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When Will My House Feel Like Home?

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Moving. It’s part and parcel to the whole military family way of life.

When Will My House Feel Like Home?

How long does it take until you feel at home in a new duty station?

If you are new to the military, then you might only have a couple of moves under your belt. If you’re like me, a more “seasoned” military spouse and brat, then you probably need a moment to tally all the places you’ve called home.

Hand in hand with constantly finding a “new’ home, comes a lingering feeling of transience.

At what point does that freshly painted on-post duplex or 4-bedroom off-base house start to feel like home?

When I Was a Kid

When I was a kid, my active-duty parents whisked me across oceans to both Europe and Asia. Every trip meant picking out the must-have toy to take with me and saying goodbye to every other toy and possession, sometimes for months at a time.

Nothing made a house feel more like home than getting to unpack all my things and finding just the right spot for each and every toy.

Add in a few Saturday morning cartoons and the occasional batch of homemade chocolate chip cookies and things were golden.

When your household goods finally arrive, make setting up your child’s room a priority. Then, try to get back into a routine as quickly as you can. Bedtime stories, bath time, and yes, even cookies, can help take the fear out of a new place. Young kids are amazingly resilient, but familiar items and routines will help them to adjust.

When I Was a Teen

The older I got, the harder it got to move. While unpacking my things helped me to feel settled, a sense of home never really surfaced until we returned to our normal routine.

Things like school and (I can’t believe I am saying this!) Saturday morning chores made me forget that things were new. I guess nothing says home like homework and a toilet brush.

If you have a teenager in your home (or, God help you, more than one, like me!), the same rules apply about routine. As a parent, try to be patient.

The adjustment might take a little longer for your teenagers, but it will come.

Take advantage of opportunities to create special memories in your new home, even some specifically associated with moving.

Use up some of that seemingly endless supply of packing paper for a paper snowball fight.

Take turns picking a place for dinner so you can explore your new neighborhood.

And make sure you take time to Skype or email friends from your last duty station. A familiar voice can help make the transition a little easier.

When I Was an Adult

For a brief time, in my late teens and early twenties I ventured out into the world on my own. I stayed with extended family and a few friends as I worked my way through college, but it never really felt like home. Even moving into my own apartment felt empty and lonely.

Shortly thereafter I joined the Army. My barracks room became my inspection-ready sanctuary and my barracks-mates my family. But we all knew those digs were only temporary and none of us ever really felt like we were home.

It wasn’t until I married my husband and we started our own family that I felt like I had a home again.  Hanging curtains, painting walls and making sure that every box was unpacked or hidden away in storage was and is always the first step to making it feel like home again for us.

Enjoy the process of discovery that comes from unpacking all of those things you love. Then, once you’ve emptied all of those boxes, make a point to entertain a few guests if you can.

Nothing makes a house feel more like a home than putting out a welcome mat and extending a little hospitality.

Dozens of Moves Later

Just over a year ago, we purchased what will be our last home as an active-duty Army family. Bits and pieces of the life we have built are seen in every corner, but it is only recently that this house has started to feel like home to me.

My kids are nearly grown, with one already discussing plans to move out. And so, the idea of home is changing once again.

How can it be home if we are not all together? Will our home become just a living museum of the memories collected as we traveled from place to place?

I suppose only time will tell.

How long does it take until you feel at home in a new duty station?

What is PCS Remorse and How to Get Over It

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As summer draws to an end, most of us who followed a set of PCS orders to a new duty station have arrived, found a place to live and unpacked our household goods.

The whirlwind rush of cross-country or transcontinental travel has dissipated. You’ve identified the best route to the commissary, clinic and a decent take-out place. And now that the shock and excitement of all things new has begun to wear off, the reality of our current situation begins to set in.

Maybe your new on-base housing is sub-par to your previous location.

Maybe the weather is always cold or gray and rainy.

Maybe the neighbors are standoffish and the only options for extracurricular activities for the kids is the one thing they aren’t interested in.

And to top it all off, the friends you left behind keep posting updates from your favorite old hang-outs. Or worse yet, maybe your milspouse bestie has PCSed to some tropical wonderland and her Instagram account is overflowing with pictures of sunsets, beaches and fruity umbrella drinks.

Suddenly, everywhere you look things are wrong and you’d give anything to pack everything back up and go somewhere, anywhere else.

There’s no doubt, you’ve got it.

You’ve got PCS remorse and you’ve got it bad.

Chin up chickadee. While your apprehension and dissatisfaction with a less-than-stellar duty station is normal, you can overcome that negative outlook. All it takes is a little adjustment in perspective.

What is PCS Remorse and How to Get Over It

Have you ever found yourself hating your duty station?

Look for Something Good to Focus on

No matter how bad something is, there is always a silver lining. And if that little voice in your head tells you things are bad, it can color how you see everything around you. Even the good.

Make a point to find something good, something you like about your new location.. Even if it’s just the fact that the water pressure in the shower is out of this world, seeing one good thing can be a stepping stone to others.

Remember that Social Media isn’t Always the Whole Truth

Yes, those amazing tropical sunsets are enviable, but try to keep in mind that most people only tend to share the best and most positive aspects of their lives. So while the beach is pretty, the horrendous traffic, dinosaur-sized mosquitoes, and $8 gallon of milk offer balance for all of that dreamy scenery.

Get Mad, Get Sad and Then Get Over It

Change is hard, especially when it’s abrupt or doesn’t live up to expectations.

It’s OK to get mad or to be a little blue. Those are normal and natural emotions that must be expressed in order to be resolved. Give yourself some time to grief and adjust, but then focus on making the most of what you’ve got.

While things might not be great, they can almost always be worse. Decide to change your perspective and then work to make it happen.

Sometimes finding things to look forward to can help. Maybe it’s taking a long bath every Friday night. Maybe it’s pizza for dinner on Sundays or a nightly jog up to a pretty vantage point. Whatever it is, let yourself enjoy it.

Forget everything else and live in that moment. Joy can brighten your outlook and help to make everything else look a little less glum.

Make a Plan for Distraction

If simply going about your daily routine isn’t enough to shake off those negative feelings, make deliberate plans to engage in an activity that will distract you.

A new exercise routine, planting a garden, taking up a new hobby, volunteering or even going back to school can help you find something to devote your energy to. Focus your energy on learning and growing despite your surroundings. You’ll be amazed at how much it helps to make even the bleakest of days look better.

Have you ever found yourself hating your duty station? What did you do to get through that challenging time?

How to Handle an OCONUS PCS in 25 Steps

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Whether you were hoping for this assignment or you winced when the PCS orders hit, an OCONUS move is not for the faint of heart. You have a lot of things you need to do and you need to do them all right now.

How to Handle an OCONUS PCS in 23 Steps

You will survive your international military move.

Don’t stress. Just follow our handy guide to rock this PCS!

How to Handle an OCONUS Move in 25 Steps

Hit Pause

Why? Because there are no official orders, just the “word” that these documents are coming. While you have tons of things to do, very few things can proceed without at least web orders.

Passports

Planning to travel while OCONUS? Apply for tourist passports for your family now. During peak times, passports can take up to 8 weeks to process. You will want to have these well before you leave, just in case. Take double passport pictures now, and only use one set for the tourist passports. Keep reading to find out why!

Pet Health

Have a pet? Great! Just make sure that you read up on the import requirements for your OCONUS duty station. Most overseas countries require additional vaccinations and quarantine periods.

Book your vet visit now. Be sure to bring hard copies of the animal import requirements to all future vet visits. Also, record all dates related to quarantine in your phone or planner.

PCM Check-In

Schedule a visit with your PCM even before web orders hit. Let your doctor know where you are headed and when you think you will be leaving. Ask that they review your medical record off-the-books and alert you to any bumps in the road. Do the same for your children.

Shots, Shots, Shots

Everybody gets shots! We’re talking HepA, B and C. Let’s add in a little TDAP and MMR for good measure. When your PCM checks your records, ask them to confirm your vaccinations and compare your records to the requirements for your next duty station. Then head to immunizations and roll up your sleeves.

Check Housing

Still no orders? No problem! Check out housing while you wait. Be sure to investigate all possible options, but remember that you probably won’t get to choose where you live. Do a double take when you see how much space the OCONUS houses offer. (Hint: it’s smaller than American base housing.)

Have a Yard Sale

After seeing how much space you might have, hold a yard sale! Try to sell your bulky or rarely used items. Put all of your profits into your pet travel fund.

Join Facebook Groups

There are Facebook groups for every duty station. Go find yours now. Then ask:

  • How does housing work?
  • How do I get a pet over here?
  • Will my family survive this?
  • What happens on the medical clearance boards?

Wait for answers patiently. After all, orders are still not “official” yet.

Research Pet Travel

After checking with Facebook, contact your local travel office to find out about pet travel. When you hear that the military flights have pet spots, rejoice! When you hear all the restrictions, cry. Then look into commercial travel and be happy for the yard sale money.

As soon as you have confirmed travel arrangements, work on getting your furry friends either on the same flight or ready to travel in another way. There are several reputable pet transit services out there and a few airlines that will fly military pets as unaccompanied baggage.

Celebrate

Hooray! Orders have officially arrived and you may pass GO. Be prepared to wait some more.

Health Check

You may now proceed with the overseas medical screening. Luckily, you’ve updated your vaccinations and previewed your medical records for any hiccups. Ask your PCM’s office for a hard copy of your health record. Then call the overseas screening office at the military treatment facility (the on-base clinic or hospital) closest to you. Schedule an appointment ASAP.

Be prepared to answer deeply personal questions about health issues that have long been resolved or are controlled. Wait nervously while a doctor you have never seen before decides if you are healthy enough to move OCONUS.

Be Ready to Wait

Even though orders are “official,” you are still waiting. Why? Medical and area clearance. Before the moving and travel offices will book you, your family will need to have area clearance. To get area clearance, you need medical clearance.

But What About the Car?

No, seriously, what are you going to do with the car(s)? In all the hustle to get the pets, house and humans ready, you forgot the multi-ton machine in your garage.

You have a few choices: store it, ship it or sell it.

The military will likely cover the costs (ship or store) of one car per family. If you were thinking “ship it” you might want to double check that it’s allowed where you are going. If not, start thinking about whether you want to store it or sell it.

Motivate

Do repeat image searches for your OCONUS duty station to remind you of how awesome it’s going to be once you do arrive.

Pet File

As your pet proceeds with quarantine and vaccinations keep every single piece of paper in one place. Make copies of everything. Get every copy notarized according to your new location’s requirements. Double check every document to ensure it’s been filled out correctly and with the right color ink.

Passports Part 2

Remember those extra passport pictures? Pull them out and bring them with you to get your no-fee government passport. You’ll go through your base to do this using a special form and documents. You will not have to pay for these. They will look exactly like your tourist passports.

Moving Dates

There will be 3 parts to this move: long-term storage, household goods and unaccompanied baggage. If you are lucky, there will be 3 separate individual moving days. Schedule long-term storage last so that anything that won’t fit in the other 2 shipments will stay stateside.

Double check your weight allowance for your duty station. Plan another yard sale.

Schedule Travel

Talk to the people who book your flights. Find out about how the travel options work. Ask:

  • Does everyone have to go on the military flight?
  • Can dependents elect to travel commercially and be reimbursed?
  • What about pets?

Expect to not like what you hear. Return to this office regularly to try to find a solution that works for you.

Sort Your Stuff

Sort everything you own into piles: store, trash, sell or donate, household goods, unaccompanied and suitcases. Try to estimate the total weight you will be bringing with you.

Hold another yard sale to get rid of extra weight and things you don’t want to store for 3 years. Be ready to give precious documents and photos to relatives for the duration.

Pack It In

Once everything is sorted, get packing! Luckily, the government contracted movers will do your big shipments, but it is smart to physically separate your stuff.

Put your packed suitcases in a separate locked or blocked room. Hire a babysitter and schedule your pets for day care.

Then kick back and make sure that all of your things are properly packed, labeled and accounted for.

Give Away

Do you have some things that just didn’t fit in any of your shipments? Time to give those things away to your nearest and dearest! Pass on those cleaning supplies, random pantry items and extra toilet paper.

Drive Time

It’s time to make the final, final car decision. Bring your car to the designated place if you are shipping it or storing it. Confirm where your car is headed and what the terms of the agreement include. Or get ready to list the car for sale. Get ready to be low balled if you’re selling it personally. You can also sell your vehicle to a dealership, which is way less stressful.

Go Home

Moving OCONUS means that you will be very far from family for several years. Take some time to visit your family and friends before you take off. Eat your local comfort foods, visit Target and stock up on anything you might miss overseas.

Wheels Up

It’s time for take-off! Your bags are packed and devices are fully charged. Before you board make sure you’ve packed:

  • Enough snacks for the flights
  • Entertainment that is easy to carry
  • Empty water bottles
  • Power strip, chargers and headphones
  • Blanket, travel pillow and earplugs or eye mask

Touch Down

You’ve finally landed in your OCONUS duty station. Congrats! You survived your international military move. You have 3 years before you have to tackle this beast again.

What are your best tips for an OCONUS PCS? Share your advice in the comments!

Should Military Spouses Have a Spending Allowance?

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Not long ago, women were expected to marry, have children, and live a life dedicated to home and husband.

It was what society told women they could and should do. Money, like education, was deemed too complicated for women, despite the fact that managing a home required the ability to budget and plan.

In fact, it wasn’t until the beginning of the 20th century that women were legally seen as independent financial beings, capable of holding property and wealth separate from her father or her husband. It took another 70 years before women could open a credit card account without a husband co-signer.

But for all of this progress and financial independence, some modern-day women find themselves at the whim of their husbands, financially speaking.

When first presented with the idea that some stay-at-home military wives are granted an “allowance” for taking care of the household necessities, I was more than a little dumbfounded.

Should Military Spouses Have an Spending Allowance?

After nearly 20 years of marriage, I will admit that money issues are at the top of the list of things we argue about.

Is this practice a way for controlling husbands to keep their wives on a short spending leash?

Does it imply that these military spouses are incapable of handling money? Or that they are untrustworthy?

Can a healthy military marriage survive this kind of arrangement?

Is a Spending Allowance a Trust Issue?

In Kristine Schellhaas’s book, “15 Years of War,” she recounts her life as a Marine Corps spouse, including her time spent as the leader of the unit spouse organization. During that time, she often counseled young Marines headed out on deployment to ensure their spouses had access to their bank accounts.

Turns out, many of these same Marines said “I do” in a hurry because of the deployment and the idea of giving financial access to someone they hardly knew (wife or not) was a bit daunting.

I certainly can’t begrudge them for their concerns, but like Schellhaas pointed out to these Marines, a great many more problems could arise should a spouse be left without access.

A set allowance hardly provides wiggle room for emergencies or unexpected expenses and in times when a service member isn’t available on a routine basis, it’s not hard to imagine the difficulties a military spouse might face.

But these newly married military spouses aren’t the only ones earning an “allowance.”

The Monetary Worth of a Stay-At-Home Spouse

While a get-hitched-get-deployed kind of marriage might suffer from a few trust issues, it’s hardly the kind of thing one would expect from a couple who married under less time-constrained circumstances. However, a quick search of military spouse forums reveals that many military families operate in this fashion.

Since a stay-at-home spouse doesn’t have an employer, the monetary value of the work they do is often hard to estimate. According to Salary.com if stay-at-home mothers were paid for their work at a similar rate as someone employed full-time, they would earn well into 6 figures.

But it seems in some cases, stay-at-home spouses feel guilty asking for money as they don’t directly contribute financially to a family’s income. They are left feeling less valuable than their paycheck-earning spouse and an allowance, while possibly intended as a way of providing some financial freedom, often ends up feeling like payment for services rendered.

Hardly a healthy outlook for a marriage between 2 competent and loving adults.

A Rose by Any Other Name

Discussion of this issue often calls out the controversy that stems from the use of the word “allowance?” It tends to imply one spouse wielding financial power over another.

But, if it were termed “monthly budget” would so many cringe at the thought? If both spouses were limited to an “allowance” would we find less to critique?

After nearly 20 years of marriage, I will admit that money issues are at the top of the list of things we argue about. I have and often still suffer from feelings of guilt in knowing I am capable of earning as much as my spouse, but my income, due to choices we have made as a family, is dwarfed by my active-duty spouse. And there have been plenty of times when we have limited ourselves to an allowance to ensure we stayed on budget.

What I can’t condone, however are those instances where an allowance is used as a power grab. For me, a healthy marriage means both spouses are equally responsible for the well-being of their family, be it earning a paycheck or managing a household. And as long as couples openly discuss spending expectations, whether you call it an allowance or not is really of little consequence. Communicating openly and honestly about your money to each other benefits your marriage.

Now it’s your turn. What do you think of allowances for military spouses?

If They Made Military Spouse Medals, We’d Want These

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Our military men and women earn medals, ribbons and awards for going above and beyond the call of duty. Well, military spouses certainly serve in their own way in their own communities, just with much less recognition.

If They Made Military Spouse Medals, We'd Want These

What medals, ribbons or awards do you think military spouses earn during their military life journey?

If military spouses were to earn medals, ribbons or awards, these are a few that we would like to see.

If They Made Military Spouse Medals, We’d Want These

Faithful Friend Award

Military spouses stick together through thick and thin. We show up, with snacks and drinks, during the worst of times. From pinch-hitting on child care to celebrating birthdays, we are there for each other. Sometimes, we even fill in for deployed spouses during birth and delivery!

Through thick and thin, our military spouse friendships sustain and support us across the miles.

Positive PCS Ribbon

We don’t get to pick where we live and most times, we don’t get even a little bit of a say or even a top 5 list. Instead, no matter where we land, we try to make the very best of any situation.

Before we even move, we research new schools, parks and local attractions in our new hometown. We are pumping up the kids and ourselves, planning fun experiences and decorating new bedrooms.

Balanced Budget Campaign Medal

Military salaries are not plush when compared to the amount of risk and work taken to earn them. Military spouses are often forced to take salaries below their education level or remain unemployed, due to frequent moves. Balancing that tight budget can be tricky.

Through dedicated coupon cutting and savvy shopping, we somehow figure it out. We serve nutritious meals. We purchase clothes to suit every clime and place. And we keep a roof over our heads, even if that home has very white walls.

It’s not easy, but we make it work!

Career Flexibility Merit Award

Military spouses are ambitious. Many of us have college degrees, some of us even have advanced education. Others have certifications in a slew of careers, from beauty to child care. We are always trying to find that next thing, at the next duty station.

Despite all that education and planning, military spouses are notoriously underemployed or unemployed. Yet, we take the setbacks and hiccups in our careers in stride. When we can’t find something that perfectly suits our background, we create positions or retrain in a different field. We volunteer to learn new skills.

Above all, we are flexible and willing to meet the needs of the military. Even when that means sacrificing a job that we love.

Meritorious Volunteer Ribbon

When a military unit needs something handled, the military spouse is right there. We are ready to serve in volunteer positions both on and off base. From family readiness groups to religious organizations, we are more than willing to step in.

Military units rely on us to organize care packages, host family fun days and activate phone trees. Without us, so many necessary tasks wouldn’t get accomplished.

Family Travel Agent Award

Everyone loves a vacation! Military spouses are experts at planning economical and fun adventures. We work those military discounts like a boss.

We search out places that will cut us a deal on hotels, cruises and airfare. From Disney’s Military Salute discounted tickets to Sandal’s 10% discount, we are like bloodhounds for the best deals.

Facebook Friendship Medal

Facebook and blogs have created connections between military spouses across continents and around the world. We reach out to each other online with questions, concerns and helpful hints. Facebook groups help us to find job leads and the best restaurants in our new hometown.

Social media is our sounding board and go-to place for stand-in therapists. We get the dirt on Tricare rules and regulations, and can ask the what-ifs of life. Even after our spouses have left active service, online groups allow us to connect to friends in similar situations.

The best part is when our online friends turn into real life friends. With how often we move, the chances are good that one day soon you’ll bump into a Facebook friend IRL.

What medals, ribbons or awards do you think military spouses earn during their military life journey? Tell us in the comments section.

8 Photo Ops Every Military Couple Should Take Advantage Of

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When I was a kid, one of my favorite things to do on a rainy afternoon was to look through old family photo albums. Not many of us take the time anymore to print out duplicate prints and bind them up into a notebook-sized trip down memory lane, but we are still a culture of pictures.

There are milestone photos of the kids, of course. Then there’s the annual family photo and the wallet-sized school pictures.

But are you forgetting to take photos that document your relationship with your spouse or significant other too?

Just like keeping the stubs from the concert tickets you got for your birthday or the hand-painted trinket from your cruise last summer, photos with your spouse help you to remember the journey you’ve taken together. Whether you keep them in a three-ring binder or in a virtual photo bucket somewhere in the cloud, make sure you remember to point the camera lens at the two of you together.

8 Photo Ops Every Military Couple Should Take Advantage Of

A promotion is a big day in your service member’s career. Don’t forget to ask someone to snap a photo of the two of you.

Need some ideas for what pictures to take? Here are my top 8 photo opportunities all military couples should take advantage of:

Photos Documenting the Military Service Journey

Military service provides the security for your relationship, and quite frankly, nothing reminds me more of the reasons that made me fall in love with my husband than seeing him in uniform. My guess is I’m not the only one. So make sure you snap a photo or two of you and your spouse whenever you attend official military functions.

  • Promotions. This is a big day in every service member’s career, but it is also a milestone for your life together. Plus it gives you a great visual of the uniform evolution you’ve seen together. Don’t forget to take a photo at your service member’s reenlistment ceremonies too.
  • Graduations. They’ve put in the hours of work studying and training, and you’ve likely been left to manage the homefront so they can focus solely on advancement. Graduation photos are a way to celebrate a spouse’s military achievement.
  • Retirement. Like the light at the end of a very long tunnel, make sure you take the time to bask in the celebration that comes with retirement from military service. They’ve done the time in uniform, but you’ve been there too. A great photo of the two of you during the ceremony or the after celebration is a must-have photo.
  • Birthday Balls and Galas. It’s not often we get to call the military lifestyle glamorous, so take advantage while you can. Best part? These events often hire photographers, so all you have to do is show up and smile.
  • Farewells and Homecomings. These are some of the most important photos to have, not only for posterity, but to keep close during separations. Take the time to take a photo of every goodbye and every return. In those moments when the relationship requires a little extra work or distance brings loneliness, these photos are a great reminder of how much you mean to each other.
8 Photo Ops Every Military Couple Should Take Advantage Of

Take the time to take a photo of every goodbye and every military homecoming.

Photos Documenting Your Relationship Journey

There are the standard must-haves like wedding and anniversary photos, but those are one day out of the year and aren’t often a true representation of your life together. Annual family photos are a great way to make sure you capture the kids as they grow (and yourselves as you age!), but they don’t capture the candid, funny and intimate moments that make the everyday so special.

  • Laughing Together. There are some that say a relationship filled with laughter is one destined to last forever. Even if it’s a selfie or a quick pic taken by the passerby you snag at the park, make sure you capture a funny moment now and then.
  • Hobbies. If the two of you are known to tear up the dance floor, swing a mean backhand or cook up a 7-course feast, make sure you capture you and your significant other in action. Not only will it serve as a reminder of all the things you love to do together, but it’s a great way to capture how doing those things might change or have to be modified with each duty location. Tennis in Alaska anyone? How about skiing in Texas?
  • Travel. Seeing the world (or even various parts of the United States) is a huge perk of military service, so make sure you take advantage of it. And don’t forget to take your camera. While you are filling your SD card with images of castles in England, Mount Fuji, or the California coastline, don’t forget to jump into the frame with your spouse. Memories are often fleeting. A picture will help you remember how clear the sky was that day or how cold the wind was, and how amazing it felt to be there…together.

Do you love taking photos? Submit your favorite photo with your service member to MilitaryShoppers’ monthly photo contest today.

From the Mountains to the Oceans, Your Favorite Military Bases

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Our team of writers shared their list of their favorite military bases and now it’s your turn. So many of you commented on that article and shared with us your favorite places that you’ve been stationed at that we wanted to write a second article about the best military bases around the world.

We’ve collected the highlights and would love to get even more feedback from our readers on this topic.

Your 7 Favorite Military Bases

Joint Base Lewis-McChord

With Army base Fort Lewis and McChord Air Base located so close together, consolidating was a great choice. By joining forces, both services are better able to serve everyone. Roberta Castile loved living there!

“You have a choice where to shop,” she commented.

Joint Base Lewis-McChord is located in Lakewood, Wash., on the Puget Sound and near Mount Rainier. With easy access to Olympia and Tacoma, military families stationed here have access to both the great outdoors and city life!

Travis Air Force Base

If you enjoy being in the center of the action, this might be the military base for you! Travis AFB is located in the greater San Francisco Bay area and close to Napa and Sonoma valleys.

Residents can experience the culture of San Francisco close at hand. Napa and Sonoma are some of the premier wine destinations in the United States and the world.

In addition, Travis is a passenger travel hub with Space-A transit available to many other locations around the world.

“(The) food is awesome and the sights are too numerous to mention,” commented reader Eric. “If you ride motorcycles like I do, they have some of the best backroads anywhere in the world!”

MacDill Air Force Base

Located near Tampa, Fla., MacDill is a beautiful place to spend a few years, or to retire! The base itself is located on land right in the middle of Tampa Bay, with access to the water.

This is also a center for Cuban culture and cuisine. If you like a little more adventure, theme parks are also close by. Outdoorsy types can play on the water and land, with almost endless options to stretch their muscles.

MacDill is also close to St. Petersburg, which is a top tourist destination. The sub-tropical climate means that you will never be too chilly. With an average of 361 sunny days per year, this is the perfect place to soak up some rays.

Yokota Air Force Base

Traveling overseas is a great opportunity for military families and Yokota AFB is the perfect military base to explore Asia. Starting close to home, military members can visit Tokyo and mainland Japan, including Tokyo Disney. There is so much to see, do and taste here! From eating traditional sushi and ramen noodles to learning about the culture of geisha to visiting ancient castles, your duty station bucket list will always be full.

If you want to go farther afield, it’s fairly easy to visit South Korea, Hong Kong and other Asian countries.

Fort Bliss

Fort Bliss, located in El Paso, Texas, is a hub of military activity on the edge of the United States. The US-Mexico border is only a hop, skip and a jump away! That means that you have access to amazing Mexican and Tex-Mex cuisine and culture.

Ciudad Juarez is right across the border in Chihuahua, Mexico and offers lots of great places to eat and places to explore. El Paso also has its own exciting locations to visit, like outstanding regional wineries and a world-class zoo.

Plus, the base has undergone renovations in recent years.

“The Freedom Village and the expansion of the base has made a big impact with the military and civilian community, offering a variety not found on other major installations,” commented Celio Quinones.

Joint Base Elmendorf-Richardson

For those that like it chilly, Joint Base Elmendorf-Richardson should be on your short list. Located in Anchorage, Alaska, this is a great place to connect with your adventurous roots.

Mount Denali is within traveling distance, as is Chugach National Forest. JBER is also located close to the water, although this bay will definitely be chillier than Tampa!

As an added bonus, living in Alaska counts as being stationed OCONUS, which means you get all the OCONUS perks, without really leaving the United States!

Patrick Air Force Base

Do you have a thing for space travel? Patrick Air Force Base south of Orlando, Fla., is perfect! This base operates Cape Canaveral, which supports space launches from the Kennedy Space Center.

As a bonus, Patrick AFB is located in southeastern Florida, within easy reach of the theme park center of Orlando. Plus, there are all the beaches and vacation destinations that will be super close to your new home!

Did we mention YOUR favorite military base? If we missed it, please let us know in the comments! Tell us where you loved being stationed and why.

Are the Challenges of Military Life Worth It?

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At the end of the year, I find myself feeling a little introspective. This year has brought a lot of ups and downs, but perhaps the most monumental aspect of this year for my family is this:

we had our last military move.

Retirement is just around the corner. I’m not sure I even believe it yet. I grew up traveling the world with 2 active-duty parents. I took the oath of enlistment myself and then settled into the familiar life of a military spouse.

Every single moment of the first 40 years of my life has been influenced by the military community.

I have never known health care that wasn’t Tricare. Words like PX, PCS, TDY and ACUs are a part of my regular vocabulary. I have seen countless iterations of uniforms, moved from one side of the world to the other, and started and left more jobs than I can count.

As I think about this past year and imagine what a fast-approaching civilian future might look like, I have to wonder if the challenges we’ve faced as a military family have been worth it.

It’s a question not easily answered and so I did what any military spouse would do. I leaned on my military community and asked them: what are the biggest challenges of our particular lifestyle?

I empathized with their responses, and it wasn’t long before I noticed that almost every challenge listed was directly tied to the transient nature of our lifestyle. With that in mind, I sat down and gave some thought to this particular aspect of my life. Has moving 19 times been worth it?

Change Moving Is Never Easy

No matter your MOS or career field, this is one aspect of our military life that we all share in.

Often it’s a hassle, sometimes it’s an adventure, but it is always stressful.

Making sure you can find adequate housing, ensuring the school district is acceptable, finding a new job, setting up a new support system, picking a new primary care physician, figuring out which gate is open, the list goes on and on. I can honestly say that even though I have done all of these things many times, they never get any easier.

Moving is exciting when it’s just a set of orders and a daydream about the possibilities, but a nightmare when your entire life is packed into boxes, your spouse is headed out to God knows where for who knows how long, and you don’t even know where the closest grocery store is.

And then there is the separation. Separation from a spouse sent on deployment or TDY. Separation from extended family. Separation from the friends and co-workers who became your surrogate family when you first arrived at the new military installation.

As I sat reliving the stress and strain of military life, I could feel my blood pressure begin to climb.

And then it hit me. The lessons this life has taught me are invaluable.

Lessons Blessings in Disguise

If I had never traveled the world, I wouldn’t have lived in the beautiful, red brick townhome in England. Never had milk delivered in glass bottles right to our door. Never discovered that boiled Brussels sprouts are entirely unpalatable. I would never have played hide-and-seek in the small grove of olive and apricot trees on Crete. Never learned to swim in the Mediterranean.

If I hadn’t changed schools ever couple of years, I would have missed out on friendships that forever changed the way I saw the world and understood people. I would never have listened to a foreign friend tell me her secret dream was to one day become an American.

If I hadn’t said goodbye to countless friends, I would never have had the chance to say hello to so many others.

If I hadn’t waved goodbye to my spouse, I might never have learned that I am strong, smart and able to take care of our household on my own. And I would never have been able experience the sweet relief of watching him walk through the front door unharmed.

If I hadn’t agreed to quit a job to go where the Army sent us, I might never have learned how to make giant Christmas bows or develop a database or process a mortgage. I might never have learned how to create websites or work in social media.

I might never have learned that friendship, comradery, resiliency and a sense of duty will always trump adversity.

So has military life been worth it? For me, I think the answer is undeniably, yes.

How would you answer this question: Knowing what you know now, would you live your military life all over again?

10 Assumptions I Had About Military Life

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Before I was a military spouse, I had all these notions about who, what and how military wives were and acted. Turns out, most of my assumptions were pretty inaccurate!

10 False Assumptions I Made About Military Life

1. All military spouses are women!

So, the term “military wife” is pretty rampant. After all, when you see those warm and fuzzy homecoming videos, it’s usually the female spouses on camera. So if you thought you would be surrounded by ladies, think again!

A 2011 study showed women make up 14.5 percent of active duty troops, with about 51 percent of these service members being married. Accounting for the 48 percent of married female service members in dual-military families, that leaves about 51,000 civilian spouses who are married to female troops.

Yes, that study didn’t account for same-sex relationships because it was commissioned before the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. Even with factoring that in, there are tens of thousands of male military spouses!

2. Being a service member is like a regular job.

This assumption went out the window real fast! With deployments, constant training missions, overnight duty and random weekends in the field, a “regular” job this is not.

There are definitely some assignments that operate on a more typical 7-5 schedule, but those are few and far between.

Our first assignment, right after getting married, was an immediate months-long training cycle for a 12-month deployment. My husband was never home for dinner and was gone before I woke up. That is, if he didn’t just stay at work.

3. All military spouses are the same.

I will be the first to admit that I went into military life imagining a Stepford-like situation: thousands of very conservative, very religious and very patriotic women.

Totally not the case!

Military spouses span the spectrum on both religious beliefs and political leanings. And the community is so inclusive of everyone. Whether you attend church or not, whether you vote red or blue or purple, there is a place and space for you to thrive.

10 Assumptions I Had About Military Life That Turned Out to Be False

What assumptions did you have about military life?

The patriotic thing though? That assumption is mostly true. Military spouses are definitely proud of our loved ones’ military service!

4. Everyone lives on base.

In our 3 tours, we have lived in on-base housing once. The other two times we rented homes off base.

Military housing, depending where you are stationed, can be hard to come by. There are often waiting lists for newly built or recently renovated neighborhoods. Other times, like certain overseas duty stations, military families might be required to live on base.

Often, houses out in town come with different perks. Some service members enjoy the separation of their work life and their home life. School districts might offer different resources in another town. Or the location, like on the beach or in the mountains, might just not be an option otherwise.

5. Everything is free or cheap.

We have all heard about the much touted military discounts and giveaways, right? From groceries to houses to theme park admissions, it can seem like lots of things are free.

This assumption is definitely 100 percent false.

While there are perks to being a military family, like complimentary admission to certain theme parks or organizations that provide things just for us, we are still just regular families who pay our own way.

6. Every sailor is on a ship, every airman flies and every soldier or Marine is infantry.

Each service member has a different job to do, just like in the civilian world.

Not everyone in the Air Force flies, for example. Some are doctors, lawyers or in charge of moving supplies around. Not every Marine carries a weapon and wears camo face paint. Some deal with the news media, some are in HR and some fly aircraft. And while many sailors are on the high seas, there are also those who serve on land in a variety of positions.

You can’t compare jobs, even in the same branch of service. Everyone has their own mission and objectives.

7. The great officer vs. enlisted debate.

Before joining the military spouse community, a lot of the word on the street was that officer spouses were snobby or that enlisted spouses were young.

I am going on record as saying this is absolutely not true! Literally nothing that you have heard about “how” officer or enlisted spouses behave or are is 100 percent accurate for every single person in that community.

Each spouse, each person, is their own individual self. No one fits a category or mold.

For the most part, every person I have come in contact with on this journey has been kind, helpful and generous to me and my family.

And spouses, unless also serving in the military, do not wear ranks. So, let’s just erase this one for good!

8. Military homecomings are picture perfect.

After waiting an additional few days and then several hot, sweaty hours in the sun, this assumption is definitely debunked.

Yes, military homecomings are usually a time filled with joy and happiness. Your service member is back safe and sound! But these events also come with some serious concerns.

Often homecoming dates and times are changed up until the very last minute, leaving families in the lurch when it comes to planning for child care or what to wear and bring.

Reintegration is a very real challenge. Your loved one has served in very different and often difficult situations for many months. He or she might have gone through hard times, including the loss of a friend or teammate. Sometimes, just rejoining family life is tough after months spent living on the military’s schedule.

9. Saying goodbye gets easier.

It’s not that it gets easier, it just becomes more normal.

You will still miss your spouse when they are gone, whether it is for a week or for a year. It is still hard sleeping alone, parenting alone and eating alone. You might still cry every time you say goodbye.

But with each farewell, you also have the knowledge that she or he will come home. You know the routine and can switch into it more easily.

10. You’ll see the world!

Or maybe just Kansas and Oklahoma.

There are military bases around the world, from right here in the United States to exotic overseas locations like Asia or Europe.

But not every military job or branch is able to move to every military base.

Some pilots can only fly their aircraft from certain locations. Or your family might only be able to receive health or educational services in certain places. Or your spouse’s branch of service isn’t in your dream location.

It totally depends in a lot of factors and the needs of the United States government.

The good news is that every duty station, near or far, has its own set of perks and benefits that can help make it feel like home!

What assumptions did you have about military life? Tell us in the comments section.

4 Positive New Year’s Resolutions for MilSpouses

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With the New Year less than a week away, resolutions are one of the first things that come to mind. It gives us a reason to start something new or get back on track with something that has been a project of ours for awhile.

The New Year is the perfect opportunity for us to reevaluate our lives. Resolutions aren’t for everyone and can be argued that military spouses should ditch it because our lifestyle is so fluid. It could be difficult to stick to a big commitment, especially if an unexpected PCS comes along or deployment.

As military spouses, I encourage exploring unique New Year’s resolutions that are perfectly tailored for the military lifestyle. Instead of focusing on what to “fix” with our lives, let’s create resolutions that bring out the best of military life.

4 Positive New Year’s Resolutions that Military Spouses Should Make in 2016

4 Positive New Year's Resolutions for Military Spouses

What’s your New Year’s resolution for 2016?

Revisit or create your duty station bucket list.

My husband and I made a huge Washington, D.C., bucket list when we first arrived. We were excited for the opportunity to go around and see all the history in our nation’s capital. Flash-forward almost 2 years now, we’ve only scraped the surface. It was just a month ago that my husband was able to visit the National Mall as a tourist, instead of quickly passing it by.

We’ve also gotten comfortable with our favorite places and would continue to go to them when we had free time (i.e. Shenandoah National Park) but there are so many other wonderful parks nearby too! Really, we should take our free time to cross off more points on our duty station bucket list.

In 2016, we’re going to revisit this list and make sure we’re on track to finish it completely before orders come our way. With that said, military spouses should take a look at their duty station bucket lists too.

Try a new activity.

I’ve met lots of truly amazing military spouses in my journey that have opened my eyes to some new activities. I recently participated in a painting party that was arranged by a local military spouse. It sounds silly, but I was nervous going into it at first because I don’t have much artistic ability. I had so much fun painting though!

Whether it’s a painting party or playing a new sport, a new activity is a wonderful way to engage with your local friends and maybe add another hobby to your list. Next time a military spouse invites you to a new activity, say yes and give it a shot!

Volunteer for something you are passionate about.

Military spouses love to give back to the community. I’ve witnessed that as a military kid and now as a military spouse. There are so many wonderful organizations out there that benefit our community.

It’s a natural addition to a military spouses’ resolution list.

I spend my free time volunteering at the local spouses’ club fundraising for dependent scholarships. It really gives me fulfillment to dedicate my time to help military spouses and children achieve higher education.

Travel to someplace new or unexpected.

I advocate for traveling. I blame my parents for giving me wanderlust as a military kid. It’s really opened my eyes to the world and has given me an appreciation for other cultures, even within the United States.

Yes, the military helps your wanderlust by stationing you at new locations every handful of years. Another great opportunity for military spouses to travel is tagging along for a TDY for at least part of the time (that’s how we saw the Grand Canyon).

But, don’t take your spouse’s leave time for granted either! Plan time to visit family and friends and take time off for a much needed vacation too.

My husband and I have been planning at least a week away at a new location every year we’ve known each other. This past year we went to Alaska, the year before that the Caribbean and we’re planning to go to New Zealand in 2016.

What’s your New Year’s resolution for 2016?