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Helpful Tips to Improve the Current PCS Process from a MilSpouse

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PCSing is on everyone’s mind right now. Between safety hazards in on base housing and the fear of losing literally everything during the PCS process, military families are on edge right now.

It seems like military powers that be are prepared to make big changes to the PCS system. But before they do that, I thought I would offer some helpful tips to improve the current PCS system.

Helpful Tips to Improve the Current PCS Process from a MilSpouse

Right now, the big idea on the table is privatizing the PCS system. Basically, one person oversees the process and contracts it out. This would be instead of the current system with multiple steps in the contracting process.

There are some issues with privatizing though.

First, you just have to look at the recent Congressional hearing about privatized base housing to see just how hazardous outsourcing can be for customers. Second, none of this would happen for several years, with the earliest proposed changes coming in 2021.

However, there are some simple steps that we can take to help protect military moves right now.

Vet Moving Companies Properly

Year after year there are issues with who is showing up to actually pack boxes and load trucks. I get it. This is not a glamorous job and is really hard work.

But a quick background check would be great. Some ID before getting hired would be nice, too.

There have been lots of anecdotal stories passed around over the years about less than savory characters being placed in charge of packing the worldly possessions of military families.

Having some measures in place to prevent spur of the moment “hires” for packing personnel would be great. Maybe a list of approved employees that needs to be presented to the gate guard for on base homes would be nice, or a similar ID check method for all military families.

Really, I just want to know the people packing all my stuff into boxes. I want to make sure they’re legit and vetted before I hand over everything I own.

Tracking Protections En Route

Sometimes, it’s not the actual packers that cause worry. Instead, it’s the days or weeks that our household goods are in transit.

Whole shipping containers are lost, trucks wrecked in accidents, and individual items go missing. Clearly, if the entire military spouse community is talking about this, these incidents are not isolated or unusual.

It would be nice to have basic tracking measures put in place to make sure that HHG are being moved in a timely and secure measure. One idea is QR codes or bar codes that can be scanned to update progress.

Increased security measures would also be nice. I recognize that a lot of things are out of my control, especially when my things are on a moving truck and I’m not. But having additional locks, alarms, or other protections doesn’t seem like too much to ask.

Get On Message

Could all the military TMO/DMO/whatever you’re calling it now shops please coordinate your messaging? That’d be great, thanks.

It’s incredibly annoying when families are getting different advice about the “rules” based on where they live or which person they talk to on a given day. One day, you could be cleared for certain things and the next it’s all taken away.

This issue is especially frustrating for moves to or from OCONUS locations. Between coordinating flights and pets and shipments, it’s enough. To add in all the contradictory and flat out wrong information is too much.

Figure out your party line, share it to every single military moving office, and stay on message.

Actual 24/7 Support

Our moving company didn’t show up until 9pm one year. They were slated to arrive at noon. Guess who we couldn’t get in contact with? Oh, the representatives from the actual moving company and the military-side coordinator.

Perfect.

Not having a resource to contact when things go badly is great.

Of course, there are definitely moving companies and military coordinators who go above and beyond. But that’s not standard or uniform.

Proper Packing Training

If anyone wants to learn how to pack stuff the right way, please come to Japan. My grocery bags are efficiently arranged to minimize breakage and spread out the weight.

If the baggers at the grocery store take this level of care, I can only imagine what my actual moving experience will be. I’m prepped for extra layers of wrapping and many boxes of beautifully sorted items.

My big pet peeve is when random things get thrown together. Like knives in with my framed paintings and canvas-based art. Or a wrapped bag of flour. Maybe a fully potted plant, soil included, nestled gently in my white linens.

A quick run down on proper, common sense packing tactics would be ideal.

Simple Claims Process

We’ve been pretty lucky (knock on wood). Over the last decade or so, our damages have been minimal and incidental. A cracked Foreman grill here, and shattered (antique from my Nana) tea cup there. Nothing has been so major that we’ve needed to file a claim.

But I’m waiting for it to happen. I’m prepared for months of battles and storing otherwise worthless items just for the inspection. We’ve got piles of receipts for high-cost items, like our TVs ready to deploy.

It shouldn’t be this way. I shouldn’t need to live with a molding and damaged beyond repair sofa for months while the claim is processed. It’s taking up valuable living space in a probably cramped home.

There’s got to be an easier way to ensure that damaged items are replaced or compensation is paid in a timely manner.

What are your suggestions for easy-to-do fixes for the PCS process? We’d love to get your input!

Photo credit:
© dmitrimaruta/Adobe Stock

Mold in Base Housing? This Isn’t News to MilFams

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There was a lot of shock displayed at the recent Congressional hearings about subpar military housing. Political leaders and privatized housing companies seemed surprised about these issues.

Know who isn’t surprised? Military families.

Having an on-base house with mold, or that’s causing other health and safety issues, isn’t news to us. Working with falling apart base housing is just a part of military life. And it’s one that military spouses have been handling for years.

Mold in Base Housing? This Isn’t News to MilFams

When I joined the military spouse ranks, one of the first things I learned was to get the gouge on where to live. I learned not to stop at checking out the physical location of the home, but to dig into the actual history of the property.

A decade ago, USMC spouses at Camp Pendleton were very aware of the housing issues. We were lucky enough to snag a newly built home. Our house only had faulty (brand new) carpets that deteriorated quickly and stained easily. Plus some neighborhood water mains and electric lines that went down pretty often, considering they were brand spanking new.

We all know about the townhouses located in the next neighborhood. How did we know? Because word was passed about kids getting sick, sick enough to be hospitalized for days on end. We knew about the black mold in the walls, the leaking pipes, the squishy floors, the air vents filled with debris.

We all knew.

Residents started complaining about health issues directly to the housing management company. Some of them got moved into newer housing. Others were told to, essentially, “suck it up.”

The mold-filled homes that they left weren’t gutted to the studs or torn down though. Instead, they were briefly, to my untrained eye, cleaned, minorly spruced up and then rented out again. Folks were given a discounted rate, with some of their BAH being refunded monthly. But they were also living in homes that were likely still filled with black mold.

Base Hazards Aren’t New

The DoD just spent years fighting allegations, now proven, about on-base water contamination at Camp Lejeune. Recent reports show that many, if not most, military bases have some level of unsafe groundwater.

Why are we shocked that base housing would be any different than the water?

It’s not new for military spouses to get the run around when we ask for answers or action. We’re used to the standard line of “We don’t do that here.” Or “It’s not in the regulations.” Hearing “It’s above my pay grade” is getting really old at this point.

If it’s not “your” pay grade or responsibility, I’d like to know who actually is in charge. Who do I talk to about my very real concerns? I’d like a name and a number.

No Plausible Deniability

When we have many hundreds, if not thousands, of cases with rampant mold, lead paint, decrepit walls and more, there is no longer plausible deniability at any level.

Housing companies knew about these issues. ICE complaints were no doubt filed, emails were sent and phone calls were made.

Political leaders, at practically every level, knew about these issues. Perhaps not every Congressional leader or local official in the entire nation. But enough of the leaders in major military hubs should have had this on their radars. Again, calls were made, emails were sent and no meaningful action was taken.

Military families are generally good at documenting things. It’s a skill we’ve honed over years of moving school and medical records, reiterating ongoing concerns to the powers that be, controlling the documents in our households and moving around the world. We’re good at taking the picture, getting the letter and building that paper trail.

It’s all right there, in black and white. Sometimes in living color, especially the pictures of ill children and falling down homes.

To Make a Buck

It’s a running joke in the military. Like your job, but want to double your pay? Become a military contractor.

When the US DoD handed over control of on-base housing to private companies, it shoved military families into no man’s land. There is apparently no higher authority to complain to about issues with housing.

We can’t go to local officials because we’re technically on federal land. Talking to military officials is also out because the DoD no longer controls the houses or their management.

Which leaves us with the actual companies. Except they don’t seem to answer to anyone. They’ve got lengthy contracts for the land and houses, loosely worded. There is no one providing checks on their systems or inspecting the homes.

Instead, the companies are making hand over fist, collecting full BAH allotments from each and every military family living in base housing. No remittance or refunds for falling down homes, for documented health problems, for loss of property due to housing issues.

Start Listening & Taking Action

I’m incredibly proud of the brave military spouses who have been speaking up. Sitting in front of Congress must be incredibly intimidating. Sharing your story in any capacity, in person or through digital media, takes strength and courage.

It’s time that we hold the privatized housing CEOs and Congressional leaders accountable. We need to keep talking about our housing issues, sharing our concerns and asking the hard questions.

Military spouses are a resilient community, ready to take action and make big changes. Let’s work together to create positive change in military housing and hold the decision makers responsible.

What has your base housing experience been? We’d love to share your stories, insights, and advice!

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©devrim_pinar/Adobe Stock

VA and Apple Announce Capabilities Launching This Summer so Veterans can Access VA Health Records on iPhone

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By Marguerite Cleveland

The U.S. Department of Affairs and Apple recently announced that new capabilities will soon be available for Veterans to access their VA medical records using the Health Records on iPhone feature from Apple. This is for Veterans receiving their care directly through the VA.

“We have great admiration for Veterans, and we’re proud to bring a solution like Health Records on iPhone to the veteran community,” said Tim Cook, Apple’s CEO. “It’s truly an honor to contribute to the improved healthcare of America’s heroes.”

The Health app on an iPhone will allow Veterans to view everything from health conditions to lab results as well as other medical information. In addition to the VA, Apple has partnered with other hospitals and medical facilities that have electronic records and this information is available as well on the Health Records app. Veterans will be able to view their medical data from multiple providers on their iPhone. Once a Veteran has completed an appointment within 24 hours of the visit their health record will be updated and available on the app. “When patients have better access to their health information, they have more productive conversations with their physicians,” said Jeff Williams, Apple’s COO. “By bringing Health Records on iPhone to VA patients, we hope veterans will experience improved healthcare that will enhance their lives.”

All this is possible due to the VA’s new Veterans Health Application Programming Interface which allows Veterans to access their health records on mobile devices or in their web browser. “Our Health API represents the next stage in the evolution of VA’s patient data access capability,” said VA Secretary Robert Wilkie. “By building upon the Veterans Health API, we’re raising the bar in collaborating with private sector organizations to create and deploy innovative digital products for Veterans. Veterans should be able to access their health data at any time, and I’m proud of how far we’ve come to accomplishing this.” 

According to Apple, Veterans medical records and health data on the app is encrypted and protected with a user’s iPhone passcode, Touch ID or Face ID. “Our goal is to empower people to better understand and improve their health, enabling them to view their medical information from multiple providers in one place easily and securely,” said Kevin Lynch, Apple’s vice president of Technology. “We’re excited to bring this feature to veterans across the US.”

The Apple iPhone app will be the first record sharing platform available to the VA which looks forward to partnering with other companies to bring similar technology to other mobile platforms. The Veterans Health API is another example of the VA’s commitment to IT modernization which began in March 2018 with the launch of Lighthouse, the department’s Application Programming Interface Management Platform.

Marguerite Cleveland is a freelance writer who specializes in human interest and travel stories. She is a military brat, a veteran and now a military spouse.  Her military experience is vast as the daughter of a Navy man who served as an enlisted sailor and then Naval Officer. She served as an enlisted soldier in the reserves and on active duty, then as an Army Officer. She currently serves as a military spouse. She lives in the Pacific Northwest with her husband and two sons. Visit her website www.WanderWordsWine.com

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© witthaya /Adobe Stock

In Honor of Women’s History Month – Military Spouses Who Made a Difference

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By Marguerite Cleveland

In honor of Women’s History Month here are some Military Spouses worth remembering.

Martha Washington – We most often think of her as a First Lady but before that she was the quintessential Army Spouse holding down the fort while her husband was deployed. In addition to running Mount Vernon, the family estate she also visited George at Valley Forge and entertained the officers and their spouses.

Mary Ludwig Hays – You will know her as Molly Pitcher, the nickname given to her after her service at the Battle of Monmouth.  Mary spent the day bringing water to the soldiers as well as providing water to cool the artillery pieces one of which her husband, William was manning. When he collapsed she assumed his position and continued firing the cannon at great danger to herself. At one point it is said a enemy cannon shot passed between her legs taking off a piece of her petticoat. After the war, the state of Pennsylvania awarded her with a pension for her service at Monmouth.

Julie Compton Moore – You may recognize her from the movie “We Were Soldiers” where she was played by Madeline Stowe. In one of the most poignant scenes in the movie, Moore intercepts the taxi driver who is delivering the notices of those who had died in a battle in Vietnam. There is more to her story though. She was so appalled by the heartless way that family members received notification of the death of their loved ones that she lobbied for change. As the results of her efforts, we now have a more compassionate system in place where a service member and a chaplain make the notification in person.

Tanya Biank –  Tanya is the woman who put Army Wives on the map.  Her book, “Under the Sabers”, became the inspiration for the television show, “Army Wives” on the Lifetime network and was one of their most popular shows. It aired from 2007 to 2013 and introduced America to the military spouse experience. Biank who is also an Army Spouse served as a consultant for the show.

Ruth Bader Ginsberg – According to the Blue Star Family website, before she was a Supreme Court Justice Ginsberg was an Army Spouse and followed her husband Martin to Fort Sill. The first time she argued a case before the Supreme Court in 1973 it was on behalf of a female service member to obtain spouse benefits for her husband. At that time, husbands of service members were not considered dependents and were not eligible for benefits.

A special shout out to Michelle Obama who deserves to be an honorary spouse do to her efforts for military families during her time as the First Lady.

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© patrimonio designs/Adobe Stock

Do You Use Military Life to Excuse Overindulgence?

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“I’m treating myself for surviving another week of deployment.” “We’re celebrating a promotion.” “She’s finally home! Time to go all out.”

Does this seem familiar to you? It’s almost way too easy to use military life as a reason to celebrate – and over indulge.

From fancy steak dinners to decadent chocolate cakes to booze, there is always a reason to treat yourself when you live the military life. Promotions, homecomings of all kinds or even just surviving another tough week separated from your spouse. Anything can become an excuse to over indulge.


© Vladimir Mucibabic / Adobe Stock

Do You Use Military Life to Excuse Overindulgence?

I’ve been there with you. During my spouse’s year-long combat zone deployment, I found a reason to treat myself almost every single day.

Survived the week? Red wine. Handled something without crying? Spoonfuls of cookie dough, straight from the giant, family sized tub.

Every weekend was a great excuse to enjoy a night out with my girlfriends, make a sweet treat or sip on something alcoholic.

I felt pretty good about my choices. After all, my spouse was deployed and I needed to survive this with a shred of my sanity intact. Numbing my feelings with my “treats” was a great way to make that happen.

Until I looked in the mirror and stepped on the scale a few months into the year.

Over Indulging to Numb Feelings

I had packed on a few pounds in just a few months thanks to my overindulgence. Clothes weren’t fitting as well anymore. And I looked a little worse for wear.

I realized that I had been treating myself to avoid dealing with the emotions of deployment, of being truly alone for the first time. It was easier to eat or drink than to actually confront what I was feeling.

Stepping on the scale and really looking in the mirror forced me to confront what I was doing to my body. I didn’t like what I saw and resolved to change.

Which was great, until my spouse came back.

Celebrations to Treat Yourself

Numbing with food or booze is common during deployments, but it’s also an easy habit to slip into when your spouse is home.

It starts with the homecoming celebration, foods they haven’t enjoyed or drinks they’ve been craving. But that could bleed over to enjoying all the local restaurants they’ve missed, too. So you end up eating out more often than not, to treat yourselves.

Before you know it, there’s a promotion in the works, farewell parties, baby showers, holidays and other milestones. Every occasion requires celebrating, right? And that means rich dishes and freely flowing drinks.

You don’t want to be a party pooper, so it’s easier to just join in than take a pass or BYO anything.

Eventually, treating yourself becomes a habit and a lifestyle. And military life has become the reason.

Breaking the Treat Yo’Self Cycle

Do you recognize yourself? Are you treating yourself all the time, creating a lifestyle around indulgences?

Yeah, I was right there with you. And every so often, I find myself slipping back into those routines. Old habits die hard, right?

When I notice that I’m over indulging, I also know it’s time for a personal reckoning. The first step is to hold myself accountable with a food journal and exercise tracking.

When I actually write down everything I’m eating and drinking, the results usually surprise me. It’s easy to overlook those sneaky bites of brownie or comforting cookies when you’re not taking notes. When you see your eating habits in black and white, it’s not so simple to ignore anymore.

I also take a good look at my fitness habits. Am I making it a point to move every day? What am I doing to account for what I’m eating? Weight loss and maintenance is all about balancing calories in with calories out.

Finally, I look at my calendar and appointments. I’m looking for notes about nights out with friends or dinner dates with my spouse. How often am I making a reason to celebrate?

Find a Celebration Balance

Life is all about balance. That’s true for celebrations, too. You can and should celebrate the milestones and victories. And a few nights out with friends, just because, never hurt.

But celebrating and nights out shouldn’t become your lifestyle.

Finding a good balance and making a plan for celebrations is essential.

Try to make celebrations matter. Pick out the milestones that matter to your family most and prioritize those moments. Plan a party, go out to eat and enjoy some desserts.

For other occasions, make a plan to treat yourself within reason. At neighborhood BBQs or farewells (or whatever you’re celebrating), plan to bring a healthy dish and limit your drinking. Enjoy a good time with friends, but also commit to your lifestyle goals.

Have you used your military life to over indulge? How did you break the cycle? We’d love to check out your best tips!

Bringing Story Time To Military Kids Around the World

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Bob Hope Legacy Reading Program helps military kids stay connected

By Marguerite Cleveland

Deployments can be so tough on kids and it is often difficult for them to stay connected to their deployed loved ones.  Back in the day my father would send us cassette tapes and we could listen to him. Then we would tape one and send it back to him. Technology has changed so much since then and the Bob Hope Legacy Reading Program helps military kids stay connected with their deployed love ones.

Valerie Ortiz’s three year old was struggling with Dad being away. “Last Christmas, my husband was deployed and he sent a video and a book of him reading to our kids. Our 3 year old was having particular trouble with Dad being away and that video and book was everything. He must’ve watched it 30 times that one night and then watched it every day for a month. We were extremely grateful,” she said.

Ortiz had discovered the Bob Hope Legacy Reading Program. The Bob Hope Legacy partnered with the USO to provide is a virtual, on-demand story time that helps military kids connect with their deployed parent. The program has three parts: story time, military kid reading program and supporting local reading programs around the world. It has reached an estimated 23,000 military families throughout the world this past year.

The Story time program allows military service members to read to their children wherever they are in the world. It can help them provide a special gift to mark important occasions like a birthday or newborn birth. You just need to go to a participating USO locations to record yourselves reading to your child and that recording gets shipped home.

Another aspect of the program works in reverse with the military child recording themselves reading and the ability to share it with someone they love. The USO helps bring families together by sending the recording to a child’s loved one.

The USO and the Bob Hope Legacy supports local reading programs specifically designed to meet the needs of a local military community. These programs may be geared towards military spouses to help them meet others in their situation or kids craft activities designed to pair with a story.

Bob Hope was a famous movie star who loved the military. At his prime he headlined USO shows and usually spent every Christmas performing for the troops. The USO continues to honor his legacy and you can read more about him at Bob Hope – The USO’s One Man Morale Machine.

Marguerite Cleveland is a freelance writer who specializes in human interest and travel stories. She is a military brat, a veteran and now a military spouse.  Her military experience is vast as the daughter of a Navy man who served as an enlisted sailor and then Naval Officer. She served as an enlisted soldier in the reserves and on active duty, then as an Army Officer. She currently serves as a military spouse. She lives in the Pacific Northwest with her husband and two sons. Visit her website www.PeggyWhereShouldIGo.com

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© WavebreakMediaMicro/Adobe Stock

Make the Most of Your On-Base Mayberry Neighborhood Life

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The street lights come on, colors sound, and suddenly you hear a chorus of voices filling the evening air.

“Johhny and Aiden, time to come in!”

“Sydney and Mariah, dinner!”

Kids scatter from the playgrounds while doors open and shut quickly as children sort themselves into the correct house. Bikes are left leaning against fences and neighbors sit down for spur of the moment glasses of sweet tea on porches.

Make the Most of Your On-Base Mayberry Neighborhood Life

Living on-base can feel a lot like living in a Mayberry neighborhood. Everyone knows everyone else, kids play outside almost all the time and there’s always someone there to lend a hand.

It seems like this simpler lifestyle could go on forever, but the years in your on-base Mayberry neighborhood are limited. Sure, you could end up in another similar situation, but then again you might not.

Right now is the best time to make the most of your incredible military community.

Photo Credit:
©devrim_pinar/Adobe Stock

Kids Play Outside All the Time

In a lot of on-base neighborhoods, the kids are always outside. Like, all the time. They’re riding bikes, chilling at the playground and catching air at the skate park. Some are building forts or playing a pickup soccer game.

This isn’t something that happens in off-base neighborhoods. Houses are more spread out, playgrounds might not be within easy reach or it’s just not that safe.

On-base, it’s pretty safe to let your child run to the within-shouting-distance playground with their friends for a bit. Or to let them run down the street for an impromptu playdate with a neighbor.

There are always other kids to play with on base. In fact, it’s hard to find a neighborhood without children at all. From infants to high schoolers, there are usually a whole group of kids in a similar age range.

Borrow a Cup of Sugar

Or grab a can of peas or a bag of nuggets. Seriously, your neighbors are here for you in ways that just aren’t a thing off base anymore.

It’s not uncommon for cul de sacs to have a community text message or Facebook chat. Send a quick message to your neighbors about literally anything.

Run out of an ingredient? Send a message and then just run across the way to grab what you need.

Neighborhood messages have been used to find a last minute sitter, figure out playdates, and even get quick checks at the mailboxes. No need to leave your house and check your box if you’ve got a neighbor headed that way already. It’ll save you the trip only to find an empty mailbox!

Find Support 24/7

What do you need help with? Chances are good that you can find what you need right in your on-base neighborhood. From tutors to yard care to babysitters, you’ll find resources within easy reach.

Many military neighborhoods use social media to connect. Members can post anything they need 24/7.

It’s definitely not uncommon to see a post from a military spouse looking for a date night sitter or wondering about the trash schedule. Social media groups make it easy to connect, find answers and support each other.

Easy Ways to Socialize

Base housing is usually organized based on rank/grade, which means that usually you’ll be living near folks who are at a similar place in life as your family. And this opens up great opportunities to socialize together.

On base, it’s not unusual to have spur of the moment BBQs or weekend fires. With a neighborhood text message or every family outside in the afternoon, it’s easy to make plans together.

You’re together almost all the time, you see each other every day. And getting together is simple.

Ask a neighbor about dinner plans, then suggest combining your grilling to make it into an impromptu party!

Or talk with other parents outside after school to make plans for a kids’ playdate or parents only fire.

Holiday Community Spirit

Whether you’re overseas or just across the country from your family, you’ll still be able to celebrate with people you love! Most military neighborhoods end up celebrating all the holidays, big or small, together.

Every holiday turns into a giant potluck with every family bringing their favorite sides and desserts to share. All the kids play together all day long.

After living on base, it might feel weird to not have a giant all-hands Easter egg hunt.

Having a giant potluck to celebrate with your neighbors make holidays far from your childhood home easier and more festive.

Make Separations Simpler

On base, it’s easy for families to band together and make deployments or TDYs simpler for everyone.

Combining families for dinner, swapping playdate locations and generally working together has saved military spouses on the home front more than once. Living on base makes finding support and teammates so much easier.

Everyone is in this together, dealing with stretches of solo parenting or missing a spouse. Finding your own battle buddy helps families stay sane and survive separations.

What do you love about living on base? Share your experiences with us!

5 Things to Know About Military Spouse Friendships

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Military Spouse friendships are a very special kind of relationship. With only a couple of years between each move, we get to know each other very fast and often take on the responsibility of closest family member or official emergency contact for each other. A good friend can make or break the constant turning and changing nature of this life. It can make you feel totally at home or totally foreign and alone. But forming your community is not as simple as it sounds, especially if you are an introvert like me. Over the past 5 years, here are some things I have learned that might help.

Put Yourself Out There

I cannot stress this enough. You can only be a part of this community if you put yourself in it. We can be as warm and welcoming as hot chocolate to newcomers, but if they never leave the house they will feel isolated and alone. It can feel awkward and you might come across as sort of intrusive in a different context, but go ahead and invite people over for coffee from your neighborhood facebook page, or introduce yourself to other moms you see on the playground or at library story time. Make some cookies and share them with your neighbors. Invite a fellow pet mom to take the fur babies for a walk on a regular basis. Get out of your house and say hello to the people around you. I cannot tell you how many great friends I have made by my husband coming home and telling me about a new marine in his unit who has a wife, then I search for her on facebook and invite her out to my favorite coffee shop or over to my house. As a newcomer it is totally encouraging to make a friend your first week in a new place. It sort of feels like blind dating, and not everyone will be your best friend, but you have to be open to it. Which brings me to my next point.

You Will Not Always Have a Best Friend

Chances are, there will be at least somebody in each place you live that is compatible to you. But don’t feel depressed if you don’t always find your kindred spirit soul sister bestie who makes you laugh and cry and reach for the stars every time you see her. The truth is, that won’t always happen. And that is ok, it is just a different season of life. Sometimes you will have a few friends with kids who like your kids, or someone you can enjoy a cup of coffee or glass of wine with, someone who enjoys similar hobbies as you do, but doesn’t really knock your socks off. Keep that person close! Chances are, a friendly acquaintance will still bend over backward to help you out in an emergency, or bring you a meal after you have a baby. Be able to edit your cover letter for a job application, or tell you where to find the best tacos out in town. There is room for all levels of friendship in this life, and each one can teach us different things about ourselves.

When Friends Move Away, You Won’t Always Stay In Touch

If you aren’t already, it’s time to get on Facebook/Instagram. Social media gets a bad reputation for making communication less personal, but for the working mom whose husband is deployed, with friends spread out all over the world, social media becomes the most convenient way to stay up to date on everyone’s life events and drop a note or comment here and there to keep touch. Even if you were close friends, it becomes very difficult to maintain a relationship between Virginia Beach and Okinawa. But don’t write them off forever! The good news is that when your paths cross again, you will likely pick right back up where you left off. There have been several occasions where I see on Facebook that someone I know is traveling close to where I live and I reach out to plan a meet up! Another awesome thing about social media! We never would have realized we were so close in proximity otherwise.

Timing is Everything

Sometimes the compatibility is there, but the timing is just not right. Maybe her husband just got back from deployment and the only thing on her mind is family time. Or maybe you had an acquaintance at one duty station who becomes your best friend at the next. The person who used to be your favorite girl’s night out friend may not translate into your New-Mom best friend. Sometimes, I meet someone new to town just a few weeks before we pack up and move away. It can be so frustrating thinking what could have been. Circumstances often dictate how close we feel to people. So embrace the friendships you have now and let them evolve naturally.

Don’t Wear Your Husband’s Rank

Enjoy the freedom of befriending anyone and everyone without restriction. Your spouse may not be able to enjoy the same relationships, but these friends can offer you a many colored perspective on military life which is highly beneficial to a spouse. As long as you can keep your husband’s work stories out of it. Make it about you.

Being a military spouse requires hard work, dedication, as well as flexibility to change, and the spouse friendships are a big part of that. Let yourself feel sad when people move away, these emotions are a part of loving your friends. But at the same time let yourself be open to the new friendships and what they can offer your life.

by Catherine Hershey

Catherine Hershey is a military spouse, mom of three boys, musician, and runner. She loves the challenges of military life and the deep emotions experienced with each change. She loves to share her story and listen to the stories of those around her. Follow her on Instagram @the_wayfaring_homebodies or on her blog: https://thewayfaringhomebodies.wordpress.com

CBO Suggests Tricare Rate Hike, Veterans Benefits Cut to Decrease Deficit

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For the fourth time in five years, the Congressional Budget Office has suggested deep cuts to veterans’ benefits and increases in Tricare fees. These options were put forward as ways to start cutting the nearly $1 trillion national deficit.

CBO Suggests Tricare Rate Hike, Veterans Benefits Cut to Decrease Deficit

The CBO listed over 120 ways to cut federal spending, with increases to fees paid by military retirees using Tricare insurance and decreases in benefits earned by military veterans. These proposals are designed to reduce the federal budget by either cutting costs or increasing revenue.

Even though the CBO makes these suggestions, specifically in regards to military benefits, regularly. However, leaders in the military community are concerned that recent suggestions will appear in President Donald Trump’s budget proposal. This is the fourth time that military benefits have been specifically identified for cost saving measures designed to reduce the national debt.

Tricare Rate Increases for Military Retirees

There are several different options being suggested for Tricare-related fees and premiums.

First, the CBO is floating the option of increasing enrollment fees for working-age military retirees. This would include military retirees under age 65.

Under this proposal, Tricare Prime rates would double. Currently, retirees who joined the military before 2018 and their families pay $297/year for individual plans and $594/year for family plans. With the proposed increase, individuals could see rates above $600/year and families could pay over $1,000/year for Tricare Prime.

Tricare Select members could see new enrollment fees. Currently there are no enrollment fees for most retirees using Tricare Select. Under the CBO proposal, enrollment rates would start at $485 for an individual and $970 for a family.

Retirees older than 65 could see new enrollment fees for Tricare for Life. This Medicare supplement program is currently offered without additional enrollment fees. Suggested enrollment fees are $485 for individuals and a $970 fee for families. These TFL enrollment fees would be in addition to the monthly premiums many Medicare Part B users pay.

Currently, Tricare for Life covers claim amounts after Medicare Part B. Instead, the CBO suggests that Tricare for Life stop paying any of the $750 cost-sharing paying and only pay 50% of the next $7,000 in claims annually.

Together these suggestions could save around $24 billion by 2028. Adding enrollment fees for Tricare Prime and Select would slash $12.6 billion in that time period, with Tricare for Life fees cutting another $12 billion.

These changes, specifically with Tricare for Life, would decrease the financial burden to the government by the amount of fees collected. Additionally, some Tricare for Life beneficiaries might drop the program entirely and elect to purchase a private supplement instead.

Changes to Veterans Benefits

The Department of Veterans Affairs also has opportunities to save money and decrease the deficit. The CBO has identified several specific ways to reduce costs at the VA.

First, they would narrow eligibility for seven identified conditions that are not related to military service. These include Crohn’s disease, arteriosclerotic heart disease, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, hemorrhoids, multiple sclerosis, uterine fibroids and osteoarthritis. Over ten years, this could save up to $33 billion.

Additionally, VA unemployment benefits would end at age 67, which is when full Social Security benefits kick in. This would save about $48 billion by 2028.

$11 billion could be saved by reducing disability benefits to veterans who also receive full Social Security benefits.

Another suggestion would save $38 billion over 10 years by ending disability compensation to 1.3 million veterans with a 30% or lower disability rating.

By eliminating Groups 7 and 8 from enrollment into VA programs, approximately $57 billion could be saved over 10 years. This would remove those without service-related disabilities and incomes above the national threshold as well as those with incomes above or below the geographic thresholds.

Finally, the CBO has suggested that revenue be generated by including VA disability benefits in taxable income. This could generate the $93 billion if all disability payments were taxed, according to the CBO.

Concerns from Veterans Group

The Military Officers Association of America is concerned that the CBO continues to target military retirees as a way to reduce the national debt.

“CBO does this every year. Our biggest concern is that some of these options would make their way into the president’s budget,” Retired Navy Capt. Kathryn Beasley, director of government relations for health issues at the Military Officers Association of America.

Beasley is also concerned that the CBO failed to take into account the recent Tricare rate increases over the last calendar year.

“With all the changes to the military health care system in the past year, we think we simply need to stabilize Tricare,” she added. “It’s been a lot to absorb.”

The CBO stresses that these are simply options included among a broad range of suggestions that will reduce the national debt through cost saving measures or revenue raising opportunities.

Have you seen a Tricare rate hike or change in veterans benefits? We’d love to hear your story. Leave a comment and share your thoughts.

Why You Should Check Out Hiring Our Heroes Three Year Nation Wide Initiative to Hire 100K Military Spouses

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Hiring Our Heroes recently announced a collaboration with Starbucks to launch “Hiring 100,000 Military Spouses. The three year program is a campaign to encourage businesses and companies across the country to make a commitment to hire military spouses.  Did you know that the military spouse unemployment rate is 16%, four times the rate of civilian counterparts?

Hiring Our Heroes is a program of the U.S. Chamber of Commerce Foundation. In addition for programs to help those who served in the military find employment, the group also has extensive resources for military spouses. The group in partner ship with La Quinta Inn & Suites conducted a study on military spouses and employment and it had some interesting findings.

  • Not only is unemployment an issue but so is underemployment as a big challenge. Many spouses are employed in part time or seasonal work when they would prefer to work full time.
  • Military Spouses with degrees have the highest unemployment rate and the most difficulty finding meaningful work.
  • Not surprising is that military moves wreak havoc on careers. Spouses have to quit jobs and then face unemployment at the new location.
  • Military families like their civilian counterparts want and need two career families, but it is harder for a military family to reach this goal.
  • The lack of employment opportunities for a spouse is a factor as to whether a family stays in the military.

Did you know that according to the Hiring our Heroes study military spouses are more highly educated than most working Americans? Over 88% of military spouses have some post-high school education. So what can Hiring Our Heroes do for You? One of the most useful programs is the Hiring Our Heroes Military Spouse Professional Network (MSPN). The group has more than 55 locations which have local events to help spouses connect with their peers and local networks to help them meet local leaders and mentors in their career field. In addition MSPN has an online network.

Hiring Our Heroes also offers employment events around the country with a networking event the night before and a job fair the next day.  To get ready for the job hunt, attend a two day Amplify event which covers everything from personal branding to interview techniques. Amplify is usually 45 military spouses so you will have plenty of opportunities for one-on-one time with the cadre and you will be assigned a mentor in your career field.

There are many digital resources on the Hiring Our Heroes website that military spouses will find helpful like the Career Spark resume builder which is skills based and can help when volunteer work takes the place of employment. It was developed by military spouses for military spouses and is a super helpful tool. There is also an employment roadmap which can help you research companies and careers. Also take a look at which companies have signed a pledge under the Hiring 100K military spouses and reach out to them for job opportunities.

Hiring Our Heroes understand the unique challenges that face military spouses and they have developed a suite of tools and events which can help you when you are seeking employment. What challenges have you faced as a military spouse seeking employment?

Marguerite Cleveland is a freelance writer who specializes in human interest and travel stories. She is a military brat, a veteran and now a military spouse.  Her military experience is vast as the daughter of a Navy man who served as an enlisted sailor and then Naval Officer. She served as an enlisted soldier in the reserves and on active duty, then as an Army Officer. She currently serves as a military spouse. She lives in the Pacific Northwest with her husband and two sons. Visit her website www.PeggyWhereShouldIGo.com