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Community: A Dying Military Tradition That Needs to Make a Serious Comeback

12/04/2017 By Veronica Jorden

One of the things I remember most about growing up a military brat was the overwhelming sense of community that surrounded us, no matter where we lived.

If someone went TDY or was lucky enough to take leave to go home, we always made sure to keep an eye on their house or even mow their lawn if necessary.

If I got home from school and couldn’t find my key, there was always a neighbor willing to let me use their phone or hang out until my parents got home.

When I headed out into the world on my own, it was that very same sense of community I found lacking in the civilian world. It is one of the reasons why I eventually decided to join the military. But I have to say, things have changed a lot since I was a military kid.

With the rare exception, gone are the days of the welcome wagon. You know, that group of people, usually military spouses, who stopped by your house after you had a few days to settle in. They’d bring a plate of cookies or a pie and introduce themselves so you would know at least one person on your street. Then they’d share all the insider info you needed, like the best days to shop at the commissary or which primary care doctor to ask for.

Community is the best part of military life. How can we work together to bring it back?

But nowadays, we’ve given up extending a hand to those who might need a little help because it’s too much of a hassle.

We swear off spouses groups because we swear we just can’t handle all the drama.

It seems like we have given up the idea of actually meeting our neighbors and instead just focusing on how many friends we have on Facebook or how many times we get retweeted. And while I wouldn’t give up my social media accounts for anything, I really wish we could, as a community, remember that face-to-face conversations are as important, maybe more so than a text or instant message.

Community: A Dying Military Tradition That Needs to Make a Serious Comeback

Laughter shared over a cup of coffee will always be better than tweeting.

We need to make developing a sense of community and service to each other a priority.

Military unit success often depends on being tuned in, not only to an assigned task, but to the well-being of those around you. It creates a sense of team and comradely that binds a unit together.

It is an idea that I wish permeated beyond the boundaries of the FOB and into the greater military community.

It is all too easy to stay focused on your own lane, keep blinders on and just trudge forward.

But when one member of our community struggles, it creates ripples that impact us all.

A “hi” on Facebook or a follow on Instagram is a great way to break the ice, but when emergencies arise, we need to know that there is someone we can reach out to and lean on.

Over the course of my husband’s career, I can think of only one deployment where anyone from my military community, other than my husband, ever called or stopped by to check on me. And I know I’m not the only one.

There are no regulations that require this kind of community awareness, but we should take it upon ourselves to make sure that no matter the unit or location, no member of our community ever feels isolated or alone.

I say bring back the welcome wagon and the dinner brigade. Go out and meet your neighbors, organize a neighborhood potluck or cul-de-sac barbecue. Start caring about the well-being of those you pass on the street everyday. Be the kind face they need when the challenges of this life get to be too much. Be the resource they need when they don’t know who else to turn to.

Be as engaged and involved as you can be because a hug can never be replaced by a “like.”

Laughter shared over a cup of coffee will always be better than tweeting.

Make time and be open to cultivating relationships with the flesh and blood people in your community.

You may be just the friend they need to get through a tough time. And they end up doing the same for you.

Is the military community dead? Do people ever come out from behind their screens and talk to each other?

The Myth of the Perfect Military Spouse

11/27/2017 By Veronica Jorden

It was one of those days.

You know, the days when nothing seemed to go right? My oldest had dumped a gigantic bag of beads in the middle of the living room floor for the second time that day. My youngest was way past nap time. I was dressed in my usual jeans and seen-better-days T-shirt, my hair was a mess, and I had less than 30 minutes until my husband was due to walk in the door.

My plan to be dressed, pressed, and waiting to sit down to a delicious home-cooked meal had gone out the door hours ago.

And it wasn’t the first time my list of to-dos or taking care of my children had eaten up my entire day.

I so wanted to be that military spouse who had the house cleaned and dinner neatly prepared when my soldier walked through the door.

The same daydream had me perfectly coiffed and dressed to impress. And every time I didn’t hit that goal of “perfect” spouse, I felt like a failure.

If I couldn’t do it all when he was able to come home every night, what did that say about my abilities when he was deployed?

After all, he was doing all the hard work, putting on the uniform and training to be of service to our country. He needed a spouse capable of taking care of everything at home. If I couldn’t do it all when he was able to come home every night, what did that say about my abilities when he was deployed?

After a particularly stressful afternoon that had all of my kids recovering from temper tantrums and me in tears, a close friend stopped by for coffee. She was everything I wanted to be. She always looked great. Her house was always immaculate. And I’d never seen her stress about anything.

After confessing my feelings of inadequacy, she changed my entire world with just one sentence.

There is no such thing as a perfect military spouse.

What? How could that be? There were those, just like her, who always had it together. The spouse next door who always had his kids ready and at the bus stop on time. The commander’s wife who always made hosting company events look easy.

She repeated herself.

There’s no such thing as a perfect military spouse.

The look on my face must have confessed my disbelief. Over the next few minutes she confessed to a few cracks in what I thought was her perfect façade. I felt a little better, but I still wasn’t wholly convinced.

I begged her to share her secrets with me. How did she make it all look so easy? She just laughed and challenged me to change my way of thinking.

“So what if your house isn’t perfect? So what if macaroni and cheese is the best dinner you can muster? Those things are not required to make you worthy of love and respect. We each have our strengths. Be your best you and that’s good enough.”

I sat quietly and tried to take those words in. Was it possible to be the best me without being perfect? Could I be the strong, capable military spouse my soldier needed and not be good at everything?

The answer is yes.

My belief in that idea didn’t happen overnight. It took a lot of work and introspection. It took time to learn to quiet that inner voice that told me I was a failure and give the stage to the part of me that got up every day and did my best.

I am incredibly thankful I had a friend to intervene and set me straight.

And I hope, should you ever find yourself in a similar mindset that you remember:

There is no such thing as a perfect military spouse.

No matter who you are, where you are from or what you are struggling with, you are worthy of love and respect.

Even if it means that the dusting or vacuuming should have been done yesterday.

Even if it means that PB&J is what’s on the menu tonight.

Live every day with the intent to be the best possible you that you can. The best you is more than good enough.

Are you trying to be the perfect military spouse?

Spread Some Cheer with These Holiday Card Alternatives

11/24/2017 By Veronica Jorden

If desperation is the mother of invention, I’m pretty sure procrastination is a second cousin. And I’m suffering from both.

It’s already the end of November and I still haven’t made up my mind if I’m going to send holiday cards or not.

You know, with 3 teenagers vying for their gotta-have-it gifts and plans to travel out of town, our budget is already stretched a little thin. And can we talk about how few hours there seems to be in the day at this time of year?

To make this holiday card thing happen I’ll need to:

Coordinate clothes and beg/threaten/bribe my better half and kiddos to smile for a photo.
Spend hours selecting the perfect holiday greeting, font and layout.
Compile a list of all those who must and should receive a holiday card.
Get the right number of cards printed, plus extras, because I’ll always remember a handful of extra should-be-on-my-list-ers after I print my cards.
Buy stamps.
Sign and stuff ‘em.
Drop them off at the post office and hope that I haven’t forgotten anyone, I got the postage right and that they all get there in time to express my sincere holiday sentiments.

I know it’s not a particularly hard list, but the cost and time alone just adds another layer of stress to an already strapped-for-time season. There has to be an easier way! This year, try spreading a little cheer that is both budget-conscious and time-friendly.

Do you send holiday cards? Why or why not?

7 Holiday Cards and Creative Alternatives

Use a Mailing Service

Many online photo companies offer mailing services at a price that can save you both time and money. This option doesn’t allow you to hand-sign or include a personal note, so if you chose this option, consider following up with a quick phone call during the holidays or after the first of the year.

Send Post Cards

If including a handwritten note is more your style, and you’ve got a lengthy list, consider sending post cards instead of the traditional holiday cards.

Postage for postcards is a full 15 cents cheaper than a holiday card sent first-class mail. Sites like Vistaprint offer 50 full-color glossy postcards for $10!

Make a Video

Instead of holiday cards, consider recording a video of your family wishing those you love a happy holiday season. Sing a favorite Christmas carol, read a story, tell jokes or just express your heart-felt sentiment. So much more personal than a card and fun to make too!

You could make one video and share it with everyone or create shorter personalized messages for your close family and friends.

Make a Donation

This time of year is a great time to give back to your community or pay it forward.

Instead of spending money on holiday cards and postage, consider making a donation to a good cause on behalf of each person on your list.

Some nonprofits will even send out a thank you to those for whom you have donated. But if you chose this option, consider following up with a quick email to let those on your list know how much they mean to you. Be sure to include a link to the cause.

Just Call Them!

I like getting things in the mail, but honestly, a phone call and the opportunity to catch up and laugh with those I love is so much better.

Skip the stamps and spend a few minutes being present and in the moment with each person on your list.

Wait Until After the New Year

Often we all find we have more time (and money) after the first of the year. And there is nothing that says a holiday card must come in December! Give yourself some time, shop the great late-season sales for some beautiful winter cards and use your cards to extend your good wishes for the New Year!

Next Year…Start Early!

Some of the best sales on pre-made cards and online photo cards often come at the beginning of fall. Put a reminder in your phone or on your calendar to start earlier next year.

It won’t necessarily help us out this year, but it might make next year a little less stressful!

Do you send holiday cards? Why or why not?

How to Survive Black Friday Shopping

11/15/2017 By Kimber Green

Black Friday shopping can be exciting and terrifying at the same time. The crowds are huge and so is the pressure. You may feel compelled to go shopping even if you don’t need anything in particular.

For me, Black Friday shopping has been more of a tradition than a necessity.

I’ve always enjoyed the fun with my mom. Here are my top 5 shopping strategies we use to have fun while getting great deals.

What tips do you have for shopping on Black Friday?

5 Tips for Shopping on Black Friday

Make a List

Black Friday is not the time to browse. The stores will be overly crowded with less than friendly patrons. People can be very competitive pushing their way through the store to grab what they came for.

Know what you want to get in and out of each store quickly.

In order to do that, you should make a list.

I always start with a list of who I want to buy Christmas gifts for. I shop throughout the year as I notice things a friend or family member would like and just put it away.

On this list I write what I have already bought so that I don’t overbuy for one person or not buy as many things for another.

I write next to their names a few gift ideas I have for each person. Once I have completed the list, I consider what gifts are the most important to buy on Black Friday to save money. I put those on a separate list.

Compare Sale Ads

Now that I have a list of what I’m interested in buying, I start to look through the ads.

Black Friday is the only time of the year I buy the newspaper.

I look through the ads and cut out the ones I’m interested in as well as any coupons. Then I look online to see the sales listed for stores in my area and compare prices. I also note items that are listed as minimum quantity in the fine print, that way I know if it’s likely I will be able to buy that item or if it’s even worth trying for.

In some cases it isn’t worth fighting the crowds for on Black Friday. Cyber Monday may have the same or similar products for better prices or the same. Previews for Black Friday and Cyber Monday sales are available early on online.

Reading the fine print of the sales is important. I read those and note what the best option is for getting the product I want.

Create a Shopping Strategy

The next step is to create your shopping strategy. Plan the order in which you want to go to the stores.

I also think about what time I should get there to beat the crowd.

You should also consider how you will tackle the crowd to get to what you want.

It is helpful to have a shopping buddy. You can split up to find what you came for. It’s also easier to have someone with you to help carry your purchases. My shopping buddy is my mom. We make a great team.

Fuel Up

Don’t let hunger get in your way on Black Friday. I prefer to go shopping after having a meal so that I am full and not thinking about food. I also bring a snack and water with me.

Keeping fueled up on Black Friday is important. I treat myself to a latte that day. My mom and I have a tradition of going out to eat after our fun shopping trip.

Consider Logistics

Don’t get so carried away with shopping that you don’t have room in your vehicle to get it all back home.

If you know that what you’re going shopping for on Black Friday is a large item such as a TV, make sure you can fit it in your vehicle. This is not the time to drive your compact car if your spouse or shopping buddy has a larger one.

We always take the SUV on Black Friday.

Along the same lines, make sure you know where you are going to store these gifts until Christmas.

Last year I stored a giant teddy bear, which was taller than my 6 foot husband, for a friend. She certainly had nowhere to hide such a large item from her daughter. Make sure you know where you’ll be taking your purchases to once you’re done shopping.

What tips do you have for shopping on Black Friday?

What Military Families Need to Know About the Flu Vaccine

11/13/2017 By Kimber Green

It’s that time of year again, flu season.

Have you and your family gotten the flu vaccine yet?

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommends that everyone over the age of 6 months gets the flu vaccine.

What Military Families Need to Know About the Flu Vaccine

Don’t let your fear of needles keep you from getting this year’s flu vaccine.

Here are the details you need to know about getting the flu vaccine as a military family.

Tricare pays for the flu vaccine, but they have strict guidelines that you must follow in order for your insurance to cover the cost.

The nasal spray that you or a family member may have gotten last year is not available this year. If you want the flu vaccine, you’ll have to get the injectable treatment. Here are 3 ways to get the flu vaccine and have it covered by Tricare.

How to Get the Flu Vaccine for Free Through Tricare

Visit a military hospital or clinic. You should call ahead and make sure that the flu vaccine is available. Some clinics have certain hours that walk-in vaccinations are done and some require an appointment. Active duty service members have priority so prepare yourself for a possible wait.

Visit an in-network pharmacy. You can search on Tricare’s website to find a local participating network pharmacy or you can call the Tricare line at (877) 363-1303.

Last December the Tricare retail pharmacy network changed so you may not be able to go to the same pharmacy you went to for your flu vaccine previously. Make sure you check if your pharmacy of choice is in network now.

For example, last year you might have gone to the CVS pharmacy in Target. Tricare no longer uses CVS. They switched to Walgreens.

You can also get your flu vaccine at Walmart, Kroger and Rite Aid to name a few.

Before heading to the pharmacy, call first. You’ll need to make sure a pharmacist will be available to give the flu vaccine, as Tricare will only cover the cost if it is given by a pharmacist.

If you get the flu vaccine by someone at an onsite clinic that is not a pharmacist, you may have to pay the full price of the flu vaccine.

Make sure when you talk to them to ask what hours the pharmacist will be available to give shots and if there is an age restriction. Some pharmacy policies do not allow them to give the flu vaccine to children under a certain age.

Visit a Tricare authorized provider. If you don’t have a primary physician, you can find a doctor through Tricare’s website. Note that you will be subject to your Tricare plan when going to see a doctor. This means you might have a copay or cost share for the visit. The shot however will be covered.

Active duty service members that do not want to get their flu vaccine from their primary care provider will need a referral to get one elsewhere.

Naval Hospital Jacksonville is offering the flu vaccine at the Naval Air Station Jacksonville Commissary on November 14 and 15.

If you are hesitant to getting the flu vaccine, remember that getting the shot is the first step you can take to protect yourself from the flu. It is required for all active duty, selected reserves and health care workers.

While everyone over the age of 6 months is recommended to get the flu vaccine, it is particularly recommended for pregnant women and people who suffer from chronic health problems such as diabetes and emphysema.

Don’t let being scared of a shot keep you from getting the flu vaccine. The flu is very contagious being spread by physical contact, coughing and sneezing. If you get the flu, you may have mild to severe sickness that could land you in a hospital. Make sure to wash your hands often to prevent the spread of this illness.

Now that you know how to get the flu vaccine for free, make time to get it done and protect yourself and your family.

What questions do you have about getting your flu shot?

7 Tips from a Military Spouse to Her Younger Self

11/08/2017 By Veronica Jorden

I won’t say I’m old, but if there was a miracle pill to knock a couple of years off, I’d be interested.

For all of my fears and frustrations about getting older, I know I have earned every gray hair, every fine line. They tell the story of a life that, while it’s had its ups and downs, I really can’t complain about it too much.

But as I watch my oldest child begin to figure out her place in the world and prepare to move out on her own, it got me thinking about myself at her age.

If given the chance what would I want my younger military spouse self to know? What imparting wisdom could I dish out to help make my future just a bit better?

Here’s what I came up with:

If given the chance what would I want my younger military spouse self to know?

7 Tips from a Military Spouse to Her Younger Self

Attend College

Less than half of American adults have a college degree. I was part of the majority without one until just a couple of years ago.

While a college degree won’t solve every problem, it can open doors and help with career advancement and employment.

Many military spouses already have a degree or some form of formal training before they become military spouses, which is amazing! But don’t stop learning. If you’re like me and on the 20+ year plan or you are looking for a second or advanced degree, utilize the resources the military community has to offer.

Programs like MyCAA can help junior enlisted and officer spouses to obtain or continue pursuit of a degree. There are scholarships only available to military dependents and there are a great many programs and universities who offer discounted rates to military spouses.

Get your college degree – it will pay off in so many ways.

Find Your Passion

As you move from place to place, a passion or hobby can make wherever you are stationed feel like home.

A passion gives you something to occupy your time when your spouse is fighting in parts unknown.

A passion gives you something to look forward to when those horrible-terrible-no-good-very-bad days rear their ugly heads.

And your passion just might be the icebreaker you need to make new friends who share a similar interest or who are interested in learning.

Learn to Budget/Schedule/Plan

Mind-numbing waiting at the doctor’s office, empty bank accounts and frantic searches for missing berets or boots at zero dark-thirty can all be avoided with some forethought.

If creating spending plans (and sticking to them) or developing schedules and plans doesn’t come naturally to you, buy a book, or take a class or print off one of the million or so examples on Pinterest.

Get good at being organized. It will pay off a thousand-fold in both your finances and sanity.

Pick Your Friends Wisely

It is all too easy to latch onto an unhealthy friendship when you feel out of place or lonely. But, sometimes those friendships born of low-hanging fruit can do more harm than good.

Put in the effort to build real friendships that last. Don’t write people off because of appearances or even first impressions.

Hint: real friendships don’t equal drama, drama, drama!

Save for a Rainy Day

Before you know it, you’ll be looking at retirement.

Or the need for a new car.

Or the desire to buy a house.

Or the desire to have a baby (or two or three!).

This lesson isn’t really military spouse specific, but it is one I wish I had learned much sooner.

Always, always, always, pay yourself first. Even if it’s just $10 a paycheck, get into the habit of putting money away. Your future self with thank you, trust me.

Buy Smart and Don’t Buy on Credit

Hand in hand with saving, be smart about your money. If you can at all avoid it, skip using credit cards for anything other than emergencies.

That $500 want-it-now purchase suddenly turns into a $1,000 burden when you add in all the interest.

Be patient and save until you can afford to pay cash for what you need.

At the same time, don’t deprive yourself of things. Go back to the lesson about budgeting and figure out a way to be smart about what you buy.

Enjoy and Experience

Don’t let the experience of being a military spouse pass you by without taking time to enjoy it.

While the challenges are difficult and never-ending, the benefits and experiences this life has to offer are second to none. See the world, taste the food, take pictures. Meet people, try new things, explore.

Learn to laugh at mistakes, empathize with your neighbor and trust that your presence in every place and moment has a purpose and a reason.

What advice would you give to your younger self? Share it in the comment section.

My Life as a Unicorn in the Military Community

11/01/2017 By Tammy

by Eric Gardner, Guest Contributor

Are you a male military spouse? Do you feel like a unicorn in your military community?

How do I feel about being a male military spouse (aka a unicorn)? That’s a complex question – being unique isn’t always a good thing.

Yet now in these later years, to put it simply, I love it.

As a military family we are thrilled that my wife is nearing her 20-year mark. We’ve been all over the world. We’ve had our share of bumps and bruises along the way. And the saying “it’s not just a job, it’s an adventure” has been our philosophy toward the unique situations the Army loves to send our way.

My wife and I never set out to change the social structure of the military.

Our non-traditional family dynamic is what we felt suited our needs best. My transition from active duty officer to stay-at-home parent was one we discussed in depth. This important role of stay-at-home parent and active duty Army spouse was one we thought complemented our strengths and weaknesses as a couple.

While our friends and families accepted our decision, the military has been a little slower to embrace this type of dynamic. In large part the traditional role of male military spouse was occupied by joint service members. The dual military couple is a classification, which both service members and spouses of the late 90s and early 2000s could categorically fit into as an already well-established social slot. I knew that role well.

Serving over 8 years in the Army, my presence at the social functions as a “military spouse” was novel and typically dismissed because of the reality that I would have little time outside of my normal duties as an infantry officer.

Everyone understood and appreciated my desire to get to know my wife’s unit spouses but they never expected me to devote any real energy to their network.

My life as a male military spouse went into uncharted territory when I departed from service to take on the role of stay-at-home parent with our daughters.

Looking back it was a comical transition. We attended several closed door discussions where both my wife and I were counseled (separately, of course) on the proper path our growing family should take. In the opinion of my leadership at the time I should stay in and my wife should get out. After the disbelief of having such a discussion we decided to stay true to our course.

Our next assignment was a challenging one. As new parents we soon began to see the reactions to our decision to take on less traditional roles. I encountered many inquisitive gazes. I answered tons of questions about “how I enjoyed spending time with my daughter.” I didn’t try to alter their views, but instead delivered a smile and a well-wish or two.

I was fortunate that the commander’s spouse was new to the Army and didn’t have any of the preconceived notions about the Family Readiness Group (FRG) structure. To her, I was a welcomed addition to the unit and someone who brought a unique inner dynamics to the group.

It was the first time that my desire to fix a problem paid off.

I was fortunate that while the wives all had differing opinions, mine was also seen as beneficial because of how I interpreted different challenges the FRG was facing.

The initial experience became the norm for my interactions with unit spouse organizations. As we continued to PCS I was constantly put in the role of sanity checker of the group. Comically this is not even a title my wife allows me to even remotely occupy in our family however among a collection of like-minded military spouses a uniquely different voice can often shed fresh insight onto routine operations.

I don’t mean to imply that every instance of entering this traditionally female-dominated environment was easy and fulfilling.

I have had my share of exclusions from play dates because of perceptions. Along with the unsteady looks at the playground when I would be there with my daughter.

My status as a male military spouse has excluded me from several events, but it has also allowed me to speak openly when my fellow spouses feel compelled to describe their problems.

After all you can’t blame a guy if he just comes right out and states the problem; right?

Just kidding guys, they can blame you.

Today’s military has changed since the late 90s and early 2000s. The modern family dynamics are ever evolving and the network of wives, husbands, partners and friends helping their service members succeed are stronger than ever before.

I love my role as a male military spouse and I am thankful for the opportunities and relationships it has afforded me to experience.

Are you a male military spouse? Do you feel like a unicorn? Share your perspective with us.

Eric Gardner was raised in a military family and lived around the world. Following in his father’s footsteps, he joined the U.S. Army as an Infantry Officer. Since the end of his wartime service he has shifted gears and is now a stay-at-home father. In his role as an active duty Army spouse, he has become an author. As the creator of the XIII Legion Series he has enjoyed great success, and enjoys meeting other entrepreneurial spouses as well as fellow authors . You can see more from Eric Gardner at his Facebook page: www.facebook.com/thirteenthlegion.series, and http://www.facebook.com/XIIILGN or follow him via Twitter @13thLegion.

How I Find the Fun in Mandatory Fun

10/28/2017 By Kimber Green

There are so many wonderful aspects of military life, but for some mandatory fun is not one of them.

Mandatory fun or required attendance at military social events is not always fun.

Some events are a bit stuffy and too formal. Some are too crowded and impersonal. Others are family oriented or for adults only. They don’t always fit in with your schedule and logistics can be difficult. Still, you are required to attend and so you do.

These mandatory fun events can actually be fun.

It’s all in how you perceive it. If you go in with the mindset that you won’t enjoy it, then you likely won’t have a good time.

Next time you have mandatory fun scheduled, try to have fun. Look for the positive in what otherwise could be a time where you are negative.

Formal military events, for example, are not my favorite.

A military ball is definitely mandatory fun in my book. I don’t like all the preparation it takes. Service members have it so easy; all they have to do is put on their uniform.

I, on the other hand, have to go dress shopping because of course you can’t wear the same formal gown to multiple events. Then you have to find shoes and a handbag to go with the dress. Shopping takes all day.

Add kids into the mix and you either have to drag them along shopping or get someone to watch them. On the day of the formal event it takes ages to get ready.

Mandatory military social events can be stressful, boring and time consuming. But try to find the positive in every event that you are required to attend with your service member. It may help make mandatory fun more fun for you.

Once at this mandatory fun, you mingle with people you don’t know. You listen to the service members talk about work using all sorts of acronyms. How are there so many acronyms in the military? I have no idea or at least a minimal idea of what they are talking about. It is always shop talk.

Though preparing for this mandatory fun is no fun at all, the events usually are. I get to talk to military spouses that I otherwise might not see. I meet some people my husband works with and put a face to names I’ve only heard.

If nothing else, there’s usually wine.

Military family events can be time consuming.

You might have had other plans for the weekend but had to cancel them because this was a mandatory fun event. If your children are in sports, scouts or other organized groups, you might be driving between events. It can be a hectic day. Children will likely get overstimulated and over tired. There might be a meltdown or two as well.

Family events are more mandatory fun for my husband then for me though. He doesn’t like giving up his free time to see people that he works with all week long. I understand that.

For me however, this is fun. I don’t get to see those people or their families as much. These types of events can be stressful with logistics and behavior, but they can also be fun. I love to see my babies dressed up with the theme of the event. I like to bake so potluck events are great.

Sure we’ll be very tired at the end of the day, but it’s worth it.

Mandatory fun can be fun if you look at the bright side of it.

Holiday parties are another instance of mandatory fun that really can be fun. The bright side for me is that I get to see the look on my son’s face when he meets Santa or the Easter Bunny.

That’s priceless.

I get overwhelmed when there are a ton of children running around and our son follows in, but these events are few and far between so I can handle it as long as there’s a coffee in my hand.

How do you find the fun in mandatory fun events?

5 Ways to Gain Professional Skills Without Going Back to College

10/20/2017 By Veronica Jorden

I’ll admit it, there was a time when I wanted to be a famous actress. I wanted to devour a screenplay and give my own personal flair to the leading character.

I also wanted to be an innkeeper.

And a baker.

And a wedding planner.

Oh, and of course, a famous author.

While I haven’t quite been able to add all of those things to my resume, I have managed to stay gainfully employed over the last 20 years despite moving every few years. Up until recently, I did it without a college degree.

Don’t get me wrong, if you have a chance to get a degree, I highly recommend it, but going back to school isn’t the only way to learn new professional skills and boost a resume.

Here are a few of the ways I built up my skill set.

5 Ways to Gain Professional Skills Without Going Back to College

Free College Classes

This sounds off, right? How does taking free college classes mean not going to college? When those classes are part of an adult learning program, of course.

You can tap into the wealth of knowledge college professors and instructors have to offer by looking into local adult learning classes. Many times the classes are taught in the evenings or on weekends in local high schools or community centers.

Want to learn a new computer skill?

How to select the proper wine for a steak dinner?

Take a quality photograph?

You can learn all of these things and tons more by signing up for one of these courses. Plus, it’s a great way to meet and network with others who have similar interests.

Volunteer

Can I just tell you how many great nonprofit organizations out there would jump for joy to have someone who is willing to learn and is giving of their time? Volunteering is a great way to jump into an organization and learn about how they do things.

I learned a great deal about people management and branding while working for a nonprofit. Find a cause that speaks to your heart and then look for a way to get involved.

Volunteermatch.org is a fantastic resource and offers both local and online volunteer opportunities.

Lynda.com

If ever there was a paradise for learning software and creative skills, Lynda.com might be it. Want to learn how to use Photoshop? How to create an effective social media campaign? How to create a WordPress site? Lynda.com offers all of these and more.

I love that you can learn on your own time and at your own pace. A subscription is required, but it’s well worth the access to hundreds and hundreds of training videos.

Temporary Positions

There is nothing better than on-the-job training. I worked for several temporary agencies when I was a young military spouse.

Each job did 3 things:

1. Provided a paycheck

2. Gave me real-life experience to add to my resume

3. Taught me something new

The first two are a given if you show up on time. Learn something new required me to pay attention to my surroundings and to ask questions.

If someone needed an extra set of hands or eyes, I was quick to jump in. Exposure to new software and industry practices is another benefit.

Plus, many temporary agencies have training programs. I worked for Robert Half International for a long time and they have a great training network available to their temporary employees. Not only can you take training courses, but then you can test to demonstrate you’ve mastered a new skill.

Internships

Sometimes a good internship can be hard to come by, but with a little work, you can find them. Some are reserved for college students, but there are still plenty more open to everyone.

Some internships pay, many do not.

Like volunteering, internships are a great way to see how successful businesses operate. But unlike volunteering, internships are designed to help you learn.

Even as I’m writing this post, I’m eyeballing an unpaid remote internship opportunity with a literary magazine. It won’t bring in a paycheck, but it will give me a chance to hone a skill I already have and provide another great bullet for my resume.

What professional skills are you looking to add to your resume?

I Love These 8 Books About Military Life

10/16/2017 By Veronica Jorden

I’m a reader. An avid reader. Give me a rainy afternoon, a hot cup of tea and a book and I’m golden.

I Love These 8 Books About Military Life

Do you read books about military life and the experiences of military spouses? Which ones are your favorites?

If you’re like me, then you might consider checking out a few of the following books. These 8 books offer great insight and reflection on military life.

Some have made me cry, others had me laughing. And still others have given me pause to reflect on how things have changed in this country and offer a reminder of what service to our country really means.

I Love These 8 Books About Military Life

“15 Years of War” by Kristine Schellhaas

I was lucky enough to get to work with the author of this book during the editing process. What really stuck with me throughout the entire process is the authenticity of the life that author Kristine Schellhaas depicts.

It’s a he-said, she-said account of the life of a military family starting just prior to 9/11. It shares the ups and downs so many of us are familiar with and offers a glimpse at how resilient military families truly are.