Military Life News

Military Life News, Commissary Rewards and Military Discounts

Alone and Lonely on Valentine’s Day

By

*This article was originally published on February 4, 2015.

For whatever reason, my husband always seems to be away from home on Valentine’s Day. He is either away for training, deployed or even at school. This means that ever since we became a military family, I have spent almost every Valentine’s Day alone. I think he was home last year and we didn’t even really know what to do with ourselves. We were so accustomed to spending that holiday away from one another.

Each year, I’m trying to figure out a way to make it through this romantic holiday that the rest of the world seems to be embracing.

 

It would be easy to ignore the day or pretend it isn’t a real holiday. On the other hand, I really want to find ways to make it special even when my love is on the other side of the world.

One way to connect with your spouse during this time is by sending a Valentine’s Day care package. You can take the time to find some of their favorite items to put in the package.  You can make it as romantic as you would like. Make sure that you do send the package in enough time so they get it before February 14.

 

At home, you can make plans to do something fun with your friends or your children. Host a Valentine’s Day play date. Have all the moms bring something to eat and have all the children bring valentines for each other. I have always felt better about missing the holidays with my soldier when I can spend the day with others, especially those who know what it’s like to be alone on those special days.

Treat yourself to a nice dinner. When we were in Germany, I had 2 small children at home with me. It wasn’t possible to take myself out to eat on Valentine’s Day. I also knew if I did, seeing couples together might be hard. I decided to order in my favorite food from a local restaurant. I put the kids to bed early and ate my meal while talking to my husband online. A very modern military way to spend Valentine’s Day. Of course it wasn’t the same as having him home, but it made life a little easier on that day.

Sometimes you just can’t talk to your spouse on Valentine’s Day. This can make it harder but try to remember, it’s only one day. Set up a time to chat as soon as you can and make the day special for your kids and your friends.

I have also found that making Valentine’s Day cookies, putting up a few decorations and thinking about how I fell in love with my soldier can help me embrace the holiday even though we are apart. Sometimes it is the little details that can help you get through the tough days of a deployment or a busy training schedule.

Related: 5 Tips for Saving Money During a Deployment

Missed holidays are going to happen when you are married to someone in the military. There is nothing you can do to change that. You can however make the day a little nicer and plan to have a good holiday anyway.

Is your spouse working, gone for training or deployed on February 14? What are your plans for Valentine’s Day?

*This article was originally published on February 4, 2015.

Photo Credit:
© artmim/Adobe Stock

Is Technology Killing the Romance of Deployments?

By

Romance is dead!

Technology killed it.

Is Technology Killing the Romance of Deployments?

I miss the low-tech deployments. My husband and I would write each other letters and it was a treat to talk on the phone for 15 minutes.

Gone are the days when people gradually got to know one and another one date at a time. The slow and steady pace of forming a serious relationship has been replaced by search engines, dating apps and social media.

The death of romance is evident in the evolution of technology during deployments.

Before you all start leaving passionate comments about how technology is the source of all romance in your relationships, please hear my experience (which by no means is a reflection or condemnation on your relationship).

Technology Has Invaded Our Deployments

Technology has invaded every aspect of our lives. It is in our cars, homes and schools. We can monitor pets through video, turn lights on and off with a simple command and even adjust the room’s temperature from the comfort of our beds. I admit these are conveniences I enjoy, but I believe technology has made us less connected and allowed us to be less engaged with one another.

During my husband’s first deployment, more than 10 years ago, we would write letters, usually describing our day but mostly expressing our love, our hopes for the future and dreams of our reunion.

Occasionally we were able to speak on the phone. This was a special gift usually delivered in pre-dawn hours. Our calls would only last 15 minutes (if we were lucky) then the operator would break in to inform us our time was limited, in those days I came to hate her.

My husband would wait in line for hours after pulling 24-hour duty for a 15-minute conversation. That dedication, my friends, is romance.

Skype, FaceTime and Facebook Live were not yet invented so the only image of your spouse would be in your thoughts, unless you were lucky enough to catch a glimpse of him in the unit’s newsletter. I can remember holding tight to pictures, trying desperately to remember his face, his eyes and his smile.

I Hoped I Would Recognize Him at His Homecoming

Anticipation for the moment we would lay eyes on each other for the first time in a year would build as the deployment days counted down.

I will never forget our reunions in those early days. Standing on a parade field, feeling my heart pound out of my chest. The buses came rolling by, my breathe trapped in my lungs.

The moment of our homecoming had come.

The band began to play as hundreds of soldiers marching through the trees.

Tears welled in my eyes.

Pride swelled my heart.

I stood for what seemed like hours, searching for his face, hoping I would recognize him after such a long time apart. Then like a fairytale, there he was standing before me, and just like that all was complete in my world.

I Miss the Letter-Writing Deployments When I Believe We Were Truly Able to Miss Each Other

Don’t misunderstand, I appreciate technology. I appreciate the ability to call or text my spouse when I need him, like when I feel defeated by our lawn equipment.

Is Technology Killing the Romance of Deployments?

I believe that technology is killing the romance of deployments.

I appreciate the opportunity for him to watch his children grow even when he’s far away.

But I do miss the low-tech days, when I believe we were truly able to miss each other, to go days, weeks and even months without contact. This time allowed us to appreciate the time we do get together and not take a moment of it for granted.

To this day, we still write letters when my husband is deployed and have only Skyped a few times during a deployment.

I know that seems crazy to most military couples, but it has worked for us for over 15 years.

Do you think technology has helped or harmed romance?

Is Selling Liquor at the Commissary a Good Idea?

By

Is selling liquor at the commissaries a good idea?

A study is currently being conducted to determine the feasibility of selling distilled spirits at the commissaries. At the end of July, 12 commissaries began selling beer and wine as part of a 90-day trial. So far, the trial has gone well.

The Defense Commissary Agency (DeCA) reported $70,658 in revenue from beer and wine sales by mid-August. That’s simply from 12 commissaries. When the trial ends, all commissaries will begin selling beer and wine.

DeCA does not need approval from the government to add distilled spirits to its shelves. That means you could be seeing liquor in the commissary in the near future.

Is Selling Liquor at the Commissary a Good Idea?

Alcohol abuse is common in the military. It isn’t just the service members that have a problem with alcohol. Military spouses do as well.

One of the reasons members of the Defense Department cited for wanting to add liquor to the sales floor was convenience. They said it was inconvenient for people to have to make multiple stops throughout their day to buy groceries and liquor.

Yes, it would certainly be more convenient to buy everything you need in one location.

The question though is, is selling liquor at the commissary a good idea?

If the commissary sells hard liquor, does the government become an enabler for service members abusing alcohol?

Problems stemming from the misuse of alcohol have cost the military greatly in terms of both money and productivity.

A study found that alcohol abuse costs the government $1.12 billion annually. That includes medical costs, the loss of 320,000 work days, 10,400 active duty service members becoming unable to deploy as well as 2,200 that separated from the military for alcohol-related reasons.

There are as many as 34,400 arrests each year of service members that involve alcohol.

These numbers are staggering.

Those on Capitol Hill said that of course the military does not condone excessive drinking and therefore, commissaries are not to glorify it. Carla Gleason, a Pentagon spokeswoman, had this to say,

Like all other activities on the installation, the commissaries will fully support the department’s programs, policies, and procedures to deglamorize the use of alcohol and discourage its irresponsible use. To this end, the commissary stores will offer only a limited assortment of beer and wines, and will be prohibited from engaging in marketing practices that would glamorize the sale or use of alcoholic beverages.”

A lack of advertising isn’t going to prevent a service member or a family member from binge drinking. The military has not provided any information on the effects of having liquor readily available at commissaries.

Hopefully this feasibility study will include information about alcohol abuse and not just profit potential.

The proposal to sell liquor at commissaries should not necessarily only focus on the people that have a problem with alcohol. There are many patrons of the commissary that are responsible drinkers.

Should they be given the opportunity to purchase liquor in the commissary?

Would shoppers prefer to keep liquor in places such as Class Six stores?

That’s what the feasibility study is really about. The results of the study are expected to be delivered by the end of next month.

What do you think? Should the commissary sell liquor along with beer and wine?

4 Military Phrases That Sound Strange When Military Spouses Say Them

By

by Amanda Marksmeier

Spend just a few minutes at any military base and you will discover an entirely new language full of odd phrases and acronyms. While terms like PCS, LES and BAH are imperative to a military spouse’s survival, there are some terms that sound quite strange coming from military spouses’ mouths.

4 Common Military Phrases That Sound Strange When Military Spouses Say Them

Hooah and Oorah

“Hooah” is widely used in the Army and Air Force as the standard answer to any question.

“Oorah!” is the Marines’ version.

The military thrives on discipline and obedience so no matter how the service member really wants to respond to “You have extra duty this weekend” they are expected to answer with an enthusiastic “Hooah” or “Oorah.”

We, as military spouses, should shy away from using these terms. Think about it. When your spouse comes home with deployment news, are you really excited about it? Would you reply, “That’s great news, I am so happy to hear it!”?

“Hooah” and “Oorah” doesn’t accurately communicate the authentic feelings of a military spouse.

Latrine and The Head

The military uses both terms to refer to the restroom. I don’t know about you, but when I hear someone say latrine it evokes images of dirty port-o-johns and dingy yellow titled rooms, with blinking fluorescent lights and urinals troughs.

The oasis you created in your home to resemble a quiet spa-like retreat with fluffy white mats, calming pale blue walls and a lavender Scentsy burning should never be referred to as a latrine. Isn’t powder room a much better description?

4 Military Phrases That Sound Strange When Military Spouses Say Them

What are some military terms you have heard military spouses use? Do you think it sounds strange when a military spouse says these words?

Buck Up

Buck up is used to inspire troops to embrace the suck and push through. When military spouses use this phrase, it is usually done in a sarcastic “Buck Up buttercup” kind of way.

Your spouse is gone for a week and missing your anniversary. Buck up buttercup! PCSing to a less than desirable place? Buck up buttercup!

I admit I have been guilty of this. I sometimes forget how difficult it can be as a new military spouse. It might be our seventh deployment or fifth PCS in four years, but it is someone’s first. Just because I have learned to accept the ups and downs of the military life, I must remember many spouses struggle with finding acceptance and balance in a difficult situation.

Instead of telling our fellow spouses to “buck up” we should be asking how they are and remind them to stay strong.

Deployments, Rotations and TDY

We have all heard a new spouse say, “My spouse is on deployment to Germany.” While we suppress an eye roll, we often forget we probably didn’t know the correct terms when we started out.

A deployment is defined as the movement of troops to a place or position for military action. Deployments are usually three, six or nine months long but can vary depending on assignment and branch. These movements take place in combat zones such as Iraq or Afghanistan.

Related: 5 ‘In Uniform’ Rules All Military Spouses Should Know

A rotation is when a military unit relives another unit in a non-combat environment such as Kuwait or Korea for a fixed amount of time anywhere from nine to twelve months.

A TDY (Temporary Duty Assignment) refers to a service member who is on assignment at a location other than his or her permanent duty station. TDYs can take place stateside or overseas and is usually for no more than 139 days.

Here are four military terms and phrases military spouses should be using.

Mandatory Fun

Mandatory fun refers to a company or unit sponsored event which service members are required to attend. These events can be organizational days which include football, fishing or another group activity, so there is fun to be had.

After attending our first unit organizational day, I adopted this term and use it every time we go out as a family. When given the choice to participate in a family outing, my kids usually say no. I have a teenager who has a very active social life and an eleven-year-old that we have to pry the game controller from his hands just to eat.

I no longer give them a choice; I give them a command.

You will come, you will have fun and you will enjoy time with your family. That’s an order!

Voluntold

This term gives the illusion that it is optional, however, we all know it really means you have been selected to volunteer for a task.

In a perfect world, my kids would volunteer to take out the trash or mow the lawn, but just like most of you, I don’t live in a perfect world. So, voluntold is how most things get done in our house.

Got Your Six

On the face of a clock, the number six is directly under or behind the twelve. In the military when someone says “Got your six,” it means “I’ve got your back.” In a combat situation “got your six” literally means “I’ve got you covered, I will look out for you and protect you.”

Related: 16 Money Terms Every MilSo Should Know

This is a great phrase to use as a military spouse. It is so important that we all have our fellow spouses’ backs.

Household 6

The 6 refers to the commander in charge, so Household 6 is a joking way to say commander in charge of the household. As military spouses most of us are responsible for the household.

We know where everything is (my husband still has no idea where anything is in our kitchen). We keep up with the kids’ schedules and pay bills in addition to having careers of our own, so of course we are the commanders of the household.

What are some common military terms you have heard military spouses use?

Amanda Marksmeier is an Army wife and mother of four. She works as an employment specialist assisting the military community in achieving their career goals. Amanda is also a contributing writer for a quarterly employment journal and has written for several military affiliated blogs.

5 Things to Consider When Making Your Duty Station Wish List

By

How many times have you had to make your duty station wish list? I’d say for us that it’s too many to count, but I did count. This is my 17th house. How did that happen and where did the time go?

5 Things to Consider When Making Your Duty Station Wish List

PCS orders are always a gamble or perhaps it’s luck of the draw.

Our time at this house has just come to an end as well. I’ve always been up for adventure and loved moving. We’ve been here for three years now and I keep thinking it has to be time to go. I haven’t lived anywhere this long since I was a kid.

Whether it’s your first time making a duty station wish list or your twentieth, talking about the different options is sure to have you on the edge of your seat. You can request a specific location but don’t get your heart set on it.

It’s always a gamble or perhaps it’s luck of the draw.

Even if you are told you have PCS orders to one location, it can always change.

We just made our wish list and for a brief moment we had verbal orders to our first choice. Then my husband got promoted. That’s fantastic of course, but we lost our PCS orders. There wasn’t an opening at that location for his new rank. We got our second choice. Technically we still have verbal orders so until I see it in print, I’m not signing on the dotted line for a new home.

Have you made a duty station wish list and gotten your first pick?

Making a wish list is not universal across the branches.

For the most part though, you provide a list of your top three choices for your next duty station and a detailer tries to match what’s available. Some people merely fill out a paper, while others “have an in” with the detailer. They have been known to work a bit of magic to get desirable orders. Not everyone gets that chance though. Sometimes service members are given their choices and told to pick. The higher the rank, the fewer choices there are for the most part. That can be good.

I have mixed feelings about our choice. Part of me wants to go on another adventure, but then I also love that this location has so much to offer for families. As we have grown older and had children, our priorities have changed and what we look for when making our wish list has too. What things do you consider when making your wish list?

Here are five things to consider when making your duty station wish list:

Do you want to go somewhere new or are you trying to get back to a place you’ve already been? What was it about the previous duty station that makes you want to go back or what is it about the new place that makes you want to move there?

What is the work schedule like for your spouse? Will you see more of them in one location or will they be traveling more? A few of my friends moved overseas, which is exciting, but their spouses are constantly flying back to the United States for training.

For my family, at this duty station my husband works over an hour away but deploys every six months for six months. We don’t see much of him here and that’s why we live near the city instead of in the middle of nowhere where the military base is.

Is your job transferable? If you work, will you be able to transfer with the company? Consider certifications that might need to be renewed in certain locations as well. Are there job opportunities otherwise or will you not work?

What is family life like in that area? If you have children, what are the schools like? Are there many activities for families? Will the weather be agreeable for getting out of the house to play and sightsee?

Will there be family support? This could be from the family readiness group or family support office. Will there be base events or are there enlisted or officers spouses clubs? Consider groups out in town as well.

Making friends and having a support group is key to enjoying your duty station.

There are many things to consider when making your duty station wish list. No matter where you’re sent, it’s up to you to make the most of it. If you go with a positive outlook, make friends, learn about the area and get to know the place, you will be more likely to have a great experience.

Make your duty station wish list, but be open to a new adventure. Hopefully you’ll get your first pick, but if you don’t, that’s ok too.

How do you decide where to take PCS orders? What’s on your duty station wish list?

10 Smart Habits Military Families Should Adopt This School Year

By

New year, new you, right? January is more than six months in the past, but the start of a new school year is the perfect opportunity to ditch your bad habits.

10 Smart Habits Military Families Should Adopt This School Year

Are you ready to start fresh?

10 Smart Habits to Save Money and Reduce Costs During the School Year

1. Repurpose What You Have

Be honest. How many mix-matched sets of curtains do you have in boxes?

Many military families collect several different types of curtains, towels, shelves and storage solutions over the years. When every house you live in is slightly, or majorly, different, it’s tempting to get new things.

Instead of shopping at the PX for new stuff, pull out what you already have.

Reusing or repurposing things you already own works for school supplies too. Try to use last year’s backpack and lunchbox. Try on clothes to see what still fits.

2. Ditch the Plastic Bags

I’ve got a huge stash of plastic brown commissary bags sitting under my sink. They’re great when I walk the dog or need to collect wet bathing suits. But I really don’t need quite so many.

Instead of collecting plastic shopping bags, make the switch to reusable grocery bags.

Pick up a few eco-friendly shopping bags at the commissary or PX. They’re usually located near the cashiers. Local grocery stores also sell fabric bags. You’ll love using your Sprouts bag in Okinawa!

If you forget your bags at home, reuse the plastic bags to pick up dog waste, pack lunches or tote wet bathing suits home from the pool.

You can also recycle plastic bags at the commissary. Look for the collection bins near the front of the store.

3. BYOBottle of Water

Buying bottled water can get pricey! From vending machines, it can run you over $2 a pop! If you’re drinking lots of water, the cost adds up fast.

Instead, bring your own bottle of water. Just fill it from the tap at home.

Tap water might not be for everyone. If you live on or near a military base, you may decide to drink bottled water and that’s understandable.

To improve your tap water, consider installing a filter or working with a water filtration company.

4. Plant a Flower Bed or Vegetable Garden

You’re only living there for a few years, so maintaining the lawn or landscaping might not seem like a priority. You should make it one!

Gardening can seriously help improve mental health! Next time you need to kick the deployment doldrums or beat the PCS blues, planting a few plants or pulling some weeds is worth a try.

Beyond boosting your mood, keeping up your yard can be required as part of your lease agreement. On-base residents are typically required to maintain the lawn and any plants on their property.

Some off-base homes might ask you to handle minor upkeep too. Being a good tenant can help you when you PCS, since prospective landlords may ask for contact information for your previous landlords.

5. Carpool to School (or Work)

Whether you live on or off base, you might be headed to the same school or work location as your neighbors. Before you all pull out of your driveways in separate cars, consider setting up a neighborhood carpool.

Active duty troops headed to similar areas on base might rotate driving duties. You could connect with other parents to figure out a good drop off and pick up schedule for school.

Carpooling helps everyone to save on gas, can build great relationships and reduces fossil fuel emissions.

6. Menu Planning for the Win

Every week, it seemed like I was left with food that wasn’t eaten. Whether it’s one sad apple in the drawer or a box of salad greens, something spoiled in the refrigerator.

Well, not anymore.

Or at least not as often.

Since we started menu planning, we’ve cut down our wasted food by a lot!

We’ve set up a general meal rotation that we run through every week. I tweak a few things weekly, based on what’s in season or on sale. Having a mostly standard set of meals makes it easy to shop since we eat the same things every week.

Another option is to plan out unique meals by the week or month. As you plan, write down ingredients for each meal. Try to plan several meals each week that use similar ingredients so that you can use leftovers. On example would be to roast chicken on Sunday, eat pot pie on Monday and have chicken fried rice on Wednesday.

When you’re making your shopping list, check for ingredients that are already in your pantry or fridge. Then just buy anything extra that you need, plus general weekly staple items like milk and eggs.

7. Compost

Since you’re already gardening, it’s a no-brainer to take your hobby to the next level! Composting vegetable scraps and other food waste can help to enrich your soil. That leads to better blossoms and yummier veggies.

Collect fruit and vegetable peels, egg shells, coffee grounds and other food waste in a compost bin. Transfer to a larger compost pile or system. Over time, those food scraps and waste will break down into super-rich soil. Spread your enriched dirt over your garden beds and watch your plants thrive!

8. Recycle, Don’t Trash

Living in Japan and traveling overseas has been eye-opening in terms of what can be recycled and what must be trashed.

There are lots of options for recycling items. It just takes a little effort to break down cardboard boxes and rinse cans or bottles.

As you cook and eat, be mindful of food packaging and what you do with empty containers. Most glass, metal, paper, cardboard and plastic can and should be recycled.

Check the recycling policies where you live for specific rules about removing caps or rinsing containers.

9. Pick Up Together

Instead of posting an angry rant in the neighborhood Facebook page, grab a trash bag and pick up a little bit of trash. Better yet, set up recurring neighborhood clean-ups!

You’ll connect with your neighbors in new and different ways. Plus, your community will look so much better without litter or pet waste.

10. Purge the Items You Haven’t Used

So those curtains…if you haven’t used them in a few moves, it might be time to give up the ghost. Instead of dragging them to yet another duty station, where you won’t unpack them again, donate or sell them.

However you do it, get rid of the stuff you haven’t used in a while. If you can’t or don’t use it, it’s time to lose it!

What habits do you want to change this school year?

Deployment Is a Great Time for a Healthy Change

By

by Amanda Marksmeier, Guest Contributor

No one wants to get the news a loved one is deploying. While it might be tempting to press the pause button on your life, instead press the reset button.

Deployments are the perfect excuse to reset and refocus on your health.

Everyone wants to know how to make deployment go by quickly. Our instinct is to rush through unpleasant times and circumstances. Instead of looking at a deployment as something to blitz through, use deployments as a time to set and achieve personal goals.

Deployment Is a Great Time for a Healthy Change

Whether it is incorporating meatless Mondays or taking a paddleboard yoga class I thoughtfully use deployments as a way to participate in activities which will improve my life, mind and body.

Goals Keep You Focused and Achievement Keeps You Going

I will be the first to admit, setting goals can be challenging.

If your goals are too low, you will get bored.

If they are too high, you’ll get discouraged.

What do you want to accomplish while your spouse is away? Want to form better eating habits, find balance or start exercising?

Whatever you choose, commitment to it. Decide what you need to do to achieve your goals and start preparing prior to deployment. Schedule time in your calendar to focus on your goals.

Your health is just as important as FRG coffees.

Once you have established your goals, write them down. Put them in plain sight where you will see them daily. Hang your goals on your refrigerator or bathroom mirror. They will serve as a constant reminder and motivate you to keep going.

Set Realistic Goals

Saying “I want to lose 50 pounds in a month” is not only unrealistic, it is unhealthy. If your deployment goal is to lose weight talk with your health care provider and decide what is a reasonably goal.

Losing weight is like a marathon. Pace yourself and take it one day at a time.

Don’t Stay Busy, Stay Active

The thought of working out can be intimidating and exhausting, particularly if you haven’t done it in a long time. Don’t overthink it. Any movement is a step in the right direction.

If you don’t enjoy running, don’t sign up for a marathon. You’ll hate preparing for it and it will be so much easier to quit.

Find something you enjoy and start moving.

Related: How Does Tricare Work When You ‘Move Home’ for the Deployment?

Love dancing? Try a Zumba class. You can show off your mad dance skills while burning a ton of calories.

Searching for balance? Yoga can help you breathe and stretch until you find inner peace.

Frustrated over the deployment? Boxing classes are a great way to get cardio in and frustrations out.

Whatever you choose to do mark it on your calendar, invite friends to join you and get moving.

You Are Not Alone

Human beings are not meant to go through life alone. We survive and thrive in community settings.

Build a community with people who share similar interests and goals. Befriend your neighbors, parents at your child’s school or military spouses in your unit.

You will need these friendships to get through this deployment.

Be Healthy Together

Once you have established your community start scheduling healthy meals and workout dates. Find buddies who will be motivating and keep you accountable.

When we were stationed in Georgia a neighbor and dear friend used to come get me for daily walks. She didn’t give me the opportunity to say no.

Another dear friend in Tennessee would sign us up for crazy exercise classes.

I love both these women because they kept me motivated and made me accountable. I needed to be strong-armed into exercising. My friends knew this and complied.

It doesn’t matter whether you are the one motivating or the one that needs motivation, the important thing is to find accountability partners who will accomplish deployment goals with you.

Deployments can be lonely and draining especially if you only view it as a time away from your spouse. Don’t dwell on the separation.

Think of deployments as a time to focus on yourself and your goals.

If you change your focus it will change your outlook on the situation. When my husband drops the deployment news I get a bit excited thinking about the things I want to achieve while he is gone.

Whether it is incorporating meatless Mondays or taking a paddleboard yoga class I thoughtfully use this time to do activities which will improve my life, mind and body.

How will you use the next deployment to make healthy lifestyle changes?

Amanda Marksmeier is an Army wife and mother of four. She works as an employment specialist assisting the military community in achieving their career goals. Amanda is also a contributing writer for a quarterly employment journal and has written for several military affiliated blogs.

Should I Feed or Tip Our Movers?

By

It’s PCS season and once again military spouses are asking the big question, should I tip or feed the movers?

Should I Feed or Tip My Movers During a PCS?

Do you provide food for your movers? What kind of food do you give them?

There is a wide difference in opinion here. Some people always tip, others tip based on performance and for some, the thought of tipping has never crossed their mind.

The same goes for feeding the people that pack up all your precious belongings. Many military families choose to feed the moving crews in some way but there are still people that do not.

There are people that both tip and feed the movers and some that choose to only do one of those things.

There are also people who do neither.

Everyone has a strong opinion on the matter as well.

What Food Should I Feed My Packers or Movers When We PCS?

If you choose to provide food for the moving team, what do you feed them?

Many military spouses responded to this question saying that they buy pizza. I have bought pizza many times. My parents bought the movers pizza when I was growing up as an Army brat so that was the norm, or so I thought.

Also, in the early stages of military life, families don’t tend to have much money to spare on individual meals for a large group of people. We didn’t.

After a multitude of moves, my perspective, as well as wallet, has changed.

Now I give the movers a few options for lunch and then my husband goes to pick it up. I also always make sure to have cold water in the fridge for everyone.

Who wants to eat pizza every day? Could you imagine spending hours packing up things and getting pizza constantly?

Some military spouses say that they provide breakfast or lunch and some provide both. Most said they have water for them and offer pizza, subs, Chick-fil-A or KFC.

A few said they offer some of the beverages they aren’t moving with to the movers. One military spouse said this:

 “My husband once gave them bottles of booze. They loved him for it. I was mortified.”

How Much Should I Tip Our Packers During a PCS?

I haven’t tipped our packers during a PCS. Actually, I hadn’t thought about it until someone recently brought it up.

One military spouse had a good point. She said, “I tip the groomer and nail salon techs for goodness’ sakes.” If she’s going to tip for those services, it makes sense to tip the people who take care of her precious belongings.

When asked if they tip, a number of women said that they were told by the TMO, Traffic Management Office, that tipping was not allowed. Not all moving companies follow this however. Even if that is their policy, some movers will still take the cash tip.

In the civilian world, tipping is part of proper etiquette. The average tip is $20 per mover. That could really add up for military moves if you have separate people that pack your belongings up and then unpack at your destination.

I have had as many as eight people packing up our home. There are a lot of costs involved in moving and an additional $160 for the packers’ tips is not necessarily something I would want to spend my money on. That cost really adds up if you have to tip just as much when the next group unpacks at your new duty station.

Related: 5 Steps You Can Take Today to Make Your PCS Go Smoothly This Summer

Everyone has a different perspective however.

Some people only tip if they notice that the movers are particularly friendly or pack things how they want them to be packed. If you choose to tip, make sure you give the money to each mover personally. Don’t just give it to the leader of the packing crew. They might not actually divvy up the money. Also, handing out tips to each person shows that you recognize their individual effort.

Hopefully, the movers are grateful no matter if you provide a meal or a tip them.

If you are going to buy a meal, give them some options and let them choose. They will likely appreciate having something other than pizza.

If you decide to tip, you choose how much to give them. While $20 per person is the norm in the civilian world, it isn’t necessarily the same for military moves.

Share your PCS tips with us. Do you provide food for your movers? What kind of food do you give them?

Our Guide to Sending Care Packages to Your Service Member

By

by Amanda Marksmeier, Guest Contributor

Whether you are shipping your first care package or your last it can be difficult to know what to include and what to leave out.

Items such as firearms, explosives and radioactive materials should not be included, but did you know many foreign countries ban the shipping and receiving of playing cards, used clothes and saccharine?

Our Guide to Sending Care Packages to Your Service Member

Themed care packages are all the rage. Not feeling creative? No problem, search Pinterest for military care package ideas.

Your Don’t Pack It Guide for Deployment Care Packages

Our service members deploy to countries with strict religious beliefs and rules. If you are sending care packages to countries such as Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria or any other predominately Muslim country do not pack pork products. Many people in these regions follow diets which prohibit foods made from pigs, so that means no bacon bits.

While we are on the subject of religion, anti-Muslim books, articles, and movies are strictly forbidden so don’t send them. Also, anything considered lewd or pornographic should not be included. It is important to be respectful of others’ customs and beliefs.

Cash and high-valued items should be left at home. Packages can “disappear,” be damaged or simply lost in the mail.

Pro-tip: if you can’t afford to lose it, don’t pack it!

This goes for items that hold sentimental value as well. While you may be tempted to send family heirlooms don’t, these items can’t be replaced if lost or damaged.

What You Should Send in Deployment Care Packages

Now comes the fun part, what you can include in a care package.

Non-perishable food is the No. 1 requested item. Think canned tuna, instant meals, jerky, ramen, I could go on, but you get the idea. In many cases, soldiers miss meals due to missions or the inability to make it to the DFAC. Your service member will be grateful to have a meal from home after a long day.

Care packages are a perfect excuse to print all those pictures saved in your digital cloud. Service members can hang photos in their bunk, tape them to vehicles or keep them in the pockets of their uniforms.

It’s comforting to have photos of friends and family near you on deployment.

Fragrant soaps and washes should be packed separately in plastic bags. I once sent my husband a box of soaps (not in plastic bags) packed with candies. He ended up with candies that tasted like soap!

More Care Packages Tips

Mailing packages is expensive! The U.S. Post Office offers free flat rate boxes to help with the costs. Care packages in flat rate boxes can be sent to APO/FPO/DPO at domestic shipping rates.

Save a trip to the post office by ordering your shipping supplies for free through the USPS website. Schedule a pick-up, pay for shipping and complete the customs forms all online at https://www.usps.com/ship/apo-fpo-dpo.htm.

Oh, those darn customs forms! Don’t be afraid. Custom forms aren’t as scary as they appear. All you need is your service member’s address, the list of items and an estimated value of each item in the care package.

The Click-N-Ship option on the USPS website walks through the steps to complete customs forms. Custom forms need to be completed for each package you send.

Related: Tips on Sending a Care Package to a Military Dog

Themed care packages are all the rage. Not feeling creative? No problem, borrow someone else’s ideas. Carefully crafted boxes are posted all over social media. Visit military spouse Facebook pages to ask for care package ideas. Also search Pinterest for military care packages. Have fun, be creative and think “inside” the box.

Books, movies and magazines make wonderful additions to care packages. Deployed service members work long hours in harsh conditions so when there is downtime entertainment is desperately needed.

I am sure everyone remembers the “Frozen” videos with service members belting out “Let it Go.” You know they watched the movie a dozen times to learn the song. Maybe we’ll be blessed with “This is Me” sing-a-longs in the future.

Add extra items so your service member can share with his or her battle buddies. Remember not everyone has someone to send them care packages.

The most important part of a care package is the “care” that is included. Packages remind the men and woman serving they have not been forgotten.

What questions do you have about sending care packages?

Amanda Marksmeier is an Army wife and mother of four. She works as an employment specialist assisting the military community in achieving their career goals. Amanda is also a contributing writer for a quarterly employment journal and has written for several military affiliated blogs.

Pet Sitting Options for Military Families

By

Vacations are meant to be relaxing, but if you’re worried about your furry family member back home it can be anything but stress-free. Finding reliable pet pitting options can be challenging for military families. We move often and need to start from scratch building our pet care support teams.

3 Pet Sitting Options for Military Families to Consider for Their Summer Vacations

Whether you’re headed away for a long weekend or a few weeks to visit your parents in Montana, here are three pet sitting options for you to think about no matter where you are stationed with the military.

Pet Sitting Options for Military Families

Do your due diligence before hiring a pet sitter or kennel. It’s important that you like and trust the folks who will be caring for your dog or cat while you are away.

Pet Boarding Facilities

Some call them kennels (we’ll use this name) or pet hotels, but generally, these are places where multiple animals are being cared for at the same time.

Kennels are businesses that are typically owned and/or operated by individuals that have a background in pet care. They often offer complimentary services, like grooming, training or doggie daycare too. Some are operated by a veterinary clinic.

Each animal will have their own separate living area or kennel, where they will spend their days and nights. Many kennels include daily exercise in their basic package or offer extra daycare type interaction for an additional cost.

Kennels often offer trial daycare in order to ensure their facility is a good fit for your pet. They also require current vet records with evidence of standard vaccinations.

Pros:

  • Kennels are licensed businesses and have to follow laws regarding cleanliness or licensing for pet care services.
  • Your animal will get professional level care in a dedicated facility.
  • Your pet has the option for social interaction with other animals or with humans.
  • You can add on other services during your pet’s stay.
  • Staff is trained on basic animal care and health issues.

Cons:

  • There will be multiple pets in the kennel at once.
  • More than one species of animal might be boarded.
  • You will not be able to predict how your pet interacts with the other animals during the exercise or socializing portions of the day.
  • Your animal will be in a kennel, which might be different than their traditional home environment.
  • There may be a wait time.
  • Fees are non-negotiable and might add up quickly depending on your pet’s needs.

Private Pet Sitters

Another option is to work with a private individual pet sitter. This service is typically operated out of a person’s home and may or may not be licensed.

Pet sitting service platforms, like Rover, help connect pet sitters with clients. They off protections and guarantees to both their customers and their service providers.

Another option is to find an individual on your own, through social media or advertisements. You might even connect in-person by using a friend or neighbor!

Private pet sitters typically care for the pet in their home. Your pet is treated as a member of their family. Often pet sitters will watch one pet at a time or only the pets from one family at a time. If they do have their own animals, or might be watching another pet, private pet sitters could offer to arrange an initial meet-up to make sure everyone gets along.

Pros:

  • Your pet(s) might be the only one at the home.
  • Your pet will be treated as a member of the family and be in a home environment.
  • Rates are often flexible, but are usually all-inclusive (treats, walks, socialization, etc.)
  • You know exactly who will be caring for your pet.

Cons:

  • Pet sitters might not have extensive training or experience in pet care. They might simply like pets!
  • Private pet sitters may or may not be officially licensed to operate this business in this location.
  •  No other services (grooming, training) will be offered.
  • The pet sitter may or may not have training for pet health emergencies.

Pet + House Sitting

Some pets do best in their own homes. Having someone come directly to your pet can be a great option for pets that need minimal care, like fish, independent pets, like cats or reptiles, or elderly animals.

When you have a pet sitter come directly to your home, they might also water your plants, take in the mail and make your home look “lived in.”

There are different options for this type of in-home service.

  • Full care: someone stays in your home the entire time you’re away.
  • Occasional care: someone drops by your home several times throughout the day to provide walks, playtime, food and water.
  • Dog walking: someone comes at pre-arranged specific times to take your dog for a walk or to a dog park; this is not a good option for multi-day trips, but might work for a long day trip.

Pros: 

  • Your pet is in a familiar setting with all their creature comforts.
  • Your home has human activity, which could be a deterrent for burglars.
  • Your pet has regular human interaction and exercise on their typical schedule.

Cons:

  • You need to provide a key to the pet sitter.
  • The sitter has access to your home and possessions.

How to Select Your Pet Sitting Option

Before you make a final decision, it is good to explore all options to find the best fit for your pet, your budget and your own personality.

As you consider your options, it’s important that you ask questions pertaining to your pet and situation.

Consider asking all pet sitters and kennels:

  • What is your experience with caring for pets? Do you have references?
  • How will my pet interact with other animals?
  • How often will my pet go for walks/be let out of his kennel?
  • What is your pet security plan? Does your yard/facility have a fence? Will you let my pet off-leash?
  • What will my pet’s day be like when she stays with you?
  • What records and health certificates does my pet need in order to work with you?

For private pet sitters, consider asking:

  • How many other pets will be in your home during my pet’s stay?
  • Where will my pet be sleeping?
  • Will you be taking my pet off your property? If so, could you please explain when and where?

For in-home sitters, you need to ask:

  • What measures are in place to protect my possessions and security?
  • Do you/your employees have current background checks that I can review?

No matter what, do your due diligence before finalizing a pet sitter or kennel. It’s important that you like and trust the folks who will be caring for your dog or cat while you are away.

Who takes care of your pet when you go on vacation?