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Are the Challenges of Military Life Worth It?

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At the end of the year, I find myself feeling a little introspective. This year has brought a lot of ups and downs, but perhaps the most monumental aspect of this year for my family is this:

we had our last military move.

Retirement is just around the corner. I’m not sure I even believe it yet. I grew up traveling the world with 2 active-duty parents. I took the oath of enlistment myself and then settled into the familiar life of a military spouse.

Every single moment of the first 40 years of my life has been influenced by the military community.

I have never known health care that wasn’t Tricare. Words like PX, PCS, TDY and ACUs are a part of my regular vocabulary. I have seen countless iterations of uniforms, moved from one side of the world to the other, and started and left more jobs than I can count.

As I think about this past year and imagine what a fast-approaching civilian future might look like, I have to wonder if the challenges we’ve faced as a military family have been worth it.

It’s a question not easily answered and so I did what any military spouse would do. I leaned on my military community and asked them: what are the biggest challenges of our particular lifestyle?

I empathized with their responses, and it wasn’t long before I noticed that almost every challenge listed was directly tied to the transient nature of our lifestyle. With that in mind, I sat down and gave some thought to this particular aspect of my life. Has moving 19 times been worth it?

Change Moving Is Never Easy

No matter your MOS or career field, this is one aspect of our military life that we all share in.

Often it’s a hassle, sometimes it’s an adventure, but it is always stressful.

Making sure you can find adequate housing, ensuring the school district is acceptable, finding a new job, setting up a new support system, picking a new primary care physician, figuring out which gate is open, the list goes on and on. I can honestly say that even though I have done all of these things many times, they never get any easier.

Moving is exciting when it’s just a set of orders and a daydream about the possibilities, but a nightmare when your entire life is packed into boxes, your spouse is headed out to God knows where for who knows how long, and you don’t even know where the closest grocery store is.

And then there is the separation. Separation from a spouse sent on deployment or TDY. Separation from extended family. Separation from the friends and co-workers who became your surrogate family when you first arrived at the new military installation.

As I sat reliving the stress and strain of military life, I could feel my blood pressure begin to climb.

And then it hit me. The lessons this life has taught me are invaluable.

Lessons Blessings in Disguise

If I had never traveled the world, I wouldn’t have lived in the beautiful, red brick townhome in England. Never had milk delivered in glass bottles right to our door. Never discovered that boiled Brussels sprouts are entirely unpalatable. I would never have played hide-and-seek in the small grove of olive and apricot trees on Crete. Never learned to swim in the Mediterranean.

If I hadn’t changed schools ever couple of years, I would have missed out on friendships that forever changed the way I saw the world and understood people. I would never have listened to a foreign friend tell me her secret dream was to one day become an American.

If I hadn’t said goodbye to countless friends, I would never have had the chance to say hello to so many others.

If I hadn’t waved goodbye to my spouse, I might never have learned that I am strong, smart and able to take care of our household on my own. And I would never have been able experience the sweet relief of watching him walk through the front door unharmed.

If I hadn’t agreed to quit a job to go where the Army sent us, I might never have learned how to make giant Christmas bows or develop a database or process a mortgage. I might never have learned how to create websites or work in social media.

I might never have learned that friendship, comradery, resiliency and a sense of duty will always trump adversity.

So has military life been worth it? For me, I think the answer is undeniably, yes.

How would you answer this question: Knowing what you know now, would you live your military life all over again?

How Tricare’s Pharmacy Provider Change Impacts Your Prescriptions

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On December 1, 2016, Tricare removed CVS, including CVS inside Target, from the Tricare retail pharmacy network and added Walgreens and Kroger.

That means that if you currently fill your prescription at CVS, you will need to move your prescription to another network pharmacy or pay full price for that medication.

You have options when it comes to filling a prescription. If you are one of the numerous beneficiaries that need to move your prescription, consider these options when switching.

Military Pharmacies

You can have your prescription filled at a military treatment facility. There is no change to military pharmacies at this time. Medication can to be filled at military treatment facilities free of charge. Call the closest one to you to see if they have the medication you need on hand.

Civilian Pharmacies

If you choose to fill prescriptions out in town, Tricare recommends Walmart, Rite Aid, Walgreens and Kroger as the largest pharmacies with the ability to obtain specialty medication. There are more than 58,000 retail pharmacies in network. This includes other national chains as well as pharmacies in grocery stores and independent pharmacies that you can fill your prescriptions at.

TRICARE Pharmacy Home Delivery

If you have maintenance medications, medicine that you take regularly, it is free to use the Tricare pharmacy home delivery system. You can order prescriptions online, over the phone or through the mail.

Even if you choose to have an initial prescription filled at a military treatment facility, you can still have the refills sent through Tricare home delivery.

A patient care advocate will contact your doctor if you need help getting your prescription transferred. Through Tricare pharmacy home delivery, you will receive a 90-day supply of your medication. Tricare recommends that you have 30 days of medicine before ordering to ensure there is plenty of time to get you properly put into the system and that the medication arrives before you run out.

Ordering your medication through Tricare pharmacy home delivery has many benefits including: automatic refills, free delivery, free generics and the option to talk to a pharmacist at any time.

Saving money is another benefit. As of February 2016, generic medications carry a $30 retail network co-payment, while home delivery does not have one at all. Formulary brand medications filled at retail network pharmacies have a $72 copay as opposed to $20 through Tricare home delivery. Non-formulary medications could cost you $150 at a retail network pharmacy, but would only be $49 through home delivery. These prices reflect a 3-month supply of medication.

Getting Reimbursed When Using Non-Network Pharmacies

If you choose to fill your prescription at a non-network pharmacy, you will be required to pay the entire price of the medication up-front. You then file a claim to get a reimbursement. The amount you get back however depends on your status and Tricare plan.

Active duty service members will receive complete reimbursement.

Dependents on Tricare Prime will get 50% of the cost share back.

Those on any other Tricare plans can expect to pay $24 or 20% of the cost, whichever one is higher, for formulary drugs. This is only after you have met your annual deductible.

If you are filling a non-formulary prescription, you will pay $50 or 20% of the cost, whichever is higher, after meeting your annual deductible.

Claims must be filed within one year of filling the prescription at a non-network pharmacy. Through Tricare’s website, you can access the Patient’s Request for Medial Payment (DD Form 2642), which you will need to fill out and mail in.

How to Transfer Your Prescription

Transferring your prescription is easy. You simply take your prescription bottles to a new pharmacy and have them call your previous pharmacy or you can call a new pharmacy and ask them to contact your old pharmacy.

Another option is to contact your doctor and ask them to send a prescription to your new pharmacy. You can also call Tricare home delivery (855-778-1417) to see if they carry your medication and then have it delivered to you.

Final Key Points to Know

There are no other changes to the Tricare Retail Network. If you do not currently fill your prescriptions at CVS, including CVS inside Target, then you do not need to change anything with your prescriptions. There is no change to Tricare copays.

There is no grace period. If you fill a prescription at CVS after December 1, 2016, you will pay for the entire medication and then need to fill out a reimbursement form.

To learn more about Tricare’s changes to the pharmacy provider list, click here.

Should Military Spouses Tag Along on TDYs?

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After 18 years as a military spouse, I’ve lived through my share of service-connected separations. Be it multi-month deployments or weeks-long TDYs, separations are a part of military life.

Some military spouses, especially those new to this lifestyle, often struggle with the idea of separation, even for a short period of time.

And while deployments don’t allow military spouses to visit troops in country, many spouses do make the decision to follow their service member while they are on temporary duty.

I certainly appreciate the desire to be near your spouse, especially when a separation comes after basic training or in conjunction with a PCS to a new duty station.

Should Military Spouses Tag Along on TDYs?

Few military spouses have the luxury of packing a bag and hitting the road. If you plan to follow your service member on temporary duty, you’ll need lots of lead time to prepare.

But before you pack a bag and make a long-term hotel reservation, here are a few things to consider.

Your Service Member’s Free Time May Be Limited

A TDY typically involves some kind of training or special mission requirements. As such, a service member’s free time may be limited or they might be restricted to the duty station or facility. They may also work odd hours or have homework that limits the amount of free time they have outside of work.

So what does that mean? You might find yourself sitting in a hotel room in a town you’ve never been to before with no spouse to keep you company and zero support network.

If you are prepared for the possibility of spending a lot of time alone, make sure you have something to focus your time and energy on in between the sporadic visits from your spouse. You may want to take an online class, write a book or volunteer for a local nonprofit organization.

Planning Ahead Is a Must

Few of us have the luxury of packing a bag and hitting the road. If you plan on following your service member on temporary duty, you’ll need lots of lead time to prepare.

If the TDY is in conjunction with a PCS, you may need to give notice to terminate a lease and schedule a household goods pack-out.

Reservations at many hotels around busy military installations may be limited or long-term stays and temporary or short-term rental properties may not always be available. If you have pets, availability may be limited even further.

It is tempting to throw caution to the wind and figure it out as you go. But consider the extra strain and stress on a service member if you are unable to secure living arrangements.

Training and focusing on the mission becomes infinitely harder if you are worried about your spouse sleeping in your car.

If you make the decision to accompany your spouse, don’t leave the planning to the last minute. Plan to have a conversation about expectations. Try to talk to other service members about services and facilities available for a short-term relocation. Have a plan B in the event that a 3-week course suddenly becomes 6 weeks.

TDY Life May Be Costly

Perhaps the biggest consideration for a short-term relocation for military spouses is budget. Can you afford to quit your job or take a leave of absence, for the duration of the TDY?

Don’t forget that you may find additional costs associated with living out of your suitcase. If your living arrangements don’t include a kitchen or a washer and dryer, make sure you include those costs into your monthly budget.

The seasoned spouse in me wants to tell my fellow military spouses contemplating one of these temporary relocations to reconsider.

That the potential strain to relationships and budgets aren’t worth the occasional opportunity to see your spouse. That being alone in a new place without the benefit of a unit to turn to in times of need is time better spent in a familiar place or with family.

But instead, I will simply say this — Military life affords us ample opportunities for adventure and promises countless nights will be spent counting down to a reunion.

Separations are never easy, but we can and do learn to persevere through them. We must each make decisions about what is best for us and our families. If you decide this kind of move is right for you, be smart about your reasons and be fair in your expectations.

Have you ever moved to a location temporarily while your service member was conducting training or a short assignment there?

Why I Need a New Best Friend at Every Duty Station

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“It takes a village to raise a child.”

While I wholeheartedly agree with that statement, I also think that we can just drop the whole “to raise a child” bit. For me, it just takes a village. By village, I mean friends. Especially a best friend.

Why I Need a New Best Friend at Every Duty Station

Finding a new best friend at every duty station is tough, but it’s so worth it!

Yes, we all have that one best best friend. The guy or gal who knows all of your secrets since the beginning of time. Who has been with you through the best and worst of times.

As military spouses, we can also benefit from having a best friend at each duty station.

It’s so comforting to have someone that gets you. When your spouse is gone or working late, it’s nice to have someone to explore your new location with. It’s great for trying out all those cutesy cafes, wandering around historic districts and even watching that rom-com for the millionth time.

Finding that best friend over and over and over again is just plain hard though!

First you have to put yourself out there in a serious way. It means meeting the neighbors, mingling with other military spouses in the new unit and trying out new clubs or groups.

Then you have to follow-up. Send texts, become Facebook friends or send out smoke signals. Sometimes, even that isn’t enough.

After you find a friend, then begins the vetting process to determine best friend potential. You need to dig into shared interests, common agreements about life and a joint love of wacky jokes (or whatever your thing might be).

If it’s not a good match, you’re stuck starting over again!

Sometimes, finding a new best friend can seem like climbing Everest: worthwhile, but a battle to accomplish. Just doing this a few times in a lifetime is unbelievably hard. Finding a new best friend every 3 years, or less, can seem nearly insurmountable! It’s almost enough to want to give up on the whole idea of a bestie and just stick to casual acquaintances.

You still have people to hang with, but without all the stress of being joined at the hip. Or having to “replace” your friend when one of you moves.

It’s tough finding a new best friend, yes, but it is so worth it!

Your new best friend could be where you least expect. I’ve found best friends while running, in my spouse’s office and through friends. She or he could be the person right across the street!

Part of finding a new best friend is going to involve putting yourself out there, yes. So many friend-finding opportunities are just part of the military life!

Mandatory fun days, pre-deployment briefs and living on-base are all chances to bump into someone who could be your PERSON.

Before you know it, you are swapping salty military spouse stories, sharing recipes and are inseparable.

There are also other great ways to find your next best friend. Check out a local fitness meet-up, like Stroller Warriors or a cross-fit box.

If you are religious, seek out a church, temple or Bible study in your neck of the woods.

When you come with youngsters, find a preschool support group like MOPS or a gym with a child care co-op program.

For those heading to work, your new pal could be your desk mate or office neighbor.

No matter how you found your new best friend, having one is important.

When the going gets tough, military spouses need someone to rely on. With our spouses gone often, or mostly in-and-out, a best friend becomes the person I rely on.

When I’m sick, she brings me medicine or chicken soup or takes the kids for the afternoon. We swap date night child care duties or have weekly dinner/play dates when the guys are gone. If the car breaks down, I know I have someone to call from the mechanic. I always have a dinner partner when cookie dough a la tube is on the menu too.

It’s why I need to have a best friend at every duty station.

I need a village to help get me through the tough times and to celebrate the best times. My best friends, no matter where I am or where they are, have helped me to survive and thrive in this military life.

How did you find your best friend at your current duty station?

What I Do When I’m Feeling Lost and Alone

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Silent tears ran down my cheeks. I tried to look straight ahead and listen politely, but my mind was racing with a million questions.

The nurse turned to me and said “sweetie, are you OK?”

I nodded. I wasn’t OK. I wasn’t fine. Inside I was freaking out. Outside I was trying hard to appear calm.

“How often do I need to change the wound dressing?” I asked the nurse.

I was sitting in a surgeon’s outpatient room. I had a minor surgery to remove a cyst near my collarbone. As part of my follow-up care for proper healing and to prevent infection, I needed to have the wound dressing changed twice a day.

“Can I do it myself?” I asked the nurse.

“Of course not. Just ask your husband to do it.” she said.

My husband, of course. That would be the logical solution. But my husband wasn’t at home and wouldn’t be at home that night. He was gone for a week. A military assignment that he couldn’t miss and now I felt lost and alone.

“In that case, ask your mom or your sister,” the nurse said.

I shook my head.

“A close friend?” she offered.

Who in my neighborhood would be the person that I could ask to change the dressings for my minor wound? See even as I type this question, it seems like such a minor thing. But to me at that moment it wasn’t a minor thing.

It was a huge inconvenience. I’m a private person and now I needed to tell an acquaintance that I had a cyst on my collarbone and oh, by the way, can you change my dressings for it?

So embarrassing.

It was a level of friendship that I wasn’t emotionally prepared to climb into with one of my neighbors when I stepped into the surgeon’s office that morning.

I felt so alone. Really truly alone.

Have you ever felt lonely in military life? Do you ever feel so alone even though you are surrounded by the military spouse community?

What I Do When I'm Feeling Lost and Alone

What do you do when you feeling lost and alone?

Feeling lonely is normal. Feeling a little lost and feeling so alone happens to even the most outgoing military spouses. It happens to the perky and positive ones too.

It’s an emotion that can slap you across the face when you realize that you need someone to help you. That’s when I feel alone. I feel alone even though I know I can call any other military spouses in my social circle at any time.

But I know I can’t feel alone for too long. Here’s what I do when I’m feeling alone in military life.

I allow myself to be humble.

In the case of the cyst removal post-surgery care, I need physical help. It wasn’t a pleasant task. It wasn’t like asking a friend out for lunch or coffee. It was a basic medical care kind of request. And there was nothing that this person was going to get out of helping me. No benefit whatsoever.

It’s humbling to ask for help in these kinds of circumstances. You realize all the things that you do independently and take for granted. Depending on the kindness of strangers (even if they are also military spouses) can be a tough pill to swallow.

But in these moments, I allow myself to be humble. I remind myself that it’s perfectly normal to ask for help. In fact, the nurse told me I needed this help. I couldn’t do it myself. I couldn’t be Wonder Woman. I couldn’t be amazingly-awesome-independent military spouse.

In this case, I needed to be a humble, swallow-your-pride military spouse.

I allow myself to forgive.

My immediate reaction to these types of situations is anger toward my husband. Stupid Navy. Stupid deployment. Of course he isn’t here to help me. Of course not. It starts with a seed of frustration, branches off into anger and then flowers with bitter fruit of resentment.

Being mad at my husband for a situation that he can’t control doesn’t bring me any closer to a solution. My anger doesn’t change the fact that I need help and I feel alone.

During these times of loneliness, I allow myself to forgive my husband. Clearly it’s not his mistake. It’s not his error. But I need to tell myself that I forgive him for being gone during this time. Forgiveness brings me a step closer to acceptance. Once I have acceptance that I can’t change his deployment I can focus on what I can control in this situation.

I allow myself to be vulnerable.

When I reflect on periods of loneliness in my life, I find that my feelings of being alone were related to my desire to appear strong instead of weak to others.

I didn’t want others to know that I had a cyst. I didn’t want others to know that I needed help. I worried about what others would think of me instead of allowing myself to be me. I wasn’t allowing myself to be vulnerable.

Being vulnerable is part of friendship. If you don’t allow yourself to be vulnerable, your friendship won’t deepen. Trust can’t happen without secrets. Empathy can’t happen without mistakes. Loyalty can’t happen without alliances.

When I allow myself to be vulnerable with a potential friend I am letting this person know that I value her as a friend. I’m ready to trust her with my personal baggage. I’m ready to let her in.

I’m ready to ask her to change my wound dressing.

Finally I don’t feel so alone anymore.

Do you ever feel lonely in military life? What do you do in those moments when you feel so alone? Tell us in the comments section.

Why a Surprise Military Homecoming Is an Awful Idea

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Deployment is almost over! The countdown is only a few weeks, days or hours. I am ready. Kind of.

I still need to clean the house, corral the kids, hose off the pets and pick out a stunning outfit for the BIG DAY.

Except now, here he is. The house is dirty. The kids are running amok. The dog just got skunked and I’m wearing sweats. I am so not ready for this military homecoming!

My worst nightmare is a surprise military homecoming.

Maybe because I’m an ultra Type-A planner who likes to be moderately in control at most times. To me a surprise military homecoming just seems like a bad idea.

First, the whole surprise thing. It’s a random time of day and the doorbell rings. There’s a person wearing some sort of uniform standing at my front door. For me, it would be heart-stopping shock. Not joy, shock about the potential despair that might be coming. All because there is a uniformed person on my doorstep, without warning.

Part of deployment is the mental prep and gamification of it. The countdown is front and center on the fridge. In my mind, I’m ready for X day. With a surprise military homecoming, the spouse or family might not be mentally ready.

Why a Surprise Military Homecoming Is an Awful Idea

A military homecoming doesn’t need to be a surprise to be special for your family.

Along with the mental prep work to welcome a service member home, comes some deep selfishness.

We have been apart for goodness knows how long, and my bed has been empty. The children have not seen their father in forever it seems. And we need that moment of just us-ness.

But a surprise military homecoming takes away that intimacy. They take away the “us-ness” of the moment by bringing other people into the mix.

It’s sheer logistics. Someone else will see him first, be next to him first, drive him first and arrange his first food.

Call me selfish, but the only humans I want to share those firsts with are my children. The deployment has been a build-up to the moment my spouse steps off the bus, plane or out of formation. I need the closure of that very first kiss.

Beyond just the “first” moments, let’s talk about the whole planning aspect of these surprise military homecoming shenanigans.

The service member has to contact someone at home to arrange everything. Someone has to be there to get her. She has to have food and something to drink, plus provide a change of clothes. The props have to be set up in advance, ready to go. Plus, someone has to move the spouse and kids into the correct position at the proper time.

That is a LOT of work. Chances are that the TV crew members don’t help out every person who wants to pull off one of these surprise military homecomings.

Last, but not least, let’s talk about the lies involved with a surprise military homecoming.

The building blocks of marriage are truth and trust.

After months apart, the service member has decided to keep a HUGE secret from his or her spouse: the time and date of return. Not only has she just not mentioned it, the service member has also likely actively engaged in deception to conceal the return window.

Reintegration following deployments is challenging enough without starting off with a giant lie. Failing to be truthful about when you are returning can be extremely hurtful.

Not to mention, the weeks leading up to reunions are unbelievably busy: cleaning, haircuts, notes to school, arranging child care, more cleaning, meal prep and getting children ready to be back in a 2-parent household again.

Just showing up can put a seriously huge (but happy) wrench into a lot of this prep time. Plus, there might be last-minute “distraction” adventures that families have planned to just get through the final few weeks or days.

I know I hit Disneyland an awful lot the month that a year-long deployment was winding down. What if my husband had picked a spontaneous Disney day to “surprise” me? He’d have been locked out while I rode Space Mountain, that’s what.

So, by all means, go right ahead and do your supposed to be fun and emotional surprise military homecoming stuff.

But please, before you get deep into plans, remember that not everyone likes surprises. Some families on the homefront need the non-surprise reunion to wrap their brains around the whole situation.

Trust me, even without the surprise aspect, every military homecoming is full of love.

Now it’s your turn: How do you feel about a surprise military homecoming?

Why These 5 Military Bases Are Our Favorites

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Sure, every military base or duty station has its perks, but some military bases just stand head and shoulders above the rest.

Why These 5 Military Bases Are Our Favorites

Which military bases are your favorites?

These 5 military bases, for a variety of reasons, are the best bases that our writers have ever lived at.

Presidio of Monterey, California

If you love going to the beach in the fall, then this is the place for you! It’s jeans and sweater weather almost all of the time, with the gorgeous Pacific Ocean just steps away. On the beach, you can stand and watch the fog roll in, see it swirl around you and blanket the coastal town in mist.

Beyond the scenery, freshly picked produce from local farms is available everywhere you look! Plus, with the world famous Pebble Beach Golf Course close by, it’s easy to hit the links or check out the annual Pro-Am tournament.

For military spouses, volunteer opportunities, on base and off, abound. The opportunity to study alongside your spouse is also available, as space allows at the Defense Language Institute. Some spouses have been able to study a second (or third!) language while in Monterey. Since the Presidio is a joint services installation, being here allows everyone to bust out of their service-centric bubbles and create even more amazing friendships!

San Diego, California

From Camp Pendleton up north to Miramar in the east, with Coronado holding it down in the south, this whole region is a fan favorite for military bases.

And what’s not to love? Beautiful beaches, with low waves for the little ones and big surf for the brave. Nearly perfect weather year-round, sunny skies daily and rarely a cloud to be seen. The flowers are blooming all the time and the ocean breeze cools off even those rare scorching hot days.

For foodies, this is the place to be: with Mexican, Asian and soul food (plus so much more) available around the clock.

Animals lovers rejoice! The world famous San Diego Zoo just celebrated its centennial and is hosting fun events through the end of 2016. Its sister park, the Wild Animal Park in Escondido, lets visitors get up-close and personal to the animals on safari-style tours.

Out east, and slightly north, lies Temecula Valley. This wine region is producing reds, whites and sparklings that will please even the most discerning palates.

With military bases all over this area, you are never at a loss for resources, health care or community connections. For families, couples or those flying solo, SoCal is the place to be!

Stuttgart, Germany

If you are looking for castles, forests and international travel opportunities, Stuttgart might just be your military base.

Located close to the German/French border, Stuttgart is in the heart of Europe. By rail, road or air, you can access all that this continent has to offer easily. From lunch in France to shopping in the Black Forest or buying a car in Sweden, all of these adventures and more can be yours!

As you travel, don’t neglect the places closer to home. Stuttgart features beautiful castles, stunning parks and festivals year-round. Their Oktoberfest is the second largest volksfest worldwide, behind Munich.

Near the holiday season, the Christmas market is open for business with artisan crafts and local cheer. When you factor in museums and the opera, Stuttgart is a cultural mecca!

JEB Little Creek-Fort Story, Virginia

Located in the heart of Hampton Roads, an epicenter of East Coast naval operations, JEB Little Creek is combined with Fort Story as a joint service base for the Navy and Army.

Little Creek is easy to get to and close to so much. From beautiful beaches to the history of Virginia, this region is sure to be a winner for you! Plus, you can watch the ships head into and out of the port.

Nature enthusiasts can enjoy hiking, biking and running trails along the coast or in one of many local parks. For history buffs, this region offers museums on local, national and military history.

Let’s not forget the food! From fresh from the boat seafood to boiled peanuts to down home Southern cooking, you can find it all here.

Within driving distance, you can access the Carolinas and the Mid-Atlantic. A trip up the coast gets you to Jamestown, where the first English colonists settled. Military families should head inland for Civil and Revolutionary War battle sites.

Washington, D.C.

The nation’s capital, and one of the busiest military hubs in the United States, Washington, D.C., is a great place to live like a local!

D.C. is a great place to pick up running, biking or walking. Just picture it: ending your run at the Lincoln Memorial as the sun rises behind the U.S. Capitol. Perfection!

D.C. is the perfect place to explore like a tourist. Almost all the museums are free and you can visit national landmarks, like the White House on your weekends.

You can also see live music, comedy and explore tons of different cuisine. Comedy and music shows are hugely popular in the U Street corridor. Ethiopian, Vietnamese and El Salvadorian foods are fan favorites with the locals.

What are your favorite military bases? Tell us in the comments!

10 Assumptions I Had About Military Life

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Before I was a military spouse, I had all these notions about who, what and how military wives were and acted. Turns out, most of my assumptions were pretty inaccurate!

10 False Assumptions I Made About Military Life

1. All military spouses are women!

So, the term “military wife” is pretty rampant. After all, when you see those warm and fuzzy homecoming videos, it’s usually the female spouses on camera. So if you thought you would be surrounded by ladies, think again!

A 2011 study showed women make up 14.5 percent of active duty troops, with about 51 percent of these service members being married. Accounting for the 48 percent of married female service members in dual-military families, that leaves about 51,000 civilian spouses who are married to female troops.

Yes, that study didn’t account for same-sex relationships because it was commissioned before the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. Even with factoring that in, there are tens of thousands of male military spouses!

2. Being a service member is like a regular job.

This assumption went out the window real fast! With deployments, constant training missions, overnight duty and random weekends in the field, a “regular” job this is not.

There are definitely some assignments that operate on a more typical 7-5 schedule, but those are few and far between.

Our first assignment, right after getting married, was an immediate months-long training cycle for a 12-month deployment. My husband was never home for dinner and was gone before I woke up. That is, if he didn’t just stay at work.

3. All military spouses are the same.

I will be the first to admit that I went into military life imagining a Stepford-like situation: thousands of very conservative, very religious and very patriotic women.

Totally not the case!

Military spouses span the spectrum on both religious beliefs and political leanings. And the community is so inclusive of everyone. Whether you attend church or not, whether you vote red or blue or purple, there is a place and space for you to thrive.

10 Assumptions I Had About Military Life That Turned Out to Be False

What assumptions did you have about military life?

The patriotic thing though? That assumption is mostly true. Military spouses are definitely proud of our loved ones’ military service!

4. Everyone lives on base.

In our 3 tours, we have lived in on-base housing once. The other two times we rented homes off base.

Military housing, depending where you are stationed, can be hard to come by. There are often waiting lists for newly built or recently renovated neighborhoods. Other times, like certain overseas duty stations, military families might be required to live on base.

Often, houses out in town come with different perks. Some service members enjoy the separation of their work life and their home life. School districts might offer different resources in another town. Or the location, like on the beach or in the mountains, might just not be an option otherwise.

5. Everything is free or cheap.

We have all heard about the much touted military discounts and giveaways, right? From groceries to houses to theme park admissions, it can seem like lots of things are free.

This assumption is definitely 100 percent false.

While there are perks to being a military family, like complimentary admission to certain theme parks or organizations that provide things just for us, we are still just regular families who pay our own way.

6. Every sailor is on a ship, every airman flies and every soldier or Marine is infantry.

Each service member has a different job to do, just like in the civilian world.

Not everyone in the Air Force flies, for example. Some are doctors, lawyers or in charge of moving supplies around. Not every Marine carries a weapon and wears camo face paint. Some deal with the news media, some are in HR and some fly aircraft. And while many sailors are on the high seas, there are also those who serve on land in a variety of positions.

You can’t compare jobs, even in the same branch of service. Everyone has their own mission and objectives.

7. The great officer vs. enlisted debate.

Before joining the military spouse community, a lot of the word on the street was that officer spouses were snobby or that enlisted spouses were young.

I am going on record as saying this is absolutely not true! Literally nothing that you have heard about “how” officer or enlisted spouses behave or are is 100 percent accurate for every single person in that community.

Each spouse, each person, is their own individual self. No one fits a category or mold.

For the most part, every person I have come in contact with on this journey has been kind, helpful and generous to me and my family.

And spouses, unless also serving in the military, do not wear ranks. So, let’s just erase this one for good!

8. Military homecomings are picture perfect.

After waiting an additional few days and then several hot, sweaty hours in the sun, this assumption is definitely debunked.

Yes, military homecomings are usually a time filled with joy and happiness. Your service member is back safe and sound! But these events also come with some serious concerns.

Often homecoming dates and times are changed up until the very last minute, leaving families in the lurch when it comes to planning for child care or what to wear and bring.

Reintegration is a very real challenge. Your loved one has served in very different and often difficult situations for many months. He or she might have gone through hard times, including the loss of a friend or teammate. Sometimes, just rejoining family life is tough after months spent living on the military’s schedule.

9. Saying goodbye gets easier.

It’s not that it gets easier, it just becomes more normal.

You will still miss your spouse when they are gone, whether it is for a week or for a year. It is still hard sleeping alone, parenting alone and eating alone. You might still cry every time you say goodbye.

But with each farewell, you also have the knowledge that she or he will come home. You know the routine and can switch into it more easily.

10. You’ll see the world!

Or maybe just Kansas and Oklahoma.

There are military bases around the world, from right here in the United States to exotic overseas locations like Asia or Europe.

But not every military job or branch is able to move to every military base.

Some pilots can only fly their aircraft from certain locations. Or your family might only be able to receive health or educational services in certain places. Or your spouse’s branch of service isn’t in your dream location.

It totally depends in a lot of factors and the needs of the United States government.

The good news is that every duty station, near or far, has its own set of perks and benefits that can help make it feel like home!

What assumptions did you have about military life? Tell us in the comments section.

Amendment to Reimburse Recertification Costs

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Recertification costs due to PCS can really add up for military spouses that are employed in a career field that requires state licensing or certification. Two senators are working to get some of that money back to military spouses.

Senators Bob Casey (D-Pa.) and Jerry Moran (R-Kan.) have been trying for years to get a tax credit for military spouses that have had to pay fees for licensure and certification when they PCSed with their service members.

Senators Introduce Amendment to Reimburse Military Spouses’ Move-Related Recertification Costs

Two senators have proposed an amendment to the defense bill that would reimburse military spouses up to $500 for the costs of re-licensure and re-certification.

Military spouses earn 38 percent less than civilians according to a recent report, due to the hardship of constantly moving. Many spouses experience a length of unemployed or become underemployed because jobs that require licensing or certification are state specific.

Recertification costs can be more than military families can afford, especially with frequent moves.

Senators Casey and Moran are hoping to ease that burden with a tax credit to military spouses to cover recertification costs. They have proposed an amendment to the defense bill that would reimburse military spouses up to $500 for the costs of re-licensure and re-certification that stems from a Permanent Change of Station (PCS) to a another state.

Reimbursement for recertification costs would include:

  • Application fees to a state board, bar association or other certifying or licensing body.
  • Exam fees and registration fees paid to a licensing body.
  • Costs of additional coursework required for eligibility for licensing or certification specific to the state, not including the cost of continuing education courses.

Limitations include:

  • The total amount of reimbursement for recertification costs cannot exceed $500 per PCS.
  • Eligibility for reimbursement of recertification costs for spouses would not be limited by the pay grade of the service member.
  • Reimbursements would be distributed quarterly.
  • The cap on the reimbursement program would be $2 million a year.

There are more than 860,000 military spouses and only 55 percent of them were in the workforce in the past decade. If this passes, it would give many spouses the opportunity to continue their careers after relocation.

The government would also benefit from the program as a recent study by Blue Star Families showed. The report stated that it costs the U.S. economy between $710 million and $1.07 billion annually in lost tax revenue, unemployment benefits and health costs because so many military spouses were not employed in career fields that they otherwise could be without the hardship of moving.

These two senators are working to get recertification costs reimbursed to military spouses so that they can get back in the career field of their choice. This simple act of reimbursement can actually have a huge impact on the economy, as well as at home for military families.

Luckily, they are not the only ones fighting for military spouses. First Lady Michelle Obama and Dr. Jill Biden started a campaign in 2011, known as Joining Forces, to make it easier for military spouses to gain employment in portable carriers.

They also saw the struggle that military spouses faced with PCSing, especially with recertification costs. Together, they urged governors in every state to take action, whether executive or legislative, to make state licensing for military spouses easier. This month they announced that all 50 states have created a way to help streamline the process of licensing and credentialing military spouses.

The Department of Defense along with state legislators and regulators has developed 3 ways to help military spouses transfer licenses: licensure through endorsement; temporary licensure; and expedited processes for issuing licenses.

Licensure through endorsement can be difficult for military spouses, so a best practice has been developed that allows spouses to show their competency in their occupation through various methods determined by boards such as recent experience and continuing education units.

Temporary licensure is offered by many states that allows military spouses to enter employment while completing state requirements or while awaiting verification of current license, certification or employment history for an endorsement.

An expedited process for issuing licenses is a quick way to get spouses back in the workforce. States have varying ways in which they expedite the process. Washington, for example, allows a board to approve a license based on an application certified by affidavit.

With recertification costs keeping many military spouses out of the workforce, hopefully these initiatives will be able to get them back into it.

How much have you spent on recertification costs when you moved as a military spouse? Share your story in the comments section.

5 Tips for Better Sleep While Your Service Member is Deployed

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While the perfect night’s sleep is often as illusive as dragon’s eggs and fairy potions, getting a good night’s sleep is imperative for maintaining good health and handling the stresses of the day. Toss a deployment into the mix with all of that extra responsibility and worry, and even a good night’s sleep can become something of fairy tales.

Many military spouses often have difficulty adjusting to sleeping alone while their service member is deployed and in harm’s way.

Here are 5 tips to help you sleep better as you count down the days until homecoming.

5 Tips for Sleeping Alone When Your Service Member Is Deployed

Have you had trouble sleeping alone when your service member is gone for a deployment?

Prepare to Sleep: Develop a Bedtime Routine

One of the easiest ways to help your body sleep better, even in the midst of chaos and stress, is to develop a bedtime routine. At the end of a long, hard day, be kind to yourself. Brew a cup of chamomile tea, take a warm bath or shower, use aromatherapy, read, meditate or do some other quiet and calming activity.

While none of these activities actually makes you sleepy, following a daily bedtime routine can help remind your body that it is time to de-stress and get some rest.

You’ll want to avoid exercise within an hour of your normal bedtime as the endorphins released during this kind of activity can keep you awake.

And recent studies have indicated that the use of electronic devices like iPads, cell phones, eReaders and television can affect your natural circadian rhythms, so give yourself at least 30 minutes of unplugged time before bed.

Get Organized: The Easiest Way to De-Stress

Stress can have a huge impact on your sleeping patterns, so managing stress can help to ensure a better night’s sleep.

Simple things like getting your clothes (and your kid’s clothes) ready the night before, planning weekly meals, setting up bill pay and keeping a good calendar of due dates and activities can help to eliminate the feeling of having too many balls in the air.

It can be hard to get into the routine of planning ahead, but thankfully there are all kinds of free tools on the Internet to help you with everything from planning menus and building shopping lists to keeping track of appointments. Even if you usually do okay keeping track of things, putting some simple organization and time management mechanisms in place can help you stay on schedule and can greatly reduce your stress levels.

Keep a Journal

Often the lack of communication with a deployed spouse can add to your worry and increase feelings of isolation and loneliness. And while you can rarely control when the phone will ring or when that long-awaited email will arrive, you can make the most of the time you have Skyping or chatting with your deployed spouse by writing things down.

Consider keeping a journal. You can even make it part of your bedtime routine. Jot down a few words about your day or vent all of your frustrations on those pages.

Putting it down on paper can be cathartic and it gives you a chance to reflect and revisit some of your more taxing challenges when you aren’t right in the middle of them.

Plus, it can help to eliminate the need to unload all of that frustration on your spouse.

But don’t forget to write about the good and exciting things too. Get into the habit of finding at least one thing to be thankful or happy for each day. It will help add balance and perspective to your view of the deployment.

Sleep in the Middle of the Bed with a Snuggle Alternative

This one can be a bit hard to get used to, but sleeping in the middle of the bed can help to all eliminate that “something’s missing” feeling.

Adding a full body-length pillow, a teddy bear sprayed with your spouse’s favorite cologne or perfume, a pet or even a snuggly kid can also help to combat the feeling of being alone.

Talk to Your Doctor

If you’ve tried all these techniques or if you find yourself under an unusual or significant amount of stress, don’t be afraid to reach out to your primary care physician.

Simple supplements like vitamin D or melatonin can help to encourage good sleep and there are a number of over-the-counter and prescription drugs that can help as well. But always seek a doctor’s advice before starting any kind of sleep medication to rule out other conditions like sleep apnea and depression.

Have you had trouble sleeping alone when your service member is gone for a deployment or training? Tell us about your experience in the comments section.