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10 Assumptions I Had About Military Life

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Before I was a military spouse, I had all these notions about who, what and how military wives were and acted. Turns out, most of my assumptions were pretty inaccurate!

10 False Assumptions I Made About Military Life

1. All military spouses are women!

So, the term “military wife” is pretty rampant. After all, when you see those warm and fuzzy homecoming videos, it’s usually the female spouses on camera. So if you thought you would be surrounded by ladies, think again!

A 2011 study showed women make up 14.5 percent of active duty troops, with about 51 percent of these service members being married. Accounting for the 48 percent of married female service members in dual-military families, that leaves about 51,000 civilian spouses who are married to female troops.

Yes, that study didn’t account for same-sex relationships because it was commissioned before the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. Even with factoring that in, there are tens of thousands of male military spouses!

2. Being a service member is like a regular job.

This assumption went out the window real fast! With deployments, constant training missions, overnight duty and random weekends in the field, a “regular” job this is not.

There are definitely some assignments that operate on a more typical 7-5 schedule, but those are few and far between.

Our first assignment, right after getting married, was an immediate months-long training cycle for a 12-month deployment. My husband was never home for dinner and was gone before I woke up. That is, if he didn’t just stay at work.

3. All military spouses are the same.

I will be the first to admit that I went into military life imagining a Stepford-like situation: thousands of very conservative, very religious and very patriotic women.

Totally not the case!

Military spouses span the spectrum on both religious beliefs and political leanings. And the community is so inclusive of everyone. Whether you attend church or not, whether you vote red or blue or purple, there is a place and space for you to thrive.

10 Assumptions I Had About Military Life That Turned Out to Be False

What assumptions did you have about military life?

The patriotic thing though? That assumption is mostly true. Military spouses are definitely proud of our loved ones’ military service!

4. Everyone lives on base.

In our 3 tours, we have lived in on-base housing once. The other two times we rented homes off base.

Military housing, depending where you are stationed, can be hard to come by. There are often waiting lists for newly built or recently renovated neighborhoods. Other times, like certain overseas duty stations, military families might be required to live on base.

Often, houses out in town come with different perks. Some service members enjoy the separation of their work life and their home life. School districts might offer different resources in another town. Or the location, like on the beach or in the mountains, might just not be an option otherwise.

5. Everything is free or cheap.

We have all heard about the much touted military discounts and giveaways, right? From groceries to houses to theme park admissions, it can seem like lots of things are free.

This assumption is definitely 100 percent false.

While there are perks to being a military family, like complimentary admission to certain theme parks or organizations that provide things just for us, we are still just regular families who pay our own way.

6. Every sailor is on a ship, every airman flies and every soldier or Marine is infantry.

Each service member has a different job to do, just like in the civilian world.

Not everyone in the Air Force flies, for example. Some are doctors, lawyers or in charge of moving supplies around. Not every Marine carries a weapon and wears camo face paint. Some deal with the news media, some are in HR and some fly aircraft. And while many sailors are on the high seas, there are also those who serve on land in a variety of positions.

You can’t compare jobs, even in the same branch of service. Everyone has their own mission and objectives.

7. The great officer vs. enlisted debate.

Before joining the military spouse community, a lot of the word on the street was that officer spouses were snobby or that enlisted spouses were young.

I am going on record as saying this is absolutely not true! Literally nothing that you have heard about “how” officer or enlisted spouses behave or are is 100 percent accurate for every single person in that community.

Each spouse, each person, is their own individual self. No one fits a category or mold.

For the most part, every person I have come in contact with on this journey has been kind, helpful and generous to me and my family.

And spouses, unless also serving in the military, do not wear ranks. So, let’s just erase this one for good!

8. Military homecomings are picture perfect.

After waiting an additional few days and then several hot, sweaty hours in the sun, this assumption is definitely debunked.

Yes, military homecomings are usually a time filled with joy and happiness. Your service member is back safe and sound! But these events also come with some serious concerns.

Often homecoming dates and times are changed up until the very last minute, leaving families in the lurch when it comes to planning for child care or what to wear and bring.

Reintegration is a very real challenge. Your loved one has served in very different and often difficult situations for many months. He or she might have gone through hard times, including the loss of a friend or teammate. Sometimes, just rejoining family life is tough after months spent living on the military’s schedule.

9. Saying goodbye gets easier.

It’s not that it gets easier, it just becomes more normal.

You will still miss your spouse when they are gone, whether it is for a week or for a year. It is still hard sleeping alone, parenting alone and eating alone. You might still cry every time you say goodbye.

But with each farewell, you also have the knowledge that she or he will come home. You know the routine and can switch into it more easily.

10. You’ll see the world!

Or maybe just Kansas and Oklahoma.

There are military bases around the world, from right here in the United States to exotic overseas locations like Asia or Europe.

But not every military job or branch is able to move to every military base.

Some pilots can only fly their aircraft from certain locations. Or your family might only be able to receive health or educational services in certain places. Or your spouse’s branch of service isn’t in your dream location.

It totally depends in a lot of factors and the needs of the United States government.

The good news is that every duty station, near or far, has its own set of perks and benefits that can help make it feel like home!

What assumptions did you have about military life? Tell us in the comments section.

How to File an Inconvenience Claim for Your PCS

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Moving can be stressful and when the movers don’t arrive to pick up your household goods or to deliver them, it’s time to file an inconvenience claim.

How to File an Inconvenience Claim for Your PCS

Filing an inconvenience claim when a moving company does not pick up or deliver household goods is easy if you follow these steps.

What is an inconvenience claim?

An inconvenience claim is a request for reimbursement of money unexpectedly spent due to the moving company not arriving on the agreed upon pack or pick up date or delivered on the Required Delivery Dates (RDDs). You can apply for reimbursement, but it is not guaranteed that you will receive it. Moving companies will generally honor your inconvenience claim however.

What is covered?

Items that you may be reimbursed for with an inconvenience claim include:

  • lodging
  • meals
  • laundry service
  • furniture and appliance rentals
  • sheets
  • towels
  • pots and pans
  • paper plates
  • napkins
  • disposable cutlery

Rental furniture includes beds and air mattresses, cribs, sofa, chairs, table, appliances and one TV. Receipts for purchases must accompany your inconvenience claim.

The total amount they will pay back to you cannot exceed the daily lodging and meal per diem rate.

It is expected that military families will minimize these expenses in ways such as sharing a hotel room with the entire family if possible. If multiple rooms are needed, you must get pre-approval in writing by the transportation service provider (TSP).

It should be noted that if the TSP reimburses you for physical items such as pots and pans, they can reclaim those items once your household goods are delivered if they choose to, though it is not likely.

What is not covered?

Don’t go crazy purchasing things thinking you can just add them to your inconvenience claim. There are many items that are not covered including: food if the family is in a residence, cleaning supplies, toiletries and cosmetics, snacks, military uniform pieces, school supplies, receipts for items out of the local area, receipts dated prior to the missed moving date, expenses that you do not have a receipt for, toys, personal clothing, dry cleaning, ATVs, boats, trailers, bikes, gifts, alcohol or drugs or tickets to amusement parks.

What is the timeline for reimbursement?

The process for filing an inconvenience claim and receiving a reimbursement is actually quite quick. The moving company or TSP is required to acknowledge they received an inconvenience claim filed within 7 calendar days. The TSP will reimburse the family within 30 days. The TSP can choose to voluntarily approve your reimbursement without receipts during this time as well.

You can begin charging the TSP for failure to pick up household goods as of the first day of the missed pick up through the actual pick up date. If they failed to deliver your items, you can charge them from the first day after the missed delivery date up until the date it is actually delivered.

Who is not eligible?

There are some instances in which you are not able to file an inconvenience claim. This includes delays due to: a natural disaster, an act of the public enemy, acts of the government, acts of the public authority, violent strikes, mob interference or delays of Code 5, Code J, or Code T shipments that stem from the government and not the TSP. Also, service members on Temporary Living Allowances (TLA) are not authorized to file an inconvenience claim.

How do you file a claim?

It is a short and easy process to file an inconvenience claim. These are filed directly with the claim department of the moving company that failed to meet its move dates. Each business has a different procedure however, but most are simple. Stevens Worldwide Van Lines, for example, has a form you can download from their website.

It is also a good idea to notify the traffic management office after you PCS. They can provide assistance in filling out the paperwork to file an inconvenience claim. If your claim is denied, they can appeal to the carrier’s home office. If the appeal is not fruitful, your case can then go on to the Surface Deployment and Distribution Command that will review it and make a final ruling.

Help can be found at the destination ITO for Air Force and Army and at the local ITO, Legal Assistance Office or the Claims Processing Office for Navy and Marine Corps. While they can help with the process, you still must file with the TSP. The inconvenience claim package must include at a minimum:

  1. A copy of the member’s inconvenience claim letter
  2. Copies of receipt for out-of-pocket expenses
  3. Copies of the Government Bill of Lading, DD Form 1299 and DD Form 619-1
  4. A statement of the reasonableness for the claim

Have you ever filed an inconvenience claim? What is your experience with this type of PCS claim?

Commissary Closures: It’s All or Nothing, DoD Report Says

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By now, if you have any connection to the military community you’ve likely heard some heated discussion and some of the rampant rumors about the possible closure of all CONUS commissaries.

Commissary Closures: It's All or Nothing, DoD Report Says

An outside view the commissary located at Naval Station Norfolk. Source: U.S. Navy

In the Report on Plan to Obtain Budget Neutrality for the Defense Commissary System and the Military Exchange System dated May 2016, the Department of Defense reported to Congress details on the current sales and usage of the commissary system and explored options for reducing the $1.5 billion shortfall between projected costs and the revenue required to achieve budget neutrality by October 1, 2018. The report reiterated the DoD’s commitment to keeping both commissary and exchange services.

But perhaps the most surprising boost in the fight to keep our commissaries open came from the report’s recommendation that neither commissary closures nor the implementation of significant price increases be seen as viable budgetary solutions.

Commissary Closures: It's All or Nothing, DoD Report Says

How often do you shop at your commissary? Would you shop there less if the prices were increased by 5 percent?

It’s All About Buying Power

As any savvy shopper knows, buying in bulk is a great way to save money. Buying in bulk is a great budgeting tool for individual consumers, but it also is the ace in the hole for large retailers like the commissary. Just like commercial grocers, DeCA leverage large-volume buying power in price negotiations with manufacturers and brokers.

Closing commissaries reduces DeCA’s buying power and reduces its ability to negotiate for the best possible pricing. Close too many commissaries and the significant decrease in volume could even eliminate DeCA’s ability to negotiate directly with manufacturers, forcing them into buying relationships with wholesalers and introducing a “middle man” into price negotiations.

In order for DeCA to offer our community the products and pricing we need and expect, significant decreases in volume must be avoided.

What About a Simple Price Increase?

Another alternative explored included the feasibility and impact of raising prices unilaterally above the cost-plus-five-percent level currently in place.

The report cited research in the Military Resale Study performed by the Boston Consulting Group in July 2015 which noted that polled commissary patrons indicated that “if prices increased even five percent, they would shop 25 percent fewer times per month.”

And while the finite impact of raising prices is difficult to quantify, if commissary sales decreased by 25 percent, the resulting loss of revenue would total nearly $2.1 billion. Additional price increases would then be needed, resulting in additional losses in sales, creating a vicious cycle of higher prices and decreasing sales until the commissary system became entirely defunct.

What if We Closed Them All?

Not only would closing all CONUS commissaries greatly impact moral, but it would create an even greater burden on already difficult budget constraints. The DoD report indicated that nearly 80 percent of all active duty families use the commissary at least once annually, with the greatest percentage of patrons utilizing services “two to three times per month.”

According to DeCA calculations, at this level of patronage, active duty families average just over $1,500 per year in savings. If the DoD were to compensate military families for this loss of benefit, the cost would be nearly $2.4 billion, a significant increase over the current projected budget shortfall. This analysis also fails to take patronage and sales to retirees and their families.

Commissary closures would also have several second and third order effects. AAFES exchange stores rely heavily on the proximity to commissaries to support their revenue.

AAFES estimates that between “20-30 percent of its foot traffic” and the resulting $1 billion in sales comes from exchange locations in close proximity to commissaries. Subsequently, the significant contributions to MWR funding made by AAFES would be greatly impacted.

And let’s not forget about our commissaries located OCONUS. These facilities derive great benefit from their connection to the stateside system.

Decreased buying power would greatly impact cost and availability of products that can make an overseas assignment feel a bit more like home.

According to report calculations, if all CONUS commissaries were closed, the resulting loss of buying power and management support would result in nearly a 25 percent increase in costs for OCONUS commissary operations.

We are by no means out of the woods when it comes to the future of our commissary benefits. The DoD is still examining options that include privatization or varied pricing to help DeCA achieve budget neutrality by the target date.

However, this report seems to solidify the DoD’s intent to ensure commissary benefits for active duty families and retirees remain in place and intact for as long as possible.

Since this report found that shutting down all the commissaries is the only way to operate them without taxpayer money, do you think privatization is the answer to reducing their operating costs? Why or why not?

How Can Our Military Community Help When Pregnant Spouses Are Feeling Desperate?

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No one will ever tell you that military life is easy and carefree. It’s a life that doesn’t go as planned. And even when you scrap Plan A in favor of Plan B, you may find yourself struggling for a solution when Plan B, C and D doesn’t work either.

Those feelings of desperation and the urge to have control over your situation sometimes causes many in our military community to make foolish decisions – decisions that under normal circumstances you wouldn’t even consider.

That’s what I believe happened in this case of a pregnant military spouse who was due to deliver alone for the second time while living overseas. In this post, “I can’t believe what I let my husband do to induce my labor,” the author writes about her thoughts leading up to her due date that collided with her husband’s upcoming deployment.

“The news that my husband would be deploying on the due date of our second child was both familiar and heartbreaking. He had deployed on the due date of our firstborn and was thousands of miles away by the time I finally went into labor and delivered our son. We thought we’d planned better with our second and final child, but being in the military means always expecting the unexpected.”

The command did permit the service member to remain with his wife for 2 weeks after the rest of the battalion deployed, but that waiver didn’t reduce her stress.

“Days passed and nothing changed. As we approached the fourth day, I panicked….We tried all the home remedies that were supposed to start labor: raspberry leaf tea, sex, walking, spicy food; you name it, we did it. Still nothing. On the seventh day, desperation became fear.”

In the end, she begged her husband to try to break her water using a hook they made out of a wire coat hanger. But in the end, thankfully, she went into labor without using the hook to break her water. She delivered her healthy baby boy at the military hospital.

But this story illustrates the desperate measures that some military spouses might try to induce labor before their service member’s departure. Her story isn’t unfamiliar to many of us who have been a member of the military spouse community for years. Maybe you have a similar story yourself.

Being stationed overseas is daunting.

Having a baby is stressful.

Knowing that your husband will not be there for the birth of your child is a tough pill to swallow.

Combine those 3 circumstances with the feelings of being alone and afraid because you don’t have your support system to turn to for help and her decision to ask her husband to break her water doesn’t seem illogical anymore.

How Can Our Military Community Help When Pregnant Spouses Are Feeling Desperate?

What do you think the military community could do to help spouses in these types of desperate situations?

Here are the lessons learned from this woman’s cautionary tale.

First, we need to recognize our feelings of isolation and desperation. In the days leading up to a deployment, pregnant or not, a military spouse feels emotional. Pregnant or not, she may feel like no one can help her and that no one can relate to her feelings.

I guarantee that there are military spouses on her base who have had the same thoughts, same feelings and faced similar circumstances as her. This is her military spouse community who should have supported her.

But the military community can’t help us if we don’t ask for help.

It’s scary to admit that we need help. But no one is going to fault a pregnant military spouse with a toddler, who is living overseas and facing the reality of giving birth alone for asking for assistance. Instead the military spouse community is going to help.

Secondly, we as members of the military community need to step up and provide the support that this desperate military spouse needed. She needed to know that she had someone to be with so she wouldn’t have to worry about giving birth alone. She needed to know that she would have reliable child care for her toddler when she went to the hospital. Heck, she even needed transportation to get her to the hospital.

Her challenges weren’t impossible if she had a military spouse community that enveloped her with support. A community that didn’t casually ask “how can I help?” but instead said “here’s how I will help.”

As uncomfortable as it is to be the pregnant military spouse seeking help, it is equally uncomfortable to reach out to that pregnant spouse who is your on-base neighbor.

You know that her husband is deploying soon, even if you don’t know exactly when.

You know that she has a toddler, even if you don’t know if she has child care for him.

You know her due date, even if you don’t know if her mother-in-law is able to come and stay with her when her spouse deploys.

And you will never know the answers to these personal questions if you don’t ask. If you ask, then you can help. But if you avoid asking these questions, because you don’t want to seem like a pest or nosy, you miss out on an opportunity to extend the helping hand of the military spouse community.

Finally, there needs to be more resources within the military community to help these kinds of situations. Giving birth without your parenting partner isn’t unusual in military life. There are fantastic nonprofits that throw baby showers for expecting military spouses but as we see from this story, military spouses need more than diapers and swaddling blankets.

And if there are resources to help mothers who are delivering during deployment, this woman’s doctor and her service member’s chaplain should have brought those resources to their attention.

Let’s use these lessons learned to help our pregnant military spouses feel a little less desperate during their challenging situations.

Now it’s your turn: What do you think the military community could do to help spouses in these types of desperate situations?

Tricare: 2 Urgent Care Visits Without a Referral

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Tricare began an Urgent Care pilot program on May 23, 2016, that extends through May 23, 2019. It allows Tricare Prime, Tricare Prime Remote or Tricare Young Adult-Prime members in the United States to visit Urgent Care facilities twice a year without a referral from a primary care manager (PCM).

Previously, these beneficiaries were required to have a referral from a PCM within 24 hours of going to an Urgent Care facility.

The pilot program allows Tricare beneficiaries to make 2 visits to Urgent Care within each fiscal year, which is October 1 through September 30.

You can now seek help from any Tricare authorized provider. An authorized provider is one that is licensed by a state, accredited by a national organization or meets other standards and is certified to provide benefits under Tricare. These providers are categorized as either network or non-network providers.

If you do receive a referral from your PCM, it does not count against the 2 Urgent Care visits that do not require a referral. If the nurse advice line tells you to go to Urgent Care, it also does not count against your 2 visits per fiscal year.

Tricare Allows 2 Urgent Care Visits Without a Referral

Tricare is trying out a new policy that allows certain Tricare beneficiaries to utilize Urgent Care facilities without a referral from a PCM.

What is Urgent Care?

If you need medical attention within 24 hours and cannot be seen by your PCM in that time, you need Urgent Care. Some examples of why you might need Urgent Care include: treatment for high fevers, sprains such as your wrist, illness that hinders proper breathing (croup), potential concussion from a fall or other urgent matters that do not threaten life, limb or eyesight.

If an injury does threaten life, limb or eyesight, that is considered an emergency. In that case, you would go to an emergency room.

If you are unsure if your illness requires emergency care, urgent care or simply a scheduled appointment with your PCM, you can call the Tricare nurse advice line at 1-800-Tricare. It is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

What type of Urgent Care providers can you see?

You can see both network and non-network Urgent Care providers. Simply make an appointment or walk in to their facility. There are many different types of Urgent Care providers, all of which are approved for you to visit. These include:

  • Family practice
  • Internal medicine
  • General practice
  • Pediatrician
  • Obstetrician/Gynecologist
  • Urgent Care Clinic/Convenient Care Center
  • Physician Assistant
  • Nurse Practitioner
  • Certified Nurse Midwife

While you are authorized to visit these Urgent Care facilities, you may still have to pay network copayments. Visit the Tricare copayments site to determine if this applies to you. Although you do not need a referral to go to these Urgent Care locations, you still need to inform your PCM about the care you received. You may also need to schedule a follow-up appointment.

Who is eligible for this pilot program?

All active duty service members in Tricare Prime Remote, activated Guard/Reserve members in Prime Remote and all other beneficiaries enrolled in Tricare Prime, Tricare Prime Remote or Tricare Young Adult Prime can take advantage of this pilot program.

If however, the active duty service member, Guard or Reserve member is enrolled in Tricare Prime, they are not eligible. All beneficiaries enrolled in the U.S. Family Health Plan as well as those families enrolled overseas are not eligible. Those traveling in the United States who are enrolled overseas still do not need a referral from their PCM, they simply are not limited to 2 visits to an Urgent Care facility. Any care received overseas does not count as well.

If eligible beneficiaries exceed more than 2 Urgent Care visits within a fiscal year, they will be required to get a referral from their PCM or will be charged a point-of-service fee. You can avoid this fee by calling the nurse line before going to an Urgent Care facility.

What do you think about Tricare changing this policy for Prime beneficiaries? When have you used Urgent Care?

Don’t Refer to Military Service as a ‘Family Business’

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Editor’s note: In April, MilitaryShoppers published “What’s Wrong with Military Service as a Family Business?” and one reader had a lot to say about it.

He said “…regarding the participation of volunteer Americans who serve ‘for the duration of unrest’ and those other patriotic Americans who ‘make Military Service a career’ should not be defined as Americans who take on our military/government service as a ‘Family Business.’ Give these brave and honorable Americans the courtesy of acknowledging them as heroes and not Business (as usual) Families.”

Here’s our response to his comment.

A family business, to me, means a store or company that is passed down through the generations. A company that goes from “Smith” to “Smith & Sons (or Daughters) to “Smith and Co.”

In the sense that our U.S. military is built on generations of hard work and sacrifice, yes, one could call it a family business. But only if you are referring to the entire U.S. population as that family.

Frankly, it is not surprising that 80 percent of our current troop force has a relative who has honorably served. In the 1990s, troops saw service in Desert Storm. In the 1960s and 1970s, we saw a military draft for service in Vietnam. Just two decades prior, millions of citizens were mobilized to combat fascism in World War II. These service men and women are the current generation’s parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, siblings and cousins.

It might be hard to find a family where no one has ever served in the US military from 1940 to the present day. No wonder the veterans in our own families influence the choice to commit to military service.

Don't Refer to Military Service as a 'Family Business'

Elaine Brye and her children understand the sacrifices made through military service. Military service is more than a family business. Photo credit: Tonya Brye of Brye Photography

Today, we have a 100 percent volunteer force.

A 100 percent volunteer fighting force means that each and every military member had to make the decision to join. No one was telling him or her to join or else. With recent wars and casualties, you can bet that even children of military personnel had to take these potentialities into account when they swore their oath to protect and defend.

The child of a service member knows better than most the sacrifices that must be made on a daily basis. Seeing a parent deploy over and over, wondering when or if he will come back home and moving constantly are familiar to the 25 percent of current troops who had a parent who served.

Yet many still choose to join the military.

A family business feels like something a son or daughter must join, must continue, to uphold the family name or to keep the family financially stable.

Who is telling that 80 percent to join the military?

They aren’t working for a company bearing their own last name. They won’t inherit a share of it or be able to divide their portion among any children.

There is no inherited reason to sign up for this life, other than their own passion and commitment.

Instead, these volunteers are working for the United States of America. They are working to uphold the U.S. Constitution, to sacrifice of themselves for the common good.

Deciding to serve in the military, or any other service profession, is a calling. It is something that a person feels deep inside, something they know is right for them personally, something that fulfills them.

Whether signing up for a 4-year contract or committing to 20+ years of military service, service members do it because it is right for them. Yes, getting paid is nice and having training or professional experience for post-military life is wonderful.

But military service is more than just a job or career; it is a purpose.

Our troops sign up and swear an oath to serve our country. They are writing that much touted “blank check for an amount up to and including their lives.”

This is serious stuff, something that requires thought and total commitment. It is not something to be entered into lightly or because it “runs in the family.”

If seeing a relative honorably serve has led a person to serve as well, we should applaud this. We should equally seek out and recognize troops who do not have a family legacy of service.

Whatever reason causes a person to join the military, it should not simply be written off as a family business.

Oh no, this “business” is so much more than just something to be handed down.

How do you feel about references to military service as a family business? Tell us in the comments section.

3 Ways a Military Move May Kill Your Small Business and How You Can Rescue It

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Being a military spouse small business owner can be exciting and challenging all at the same time. You spend an exorbitant amount of time building up your client base only to be told the military wants you to move again and again. How long does it take you to recover your business after each move?

Here are 3 ways a military move can kill your small business and how to overcome these obstacles in less than 6 months.

3 Ways a Military Move May Kill Your Small Business and How You Can Rescue It

Moving your business during a PCS may be a challenge. Here are some tips to ease your transition.

Your Clients

You’ve spent a lot of time building up your client base and now you’re moving.

What is a military spouse small business owner to do?

You’ll have to start from the ground up once again to build your clientele list. This may sound daunting after all you’ve done to create your customer database, but that’s exactly what you need to do. The key to this is to jump right in when you get to your next duty station. Let people know that you are open for business.

Think about how you got started with your military spouse small business originally or how you got it going at your current duty station.

  • What steps did you take to earn those clients?
  • What marketing avenues did you utilize? Are those same avenues available for you to use again?

Don’t write off your clients at your former duty station right away. Before you leave your current town see if you can keep any of your clients.

Is your military spouse small business mostly online? In that case, the move might not hurt you at all. If you are able to continue working with your clients over the phone, through the internet or by mail, you might be able to keep them as well.

Do some research and see what you can work out. Call your clients and see if they are willing to work with you during this transition. If a customer is committed to you, they might just stick around.

Your Network and Support System

Networking is the key to success in business. As they say, it’s all about the people you know. Before you even pack your first box, get on the computer and check out your next duty station. Who are the other military spouse small business owners in your new town?

Contact your new command to see if they have a spouse liaison. She might be able to point you in the direction of other wives or husbands in the area that have small businesses.

Don’t be afraid to reach out. Pick up the phone or at least get online and talk to other military spouse small business owners. Ask them how the transition worked for them. They will be able to give you tips on how they got their businesses back to usual when they got to that military installation.

Networking and meeting new people will get you back in business in no time.

Get new business cards made and step out into new areas to network. You can use social media to meet fellow military spouse small business owners. Update or create an account on LinkedIn, a professional networking site. You can reach people on LinkedIn that you might not otherwise have met.

Twitter, Facebook and other social media sites can be good outlets. Create pages specifically separate from your personal accounts.

Make a website or have one made for your business. Buy your online real estate if you haven’t already done so. This entails creating accounts on many platforms that use your business name. This keeps others from using your business name and opens doors to both customers and networking.

You don’t have to do it all on your own. The Small Business Administration is available to military spouse small business owners. The same resources that are offered to active duty members who are transitioning out of the military and are interested in opening their own businesses are available to military spouses. This includes counseling and training, access to loans and disaster relief.

Inventory

If you sell products, maintaining control of inventory during a move can be difficult for military spouse small business owners. We all know what can and often does happen to household goods during transit.

Will you be packing up and moving your own items or will you be letting the military send in a crew to do it for you?

Make sure you take careful stock of your inventory before packing begins. If movers are in charge, let them know upfront to be delicate with these items.

If they get damaged during transit, make sure to file a claim. Most insurance agencies have a timeline for filing damage reports so make sure you do it in a timely manner. Take photos of the damaged property. This can be useful in recouping costs. Save all of this information for tax season.

Are you a military spouse small business owner who has successfully moved your business from one location to another? Share your tips in the comments.

Putting the Memorial Back into Memorial Day

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When I say the words “Memorial Day” what kind of words or images do you associate with this national holiday?

  • Is it the wreath laying ceremony at Arlington National Cemetery?
  • Is it the somber echo of a trumpet playing “taps” at a military funeral?
  • Or is Memorial Day simply a day off of work, when you will hit the beach with your friends or go shopping?

We’ve talked before about this growing divide between veterans and civilians in our country. The percentage of Americans who have served in the military seems to be shrinking with every generation. There is a greater number of military kids who are following in the footsteps of their service member parents while fewer Americans know anyone who is a solider, airman, sailor or Marine.

Then you add in Memorial Day, a national holiday to honor all service members that were killed during any war and you feel this division between these 2 communities a little more.

If you watched television commercials this month, you would think that Memorial Day is a day for hosting a barbecue, taking your boat out for the first “unofficial” day of summer and that it’s the best weekend to save money on a new mattress.

The truth is that these typical Memorial Day activities are insensitive to the purpose and meaning of Memorial Day.

The truth is that these activities are insensitive to the grieving Gold Star families.

The truth is that these activities send a message to our children that if you die in service to your country, your sacrifice won’t be remembered.

But we know that simply isn’t true.

The truth is that our hearts do ache for our Gold Star families. We want to show them love and support in whatever way they need it.

The truth is that even if you haven’t had a friend, neighbor or sibling killed in action, you still want to honor and respect that person’s sacrifice to our country.

I recently saw evidence of that public support for our fallen service members when I read the news articles about the thousands of people who lined the streets of Coronado, Calif., to pay their respects to Charles Keating IV. The 31-year-old Navy SEAL died in a gunbattle with Islamic State fighters on May 3 in Iraq.

The truth is that taking time for a meaningful Memorial Day activity doesn’t take much time at all. All it takes is a bit of effort and planning.

Throughout the years, I have worked to find a Memorial Day ceremony or parade wherever we found ourselves on Memorial Day.

In Okinawa, Japan, my dedication to a meaningful Memorial Day meant attending a service that remembered the Americans who died on that island during World War II.

In Port Hueneme, Calif., my dedication to a meaningful Memorial Day meant attending an early morning ceremony and listening a Navy captain discuss the noble and courageous efforts of today’s sailors in the ongoing conflict in Afghanistan and Iraq.

In Gettysburg, Penn., my dedication to a meaningful Memorial Day meant teaching my daughter to place her hand over her heart when the military color guard marched by us at the beginning of the 145th Memorial Day parade (one of the oldest continuing ceremonies in the country.)

But I must confess that last year I didn’t do any of these things. I was in deployment survival mode and was driving to my parents’ house, eager to start the summer with them. I regret to say that I forgot to remember Memorial Day.

Have you ever forgotten to mark Memorial Day in a meaningful way?

I hope I don’t ever forget it again.

Since then, I’ve learned about the National Moment of Remembrance. The National Moment of Remembrance encourages all “Americans to pause wherever they are at 3 p.m. local time on Memorial Day for a minute of silence to remember and honor those who have died in service to the nation.”

Here’s what the Moment of Remembrance founder Carmella LaSpada says about it

“It’s a way we can all help put the memorial back in Memorial Day.”

A moment to remember.

Now that’s something that all Americans – military or civilian – can do this Memorial Day.

What activities do you typically do on Memorial Day?

Remembering Our Fallen Friends on Memorial Day

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Memorial Day is a day to remember those who have lost their lives while serving our country. This national holiday is a day to remember them and their sacrifices.

This loss hits home more often in military families. We have friends who have lost their lives and friends who have lost their spouses. We know people who have received that knock on the door and we know how real Memorial Day can be to the people in our military community.

As military spouses, we might not be sure how we can remember our friends on Memorial Day.

But there are many ways to do so and ways to include our kids. We never want to forget these service members, their families and their sacrifices.

You can plan to attend a Memorial Day ceremony in honor of your friend or friends that were lost. You can take your children with you and explain to them why you are there in an age-appropriate way. Smaller children might not totally understand what is going on but over time, they will.

See what Memorial Day ceremonies are planned in your area by checking with your local newspaper, television station, American Legion or VFW. If you live near a military installation they might have something going on there to honor those who were lost.

While you are at the Memorial Day event you could wear a special shirt or piece of jewelry to remember your fallen friends. This can help make the family feel like they are still remembered and allow you to honor those that have been lost.

Another way to remember your friends on Memorial Day is to keep in touch with their family members, whether that be their spouse, parents or siblings. Let them know that you think of their loved one often and let them know you are thinking of them as well.

You might want to reach out to them on Memorial Day in order to let them know that they are loved and that you are honoring their loved one. When someone in your family dies, you get a lot of support and love at first but that support can stop after a few months. Reaching out to the family, who still might be hurting from the loss is a great idea if you are close enough to do so. Even a simple card sent in the mail can go a long way. You want them to know that you still love and miss your friend and think of them often.

Children can have a more difficult time when a family friend has passed away. Take the opportunity this Memorial Day to talk about this person with your child. Find out how they are processing the death and if they have any questions. If appropriate, you can take the child to the gravesite to leave flowers or another gift. You just want to make sure they know that you are there to talk about what happened whenever they need you to be. If they are quite young, they might not fully understand where their friend went. Talking about the great memories they have had with the friend can help until they are old enough to understand.

Memorial Day can bring up a lot of emotions and feelings, especially for members of the military. Having a plan of how to remember those in your life that you have lost is a good idea, both for you and your children. Whether they have been gone for just a couple of months or many years, grieving can take a lot of time and you don’t want to rush that process.

How do you honor fallen service members on Memorial Day?

What You Need to Know About the VLER Health Information Exchange Initiative

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The Virtual Lifetime Electronic Record (VLER) Health Information Exchange Initiative was formed following President Barack Obama’s remarks on April 9, 2009. The focus of his speech was to outline improvements to the health care system for veterans.

At the time, there wasn’t a system in place that connected a service member’s record from the Department of Defense (DoD) to the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) for treatment and care. However, during the President’s remarks, he called out the DoD and VA because they,

“have taken a first step towards creating one unified lifetime electronic health record for members of our armed services that will contain their administrative and medical information – from the day they first enlist to the day that they are laid to rest.”

Now, the VLER Health Information Exchange is currently in use for veterans.

Veterans can have their comprehensive medical record all in one place, so VA health facilities and participating health care providers are able to access applicable medical histories.

What Veterans Need to Know About the VLER Health Information Exchange Initative

Have you heard about the VLER Health Information Exchange? What questions or concerns do you have about it?

I was recently chatting with a nurse friend about the VLER Health Information Exchange. The concept is great and really does allow for a streamlined approach for both veterans and health care providers as long as health care providers are privy to the system. She was telling me there is a disconnect with Military Treatment Facilities (MTF) and the VA.

For example, if a veteran wants to seek treatment at a military hospital, he or she still may need to carry all of their documents to show their medical history from the VA to the MTF. Currently, the systems aren’t “connected” per se. The disconnect could lead to delays in treatment and lost messaging.

That will change on June 1, 2016, when the VLER Health Information Exchange will expand to the Tricare network.

The overall goal is to connect the health care providers that serve military members and their families to their medical record, including lab results, allergies, medications and illness. It would take away the need to carry paper records when you visit a health clinic.

After it was explained to me by my friend, I thought of it as a bridge system that carries accurate information to the appropriate health care provider. Whether you are being treated at a VA facility for one ailment or getting a general check-up at a MTF, your doctors are on the same page to make the smartest diagnosis and care.

Tricare released a handy video that also explains the VLER Health Information Exchange and what it means to military members. The key takeaways from the VLER Health Information Exchange video is that the system is secure, efficient and effective.

It’s secure because only authorized health care providers can access the information. Tricare lists the providers that can see your record as military hospitals and clinics, VA facilities and civilian groups that are part of the eHealth Exchange. From the site, “the eHealth Exchange is a network of exchange partners who securely share clinical information across the United States.”

Efficiency comes into play because the VLER Health Information Exchange would avoid any cross duplication of tests and/or procedures already done for a patient. Because it is a comprehensive health record of an individual, the health care team can assess your current situation to give you appropriate treatment, which highlights effectiveness.

Of course, veterans and family members could opt out of the system. It’s not required to participate, but that would mean none of your medical history will be on the VLER Health Information Exchange. Currently, active duty members must be a part of the program.

Take a look at Tricare’s VLER Health Information Exchange resource site to read more about the initiative to see if it’s something you would want to use or if you would rather opt out of it.

Do you have any questions about the VLER Health Information Exchange? Share them in the comments section.