Dear Santa, Military Spouses Really Want…

12/07/2015 By Rachel Tringali Marston

This year, I’m having a very difficult time putting together my Christmas wish list and the same goes with my husband. We had the “what do you want for Christmas?” conversation as we were putting together our tree over the Thanksgiving weekend and couldn’t pinpoint anything specific to get one another.

What Military Spouses Really Want for Christmas

What do you want for Christmas?

In reality, we both already have what we truly want, especially for this holiday season. I get to see my family and spend it with my husband. I’m the happiest of campers!

That brought me to think about what us, military spouses, actually want for Christmas.

Sometimes, it’s not something that our families can buy for us. Instead, it’s a feeling, desire or something we can’t really grasp with our hands that we want for the holidays. It’s those certain things that military spouses value more than a new gift wrapped under the tree.

Military life presents circumstances that other families don’t get to endure. Despite some of the things that we may not actually get this holiday season, there is always a silver lining to our wishes that we have to remember.

Here is a short list of true desires that I feel like are on military spouses’ minds during the holiday season.

Dear Santa, this Christmas I really want…

…to locate that significant item lost from your last PCS.

We had a winter PCS to northern Virginia that took place in January 2014. My husband was coming back from an overseas assignment and spent some time in Texas before he had to report in early February 2014. When we were settling into our new home, I realized that the very first Christmas present my husband gave me when we were dating was missing. It’s a silver tennis bracelet that I adored.

I pretty much turned our new home inside out without avail. Ironically enough, my mom wrapped up a special present for me for Christmas 2014. She found that bracelet in my old bedroom as she was preparing for my holiday arrival.

Military spouses may not always find that trinket lost, so those memories become what we treasure. I was so happy it was found, but the moment that my husband gave me that gift is what I take with me.

…to spend the holidays with family from far away.

The holiday season brings joy to us and also inflated airline prices for travel! Military families have to pick and chose their battles as far as spending a great deal of time and possible money to see their extended family. Thank you supply and demand.

Despite the monetary challenge that military spouses face for travel, we have wonderful tools that help keep us connected for virtually no money. The Internet is amazing and we can practically see each other no matter where we are located. I was able to “be in the room” when my dad blew out his candles in September for his birthday.

…to have my service member home for the holidays.

Deployment rears its ugly head more times than we’d like, which can take away our loved one from us for Christmas. It stinks when it does. I don’t think I’ve ever met a military spouse that thought otherwise.

My husband was overseas for the 2014 holiday season and I’ll admit I might have complained about it more than once. But, military spouses really do have it nice with technology. When duty calls for our service member, there are ways military spouses can connect with them, similarly to our separated family members.

My father would tell me stories of him having to wait in the USO to use the phones there to call my mom when he was away. Also, he would have to wait for snail mail of Polaroids to keep track of my growth as a child.

Military spouses can use smartphones to email photos to their service member and vise versa. I was lucky to get to see my spouse on Christmas and New Year’s Day, while he was away.

What do you think military spouses really want for Christmas?

When Deployment Is the Reason Mom or Dad Won’t Be Home for the Holidays

12/04/2015 By Julie Provost

The holidays are coming and you are supposed to be getting excited about the season, however, this year, your spouse is not going to be there. They are going to be on a deployment or away on training.

When Deployment Is the Reason Mom or Dad Won't Be Home for Christmas

It may be hard for your child to understand why their parent is on a deployment during the holidays.

Many military families have been through this. For us personally, my husband has missed quite a few holidays because he has been deployed or had to be away from us for different reasons.

As soon as you know that your spouse will be deployed for the holidays, you need to make a plan to tell your kids. If they are very young you might not have to say much if anything at all. Just do what you would normally do.

If they are older and can understand what is going on, let them know that a parent will be gone because of a deployment. Explain to them that the parent who has to be away because of the deployment wants to be there for the holidays but they will not be able to. Share how much they will miss being home during that time.

Help the child understand that the deployment is the reason the parent will be gone and not because they don’t want to be there.

Plan to decorate and celebrate, even if your spouse isn’t home this holiday season.

If there is a small chance that your spouse might make it home in time, don’t tell your children about that. Planning to surprise them later with the news that the deployment is over would be better than having to tell them that their mom or dad will not be there after you told them they would be.

After you have told your children you should decide what you will do during the holidays when your spouse is deployed. Some people decide to visit family. I was able to do this one year and being with family made that time during the deployment a lot easier on me and my son.

If you can not visit family, maybe you can have someone come to you. Ask your family to see if anyone is willing to come if they do not offer. They might not realize how much being there would be able to help you during the deployment.

Another option is to find friends to spend the day with who are also in the middle of a deployment. We did this with my husband’s second deployment. He was going to be gone for Christmas so I made a plan with a few of my friends. We had Christmas at our own homes and then met at a friend’s house to make a Christmas meal together. That way, we were not alone, our kids would have other children to play with and being with others helped us not dwell on the fact that our husbands were deployed. The day went well and we all had a great time.

If your spouse is going to be gone for the whole holiday season you should still plan to decorate and celebrate as much as you can.

Some parts of the holiday will be different. You might not make a big meal and you won’t be able to play Santa together but keeping a lot of the same traditions as you normally do each year is important for the kids. You don’t want them to feel like they are missing out on everything just because their mom or dad is deployed.

Try to keep your spirits up during this time. Remember that the deployment will be over eventually and you can always have a belated celebration then. Do the best you can to make the holidays great for you and your children even if your spouse is gone on a deployment.

What are your tips for talking to your children about deployment during the holiday season?

5 Military-Themed Elf on the Shelf Ideas

12/02/2015 By Kimber Green

Children go crazy over Elf on the Shelf and many parents across the world love it and have fun creating magical moments with their children. I am very excited to join in the Elf on the Shelf craze with our 2-year-old this year. There are so many fun ideas to get the family into the holiday spirit.

5 Military-Themed Elf on the Shelf Ideas

What is Elf on the Shelf?

For those that haven’t heard of it yet, it is an exciting way to bring the holidays alive. You can purchase one of Santa’s scout elves at most retailers across America and online. These elves are magical helpers that enable Santa to manage his naughty and nice list. They watch children throughout the day and then report to Santa about their behavior nightly. Once a family gives the elf a name it becomes magical and can fly back to the North Pole each night. When it returns to the family’s home, it chooses a new place each day to watch the children.

The personality of your elf reflects the family. Your Elf on the Shelf may be crafty, mischievous, silly or simply fun. Children will have fun each morning hunting for the elf. Is it in the living room, the bathroom or kitchen? What has he been up to all night since flying back to the family?

Here are 5 military-themed Elf on the Shelf ideas to bring the fun to your home.

Military Elf on the Shelf

5 Elf on the Shelf Ideas for Military Families

Military Elf on the Shelf idea by Veterans United Network.

Dress your magical Elf on the Shelf in his very own ACUs/BDUs and make dog tags out of aluminum foil to start the season off in real military style. You don’t need to break out the sewing machine for this cute outfit. You can find camouflage tape at craft stores.

Salute the Flag

I love this idea by Picklehead Soup blog. Set up your Elf on the Shelf under the tree so the light is shinning bright on your elf. Position him so that he is saluting the American flag. If you have a GI Joe or other uniformed toy have it hold the flag. Don’t have an action figure like this? Use the camouflage tape you dressed the elf in previously. Using this position on December 7 can give you the opportunity to talk to your children about Pearl Harbor.

Elf on the Shelf saluting the American flag by Picklehead Soup.

American Hero Elf on the Shelf Support

Is your service member deployed? This is a great way to have your Elf on the Shelf include them in the family holiday fun. You can purchase a small picture frame at the Exchange or make one yourself. Position the Elf on the Shelf tucked in bed holding a picture of the deployed parent. This will show that your elf is also thinking of mom or dad and make the children feel like this is a personal experience.

Phot by Rachel Affield via Pinterest.

Patriotic Elf

Is your military spouse about to deploy? Did you recently move? There’s likely to be a collection of military gear around the house. Gather a group of items and have your elf sit with it. This shows that your elf knows what’s going on and is there with the family.

Jennie Furlow’s Elf on the Shelf supporting Daddy via Blue Star Families.

The Crafty Elf on the Shelf

If you have an extra set of ACUs/BDUs have your elf get a little crafty. If you don’t have any extras, you’ll likely find some at thrift stores. Cut up a portion of them and position him with a pair of scissors sitting next to it as though he did it. This could be a good way to introduce your children into the fun craft of making military-themed ornaments.

KB Crafting Solutions has an inspired Elf on the Shelf.

There are so many patriotic ways to bring military life into your home this holiday season. Have fun and be creative.

Share your Elf on the Shelf ideas in the comments section.

5 Tips for Shopping at the Commissary When Your Child Has a Food Allergy

11/30/2015 By Julie Provost

When you have a family member with a food allergy or on a special diet, grocery shopping can be challenging. You want to shop at the commissary because of the great benefits but doing so can feel a bit overwhelming when you need to find certain foods for your family.

Here are 5 tips for finding the items you need and still saving money at the commissary when your child has a food allergy.

Don’t ever feel like you can’t shop at the commissary because of your family’s special needs when it comes to food.

Here are 5 tips for ways you can find the items you need and still save money at the commissary.

Make a plan. Go to the commissary when you have plenty of time to do so. Walk through each aisle. Read labels. Knowing exactly what is in the food is the best way to figure out what your commissary has and what they don’t. I know in our commissary at Ft. Campbell we do have a small section of foods that are great for those with allergies. Not all commissaries might have them. If you can spend some time walking around you will know what they have and what they don’t and what you will be able to buy there.
Ask for what you need. If you can’t find certain foods that you need, ask to talk to someone about what can be done. Your commissary could have what you are looking for and you just missed it. They could be out of the particular item or they might not realize that people are looking for a certain food. By talking to someone in charge you can let them know what you are looking for and maybe they can add what they don’t have to their inventory. Any foods that will be added will need to be approved by DeCA and the process could take a while but making a request can be worth the time if you can get more foods that you need stocked in your commissary. You can also make a request using the Customer Comment Form online.
Plan for those must-have specialty items. If you can’t find certain foods in the commissary and you still need to buy them, you might need to make a plan. Start off your weekly shopping trip at the commissary to get everything else so you can keep your grocery bill low. Then, make plans to stop at a specialty shop to get the foods you need that the commissary doesn’t carry. You should make sure to check back at the commissary after a few months to see if they have added that product.
Skip the deli. As nice as the deli section of the commissary is, if you have a family member with food allergies, skipping that section would be best. You won’t be able to read the ingredients and you won’t know exactly what is in the food that you buy. You don’t want to end up assuming that a certain food item is safe when it isn’t. You can also ask the deli worker how they prepare the food.
Search and find substitutes. In some cases you will want to pick out an alternative food for one that would cause problems for you or one of your children. For example, instead of bringing home some ice cream, pick out a fruit-based dessert for those in your family with a milk allergy. You can involve your children in the process by allowing them to pick out what that alternative food is going to be.

Finding good and healthy foods when you have someone on a special diet can be a difficult task. With a lot of planning and using these tips, you should be able to find what you are looking for. Don’t ever feel like you can’t shop at the commissary because of your family’s special needs when it comes to food.

How do you save money when grocery shopping for specialty items for your family?

October Military Photo Contest Winner Announced!

11/17/2015 By Military Shoppers

Every month MilitaryShoppers.com hosts a military photo contest for our online community. For us, it’s a way to connect with our followers and help honor the most honorable men and women that serve our nation. For you, it’s a way to show off your most treasured military moments AND enter for a chance to win $50.

Entering the contest is easy…

Go to the photo contest page here and sign-up or log-in
Upload your photo and give it a title
Click Submit

At the end of each month a new winner is selected at random, notified via email and posted on MilitaryShoppers.com.

This month we are happy to announce the winner of the Military Shoppers October photo contest

Congratulations…

Amber Knickman from Ft. Myer, VA for her photo titled “Fall Barn Beauty”

Pets Feel the Separation During the Deployment Too

11/16/2015 By Rachel Tringali Marston

We’ve all heard (and most likely experienced) it before: “Deployments suck.” I might even sound like a broken record at this point.

There are so many different types of stress that can occur when a service member is on deployment or away. But, we often forget about the effect of separation between service members and their beloved pets.

Think about it this way, a deployment or separation is a difficult challenge for all family members. Don’t we all consider our furry, four-legged companions a part of the family?

It’s almost a given for dogs to be very attached to their human counterpart. Did you know that cats can suffer from separation anxiety too?

Felines express it differently, especially because a lot of cats are extremely independent already. Well, leave it to my cat to be the exception to the rule. She is very attached to both my husband and myself. We got her as a kitten when she was about 8 months old. My husband was actually the first of the two of us to hold her.

When Your Pet Feels Separation Anxiety During a Deployment

My husband and Xena.

Since I work from home, I see her a lot more. When 4 to 5 p.m. rolls around, she’s waiting by the door for my husband to arrive. It’s actually really cute.

But, when my husband has TDYs, she stays waiting at the door and it breaks my heart! I can only imagine how she would react during a deployment.

Most pets are sociable creatures and love companionship, whether they are a dog or cat. I believe they can miss and even care for you. Our cat Xena does so by “grooming” or snuggling with us, which can get a little weird at times. Everything said is why it’s important for us to consider our family pets as well as all the other humans in your household that go through a deployment. There are some relatively simple things that can help our furry family members cope with their service members’ absences.

Rewarding your pet is a good way to help their attitude during a deployment.

First, when we know he will be leaving for an extended amount of time, my husband makes sure he spends extra time with her. We call for her and pet her as much as possible.

Then when my husband is away, I mimic the same exact activities that my husband does with Xena. He’s pretty much the person that plays with her everyday with her favorite toy. When he’s away, I grab the toy and play with her until she starts panting and is tired. Keeping to routine is important.

Afterwards, I feed Xena her absolute favorite treats, which I’ve mentioned before, are Purina Whisker Lickin’s Crunchy Tuna Treats. Seriously, she absolutely loves them. My husband feeds her 3 nibblets following a play session. Rewarding your pet is a good way to help their attitude and as a result provide a positive environment for them.

It’s also a benefit to keep your pet distracted and socializing with others. If you have a pup (and if you’re brave with a cat), take them outside for plenty of walks and trips around town at places that are pet friendly.

For service members that need extra help during a deployment, there are organizations out there to assist when deployment orders get drawn and you have no one to watch your pet. Dogs on Deployment is a wonderful group that matches your pet with a loving home for them to board. The organization also considers cats too! Boarding your pet eases the stress of separation by giving them another home to live in the meantime. It also eases the stress for service members as they go through deployment and gives them peace of mind.

Don’t forget about the service member too! I send plenty of pictures of Xena to my husband when he’s away, so he can keep up with what’s going on at home. It’s a great way to keep them interacting with the family no matter where they are.

I can’t end this without sharing some of my favorite pet reunions! I’m a little particular to the unlikely one between a service member and his cat here.

But, you can never go wrong with dogs and their special service member companion here.

What are your tips to help pets feeling separation anxiety during a deployment?

Author Donates His Book’s Proceeds to Veterans Organization

11/11/2015 By Michelle Volkmann

The author of the new book Looking Through Water has pledged to donate the novel’s proceeds to a veterans organization dedicated to the physical and emotional rehabilitation of disabled service members and veterans through fly fishing.

Looking Through Water Author Donates to Veterans Organization

Looking Through Water is Rich’s fifth book and first novel. He decided to donate the book’s proceeds to veterans in honor of his father’s memory.

Author Bob Rich Jr. said Project Healing Waters Fly Fishing, Inc. was the natural choice for his book’s proceeds.

“A main theme in Looking Through Water is getting out into nature to confront challenges and ultimately see them as opportunities. For me, the open water has been very transformative so I thought it would be very fitting to partner with Project Healing Waters,” he said.

Since 2005 Project Healing Waters has been providing basic fly fishing, fly casting, fly tying and rod building classes, along with fishing trips to wounded service members and disabled veterans. Participants include people who have never fished before to those who are “adapting their skills to their new abilities.” Project Healing Waters provides all the fly fishing and tying equipment and fishing trips to participants at no cost.

Project Healing Waters is “much more than a one day fishing trip,” according to the organization’s website.

“For many participants, particularly disabled veterans, the socialization and camaraderie of the classes are just as important as the fishing outings, and provide them a new activity,” Project Healing Waters said.

Bonding while fishing is a theme in the novel Looking Through Water.

Looking Through Water is a multi-generational look at family relationships, told by a grandfather to his grandson during a fishing expedition.

“Fishing is frustration and heartbreak set amidst incredible beauty that for me is a fitting analogy for life and our closest relationships. The small numbers of people on a fishing boat —two or three at a time—naturally lends itself to more personal conversations. A lot of veneers are stripped, and you find yourself sharing information that you might not have on land,” Rich said.

The suspenseful novel starts on an Adirondacks lake and wends its way through Manhattan to the Florida Keys. Its main character, William McKay is neither a sinner nor a saint. He is just a man trying to make sense of his life, Rich said.

“He never set out to be a teacher, but was thrust into the role during which time he taught and learned as well. It’s an adventure story and a love story with a hopeful ending,” Rich said.

“The novel covers five generations in a very short time, and the reader will get drawn into the characters as they lose their way and ultimately find a path back to redemption. A grandson becomes a grandfather and reaches back into his past to share with his troubled grandson the events of a week that would forever change the man’s life,” Rich said.

Looking Through Water is Rich’s fifth book and first novel.

He decided to donate the book’s proceeds to veterans in honor of his father’s memory.

“In his role as Milk Administrator, Rich Sr., learned of successful research using the soybean to create a non-dairy milk alternative. That idea spurred his entrepreneurial vision that led to the ultimate founding of our company in 1945,” he said.

Rich served in the United States National Guard from 1963 to 1969 and was a member of the Army Reserve Officer School Staff. His family’s company, Rich Products, recently team up with Pizza 4 Patriots to get pizza delivered for troops serving abroad.

“We are so pleased to give back to our servicemen and servicewomen who sacrifice so much for all of us,” he said.

Looking Through Water is available for sale at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble.com. Purchase your copy today.

Best Western ‘Wall of Honor’ Celebrates Veterans

11/05/2015 By Military Shoppers

Best Western® created a ‘Wall of Honor’ to celebrate Veterans Day!

The ‘Wall of Honor’ is a special way to honor Veterans by sharing some of the most remarkable and unforgettable moments during their service to our nation.

Check out the photos that were uploaded to the ‘Wall of Honor’ here

Giveaway has ended.Now you can also be entered to win a $100 travel card courtesy of Best Western® if you upload a photo to the ‘Wall of Honor’ and email it to MilitaryShoppers.

(Giveaway ends 11/12/2015)

Sharing a photo is easy!

Enter Your Name
Upload a Photo
Click Submit

Click here to upload your photo and email it to bschmalz@militarymedia.com to be entered into the $100 travel card giveaway!

10 Tips for Joyful Family Photo Cards

11/04/2015 By Julie Provost

Are you planning to send a photo card this holiday season? A photo card is a great way to let your friends and family know how you are doing especially if military life has taken you far from home.

Do you send out holiday photo cards?

If you want to send out a photo card, you will need to make time for a family photo and put everything together all in time to arrive at your friends’ and family’s mailboxes before the holidays. Worried about if you should wear matching clothes? Not sure how to keep the kids from crying and dog from burying its head in your lap? The whole process can be overwhelming thinking about everything you have to do in order to send out a photo card.

Here are 10 tips to help you take and print joyful family photo cards this holiday season:

Book your photo session ahead of time. You don’t want to end up taking your photos too late. If you are going to hire a professional photographer to do your pictures you will need to allow them some time to get the photos back to you. Keep this in mind and try to book the photo shoot as soon as you can.
What to wear. Think about what you want to wear in your photo. Do you want traditional holiday colors or something else? Talk to your photographer about what would look best. How you dress can also depend on your setting and where the pictures are going to be taken.
Prepare. Prepare your kids for the photo session. Don’t schedule the photo session during nap time. Make sure your kids are well rested and if they are old enough to understand, tell them what you are going to do. Preparing them ahead of time will go a long way in helping the session go a lot better.
Pets. If you plan to take a photo with your pet, plan ahead. Bring treats and water and make sure your dog can handle a photo shoot. Have a sense of humor about the session in case the photos don’t turn out exactly how you would like them to.
Picking a photo. Picking the right photo to send out in your photo card can be a difficult choice. Think about what you want to share with everyone and which picture your family looks the best in. Try not to stress too much if the photos in the photo card are similar and go with the one you like best.
Treats. If you know your kids will respond to them, bring some treats with you to the photo session. This worked really well with one of my kids. Every time he smiled for a photo and did what he was supposed to do he got some candy.
Communicate. Tell your photographer what you have in mind for your photo card. You don’t want to get the pictures back and not like what he or she has done. If you can communicate what you are wanting in terms of a photo, you will be a lot happier with the pictures you get.
Make a day of it. Going to a fun place to take photos for your photo card? Make a day of it. Take your pictures and then have some family fun time together. The kids will love the place you go to and you can tell them that is where you are going to go after the photo shoot is over.
Arrive on time. Being late could make the photo shoot more difficult for you, your family and your photographer. The photographer might have somewhere else to be. Plan to arrive a few minutes early so you can prepare your children and be ready to take the pictures.
Have fun. Try not to stress too much about getting your pictures taken. Taking photos is supposed to be a fun time for you and your family. Think about the joy you will feel once you get your photos back and send out your photo cards to your friends and family members.
If you plan to take a photo with your pet, plan ahead. Bring treats and water and make sure your dog can handle a photo shoot.

Do you send out holiday photo cards? How do you get a joyful photo of your family to include on the card?

September Military Photo Contest Winner

11/03/2015 By Military Shoppers

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