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29 Ways to Tell Your Spouse You Love Them

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Love is in the air and Valentine’s Day is right around the corner.

29 Simple Ways to Tell Your Spouse You Love Them

What are your tips and tricks for keeping love alive in your military marriage?

As a military couple you know how special your time is together. You want to tell your spouse how much you love them.

Here are 29 simple ways to do so.

  1. Leave them a love note. Leave love notes around the house for them to find. Put some in their suitcase if they are about to go somewhere. They can find them and read them later on.
  2. Make their favorite meal. Everyone loves to eat a good meal. Cook up their favorite without telling them. They will love to see that you thought about them enough to plan their favorite meal.
  3. Send them an email. If your spouse is gone, show them love by sending them a quick email. Tell them what you love the most about them.
  4. Send them a text. Text messaging is also a great way to share how you feel.
  5. Write them a love letter. If you have more time, write them a love letter. Make the letter at least 3 pages and then either send it to them in the mail or leave the letter out for them to read when they are home.
  6. Do the dishes. Sometimes doing a chore your spouse normally does themselves can help show them love. This takes the stress off and they will be very happy you took the time to lessen their load.
  7. Tell them. Sometimes just stopping them in the hallway and saying, “I love you” can mean a lot. Especially if you both have been really busy lately.
  8. Buy them something cute. Does your spouse have her eye on some cute earrings? What about some new pens? Surprise your spouse with a small gift.
  9. Clean their car.This is a great way to show someone you care. Wash their car for them so the next time they go to drive somewhere the car feels nice and clean.
  10. Buy them a book. Does your spouse like to read? Buy them a new book. They will love that.
  11. Give them a framed photo. These always make the best gifts, especially if they are deployed or away from home.
  12. Pack a care package. If your spouse is deployed, send them a love-themed care package filled with goodies.
  13. Write “I love you” in the snow. If there is snow, write how much you love them in the snow, take a photo and send the picture to them if they are not at home right now.
  14. Take care of the children for the night. If your spouse is normally the one to handle bedtime, offer to take over. Having a break from the kids works wonders.
  15. Flowers. Always a good way to let someone know you love them.
  16. Chocolate. Who doesn’t like chocolate?
  17. Have lunch together. Plan to meet up with them during the workday. Have a nice lunch date. Lunchtime is a great way to spend some time together.
  18. Draw a picture. This can be a fun gift. Draw a picture of your life together.
  19. Do their laundry. Take this chore off of their plate. Do their laundry for them, fold it and put the clothes away.
  20. Give them a hug. Very simple but does the trick.
  21. Give them kisses. Random kisses are a great way to show love.
  22. Be there. Just be around, be open to talk, be there for them.
  23. Tell them what you love about them. Sometimes we get so busy with life. Spend some time telling your spouse what you love about them.
  24. Watch a movie together. Pick something out after the kids go to bed. If they are deployed make plans to watch the movie and talk about what you thought about it afterwards.
  25. Watch their favorite TV show with them. Sometimes showing love is sitting down and watching a television show we might not enjoy that our spouse does.
  26. Send photos. If they are deployed, send them photos on a regular basis.
  27. Send a homemade gift. Make something for your spouse. They will love the item knowing your hands made something for them.
  28. Find songs that remind you of them. We don’t make mixed tapes anymore but we can always send a playlist of songs that remind us of them.
  29. Plan a vacation. Pick a place you have both wanted to go and plan a trip. This is a great way to show love to each other.

Even the simplest of actions can go a long way when celebrating how much you love someone. Whether they are home or in a faraway place. Take the time to tell your spouse how much you love and care for them.

What are your tips and tricks for keeping love alive in your military marriage?

 

How 2016 BAH Rates May Affect Your Family

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Every year military service members and their families wait to find out what is going to change with their BAH rates. BAH, which stands for Basic Allowance for Housing, is based on your ZIP code. This allowance is supposed to be put toward your housing costs.

How the 2016 BAH Rates May Affect Your Military Family

On average, BAH is only meant to cover 98 percent of housing costs instead of 100 percent.

If you live on post, you are not going to get BAH but you won’t have to pay rent either. If you live in privatized housing on base, you receive your housing allowance and pay it to the private housing manager each month.

If your BAH rates have gone up you will be making a little more each month. On average they have gone up $54 per month this year, nationwide. However, the amount that the BAH is supposed to cover is down 2 percent.

This doesn’t mean that you can’t find a place within the limits of your monthly allowance, but that on average, BAH is only meant to cover 98 percent of the costs now instead of the full 100 percent that the allowance used to cover.

If your rates have gone down, you don’t need to worry at first. They will not change until you move or when your service member gets a promotion. Then they will be adjusted based on your location and rank.

Now, if the rate that you are supposed to get paid when you change rank is lower than it was before the change, you will be grandfathered in to your old rate. This is good because no one will receive less than they are getting in the previous year unless they are making a change.

I always used to enjoy that first paycheck of the new year when our LES reflected our new BAH rates. We were lucky in that all our time in active duty Army, the rates always went up. This didn’t mean that we would run out to buy a bigger house or spend more on rent but having a little bit extra each month to put toward our bills was always nice.

When buying a house, we knew we wanted our mortgage to stay below our BAH. Luckily we can make that happen in our current location but that might not always be the case. You should keep in mind that off-base rent might be pretty close to your BAH since a lot of the landlords know the BAH rates and charge based on that amount.

If your BAH does go up, put the extra money in savings or use the money to help with your debt. You will be glad that you did.

In the case that your BAH is going down and being close to a move or a promotion, think about how much you will be getting after the change. You might find yourself frustrated because of the change. You might have assumed you would be making more money once you got promoted but sticking to a budget will be your best bet. Make housing choices based on the new amount and you won’t run into any financial problems.

If you are planning a move to a new duty station, check the rates for the next year. When trying to decide on where to live, you will need to know how much in BAH you are going to be getting. Ideally, you should have your BAH cover your housing, including utilities, but that isn’t always a possibility in all areas.

With proper planning, you don’t have to worry if your BAH fluctuates. You can adjust and figure out how to make the new rate work for you and your family.

Is your service member’s BAH increasing in 2016? Click here to find out so you can start planning for any future moves or changes to where you are living.

 

Calling Military Spouses ‘Simply Civilians’ Really Gets Under My Skin

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“Military spouses are just civilians.”

“Spouses are not military; they are civilians like everyone else.”

“Just because you are married to someone in the military doesn’t mean you are in the military, quit saying you are.”

Have you heard any of these phrases before?

I have.

I have even had to backtrack when someone assumed that I had served too because I said something about how “we” were in the military when talking about our experiences as a military family. That was frustrating.

I get it.

As military spouses we are not actually IN the military. I am not sure many military spouses think they are. However, life is different when you are married to someone in the military. Life is more complicated and just so different from life in a civilian family.

When my husband joined the military, everything changed. We had spent about 3 years as a married couple before he joined. When he signed up, everything was different. We were no longer a civilian family, we were a military one.

Having lived both types of lives, I see a huge difference. When people tell me they are similar, I just have to laugh. Life could be exactly the same for some military spouses, but that has not been my personal experience at all. Life changed when he enlisted.

Although military spouses are technically civilians and not in the military themselves, hearing that we are “simply civilians” can seem a bit shallow.

Hearing that can make you feel like you don’t matter or that what you have been though doesn’t matter. Hearing those words can cause military spouses to feel like they are not a part of the military when they really are.

The truth is, when you are married to a member of the military, you are not living a civilian lifestyle, you are living a military one. The military has a lot of say over your life. They tell you where you need to live, when your spouse will be home, if you will have to go months and months without seeing them, whether you can go on vacation, etc. Living a military life is very different from living a civilian one.

Before the military my husband worked a job where he left at about 7 a.m. and was home before 5 p.m. He could take time off without much issue. If he was sick, he didn’t have to go anywhere, he would just pick up the phone and call in. If we wanted to go somewhere, he didn’t have to get a special pass to go further then 250 miles. He didn’t have to get his leave approved only to have that taken away at the last minute. Life was simpler because although he had a boss and an employer, they didn’t have the same type of control over him that the military would.

We should stop saying that military spouses are “simply civilians” because it just doesn’t make any sense to do so. Yes, we know that military spouses didn’t sign up to serve in the military. We understand that but there is no reason to call us civilians. Doing so puts up a wall that doesn’t need to be there.

So what are military spouses? If we are not serving in the military but we are not quite civilians, what are we? Some sort of hybrid?

Half military, half civilian? I don’t like that description either.

I think we are military spouses and we should be called just that. Military spouses are the backbone of the military community. They are the ones that can support the military service member and help them through their career.

How do you feel when someone points out that military spouses are “simply civilians?”

A Military Spouse’s Guide to Space-A

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Space-A is a great way for a military spouse to travel.

A Military Spouse's Guide to Space-A Travel

Pack your patience and flexibility when using Space-A to travel as a military spouse.

We used Space-A back in 2009 to get from Germany to California and back again. The whole thing was quite the experience which wasn’t always easy but I am glad that I had the chance to try flying this way. Traveling Space-A isn’t for the faint of heart and knowing how this type of travel works is very important for having a successful trip.

Space-A travel is when members of the military, retirees and their spouses can travel on aircraft under the jurisdiction of the United States Department of Defense when there is room available for them to do so. There is no guarantee that you will get a flight and you need a lot of patience and flexibility if you are going to use this method to get to where you want to go.

For us it took about 3 days to get to California from Germany. We were lucky in that we got on the first flight we wanted to get on. However, after 4 hours and after we were seated on the flight, the plane broke down and everyone had to get off and start all over again. This is the type of thing that can happen which can get frustrating but you need to be prepared for delays when you travel using Space-A.

The first step in planning for your Space-A trip is figuring out where you are going to go.

Most Space-A flights leave from Air Force bases around the United States and overseas. You would want to see where you can fly and how often flights go out of that location. Some places might only have 1 or 2 flights a week so your chances of getting out of there would be slim. Sometimes it is best to drive to a better location to get a better chance of catching a flight.

You would then need to figure out what your Space-A ranking is. The Air Mobility Command has a list of what you would be classified as. As a military spouse traveling you would be classified as either:

  • Category III– If your spouse is deployed more than 365 consecutive days or if you are traveling with your active duty spouse.
  • Category IV– If your spouse is deployed for more than 30 consecutive days but less than 365 days.
  • Category V-If you are flying without your spouse and they are not deployed.
  • Category VI– Retired military and their spouses

The lower your category, the better your chances of catching a flight. For example Category III is a higher priority for seating than Category VI. Each flight has a limited number of seats. Sometimes the seats are more than a hundred, other times there are just 4 or 5 seats available. You will need to register at every location you plan to fly out of. Once you have, you still have to wait to see if you get on the flight and you will need to check in as “present” when you get there.

A Military Spouse's Guide to Space-A

Have you flown using Space-A? Where did you go? What was your experience with Space-A travel?

This is where patience and flexibility come into play when flying Space-A. If a flight only has a few seats and you are a lower category, unless a lot of people decide not to get on that flight, your name will probably never get called. You will need to have a plan for if this happens to you. If you don’t, you could get stuck somewhere and that can be really upsetting.

The best way to prepare for Space-A is to do your research.

Since I was flying to the United States from Germany, I figured out which locations in the U.S. could get me to California. Although they did have flights going all the way there from Germany, I knew that might not be possible. I figured out which of the U.S. bases did go there and was open to any of those locations. In the end we flew into Baltimore and then had to make our way to Andrews Air Force Base where we were able to get a flight to Travis Air Force Base in California.

With Space-A you also need to have all of the important travel documents with you for you and all of your children. These documents include:

  • Travel authorization
  • ID card
  • Unaccompanied dependent memorandum
  • Valid Passport
  • Birth Certificates and Social Security cards

Make sure you double-check everything as you will not be able to fly without the right paperwork.

If you do make a flight, you must be there in person to check-in. You must be ready to fly. If you are not, they will go to the next person on the list.

Keep in mind that with Space-A you could be doing a lot of waiting. Plan for a lot of waiting. Bring something for you and your kids to do. Make sure you have the means to stay in a hotel because if a flight gets canceled you might have to wait until the next day to try again.

In the end, you have to decide if Space-A travel is for you. It will not work for everyone. Sometimes buying a commercial airline ticket will be best.

You have to be flexible with Space-A, you have to plan ahead and you have to be willing to change your plans over and over again until you can get to your location.

Have you used Space-A travel? What tips do you have for using Space-A?

6 Things Civilians Should Know About MilFams

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The military community encompasses a very small percent of the entire United States population. That includes everyone that has ever served and their family members too. As a result, the civilian population might not be as privy to military culture and they may have some misconceptions about military families.

If you happen to be a civilian strolling around this part of the Internet, welcome! I’m glad you came and hope you have a chance to learn a little more about the military community because there are a few misconceptions that I hope to straighten out. I’m hoping I can stomp out any of your misconceptions and shed some light to what the military community really is like.

Here are 6 things that the general population needs to know about military families.

We get along with practically everyone.

I’ve heard around that military members tend to discriminate, but I think it’s a pretty big misconception. The military puts together all kinds of people from all different kinds of backgrounds to be brothers and sisters in arms. Despite the conflicts and challenges that our service members endure, they are very loyal to each other and their community. I believe this loyalty extends to everyone in their communities, military or not.

We aren’t nuts.

Military families tend to be patriotic because of the pride we have for our service members. I consider my husband my hero and I’m sure I speak for thousands of other military spouses when I say that. But, sometimes, our patriotic nature might be taken out of proportion and become another misconception. Just because I’m so proud of all the sacrifices that all our military members endure doesn’t mean I’m pro-war, if you know what I mean!

We don’t always live on base or post.

It is safe to say that a lot of us live inside an installation or in on-base/post housing, due to convenience and sometimes cost of living, but it isn’t for everyone. The misconception is that ALL military families keep to themselves and live away from the civilian population. On the contrary, there are a lot of military families living in civilian neighborhoods with lots of spouses working in civilian communities too.

We value our community on and off base or post.

Another misconception is that we tend to be loyal just to the military installation or military community. It happens that we relate to other military families because of the circumstances that we face, but that doesn’t mean that we don’t appreciate the community around us. I live off-post with my husband and have embraced the town we live in and take part by shopping locally and engaging in the community.

We are SO thankful for everything.

The misconception of military families being rich, needy or demanding is something I see from some mainstream media outlets. There are stories out there that we benefit a great deal financially from the military and other discounts…uh, I don’t even know where to begin with that. First thing, that misconception is the one I hope civilians understand as wrong. Facts and figures have been misconstrued and calculated in unusual ways to make it seem like we are gaining a lot monetarily. We’re not.

I wish I could do more for every business, organization and whoever else that has extended a helping hand to my family. I hope that they know their charity is being appreciated very much!

We are like any other family.

In this last misconception, big or small, military families are exactly the same as civilian families by being completely unique and different from one another, but still in the same boat.

I am truly convinced if you lined all of us up in a room (sans service member because, let’s face it, the haircut might give it away), a layperson would not be able to pick out the military family from the civilian family. With that being said, we all come from the same planet, so please don’t be afraid of us. Military families really want to fit in!

Which misconceptions have you heard about military families? Have you heard  anything that was absolutely false?

When Unexpected Military Duty Cancels Your Date Night

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Let me set the stage.

It’s date night. You and your spouse made amazing plans for a night on the town or a relaxing evening in with a delicious dinner on the table. As you’re getting ready and preparing for your wonderful date night, the phone rings. Your spouse answers it and he gives you “the look.”

If you’ve been married to a military member long enough, you know what “the look” means. It means that they have unwelcomed and unplanned news to share. It might also mean they have to cut date night short and go.

Whether you’re celebrating a special occasion or it’s a “just because” date night, when duty calls for your service member, you realize that their military job takes precedence.

Even though you know that his military duty outweighs your date night, it’s still difficult to brush off the disappointment. For me, the disappointment doesn’t settle in until they walk out the door. My hearts sinks after the hug and door closes in front of me. Then, cue the violins.

Despite feeling extremely bummed about the situation, military spouses need to stay positive and move forward. It’s scientifically proven that maintaining a positive attitude is an overall benefit to our health, so keeping your head high and spirits up! It will all work out and you’ll be better for it in the end.

Feeling Disappointed that His Military Duty Canceled Your Date Night?

Here are 5 tips for ways to stay positive and reduce your disappointment.

When Unexpected Military Duty Cancels Your Date Night

Even though you know that his military duty outweighs your date night, it’s still difficult to brush off the disappointment.

1. Full steam ahead on your plans: If you had dinner reservations or wanted to see a movie, still go out and do it! You’d be surprised how much fun it can be to enjoy the company of strangers or be on your own for once. I used to have so much anxiety being by myself (even when I was living on my own, I had roommates that I went out with!), but I realized that the same excitement can be had with the same plans you made with your spouse.

2. Or call a pal: It is natural to think of a close friend when you feel bummed about your date night getting canceled. Why not give your friend a ring to see if they are open for the evening or weekend? So what if you have a romantic date planned? I’m almost positive that you will appreciate the time you’re sharing with a friend.

3. Take me time: I hardly ever get the opportunity to pamper myself! So, I particularly go out of my way to squeeze in a mani-pedi if my husband has to run out the door for a military assignment. For the late evenings, I’ll run a warm bath. When I was new at our current duty station, I utilized our time apart to dine at nice restaurants with a book to read alone. Honestly, solo dining was scary at first, especially in a brand-new location, but it was actually peaceful to sit there and enjoy a meal alone.

4. Adopt a new skill or start an activity: I have a special hobby that I partake in when my husband has to go away. During our time together, I collect mementos from our adventures. From park maps to concert programs, I keep all the loose items in a box. When he goes away, I break it open and piece together our duty station scrapbook. It gives me the opportunity to reflect on all the fun things we’ve done and keeps my mind occupied on happy thoughts.

Related: 9 Low-Cost Date Night Activities to Ignite Your Love

If you’re a reader, you can spend time re-reading your favorite book or watch your all-time favorite movie, again. There are so many different things you can do that fills time and are easy to pick up at any moment.

5. Practice positive mantras: I find comfort in keeping my mind as ease and understand that I should expect the unexpected with military life. It was difficult to let go, especially when I was used to being in complete control. Life should be enjoyed at every possible moment and remember your spouse isn’t at fault for their departure. There are so many mantras out there! Find one that spurs positive thoughts for you and practice saying it.

What tips do you have for handling the disappointment when your service member cancels your date night plans?

End of the Deployment? 5 Tips for a Military Homecoming

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Even though you never thought the day would come, the end of the deployment is almost here. Your spouse is coming home and it is time to prepare for his or her homecoming.

You know there is a lot you need to do, but how do you get started? What if you miss something? Everything is going to be OK, I promise.

5 Tips for a Military Homecoming

What advice would you give to military spouses preparing for a homecoming?   Photo credit: Michaela Stuart Photography

Here are 5 things to think about when getting ready for a military homecoming.

1. Find an Welcome Home Outfit. You want to look good when your spouse sees you for the first time after months apart. Picking an outfit has always been one of my favorite things to do. Depending on the season, I have worn anything from a summer dress to a nice sweater and jeans. You want to be comfortable but it can be a lot of fun to pick out something new and a little more fancy than you would be used to. If you have friends who are also getting ready for homecoming, you can all shop together.

2. The Kids. If you have children you need to decide if you are going to have them at the homecoming with you. Keep in mind that you will be waiting for a few hours and if the flight gets in at 2 a.m. having someone come over to your house to watch the kids while they sleep might be a good idea. You could also have a night with your spouse before he or she sees your kids if you have a good babysitter to watch them. Every homecoming we have been to has had an area for the kids to play, which is nice and can keep them occupied during the wait.

5 Tips for a Military Homecoming

How do you prepare your kids for a military homecoming? Photo credit: Michaela Stuart Photography

3. Make Signs. Holding a sign when you see your spouse coming off the plane or into the building is a lot of fun. The FRGs I have been in usually have a day to get together and make signs. You can also make them at home with your kids or even have one made.

4. Clean the House and Car. You will want to spend some time getting the house and car cleaned. If it’s in your budget you can hire someone to clean the carpets too. Try not to stress about how clean the house is. Your spouse will be fine if your house does not pass the white glove test. However, coming home to a clean house when you have been away for a while is a great feeling so I always try to do a deep clean before my husband gets home.

5. Relax and Remember. It can be easy to lose your cool during this time. The weeks before homecoming can be very stressful. Remember that times and dates can change. They can do so by the hour, the day or even the week. I have heard of soldiers being delayed by 2 weeks or even longer. Try to stay calm and take everything day by day. Remember to relax when you can and still stay busy until the end. The last week will drag by and you might go crazy if you don’t have anything to do while you wait.

Homecoming can be one of the best days of your life. Try to remember that the details will all work out, no matter how crazy it gets. Prepare yourself for changes and look forward to good times together again.

What advice would you give to military spouses preparing for a homecoming?

 

Understanding Common Military Phrases

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At a young age, I was exposed to military lingo. When I would ask my dad if a friend could spend the night, he would answer “negative” for no. When my mom would request a task from my dad, he would reply, I got your 6. All. My. Life.

Even with early conditioning as a child, I have scratched my head here and there because the military culture, just like with any culture, has evolved since my dad’s time in service. Plus, I’ve come to realize that each branch has their own interpretation too. I still had a lot to learn.

Recently, I sat down with my husband and went over all the expressions and sayings that I’ve heard my dad and him say time and time again. With his help on clarifying the sometimes not so obvious, we’ve come up with our list of the most commonly used military phrases below.

Common Military Phrases Your Service Member Uses at Work and May Use at Home

Roger: Yes

Got Your 6: Got your back

Rack: Bed

Rack Time: Sleep

Civies: Civilian clothes

Camies: Uniform

Cover: Hat

Unsat: Unsatisfactory

Boot: New military member

Battle Rattle: Wearing all your combat gear

Downgrade: Drop your jackets

High and Tight: Expression for a military type haircut, where hair is extremely short on the sides and a patch of slightly longer hair at the top

Good Idea Fairy: Somebody that comes up ideas that lead to extra work

Joes: Generalizing military members, shortened from G.I. Joe

Command/Big Boy Voice: Speaking up and authoritative

Ground Pounder: Infantry service member

Geardo: Buys and wears more tactical equipment than they need

High Speed: Someone that performs well

Ate-Up: Someone not doing a good job, not within regulation

Household 6: Spouse, my husband says, commander of the household

Bird: Aircraft, spoken about helicopter

Helo: Particularly helicopter

Liberty/Leave: Time off

Moon Beam: Flashlight

Head: Toilet

Hit the Head: Go to the bathroom

Klicks: Kilometers

Beat Your Face: Push-ups

Back on the Block: Civilian life

Zero Dark Thirty: Really, really early in the morning, pretty much still dark outside

Aye, Aye: Heard and understood

Bag Nasty: Take out food given in chow halls or foreign areas

Galley: Kitchen

Drive On: Keep doing what you’re doing

Soup Sandwich: Could be a person that does something wrong or a situation

Bravo Zulu: Good Job

Hooah/Oorah: Exclamation, typically used to acknowledge a message

This list only touches on a handful of common military slang phrases and words. It obviously isn’t the comprehensive list! There are tons more out there and lots that are also specific to military branch.

Which military slang words would you add to this list?

National Professional Licenses Would Help Working Military Spouses

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You graduated from college and got your teaching license in one state and then the military moved you to another. You want to work but you can’t. Your professional license isn’t valid in your new home state. What a frustrating situation to be in. You are trying to support your spouse and your country and you can’t even work because of a state license, a professional license that you worked hard to earn.

National Professional Licenses Would Help Working Military Spouses

How much money have you spent transferring your professional license?

Sound familiar? There are several careers that military spouses have worked hard to have but they have to give up their job because of state licensing. The process to get a new license can be complicated as well as cost you time and money.

Some states allow out-of-state licenses, others do not. The regulations can be really random and there is no national standard. This isn’t only an issue for military spouses. Civilians move to a new state for their spouses’ jobs too and run into this same type of problem.

So what is the answer? Have you faced this state licensing problem as a military spouse?

It would be great if there was a nationwide license transfer standard. Where it wouldn’t matter where you got your license and where you live in the United States because you could simply transfer your professional license without a lot of issues. Doing this would allow you to find a job in your field without having to worry that you don’t have the right license. This change would make life a lot easier for military spouses who want to further their careers.

The good news is that there is a group trying to make this happen.

The Third Way is a D.C.-based Think Tank working toward an “Interstate Teaching Application.”

Each state would evaluate the person as well as their credentials. Those working as nurses, lawyers and other professions would be able to benefit from something like this too.

I know if I worked hard to get a license and start my career in one state, I would really like to continue to practice my field in another state no matter where the military might send us.

Related: 5 College Degrees Leading to Portable Careers

Life can be hard for military spouses when your career has to be put on hold. Not all spouses want to be a stay-at-home mom. There are so many spouses out there that want to continue working and can’t because of situations like this. It would be better for everyone if something could change to make it possible to easily transfer a professional license.

These changes would also encourage those who are in school or thinking about going to college to pursue one of these careers. They can continue their future careers more easily when the PCS comes. I know if I was debating a certain program, I would want to know that I could continue that career into the future, wherever we might go and whatever state the military might send us.

What do you think? Should professional licenses for nurses, teachers and lawyers be accepted nationwide?

Daddy Deploys, Grandma Moves in

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Your husband just got deployment orders and you are wondering how you are going to get through the next year alone.

Then you remember something your mother-in-law told you. She would move in if you ever need extra help with your kids. You think long and hard about it and decide that having her move in while your spouse is deployed is a smart thing to do.

Sound familiar?

Daddy Deploys, Grandma Moves in During a Deployment

Having someone move in with you might be the best way for you to get through the deployment.

Sometimes this is what a military spouse has to do in order to get through the deployment. She has to ask her mom or her mother-in-law to move in for an extended period of time.

In order for this to work one would have to be able to live with that person. If you just don’t get along in general, having them move in is probably not a good idea.

When my husband was deployed the first time I knew that I would probably have to give birth to my second little boy by myself. I decided to see if my own mom could live with us for 2 months. She wasn’t there the whole deployment but she sure did help during the 2 months she was with us. Since I also had a two-year-old she was able to be there for him in ways that I couldn’t. This was especially helpful after I had my baby so I could focus more on the baby knowing that my 2-year-old was in good hands.

Related: Moving in with Your Parents during a Deployment

I have also known a few spouses that did have a mom or their mother-in-law move in during the whole deployment. They knew their limits and they had circumstances that allowed this to happen. The grandma was able to come and stay for an extended period of time even though she left behind her everyday life at home.

Daddy Deploys, Grandma Moves in During a Deployment

Has your mother or mother-in-law lived with you during a deployment?

If you are facing a deployment and are considering asking a family member to move in during the time your spouse will be away, make sure you really think about all the details.

Here are a few questions to consider before grandma moves in:

  • Will you be able to live with this person each and every day? Living together for months is different then a 2-week visit.
  • Are they willing to give up their lives back home for you? Will they miss other family members too much? Will they have to quit their job?
  • Can you talk openly about budgets and expectations? How often will you need them to help with the kids? What chores would you like them to do? Will you need them to help buy groceries?

There are so many benefits to having a family member move in. You can live with another adult, have help with the children and can stay in your own home verses moving somewhere during the deployment.

Really think about what would work best for you and go from there. Having someone move in with you might really be the best way for you to get through the deployment.

If your mom or mother-in-law wants to move in, it is also OK to say no to that proposal if you don’t think the arrangement would be a good idea. Talk things out with them to figure out what would work best for you and your family.

Has your mother or mother-in-law lived with you during a deployment? Would you recommend it?