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Can a Spouse Harm Her Service Member’s Career?

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As a military spouse and civilian, you may not feel like your actions can affect your husband’s career, but they can and do.

Racking up financial debt, breaking the law, having questionable habits and acting inappropriately can all strip your spouse of their security clearance and prevent them from promotion, moving to desirable duty stations and more.

Think that sounds far-fetched or embellished? Think again.

Each month the Defense Office of Hearings & Appeals (DOHA) releases the results of security clearance rejection hearings and appeals. Each case appealed is described in detail and many of the security clearance withdrawals are listed as due to the service member’s negligence with respect to the actions of their military spouse.

How can a military spouse cause a service member to lose security clearance?

When the government issues a security clearance they are giving that person access to classified information. While it is only granted to the individual, it is a process that includes the military spouse. Their information is included on background investigation paperwork and they can be interviewed. Their actions reflect the service member’s judgment.

Can a Military Spouse Harm Her Service Member's Career?

Can you cause your service member to lose his security clearance?

For example, one case in which a security clearance was denied was when a military spouse racked up $50,000 in consumer debt. The judge specifically said that allowing his wife to “manage all finances was an example of poor judgment, and not the level of responsibility expected of a clearance holder.”

It isn’t just poor financial management by a military spouse that can get a service member in trouble. Your career field and poor habits can also lead to a clearance being revoked.

Another case involved a military spouse working at a recreational marijuana store in Denver, where it is legal to use such substance. Federal law overrules state law in this case, however. Marijuana is still considered a controlled substance and knowing of intentional possession is illegal even if the person has no plan to use or sell it.

In the eyes of the federal government, your (the service member’s) ability to maintain a relationship of trust, understanding and integrity with your spouse is a reflection of your ability to do so with Uncle Sam.

If a service member’s security clearance is pulled it can change their career path. They could be taken off of their team and placed on administrative leave or simply moved to another position. This setback could also prevent them from getting orders to desirable duty stations or even from rising in rank.

If nothing else, it will at least land them in a counseling meeting with a superior which could be a written counseling. A written counseling can take away points from promotion or rank a service member further down in the line-up for promotion.

There are other actions that a military spouse could take that would harm their service member’s career. While it isn’t suppose to influence duty assignments or promotion, a military spouse’s actions in reality can hinder the service member from receiving ideal duty stations or moving up in rank because after all, superiors are human and will remember how a service member’s military spouse has acted, if it is poorly.

Constantly harassing the command to send home a service member from deployment or showing up at the installation with gossip and being a distraction can make a difference. A service member is required to follow the chain of command and if a military spouse talks to a higher ranking person about problems this could reflect poorly upon the service member.

Having an affair with another service member in your spouse’s unit, will make a difference as well. This also falls under the domain of integrity. If the family lives on an installation and the military spouse doesn’t follow the rules of housing, they may be removed from the living situation. Having base privileges revoked will also look poorly upon the service member.

Can a Military Spouse Harm Her Service Member's Career?

What do you think? Does a military spouse’s behavior on or off base affect her service member’s career?

On the flip side, being part of the Family Readiness Group (FRG) might help. If the commanding officer really feels like the military spouse has had a substantially positive impact on the morale of families they may want to keep the service member around and look more favorably upon them. The opposite could be true as well.

Doing nothing at all, not being part of command events for example, most likely will have no influence on your spouse’s career.

If you want to see your service member succeed, obey the law, manage your family’s finances sufficiently, keep your morals in check and help out where you can. The one consistency with the military is that everything and anything can change at any time. Go with the flow and be a positive role model to other military spouses.

What do you think? Does a military spouse’s behavior on or off base affect her service member’s career?

10 Situations that Hurt a MilSpouse Friendship

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Have you ever had a friendship with a military spouse end? It hurts. Sometimes it is something you have done that you feel terrible about. Other times it is something someone else has done. Sometimes the death of the friendship is just circumstances and the way things have to be.

Here are 10 situations that can kill a military spouse friendship and how to avoid them.

10 Situations that Can Kill a Military Spouse Friendship (And How to Avoid Them)

What do you find are the factors that may end a friendship among military spouses?

1. Being Friends with the Commanding Officer’s Wife

We always say that rank shouldn’t matter among military spouses, however, in some cases it does. Can you really be friends with the commanding officer’s wife?

When I was in Germany meeting the high-ranking officers’ wives was easy to do because of how small the post was. I made friends with them but not in the same way I could have been friends with other spouses. There is a little bit of a line there. Sometimes a friendship can die out because you just can’t take things any further because of rank.

On the other hand, if military spouses know where that line is, you can still be friends and learn a lot from one another.

2. Being Friends with Your Neighbors

Making friends with your neighbors makes sense. Doing so means you have people that live near you that you can depend on.

However, if something comes up in the neighborhood, the situation can kill a friendship.

I have seen this happen quite a few times. The best thing to do is always be a good neighbor, don’t cause drama with other military spouses and remember that everyone should be treated with respect.

3. Too Much Gossip

I know I am guilty of gossip, we all are. Nothing will kill a friendship faster than hearing that your friend is talking bad about you. Hearing that hurts your soul and makes you feel like your friendship wasn’t real to begin with. Try to stop gossiping yourself and be a better friend than that.

4. Moving

This one is hard. A friend moves away – like military spouses always do – and life isn’t the same anymore. The friendship changes and for some the friendship dies. In my experience, when a friend moves away, in order to keep the friendship alive both people have to try to keep up communicating with each other. If one of the friends doesn’t do that the friendship will die.

5. Your Children Don’t Get Along

You might have a friend who is perfect for you but things can fall apart if your kids don’t get along. Military spouses spend a lot of time hanging out together with their kids. If there is trouble there, the friendship might not be able to last. In some cases there isn’t much you can do about this other than getting together without the kids.

6. Your Spouses Don’t Get Along

Just like with the children, sometimes friendships fall apart when spouses don’t get along. Everything might be fine during a deployment but once the spouses return things can get a little tense and getting together might be more difficult. This is a hard place to be in. You would have to just hang out without your spouses around.

7. Becoming Too Busy

Sometimes two military spouses can be friends, get together often and then one or both of them become busy. This can cause the friendship to fall apart. One of the friends might be wanting to get together and the other doesn’t have time anymore. If you feel like you are too busy all of a sudden, still try to make plans with your friends. You don’t want to lose them because of how busy you are.

8. One Deploys, One Does Not

Military spouses can be friends going through military life together when one of their spouses deploys and everything changes. This doesn’t always have to be the case but sometimes jealousy can take over and the friend with the deployed spouse might try to fade away.

The best thing to do is to understand that your friend could be hurting because their spouse is gone and yours is not.

9. Leaving People Out

I have been in situations where we had a group of friends and then people split up. They decided to get together and leave others out. Try not to leave people out on purpose if it’s possible to include them in your get-togethers. Not all military spouses have to be invited everywhere but if you suddenly stop inviting people when you used to do so, they are going to notice.

10. Having a Baby

If two military spouses were friends for a while and then one has a baby, the friendship can change and even die. This happens because the one that had the baby is now in a different stage of life. In order to avoid this both friends need to understand the change and embrace it.

What do you find are the factors that may end a friendship among military spouses?

Calling Military Spouses ‘Simply Civilians’ Really Gets Under My Skin

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“Military spouses are just civilians.”

“Spouses are not military; they are civilians like everyone else.”

“Just because you are married to someone in the military doesn’t mean you are in the military, quit saying you are.”

Have you heard any of these phrases before?

I have.

I have even had to backtrack when someone assumed that I had served too because I said something about how “we” were in the military when talking about our experiences as a military family. That was frustrating.

I get it.

As military spouses we are not actually IN the military. I am not sure many military spouses think they are. However, life is different when you are married to someone in the military. Life is more complicated and just so different from life in a civilian family.

When my husband joined the military, everything changed. We had spent about 3 years as a married couple before he joined. When he signed up, everything was different. We were no longer a civilian family, we were a military one.

Having lived both types of lives, I see a huge difference. When people tell me they are similar, I just have to laugh. Life could be exactly the same for some military spouses, but that has not been my personal experience at all. Life changed when he enlisted.

Although military spouses are technically civilians and not in the military themselves, hearing that we are “simply civilians” can seem a bit shallow.

Hearing that can make you feel like you don’t matter or that what you have been though doesn’t matter. Hearing those words can cause military spouses to feel like they are not a part of the military when they really are.

The truth is, when you are married to a member of the military, you are not living a civilian lifestyle, you are living a military one. The military has a lot of say over your life. They tell you where you need to live, when your spouse will be home, if you will have to go months and months without seeing them, whether you can go on vacation, etc. Living a military life is very different from living a civilian one.

Before the military my husband worked a job where he left at about 7 a.m. and was home before 5 p.m. He could take time off without much issue. If he was sick, he didn’t have to go anywhere, he would just pick up the phone and call in. If we wanted to go somewhere, he didn’t have to get a special pass to go further then 250 miles. He didn’t have to get his leave approved only to have that taken away at the last minute. Life was simpler because although he had a boss and an employer, they didn’t have the same type of control over him that the military would.

We should stop saying that military spouses are “simply civilians” because it just doesn’t make any sense to do so. Yes, we know that military spouses didn’t sign up to serve in the military. We understand that but there is no reason to call us civilians. Doing so puts up a wall that doesn’t need to be there.

So what are military spouses? If we are not serving in the military but we are not quite civilians, what are we? Some sort of hybrid?

Half military, half civilian? I don’t like that description either.

I think we are military spouses and we should be called just that. Military spouses are the backbone of the military community. They are the ones that can support the military service member and help them through their career.

How do you feel when someone points out that military spouses are “simply civilians?”

Should Commissary Privilege Go to All Veterans?

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Shopping at the commissary is a great benefit of being part of the military community.

Not all veterans are authorized to shop at the commissary however.

Should the Commissary Privilege Be Extended to All Veterans?

The commissary will not allow anyone to shop there without proper ID.

There are certain qualifications that must be met to be granted access. It isn’t up to the Defense Commissary Agency (DeCA) to decide who can shop there.

The Department of Defense Instruction 1330.17, DoD Commissary Program outlines all authorized patrons to include: active duty, Guard and Reserve members, military retirees, Medal of Honor recipients, 100 percent disabled veterans and their authorized family members.

The DoD exercises close scrutiny over patronage of military commissaries to ensure the continued effectiveness of military commissaries as an integral part of the military compensation package.

This privilege is also extended to USPHS Commissioned Corps, the NOAA Commissioned Corps and its predecessors, cadets and midshipmen of the Military Service academies and Wage Marine Personnel. There are certain categories of retired military that also are granted access.

These categories include: all military personnel that are on the official retired list, whether active or reserve, who retired with pay, were granted retirement pay for a physical disability or are entitled to retirement pay even if this pay is waived or pending due to the age requirement. Enlisted men and women that are transferred to the Fleet Reserve of the Navy or Marine Corps Reserve after 20 or more years of active service are also allowed to take advantage of the commissary privilege.

Another group that is also granted access to the commissary includes: officers and crew members of vessels, lighthouses keepers and depot keepers of the former Lighthouse Service that retired. This group includes retired civilian employees of the Coast Guard who were lighthouse keepers of the previously named Lighthouse Service and who retired as civilian employees of the Coast Guard as lighthouse keepers or who were on lightships or other vessels.

Retired wage Marines, including retired noncommissioned ships officers, and those who were on NOAA are also able to utilize commissary benefits. 100 percent disabled veterans who were honorably discharged that have a 100 percent service-connected disability or those that are 100 percent unemployable can use the commissary as well.

Families that are able to shop at the commissary include: dependent children and spouses, serving family members and unmarried former spouses. These benefits are also extended to DoD civilian employees and their families when stationed outside of the United States and outside of its territories. Official DoD organizations are able to purchase goods from the commissary as well.

Some service members will leave with a short time to maintain their commissary benefits. A member that is involuntarily separated from active duty can use the commissary for 2 years after the separation. This also includes members of Select Reserve of the Ready Reserve that are separated and granted access to the commissary for 2 years. Service members that receive sole survivor discharge can shop at the commissary for 2 years after service ends.

Should the Commissary Privilege Be Extended to All Veterans?

A commissary cashier checks groceries at Tinker Air Force Base, Oklahoma. (U.S. Air Force/Margo Wright)

Employees of DeCA can purchase goods at the commissary for immediate consumption, such as for lunch while at work. Other civilians that are allowed to shop at the commissary include DoD presidentially appointed and Senate-confirmed officers and their families that live on a military installation that has a commissary. DoD civilian employees who are stationed TDY overseas can also use this benefit. Some military personnel of foreign nations can also use the commissary.

In overseas areas American National Red Cross and United Service Organizations (USO) can also take advantage of the commissary privilege. The Armed Services Young Men’s Christian Association can also shop at the commissary overseas. Emergency access may be granted to others overseas.

This is a very extensive list and a few more civilian personnel that can shop at the commissary can be found here under the DoD Instruction. Further information can also be found on this site.

Military service that does not continue through retirement are not allowed to use the commissary. This means even if you served in war and put your life on the line, you cannot use the commissary unless you stayed in until retirement.

In regard to disabled veterans, if the disability is less than 100 percent previous service members cannot shop at the commissary.  Those on delayed entry into the service cannot use the commissary either.

You can contact the Pass and ID office on a military installation to ask if your situation grants access to the commissary or not. The commissary will not allow anyone to shop there without proper ID that specifically states commissary benefits.

What do you think? Should shopping at the commissary be available to all veterans?

How to Start a Babysitting Co-op on Your Base

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Can’t afford the on-base child development center? Do you have a doctor’s appointment and don’t have anyone to watch your toddler? Want to go grocery shopping without the kids while your husband is TDY? Craving a date night with your spouse, but can’t find a babysitter?

How to Start a Babysitting Co-op on Your Base

Do you participate in a babysitting co-op?

Military families looking for affordable and flexible child care should consider joining a babysitting co-op.

What is a babysitting co-op?

A babysitting co-op is a group of parents who agree to exchange babysitting time and most operate on a point system. When you watch someone’s child, you earn points that you trade in when someone else watches your child. It’s an alternative to traditional child care and it’s free.

Babysitting co-op members can choose to watch other people’s children at their convenience. During the day, the child is dropped off at the sitter’s house. In the evening, typically the sitter comes to the children’s house.

When we were stationed in Monterey, Calif., there was a babysitting co-op for military families. But it was only for families who lived in government housing. Since we rented a house off-base we weren’t eligible to participate. But I was definitely interested in it and heard good things about it from my friends.

Let’s say you recently moved to your duty station and you’re wondering if there’s already a babysitting co-op, the easiest way to find out is through the local military spouses’ Facebook group. You can post the question there or search the files section to see if it’s already listed there.

For bases with a babysitting co-op, there is usually a separate closed Facebook group for its participants. For example, the one in Colorado Springs gives this information on its Facebook group,

A group where fellow military wives in the Colorado Springs Area ONLY! can come together to have a close group where we watch each others children, dogs, houses on a point system. To earn points-simply help another member out by watching their kids, dog, or house. If you try to join this group your profile MUST be open and information MUST be available to show that you live here.

But what if there isn’t an existing babysitting co-op? How do I start a babysitting co-op on my base? Here are 3 things you need to do to start a babysitting co-op at your military installation.

Establish Boundaries

Who can join this group? Will you limit the amount of members? Will you require an application for membership? What are the rules for joining or leaving the group?

Like I said before, there was a group at the base in Monterey. But it wasn’t open to everyone in the military. It was only for families who lived on base. Don’t be shy about establishing narrow boundaries for your babysitting co-op. You want the families involved to trust each other and have a good comfortable level.

Establish a Point System that Works for Your Group

There can be unstructured babysitting co-ops, but I think the system works better with guidelines and boundaries. That way every participant knows what is expected of him or her.

The next step in start a babysitting co-op is deciding how you will record and track babysitting points. Some groups use a spreadsheet on Google docs that every participant has access to. There’s an honor system used and members can update that document with their points. Other co-ops have cards that they hand out to parents after they babysit. They can later redeem these cards for babysitting. Search online for templates and printables before designing your own. It will save you a lot of time.

Have a Plan for Handling Disputes Among Members

A good way to avoid drama among the members of the babysitting co-op is to have a plan for resolving disputes. Every group will have parents who haven’t earned as much time as they have used. How will your group handled that? Members need to know how much notice they need to give when requesting child care. Is it 24 hours notice? Or 7 days? Other issues that may come up are bedtime, snacks, taking the children to a playground or park, television and discipline.

I think a babysitting co-op would be a great way to earn free babysitting as a military family. With initial planning and organization, the group can run effectively and efficiently for the parents and the children.

Have you participated in a babysitting co-op in the past? What’s been your experience?

Dear Santa, Military Spouses Really Want…

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This year, I’m having a very difficult time putting together my Christmas wish list and the same goes with my husband. We had the “what do you want for Christmas?” conversation as we were putting together our tree over the Thanksgiving weekend and couldn’t pinpoint anything specific to get one another.

What Military Spouses Really Want for Christmas

What do you want for Christmas?

In reality, we both already have what we truly want, especially for this holiday season. I get to see my family and spend it with my husband. I’m the happiest of campers!

That brought me to think about what us, military spouses, actually want for Christmas.

Sometimes, it’s not something that our families can buy for us. Instead, it’s a feeling, desire or something we can’t really grasp with our hands that we want for the holidays. It’s those certain things that military spouses value more than a new gift wrapped under the tree.

Military life presents circumstances that other families don’t get to endure. Despite some of the things that we may not actually get this holiday season, there is always a silver lining to our wishes that we have to remember.

Here is a short list of true desires that I feel like are on military spouses’ minds during the holiday season.

Dear Santa, this Christmas I really want…

…to locate that significant item lost from your last PCS.

We had a winter PCS to northern Virginia that took place in January 2014. My husband was coming back from an overseas assignment and spent some time in Texas before he had to report in early February 2014. When we were settling into our new home, I realized that the very first Christmas present my husband gave me when we were dating was missing. It’s a silver tennis bracelet that I adored.

I pretty much turned our new home inside out without avail. Ironically enough, my mom wrapped up a special present for me for Christmas 2014. She found that bracelet in my old bedroom as she was preparing for my holiday arrival.

Military spouses may not always find that trinket lost, so those memories become what we treasure. I was so happy it was found, but the moment that my husband gave me that gift is what I take with me.

…to spend the holidays with family from far away.

The holiday season brings joy to us and also inflated airline prices for travel! Military families have to pick and chose their battles as far as spending a great deal of time and possible money to see their extended family. Thank you supply and demand.

Despite the monetary challenge that military spouses face for travel, we have wonderful tools that help keep us connected for virtually no money. The Internet is amazing and we can practically see each other no matter where we are located. I was able to “be in the room” when my dad blew out his candles in September for his birthday.

…to have my service member home for the holidays.

Deployment rears its ugly head more times than we’d like, which can take away our loved one from us for Christmas. It stinks when it does. I don’t think I’ve ever met a military spouse that thought otherwise.

My husband was overseas for the 2014 holiday season and I’ll admit I might have complained about it more than once. But, military spouses really do have it nice with technology. When duty calls for our service member, there are ways military spouses can connect with them, similarly to our separated family members.

My father would tell me stories of him having to wait in the USO to use the phones there to call my mom when he was away. Also, he would have to wait for snail mail of Polaroids to keep track of my growth as a child.

Military spouses can use smartphones to email photos to their service member and vise versa. I was lucky to get to see my spouse on Christmas and New Year’s Day, while he was away.

What do you think military spouses really want for Christmas?

When Deployment Is the Reason Mom or Dad Won’t Be Home for the Holidays

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The holidays are coming and you are supposed to be getting excited about the season, however, this year, your spouse is not going to be there. They are going to be on a deployment or away on training.

When Deployment Is the Reason Mom or Dad Won't Be Home for Christmas

It may be hard for your child to understand why their parent is on a deployment during the holidays.

Many military families have been through this. For us personally, my husband has missed quite a few holidays because he has been deployed or had to be away from us for different reasons.

As soon as you know that your spouse will be deployed for the holidays, you need to make a plan to tell your kids. If they are very young you might not have to say much if anything at all. Just do what you would normally do.

If they are older and can understand what is going on, let them know that a parent will be gone because of a deployment. Explain to them that the parent who has to be away because of the deployment wants to be there for the holidays but they will not be able to. Share how much they will miss being home during that time.

Help the child understand that the deployment is the reason the parent will be gone and not because they don’t want to be there.

When Deployment Is the Reason Mom or Dad Won't Be Home for Christmas

Plan to decorate and celebrate, even if your spouse isn’t home this holiday season.

If there is a small chance that your spouse might make it home in time, don’t tell your children about that. Planning to surprise them later with the news that the deployment is over would be better than having to tell them that their mom or dad will not be there after you told them they would be.

After you have told your children you should decide what you will do during the holidays when your spouse is deployed. Some people decide to visit family. I was able to do this one year and being with family made that time during the deployment a lot easier on me and my son.

If you can not visit family, maybe you can have someone come to you. Ask your family to see if anyone is willing to come if they do not offer. They might not realize how much being there would be able to help you during the deployment.

Another option is to find friends to spend the day with who are also in the middle of a deployment. We did this with my husband’s second deployment. He was going to be gone for Christmas so I made a plan with a few of my friends. We had Christmas at our own homes and then met at a friend’s house to make a Christmas meal together. That way, we were not alone, our kids would have other children to play with and being with others helped us not dwell on the fact that our husbands were deployed. The day went well and we all had a great time.

If your spouse is going to be gone for the whole holiday season you should still plan to decorate and celebrate as much as you can.

Some parts of the holiday will be different. You might not make a big meal and you won’t be able to play Santa together but keeping a lot of the same traditions as you normally do each year is important for the kids. You don’t want them to feel like they are missing out on everything just because their mom or dad is deployed.

Try to keep your spirits up during this time. Remember that the deployment will be over eventually and you can always have a belated celebration then. Do the best you can to make the holidays great for you and your children even if your spouse is gone on a deployment.

What are your tips for talking to your children about deployment during the holiday season?

5 Military-Themed Elf on the Shelf Ideas

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Children go crazy over Elf on the Shelf and many parents across the world love it and have fun creating magical moments with their children. I am very excited to join in the Elf on the Shelf craze with our 2-year-old this year. There are so many fun ideas to get the family into the holiday spirit.

5 Military-Themed Elf on the Shelf Ideas

What is Elf on the Shelf?

For those that haven’t heard of it yet, it is an exciting way to bring the holidays alive. You can purchase one of Santa’s scout elves at most retailers across America and online. These elves are magical helpers that enable Santa to manage his naughty and nice list. They watch children throughout the day and then report to Santa about their behavior nightly. Once a family gives the elf a name it becomes magical and can fly back to the North Pole each night. When it returns to the family’s home, it chooses a new place each day to watch the children.

The personality of your elf reflects the family. Your Elf on the Shelf may be crafty, mischievous, silly or simply fun. Children will have fun each morning hunting for the elf. Is it in the living room, the bathroom or kitchen? What has he been up to all night since flying back to the family?

Here are 5 military-themed Elf on the Shelf ideas to bring the fun to your home.

 

Military Elf on the Shelf

5 Elf on the Shelf Ideas for Military Families

Military Elf on the Shelf idea by Veterans United Network.

Dress your magical Elf on the Shelf in his very own ACUs/BDUs and make dog tags out of aluminum foil to start the season off in real military style. You don’t need to break out the sewing machine for this cute outfit. You can find camouflage tape at craft stores.

Salute the Flag

I love this idea by Picklehead Soup blog. Set up your Elf on the Shelf under the tree so the light is shinning bright on your elf. Position him so that he is saluting the American flag. If you have a GI Joe or other uniformed toy have it hold the flag. Don’t have an action figure like this? Use the camouflage tape you dressed the elf in previously. Using this position on December 7 can give you the opportunity to talk to your children about Pearl Harbor.

5 Elf on the Shelf Ideas for Military Families

Elf on the Shelf saluting the American flag by Picklehead Soup.

American Hero Elf on the Shelf Support

Is your service member deployed? This is a great way to have your Elf on the Shelf include them in the family holiday fun. You can purchase a small picture frame at the Exchange or make one yourself. Position the Elf on the Shelf tucked in bed holding a picture of the deployed parent. This will show that your elf is also thinking of mom or dad and make the children feel like this is a personal experience.

5 Elf on the Shelf Ideas for Military Families

Phot by Rachel Affield via Pinterest.

Patriotic Elf

Is your military spouse about to deploy? Did you recently move? There’s likely to be a collection of military gear around the house. Gather a group of items and have your elf sit with it. This shows that your elf knows what’s going on and is there with the family.

5 Elf on the Shelf Ideas for Military Families

Jennie Furlow’s Elf on the Shelf supporting Daddy via Blue Star Families.

The Crafty Elf on the Shelf

If you have an extra set of ACUs/BDUs have your elf get a little crafty. If you don’t have any extras, you’ll likely find some at thrift stores. Cut up a portion of them and position him with a pair of scissors sitting next to it as though he did it. This could be a good way to introduce your children into the fun craft of making military-themed ornaments.

5 Elf on the Shelf Ideas for Military Families

KB Crafting Solutions has an inspired Elf on the Shelf.

There are so many patriotic ways to bring military life into your home this holiday season. Have fun and be creative.

Share your Elf on the Shelf ideas in the comments section.

5 Tips for Shopping at the Commissary When Your Child Has a Food Allergy

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When you have a family member with a food allergy or on a special diet, grocery shopping can be challenging. You want to shop at the commissary because of the great benefits but doing so can feel a bit overwhelming when you need to find certain foods for your family.

Here are 5 tips for finding the items you need and still saving money at the commissary when your child has a food allergy.

Don’t ever feel like you can’t shop at the commissary because of your family’s special needs when it comes to food.

Here are 5 tips for ways you can find the items you need and still save money at the commissary.

  1. Make a plan. Go to the commissary when you have plenty of time to do so. Walk through each aisle. Read labels. Knowing exactly what is in the food is the best way to figure out what your commissary has and what they don’t. I know in our commissary at Ft. Campbell we do have a small section of foods that are great for those with allergies. Not all commissaries might have them. If you can spend some time walking around you will know what they have and what they don’t and what you will be able to buy there.
  2. Ask for what you need. If you can’t find certain foods that you need, ask to talk to someone about what can be done. Your commissary could have what you are looking for and you just missed it. They could be out of the particular item or they might not realize that people are looking for a certain food. By talking to someone in charge you can let them know what you are looking for and maybe they can add what they don’t have to their inventory. Any foods that will be added will need to be approved by DeCA and the process could take a while but making a request can be worth the time if you can get more foods that you need stocked in your commissary. You can also make a request using the Customer Comment Form online.
  3. Plan for those must-have specialty items. If you can’t find certain foods in the commissary and you still need to buy them, you might need to make a plan. Start off your weekly shopping trip at the commissary to get everything else so you can keep your grocery bill low. Then, make plans to stop at a specialty shop to get the foods you need that the commissary doesn’t carry. You should make sure to check back at the commissary after a few months to see if they have added that product.
  4. Skip the deli. As nice as the deli section of the commissary is, if you have a family member with food allergies, skipping that section would be best. You won’t be able to read the ingredients and you won’t know exactly what is in the food that you buy. You don’t want to end up assuming that a certain food item is safe when it isn’t. You can also ask the deli worker how they prepare the food.
  5. Search and find substitutes. In some cases you will want to pick out an alternative food for one that would cause problems for you or one of your children. For example, instead of bringing home some ice cream, pick out a fruit-based dessert for those in your family with a milk allergy. You can involve your children in the process by allowing them to pick out what that alternative food is going to be.

Finding good and healthy foods when you have someone on a special diet can be a difficult task. With a lot of planning and using these tips, you should be able to find what you are looking for. Don’t ever feel like you can’t shop at the commissary because of your family’s special needs when it comes to food.

How do you save money when grocery shopping for specialty items for your family?

More and More Military Children Are Missing Their Vaccinations

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We all want to keep our children healthy and on track with immunizations, but it can be tricky when you constantly move. Switching doctors multiple times becomes frustrating when you have to repeatedly ask for your medical records to be sent to your new provider. You come to trust and rely on one doctor and then before you know it, it’s time to move again. Transitioning to a new health care provider can be stressful on both parents and military children.

Navigating the military health care system can be quite frustrating and keeping your military children on target for immunizations becomes difficult.

How can you as a parent of military children ensure they get the proper treatment on time?

According to a study published by the American Academy of Pediatrics this year, 28% of military children between the ages of 19 and 35 months are not up to date on their immunizations compared with 21.1% of all other insured or uninsured U.S. children.

The conclusion of the study was that the most likely reason for this is that military children move so often.

Two other reasons for this include the lack of a universal military children immunization registry to collect and store all the records of immunizations as well as incomplete documentation of vaccinations.

Some parents of military children are diligent about keeping track of their kids’ vaccination schedules and continue to make appointments on time no matter where they are stationed. There are an array of circumstances that could prevent military children from receiving regular medical care however that is beyond the parents’ control. There was an Hib (haemophilus influenza type b) shortage between 2007–2009, which prevented many military children from receiving this shot, for example.

Not all doctors recommend the same shots, nor do they all follow the same timeline for when each vaccination should take place. The American Academy of Pediatrics does provide a recommended schedule of vaccinations that is meant to introduce immunizations at a particular period in a child’s development, but it isn’t always followed. Some parents fear the potential risks that may be involved with different shots or getting multiple shots in one visit.

This can lead to some vaccinations being delayed or missed all together for military children.

Finding a new medical provider and getting an appointment each time the military sends a family and their military children to a new military installation can be difficult.

In small hospitals, such as the one on NSF Dahlgren which only has 2 doctors, it can be difficult to get an appointment. It can be just as hard to get an appointment at military treatment facilities on large military installations where there are many doctors because there are so many military children and other dependents trying to make appointments.

How can you as a parent of military children ensure they get the proper treatment on time?

Most importantly, you should keep track of their medical records and not rely on a hospital to do it for you. Ask for a copy of the documentation of each vaccine they receive at the time of that appointment. You can get an immunization tracker card from your health care provider. You will need a copy of your child’s immunizations for child care, school enrollment, camps and international travel and it is much easier to have this on hand than to wait for your clinic to provide one.

Take the time to become knowledgeable about vaccines. If a previous physician has recommended an immunization and your new one does not, or vise versa, you need to know why and be able to make an informed decision as to whose recommendation you want to follow. Some doctors suggest spreading out vaccines while others lump multiple shots into one office visit. You need to understand why and speak up if you want to separate them.

If you are able to, while you are at the doctor’s office, make the next appointment for your military children to have their next well visit. This will ensure that you keep them on time for getting the next round of vaccinations.

If the office does not make appointments that far in advance then put a reminder on your calendar to call closer to the date needed. It’s easy to tell yourself you’ll remember to do so, but life gets in the way and especially when the military sends you and your military children to a new location.

What has been your child’s experience with the military’s health care system? Are they getting their vaccinations on time?