Military Life News

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What’s Wrong with Military Service as a Family Business?

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Government officials are worried that the military is not diversified enough. A recent report showed that the majority of service members are part of what they call the family business, meaning military service runs in the family.

A surprising 80 percent of recent troops “come from a family where at least one parent, grandparent, aunt or uncle, sibling or cousin has also worn their nation’s uniform. More than 25% have a parent who has served,” according to a Pentagon report of 2012-2013 recruits.

Military service is a wonderful and proud tradition within many families.

What problem could the government possibly have with military service legacy?

Members of the Senate Armed Services Committee subcommittee discussed this topic recently in length. They are worried that the pool of service members is not as diversified as it could be.

When America had the draft, the military was made up of a more diverse population. At the height of the Vietnam War there were 3.5 million troops. They came for all walks of life, had different religious beliefs, different levels of education, different ideals and different backgrounds.

Now the military has closer to 1.4 million service members. The number of men and women entering the military is shrinking and so is the diversity within it.

If the military continues to mainly be made up of those in the family business, the military will continue to shrink and so will its diversity, or so the government thinks.

The pool of potential recruits is dwindling, which is going to force the Pentagon to think outside the family on ways to recruit new troops.

Lt. Commander Nate Christensen is the spokesperson for the Chief of Naval Personnel. He said the reason behind their worry is

We believe that this limits both the talent pool from which the Navy draws, as well as the diversity of background in our force, and ultimately could lead to a civil-military divide.

The Navy has a long tradition of sailors in the family business as 82 percent of them come from families with other service members.

The Air Force has an even greater number of families with multiple service members.

Eighty-six percent of current airmen have close relatives that have served in the military. The Army and Marines also have large numbers, 79 percent and 77 percent, of those in the family business.

Why do so many people decide to follow in the military service footsteps of their family members?

People make choices based on the life they have led and the people they have grown up with. Service members are likely to influence their family members to either join or not to join the military. Many that do join the military also enter the same branch of service that their family members were in. Fifty-nine percent of Army recruits come from a family that has close relatives in the Army.

The traditional make-up of the military no longer stands however. What was once mostly middle- and working-class men is now diversified with women in many of the positions.

There has been a large influx of women entering the military in the last few years as well. With the military opening doors to careers in fields women were not eligible to go into previously, the trend is set to continue. The military overall is shrinking, but in the last decade, the number of women joining the military has increased.

The government can’t afford to simply count on those entering the family business to keep the military strong. They’re going to have to start thinking outside the norm and recruit fresh blood, so to speak.

There are so many opportunities available in this age that the younger generation is not enlisting at the rate of previous years. The Pentagon is going to have to find a new incentive to get talented people to join the military.

In doing so, however, I hope that they don’t diminish the pride service members feel in continuing a family tradition. The term “family business” is being turned into a negative, when in fact it is a wonderful thing. I come from a family with a long line of service members and I married a sailor. I don’t know if our son will grow up and join the military, but I will be proud to have him in the family business, if he decides to.

What do you think of the statement that “military is a family business?”

Keep Your Sanity During Solo Parenting

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Keeping your sanity during solo parenting can be difficult.

I’ve been part of the military life since birth, as an Army brat and later a Navy wife. I’ve witnessed years of my mom going through it with my brother and me and now as a mother myself, I’m seeing firsthand what it is like to take on solo parenting when my husband is away.

Sunday marked my second year as a parent. I’ve experienced my share of deployments, late nights when my husband is working and weeks where he’s gone for training. He was deployed for 7 months after our son was born.

Being a parent is tough work, emotionally and physically. Being a solo parent can be even harder.

6 Tips for Keeping Your Sanity During Solo Parenting

How do you keep your sanity when you’re solo parenting?

Don’t let yourself get into a state of disarray during times of solo parenting. Your spouse may be away, but family life continues. I’ve made a point to tell many military wives and friends that you can’t let this stressful time bring you down and I’ve had to remind myself of my own advice multiple times.

Take a breath and follow these tips to stay out of or get out of a solo parenting slump.

6 Tips for Keeping Your Sanity During Solo Parenting

6 Tips for Keeping Your Sanity During Solo Parenting

Solo parenting can be hard, but hopefully these tips will help ease the tension and bring back a sense of peace and self-confidence.

Make friends. Do not isolate yourself during periods of solo parenting. Deployments, TDY/TDAs, unaccompanied orders and training cycles that keep our spouses working long hours can be tough. Talking to others can really help. Make friends with your neighbors so you have someone close by. Join your command’s spouse network. Find out about the PTA at your children’s school.

Make time for yourself. Send the kids out to a sleepover. Take turns with another mom watching each other’s kids and go get a massage, shop without your children or just enjoy a coffee and muffin on your back deck. Get a babysitter and go out with friends and fellow parents. You need to talk to grown-ups, particularly if you have a baby or toddler.

Get out of your house. Get out of your pajamas, put on clothes that empower you and leave your house. Go to a movie, try a new restaurant or go for a run. Nothing gets you down more than sitting at home. Get off the couch, turn off your computer and step out your front door. There’s a whole world out there full of possibilities.

Volunteer. There’s something about helping others that truly helps you grow as a person. As a solo parent, you have a lot on your plate, but making time for others really has its own rewards. Volunteer at your church for Sunday school, serve lunch at a local soup kitchen or read the mail to an elderly person.

I’ve done this and it is a wonderful feeling to see how happy they are to have company and to receive letters knowing someone is out there thinking of them. If you just can’t find the time, clean out your closet and make a donation to your local Salvation Army. You will have helped someone in need and cleared the clutter in your house at the same time.

Exercise. If you aren’t already participating in a regular exercise regimen, start one.

You can join a gym, hire a personal trainer or take a class at the YMCA. You can just put on your walking shoes and head out the door. Exercise increases your metabolism and raises serotonin. Serotonin affects your mood (read happiness), your appetite and digestion as well as sleep patterns, memory and sexual desire.

Now who wouldn’t want all that? Motivated to exercise now?

Make time for fun. The new school year has started and there will be stress from homework and juggling after-school activities. As a solo parent, you are responsible for all of this.

Make Friday night a pizza and movie night with the kids. Take the kids bowling, have fun at your local putt putt golf or dare I say it…take your kids to Chuck E. Cheese’s.

Children experience stress during times when a parent is away too. It is important that your kids have fun and enjoy time playing. It also keeps their minds busy and away from focusing too much on the fact that a parent isn’t there.

Related: Resiliency Starts with Resources: 4 Resources for Military Kids

Solo parenting can be hard, but hopefully some of this advice will help ease the tension and bring back a sense of peace and self-confidence. Remember, you can do this. You are not alone.

Seek out help if you become overwhelmed. You are not the only military spouse who is solo parenting out there.

How do you keep your sanity when you’re solo parenting?

Not All Commissaries are Created Equal

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I enjoy shopping at the commissary. Every fort and base I’ve lived near, as an Army brat and now as a Navy spouse, has had a good commissary and I’ve always shopped at them.

I am completely bummed that we are moving this summer to a location that does not have a commissary.

When we drove up for a short house-hunting trip, I made sure we drove to the next closest base to see what their commissary is like. A friend had told me it has a small commissary. How small? There were only 6 isles and 3 cashiers.

Not all commissaries are created equal is an understatement.

I was so disappointed. It was instantly obvious that I would not be able to do our weekly grocery shopping at the commissary. I really am bummed. I like my routine and the money we save by shopping there. When it snowed here recently and the bases were closed, I bought our groceries out in town and the bill was $75 more than my usual bill at the commissary. That was an eye-opener.

Every move has its challenges and ever military installation is different. Here in Virginia Beach I am within a 20-minute drive of 3 commissaries. They are each a bit different. The one on JEB Little Creek-Fort Story has a more open floor plan than the others and it is right next to the Exchange, which is very convenient. It is my preferred commissary to shop at, especially since it has more than 20 checkout lanes.

Cellphone reception for some reason seems to be universally poor at commissaries. I’m excited that NAS Oceana Commissary is the first one to test free Wi-Fi. That is so helpful with keeping up with the electronic coupons on my rewards card as I tend to forget to load them ahead of time.

I don’t use the deli, but I have had delicious birthday cakes made at the bakery. Some commissaries do not have a deli or bakery while others have really big and popular ones. Some embrace technology and have a kiosk for customers to order their deli and bakery items while others I’ve shopped at still only have the option to take a number and wait in line. NAS Oceana’s deli actually has its own Facebook page.

It will be strange not to have any of these options on our next assignment. The commissary’s slogan “it’s worth the drive” has always been something I agreed with. There is one more base just within driving distance so I might make a monthly trip there if it turns out to have a good commissary.

I’m sure I’m not alone in facing disappointment on the size difference of commissaries. Naval Base San Diego boasts DeCA’s largest commissary. Its 126,000-square-foot store offers 22,500 items; that’s 2,000 more than the store held before it was remodeled. Imagine if you came from a tiny commissary and walked into that one? You would probably be quite overwhelmed. Bigger isn’t always better to everyone.

I would like to try the coffee kiosks in one of the newer commissaries. You get to blend your own beverage. I haven’t been to one that has such a thing, nor have I been to one that has a health and wellness department. The commissary at Naval Base San Diego has both of those. Perhaps one day we’ll be stationed near a commissary that has one.

Stating that all commissaries are not created equal is truly an understatement. Where’s your favorite commissary? What does it offer that keeps you shopping there?

10 Signs You are Frugal to a Fault

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Are you guilty of being frugal to a fault?

10 Frugal Habits that Cost You Money

Is it really worth it to only have single ply tissue?

I love saving money. My proudest moment in savvy shopping was when I haggled with a Navy Exchange salesperson to reduce the price of a patio set by 55% and it wasn’t even on sale. However there have been times when I have to admit, I’ve been guilty of being frugal to a fault.

Here are 10 ways you think you’re saving money, but are actually spending more.  (Yes I am guilty too.)

  1. Clipping ALL Coupons: We all love coupons, but if you buy something you don’t need just because there’s a coupon, you are wasting money. The flyer when you walk into the commissary is full of coupons but do you really need everything offered or do you just feel the need to buy them because there is a coupon? Don’t buy the bottle of mouthwash just to save 50 cents.
  2. Buying Sale Items: You see that big red sale sign and are drawn to it. Though you know you don’t need it, you no doubt instantly come up with a reason you should buy it. Read sale signs carefully. Target has red clearance signs that make you think you’re getting a great deal, but quite often it’s only a few cents difference. Seriously, numerous times I have almost picked something up only to read the fine print that it’s only 5 cents off the regular price.
  3. Creating Upcycled Crafts: Turning something into a craft project sounds good and fun, but how much money did you just spend buying all the other things you’ll need to turn that toilet paper roll into something?
  4. Redeeming a Store Credit Card Discount: As you check out of most stores these days the clerk will likely ask if you want to save 15% by opening a store account. You might want to open their little pamphlet and check out the details first. The 29% APR is going to change your mind.

    10 Ways Being Frugal is Costing You Money

    Buying in bulk isn’t always the best way to save money.

  5. Purchasing Warranties: As Consumer Reports points out, it isn’t worth the money in most cases. You might be spending more money than your product is worth and many companies will work with you regardless because they want to keep customer service positive.
  6. Buying in Bulk: Do you really need 5 gallons of mayonnaise? Will it go bad before you can use it all? Before you buy something break down the price per ounce to see if it really is cheaper.
  7. Being a Cash Hound: Saving money for a rainy day is great, but keeping large amounts of cash on hand is actually causing you to lose money. You’re missing out on interest you would be earning through a checking account or other financial endeavor.
  8. Buying More for the Free Shipping: I’m guilty of this one. I just can’t stand the idea of paying more for shipping than I did for the product itself. If shipping will cost the same no matter how much I buy then I feel like I should get more for the money. Similarly, if spending $75 qualifies for free shipping but you’re only up to $60, do you buy more to meet that amount?
  9. Making Your Own (fill in the blank): Pinterest has many wonderful ideas. Is it really worth the money to spend the time to make some of these things (ie. beer, laundry detergent, butter)? Many DIY projects require buying supplies that you’ll only use for one project.
  10. Being Cheap. If you are so over the top frugal that you will only buy what’s at the cheapest price possible you might just be missing out. Is it really worth it to only have single ply tissue? Did you buy something so poorly made that it breaks and you have to buy another? Did you thaw out a chicken breast and not get around to cooking it until 5 days later and make yourself eat it even if it is bad just because you don’t want to waste the money you spent?

    10 Ways Being Frugal is Costing You Money

    Keeping cash on hand is actually causing you to lose money.

Sometimes being frugal just doesn’t add up.

What have you done to save money that ended up costing you more?