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Our Guide to Sending Care Packages to Your Service Member

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by Amanda Marksmeier, Guest Contributor

Whether you are shipping your first care package or your last it can be difficult to know what to include and what to leave out.

Items such as firearms, explosives and radioactive materials should not be included, but did you know many foreign countries ban the shipping and receiving of playing cards, used clothes and saccharine?

Our Guide to Sending Care Packages to Your Service Member

Themed care packages are all the rage. Not feeling creative? No problem, search Pinterest for military care package ideas.

Your Don’t Pack It Guide for Deployment Care Packages

Our service members deploy to countries with strict religious beliefs and rules. If you are sending care packages to countries such as Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria or any other predominately Muslim country do not pack pork products. Many people in these regions follow diets which prohibit foods made from pigs, so that means no bacon bits.

While we are on the subject of religion, anti-Muslim books, articles, and movies are strictly forbidden so don’t send them. Also, anything considered lewd or pornographic should not be included. It is important to be respectful of others’ customs and beliefs.

Cash and high-valued items should be left at home. Packages can “disappear,” be damaged or simply lost in the mail.

Pro-tip: if you can’t afford to lose it, don’t pack it!

This goes for items that hold sentimental value as well. While you may be tempted to send family heirlooms don’t, these items can’t be replaced if lost or damaged.

What You Should Send in Deployment Care Packages

Now comes the fun part, what you can include in a care package.

Non-perishable food is the No. 1 requested item. Think canned tuna, instant meals, jerky, ramen, I could go on, but you get the idea. In many cases, soldiers miss meals due to missions or the inability to make it to the DFAC. Your service member will be grateful to have a meal from home after a long day.

Care packages are a perfect excuse to print all those pictures saved in your digital cloud. Service members can hang photos in their bunk, tape them to vehicles or keep them in the pockets of their uniforms.

It’s comforting to have photos of friends and family near you on deployment.

Fragrant soaps and washes should be packed separately in plastic bags. I once sent my husband a box of soaps (not in plastic bags) packed with candies. He ended up with candies that tasted like soap!

More Care Packages Tips

Mailing packages is expensive! The U.S. Post Office offers free flat rate boxes to help with the costs. Care packages in flat rate boxes can be sent to APO/FPO/DPO at domestic shipping rates.

Save a trip to the post office by ordering your shipping supplies for free through the USPS website. Schedule a pick-up, pay for shipping and complete the customs forms all online at https://www.usps.com/ship/apo-fpo-dpo.htm.

Oh, those darn customs forms! Don’t be afraid. Custom forms aren’t as scary as they appear. All you need is your service member’s address, the list of items and an estimated value of each item in the care package.

The Click-N-Ship option on the USPS website walks through the steps to complete customs forms. Custom forms need to be completed for each package you send.

Related: Tips on Sending a Care Package to a Military Dog

Themed care packages are all the rage. Not feeling creative? No problem, borrow someone else’s ideas. Carefully crafted boxes are posted all over social media. Visit military spouse Facebook pages to ask for care package ideas. Also search Pinterest for military care packages. Have fun, be creative and think “inside” the box.

Books, movies and magazines make wonderful additions to care packages. Deployed service members work long hours in harsh conditions so when there is downtime entertainment is desperately needed.

I am sure everyone remembers the “Frozen” videos with service members belting out “Let it Go.” You know they watched the movie a dozen times to learn the song. Maybe we’ll be blessed with “This is Me” sing-a-longs in the future.

Add extra items so your service member can share with his or her battle buddies. Remember not everyone has someone to send them care packages.

The most important part of a care package is the “care” that is included. Packages remind the men and woman serving they have not been forgotten.

What questions do you have about sending care packages?

Amanda Marksmeier is an Army wife and mother of four. She works as an employment specialist assisting the military community in achieving their career goals. Amanda is also a contributing writer for a quarterly employment journal and has written for several military affiliated blogs.

4 Problems Military Children Face That Are Rarely Talked About

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Shining eyes and happy smiles. This is how the public often sees military children. These joyful homecoming images are broadcast on the news, shared on social media and printed in newspapers and magazines.

While everything seems wonderful and picture-perfect, many military children face hidden struggles behind the scenes.

4 Problems Military Children Face That Aren’t Talked About

Anxiety and Separation Fears

Over the last 15 years, deployment and operational tempos have been high. This means that for many military children, mom, dad or both parents have been frequently away from home.

Forward deployed troops have been in active combat zones, taking fire. Even at home, accidents happen during TDY, TAD or routine training exercises.

All of these separations and “what if” situations take a heavy toll on military children. Often these stressors can show up in behavioral, emotional and academic changes.

4 Problems Military Children Face That Are Rarely Talked About

While everything seems wonderful and picture-perfect, many military children face personal struggles.

Children might act out at school, home or both. They could show unusual aggression or attention-seeking behaviors. Some children withdraw or become distant from friends, teachers and family members. Still other children become noticeably upset when their parent leaves, even for short periods, or when there are unexpected changes, like a substitute teacher at school. Grades might decline too.

All of these reactions are common and can coexist.

Solutions:

If you or a teacher notices a significant difference in your child’s emotions, behaviors or academic performance, take notice. Acting sooner rather than later can make all the difference.

A great first step is to reach out to the Military Family Life Counselor on your base or the school’s counselor. Set up a meeting to share your concerns with them and give permission for them to engage with your child. After speaking with your child, they might be able to offer options for ongoing solutions or care.

Another great step is to connect with Military One Source. They offer free, confidential help on the phone and through referrals to providers near you. You might be able to access mental health care and solutions quickly with this resource.

Next, reach out to your child’s school and teachers. Explain your concerns and ask to develop a plan together to help address the changes in your child.

It’s important to approach this as a team, with mental health providers, school and home working together to help your child get back on track.

Gaps in Learning

On average, military children move 6 to 9 times during their K-12 school years. Every time a military family moves, they must adjust to a new set of state learning standards and expectations. Even if a child is able to stay within the DoDEA system, there might still be small gaps in knowledge.

With each move, military children miss several weeks of class time. All that absent time can add up, with missing information about fractions here or confusion about phonics there.

Solutions:

Working with a tutor, either in person or online, is a great way for military families to help close those academic gaps. Tutor.com offers free online tutoring for military families.

Additionally, many military spouses are credentialed teachers. Often these education professionals offer reasonably priced tutoring and have a good understanding of what military children need.

School Transferring Issues

For students in high school, a PCS can spell disaster for their academic ranking, graduation timeline or transcript. Too often there is confusion about which courses are required at different schools or how GPAs are calculated. While schools are supposed to make good faith efforts to ensure on-time graduation, there can still be issues.

Students who have IEPs and 504 Plan, as well as those qualified for Gifted and Talented Education, also face issues when they PCS.

There are no federal protections and only limited state guidelines for students identified as Gifted and Talented. This means that a student could qualify in School A, but be dropped from the program in School B.

IEPs and 504 Plans are federally protected education plans that must be followed with fidelity. Even during a PCS, plans are supposed to be followed as closely as possible. However, different states have varying qualification and classification standards, as well as different resources available. IEPs and 504 Plans can look very different school to school, and state to state.

Plus, for all of these different education plans, the school has the right to re-evaluate students to determine eligibility.

Solutions:

Before you move, connect with your next school and coordinate transferring documents from the old school. Let the new school know about any special circumstances or educational needs your child might have.

As you’re transferring, connect with the School Liaison Officer (SLO) at your next base. They can often assist with transferring everything that your child needs. They should be able to assist you with using MIC3, an agreement designed to assist military children moving between states.

If you get stuck or have concerns, you might need more help than the SLO can provide or that you can’t navigate solo. At that point, it’s time to consider hiring a professional education advocate. There are several advocates in our community that specialize in assisting military families and/or work remotely.

Caring for Injured Parents

All too often, parents return from deployment with physical or mental injuries. These injuries might be very visible or they could be hidden and undiagnosed. Either way, military children are involved in the daily care of that parent and must cope with life changes.

There are many changes to family dynamics and behaviors when a parent returns with hidden or visible injuries. Too often children are shouldering a larger share of adult responsibility at home.

The stressors are similar to experiencing anxiety or stress due to deployments or separations. The symptoms of a child who is overwhelmed with coping with life changes due to their parent’s injuries might be the same as well.

Solutions:

If your family is experiencing changes due to your service member’s injury, it’s important to reach out for help. The Elizabeth Dole Foundation offers resources and connections to help caregivers and families of wounded warriors.

Asking for assistance from other families members, friends or the community is important. It may feel hard, but building a strong team is important for everyone’s long-term success and well being.

Finally, beginning individual and family counseling can be beneficial. You can find a provider through a referral from your doctor or through Military One Source’s resources.

What problems do you think military children face?

(Full disclosure: Meg Flanagan operates MilKids Ed, an education advocacy service and blog for military families.)

10 Reasons MilSpouses Don’t Ask for Help

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Asking for help is never easy and for some reason we military spouses have trouble with doing so. Especially when we really need the help. We try to do everything ourselves and don’t think we should stop and ask anyone for anything.

10 Reasons Why Military Spouses Don’t Ask for Help

Why do you think that military spouses are reluctant to ask for help or seek counseling?

Here are 10 reasons why military spouses might not ask for help (even when they need it):

  1. We don’t want to bother anyone. As military spouses, we don’t want to have to bother anyone with our troubles. We might assume that we don’t have a right to do so. We might think that if we do the person we ask for help will think less of us.
  2. We think we got this. Military spouses try to stay strong. We think we can do everything ourselves. We don’t want to have to admit that we need extra help.
  3. We don’t know where to go for help. We might want help but we are unsure of where to go to get the help that we need. We are not sure who to call or who to contact in order to find that help.
  4. We think we have to pay for help. If you are not sure about what your options are, some military spouses might assume that you have to pay to go see a counselor. If you have Tricare, they will pay for some if not all of your counseling. You should check and see what is available and what you have access to. There are other free programs out there as well.
  5. We think our need is temporary so we just want to get through it. When military spouses are going through a difficult situation, it can be easy to think that the situation will go away soon. That they really don’t need to ask for help. The problem with this is that sometimes the issues don’t just go away and we really should be looking for someone to help us through them.
  6. We worry about others finding out. Military spouses worry that others will find out if they had to get help for what they are going through. They might fear that others will make fun of them or look down on them.
  7. We don’t want to come across as weak. We don’t want to come across as weak to our spouses as well as others in our community. We worry that if they find out we needed help, they would no longer think we are strong. We have this idea in our heads about how military spouses are supposed to act and we feel like seeking help would mean we have failed to live up to that.
  8. We don’t think we have time. Life is busy and scheduling a counseling appointment might not be easy to do. Some military spouses might want to go and get help but feel like they just have too much going on to add that appointment to their schedules.
  9. We are not sure it will help. Deep down we might be worried that asking for help won’t even do what we need it to do. That we will be wasting our time. 
  10. We think we will look bad to our spouse’s command. This is a fear that some military spouses might have. That they will look bad to their spouse’s command. That they will be known as that wife or that husband and that seeking help will cause harm to their service member’s career.

The truth is, there are a lot of ways for military spouses to find the help that they need. Programs like FOCUS which stands for Families OverComing Under Stress can help spouses find the help that they need to get through their difficult situations. FOCUS offers resiliency training to help children and adults process and grow from their stressful situations.

There are also options to meet with a chaplin, Military & Family Life Counseling (MFLC) Program or be seen by a professional counselor through Tricare or MilitaryOneSource.

During my last deployment, I ended up seeing a counselor because I couldn’t handle what I was having to deal with. Taking the steps to make this happen was difficult but I was able to get the help I needed and learn more about how to handle my feelings as I got through the deployment. I was very glad that I did seek the help even though it was hard to do so.

If you feel like you need extra help, don’t be afraid to ask for what you need. You will be glad that you did as you will be able to learn and grow as well as figuring out the tools you need to get through military life challenges.

Now it’s your turn: Why do you think that military spouses are reluctant to ask for help or seek counseling?

When You Deploy, Where Does Your Dog Go?

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No one should have to give up a pet because they have to go somewhere with the military. The Dogs on Deployment organization is a great program for helping service members prepare for a deployment.

Dogs on Deployment supports troopsTheir purpose is to find a place for a service member’s pet to go during a deployment or other military obligation. Not everyone has family members or friends who can take the animals and it can be a frustrating situation when that happens. In a lot of cases the animal has to go to a shelter since the service member will not be able to take their pet with them.

In addition to that, Dogs on Deployment promotes lifelong, responsible pet ownership within the military community. They do this by advocating for pet owner rights on military installations, providing education and resources about pet ownership, granting financial assistance for emergencies, promoting pet insurance and vaccinations as well as the need to spay or neuter animals. The organization also works to make sure everyone has access to the Dogs on Deployment program.

Dogs on Deployment boards pets of all types that belong to active duty, reservists, National Guard, honorably discharged veterans and their families. DoD was started in June 2011 by Shawn and Alisa Johnson, who serve in the Navy and Marine Corps, respectively. They themselves have been in a situation where they needed a program like this for their own pets.

This program is a great one because of the need for help with pets when you have to go away for military duty. No one should have to give up a pet because they have to go somewhere with the military. Even a short-term assignment could cause distress for people who don’t have anyone to watch their animals. The cost of boarding a dog for that long would not be within anyone’s budget either.

Dogs on Deployment supports military pets

If you would like to support this organization, you can make a financial donation, become a sponsor, share their program on social media or even shop on their site. If you would like to board a pet, after registering with the site, you can search to see what pets are available in your area and the dates needed for pet foster care.

This organization was “Founded by Military, for the Military.” It is a great way to give back and to help those fighting for our country.