty station to another?

But, if you happen to be preparing for a CONUS PCS, then you may just be able to take some of your little leafy friends with you. It just takes a little bit of planning.

Before you move any plant, make sure you check local laws for both the state you are departing and the one you are about to call home.

Some states restrict or prohibit the import or export of some types of plants. The reasons are many. The most common of which is that some plants can destroy or negatively impact local habitats, so check the law first.

House Plants

Some packing companies will allow you to ship plants, especially if the pick-up and delivery dates are a week or less apart. If your mover will ship plants, ask if they have special boxes for just this sort of thing.

If not, you can prepare your plants for shipment by lining the inside of a sturdy box (big enough to completely surround your plant) with plastic. You’ll also need enough bubble wrap to pack the plant in the box to keep it from tipping over.  You might also consider cutting some holes in the side or top of the box to let as much light into the box as possible without damaging the integrity and sturdiness of the box.

Oh, and make sure your plants are the last thing on the truck. It will help make sure they don’t get damaged because something heavy gets stacked on top and it will ensure they are the first thing off the truck when the movers arrive at your new address.

Most indoor plants can survive in the darkened conditions of a packing box with a good watering for about 3 to 5 days. If it’s going to be longer than that before your household goods arrive, then consider shipping it ahead to a friend or ask a neighbor to ship it to you after you get to your duty station.

If your plan is to keep your plants with you, say in the back of your car while you are moving, just make sure you give them some time in the sun and if temperatures get extreme (too hot or too cold) take them inside with you when you stop to rest for the night.

Outdoor Plants

For outdoor plants, the process gets a little trickier. You can give yourself a head start by planning for a potential move when your first plan your garden. And just like house plants, if you are going to ship an outdoor plant, the trip can’t be more than 3 to 5 days inside a box.

Bulbs are a great option for replanting. Daffodils, tulips, peonies and countless others all start with a bulb. While you can dig up bulbs at any time during the year, it’s best to try to pull them out of the ground before spring (this might mean the previous fall if you have a heavy winter season.) Allow your bulbs to dry a bit away from sun and wind and then store them in a paper bag. They are fragile, so pack them like you would anything else that is breakable.

Small shrubs and trees can also be transported without too much hassle. When removing them for transport, just make sure you keep the entire root ball intact. Wrap the entire ball in plastic, and then use paper or plastic wrap to ensure the remainder of the plant isn’t damaged during the move.

If taking a big bush or tree with you isn’t possible, consider taking a cutting. Roses, violets, begonias, citrus trees, poinsettias and geraniums are popular option. Take the time to research the best way to take a cutting for each type of plant and just like the other options, try to limit the time the cuttings are without sunlight and water to no more than 5 days.

If you happen to grow plants with seeds that are easily harvested, like watermelon or squash, take the time to dry the seeds, then store them in a paper envelope and when the season is right, plant the newest generation at your new home.

Have you moved your plants from one duty station to another? What tips would you offer?