mandatory fun

I Give Up on a DIY Military Ball Look

09/24/2018 By Meg Flanagan

My hair was an absolute rat’s nest. I’d tried and failed, at no less than five different hairstyles. My locks had been straightened, curled and twisted to the breaking point.

It was also about 10 minutes before I needed to walk out the door for a military birthday ball.

From curly, poofy styles to sleek chignons, I’ve rocked a wide variety of hairdos over the years. My makeup has always been on-point. Across continents, climates and through late-stage pregnancies, I have successfully DIYed my military ball glamour. This year, I give up.

That’s how my friend found me. Standing in my Spanx and strapless bra, hair fried to a crisp, no makeup and a curling iron in each hand, I had tears running down my face. I also needed to breastfeed the baby.

You could say I was in a bit of a crisis.

Why I Have to Give Up on a DIY Military Ball Look

For the last decade, I’ve been a DIY military ball queen. I don’t make my own dress. That’s a bridge too far even for me. But I certainly do my own hair and makeup.

It’s been a smashing success, filled with lots of bobby pins and hairspray.

From curly, poofy styles to sleek chignons, I’ve rocked a wide variety of hairdos over the years. My makeup, while minimalist, has always been on-point, too. Across continents, climates and through late-stage pregnancies, I have successfully DIYed my military ball glamour.

This year, I give up.

I am finding other ways to look my best on military ball night.

It is not worth the amount of stress that I put myself through. Even the years that have turned out well were stressful. There is always the moment of panic. Suddenly, I’ll look in the mirror and realize that the ‘do I was trying for is miserably failing.

Or I notice, on my way out the door, that my eyeliner is really noticeably crooked.

Who could forget the year that I thought I left the curling iron on? I blame pregnancy brain for that one though.

Getting ready on the day of the military ball was much simpler before children were involved.

I could leisurely shower and shave in the hours before go-time. Lotion? Sure! It’ll have time to dry while I browse my shoe collection. Hair could be done again and again, maybe even totally shampooed for a freshly washed look.

With kids? I’m lucky to grab a 10-minute shower. Then, I’m feeding the baby some yogurt while answering the preschooler’s never-ending questions about life and attempting to apply foundation.

Oh, in the middle of all of that, I’ve also hunted down my husband’s extra stiff neck collar thingy and his cufflinks. They were exactly where he left them after the last military ball.

There simply isn’t the time for me to do my own hair or makeup in a way that approaches presentable. If I attempted it this year, I might wind up with the 4-year-old special: a bunch of pigtails, some random bows and lots of blue eyeshadow.

I’m dropping cash on one fancy night out.

In my world, this is the major date night event. We’ve got the sitter, glamorous outfits and we just might splurge on a taxi. This year might be crazy – we’ll get a hotel room for a truly immersive ball experience.

All of that costs cash.

It’s also only one night a year and I’m going to live it up. For my family, adding the cost of professional hair or makeup is not a budget buster. The cost of dry cleaning his dress blues to destroy lingering cigar odors will be pricey than my trip to the hair stylist.

While the military birthday ball is totally his night, it’s also my night on the town too. I want to look and feel good. I don’t want to find dried baby food in my hair.

Being able to spend some time getting my hair done also means that we won’t be rushing out of the house at the last minute. I won’t be hastily trying to shove my hair into a giant sock bun with 30 seconds to go. No more lipstick applications in the car either.

Maybe this year, I’ll be able to eat a little something before we go. Perhaps I’ll remember to sneak a few packs of fruit snacks into my clutch too. Those guest speaker comments can be rather long-winded and I’m used to eating at 5:30 pm.

Saving the money by doing my own hair and makeup isn’t worth the stress and aggravation anymore. Maybe it would be a different story if my hair was easy to work with or I was less picky. But it’s not and I’m not.

I refuse to be crying in my Spanx 5 minutes before we need to leave for the military birthday ball again.

After she finished laughing, my friend revealed that she was also not ready to go. We managed to pull our hair back into big buns and slapped on some mascara. Luckily, my tears had only managed to give me a dewy fresh glow and not puffy red eyes.

Once we slid into the car, we both solemnly swore that 2017 was the very last time that we would ever attempt to DIY hair and makeup for the ball.

From now on, at least one thing is going to be handled by a professional.

Really, it’s for our mental health. And so that our husbands will stop their anxious pacing and watch checking.

Do you get your hair done professionally or do you DIY before a military ball?

4 Military Phrases That Sound Strange When Military Spouses Say Them

08/06/2018 By Michelle Volkmann

by Amanda Marksmeier

Spend just a few minutes at any military base and you will discover an entirely new language full of odd phrases and acronyms. While terms like PCS, LES and BAH are imperative to a military spouse’s survival, there are some terms that sound quite strange coming from military spouses’ mouths.

4 Common Military Phrases That Sound Strange When Military Spouses Say Them

Hooah and Oorah

“Hooah” is widely used in the Army and Air Force as the standard answer to any question.

“Oorah!” is the Marines’ version.

The military thrives on discipline and obedience so no matter how the service member really wants to respond to “You have extra duty this weekend” they are expected to answer with an enthusiastic “Hooah” or “Oorah.”

We, as military spouses, should shy away from using these terms. Think about it. When your spouse comes home with deployment news, are you really excited about it? Would you reply, “That’s great news, I am so happy to hear it!”?

“Hooah” and “Oorah” doesn’t accurately communicate the authentic feelings of a military spouse.

Latrine and The Head

The military uses both terms to refer to the restroom. I don’t know about you, but when I hear someone say latrine it evokes images of dirty port-o-johns and dingy yellow titled rooms, with blinking fluorescent lights and urinals troughs.

The oasis you created in your home to resemble a quiet spa-like retreat with fluffy white mats, calming pale blue walls and a lavender Scentsy burning should never be referred to as a latrine. Isn’t powder room a much better description?

4 Military Phrases That Sound Strange When Military Spouses Say Them

What are some military terms you have heard military spouses use? Do you think it sounds strange when a military spouse says these words?

Buck Up

Buck up is used to inspire troops to embrace the suck and push through. When military spouses use this phrase, it is usually done in a sarcastic “Buck Up buttercup” kind of way.

Your spouse is gone for a week and missing your anniversary. Buck up buttercup! PCSing to a less than desirable place? Buck up buttercup!

I admit I have been guilty of this. I sometimes forget how difficult it can be as a new military spouse. It might be our seventh deployment or fifth PCS in four years, but it is someone’s first. Just because I have learned to accept the ups and downs of the military life, I must remember many spouses struggle with finding acceptance and balance in a difficult situation.

Instead of telling our fellow spouses to “buck up” we should be asking how they are and remind them to stay strong.

Deployments, Rotations and TDY

We have all heard a new spouse say, “My spouse is on deployment to Germany.” While we suppress an eye roll, we often forget we probably didn’t know the correct terms when we started out.

A deployment is defined as the movement of troops to a place or position for military action. Deployments are usually three, six or nine months long but can vary depending on assignment and branch. These movements take place in combat zones such as Iraq or Afghanistan.

Related: 5 ‘In Uniform’ Rules All Military Spouses Should Know

A rotation is when a military unit relives another unit in a non-combat environment such as Kuwait or Korea for a fixed amount of time anywhere from nine to twelve months.

A TDY (Temporary Duty Assignment) refers to a service member who is on assignment at a location other than his or her permanent duty station. TDYs can take place stateside or overseas and is usually for no more than 139 days.

Here are four military terms and phrases military spouses should be using.

Mandatory Fun

Mandatory fun refers to a company or unit sponsored event which service members are required to attend. These events can be organizational days which include football, fishing or another group activity, so there is fun to be had.

After attending our first unit organizational day, I adopted this term and use it every time we go out as a family. When given the choice to participate in a family outing, my kids usually say no. I have a teenager who has a very active social life and an eleven-year-old that we have to pry the game controller from his hands just to eat.

I no longer give them a choice; I give them a command.

You will come, you will have fun and you will enjoy time with your family. That’s an order!

Voluntold

This term gives the illusion that it is optional, however, we all know it really means you have been selected to volunteer for a task.

In a perfect world, my kids would volunteer to take out the trash or mow the lawn, but just like most of you, I don’t live in a perfect world. So, voluntold is how most things get done in our house.

Got Your Six

On the face of a clock, the number six is directly under or behind the twelve. In the military when someone says “Got your six,” it means “I’ve got your back.” In a combat situation “got your six” literally means “I’ve got you covered, I will look out for you and protect you.”

Related: 16 Money Terms Every MilSo Should Know

This is a great phrase to use as a military spouse. It is so important that we all have our fellow spouses’ backs.

Household 6

The 6 refers to the commander in charge, so Household 6 is a joking way to say commander in charge of the household. As military spouses most of us are responsible for the household.

We know where everything is (my husband still has no idea where anything is in our kitchen). We keep up with the kids’ schedules and pay bills in addition to having careers of our own, so of course we are the commanders of the household.

What are some common military terms you have heard military spouses use?

Amanda Marksmeier is an Army wife and mother of four. She works as an employment specialist assisting the military community in achieving their career goals. Amanda is also a contributing writer for a quarterly employment journal and has written for several military affiliated blogs.

How I Find the Fun in Mandatory Fun

10/28/2017 By Kimber Green

There are so many wonderful aspects of military life, but for some mandatory fun is not one of them.

Mandatory fun or required attendance at military social events is not always fun.

Some events are a bit stuffy and too formal. Some are too crowded and impersonal. Others are family oriented or for adults only. They don’t always fit in with your schedule and logistics can be difficult. Still, you are required to attend and so you do.

These mandatory fun events can actually be fun.

It’s all in how you perceive it. If you go in with the mindset that you won’t enjoy it, then you likely won’t have a good time.

Next time you have mandatory fun scheduled, try to have fun. Look for the positive in what otherwise could be a time where you are negative.

Formal military events, for example, are not my favorite.

A military ball is definitely mandatory fun in my book. I don’t like all the preparation it takes. Service members have it so easy; all they have to do is put on their uniform.

I, on the other hand, have to go dress shopping because of course you can’t wear the same formal gown to multiple events. Then you have to find shoes and a handbag to go with the dress. Shopping takes all day.

Add kids into the mix and you either have to drag them along shopping or get someone to watch them. On the day of the formal event it takes ages to get ready.

Mandatory military social events can be stressful, boring and time consuming. But try to find the positive in every event that you are required to attend with your service member. It may help make mandatory fun more fun for you.

Once at this mandatory fun, you mingle with people you don’t know. You listen to the service members talk about work using all sorts of acronyms. How are there so many acronyms in the military? I have no idea or at least a minimal idea of what they are talking about. It is always shop talk.

Though preparing for this mandatory fun is no fun at all, the events usually are. I get to talk to military spouses that I otherwise might not see. I meet some people my husband works with and put a face to names I’ve only heard.

If nothing else, there’s usually wine.

Military family events can be time consuming.

You might have had other plans for the weekend but had to cancel them because this was a mandatory fun event. If your children are in sports, scouts or other organized groups, you might be driving between events. It can be a hectic day. Children will likely get overstimulated and over tired. There might be a meltdown or two as well.

Family events are more mandatory fun for my husband then for me though. He doesn’t like giving up his free time to see people that he works with all week long. I understand that.

For me however, this is fun. I don’t get to see those people or their families as much. These types of events can be stressful with logistics and behavior, but they can also be fun. I love to see my babies dressed up with the theme of the event. I like to bake so potluck events are great.

Sure we’ll be very tired at the end of the day, but it’s worth it.

Mandatory fun can be fun if you look at the bright side of it.

Holiday parties are another instance of mandatory fun that really can be fun. The bright side for me is that I get to see the look on my son’s face when he meets Santa or the Easter Bunny.

That’s priceless.

I get overwhelmed when there are a ton of children running around and our son follows in, but these events are few and far between so I can handle it as long as there’s a coffee in my hand.