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How to PCS Without Your Service Member

04/24/2015 By Julie Provost

PCSing is stressful whatever the circumstances, but having to do it without your service member by your side can make the stress that comes with moving even worse. However, spouses move by themselves all the time. For whatever reason the service member just can’t be there to help with the move.

When my husband joined the Army he was sent to Germany and my son and I had to wait in the U.S. until all the paperwork was taken care of. I know that sometimes they send everyone over together but that just wasn’t the case for us. We waited 4.5 months to join him.

A very long 4.5 months in which I had to get all the paperwork we needed submitted, schedule the move, clean out the apartment, get the car ready to ship, drive the car to the shipping location and fly alone to Europe with my son.

That move was one of the most stressful moments in our military history. I was also brand new to military life which complicated the whole process. I wasn’t sure what to expect and I didn’t quite understand how the military worked. I made some mistakes but looking back I think information like this would have really helped me.

What tips do you have for tackling a solo PCS?

Here’s a short guide to PCSing alone.

Make lists. Create a PCS binder to keep everything together. Find out what you need to do and when you need to have it done by. Put everything on a calender. Then, make everything you have to do that day for the PCS a priority. Keeping organized will go a long way in getting you through it.

Make sure your Power of Attorney is up to date and won’t expire during the PCS. The worst thing would be to have the POA expire during the process when your husband is on the other side of the country or even the world. You want to be able to do anything you might have to do and you will need a POA to get that paperwork done.
Ask for help. Can one of your parents, siblings or best friends come out and help you? I am not sure what I would have done without my parents coming out to help me during the moving process. They watched my toddler while the movers came. My mom helped me drive up to St. Louis to drop off the car. Not everyone will have this option but if you think someone might be able to help you in this way, ask for it.

Talk the PCS over. Make sure you and your service member is on the same page. If one of you is going to be picking out your new home, make sure you are clear on what you are expecting. Make sure you both know what your expectations are. Talk the process over when it starts to feel a little too stressful. Remember that others have done this before and you can too.

Whether you are PCSing to the next state over or going overseas, there is going to be a lot to do. By staying ahead of the game, keeping organized and talking with your spouse about what needs to be done, you will make the process a little easier.

Have you moved without your service member? What tips do you have for tackling a solo PCS?

Preparing Your Military Child to be the New Kid on Base

03/25/2015 By Julie Provost

As a military family you know that moving is a part of the deal. You may move every 3 to 4 years. This means your children will have to be the new kid every few years. With that comes a lot of emotions and could lead to some frustrating situations.

I did not grow up in a military family. I lived in the same house from the time I was 5 years old until I moved out at age 18. I went to elementary school, junior high and high school with a lot of the same people. I was never the new girl. I never knew what it was like to go into a new classroom not knowing anyone. I never had to search for friends in the third grade because I had just moved to that city from a different state.

If you are in a military family you might be worried about your children having to be the new kid every few years.

You might worry about them being bullied. You might ask yourself if being a military kid will make it more likely that they will be bullied? That can happen to a new kid who is just trying to figure out their place in the new school.

The fact is, bullying can happen anywhere. I saw and experienced it in my own non-military childhood. Bullying can happen on military bases all over the country. Wherever there are kids, bullying can be an issue. However, that doesn’t mean that as a military child your son or daughter has accept it.

Here are some things you can do with your child to help them overcome possible situations where they could be bullied.

It is a good idea to go over what is going to happen with the move before you actually get there. Tell your children about their new school and even the route to get there. Let them know that it’s OK to be nervous and that most people are when they go to a new school. Letting them know that it is normal to feel the way they do can go a long way in helping them have a lot of confidence on that first day. The less lost they feel the easier it will be for them to reach out to others and not feel so alone.

Teach them to seek out other children that look friendly and to not be afraid to say hi to a student that might become a new friend. Go over different ways they can talk to others and which questions they can ask to get to know someone. This will help them feel more comfortable when they are trying to find a new friend.

You also want to let them know what they can do if they are bullied. Explain who they should talk to if they experience bullying and where to go for help.

Even if your child is not the new kid it is a good idea to teach them how to treat others and how to be a friendly person to everyone you might meet. Explain to them that the new girl or boy in their class might become their best friend if they are open enough to really get to know them.

Moving is stressful and being worried about your child at a new school can be hard. Like a lot of other things in the military world, being prepared can go a long way in making your child feel comfortable.

Has your military child dealt with bullying at a new school? Tell us in the comments section.

10 Tips for an Overseas PCS

03/11/2015 By Kimber Green

Is it PCS season already?

Everyone I know seems to be moving in the next few months and that includes my family as well. A few of my close friends are going on to great adventures in Spain. We, on the other hand, are only moving up to Maryland, not quite as exciting. While I’m simply house hunting online and slowly decluttering, my friends with an overseas PCS are running around town trying to get so many things done. PCSing overseas takes a lot more prepping than simply moving one state over.

When we move this summer, it will be to my 17th house. For some people that may sound like a lot of moving around and for others it might not. I’ve lived in Germany and Australia and all over America as well. While I would love to be moving overseas again, I am happy to not be feeling the stress these women are as they race to check so many things off their list before the big move.

I spoke with three of them today and collectively we’ve come up with a few tips to make your upcoming overseas move easier.

Have you been stationed outside of the United States?

Ensure you have all the paperwork you need to complete for the move and know when it is due. Double-check with your family sponsor that you have everything together so you aren’t running around last-minute trying to get things done.
Make a PCS binder to keep important documents in such as: a copy of the military orders, birth certificates, your marriage license and car titles. Take this binder with you. Do not let the movers pack it in your household goods shipment.
Get your passport in advance. It can take some time to get them back so go ahead and apply for one the moment your spouse starts talking about orders.
Schedule doctor and dentist appointments as soon as possible. If you have a military provider, it may take a while to get an appointment. You’ll need to make sure all your shots are up-to-date and have proof of it. You’ll want to get a hard copy of your medical and dental records as well and if you have prescription medication, you’ll want to ensure you have enough to make it until you get an appointment at your next duty station.
Moving overseas? You’ll want to get a hard copy of your medical and dental records.
Sell unnecessary belongings. The less you have to pack and unpack the better. Will you really need the items that you’ve stored in your garage or those that you never unpacked from the previous move? It’s time to declutter. There are many Facebook online yard sale pages you can go through; you can sell items on Craigslist, eBay or through the paper. If it doesn’t all sell, you can always donate items to a local charity and on-base thrift store.
Be prepared to sell or store your car. Do you really want to take your Toyota Tundra to Spain? Just imagine trying to drive that giant truck down the narrow street and forget about parking it. You’ll want to look into storing it, selling it or trading it in.
If someone is registered with the Exceptional Family Member Program (EFMP), you’ll want to make sure all of their information is up-to-date in the system. You can follow these tips to make an EFMP folder with all the pertinent information such as: an individualized education plan (if applicable), school paperwork and medical documents.
Find out about the military installation you’re moving to. MilitaryShoppers has a Best Bases section where military families have provided their opinion on different locations and offer recommendations on where to live or not to live.
Is there a restaurant you’ve always wanted to try? Add it to your bucket list.
Make a bucket list of things you want to do before you move. Have you really seen all the sites in the town you live in now? Is there a restaurant you’ve always wanted to try or a park you’ve wanted to stroll through? Take some time, if you can, and soak up the local atmosphere. You might not get the chance to do it again.
Make arrangements to visit friends and family before you go. Saying goodbye to friends is part of military life unfortunately. Make sure you take a moment to say a proper goodbye and let them know how much you have appreciated their friendship. Moving of course doesn’t have to mean that friendship is over; I have many friends from different bases. It’s a good time to let them know how you feel though. If you can, make a trip home to see your family. For some, it might be a long time before you see them again.

These are just a few recommendations based on previous and current moves we’ve all made. Hopefully these tips will help you prepare and you will feel confident and excited about your move.

10 Tips for Military Families Moving Overseas

Are you ready for PCS season?

Have you been stationed outside of the United States? What tips do you have for an overseas PCS?

Cats and Dogs Can Live in Harmony

05/19/2014 By Jessica Aycock

The biggest worry I had about moving in with my guy wasn’t which dishes to keep or where to put my (smaller) television. I was worried about how our pets would get along.

It doesn’t always have to be a fight with cats and dogs.

My cats (both male, 8 and 9 years old) had never met a dog before and are incredibly spoiled.

We tried introducing the cats to his dog –a 95-pound, 7-year-old female German shepherd– before the move and it did not go well. My cat, ironically named Lovie, bit my man after trying to attack his dog. Needless to say, I was convinced that our animals would be separated for life.

But our family, like any family needs time to blend and we found that time was all it took for our 3 “kids” to adjust to the change. (Or at least ignore each other, like good siblings.)

It took a few weeks of close supervision before they finally understood that they’re all here for good.

3 Tips for Cats and Dogs to Live in Harmony

How do your pets get along?

Here are 3 tips to get cats and dogs to cohabit without bloodshed.

Take it slow. Don’t force them to interact. Cats especially aren’t fond of being forced to do anything. Let them get used to the new space and new players on their own time. Use calming tools, if necessary. We used Bach Rescue Remedy and ComfortZone diffusers for both the cats and the dog.

Give them their own space. Cats need to feel like they have a safe haven in which to escape. We put a baby gate in an extra bedroom’s doorway so the cats could go in and out without worrying about the dog. The dog quickly learned that space wasn’t for her.

When they do interact, supervise but don’t interfere unless necessary. Just like siblings, they have to figure out what’s what on their own terms. Yes, our dog is about 5 times the size of the cats, but she won’t do much more than sniff them. If she’s too close, they let her know.

Honestly, the one with the biggest adjustment was me. Letting go of the worry and trusting that they would be OK was difficult for me. I wanted to hover all the time. But, the more I let them be, the faster they relaxed and got acquainted.

Maybe one day they will be best friends …

Or not. They are pretty set in their ways.

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