female Marines

Do Military Wives Feel Threatened by Female Service Members?

09/21/2018 By Kimber Green

I recently read an open letter from a military spouse. In this open letter this military wife unleashes all of her emotions about how she feels about women who serve in the military, how she thinks female service members feel about military wives and how these two group treat each other.

She clearly feels threatened by female service members and blames men for making her feel that way.

Do Military Wives Feel Threatened by Female Service Members?

I do not feel threatened by female service members. I’m impressed by them.

That’s what her letter comes down to or that’s what I’ve taken away from the read.

Initially I didn’t want to read the entire article, which is not like me at all. The executive editor pleaded with the readers in her foreword to read all the way to the end though, so I did.

The beginning mostly sounds like the whiny rant of a young military spouse.

That’s why I didn’t want to read further, but I did and I thought about what she said.

I Don’t Feel Threatened by Anyone

I certainly don’t feel threatened by anyone. Why would I?

Apparently, there are military wives that do or this letter wouldn’t have been written. I have been part of military life my entire life. Both of my parents were in the Army and my husband is in the Navy.

My husband does not serve on a ship. He serves in a small community that’s different from fleet Navy. There are a small number of female service members in this field. I do not feel threatened by them.

I’m impressed by them. Being a service member is a really tough job. It’s especially hard for a female. I think it’s amazing that these women are physically able to do the things that are required by this job.

I Feel Like Fighting on Behalf of Female Service Members

It takes an emotionally strong woman to be in a male-dominated field.

I hear what some of the men say about the female service members.

They don’t think they belong in the military.

They think they aren’t good enough.

And no matter how hard they work they won’t cut it in their minds.

Unlike the author of that open letter who wants to soak up every bit of that kind of conversation, I feel like fighting on behalf of the female service member.

The Relationship Between Military Wives and Female Service Members Is Complicated

I mentioned this open letter to a few military wives that have husbands serving on ships. They completely agreed with the author of that letter.

They relayed tales of male service members being kicked off ships for sleeping with female service members, of people cheating on their spouses while at sea and how female service members are a distraction to the mission.

They feel threatened by their presence.

Likewise, female service members taunt military wives for being overweight, lazy and unambitious.

They feel that military wives use their spouses’ rank to get their way.

They feel that military wives make up things to get them off ships.

It’s a pretty rough relationship between military wives and female service members.

Some of these situations are based off real events, but not all military wives fit this description and not all female service members act this way.

I’ve heard of these stereotypes but have never faced these situations, nor did I know it was such a big problem. I’m sure there are plenty more military wives and female service members that have experience with this.

Are you a military wife who feels threatened by the female service members that your husband works with? Are you a female service member who isn’t respected by your co-workers’ spouses? Share your story in the comments section.

Why New Regulations Won’t Solve the Marines United Problem

04/05/2017 By Veronica Jorden

Each of the Armed Services has passed down guidance intended to set expectations for dealing with the kind of despicable behavior brought to light in the Marines United Facebook group scandal.

Why New Regulations Won't Solve the Marines United Problem

Female service members have been secretly fighting to protect themselves from a “boys will be boys” culture for almost 80 years.

But if history is any indication, it’s hard to be convinced it will change a single thing. Regulations already in place should make eliminating this kind of behavior from the ranks easy and yet here we are.

Or should I say, here we are again.

Sadly, the deep-rooted culture of denigrating and disrespecting women who serve hasn’t changed much since women first answered the call to arms.

A History of Public Humiliation

In 1943 a “slander campaign” sought to undermine the value and service of the Women’s Army Auxillary Corp. It whispered of pregnancy issues and venereal diseases. The campaign impacted recruitment efforts at a time when women’s service was greatly needed. Investigators initially thought the campaign was a form of enemy propaganda, but in the end, it was the actions of high-ranking military officers who believed women had no place in the military.

Fast forward 50 years and the weekend-long Tailhook Naval Conference left 87 women and 7 men sexually assaulted. After an initial cover-up, it took a single victim’s willingness to sacrifice her career and take her story to the press to get the Navy to stop making excuses and start taking action.

Female service members have been fighting to protect our country while secretly fighting to protect themselves from a “boys will be boys” and “locker room talk” culture for almost 80 years.

80 years.

The first service regulations that specifically targeted sexual harassment in the military weren’t even introduced until 1980, nearly 4 decades after women had become fully integrated into the U.S. military.

A Culture of Statistics

In 2014, a survey of female veterans from the Vietnam era to present showed that as many as a quarter of military women have been sexually assaulted and 80% sexually harassed. Another report in 2011 offered this staggering statistic:

“Women in the U.S. military are more likely to be raped by fellow soldiers than they are to be killed in combat.”

Ironically, when women report such crimes and demand the respect they’ve rightfully earned, it is used as an excuse to call them weak and accuse them of distracting their unit from its mission. A 2014 DoD survey found that in the previous year alone, “62% of active service members who reported sexual assault had experienced retaliation, including professional, social and administrative actions or punishments.”

This is the culture female service members face. It is a culture that continues to tell them that their service and their sacrifice is somehow less. That their personal safety isn’t found in trusting the soldier to their right and left, but instead must be found in tolerating illegal and immoral behaviors and staying quiet. It is a culture that demands they give their all and punishes them when their male counterparts decide they don’t like the competition.

Top-Down Change Won’t Work

Regulations and laws currently in place allow for the prosecution of service members involved in the latest scandal, who undoubtedly understood that their behavior was illegal and reprehensible and hence kept it secret and hidden from public view.

Some found safety in their fake-account anonymity; others in the sheer number of other group members who engaged in the same behavior. Sure, the group and the folder full of stolen images have disappeared, but investigators believe the group and its content will congregate and materialize under a new name on a new site. And while there are a few examples of service members suffering the consequences of such actions, there is a staggeringly number of cases where the behavior is dismissed or ignored.

I wish I felt that this renewed awareness would change things. That somehow those who still believe that “hotties don’t belong in the military” would hear the words of their leadership and change.

But the truth is, they haven’t listened in the last 40 years and I doubt they will start now.

This kind of change can’t come from the top down. It must be a grassroots effort within the military community.

The Facebook group in question was 30,000 members strong and it’s unlikely that these members’ attitudes about female service members weren’t apparent to those who knew them in real life. How many of them have been called out, not just by their chain of command, but by their fellow service members or veterans?

If you look at a service member and see gender before the uniform, you’re part of the problem.

If you think the women who were victimized in this case were responsible in any way for what happened to them, you are part of the problem.

If you hear the jokes and innuendo and laugh or ignore it, you are part of the problem.

But if you are willing to call it out, if you are willing to start changing the way you think about this issues, you can be part of the solution.

The question is, will you?

What are your feeling about the Marines United Facebook group photo scandal? Share them in the comments section.

Marine Corps Experimenting with Coed Living

06/24/2015 By Michelle Volkmann

“Did you know your husband is living with a female?”

That’s what a fellow Navy wife told me when my husband was deployed to Iraq with his Seabee battalion in 2007. When I was told that husband was living with a female sailor, I wasn’t jealous, nervous or upset. Mostly I was just confused. So I asked my husband about it. He quickly explained that yes, technically he was sharing a space with her (because they didn’t have time to build a separate room for a woman), so they put up a wall to divide the space. That reasoning made sense to me. It wasn’t the Hilton. It was a deployment.

Eight years later, I’m amazed with the number of active duty females I see on base. You can see that the military world isn’t a man’s world anymore. And as the Defense Department facilitates the transition of more females into combat roles, the logistics of a coed fighting force are being ironed out with various trials and experiments. One of those gender-integration experiments is taking place in 29 Palms, Calif.

Marine Corps Experimenting with Coed Living

What do you think of coed living for military service members?

Marines assigned to the Ground Combat Element Integrated Task Force are living side-by-side “in tents— regardless of gender— the way a future integrated unit might expect to live during field training or downrange on a deployment.” The Marines chose their tent mate; in this experiment, all the females decided to pair up with another female. There are separate shower facilities.

Related: Carter Says Women in Combat Could Be More Vulnerable to Sexual Predators

Besides completing their typical training, the Marines are also given the opportunity to give feedback about integrated unit cohesion throughout the experiment. These surveys and interviews will be analyzed and published in a study by the Center for Naval Analyses. The study will analyze the “Marines’ perception of the unit as a whole,” according to the Military Times article.

This same article said that “despite the close quarters and privacy challenges, Marines said they settled easily into the arrangement.”

“It was really strange for some people at first,” said Cpl. Kevin Rodriguez, 22, who was directly assigned to a staff position at the artillery unit in the Military Times article. “But now it’s like we’re brothers and sisters. It happened really fast; I was pretty surprised. Now we’re sleeping together on the ground, on the back of the trucks, like it’s normal.”

Normal. As DoD works to incorporate women into combat roles, that’s what we need to strive for, a sense of normalcy. We need to strive for living conditions, coed or not, that feel normal to the service members experiencing these living conditions.