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Deployment Is a Great Time for a Healthy Change

06/20/2018 By Michelle Volkmann

by Amanda Marksmeier, Guest Contributor

No one wants to get the news a loved one is deploying. While it might be tempting to press the pause button on your life, instead press the reset button.

Deployments are the perfect excuse to reset and refocus on your health.

Everyone wants to know how to make deployment go by quickly. Our instinct is to rush through unpleasant times and circumstances. Instead of looking at a deployment as something to blitz through, use deployments as a time to set and achieve personal goals.

Deployment Is a Great Time for a Healthy Change

Whether it is incorporating meatless Mondays or taking a paddleboard yoga class I thoughtfully use deployments as a way to participate in activities which will improve my life, mind and body.

Goals Keep You Focused and Achievement Keeps You Going

I will be the first to admit, setting goals can be challenging.

If your goals are too low, you will get bored.

If they are too high, you’ll get discouraged.

What do you want to accomplish while your spouse is away? Want to form better eating habits, find balance or start exercising?

Whatever you choose, commitment to it. Decide what you need to do to achieve your goals and start preparing prior to deployment. Schedule time in your calendar to focus on your goals.

Your health is just as important as FRG coffees.

Once you have established your goals, write them down. Put them in plain sight where you will see them daily. Hang your goals on your refrigerator or bathroom mirror. They will serve as a constant reminder and motivate you to keep going.

Set Realistic Goals

Saying “I want to lose 50 pounds in a month” is not only unrealistic, it is unhealthy. If your deployment goal is to lose weight talk with your health care provider and decide what is a reasonably goal.

Losing weight is like a marathon. Pace yourself and take it one day at a time.

Don’t Stay Busy, Stay Active

The thought of working out can be intimidating and exhausting, particularly if you haven’t done it in a long time. Don’t overthink it. Any movement is a step in the right direction.

If you don’t enjoy running, don’t sign up for a marathon. You’ll hate preparing for it and it will be so much easier to quit.

Find something you enjoy and start moving.

Related: How Does Tricare Work When You ‘Move Home’ for the Deployment?

Love dancing? Try a Zumba class. You can show off your mad dance skills while burning a ton of calories.

Searching for balance? Yoga can help you breathe and stretch until you find inner peace.

Frustrated over the deployment? Boxing classes are a great way to get cardio in and frustrations out.

Whatever you choose to do mark it on your calendar, invite friends to join you and get moving.

You Are Not Alone

Human beings are not meant to go through life alone. We survive and thrive in community settings.

Build a community with people who share similar interests and goals. Befriend your neighbors, parents at your child’s school or military spouses in your unit.

You will need these friendships to get through this deployment.

Be Healthy Together

Once you have established your community start scheduling healthy meals and workout dates. Find buddies who will be motivating and keep you accountable.

When we were stationed in Georgia a neighbor and dear friend used to come get me for daily walks. She didn’t give me the opportunity to say no.

Another dear friend in Tennessee would sign us up for crazy exercise classes.

I love both these women because they kept me motivated and made me accountable. I needed to be strong-armed into exercising. My friends knew this and complied.

It doesn’t matter whether you are the one motivating or the one that needs motivation, the important thing is to find accountability partners who will accomplish deployment goals with you.

Deployments can be lonely and draining especially if you only view it as a time away from your spouse. Don’t dwell on the separation.

Think of deployments as a time to focus on yourself and your goals.

If you change your focus it will change your outlook on the situation. When my husband drops the deployment news I get a bit excited thinking about the things I want to achieve while he is gone.

Whether it is incorporating meatless Mondays or taking a paddleboard yoga class I thoughtfully use this time to do activities which will improve my life, mind and body.

How will you use the next deployment to make healthy lifestyle changes?

Amanda Marksmeier is an Army wife and mother of four. She works as an employment specialist assisting the military community in achieving their career goals. Amanda is also a contributing writer for a quarterly employment journal and has written for several military affiliated blogs.

How to Get Through an Emergency While Your Spouse Is Deployed

03/13/2017 By Kimber Green

Without fail, if something is going to go wrong it will happen while your spouse is on deployment. It is the Murphy’s Law of the military and many military spouses say you haven’t been through a deployment until something has gone wrong.

How to Get Through an Emergency While Your Spouse Is Deployed

Have you handled an emergency situation while your service member was on deployment?

Here are 6 emergency situations military spouses may face during a deployment and how to get through them.

Natural Disaster

No matter where you are stationed, there is always a possibility of a natural disaster. This could include flooding, hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes, mud slides, tsunami and more.

What plans do you have in place in case of a natural disaster while your spouse is on deployment?

Before deployment, create a disaster kit together. This should include 1 gallon of water per person per day for 3 days, a 3-day supply of nonperishable food, a battery powered radio and spare batteries, flashlights, a first aid kit and cellphone chargers.

If you are required to evacuate, having a plan is extremely helpful. Before deployment, make sure your spouse provides an emergency contact list for you. This should have contact information for his or her command as well as the key spouse such as the ombudsman. Know who you should contact first in an emergency. Plan where you will go if you need to evacuate and bring your emergency contact list with you.

Fire and Loss of Home

Losing your home to a fire would be devastating.

One thing on my husband’s to-do list before deployment is to change the smoke detector batteries.

Sit down with your family and determine what you will do in case of a fire. Everyone needs to get out of the house and have a designated meeting area. Choose an area far enough away from the house, such as the mailbox or the street light across the street.

After you’ve ensured everyone is safe and have called emergency services, you will want to contact your spouse’s command. They can notify your husband or wife about the situation and provide support.

Call your family and friends to let them know you are OK and find a place for your family to go. You’ll want to contact your insurance company and have your house evaluated quickly so repairs can be made.

The Navy-Marine Corps Relief Society can help with replacing items lost to the fire as well as with grants or interest-free loans for home repairs.

Gas Leak

I had a gas leak while my husband was on deployment. If your house runs on gas make sure you have carbon monoxide detectors.

If you smell gas or your CO detectors go off, get out of the house immediately. Call 911 and the gas company.

Contact the command to let them know so they can alert your spouse as well. If you or your children feel sick at all, go to the emergency room. Gas poisoning symptoms present like the flu. You may need to find a place to stay that night as well.

Serious Illness or Pregnancy Complication

When a serious illness strikes an immediate family member during deployment, the possibility of going home to help is there. Immediate family includes:

  • father
  • mother
  • sibling
  • spouse
  • spouse’s parents
  • children

If you are having a pregnancy complication that puts your life or the child’s life in danger, you can seek help this way as well. First contact the service member’s command to let them know what is going on and ask about having your spouse sent home.

You can also contact the American Red Cross Hero Care Center either by phone at 1-877-272-7337 or online.

Serious Accident and Hospitalization

If you or your family members are in a serious accident make sure you contact the command to let them know. They will get word to the service member and he or she may be able to come home.

It is important to have a plan in place in case something happens to you. Before your spouse left for deployment, they likely made a will.

  • Do you have a living will?
  • Who will take your children immediately if you are seriously injured in an accident?

Make an appointment or stop by the legal assistance office at your military installation. They can provide a will worksheet for you to fill out to begin the process of creating a will. It answers many common questions people have about wills.

Once you have completed it, a lawyer needs to review it and make it legal. If you have children, in the will you can designate who they go to if you are unable to care for them. Before you designate a person or family, make sure you discuss it with them.

Consider who will take your children immediately if you are sent to the hospital unexpectedly. Ask a local friend if they would be willing to look after your children short term.

Death in the Family

If someone in the service member’s immediate family passes away during deployment, his or her command and the Red Cross may be able to get them home. Discuss with your spouse before deployment what your family wants to do in such a situation.

  • Will the service member be able to or want to come home for the funeral?
  • Who will take your children and how will you get to the service?

Disaster can strike at any time, but for some reason it tends to happen when a loved one is on deployment. Having a plan in place for each of these instances can save you time and grief.

Don’t wait until it’s too late.

Talk with your spouse, family and friends and determine which path you will take if an emergency arises while your spouse is on deployment.

Have you faced an emergency during a deployment? What advice would you give military spouses to help them plan for emergencies and natural disasters?

Keep Your Sanity During Solo Parenting

08/26/2015 By Kimber Green

Keeping your sanity during solo parenting can be difficult.

I’ve been part of the military life since birth, as an Army brat and later a Navy wife. I’ve witnessed years of my mom going through it with my brother and me and now as a mother myself, I’m seeing firsthand what it is like to take on solo parenting when my husband is away.

Sunday marked my second year as a parent. I’ve experienced my share of deployments, late nights when my husband is working and weeks where he’s gone for training. He was deployed for 7 months after our son was born.

Being a parent is tough work, emotionally and physically. Being a solo parent can be even harder.

6 Tips for Keeping Your Sanity During Solo Parenting

How do you keep your sanity when you’re solo parenting?

Don’t let yourself get into a state of disarray during times of solo parenting. Your spouse may be away, but family life continues. I’ve made a point to tell many military wives and friends that you can’t let this stressful time bring you down and I’ve had to remind myself of my own advice multiple times.

Take a breath and follow these tips to stay out of or get out of a solo parenting slump.

6 Tips for Keeping Your Sanity During Solo Parenting

6 Tips for Keeping Your Sanity During Solo Parenting

Solo parenting can be hard, but hopefully these tips will help ease the tension and bring back a sense of peace and self-confidence.

Make friends. Do not isolate yourself during periods of solo parenting. Deployments, TDY/TDAs, unaccompanied orders and training cycles that keep our spouses working long hours can be tough. Talking to others can really help. Make friends with your neighbors so you have someone close by. Join your command’s spouse network. Find out about the PTA at your children’s school.

Make time for yourself. Send the kids out to a sleepover. Take turns with another mom watching each other’s kids and go get a massage, shop without your children or just enjoy a coffee and muffin on your back deck. Get a babysitter and go out with friends and fellow parents. You need to talk to grown-ups, particularly if you have a baby or toddler.

Get out of your house. Get out of your pajamas, put on clothes that empower you and leave your house. Go to a movie, try a new restaurant or go for a run. Nothing gets you down more than sitting at home. Get off the couch, turn off your computer and step out your front door. There’s a whole world out there full of possibilities.

Volunteer. There’s something about helping others that truly helps you grow as a person. As a solo parent, you have a lot on your plate, but making time for others really has its own rewards. Volunteer at your church for Sunday school, serve lunch at a local soup kitchen or read the mail to an elderly person.

I’ve done this and it is a wonderful feeling to see how happy they are to have company and to receive letters knowing someone is out there thinking of them. If you just can’t find the time, clean out your closet and make a donation to your local Salvation Army. You will have helped someone in need and cleared the clutter in your house at the same time.

Exercise. If you aren’t already participating in a regular exercise regimen, start one.

You can join a gym, hire a personal trainer or take a class at the YMCA. You can just put on your walking shoes and head out the door. Exercise increases your metabolism and raises serotonin. Serotonin affects your mood (read happiness), your appetite and digestion as well as sleep patterns, memory and sexual desire.

Now who wouldn’t want all that? Motivated to exercise now?

Make time for fun. The new school year has started and there will be stress from homework and juggling after-school activities. As a solo parent, you are responsible for all of this.

Make Friday night a pizza and movie night with the kids. Take the kids bowling, have fun at your local putt putt golf or dare I say it…take your kids to Chuck E. Cheese’s.

Children experience stress during times when a parent is away too. It is important that your kids have fun and enjoy time playing. It also keeps their minds busy and away from focusing too much on the fact that a parent isn’t there.

Related: Resiliency Starts with Resources: 4 Resources for Military Kids

Solo parenting can be hard, but hopefully some of this advice will help ease the tension and bring back a sense of peace and self-confidence. Remember, you can do this. You are not alone.

Seek out help if you become overwhelmed. You are not the only military spouse who is solo parenting out there.

How do you keep your sanity when you’re solo parenting?

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