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Should I Feed or Tip Our Movers?

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It’s PCS season and once again military spouses are asking the big question, should I tip or feed the movers?

Should I Feed or Tip My Movers During a PCS?

Do you provide food for your movers? What kind of food do you give them?

There is a wide difference in opinion here. Some people always tip, others tip based on performance and for some, the thought of tipping has never crossed their mind.

The same goes for feeding the people that pack up all your precious belongings. Many military families choose to feed the moving crews in some way but there are still people that do not.

There are people that both tip and feed the movers and some that choose to only do one of those things.

There are also people who do neither.

Everyone has a strong opinion on the matter as well.

What Food Should I Feed My Packers or Movers When We PCS?

If you choose to provide food for the moving team, what do you feed them?

Many military spouses responded to this question saying that they buy pizza. I have bought pizza many times. My parents bought the movers pizza when I was growing up as an Army brat so that was the norm, or so I thought.

Also, in the early stages of military life, families don’t tend to have much money to spare on individual meals for a large group of people. We didn’t.

After a multitude of moves, my perspective, as well as wallet, has changed.

Now I give the movers a few options for lunch and then my husband goes to pick it up. I also always make sure to have cold water in the fridge for everyone.

Who wants to eat pizza every day? Could you imagine spending hours packing up things and getting pizza constantly?

Some military spouses say that they provide breakfast or lunch and some provide both. Most said they have water for them and offer pizza, subs, Chick-fil-A or KFC.

A few said they offer some of the beverages they aren’t moving with to the movers. One military spouse said this:

 “My husband once gave them bottles of booze. They loved him for it. I was mortified.”

How Much Should I Tip Our Packers During a PCS?

I haven’t tipped our packers during a PCS. Actually, I hadn’t thought about it until someone recently brought it up.

One military spouse had a good point. She said, “I tip the groomer and nail salon techs for goodness’ sakes.” If she’s going to tip for those services, it makes sense to tip the people who take care of her precious belongings.

When asked if they tip, a number of women said that they were told by the TMO, Traffic Management Office, that tipping was not allowed. Not all moving companies follow this however. Even if that is their policy, some movers will still take the cash tip.

In the civilian world, tipping is part of proper etiquette. The average tip is $20 per mover. That could really add up for military moves if you have separate people that pack your belongings up and then unpack at your destination.

I have had as many as eight people packing up our home. There are a lot of costs involved in moving and an additional $160 for the packers’ tips is not necessarily something I would want to spend my money on. That cost really adds up if you have to tip just as much when the next group unpacks at your new duty station.

Related: 5 Steps You Can Take Today to Make Your PCS Go Smoothly This Summer

Everyone has a different perspective however.

Some people only tip if they notice that the movers are particularly friendly or pack things how they want them to be packed. If you choose to tip, make sure you give the money to each mover personally. Don’t just give it to the leader of the packing crew. They might not actually divvy up the money. Also, handing out tips to each person shows that you recognize their individual effort.

Hopefully, the movers are grateful no matter if you provide a meal or a tip them.

If you are going to buy a meal, give them some options and let them choose. They will likely appreciate having something other than pizza.

If you decide to tip, you choose how much to give them. While $20 per person is the norm in the civilian world, it isn’t necessarily the same for military moves.

Share your PCS tips with us. Do you provide food for your movers? What kind of food do you give them?

When Will My House Feel Like Home?

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Moving. It’s part and parcel to the whole military family way of life.

When Will My House Feel Like Home?

How long does it take until you feel at home in a new duty station?

If you are new to the military, then you might only have a couple of moves under your belt. If you’re like me, a more “seasoned” military spouse and brat, then you probably need a moment to tally all the places you’ve called home.

Hand in hand with constantly finding a “new’ home, comes a lingering feeling of transience.

At what point does that freshly painted on-post duplex or 4-bedroom off-base house start to feel like home?

When I Was a Kid

When I was a kid, my active-duty parents whisked me across oceans to both Europe and Asia. Every trip meant picking out the must-have toy to take with me and saying goodbye to every other toy and possession, sometimes for months at a time.

Nothing made a house feel more like home than getting to unpack all my things and finding just the right spot for each and every toy.

Add in a few Saturday morning cartoons and the occasional batch of homemade chocolate chip cookies and things were golden.

When your household goods finally arrive, make setting up your child’s room a priority. Then, try to get back into a routine as quickly as you can. Bedtime stories, bath time, and yes, even cookies, can help take the fear out of a new place. Young kids are amazingly resilient, but familiar items and routines will help them to adjust.

When I Was a Teen

The older I got, the harder it got to move. While unpacking my things helped me to feel settled, a sense of home never really surfaced until we returned to our normal routine.

Things like school and (I can’t believe I am saying this!) Saturday morning chores made me forget that things were new. I guess nothing says home like homework and a toilet brush.

If you have a teenager in your home (or, God help you, more than one, like me!), the same rules apply about routine. As a parent, try to be patient.

The adjustment might take a little longer for your teenagers, but it will come.

Take advantage of opportunities to create special memories in your new home, even some specifically associated with moving.

Use up some of that seemingly endless supply of packing paper for a paper snowball fight.

Take turns picking a place for dinner so you can explore your new neighborhood.

And make sure you take time to Skype or email friends from your last duty station. A familiar voice can help make the transition a little easier.

When I Was an Adult

For a brief time, in my late teens and early twenties I ventured out into the world on my own. I stayed with extended family and a few friends as I worked my way through college, but it never really felt like home. Even moving into my own apartment felt empty and lonely.

Shortly thereafter I joined the Army. My barracks room became my inspection-ready sanctuary and my barracks-mates my family. But we all knew those digs were only temporary and none of us ever really felt like we were home.

It wasn’t until I married my husband and we started our own family that I felt like I had a home again.  Hanging curtains, painting walls and making sure that every box was unpacked or hidden away in storage was and is always the first step to making it feel like home again for us.

Enjoy the process of discovery that comes from unpacking all of those things you love. Then, once you’ve emptied all of those boxes, make a point to entertain a few guests if you can.

Nothing makes a house feel more like a home than putting out a welcome mat and extending a little hospitality.

Dozens of Moves Later

Just over a year ago, we purchased what will be our last home as an active-duty Army family. Bits and pieces of the life we have built are seen in every corner, but it is only recently that this house has started to feel like home to me.

My kids are nearly grown, with one already discussing plans to move out. And so, the idea of home is changing once again.

How can it be home if we are not all together? Will our home become just a living museum of the memories collected as we traveled from place to place?

I suppose only time will tell.

How long does it take until you feel at home in a new duty station?

What is PCS Remorse and How to Get Over It

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As summer draws to an end, most of us who followed a set of PCS orders to a new duty station have arrived, found a place to live and unpacked our household goods.

The whirlwind rush of cross-country or transcontinental travel has dissipated. You’ve identified the best route to the commissary, clinic and a decent take-out place. And now that the shock and excitement of all things new has begun to wear off, the reality of our current situation begins to set in.

Maybe your new on-base housing is sub-par to your previous location.

Maybe the weather is always cold or gray and rainy.

Maybe the neighbors are standoffish and the only options for extracurricular activities for the kids is the one thing they aren’t interested in.

And to top it all off, the friends you left behind keep posting updates from your favorite old hang-outs. Or worse yet, maybe your milspouse bestie has PCSed to some tropical wonderland and her Instagram account is overflowing with pictures of sunsets, beaches and fruity umbrella drinks.

Suddenly, everywhere you look things are wrong and you’d give anything to pack everything back up and go somewhere, anywhere else.

There’s no doubt, you’ve got it.

You’ve got PCS remorse and you’ve got it bad.

Chin up chickadee. While your apprehension and dissatisfaction with a less-than-stellar duty station is normal, you can overcome that negative outlook. All it takes is a little adjustment in perspective.

What is PCS Remorse and How to Get Over It

Have you ever found yourself hating your duty station?

Look for Something Good to Focus on

No matter how bad something is, there is always a silver lining. And if that little voice in your head tells you things are bad, it can color how you see everything around you. Even the good.

Make a point to find something good, something you like about your new location.. Even if it’s just the fact that the water pressure in the shower is out of this world, seeing one good thing can be a stepping stone to others.

Remember that Social Media isn’t Always the Whole Truth

Yes, those amazing tropical sunsets are enviable, but try to keep in mind that most people only tend to share the best and most positive aspects of their lives. So while the beach is pretty, the horrendous traffic, dinosaur-sized mosquitoes, and $8 gallon of milk offer balance for all of that dreamy scenery.

Get Mad, Get Sad and Then Get Over It

Change is hard, especially when it’s abrupt or doesn’t live up to expectations.

It’s OK to get mad or to be a little blue. Those are normal and natural emotions that must be expressed in order to be resolved. Give yourself some time to grief and adjust, but then focus on making the most of what you’ve got.

While things might not be great, they can almost always be worse. Decide to change your perspective and then work to make it happen.

Sometimes finding things to look forward to can help. Maybe it’s taking a long bath every Friday night. Maybe it’s pizza for dinner on Sundays or a nightly jog up to a pretty vantage point. Whatever it is, let yourself enjoy it.

Forget everything else and live in that moment. Joy can brighten your outlook and help to make everything else look a little less glum.

Make a Plan for Distraction

If simply going about your daily routine isn’t enough to shake off those negative feelings, make deliberate plans to engage in an activity that will distract you.

A new exercise routine, planting a garden, taking up a new hobby, volunteering or even going back to school can help you find something to devote your energy to. Focus your energy on learning and growing despite your surroundings. You’ll be amazed at how much it helps to make even the bleakest of days look better.

Have you ever found yourself hating your duty station? What did you do to get through that challenging time?

How to Handle an OCONUS PCS in 25 Steps

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Whether you were hoping for this assignment or you winced when the PCS orders hit, an OCONUS move is not for the faint of heart. You have a lot of things you need to do and you need to do them all right now.

How to Handle an OCONUS PCS in 23 Steps

You will survive your international military move.

Don’t stress. Just follow our handy guide to rock this PCS!

How to Handle an OCONUS Move in 25 Steps

Hit Pause

Why? Because there are no official orders, just the “word” that these documents are coming. While you have tons of things to do, very few things can proceed without at least web orders.

Passports

Planning to travel while OCONUS? Apply for tourist passports for your family now. During peak times, passports can take up to 8 weeks to process. You will want to have these well before you leave, just in case. Take double passport pictures now, and only use one set for the tourist passports. Keep reading to find out why!

Pet Health

Have a pet? Great! Just make sure that you read up on the import requirements for your OCONUS duty station. Most overseas countries require additional vaccinations and quarantine periods.

Book your vet visit now. Be sure to bring hard copies of the animal import requirements to all future vet visits. Also, record all dates related to quarantine in your phone or planner.

PCM Check-In

Schedule a visit with your PCM even before web orders hit. Let your doctor know where you are headed and when you think you will be leaving. Ask that they review your medical record off-the-books and alert you to any bumps in the road. Do the same for your children.

Shots, Shots, Shots

Everybody gets shots! We’re talking HepA, B and C. Let’s add in a little TDAP and MMR for good measure. When your PCM checks your records, ask them to confirm your vaccinations and compare your records to the requirements for your next duty station. Then head to immunizations and roll up your sleeves.

Check Housing

Still no orders? No problem! Check out housing while you wait. Be sure to investigate all possible options, but remember that you probably won’t get to choose where you live. Do a double take when you see how much space the OCONUS houses offer. (Hint: it’s smaller than American base housing.)

Have a Yard Sale

After seeing how much space you might have, hold a yard sale! Try to sell your bulky or rarely used items. Put all of your profits into your pet travel fund.

Join Facebook Groups

There are Facebook groups for every duty station. Go find yours now. Then ask:

  • How does housing work?
  • How do I get a pet over here?
  • Will my family survive this?
  • What happens on the medical clearance boards?

Wait for answers patiently. After all, orders are still not “official” yet.

Research Pet Travel

After checking with Facebook, contact your local travel office to find out about pet travel. When you hear that the military flights have pet spots, rejoice! When you hear all the restrictions, cry. Then look into commercial travel and be happy for the yard sale money.

As soon as you have confirmed travel arrangements, work on getting your furry friends either on the same flight or ready to travel in another way. There are several reputable pet transit services out there and a few airlines that will fly military pets as unaccompanied baggage.

Celebrate

Hooray! Orders have officially arrived and you may pass GO. Be prepared to wait some more.

Health Check

You may now proceed with the overseas medical screening. Luckily, you’ve updated your vaccinations and previewed your medical records for any hiccups. Ask your PCM’s office for a hard copy of your health record. Then call the overseas screening office at the military treatment facility (the on-base clinic or hospital) closest to you. Schedule an appointment ASAP.

Be prepared to answer deeply personal questions about health issues that have long been resolved or are controlled. Wait nervously while a doctor you have never seen before decides if you are healthy enough to move OCONUS.

Be Ready to Wait

Even though orders are “official,” you are still waiting. Why? Medical and area clearance. Before the moving and travel offices will book you, your family will need to have area clearance. To get area clearance, you need medical clearance.

But What About the Car?

No, seriously, what are you going to do with the car(s)? In all the hustle to get the pets, house and humans ready, you forgot the multi-ton machine in your garage.

You have a few choices: store it, ship it or sell it.

The military will likely cover the costs (ship or store) of one car per family. If you were thinking “ship it” you might want to double check that it’s allowed where you are going. If not, start thinking about whether you want to store it or sell it.

Motivate

Do repeat image searches for your OCONUS duty station to remind you of how awesome it’s going to be once you do arrive.

Pet File

As your pet proceeds with quarantine and vaccinations keep every single piece of paper in one place. Make copies of everything. Get every copy notarized according to your new location’s requirements. Double check every document to ensure it’s been filled out correctly and with the right color ink.

Passports Part 2

Remember those extra passport pictures? Pull them out and bring them with you to get your no-fee government passport. You’ll go through your base to do this using a special form and documents. You will not have to pay for these. They will look exactly like your tourist passports.

Moving Dates

There will be 3 parts to this move: long-term storage, household goods and unaccompanied baggage. If you are lucky, there will be 3 separate individual moving days. Schedule long-term storage last so that anything that won’t fit in the other 2 shipments will stay stateside.

Double check your weight allowance for your duty station. Plan another yard sale.

Schedule Travel

Talk to the people who book your flights. Find out about how the travel options work. Ask:

  • Does everyone have to go on the military flight?
  • Can dependents elect to travel commercially and be reimbursed?
  • What about pets?

Expect to not like what you hear. Return to this office regularly to try to find a solution that works for you.

Sort Your Stuff

Sort everything you own into piles: store, trash, sell or donate, household goods, unaccompanied and suitcases. Try to estimate the total weight you will be bringing with you.

Hold another yard sale to get rid of extra weight and things you don’t want to store for 3 years. Be ready to give precious documents and photos to relatives for the duration.

Pack It In

Once everything is sorted, get packing! Luckily, the government contracted movers will do your big shipments, but it is smart to physically separate your stuff.

Put your packed suitcases in a separate locked or blocked room. Hire a babysitter and schedule your pets for day care.

Then kick back and make sure that all of your things are properly packed, labeled and accounted for.

Give Away

Do you have some things that just didn’t fit in any of your shipments? Time to give those things away to your nearest and dearest! Pass on those cleaning supplies, random pantry items and extra toilet paper.

Drive Time

It’s time to make the final, final car decision. Bring your car to the designated place if you are shipping it or storing it. Confirm where your car is headed and what the terms of the agreement include. Or get ready to list the car for sale. Get ready to be low balled if you’re selling it personally. You can also sell your vehicle to a dealership, which is way less stressful.

Go Home

Moving OCONUS means that you will be very far from family for several years. Take some time to visit your family and friends before you take off. Eat your local comfort foods, visit Target and stock up on anything you might miss overseas.

Wheels Up

It’s time for take-off! Your bags are packed and devices are fully charged. Before you board make sure you’ve packed:

  • Enough snacks for the flights
  • Entertainment that is easy to carry
  • Empty water bottles
  • Power strip, chargers and headphones
  • Blanket, travel pillow and earplugs or eye mask

Touch Down

You’ve finally landed in your OCONUS duty station. Congrats! You survived your international military move. You have 3 years before you have to tackle this beast again.

What are your best tips for an OCONUS PCS? Share your advice in the comments!

Why a PCS Stinks for Military Kids and Tips to Make It Better

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While supporting a parent’s military career, military children are asked to leave behind the familiar and embark on the unknown. The school they finally learned their way around, the best friends they’ve made and even the perfect bedroom must be given up when the PCS orders are cut.

Managing that transition as parent can be especially hard when you are worried about household goods and travel plans.

But here is an easy-to-remember acronym to help you mitigate any of the fears and angst your kids might have about PCSing: Frame, Acknowledge, Include, Re-engage and Support.

Why PCSing Stinks for Military Kids and Tips to Make It Better

Try these 5 tips to smooth the PCS transition for your military child.

Frame the PCS in a Positive Light

Kids are so quick to pick up on our moods and fears, so even though you might be freaking out about moving to someplace you’ve never heard of, try to frame the idea of moving in a positive way.

Try to think of moving as your next great family adventure.

Talk about how moving helps your family support their service member parent and why their service is so important. Emphasize the positive possibilities like making new friends, seeing different parts of the country or world, trying new foods, and remind them that you get to do it all as a family.

Acknowledge Your Child’s Feelings

A certain amount of resistance and fear about a move is to be expected and completely natural. Make sure you acknowledge any fears your children might have about moving and discuss ways to overcome those fears.

It’s OK to share that you are a little nervous about the move yourself, but don’t stew in those feelings. Take steps to help keep your frame of mind positive.

Include Your Children in the Planning Process

Try to include your kids in the planning stages, if they are old enough. Things like having them help with your pre-packing garage sale or planning the route you will be taking as you travel between duty stations can help kids feel like they have a role in your move.

If you can, incorporate some leave time during your transition and include some quality family time as part of your relocation process. A weeklong cross-country road trip means you’ll have the opportunity to stop and see things you’ve never seen before and may never see again. Create memories that will give your family something to laugh, cry or smile about. You don’t have to spend a ton of money, there are all kinds of amazing sites across the country (and abroad) that just require your time and appreciation. A little online research can help you find those kind of places.

And while you’re surfing the web, spend some time learning about your new duty station and then daydream together about things you’d like to do or see when you arrive.

Re-Engage in Normal ASAP

This part takes a little bit of planning on your part, but it’s another way to include your kids before the move. If you’ve got a soccer player or dancer or artist-in-the-making, find at least one activity you know they will enjoy and try to get them involved right away. It will give them something to look forward to and create a sense of the familiar in a new place.

Also, when it comes to unpacking, consider setting up your children’s rooms first. The sooner you can get back into your family routines, the better.

Before you leave your old duty station, be sure you get good contact information – cell phone numbers, emails and mailing addresses for friends you are leaving behind. A regular letter or Skype session is a great way to stay connected and it can really help kids who are moving (and those who are left behind) feel a little less isolated.

Support Your Child Through This Transition

No matter how many plans we make, there will always be that bump in the road we can’t possibly prepare for. Make a point to really talk to your kids about their feelings and listen to their concerns during your transition and after you arrive at your duty station (and for months afterward!).

Change is hard. Remind them that their feelings are normal. Then make sure you talk about things you can do as a family to help make the transition a little easier.

Have a conversation with your military child about moving. Ask them: What aspects of the PCS do you think stink? How can I make moving better for you?

How to Get Your Kids to Pitch in with Your PCS Purge

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“And that’s how one-third of my closet ended up at the Goodwill, children.”

That’s me, literally every time we PCS.

I’m, honestly, pretty great at getting rid of EVERYTHING when we move.

My kids, not so much.

Even with just 2 small children, the amount of clothes, toys and books is astounding. The next time we PCS, I’ll be looking for them to help me out, using these tips.

8 Ways Your Kids Can Pitch In During Your Pre-PCS Purge

Teach your kids how to get rid of unwanted or unused items by having them help with a PCS purge of their toys, books or clothes.

8 Ways Your Kids Can Pitch In During Your PCS Purge

Throw Away Everything That Is Broken, Damaged or Missing Pieces

Kids break stuff, misplace pieces and lose interest. Before you start any sort of declutter, go through all the stuff your kids have together. Weed out everything busted, down a few bits or boring. This means kid’s meal toys, dried out markers, chunky Play-Doh and cars with only one wheel.

Then get a big trash bag and put it all in.

Regift Your Old Toys to Younger Children

Kids grow out of toys, it’s true. Instead of just shoving all the old toys in a bag at midnight, let your kids share the love to younger kiddos.

With your children, go through their stash and talk about which toys they are too big for now. Make a list of younger children you know. Try to match toys to children.

Then use up your leftover gift wrap and deliver the toys. Be sure to check with each child’s respective parents first.

Donate Gently Used Books to Your Local Library

Like toys, children can age out of books. Of course, there are the sentimental favorites that your kids will always want to hang on to. All of those other books can hit the road.

Instead of just trashing them, check with the local library or your children’s schools and teachers. Libraries usually hold annual book sales to raise money. Schools, and especially teachers, always need extra books. So drop off a few boxes!

Have a Mini-Closet Purge

This one’s for the girls (although, boys are totally welcome)! As you are going through your closet, have your daughter(s) go through their doll clothes. To make it even more fun, be super enthusiastic about watching the Barbie fashion show!

Figure out which shoes are missing partners, any buttons that are busted and if any Velcro has lost its grip. All of these can go in the trash bag.

Host a Clothing Swap with Other Parents

Get together with your other parent friends and swap out those clothes. This is great for you and the kids. With littler ones, you can lead the charge to declutter the closet.

For older children, have them help you. Do a fashion show together to check what fits or what your kiddo doesn’t like anymore.

Then host a party to do the actual swapping. Organize the clothes by size and/or gender, set out some appetizers and drinks, then go to town! Everyone walks away with new-to-you clothes. Everything left over goes to charity.

Decide to Keep Only Your Favorites

For those with stuffed animal (or any other kind of toy) overload, make decluttering into a game. Toss everything out into the middle of the room, turn on some tunes and dance like crazy. When the music stops, grab a stuffed animal and decide if it’s a favorite. Have your child explain why s/he likes it so much. Favorites go back on the bed or into the toy box. Everything left on the floor gets donated.

Create a Schoolwork Photo Book

School aged kids come home with reams of papers and projects and just stuff. Some of it is valuable, but most of it is not. Do some prep work throughout the school year by getting rid of the junk as you go.

For things that you or your child love, but don’t want to drag all over creation, take a photo or scan it. Later, pick your absolute favorites and order a photo book for the school year. A slim photo book is easier to bring with you than that living museum display.

For everything else, pick up an artist’s portfolio with pockets. Label each pocket with a year and stash a few of the best artwork and schoolwork in there.

Let your child lead the charge on which items to scan, trash or stash. Definitely put in your two cents and keep some of your own favorites.

Organize a Yard Sale

For older kids, let them pick items to sell at a yard sale. And then let them keep the money. Seriously, that’s it. Be sure to highlight the fact that selling more things could equal more money.

They can use the money for ANYTHING once you get to the new duty station. A little parental nudge encouraging them to not spend the money on more stuff is absolutely permitted.

How do your kids pitch in before a PCS? What are your family rituals that help make the PCS process go smoothly? Tell us in the comments section!

Why I Need a New Best Friend at Every Duty Station

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“It takes a village to raise a child.”

While I wholeheartedly agree with that statement, I also think that we can just drop the whole “to raise a child” bit. For me, it just takes a village. By village, I mean friends. Especially a best friend.

Why I Need a New Best Friend at Every Duty Station

Finding a new best friend at every duty station is tough, but it’s so worth it!

Yes, we all have that one best best friend. The guy or gal who knows all of your secrets since the beginning of time. Who has been with you through the best and worst of times.

As military spouses, we can also benefit from having a best friend at each duty station.

It’s so comforting to have someone that gets you. When your spouse is gone or working late, it’s nice to have someone to explore your new location with. It’s great for trying out all those cutesy cafes, wandering around historic districts and even watching that rom-com for the millionth time.

Finding that best friend over and over and over again is just plain hard though!

First you have to put yourself out there in a serious way. It means meeting the neighbors, mingling with other military spouses in the new unit and trying out new clubs or groups.

Then you have to follow-up. Send texts, become Facebook friends or send out smoke signals. Sometimes, even that isn’t enough.

After you find a friend, then begins the vetting process to determine best friend potential. You need to dig into shared interests, common agreements about life and a joint love of wacky jokes (or whatever your thing might be).

If it’s not a good match, you’re stuck starting over again!

Sometimes, finding a new best friend can seem like climbing Everest: worthwhile, but a battle to accomplish. Just doing this a few times in a lifetime is unbelievably hard. Finding a new best friend every 3 years, or less, can seem nearly insurmountable! It’s almost enough to want to give up on the whole idea of a bestie and just stick to casual acquaintances.

You still have people to hang with, but without all the stress of being joined at the hip. Or having to “replace” your friend when one of you moves.

It’s tough finding a new best friend, yes, but it is so worth it!

Your new best friend could be where you least expect. I’ve found best friends while running, in my spouse’s office and through friends. She or he could be the person right across the street!

Part of finding a new best friend is going to involve putting yourself out there, yes. So many friend-finding opportunities are just part of the military life!

Mandatory fun days, pre-deployment briefs and living on-base are all chances to bump into someone who could be your PERSON.

Before you know it, you are swapping salty military spouse stories, sharing recipes and are inseparable.

There are also other great ways to find your next best friend. Check out a local fitness meet-up, like Stroller Warriors or a cross-fit box.

If you are religious, seek out a church, temple or Bible study in your neck of the woods.

When you come with youngsters, find a preschool support group like MOPS or a gym with a child care co-op program.

For those heading to work, your new pal could be your desk mate or office neighbor.

No matter how you found your new best friend, having one is important.

When the going gets tough, military spouses need someone to rely on. With our spouses gone often, or mostly in-and-out, a best friend becomes the person I rely on.

When I’m sick, she brings me medicine or chicken soup or takes the kids for the afternoon. We swap date night child care duties or have weekly dinner/play dates when the guys are gone. If the car breaks down, I know I have someone to call from the mechanic. I always have a dinner partner when cookie dough a la tube is on the menu too.

It’s why I need to have a best friend at every duty station.

I need a village to help get me through the tough times and to celebrate the best times. My best friends, no matter where I am or where they are, have helped me to survive and thrive in this military life.

How did you find your best friend at your current duty station?

How to File an Inconvenience Claim for Your PCS

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Moving can be stressful and when the movers don’t arrive to pick up your household goods or to deliver them, it’s time to file an inconvenience claim.

How to File an Inconvenience Claim for Your PCS

Filing an inconvenience claim when a moving company does not pick up or deliver household goods is easy if you follow these steps.

What is an inconvenience claim?

An inconvenience claim is a request for reimbursement of money unexpectedly spent due to the moving company not arriving on the agreed upon pack or pick up date or delivered on the Required Delivery Dates (RDDs). You can apply for reimbursement, but it is not guaranteed that you will receive it. Moving companies will generally honor your inconvenience claim however.

What is covered?

Items that you may be reimbursed for with an inconvenience claim include:

  • lodging
  • meals
  • laundry service
  • furniture and appliance rentals
  • sheets
  • towels
  • pots and pans
  • paper plates
  • napkins
  • disposable cutlery

Rental furniture includes beds and air mattresses, cribs, sofa, chairs, table, appliances and one TV. Receipts for purchases must accompany your inconvenience claim.

The total amount they will pay back to you cannot exceed the daily lodging and meal per diem rate.

It is expected that military families will minimize these expenses in ways such as sharing a hotel room with the entire family if possible. If multiple rooms are needed, you must get pre-approval in writing by the transportation service provider (TSP).

It should be noted that if the TSP reimburses you for physical items such as pots and pans, they can reclaim those items once your household goods are delivered if they choose to, though it is not likely.

What is not covered?

Don’t go crazy purchasing things thinking you can just add them to your inconvenience claim. There are many items that are not covered including: food if the family is in a residence, cleaning supplies, toiletries and cosmetics, snacks, military uniform pieces, school supplies, receipts for items out of the local area, receipts dated prior to the missed moving date, expenses that you do not have a receipt for, toys, personal clothing, dry cleaning, ATVs, boats, trailers, bikes, gifts, alcohol or drugs or tickets to amusement parks.

What is the timeline for reimbursement?

The process for filing an inconvenience claim and receiving a reimbursement is actually quite quick. The moving company or TSP is required to acknowledge they received an inconvenience claim filed within 7 calendar days. The TSP will reimburse the family within 30 days. The TSP can choose to voluntarily approve your reimbursement without receipts during this time as well.

You can begin charging the TSP for failure to pick up household goods as of the first day of the missed pick up through the actual pick up date. If they failed to deliver your items, you can charge them from the first day after the missed delivery date up until the date it is actually delivered.

Who is not eligible?

There are some instances in which you are not able to file an inconvenience claim. This includes delays due to: a natural disaster, an act of the public enemy, acts of the government, acts of the public authority, violent strikes, mob interference or delays of Code 5, Code J, or Code T shipments that stem from the government and not the TSP. Also, service members on Temporary Living Allowances (TLA) are not authorized to file an inconvenience claim.

How do you file a claim?

It is a short and easy process to file an inconvenience claim. These are filed directly with the claim department of the moving company that failed to meet its move dates. Each business has a different procedure however, but most are simple. Stevens Worldwide Van Lines, for example, has a form you can download from their website.

It is also a good idea to notify the traffic management office after you PCS. They can provide assistance in filling out the paperwork to file an inconvenience claim. If your claim is denied, they can appeal to the carrier’s home office. If the appeal is not fruitful, your case can then go on to the Surface Deployment and Distribution Command that will review it and make a final ruling.

Help can be found at the destination ITO for Air Force and Army and at the local ITO, Legal Assistance Office or the Claims Processing Office for Navy and Marine Corps. While they can help with the process, you still must file with the TSP. The inconvenience claim package must include at a minimum:

  1. A copy of the member’s inconvenience claim letter
  2. Copies of receipt for out-of-pocket expenses
  3. Copies of the Government Bill of Lading, DD Form 1299 and DD Form 619-1
  4. A statement of the reasonableness for the claim

Have you ever filed an inconvenience claim? What is your experience with this type of PCS claim?

Your New Duty Station Checklist

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Welcome to your new duty station. How many PCS moves does this make for your family? I’m in my 17th house now, so I’ve done my share of checking into new duty stations. If this is your first move or 20th, make sure you fully get to know your new military installation.

Once your boxes are unpacked, follow this checklist to get familiar with your new surroundings.

Your New Duty Station Checklist for Every PCS

After you unpack your last box after a PCS, what’s the next thing you do?

1. Talk to Your Sponsor

Each time you PCS, the service member is given a sponsor. This is a fellow service member that is already stationed at that location who is familiar with the area. Their job is to help make your PCS an easy one by helping you get settled in and get to know the area. Take advantage of this help and make contact with that person.

2. Find the Commissary

I love the commissary. You’ll spend a lot of time here so go ahead and find out where it is and what the hours of operation are.

Some commissaries are closed on Sundays and Mondays while others are open every day.

Make sure you plan your shopping trip accordingly. Stop by the commissary for a few minutes on a day you don’t need to do your big weekly shopping just to see what the selection is. Some commissaries are quite small and only offer a few things while others have a vast selection.

3. Find the ITT Office

The ITT office is a great resource. Each one offers different services which could include: travel and vacation packages, travel insurance, car rentals, flights, tours, concerts, national events and local tickets. Universal Studios, SeaWorld, DisneyLand and Walt Disney World packages are really popular. You can save a lot of money by purchasing tickets through the ITT office.

After a PCS, you might want to plan some family fun. Contact your ITT office to see what’s going on in your area.

4. Locate the MWR

The Family Morale, Welfare and Recreation Program offers an abundance of activities for families. After a busy PCS, you’re going to want to get out and have fun.

The U.S. Army MWR has 223 fitness centers, 192 child development centers, 137 swimming pools, 86 outdoor recreation centers, 79 bowling and family fun centers, 78 Army community service centers, 76 libraries, 66 auto skills centers, 48 golf courses, 54 arts & crafts centers and 12 riding stables.

There is surely something fun for your family to do to relax and get to know your new duty station.

5. Check Out the Base’s Fitness Center

Why pay a monthly fee to work out at the gym in town when you can go to the fitness center for free? Many locations have a mother and child area where you can work out and keep an eye on your little one.

If you’re self-conscious about working out in front of others or are intimidated by large crowds, go after 9 a.m. when most service members will be back to work and the gym will be quieter.

Don’t put it off. Dig to the bottom of that last PCS box and find your workout clothes.

6. Contact the CDC or Base School

Do you have children and need child care or to enroll them in school? Contact the Child Development Center to see if they have openings. If there is a wait list, it doesn’t actually go first-come first-served. There is a priority level index. You can get on the list however and enroll your child in another program in the meantime.

Contact the base school before you PCS, if you can, to find out what records you need to bring to register your children in the school.

7. Join a Spouse Group

There’s no better way to get to know a new installation and feel at home, than to make friends. No matter how many times you PCS, you will still want to get know other military spouses who know the area.

Having good friends can really make a difference in your experience living in a new place.

Contact your command ombudsman or spouse liaison. Join the enlisted or officer’s spouse club. Get online and look for base groups. Try Facebook or Meetup.com for example.

Each PCS is different. It can be a lonely road if you sit at home alone. Get out and get to know your new installation. Make friends and get involved. This could be your favorite duty station. It’s up to you to take advantage of all it offers.

After you unpack your last box after a PCS, what’s the next thing you do? What’s on your new duty station checklist?

5 Things You Should Always Label with a ‘Do Not Pack’ Sign

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You are getting ready to PCS! You are trying to get everything ready for the movers to come and pack up your home.

The only thing is, you don’t want the movers to pack everything. There are certain items you will need to label with a “Do Not Pack” sign.

What type of items should you place a “Do Not Pack” sign on? Items that you will either need to carry with you as you travel or that you really don’t want to find a week or even sometimes months later at your new duty station.

5 Things You Should Always Label With A "Do Not Pack" Sign During a PCS

What items do you label as “Do Not Pack” during a PCS?

5 Things You Should Always Label with a “Do Not Pack” Sign During a PCS

1. Stuff for the Kids. You want to make sure you save enough for them to do when the house is empty or you are in a hotel. For us, that was a backpack full of their favorite toys, a laptop and some DVDs.

When we moved from Germany back to the United States we had to stay in our house in Germany for a few days after they packed up all of our things. Life was easier when we had a few items for my boys to do while we waited.

2. Important Paperwork. You will want to carry your most important paperwork with you, especially what you might need for the move. We bought a folder to keep everything with us at all times. I have heard stories of passports being packed as well as other important papers and sometimes it’s close to impossible to get the paperwork back in time if you need it to move.

3. Trash. Before we ever went through a PCS, I was warned to make sure you put a “Do Not Pack” sign on the trash. Otherwise, the movers might pack the trash and we would find it later.

In our case, that would have been months later since we were going overseas. I don’t even want to think about what a banana peel would smell like after weeks in a box heading over to Germany to join us.

Make sure they can’t pack the trash. You will be glad you did.

4. Cleaning Supplies. You will need to clean your house or apartment after your items leave and before you turn in your key. You don’t want to have to rebuy a broom or other supplies you might need. You want to make sure you go through everything ahead of time. If you have a cheap vacuum you don’t mind donating after you are done, keep that out too. Otherwise you will want them to pack the vacuum and you will need to borrow one if you need to clean your carpet after the movers have left.

5. Important Items. This one applies if you can take your important items with you in your own car.

For me, it would be my scrapbooks and my journals. I would feel a lot more comfortable with them in the car with us instead of with the movers. When we went overseas I did not have that option and luckily nothing happened to them but if I was going to move within the United States, I would want them with me.

Your important items might be something you just can’t ever replace or something that is very special to you. Make sure they don’t pack them if you can take them with you another way and want to keep them a little safer.

What items do you label as “Do Not Pack” during a PCS? What’s the worst thing that has been packed by mistake?