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Do Military Wives Feel Threatened by Female Service Members?

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I recently read an open letter from a military spouse. In this open letter this military wife unleashes all of her emotions about how she feels about women who serve in the military, how she thinks female service members feel about military wives and how these two group treat each other.

She clearly feels threatened by female service members and blames men for making her feel that way.

Do Military Wives Feel Threatened by Female Service Members?

I do not feel threatened by female service members. I’m impressed by them.

That’s what her letter comes down to or that’s what I’ve taken away from the read.

Initially I didn’t want to read the entire article, which is not like me at all. The executive editor pleaded with the readers in her foreword to read all the way to the end though, so I did.

The beginning mostly sounds like the whiny rant of a young military spouse.

That’s why I didn’t want to read further, but I did and I thought about what she said.

I Don’t Feel Threatened by Anyone

I certainly don’t feel threatened by anyone. Why would I?

Apparently, there are military wives that do or this letter wouldn’t have been written. I have been part of military life my entire life. Both of my parents were in the Army and my husband is in the Navy.

My husband does not serve on a ship. He serves in a small community that’s different from fleet Navy. There are a small number of female service members in this field. I do not feel threatened by them.

I’m impressed by them. Being a service member is a really tough job. It’s especially hard for a female. I think it’s amazing that these women are physically able to do the things that are required by this job.

I Feel Like Fighting on Behalf of Female Service Members

It takes an emotionally strong woman to be in a male-dominated field.

I hear what some of the men say about the female service members.

They don’t think they belong in the military.

They think they aren’t good enough.

And no matter how hard they work they won’t cut it in their minds.

Unlike the author of that open letter who wants to soak up every bit of that kind of conversation, I feel like fighting on behalf of the female service member.

The Relationship Between Military Wives and Female Service Members Is Complicated

I mentioned this open letter to a few military wives that have husbands serving on ships. They completely agreed with the author of that letter.

They relayed tales of male service members being kicked off ships for sleeping with female service members, of people cheating on their spouses while at sea and how female service members are a distraction to the mission.

They feel threatened by their presence.

Likewise, female service members taunt military wives for being overweight, lazy and unambitious.

They feel that military wives use their spouses’ rank to get their way.

They feel that military wives make up things to get them off ships.

It’s a pretty rough relationship between military wives and female service members.

Some of these situations are based off real events, but not all military wives fit this description and not all female service members act this way.

I’ve heard of these stereotypes but have never faced these situations, nor did I know it was such a big problem. I’m sure there are plenty more military wives and female service members that have experience with this.

Are you a military wife who feels threatened by the female service members that your husband works with? Are you a female service member who isn’t respected by your co-workers’ spouses? Share your story in the comments section.

No Fanfare for 6 Female Expert Infantryman Badge Earners

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Six female soldiers recently stood among the few who earned the right to wear the Army’s Expert Infantryman Badge.

To earn the badge, they were required to pass a grueling multi-day challenge that tested their modern-day warfighter skills. That list of skills, 30 tasks deep, included passing an Army physical fitness test with a minimum of 80 percent in each category, multiple weapons lanes, day and night land navigation, as well as proficiency in several combat lifesaver skills, chemical decontamination, and an arduous 12-mile ruck march with a 40-pound pack.

The names and units of these female soldiers were not released, and like so many other noteworthy female pioneers, they quietly took their place in the trophy halls of American feminism.

The Expert Infantryman Badge challenge, attempted by hundreds of infantry soldiers each year, remains attainable by only a small percentage. Of the 1,007 who competed in November 2017, only 289 remained standing at the end.

That women could compete and subsequently earn and wear the badge has only recently become an option. We just passed the two-year mark on the history-changing decision to allow women to serve in infantry positions.

In May 2017, the first gender-integrated infantry basic training graduated 18 female soldiers. Those soldiers now serve in one of a number of infantry units across the Army.

And while there were 6 women who earned their Expert Infantryman badges at Fort Bragg last year, they are not the first women to have charged into this challenge and passed.

In 2011, Captain Michelle Roberts, a company commander in the 2nd Battalion, 60th Infantry Regiment earned the EIB, but because she did not have an infantry MOS, was not authorized to wear the badge.

Additionally, 2 female soldiers from the South Korean army passed the EIB challenge in 2014. And since the South Korean army has allowed women to serve in infantry positions since the 1990s, their achievement is proudly displayed on their uniforms.

No Fanfare for 6 Female Expert Infantryman Badge Earners

Why do you think there wasn’t any fanfare for these women who earned the Expert Infantryman Badge?

There wasn’t much fanfare in the announcement of these new awardees, which gave me pause to wonder why.

Was it because these 6 women feared the inevitable backlash that always seems to ensue when a woman manages to crash through a glass ceiling or wall that protects the mighty accomplishments previously achieved only by men?

Peruse any article touting female soldier accomplishments and the comments are a mix of cheering and ridicule, celebration and suspicion. Accusations of “lowered standards” permeate the rhetoric of those still convinced there is no room in today’s Army for female infantry soldiers.

A quick review of the latest guidance issued by the Army regarding the required standards for the Expert Infantryman Badge offers only one area in which there could be any perceived difference of standards and that’s the APFT.

Participants are required to pass their APFT with a minimum score of 80 in each of the 3 events – 2-mile run, sit ups, and push-ups. Current Army standards do present a difference in the number of sit ups and push-ups, and the time requirements based on gender. However, there is not one standard for males, either, as the APFT also makes allowances for age.

Perhaps it was the choice of these new female EIB awardees to avoid the PR and countless media interviews.

Maybe they are part of the significant number of female service members who are tired of standing out simply because of their gender.

Maybe they believe we have finally reached a point where female soldiers have done enough that their successes no longer need be celebrated as firsts.

Instead, maybe these 6 women simply want to put on their boots, show up and excel at their jobs. Something female soldiers have been doing every day for years.

Why do you think there wasn’t any fanfare for these women who earned the Expert Infantryman Badge?

Why New Regulations Won’t Solve the Marines United Problem

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Each of the Armed Services has passed down guidance intended to set expectations for dealing with the kind of despicable behavior brought to light in the Marines United Facebook group scandal.

Why New Regulations Won't Solve the Marines United Problem

Female service members have been secretly fighting to protect themselves from a “boys will be boys” culture for almost 80 years.

But if history is any indication, it’s hard to be convinced it will change a single thing. Regulations already in place should make eliminating this kind of behavior from the ranks easy and yet here we are.

Or should I say, here we are again.

Sadly, the deep-rooted culture of denigrating and disrespecting women who serve hasn’t changed much since women first answered the call to arms.

A  History of Public Humiliation

In 1943 a “slander campaign” sought to undermine the value and service of the Women’s Army Auxillary Corp. It whispered of pregnancy issues and venereal diseases. The campaign impacted recruitment efforts at a time when women’s service was greatly needed. Investigators initially thought the campaign was a form of enemy propaganda, but in the end, it was the actions of high-ranking military officers who believed women had no place in the military.

Fast forward 50 years and the weekend-long Tailhook Naval Conference left 87 women and 7 men sexually assaulted. After an initial cover-up, it took a single victim’s willingness to sacrifice her career and take her story to the press to get the Navy to stop making excuses and start taking action.

Female service members have been fighting to protect our country while secretly fighting to protect themselves from a “boys will be boys” and “locker room talk” culture for almost 80 years.

80 years.

The first service regulations that specifically targeted sexual harassment in the military weren’t even introduced until 1980, nearly 4 decades after women had become fully integrated into the U.S. military.

A Culture of Statistics

In 2014, a survey of female veterans from the Vietnam era to present showed that as many as a quarter of military women have been sexually assaulted and 80% sexually harassed. Another report in 2011 offered this staggering statistic:

“Women in the U.S. military are more likely to be raped by fellow soldiers than they are to be killed in combat.”

Ironically, when women report such crimes and demand the respect they’ve rightfully earned, it is used as an excuse to call them weak and accuse them of distracting their unit from its mission. A 2014 DoD survey found that in the previous year alone, “62% of active service members who reported sexual assault had experienced retaliation, including professional, social and administrative actions or punishments.”

This is the culture female service members face. It is a culture that continues to tell them that their service and their sacrifice is somehow less. That their personal safety isn’t found in trusting the soldier to their right and left, but instead must be found in tolerating illegal and immoral behaviors and staying quiet. It is a culture that demands they give their all and punishes them when their male counterparts decide they don’t like the competition.

Top-Down Change Won’t Work

Regulations and laws currently in place allow for the prosecution of service members involved in the latest scandal, who undoubtedly understood that their behavior was illegal and reprehensible and hence kept it secret and hidden from public view.

Some found safety in their fake-account anonymity; others in the sheer number of other group members who engaged in the same behavior. Sure, the group and the folder full of stolen images have disappeared, but investigators believe the group and its content will congregate and materialize under a new name on a new site. And while there are a few examples of service members suffering the consequences of such actions, there is a staggeringly number of cases where the behavior is dismissed or ignored.

I wish I felt that this renewed awareness would change things. That somehow those who still believe that “hotties don’t belong in the military” would hear the words of their leadership and change.

But the truth is, they haven’t listened in the last 40 years and I doubt they will start now.

This kind of change can’t come from the top down. It must be a grassroots effort within the military community.

The Facebook group in question was 30,000 members strong and it’s unlikely that these members’ attitudes about female service members weren’t apparent to those who knew them in real life. How many of them have been called out, not just by their chain of command, but by their fellow service members or veterans?

If you look at a service member and see gender before the uniform, you’re part of the problem.

If you think the women who were victimized in this case were responsible in any way for what happened to them, you are part of the problem.

If you hear the jokes and innuendo and laugh or ignore it, you are part of the problem.

But if you are willing to call it out, if you are willing to start changing the way you think about this issues, you can be part of the solution.

The question is, will you?

What are your feeling about the Marines United Facebook group photo scandal? Share them in the comments section.

Why the Breastfeeding Soldiers Photo Went Viral

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Military culture is changing a little bit every day. The military is no longer a man’s world. Military culture unites women and men, gay and straight under the same oath to serve the United States of America.

A recent photo that went viral on social media illustrates those changes in military culture. The photo, taken by former airman and military spouse, Tara Ruby, shows 10 female soldiers breastfeeding their babies in uniform at Fort Bliss, Texas. Ruby, who normally takes family portraits, said “her aim for the photo was to normalize breastfeeding in the military” and she planned to donate the photo to a new nursing room at Fort Bliss.

When she posted the breastfeeding soldiers photo on her Facebook page, she had no idea how popular it would become.

Ruby’s breastfeeding soldiers photo went viral when it rack up 2.5 million views on her Facebook page.

But why? Why did this photo go viral? Why did a photo of breastfeeding soldiers become a source of discussion on CNN and Fox News?

Here are the 3 reasons why I think that breastfeeding soldiers photo went viral:

3 Reasons Why the Breastfeeding Soldiers Photo Went Viral

Why do you think a breastfeeding soldiers photo went viral?

National Movement to Normalize Breastfeeding

There are many organizations working to normalize breastfeeding. These organizations encourage mothers to post photos of themselves breastfeeding their children with the hashtag #normalizebreastfeeding on social media. When Ruby posted her photo, she used that hashtag and I think that contributed to its popularity. Individuals who support breastfeeding are looking for that hashtag and ways to show their support on social media.

Movement to Normalize Female Service Members

While there’s a central and concentrated effort to normalize breastfeeding and support mothers who choose to breastfeed, there isn’t the same direct public relations campaign to showcase women in the military.

But it’s there.

There is a grassroots movement, especially among women like Ruby who are former active duty, to show that women can be soldiers, wives, and mothers all at the same time.

“Breastfeeding their babies doesn’t make them less of a soldier, I believe it makes them a better one. Juggling the tasks and expectations of a soldier, plus providing for their own in the best way they possibly can, makes (these) ladies even stronger for it,” Ruby told CNN.

Ruby said on Facebook that she thinks this is the first group photo to show support of active-duty military mommies nursing their babies.

One interesting aspect of this photo is the female service member’s eyes. They aren’t looking at the camera. They are looking into the eyes of their babies.

Civilians Are Intrigued with Military Life

As less and less people serve in the Armed Forces, more and more people know very little about military life. Their knowledge of the military comes from the media and let’s face, there aren’t any military movies showing a female soldier as the protagonist. Wait, correction. There’s one. G.I. Jane.

Therefore, when something like this photo hits Facebook, civilians are intrigued. They post comments on Facebook saying things like “soldiers can’t breastfeed in uniform!” when in fact they can or “oh boy, I bet the Army won’t like this” when the photographer worked with public affairs officer specifically for this photo shoot. Remember the Ruby’s intent was to donate this photo to hang in the nursing room at the Fort Bliss headquarters building.

Civilians don’t expect to see mothers as soldiers simply because they don’t see it in the movies.

In contrast, today’s service members aren’t surprised by this photo because they know that female soldiers pump breastmilk and deliver it to their babies at the child development centers. They know that female Marines return to work 6 weeks after giving birth. They know that female airman work with their supervisors to ensure that they are given an empty office in order to pump during working hours. They know mothers are soldiers, sailors, Marines and airmen.

Now it’s your turn: Why do you think this breastfeeding soldiers photo went viral?

Should Women Be Included in the Draft?

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Women are invading a man’s military, or at least that’s the perception you’ll get if you read some online comments on news articles and Facebook posts regarding DOD’s decision to allow women to serve in all combat roles.

The decision has been made: Women will be able to be Army Rangers or Navy SEALS if they can pass the same standards as their male counterparts.

Should Women Be Required to Register for the Military Draft?

Women have never been drafted in the U.S. military because they couldn’t serve in combat. Will that change in the future?

But like all great decisions in our military’s history (think President Harry Truman’s order of racial integration in the 1940s or the more recent elimination of the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy regarding homosexuality), the policy decision is only the first step. The fallout of these policies and how they will be applied are equally as historic, yet they lack headline appeal.

Let’s examine the current issue—women in the military.

Since women will soon be able to serve in all aspects of the military, is it time for women to be required to register for the draft? Is the act of requiring 18-year-old women to register with Selective Service the final step in gender integration of the U.S. military?

One New Jersey teen thinks so. A class-action lawsuit filed by a 17-year-old through her mother asserts that the Military Selective Service Act violates the civil rights of women aged 18 to 25 by making them ineligible to sign up for the draft registry.

“With both males and females available for such roles today, the two sexes are now similarly situated for draft registration purposes and there is no legitimate reason for the government to discriminate against the female class, so equal protection applies,” says the complaint, cited by Courthouse News. “Further, with both males and females available for such combat roles, there is no reasonable basis for infringing the associational interests of the female class by preventing them from registering.”

In this class-action lawsuit, the young woman reports that she tried to register for the draft on the Selective Service website, only to be rejected when she checked the “female” option. Under current law, only males are required to register for the draft.

Here’s my favorite line in the lawsuit:

If the two sexes can fight and die together, they can register together; if not, then no one should have to register.

This lawsuit isn’t the first of its kind.

In 1981, the Supreme Court reversed a U.S. District Court’s decision that the Military Selective Service Act’s gender-based discrimination violated the due process clause of the Fifth Amendment (Rostker v. Goldberg, 453 U.S. 57).

Since that decision the idea to include women in the draft has been discussed several times, but Congress hasn’t amended the Selective Service law to include women.

The reason? Because women weren’t allow to serve in combat they shouldn’t be required to register for the draft.

But that argument has been flipped on its head since former Defense Secretary Leon E. Panetta’s announcement that DOD would end the direct ground combat exclusion rule for female service members.

Should Women Be Required to Register for the Military Draft?

Is the act of requiring 18-year-old women to register with Selective Service the final step in gender integration of the U.S. military?

We know that while the United States has the ability to draft for military service, we don’t use the draft unless we have to and future presidents will be very reluctant to initiate a draft with or without women registered in it. We are proud of our all-volunteer force. But in a worst-case scenario shouldn’t we consider having women registered for the draft?

I believe this requirement will be the last step in gender integration for the U.S. military. Once women are required to register with the draft, women will finally be viewed as equals both on and off the battlefield.

Do you think women should be required to register for the draft, like men?

Female Pioneers Breaking the Military Elite Barrier, One Pushup at a Time

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Remember Shannon Faulkner? In 1995, Faulkner was the first woman to enroll at the Citadel following a federal court order. I remember Faulkner. I was a high school student at the time and I closely followed her court case. Even though I personally had no intention of attending a military academy or enlisting in the military, I cheered on Faulkner and her right to try. Her right to follow her dream. Her right to prove herself against the male students.

Twenty years later, I find myself again cheering on those female pioneers in the military. The ones who are working to break gender barriers to prove that they are tough enough, strong enough and smart enough to call themselves Army Rangers.

Should women be able to be Army Rangers?

What do you think of women serving as Army Rangers?

Media outlets, from NPR to Fox News, have been closely following 60 women who volunteered and were allowed to participate in the two-week-long Ranger Training Assessment Course (RTAC) that ended on Jan. 31. This first class was aimed at making the training standard for females. And I’m a big believer in that.

Let’s not sell women short by adopting lower standards to earn the Ranger tab. Every single Ranger should be able to meet the same qualifications.

Out of 122 soldiers who started RTAC, 48 percent passed. There were 43 male dropouts in addition to the 21 women, the Army Times reported. Five women, all officers, completed RTAC, which is considered to be a reliable litmus test for which soldiers are likely to have a chance at passing the Ranger Course.

First Females Competing to be Army Rangers

First Lt. Christel Sacco, executive officer of Company B, 1st Battalion, 61st Infantry Regiment, at Fort Jackson, S.C., is training to earn her Ranger tab.

Last December, for the first time, 3 women passed the Marine Corps’ physical test to become infantry officers. Two dozen female Marines have tried to pass the test since the course opened its doors to women in 2012. Later this year, U.S. Special Operations Command and Naval Special Warfare are expected to announce if the rank of SEAL will be available to women.

All this female integration stems from former Defense Secretary Leon Panetta’s announcement in 2012 to open combat positions to women. In 2013, he lifted the military’s exclusion on women in direct ground combat. By 2016, the military must open all combat jobs to women or ask for special exceptions.

Twenty years after Faulkner’s legal battle, I am even more emotionally attached to integrating females into all aspects of the military. Today I’m a Navy wife and I’ve seen my husband work alongside and under the outstanding leadership of women all the way up to Rear Admiral Katherine Gregory. Gregory is the first female flag officer in the Civil Engineer Corps.

I’m also the mother of 2 young girls who are constantly asking if boys are better than girls. Just last night, my daughter asked if girls can be Seabees. Of course, my husband and I reassured her. Girls can do anything that boys can do. Some day soon, they will even be able to serve as Army Rangers.

Now it’s your turn. What do you think about women serving in elite units on the frontlines?