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What the Military Community Wants from Washington

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Dear Washington,

Election season has passed, and a new administration is getting ready to take office. That means it’s time for you to take stock of our military capabilities, troops and their families. Yes, the U.S. military is a huge organization and encompasses so much.

However, please take a minute to listen to us, to me, to find out what we want and need from you, right now and for the next 4 or so years.

First, take a hard look at the budget.

Actually look at it with a critical, non-partisan eye. Is there a place where we could trim a little bit of fat without reducing force readiness and family support?

We know that this department has become a huge and growing part of the annual budget. And we also know that something probably needs to change. Please try to do this judiciously, cutting or reducing funding for the (many) redundant portions of the budget while preserving those parts that serve a major purpose in our lives.

We don’t want military funding at the expense of other services we depend on, like education and other programs that serve the general population.

We use these, too. We want them funded and functional.

Next, we need more than lip service about your support.

It’s all well and good to “support the troops” in your speeches and press conferences, but will you actually follow through? A great first step is making sure that our equipment is funded for proper maintenance. With this, include money for adequate training on the equipment. If you want troops ready at a moment’s notice, then they need to be able to access perfectly running equipment AND know how to use it.

Cutting corners here can lead to deadly accidents.

Our fighting force is now a family. That means spouses and kids who depend on the military for both financial and lifestyle stability. If you cut programs that help support military families, you will quickly draw our ire and disdain. This includes medical care, employment programs, child care facilities, commissaries and family readiness programs.

If you want the troops to be ready to go, the whole family needs to be prepared and supported. When those on the homefront feel unstable, that deployed service member can’t do his or her job well.

Don’t forget the veterans, either.

For years now, we have watched the endless saga of corruption and mismanagement at the Department of Veterans Affairs. Hospitals and VA health care facilities have endless waits, leaving many in the lurch. These waits have added extra stress to those suffering from mental and physical health conditions.

Take this department to task and shape it up. Get rid of practices or personnel that are costing lives every day and streamline the process to receive care.

Veterans wrote a blank check to our nation and were willing to sacrifice their very lives to protect ours. The very least we owe them is top-notch medical and mental health care when they leave service.

Help us connect with the other 99%.

About 1% of our country serves in the military. That leaves most Americans without a connection to our troops and their families.

In years past, the entire country banded together to support our troops through war bonds, rations and taxes. Right now, it seems that most Americans just don’t understand what it means to serve our country. Help us to show everyone else what it means to live this life.

Highlight our sacrifices, beyond just the feel-good stories about homecomings and the devastating stories of loss. Help people understand that we have been at war for over 15 years. This war isn’t funding itself.

Pay us what we are worth.

Have you checked on the salaries for our service members from top to bottom lately? Without the “luxuries” of the commissary and military health care, many families wouldn’t be making it financially. Even with these benefits, there are too many military families who qualify for WIC, welfare programs and food stamps. That’s unacceptable.

In addition, due to operational tempo and frequent moves, many military families are trying to make it on just one salary.

Pay our troops what they are worth, based on the work that they do for our country. And pay them without factoring in the “benefits” we all count on just to make it from payday to payday.

These are just a few thoughts, Washington. If you need more ideas, just ask.

MilitaryShoppers readers, what do you want from Washington?

Why I Think Military Wives Are More Likely to Binge Drink

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Almost every military spouse I know indulges in wine, beer or liquor. Sometimes all 3. And we drink on the regular.

So the study from the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) isn’t really a shock. SAMHSA found military wives are more likely to use and abuse alcohol than civilians. We’re only talking about wives because there were not a significant number of males who responded to the study.

The study found that 67.8% of responding military wives, ages 18-49, had used alcohol within a 30-day window. Among same age civilian women, 53.8% reported using alcohol. Military wives also tend to binge drink at higher rates than civilians, 31.5% compared to 22.7%.

The same study found that rates for illegal drug use were about the same for military wives and civilians, 12.8% compared to 12.9%. Military wives are less likely than civilians to use marijuana, 5.1% of military wives versus 8% of civilians.

The rates of drinking and drug use aren’t super surprising.

Our troops can’t use illegal drugs or even medical marijuana without risking their careers. Having a spouse that uses is not going to be looked on favorably. Especially since it’s been drilled into us that “our behavior reflects on our service member.” That’s for better or worse taken very seriously!

Drinking is an outlet for many service members and their spouses. It’s a way that we can unwind and escape reality for a little while. It’s almost taken for granted that booze is going to be consumed at military social gatherings. I don’t mean a six-pack either. We’re talking a keg.

For those who ARE taken back by these statistics, keep some things in mind.

We have been at war since 2001. That’s 15 straight years of combat deployments, extended overseas tours and knocks on the door. Put yourself in our collective shoes and try it on for size. Just for a day or a week.

You’re home, alone or with your children, and your spouse is a world away. You know he’s taking fire and if he’s not then someone else is engaged in battle. There is very little contact and every day brings news that another service member has been KIA. That next knock on the door could be at your house. Or your best friend’s house. Or someone in your neighborhood. It could be anyone and it’s going to be someone.

This is the reality that many military wives have been living for a decade and a half. We’ve been doing this back-to-back-to-back. And moving all over the globe, far from our own families and homes. Can I pour you a drink?

The operational tempo has impacted our mental health.

About 10% more military wives (29.1%) report mental health concerns than civilians (19.7%). No, there is no “official” correlation (yet) from the scientists who study these things. This is what I know.

It’s what I understand after moving 4 times in 8 years.

It’s how I felt during and after his year-long combat deployment.

What I know from having 2 children without my mother to lean on.

It’s what saying goodbye to countless friends does to a person.

It’s the experience of working so hard for a career or an education, just to have it yanked away because your husband got new orders or is deploying again.

Military life is not for the faint of heart and even the strongest of us can bend and break under the constant pressure.

It’s so easy to slip into a pattern of having a glass of wine at night, just to unwind or destress or relax. After a day of barely holding it together, it feels nice to have the world get a little fuzzy and rosé colored.

We are tightly wound.

So when we DO get the chance to let our hair down, it’s going to be epic. That means bar hopping, shots or even just one glass of wine too many. Our spouses are under a lot of pressure too. Plus, many units and bases have a culture of drinking, hard.

There are so many events that make drinking easier or even seemingly “required.” Birthday balls, homecomings, hail and farewell ceremonies, retirements, promotions and even just a neighborhood barbecue are all great excuses to drink. After all, it’s a party, right?

Alcohol is one of the leading ways that people self-medicate to deal with depression, anxiety or countless other mental health conditions.

So, a good time brings an excuse to let loose and to hide the way many military wives truly feel. For many of us, that good time comes with every girls night out, dinner with friends or Tuesday afternoon playdate.

We are young adults.

The SAMHSA study found that there were more military wives in the 18-25 age group than among most married women, ages 18-49. When many of our peers are off at college, we’re holding down on the homefront and managing a household. Having both done full-time college and run a household at a very young age, I can tell you that being an adult is harder than taking most college classes. There is no appealing the grade when you overdraw your checking account and can’t pay the electricity bill.

For many of us in the 18-25 age range, this is our first time away from home and cohabitating with another adult. We are young, immature in every sense of the word and still figuring it out. When you add in the other factors of stress, deployment and moving away from a support system, it’s no wonder that many young military wives drink.

Actually, college students drink heavily, too. And they are in that same 18-25 age bracket. Maybe the drinking isn’t quite so “shocking” when it’s framed that way instead.

Here’s take-away: military spouses drink and have mental health concerns, but we don’t do drugs.

It’s your turn: why do you think military wives are more likely to drink than their civilian counterparts?

Obesity Rates Among the Ranks Climb to Nearly 8 Percent

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Close your eyes. Picture an average service member.

Their uniform is probably some version of digital camouflage. Their hair is cut short or pulled up above the collar. In your mind’s eye, they snap to attention and present a sharp salute. They are fit, ready and prepared to deploy at a moment’s notice. This is the soldier, sailor, airman or Marine we picture.

But recent information put out by the Defense Health Board suggests a growing percentage of our military ranks aren’t as fit and prepared to fight as we might think.

In fact, nearly 1 in 13 service members could be classified as clinically obese.

Top officials don’t seem particularly worried about present-day readiness, but it’s hard to imagine that a continued upward trend in obesity wouldn’t impact future readiness. As such, top Pentagon officials are working diligently to re-evaluate how services evaluate fitness.

But the real question is how did we get here? How have obesity rates in the military climbed to nearly 8 percent, more than twice what it was 5 years ago?

Pointing the Finger Would Be Easy

Rising obesity rates would be an easy mystery to solve if the same problem wasn’t also plaguing the civilian sector.

We could demonize all of the video game-loving millennials and accuse them of weight-gaining laziness.

We could point our fingers at unit-sponsored potlucks and bake sales.

Or we could vilify the chow hall and demand they stop selling hamburgers and french fries.

But the truth is, while all of these things are factors, the true culprit lies in America’s relationship with food.

America: The Land of Cheap and Plenty

We live in the land of cheap and plenty.

Big portions are like victory banners shouting our triumph over food shortages faced by those who lived through the Great Depression.

We live our lives on an advertising battlefield, hunted by big name food manufacturers and distributors out to improve their bottom line. They offer us the flame-broiled burgers, a bucket of soda and a big slice of American apple pie, all for $5 or less. They play into our self-realized weaknesses and pitch low-calorie, nonfat chocolate bars and cheese-covered baked potato crisps.

Our children (and future service members) are inundated with sugary cereal commercials and foods that are more toys than they are nutrition.

Even the fittest among us are targets for sugar-laced energy drinks and high-calorie protein packs. We have entire TV networks dedicated to decadent foods. We aren’t just in love with food, as a country, we are completely OBSESSED.

How We Got Here Is No Great Mystery

With nearly 2 in every 3 Americans classified as overweight or obese, the perpetual battle of the bulge has been a slow, simmering conflict in our country for the past half century. It is a battle that has made the real-life and devastating effects of heart disease and diabetes commonplace.

Given that the volunteers for our Armed Forces are pulled from our population at large, that they have learned to eat in a surreal world of corn, wheat and soybean subsidies, is it any surprise that this issue made its way into the ranks?

How we got here is common knowledge: lack of exercise, too much stress and highly-processed, highly-addictive foods.

We expect our service members to be a breed apart, to set the standard, to walk the fine line and stand at the ready to defend our nation. And yet, they must feed themselves from the same collective American table, so to speak.

When was the last time you saw a commercial for fruit that wasn’t tied to a bottle of juice?

Where is the Hollywood hunk giving face time to a head of broccoli?

Better yet, when was the last time you or anyone you know took a nutrition class?

Certainly service members are exposed to some kind of nutritional training, but a 2-hour session can hardly undo the programming instilled by a childhood of bad-eating habits.

I am sure that the DoD will take steps to make sure those currently serving better understand the implications of a poor diet. We may see it reflected in the commercial food services offered on post. We may even see food addiction treated in the same manner as drug or alcohol abuse.

But in truth, this will only be a stop-gap for those already in uniform.

If we want to see obesity rates decline, both in our neighborhoods and our military services, we have to reinvent our relationship with food. If we don’t, the consequences to our nation, our military and our waistlines will only continue to grow.

What actions do you think DoD should take to help service members who are overweight?

Should Military Spouses Tag Along on TDYs?

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After 18 years as a military spouse, I’ve lived through my share of service-connected separations. Be it multi-month deployments or weeks-long TDYs, separations are a part of military life.

Some military spouses, especially those new to this lifestyle, often struggle with the idea of separation, even for a short period of time.

And while deployments don’t allow military spouses to visit troops in country, many spouses do make the decision to follow their service member while they are on temporary duty.

I certainly appreciate the desire to be near your spouse, especially when a separation comes after basic training or in conjunction with a PCS to a new duty station.

Should Military Spouses Tag Along on TDYs?

Few military spouses have the luxury of packing a bag and hitting the road. If you plan to follow your service member on temporary duty, you’ll need lots of lead time to prepare.

But before you pack a bag and make a long-term hotel reservation, here are a few things to consider.

Your Service Member’s Free Time May Be Limited

A TDY typically involves some kind of training or special mission requirements. As such, a service member’s free time may be limited or they might be restricted to the duty station or facility. They may also work odd hours or have homework that limits the amount of free time they have outside of work.

So what does that mean? You might find yourself sitting in a hotel room in a town you’ve never been to before with no spouse to keep you company and zero support network.

If you are prepared for the possibility of spending a lot of time alone, make sure you have something to focus your time and energy on in between the sporadic visits from your spouse. You may want to take an online class, write a book or volunteer for a local nonprofit organization.

Planning Ahead Is a Must

Few of us have the luxury of packing a bag and hitting the road. If you plan on following your service member on temporary duty, you’ll need lots of lead time to prepare.

If the TDY is in conjunction with a PCS, you may need to give notice to terminate a lease and schedule a household goods pack-out.

Reservations at many hotels around busy military installations may be limited or long-term stays and temporary or short-term rental properties may not always be available. If you have pets, availability may be limited even further.

It is tempting to throw caution to the wind and figure it out as you go. But consider the extra strain and stress on a service member if you are unable to secure living arrangements.

Training and focusing on the mission becomes infinitely harder if you are worried about your spouse sleeping in your car.

If you make the decision to accompany your spouse, don’t leave the planning to the last minute. Plan to have a conversation about expectations. Try to talk to other service members about services and facilities available for a short-term relocation. Have a plan B in the event that a 3-week course suddenly becomes 6 weeks.

TDY Life May Be Costly

Perhaps the biggest consideration for a short-term relocation for military spouses is budget. Can you afford to quit your job or take a leave of absence, for the duration of the TDY?

Don’t forget that you may find additional costs associated with living out of your suitcase. If your living arrangements don’t include a kitchen or a washer and dryer, make sure you include those costs into your monthly budget.

The seasoned spouse in me wants to tell my fellow military spouses contemplating one of these temporary relocations to reconsider.

That the potential strain to relationships and budgets aren’t worth the occasional opportunity to see your spouse. That being alone in a new place without the benefit of a unit to turn to in times of need is time better spent in a familiar place or with family.

But instead, I will simply say this — Military life affords us ample opportunities for adventure and promises countless nights will be spent counting down to a reunion.

Separations are never easy, but we can and do learn to persevere through them. We must each make decisions about what is best for us and our families. If you decide this kind of move is right for you, be smart about your reasons and be fair in your expectations.

Have you ever moved to a location temporarily while your service member was conducting training or a short assignment there?

Why a Surprise Military Homecoming Is an Awful Idea

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Deployment is almost over! The countdown is only a few weeks, days or hours. I am ready. Kind of.

I still need to clean the house, corral the kids, hose off the pets and pick out a stunning outfit for the BIG DAY.

Except now, here he is. The house is dirty. The kids are running amok. The dog just got skunked and I’m wearing sweats. I am so not ready for this military homecoming!

My worst nightmare is a surprise military homecoming.

Maybe because I’m an ultra Type-A planner who likes to be moderately in control at most times. To me a surprise military homecoming just seems like a bad idea.

First, the whole surprise thing. It’s a random time of day and the doorbell rings. There’s a person wearing some sort of uniform standing at my front door. For me, it would be heart-stopping shock. Not joy, shock about the potential despair that might be coming. All because there is a uniformed person on my doorstep, without warning.

Part of deployment is the mental prep and gamification of it. The countdown is front and center on the fridge. In my mind, I’m ready for X day. With a surprise military homecoming, the spouse or family might not be mentally ready.

Why a Surprise Military Homecoming Is an Awful Idea

A military homecoming doesn’t need to be a surprise to be special for your family.

Along with the mental prep work to welcome a service member home, comes some deep selfishness.

We have been apart for goodness knows how long, and my bed has been empty. The children have not seen their father in forever it seems. And we need that moment of just us-ness.

But a surprise military homecoming takes away that intimacy. They take away the “us-ness” of the moment by bringing other people into the mix.

It’s sheer logistics. Someone else will see him first, be next to him first, drive him first and arrange his first food.

Call me selfish, but the only humans I want to share those firsts with are my children. The deployment has been a build-up to the moment my spouse steps off the bus, plane or out of formation. I need the closure of that very first kiss.

Beyond just the “first” moments, let’s talk about the whole planning aspect of these surprise military homecoming shenanigans.

The service member has to contact someone at home to arrange everything. Someone has to be there to get her. She has to have food and something to drink, plus provide a change of clothes. The props have to be set up in advance, ready to go. Plus, someone has to move the spouse and kids into the correct position at the proper time.

That is a LOT of work. Chances are that the TV crew members don’t help out every person who wants to pull off one of these surprise military homecomings.

Last, but not least, let’s talk about the lies involved with a surprise military homecoming.

The building blocks of marriage are truth and trust.

After months apart, the service member has decided to keep a HUGE secret from his or her spouse: the time and date of return. Not only has she just not mentioned it, the service member has also likely actively engaged in deception to conceal the return window.

Reintegration following deployments is challenging enough without starting off with a giant lie. Failing to be truthful about when you are returning can be extremely hurtful.

Not to mention, the weeks leading up to reunions are unbelievably busy: cleaning, haircuts, notes to school, arranging child care, more cleaning, meal prep and getting children ready to be back in a 2-parent household again.

Just showing up can put a seriously huge (but happy) wrench into a lot of this prep time. Plus, there might be last-minute “distraction” adventures that families have planned to just get through the final few weeks or days.

I know I hit Disneyland an awful lot the month that a year-long deployment was winding down. What if my husband had picked a spontaneous Disney day to “surprise” me? He’d have been locked out while I rode Space Mountain, that’s what.

So, by all means, go right ahead and do your supposed to be fun and emotional surprise military homecoming stuff.

But please, before you get deep into plans, remember that not everyone likes surprises. Some families on the homefront need the non-surprise reunion to wrap their brains around the whole situation.

Trust me, even without the surprise aspect, every military homecoming is full of love.

Now it’s your turn: How do you feel about a surprise military homecoming?

What You Need to Know About the VLER Health Information Exchange Initiative

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The Virtual Lifetime Electronic Record (VLER) Health Information Exchange Initiative was formed following President Barack Obama’s remarks on April 9, 2009. The focus of his speech was to outline improvements to the health care system for veterans.

At the time, there wasn’t a system in place that connected a service member’s record from the Department of Defense (DoD) to the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) for treatment and care. However, during the President’s remarks, he called out the DoD and VA because they,

“have taken a first step towards creating one unified lifetime electronic health record for members of our armed services that will contain their administrative and medical information – from the day they first enlist to the day that they are laid to rest.”

Now, the VLER Health Information Exchange is currently in use for veterans.

Veterans can have their comprehensive medical record all in one place, so VA health facilities and participating health care providers are able to access applicable medical histories.

What Veterans Need to Know About the VLER Health Information Exchange Initative

Have you heard about the VLER Health Information Exchange? What questions or concerns do you have about it?

I was recently chatting with a nurse friend about the VLER Health Information Exchange. The concept is great and really does allow for a streamlined approach for both veterans and health care providers as long as health care providers are privy to the system. She was telling me there is a disconnect with Military Treatment Facilities (MTF) and the VA.

For example, if a veteran wants to seek treatment at a military hospital, he or she still may need to carry all of their documents to show their medical history from the VA to the MTF. Currently, the systems aren’t “connected” per se. The disconnect could lead to delays in treatment and lost messaging.

That will change on June 1, 2016, when the VLER Health Information Exchange will expand to the Tricare network.

The overall goal is to connect the health care providers that serve military members and their families to their medical record, including lab results, allergies, medications and illness. It would take away the need to carry paper records when you visit a health clinic.

After it was explained to me by my friend, I thought of it as a bridge system that carries accurate information to the appropriate health care provider. Whether you are being treated at a VA facility for one ailment or getting a general check-up at a MTF, your doctors are on the same page to make the smartest diagnosis and care.

Tricare released a handy video that also explains the VLER Health Information Exchange and what it means to military members. The key takeaways from the VLER Health Information Exchange video is that the system is secure, efficient and effective.

It’s secure because only authorized health care providers can access the information. Tricare lists the providers that can see your record as military hospitals and clinics, VA facilities and civilian groups that are part of the eHealth Exchange. From the site, “the eHealth Exchange is a network of exchange partners who securely share clinical information across the United States.”

Efficiency comes into play because the VLER Health Information Exchange would avoid any cross duplication of tests and/or procedures already done for a patient. Because it is a comprehensive health record of an individual, the health care team can assess your current situation to give you appropriate treatment, which highlights effectiveness.

Of course, veterans and family members could opt out of the system. It’s not required to participate, but that would mean none of your medical history will be on the VLER Health Information Exchange. Currently, active duty members must be a part of the program.

Take a look at Tricare’s VLER Health Information Exchange resource site to read more about the initiative to see if it’s something you would want to use or if you would rather opt out of it.

Do you have any questions about the VLER Health Information Exchange? Share them in the comments section.

What’s Wrong with Military Service as a Family Business?

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Government officials are worried that the military is not diversified enough. A recent report showed that the majority of service members are part of what they call the family business, meaning military service runs in the family.

A surprising 80 percent of recent troops “come from a family where at least one parent, grandparent, aunt or uncle, sibling or cousin has also worn their nation’s uniform. More than 25% have a parent who has served,” according to a Pentagon report of 2012-2013 recruits.

Military service is a wonderful and proud tradition within many families.

What problem could the government possibly have with military service legacy?

Members of the Senate Armed Services Committee subcommittee discussed this topic recently in length. They are worried that the pool of service members is not as diversified as it could be.

When America had the draft, the military was made up of a more diverse population. At the height of the Vietnam War there were 3.5 million troops. They came for all walks of life, had different religious beliefs, different levels of education, different ideals and different backgrounds.

Now the military has closer to 1.4 million service members. The number of men and women entering the military is shrinking and so is the diversity within it.

If the military continues to mainly be made up of those in the family business, the military will continue to shrink and so will its diversity, or so the government thinks.

The pool of potential recruits is dwindling, which is going to force the Pentagon to think outside the family on ways to recruit new troops.

Lt. Commander Nate Christensen is the spokesperson for the Chief of Naval Personnel. He said the reason behind their worry is

We believe that this limits both the talent pool from which the Navy draws, as well as the diversity of background in our force, and ultimately could lead to a civil-military divide.

The Navy has a long tradition of sailors in the family business as 82 percent of them come from families with other service members.

The Air Force has an even greater number of families with multiple service members.

Eighty-six percent of current airmen have close relatives that have served in the military. The Army and Marines also have large numbers, 79 percent and 77 percent, of those in the family business.

Why do so many people decide to follow in the military service footsteps of their family members?

People make choices based on the life they have led and the people they have grown up with. Service members are likely to influence their family members to either join or not to join the military. Many that do join the military also enter the same branch of service that their family members were in. Fifty-nine percent of Army recruits come from a family that has close relatives in the Army.

The traditional make-up of the military no longer stands however. What was once mostly middle- and working-class men is now diversified with women in many of the positions.

There has been a large influx of women entering the military in the last few years as well. With the military opening doors to careers in fields women were not eligible to go into previously, the trend is set to continue. The military overall is shrinking, but in the last decade, the number of women joining the military has increased.

The government can’t afford to simply count on those entering the family business to keep the military strong. They’re going to have to start thinking outside the norm and recruit fresh blood, so to speak.

There are so many opportunities available in this age that the younger generation is not enlisting at the rate of previous years. The Pentagon is going to have to find a new incentive to get talented people to join the military.

In doing so, however, I hope that they don’t diminish the pride service members feel in continuing a family tradition. The term “family business” is being turned into a negative, when in fact it is a wonderful thing. I come from a family with a long line of service members and I married a sailor. I don’t know if our son will grow up and join the military, but I will be proud to have him in the family business, if he decides to.

What do you think of the statement that “military is a family business?”

How to Be Vigilant Without Being Fearful of a Terrorist Attack

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A recent New York Times and CBS News poll shows that Americans fear that a terrorist attack is eminent more so now than at any time since September 11, 2001. In a poll taken December 4-8, 2015, a staggering 79% of respondents said they fear that a terrorist attack will occur in the next few months.

It’s hard not to be fearful when you turn on the TV and see recent terrorist attacks such as those in Paris and San Bernardino, Calif. Change the channel and you’ll find experts saying the threat level is high and recommending citizens be vigilant in everyday outings.

How can the average American be vigilant without being fearful?

I had a friend recently tell me that she was sitting in the food court with her children when the thought occurred to her that a terrorist attack could happen. She immediately started looking for possible escape routes, just in case. She became so overwhelmed with fear that she rushed the kids out. There wasn’t a terrorist threat there; it was all in her head. The fear of terrorism has become crippling for some people and is disrupting their routines.

How to Be Vigilant Without Being Fearful of a Terrorist Attack

The No. 1 thing to do is to be aware of your surroundings.

As I sit here sipping on my coffee and writing, I am reminded of a recent bomb threat on Camp Lejeune. The caller said there was a bomb at Starbucks and Dunkin Donuts. That threat was later determined to be unsubstantiated, but if I were the fearful type, I might question my safety here now. I don’t, though. I feel safe in my environment.

I consider myself someone who is vigilant. It isn’t something on the forefront of my mind that makes me worry or panic. I simply notice exits when entering a building, I park in well lit areas, walk out with people, have my keys ready before I head to my car, keep my head up and aware of my surroundings, turn lights on at home at night and set the alarm. These aren’t things I do in fear of a terrorist attack; they were just everyday precautions my father instilled in me when I was younger.

The No. 1 thing to do is to be aware of your surroundings. Put your phone down and pay attention to what’s going on around you. A key phrase that is widely being said of late is “if you see something, say something.” A neighbor of those responsible for the terrorist attack in San Bernardino, Calif., said she questioned if she should call the authorities earlier in the year because of their suspicious behavior, but feared that she would be labeled a racist. If that neighbor had spoken up earlier, maybe the events of that tragic day could have been altered. We’ll never know though.

Fear is widely spreading throughout the United States. You can’t let it dictate your life though. Take some time out of your busy schedule and just think about what you would do in a terrorist attack. Having a plan of action ahead of time, just in case, could turn an awful situation into possibly a survivable one. Read about how to survive a terrorist attack and think about how you would handle the situation. Would you run, hide or attack? Those are the three options most experts will say you have when it comes to these situations.

If at all possible, run as fast as you can to get as far away from the situation as you can. If there is an active shooter, run in a zigzag motion. It is much harder to hit a moving target, especially when the direction of movement changes rapidly.

If you can’t run, hide. Try to hide behind something bullet-proof or something thick. If you’re in a small room, turn off the light, lock the door, if possible and push something heavy in front of the door. Sit quietly and silence your phone. Terrorists try to inflict as much damage as possible in a short amount of time. They look for easy targets and are more likely to move on than struggle to get the door open.

Your last resort in a terrorist attack may be to fight. If you’re in an open area with nowhere to go and nowhere to hide, you might be left with the option to fight or die. Try to arm yourself, if possible. Anything can be a weapon. One teacher in Alabama recently sent home letters recommending children bring a canned good to school to throw at an attacker. It sounds ridiculous, but it shows that anything can be a weapon.

Remember, the goal of a terrorist attack is to spread fear and disrupt daily life through panic and instability. Be vigilant, be aware of your surroundings, but live your life.

Are you fearful of another terrorist attack? How do you balance valid concerns with irrational fear?

Can a Spouse Harm Her Service Member’s Career?

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As a military spouse and civilian, you may not feel like your actions can affect your husband’s career, but they can and do.

Racking up financial debt, breaking the law, having questionable habits and acting inappropriately can all strip your spouse of their security clearance and prevent them from promotion, moving to desirable duty stations and more.

Think that sounds far-fetched or embellished? Think again.

Each month the Defense Office of Hearings & Appeals (DOHA) releases the results of security clearance rejection hearings and appeals. Each case appealed is described in detail and many of the security clearance withdrawals are listed as due to the service member’s negligence with respect to the actions of their military spouse.

How can a military spouse cause a service member to lose security clearance?

When the government issues a security clearance they are giving that person access to classified information. While it is only granted to the individual, it is a process that includes the military spouse. Their information is included on background investigation paperwork and they can be interviewed. Their actions reflect the service member’s judgment.

Can a Military Spouse Harm Her Service Member's Career?

Can you cause your service member to lose his security clearance?

For example, one case in which a security clearance was denied was when a military spouse racked up $50,000 in consumer debt. The judge specifically said that allowing his wife to “manage all finances was an example of poor judgment, and not the level of responsibility expected of a clearance holder.”

It isn’t just poor financial management by a military spouse that can get a service member in trouble. Your career field and poor habits can also lead to a clearance being revoked.

Another case involved a military spouse working at a recreational marijuana store in Denver, where it is legal to use such substance. Federal law overrules state law in this case, however. Marijuana is still considered a controlled substance and knowing of intentional possession is illegal even if the person has no plan to use or sell it.

In the eyes of the federal government, your (the service member’s) ability to maintain a relationship of trust, understanding and integrity with your spouse is a reflection of your ability to do so with Uncle Sam.

If a service member’s security clearance is pulled it can change their career path. They could be taken off of their team and placed on administrative leave or simply moved to another position. This setback could also prevent them from getting orders to desirable duty stations or even from rising in rank.

If nothing else, it will at least land them in a counseling meeting with a superior which could be a written counseling. A written counseling can take away points from promotion or rank a service member further down in the line-up for promotion.

There are other actions that a military spouse could take that would harm their service member’s career. While it isn’t suppose to influence duty assignments or promotion, a military spouse’s actions in reality can hinder the service member from receiving ideal duty stations or moving up in rank because after all, superiors are human and will remember how a service member’s military spouse has acted, if it is poorly.

Constantly harassing the command to send home a service member from deployment or showing up at the installation with gossip and being a distraction can make a difference. A service member is required to follow the chain of command and if a military spouse talks to a higher ranking person about problems this could reflect poorly upon the service member.

Having an affair with another service member in your spouse’s unit, will make a difference as well. This also falls under the domain of integrity. If the family lives on an installation and the military spouse doesn’t follow the rules of housing, they may be removed from the living situation. Having base privileges revoked will also look poorly upon the service member.

Can a Military Spouse Harm Her Service Member's Career?

What do you think? Does a military spouse’s behavior on or off base affect her service member’s career?

On the flip side, being part of the Family Readiness Group (FRG) might help. If the commanding officer really feels like the military spouse has had a substantially positive impact on the morale of families they may want to keep the service member around and look more favorably upon them. The opposite could be true as well.

Doing nothing at all, not being part of command events for example, most likely will have no influence on your spouse’s career.

If you want to see your service member succeed, obey the law, manage your family’s finances sufficiently, keep your morals in check and help out where you can. The one consistency with the military is that everything and anything can change at any time. Go with the flow and be a positive role model to other military spouses.

What do you think? Does a military spouse’s behavior on or off base affect her service member’s career?

Why the Breastfeeding Soldiers Photo Went Viral

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Military culture is changing a little bit every day. The military is no longer a man’s world. Military culture unites women and men, gay and straight under the same oath to serve the United States of America.

A recent photo that went viral on social media illustrates those changes in military culture. The photo, taken by former airman and military spouse, Tara Ruby, shows 10 female soldiers breastfeeding their babies in uniform at Fort Bliss, Texas. Ruby, who normally takes family portraits, said “her aim for the photo was to normalize breastfeeding in the military” and she planned to donate the photo to a new nursing room at Fort Bliss.

When she posted the breastfeeding soldiers photo on her Facebook page, she had no idea how popular it would become.

Ruby’s breastfeeding soldiers photo went viral when it rack up 2.5 million views on her Facebook page.

But why? Why did this photo go viral? Why did a photo of breastfeeding soldiers become a source of discussion on CNN and Fox News?

Here are the 3 reasons why I think that breastfeeding soldiers photo went viral:

3 Reasons Why the Breastfeeding Soldiers Photo Went Viral

Why do you think a breastfeeding soldiers photo went viral?

National Movement to Normalize Breastfeeding

There are many organizations working to normalize breastfeeding. These organizations encourage mothers to post photos of themselves breastfeeding their children with the hashtag #normalizebreastfeeding on social media. When Ruby posted her photo, she used that hashtag and I think that contributed to its popularity. Individuals who support breastfeeding are looking for that hashtag and ways to show their support on social media.

Movement to Normalize Female Service Members

While there’s a central and concentrated effort to normalize breastfeeding and support mothers who choose to breastfeed, there isn’t the same direct public relations campaign to showcase women in the military.

But it’s there.

There is a grassroots movement, especially among women like Ruby who are former active duty, to show that women can be soldiers, wives, and mothers all at the same time.

“Breastfeeding their babies doesn’t make them less of a soldier, I believe it makes them a better one. Juggling the tasks and expectations of a soldier, plus providing for their own in the best way they possibly can, makes (these) ladies even stronger for it,” Ruby told CNN.

Ruby said on Facebook that she thinks this is the first group photo to show support of active-duty military mommies nursing their babies.

One interesting aspect of this photo is the female service member’s eyes. They aren’t looking at the camera. They are looking into the eyes of their babies.

Civilians Are Intrigued with Military Life

As less and less people serve in the Armed Forces, more and more people know very little about military life. Their knowledge of the military comes from the media and let’s face, there aren’t any military movies showing a female soldier as the protagonist. Wait, correction. There’s one. G.I. Jane.

Therefore, when something like this photo hits Facebook, civilians are intrigued. They post comments on Facebook saying things like “soldiers can’t breastfeed in uniform!” when in fact they can or “oh boy, I bet the Army won’t like this” when the photographer worked with public affairs officer specifically for this photo shoot. Remember the Ruby’s intent was to donate this photo to hang in the nursing room at the Fort Bliss headquarters building.

Civilians don’t expect to see mothers as soldiers simply because they don’t see it in the movies.

In contrast, today’s service members aren’t surprised by this photo because they know that female soldiers pump breastmilk and deliver it to their babies at the child development centers. They know that female Marines return to work 6 weeks after giving birth. They know that female airman work with their supervisors to ensure that they are given an empty office in order to pump during working hours. They know mothers are soldiers, sailors, Marines and airmen.

Now it’s your turn: Why do you think this breastfeeding soldiers photo went viral?