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How to Talk with Your Military Kid’s Teacher About a Deployment

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During deployments and long separations, as parents, we take on a lot more responsibility and stress. The same is true for our kids.

Our worries for our spouse’s safety are shared by our children. They are also taking on more responsibility at home. Your children are missing their parent and learning to navigate a one-parent household. On top of all of that, they are going to school 5 days a week and working extremely hard.

These stressors cause different reactions. For children, they could experience increased anxiety or depression. Your child may begin acting out, exhibiting aggression and anger or even retreating from socializing with friends. Grades could take a dip or a dive. Or your child might become obsessed with making everything perfect, from grades to appearance to emotions.

Often our children’s teachers are the first to notice these changes in behavior and academic achievements.

That’s why it’s super important to keep your school and teachers in the loop as your family preps for deployment. However, deployments and even long TAD/TDY assignments come with risks and need-to-know information.

How to Talk to Your Military Kid's Teacher About a Deployment

Teachers can be your biggest ally during deployment.

How to Talk with Your Military Child’s Teacher About a Deployment Without Violating OPSEC/PERSEC

Be Honest

At least as honest as you can be. You should share the basics:

  • The general deployment window, but not a specific date. Say: “My spouse will be deploying within the next 2 months.”
  • The general deployment length. Say: “We expect she will be gone for 6 to 9 months.”
  • Your plans for pre-deployment. Say: “We will be taking a trip before my spouse leaves. My children will miss about a week of school. Please let me know how they can best make up the work they will miss.”
  • The general homecoming window, as it approaches. Say: “We expect that he will return in a month.”
  • More homecoming details, as they are released and cleared by your unit’s public affairs office. Say: “We think she might be home in March.”
  • Your plans for the period right after the homecoming. Say: “I will email you the day before our scheduled homecoming. I will be keeping our children home for a day or so to spend time as a family. Please let me know how they can complete any work they might miss.”

It’s super important that you not share exact locations, troop movements or departure/return dates. The fewer people who know these details, the better. Share what you must, when you must, in order to make sure your child’s teacher and school are on the same page.

Include Others as Needed

It’s also important to include administration and school counselors, psychologists or social workers. You can share even less information to these people. Generally, they will only get involved if there is a major issue or concern. Your child might see a school mental health counselor, psychologist or social worker if there is a deployment support group at their school.

If you need to share, you should:

  • Give the basics. Say: “My spouse is currently away on assignment for several months.”
  • Address the situation at hand. Say: “I wonder if my spouse’s absence might be one of the causes behind (concern). I would like to explore this further and find ways to support my child as a team.”

Request Discretion

When you share your family’s deployment with school faculty and staff, you also need to include a request for confidentiality. Even if your spouse is in a “safe” area, your family is still down a person and open to additional concerns at home. It’s very easy to let information slip out about troop movements, return dates, ship names and families that are missing an adult.

Ask your teacher, school administrators and mental health staff to keep all deployment information strictly confidential. Explain:

“My spouse will be away from home. This is need-to-know information that I am sharing with you so that we can work together to help my child through this challenging time.”

Occasionally, sharing information with other teachers can help your child’s teacher to find new solutions to challenges. Request:

“If you feel like asking another staff member for advice or solutions is necessary, I would ask that you let me know before you share information. If you can make such requests without sharing my child’s identity or other specific details, that would be great. If you do need to share personal information, I would like to be included in the email chain or be told what will be shared.”

Generally, help teachers and others to understand that what you are sharing is not for public discussion or knowledge. It is need-to-know only.

Teachers can be your biggest ally during deployment. Make sure to build your team beforehand. How do you include your teacher on your deployment success team? Share your tips in the comments.

The Hardest Part of Being a Military Spouse

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In September, I will have been a proud Army wife for 19 years.

I’ve had it easier than some as I grew up in a military family, watched both of my parents put on a uniform on a daily basis until they retired my senior year of high school. I traveled abroad and across this country. I embraced the good and then stuck alongside my spouse. Along the way, we’ve raised 3 amazing kids and the official countdown to retirement has begun. The light at the end of that particular tunnel is just under 2 years away.

As I look back over my time as a military spouse, there is much to celebrate, much to be proud of and only a handful of regrets. Surprisingly, the hardest part of this entire journey has only recently come to light.

Hubby and I sat at the kitchen table, him with a cup of coffee, me drafting the weekly shopping list. The conversation turned to the future, as it often does, and I asked him what he wanted to with his life after he retired from the Army. As the words left my lips, a startling reality took root in my gut.

What was I going to do after he retired? Who was I if not an active-duty Army wife?

Somewhere in the midst of all the PCS orders and moving boxes, at one of the countless unit functions or while watching his boots go from black to brown, I had pinned a shiny, golden “exemplary military spouse” badge to my chest and let it define who I was and how I lived my life.

The Hardest Part of Being a Military Spouse

My standard answer to “tell us about yourself,” was always “Proud Army wife and mother of 3.” But is that really all I am?

He took a sip of his coffee and rattled off his new career wish list, the beginning stages of a plan of attack for his transition forming as he spoke. I sat trying to stay calm and not let on that I was staring straight into the face of an honest-to-God identity crisis.

Who was I going to be after the Army? Who was I now?

How many jobs had I passed up or quit because the “needs of the Army” meant the needs of our family became my sole responsibility?

How many times had the powers-that-be seemed to foresee pending natural disasters or medical emergencies and sent my spouse off into the world to do his duty, while leaving me to pick up the pieces?

How many times had I swallowed my own fears and wants so as not to be a burden to my service member as he carried the weight and responsibility of leadership on his shoulders?

How many times had I polished that “exemplary military spouse” badge and told myself that sacrifice was a a requirement? That duty to country trumped all other needs? Would I be able to handle a change of priorities?

The Army has given me a community, a way of life, but it also repeatedly put me at a crossroads between living my own dreams and being the support system my service member needed while he chased his.

It has provided the financial stability that has allowed me to start a business, complete a degree and buy a home. But it has also forced me to put any and all of those things on the back burner when duty calls.

Up until that moment, the standard answer to “tell us about yourself,” was always

“Proud Army wife and mother of 3.”

But is that really all I am?  When the day arrives that I am no longer married to the military, how will I lead off?

True to form, I kept my concerns about my future to myself and finished up the shopping list. As we headed to the commissary it occurred to me that of all of the challenges I had faced as a military spouse, the hardest part, it would seem, was developing a sense of self that would sustain me for the majority of life that would come after the Army.

I am still coming to terms with the idea that life will go on, even if we don’t hear revelry and retreat. Even if there are no longer combat boots in the foyer. Even if I have to start checking the box, “retiree spouse.” I am, however, incredibly thankful for the life I’ve had as a military spouse. The lessons learned will make my journey of self-discovery easier. Of that, I’m certain.

Maybe the hardest part of this whole thing hasn’t been the separations. Maybe it hasn’t been the worry about where he is or when he’ll be home. Maybe it hasn’t even been the struggle to figure out who I am in the shadow of his service.

Maybe the hardest part of being a military spouse will be leaving it behind.

What do you think is the hardest part of being a military spouse? We would love to hear your story. Share it in the comments section.

12 Great Ideas for Parent-Child Date Night

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Life gets busy. Stopping every so often to connect with your family and nurture relationships is vital to building a strong family unit.

While you might already take the time to bond with your spouse, it’s also important to connect with your children. Having one-on-one time can help you to talk about the tough stuff or create sweet memories. Use our ideas as a starting point for great parent-child date nights.

12 Great Ideas for Parent-Child Date Night

Dinner and a Movie

A sweet spin on a classic. Dinner and a movie is a sure-fire winner. Instead of going to a fancy place with white tablecloths, opt for a kid-friendly spot. A local diner can make good meals fast and the menu is usually pretty easy. Next, head to the theater to take in a new movie. If there isn’t anything playing, pick something to stream or rewatch a favorite movie at home.

Take a Hike

Getting outside will accomplish 2 goals. First, you’ll get some exercise and fresh air. Second, you’ll have your child all to yourself in the wilderness. Find a kid-friendly hiking trail near you and go. For added fun, pack a picnic with sparkling grape juice or seltzer water.

12 Great Ideas for Parent-Child Date Night

What ideas do you have for a parent-child date night?

Strike!

Bring your best game at the bowling alley! Most military bases have bowling lanes that offer shoe rentals and games at discount prices. Since bowling alleys usually have a snack bar, indulge in hot dogs, nachos and candy. You could make this a regular parent/child date and track who wins the most. There are also tons of bowling leagues to join.

Peanuts and Cracker Jacks

If bowling isn’t your thing, catch a few strikes at the baseball diamond. Whether you are going to a major league game or catching your local college team, baseball games are a great time to connect with a sports-loving kid. Buy some popcorn, cotton candy and, yes, Cracker Jacks to make the day extra special.

This type of parent/child date could be repeated for basketball, soccer, football and other spectator sports.

I Scream for Ice Cream

Parent-child dates don’t have to be expensive or over-the-top. Something as simple as grabbing a few scoops of ice cream together can be wonderful. You could head to your local favorite and order the usual. Or find another spot with rave reviews and take a short road trip.

Paint Night

While there are definitely many adult versions of this, some companies also offer a more family-friendly version. If not, this might be something to suggest to your PTO as a fundraiser. Laugh and be silly with your child as you both create beautiful works of art!

Take a Class Together

Wherever you are, there are sure to be lots of places that offer specialty classes. Many specialty stores also offer classes to customers. Find something that you and your child are both passionate about and enroll today. You’ll be learning a new skill and have regularly scheduled time together.

Play Hooky

A great way to build a bond, especially with older children, is to play hooky together. Call into work and pick up your child early. Then go out to lunch, grab a coffee and swing through a few stores. It will feel like you’re breaking the rules together and give you great one-on-one time when the crowds at the mall are smaller.

Beach Day

Yes, it can be fun to bring the whole family to the beach. It feels even more special when you go alone with your child. For starters, there will be less stuff to trek to the sand. Second, relaxing on the beach together or splashing in the waves can help you to start conversations and connect.

Roller Coasters

This is a more extravagant date but is super fun if you live near a theme park or have a fair in town. Take your child out for the day, or night, to ride a few thrilling rides together. Just remember to eat the tasty theme park treats after you take on the roller coasters.

Cultural Immersion

For the child that loves art, theater and music a parent-child cultural date might be the way to go. Pick a museum, concert or play to attend together. After, talk about your favorite moments or artworks over lunch.

All About Me

For this parent-child date, let your child take the reins. Let your child plan all or part of a day together. From where and what you eat to the activities, your child will be calling the shots. This is a great way to figure out what makes him or her tick.

An Important Parent-Child Date Tip

Make sure that you are creating dates based on your child and his or her interests. Taking an art-obsessed child to a baseball game might not go over too well.

It’s also important to remember to consider your other children. Arrange your dates so that your spouse is with your other children. Be sure to spread the solo time around evenly as well.

What ideas do you have for a parent-child date night? Share them in the comments!

Why a PCS Stinks for Military Kids and Tips to Make It Better

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While supporting a parent’s military career, military children are asked to leave behind the familiar and embark on the unknown. The school they finally learned their way around, the best friends they’ve made and even the perfect bedroom must be given up when the PCS orders are cut.

Managing that transition as parent can be especially hard when you are worried about household goods and travel plans.

But here is an easy-to-remember acronym to help you mitigate any of the fears and angst your kids might have about PCSing: Frame, Acknowledge, Include, Re-engage and Support.

Why PCSing Stinks for Military Kids and Tips to Make It Better

Try these 5 tips to smooth the PCS transition for your military child.

Frame the PCS in a Positive Light

Kids are so quick to pick up on our moods and fears, so even though you might be freaking out about moving to someplace you’ve never heard of, try to frame the idea of moving in a positive way.

Try to think of moving as your next great family adventure.

Talk about how moving helps your family support their service member parent and why their service is so important. Emphasize the positive possibilities like making new friends, seeing different parts of the country or world, trying new foods, and remind them that you get to do it all as a family.

Acknowledge Your Child’s Feelings

A certain amount of resistance and fear about a move is to be expected and completely natural. Make sure you acknowledge any fears your children might have about moving and discuss ways to overcome those fears.

It’s OK to share that you are a little nervous about the move yourself, but don’t stew in those feelings. Take steps to help keep your frame of mind positive.

Include Your Children in the Planning Process

Try to include your kids in the planning stages, if they are old enough. Things like having them help with your pre-packing garage sale or planning the route you will be taking as you travel between duty stations can help kids feel like they have a role in your move.

If you can, incorporate some leave time during your transition and include some quality family time as part of your relocation process. A weeklong cross-country road trip means you’ll have the opportunity to stop and see things you’ve never seen before and may never see again. Create memories that will give your family something to laugh, cry or smile about. You don’t have to spend a ton of money, there are all kinds of amazing sites across the country (and abroad) that just require your time and appreciation. A little online research can help you find those kind of places.

And while you’re surfing the web, spend some time learning about your new duty station and then daydream together about things you’d like to do or see when you arrive.

Re-Engage in Normal ASAP

This part takes a little bit of planning on your part, but it’s another way to include your kids before the move. If you’ve got a soccer player or dancer or artist-in-the-making, find at least one activity you know they will enjoy and try to get them involved right away. It will give them something to look forward to and create a sense of the familiar in a new place.

Also, when it comes to unpacking, consider setting up your children’s rooms first. The sooner you can get back into your family routines, the better.

Before you leave your old duty station, be sure you get good contact information – cell phone numbers, emails and mailing addresses for friends you are leaving behind. A regular letter or Skype session is a great way to stay connected and it can really help kids who are moving (and those who are left behind) feel a little less isolated.

Support Your Child Through This Transition

No matter how many plans we make, there will always be that bump in the road we can’t possibly prepare for. Make a point to really talk to your kids about their feelings and listen to their concerns during your transition and after you arrive at your duty station (and for months afterward!).

Change is hard. Remind them that their feelings are normal. Then make sure you talk about things you can do as a family to help make the transition a little easier.

Have a conversation with your military child about moving. Ask them: What aspects of the PCS do you think stink? How can I make moving better for you?

6 Tips for Talking to Your Kids About Rehoming Your Pet

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Even with the best of intentions and a lot of effort, it can happen. Sometimes you really do need to rehome your beloved pets.

6 Tips for Talking to Your Kids About Rehoming Your Pet

There are so many life changes and situations that we cannot anticipate. Sometimes, despite our best efforts, it is better for everyone to find a different home for Fido or Fluffy.

After you have made this tough decision, it’s time to explain it all to your children. This can be even harder, especially since they adore your pet even more than you do.

Use these 6 tips for talking to your kids about rehoming your pet.

1. Be Honest

Be upfront about why you need to rehome your dog, cat or other creature. Children can tell when you are hiding something or not telling the truth. It’s better to be honest now, and answer all of their questions, rather than play catch-up later to cover your tracks.

So tell them:

  • if a family member has or has developed an allergy
  • if the cost of pet care was just too much
  • if the cost of moving with the pet is too high
  • if your housing situation doesn’t allow a pet
  • if your house isn’t the best place for your pet (no yard or too small)
  • if life changes (like a new baby, illness or injury) have changed the pet situation
  • if you just don’t have time to devote to your pet
  • if the pet is aggressive with the kids or baby
  • if the pet is too old or ill to move with your family
  • if you are moving overseas and your pet can’t make the trip for any reason

There are so many life changes and situations that we cannot anticipate. Sometimes, despite our best efforts, it is better for everyone to find a different home for Fido or Fluffy.

2. Don’t Blame Your Kids

Kids are kids. They are still learning how to care for themselves. It’s frankly a miracle if they remember to both flush the toilet and wash their hands. Kids, no matter what age, should not be held responsible for all of the pet care.

When you tell them that your pup or kitty is going to a new home, don’t blame the kids.

Instead, explain that as a family, things have changed or happened. As a family, you are no longer able to care for the pet the way it deserves.

3. Do Your Research

Before you even tell the kids, you need to do some research. Yes, there are animal shelters in every community in the United States and abroad. However, many of these shelters are considered “high kill.” In other words, animals surrendered to these places have a ticking clock: either be adopted by a certain date or be euthanized.

If possible, try to find another option like a compassionate animal shelter or another family to adopt your pet. There are many groups online that can help direct you toward loving foster homes, pet adoption agencies or rehoming services.

4. Keep the Kids Involved

If you opt to find another family yourself, keep the kids involved in the search process. Remember, this is a beloved member of your family. You don’t want to give your dog or cat to just anyone!

Let them help make the ads or posters to show off your beautiful pet. Have your kids help you to weed through the people who want your pet. If it’s safe, bring them with you for meet-ups with the potential new owners.

Ask your pet’s new family if they might keep you updated with pictures and stories. Your child will want to know that their pet is still loved!

5. Don’t Make Any Promises

It is so tempting to make promises when you are talking to your kids about rehoming your pet. This is especially true if your current military life circumstances are forcing your hand.

You might be tempted to say:

  • “We’ll get a new pet at our next duty station.”
  • “When the baby is bigger, we can get another pet.”
  • “When we get a house with a yard, we can get a new dog.”
  • “If we get a bigger house, we can get another pet.”
  • “Let’s get a cat/reptile/fish tank instead.”

Before you even sit down with your kids, be really honest with yourself. Why do you need to rehome your pet right now? Really consider these reasons and then don’t promise anything.

6. Let Them Be Sad

Remember, this isn’t just any pet. This is THEIR pet, their best friend and snuggle buddy. He or she will be leaving the family forever and it is sad.

Your kids might have ideas about how to keep your pet. Listen to them. They might have a creative solution that you didn’t consider.

Take time to grieve together as a family. Do some things together to help remember your beloved pet. Take pictures together, go for favorite walks or give special treats.

Talk about your pet after it is in the new home. If the new owners have agreed, let your kids write cards or letters to your pet or the adoptive family.

What tips would you offer to military families who need to rehome their pets? Tell us in the comments.

 

8 Free or Discounted Summer Camps for Military Kids

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Ahhhhhhh, summer! A time to kick back, relax and go insane when your children say, for the millionth time:

“I’m bored.”

Instead of listening to them complain about their free time, send your military kids to camp this summer. And do it on the cheap at these free or discounted summer camps.

8 Free or Discounted Summer Camps for Military Kids

Has your child attended any of these camps for military kids?

8 Free or Discounted Summer Camps for Military Kids

Operation Purple Camp

These are special camps just for military kids. They are held in a variety of locations around the country throughout the summer. Different camps run at different times and spots go quickly.

If you want to get your child into an Operation Purple Camp this summer, the time to act is now! Be sure to read the FAQs about who is eligible and the application process. While applicants are accepted mostly on a first-come, first-served basis, priority goes to kids with a parent deployed within the last year.

Armed Services YMCA

The Armed Services YMCA is a great resource for military families year-round, but it’s especially awesome in the summer. Through Operation Outdoors, the Armed Services YMCA helps to get military children enrolled in summer camps across the country.

To find out more about camp opportunities near you, contact your local ASYMCA branch.

American Wanderer Summer Camp

This camp is a super deluxe all-inclusive way to explore National Parks across the United States. Campers ages 11-17 can travel in “cabins on wheel” to different sites throughout each one-week session.

Military discounts and scholarships are available.

Camp Corral

This is a summer camp that is open to all military children, with priority given to the kids of wounded, injured, ill or fallen service members. With locations from California to Florida, Camp Corral can reach a great number of military children and families. Spots are limited, so be sure to register your child early.

Military Teen Adventure Camps

For teens ages 14-18, the typical summer camp experience might start to get old. That’s where these adventure camps come into play. With locations in several states around the country, military children can enjoy exciting new experiences with their peers.

These camps aren’t limited to the summer either. There are camping opportunities throughout the year! Find out more about the camps by location or date.

Camp Yellow Ribbon

Military children go through a lot. This Wisconsin camp, hosted by Easter Seals, aims to help ease that burden. Camp Yellow Ribbon is open to all military children! Find out more or register today.

Channel 3 Kids Camp

This is a camp just for military kids in Connecticut! Celebrate America and being a military child, over the week of July 4th at this camp. This camp has been around for several years and is part of Operation Purple!

Semper Fi Fund Kids Camps

These camps go beyond the summer by pairing high-school-aged military kids with younger children. They develop the bond during a summer session. Then they continue to connect throughout the school year in a mentor/mentee relationship.

The Semper Fi Fund Kids Camps are designed to help military kids learn coping skills and develop lifelong bonds to support each other. For more information, contact SffKidsCamp@semperfifund.org.

Ask for a Military Discount at Your Local Summer Camps

If your child isn’t attending one of these military child-specific summer camps, there are other options. Reach out to programs where you live and ask about military discounts. Some programs might not advertise their military deals or may offer them on a by-request basis.

Has your child attended any of these camps for military kids? Would you recommend them? Why or why not? Did we miss a great camp? Tell us in the comments!

How to Get Your Kids to Pitch in with Your PCS Purge

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“And that’s how one-third of my closet ended up at the Goodwill, children.”

That’s me, literally every time we PCS.

I’m, honestly, pretty great at getting rid of EVERYTHING when we move.

My kids, not so much.

Even with just 2 small children, the amount of clothes, toys and books is astounding. The next time we PCS, I’ll be looking for them to help me out, using these tips.

8 Ways Your Kids Can Pitch In During Your Pre-PCS Purge

Teach your kids how to get rid of unwanted or unused items by having them help with a PCS purge of their toys, books or clothes.

8 Ways Your Kids Can Pitch In During Your PCS Purge

Throw Away Everything That Is Broken, Damaged or Missing Pieces

Kids break stuff, misplace pieces and lose interest. Before you start any sort of declutter, go through all the stuff your kids have together. Weed out everything busted, down a few bits or boring. This means kid’s meal toys, dried out markers, chunky Play-Doh and cars with only one wheel.

Then get a big trash bag and put it all in.

Regift Your Old Toys to Younger Children

Kids grow out of toys, it’s true. Instead of just shoving all the old toys in a bag at midnight, let your kids share the love to younger kiddos.

With your children, go through their stash and talk about which toys they are too big for now. Make a list of younger children you know. Try to match toys to children.

Then use up your leftover gift wrap and deliver the toys. Be sure to check with each child’s respective parents first.

Donate Gently Used Books to Your Local Library

Like toys, children can age out of books. Of course, there are the sentimental favorites that your kids will always want to hang on to. All of those other books can hit the road.

Instead of just trashing them, check with the local library or your children’s schools and teachers. Libraries usually hold annual book sales to raise money. Schools, and especially teachers, always need extra books. So drop off a few boxes!

Have a Mini-Closet Purge

This one’s for the girls (although, boys are totally welcome)! As you are going through your closet, have your daughter(s) go through their doll clothes. To make it even more fun, be super enthusiastic about watching the Barbie fashion show!

Figure out which shoes are missing partners, any buttons that are busted and if any Velcro has lost its grip. All of these can go in the trash bag.

Host a Clothing Swap with Other Parents

Get together with your other parent friends and swap out those clothes. This is great for you and the kids. With littler ones, you can lead the charge to declutter the closet.

For older children, have them help you. Do a fashion show together to check what fits or what your kiddo doesn’t like anymore.

Then host a party to do the actual swapping. Organize the clothes by size and/or gender, set out some appetizers and drinks, then go to town! Everyone walks away with new-to-you clothes. Everything left over goes to charity.

Decide to Keep Only Your Favorites

For those with stuffed animal (or any other kind of toy) overload, make decluttering into a game. Toss everything out into the middle of the room, turn on some tunes and dance like crazy. When the music stops, grab a stuffed animal and decide if it’s a favorite. Have your child explain why s/he likes it so much. Favorites go back on the bed or into the toy box. Everything left on the floor gets donated.

Create a Schoolwork Photo Book

School aged kids come home with reams of papers and projects and just stuff. Some of it is valuable, but most of it is not. Do some prep work throughout the school year by getting rid of the junk as you go.

For things that you or your child love, but don’t want to drag all over creation, take a photo or scan it. Later, pick your absolute favorites and order a photo book for the school year. A slim photo book is easier to bring with you than that living museum display.

For everything else, pick up an artist’s portfolio with pockets. Label each pocket with a year and stash a few of the best artwork and schoolwork in there.

Let your child lead the charge on which items to scan, trash or stash. Definitely put in your two cents and keep some of your own favorites.

Organize a Yard Sale

For older kids, let them pick items to sell at a yard sale. And then let them keep the money. Seriously, that’s it. Be sure to highlight the fact that selling more things could equal more money.

They can use the money for ANYTHING once you get to the new duty station. A little parental nudge encouraging them to not spend the money on more stuff is absolutely permitted.

How do your kids pitch in before a PCS? What are your family rituals that help make the PCS process go smoothly? Tell us in the comments section!

A Thank You Note to My Military Child

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If I had to make a list of all the things I find myself saying to you on a regular basis, it would include things like “brush your teeth” or “take care of the dishes.”  And it’s likely that the list would also include my daily litany of questions like “how was school?” or “did you finish your homework?”

As I sit here thinking about that list, I realize the one thing I don’t say often enough is “thank you.”

What I mean is, I don’t often take the time to say “thank you” for the contributions you make to the success of our military family.

You don’t get a say when a new set of PCS orders sends us to a new duty station hundreds if not thousands of miles away from the last one. You don’t get to choose which school you will go to. You don’t have the option of saying “no, I don’t want to move,” or “no, I don’t want to leave my friends.” You don’t get to demand that we get to be together on birthdays and holidays, or heck, even weekends.

And yet, despite having to say goodbye over and over, despite having to adjust to new routines, new bus schedules, new teachers, new houses and new ways of doing things, you get up every day, hug me, and face the world with the kind of optimism that makes it just that much easier for me to get through my day.

Some days you come home excited to share all the new things you’ve learned and to tell me about all the new people you’ve met. Other days, you struggle to fit in and try not to tear up when you tell me how you miss your old school.

A Thank You Note to My Military Child

Know that you are truly loved and admired. Know that, without a doubt, your dad and I wouldn’t be who we are today, wouldn’t have accomplished as much and wouldn’t be as happy as we are, without you.

You never question the importance of your dad’s service and when you talk about him to your friends, I can see and hear your pride. When he’s away, you get as excited as I do when the phone rings.  You keep track of how many days are left until he gets to come home. You allow him to be a part of your life, even when he can’t physically be there for you.

You are one of the first to stand for the National Anthem and you never fail to hold your hand to your heart when saying the pledge. You ask questions about rank and insignia, about policy and regulation, and you look forward to company-sponsored events, seeing every member of the unit, service members and family members alike, as friends.

You probably don’t know it, but you keep me grounded when our crazy, migrant life gets a little overwhelming. Your smiles and easily-given hugs remind your dad and me why we work so hard.

You don’t question the life you’ve been born into. You laugh, love, struggle, adapt and triumph as if it was no big thing. As if reinventing your life every couple of years was some how normal and easy.

Know that you are truly loved and admired. Know that, without a doubt, your dad and I wouldn’t be who we are today, wouldn’t have accomplished as much and wouldn’t be as happy as we are, without you.

Thank you for seeing our military life as an adventure filled with purpose.

Thank you for being the strong, caring, motivated, understanding and brilliant human beings you are.

Thank you for taking this military-brat life and making the most of it.

Thank you.

Want more ideas on how to celebrate your military child this month? Check this list.

8 Alternatives to Putting Candy in Your Kid’s Easter Basket

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Cute little chocolate bunnies and peanut butter filled eggs are taunting you with every trip to the commissary. “Pick me,” they cry. “Put me in the Easter basket this year!”

Instead of getting your kids all sugared up at zero dark thirty, fill their baskets with non-candy treats! Here are 8 great things to grab that will last longer than the black jelly beans.

8 Alternatives to Putting Candy in Your Kid's Easter Basket

What do you put in your child’s Easter basket?

8 Alternatives to Putting Candy in Your Kid’s Easter Basket

Books

This is perfect for kids of all ages! From the touch and feel books for babies to chapter book for the older ones, everyone can use a new book.

Plus, there are so many directions you could take this. You could stick to Easter theme books with bunnies and Bible stories. Or go with a general spring theme, which opens up all those books about farming, baseball and flowers. Choose a book from a series your child loves, which could lead you into giving the sequels for other celebrations. Finally, just go nuts at the bookstore and grab anything that you think your kiddos would read.

Bubbles

Nothing says spring like tiny bubbles floating on a gentle breeze. And bubbles can keep children entertained while you hide the eggs for the hunt too. As an added bonus, bubbles and bubble accessories are usually pretty inexpensive. This means you can really stock up with different wands and automatic bubble-making toys.

Plus, bubbles are basically just soap. Which will make cleaning that face full of chocolate even easier!

Sidewalk Chalk

The sidewalks are probably clear of snow up north and it hasn’t gotten unbearably hot yet in the south. It’s the perfect time for sidewalk chalk! Kids are universally in love with chalk. They can create huge masterpieces with complex colors or draw up a quick game of hopscotch.

Kites

Spring is a perfect time to go fly a kite! Kites are everywhere right now, making it easy to pick one up. They also come in a variety of styles and at different price points. There are very affordable plastic varieties sold at drugstores everywhere. You could also go bigger and snag a fabric kite that might last a few seasons. Finally, there are very fancy kites that come with all sorts of bells and whistles.

Craft Kits

Instead of getting sticky fingers on Easter Sunday, your kids could be creating beautiful necklaces or putting together dinosaurs! There are craft kits in a variety of interest areas available for kids from preschool to college. Crafts can also help to keep everyone occupied during dinner prep or wake you from your post-feast daze.

And crafts can bring people of different generations together. Grandparents, aunts or uncles might want to pitch in when your little one starts to test his catapult kit!

Coloring Books

Coloring books are all the rage right now. There are complex, beautiful designs for older kids and adults, as well as the classics for the younger crowd. You’ll get major bonus points if your coloring books include stickers or have activities to complete. Throw in a new pack of crayons in the Easter basket and you’re golden!

Journals

Instead of the traditional blank notebook, check out unjournals or guided journals. These give you a prompt or ask you to finish a picture. These go beyond the basics of recording your thoughts and ask users to stretch their minds or think outside the box.

Puzzles

Like books, you could go any direction with puzzles. And they are perfect for every age group! There are the toddler puzzles with those chunky handles for littler kids. Or challenge your family with a 5,000-piece color gradient puzzle. There are also tons of puzzles in the middle. Pick a puzzle of a favorite piece of art or order your own puzzle made from a family photo. Grab some puzzle glue and a frame for a beautiful keepsake to hang on your walls.

What do you put in your child’s Easter basket? Tell us in the comments!

Are You an Introvert and a Military Spouse? You’re Not Alone

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Yet another mandatory family fun day and you’re feeling like it will be anything but fun. All those people that you just don’t know, loud music and friendly banter.

It sounds like a recipe for a terrible day for an introvert.

This is also the stereotypical picture of what it means to be a military spouse. Given how much we move, it can often seem like the best, and often only, way to make friends is to join in these large, loud events. Or to just show up with baked goods whenever a new neighbor moves in.

Are You an Introvert and a Military Spouse?

When you are an introvert, the social events and FRG meetings of military life may seem overwhelming.

Here are ways to find friends and socialize when you’re a military spouse who’s an introvert.

Find Your Peeps Online

Military spouse networks are popping up like daisies online! From blogs to Facebook to Instagram, there are so many fun people and groups to join or follow.

First, check out your base-specific Facebook groups. Sometimes these are secret or closed, and you may need to be approved by an admin. However, these groups can help you to navigate your duty station or to make new friends. From school and restaurant recommendations to the dish on what all those sirens were, base groups will give you all the information.

Next, check out blogs and pages that are service specific. For new spouses, you can learn a lot about traditions and customs. “Seasoned” spouses can share knowledge and help others. Everyone can get info on different duty stations or events, and even job opportunities!

Beyond branch of service and duty stations, there are Facebook groups for professional military spouses, spouses who blog, spouses who are attorneys and spouses who (fill in the blank). There are also tons of blogs covering all aspects of military life, from helping parents with K-12 education to parenting to everyday military life. Check it out!

Connect Offline Too

Once you join a few online groups, try to keep track of other people that have similar interests or that you have interacted with. You could both be commenting on the same posts, asking the same questions or live in the same neighborhood.

Send a private message to someone that you think might be a good friend for you. Chat online until you (or your friend) feel comfortable bringing up meeting in real life. Get together for coffee or go do something that both of you enjoy. It could be anything from cosplay to riding horses to sitting on the beach.

Use Friends to Make Friends

Once you have a core group of friends at your current duty station, try to find new friends through them. It’s a small world in the military. Chances are good that your friends will know at least one person at your next hometown. When you get orders, ask your IRL or online friends to help you make connections.

Or your friends might be able to expand your friendship circle where you already live. Take a chance and invite a friend of a friend to join you for coffee or drinks.

If you have kids, you can even use them to make new connections. Reach out to the parents of a good friend of your own child and schedule a play date or playground meet-up. A play date will have a specific end time, and you can get to know the other parent(s) over coffee at home.

Playgrounds are neutral territory and you can make an easy exit if things aren’t going well.

Alternately, you could keep the fun going or schedule another get together easily.

Check Out Specialty Groups

What do you like? Check online and on base for like-minded groups. There are groups for runners, bloggers, people of all religious faiths, book clubs and the list goes on.

You could connect online at first and then check out a group meet-up later.

Getting to know other people who share your interests can help you to connect with the military and civilian population. Plus, there will likely be similar groups at many bases. When you move, reach out to the local chapter of your group. You’ll be able to make friends more quickly and easily!

Socialize on Your Terms

Sometimes typical military spouse tasks are unavoidable, but you can make them your own. Try to volunteer or participate on your terms.

Offer to help with the children’s corner, organize donated items or bring items for a potluck. You’ll be helping out the unit and meeting new people, just in smaller doses. You never know if you might bond over sharing apple pie recipes or figuring out the best way to get care packages to deployed troops for the holidays!

Take a Break

Being an introvert, you value your alone time. Honor your needs and take a break when you need one. You could duck outside at a party or take a walk during a family fun day. Plus, it is not unusual at all for people to use their smartphones, so don’t hesitate to escape into Facebook for a little while.

If you simply don’t want to take on a task or attend an event, decline graciously or suggest an alternative. You shouldn’t be afraid to say no!

No matter how you choose to make friends, having a strong support network can be key to making the most of military life!

Are you an introvert? How do you find friends as a military spouse?