By Marguerite Cleveland
There comes a time when the children have finally moved out of the home and you can rekindle your relationship with your spouse. Being an empty nester is the time to have regular date nights and take those bucket list trips you’ve been planning forever. Unfortunately, COVID-19 has reared its ugly head wreaking havoc on so many plans.
For many families, the impact has been kids moving back home with on campus college classes canceled or for economic reasons with so many unemployed. For Kimberlee, a newly retired military spouse, her twins have been home from college since March. They are scheduled to return to school in September but that is up in the air with so many colleges going to distant learning for the fall. She hasn’t felt too much impact as their retirement home has a guest house which gives her boys their own space.
In other cases, families have had to ask their children to move out due to safety concerns with the COVID-19 virus. Susan, a retired military spouse said, “Our 25-year-old son lived with us while going to school, he graduated this spring. The first 2 months of the pandemic he did great, school, work, home. Then he started staying out later, so we had a discussion and decided it was time for him to move out. We just didn’t want to risk him bringing Covid home. Such a hard decision to make, I miss him so much. My husband and I have been working from home during this time-lots of home projects, gardening, reorganizing, and reading (this has been the best part). I miss our weekend trips, impromptu gatherings and being with friends.
Across the country adult children are returning home in droves and it can add financial stress for empty nesters. It is important to set boundaries and expectations to newly returned adult children. It is not unreasonable to expect help with chores and doing their own laundry. Ask for modest rent payment or help with groceries if they are receiving unemployment or other income. If you feel uncomfortable collecting rent do so and sock it away in an account and you can give them a lump sum when they move out. Also set standards for your expectations regarding the COVID-19 virus.
The biggest change of the COVID-19 pandemic for many is putting the Empty Nester Moon on the back burner. Empty Nesters love to travel and have planned for a big bucket list trip which must now be canceled with no idea of when it can be rescheduled. Take the time to rediscover your hometown. Retired military families may end up where you never lived before so now is a good time to explore. Check out what tourist things are open in your area that you may not have visited before. Take a weekend road trip within your state. Be spontaneous and check for last minute deals. It is so easy to just get up and go when you are only planning for two. Take advantage of adult children at home for pet sitting.
Take the time to Dream about future travel. I love Viking Cruise line which has a list of books you should read and movies you should watch that are curated to learn about the destinations of your future cruise. You can plan evenings to watch a movie and prepare food from that region. Cruises from the U.S. are suspended until September and the expectation is that date will be pushed back. MSC Cruise Line recently welcomed back cruisers with a completely revamped cleansing protocol which includes hospital grade cleaners. Ships set sail with 70% capacity and masks must be worn in when social distancing is not practical such as in an elevator. Guests are tested at the port of entry and temperatures of all guests taken daily. So, there is hope for future travel.
One of the things many empty nesters enjoy is hanging out with friends by going out to restaurants, wine tasting or having get togethers at home. During the pandemic most of those things are off limits so what to do. Get familiar with Zoom and have virtual parties. Have everyone order a whiskey or wine tasting kit with samples and have a Zoom Party and share online your thoughts. Another option is to have everyone order from the same restaurant and pretend you are out to eat together.
As this pandemic drags on, we all continue to find creative ways to do things that used to be normal. No one knows what the future will bring but one thing is sure military families have the resilience to handle it.
Marguerite Cleveland is a freelance writer who specializes in human interest and travel stories. She is a military brat, a veteran and now a military spouse. Her military experience is vast as the daughter of a Navy man who served as an enlisted sailor and then Naval Officer. She served as an enlisted soldier in the reserves and on active duty, then as an Army Officer. She currently serves as a military spouse. She lives in the Pacific Northwest with her husband and two sons. Visit her website www.PeggyWhereShouldIGo.com
