Military Life News

Military Life News, Commissary Rewards and Military Discounts

How to Snag a Low Cost or Free Dress for Military Balls

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By Marguerite Cleveland

Military Balls are a fun, exciting event to attend and who doesn’t love seeing their spouse in a dress uniform. While a great time, attire for a formal function can get expensive. Here are a few tips to help reduce the cost.

  • Many military spouses clubs host events offering free dresses. Visit Operation Deploy Your Dress a military spouse nonprofit that collects new and gently used formal attire and gives it out for free to military and dependent ID Cardholders.
  • The USO hosts an event at military installations across the country called Operation That’s My Dress. If you are lucky enough to have this event come to your area, it is the full princess experience. In addition to a designer ball gown or dress there is a high energy fashion show and lots of swag. The best part, it’s totally free.  Visit The USO.
  • Check out the Thrift Shop on your installation. They often have great deals on formal gowns. Early in December and May are peak seasons for people to get rid of things. Local thrift shops and Goodwill are also good options. When shopping thrift shops think vintage to come up with a unique look. Consignment shops will give you a better option for picking up a designer dress and will often come at a higher price. I often find better deals when shopping sales.
  • Trade with friends. This is a great way to get more mileage out of your own dresses. Trade or borrow with friends. I’ve often lent dresses to other spouses. You can make a fun event out of it by inviting over a group of ladies and have everyone bring dresses they would like to trade.
  • Lastly shop when you don’t need a dress. Every time you are out at a department store make sure to peek in the formal dress section. I’ve often lucked out and found a gown for under $50. My biggest score was at a Laura Ashley Outlet and they had a rack of formal gowns and bridesmaids dresses for $7 each. Needless to say I stocked up. I even bought ones that didn’t fit me because I was sure someone I knew could wear it.

Before you pluck down big bucks for a gown, try a few of these suggestions. You never know what treasure you may find.

Marguerite Cleveland is a freelance writer who specializes in human interest and travel stories. She is a military brat, a veteran and now a military spouse.  Her military experience is vast as the daughter of a Navy man who served as an enlisted sailor and then Naval Officer. She served as an enlisted soldier in the reserves and on active duty, then as an Army Officer. She currently serves as a military spouse. She lives in the Pacific Northwest with her husband and two sons. Visit her website www.WanderWordsWine.com

Alternative Thanksgiving Meal Options for Troops and Veterans

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Our troops and veterans are scattered far and wide around the country, often far from family to boot. All that distance can make the holidays awfully lonely.

There are several great out-of-the-box options for active duty troops and veterans to celebrate this Thanksgiving!

Alternative Thanksgiving Meal Options for Troops and Veterans

Your military family is ready to support you this Thanksgiving with fellowship and feasting.

On-Base Thanksgiving Banquets

Around the US and across the globe, military installations host Thanksgiving meals for thousands of service members, veterans, and their families.

If you’re in the barracks or forward deployed, head to your neighborhood chow hall. The talented chefs and dedicated personnel help to make the holidays feel more home-like with feasts fit for kings (and queens). You’ll be able to enjoy turkey, all the fixings, dessert, and camaraderie with your fellow service members.

Not deployed or in the barracks? Military installations have Thanksgiving handled for you, too!

MCCS, FSS, and MWR run restaurant facilities on installations worldwide generally prepare a Thanksgiving meal that is open to anyone with base access or on-base privileges. There is usually a very reasonable fee associated with on-base restaurant-hosted. Many are served family-style or as a giant buffet full of appetizers, entrees, sides, and desserts.

Each base might have a slightly different twist on Thanksgiving, both at the chow hall and at the family buffet. Look out for regional specialties alongside your traditional favorites! In Okinawa, you might find soba soup sitting next to the stuffing. Perhaps your SoCal feast will feature some Southwestern flavors, like enchiladas or fajitas. Down in the Carolinas, smokey barbeque could be the guest of honor alongside the big turkey.

Veterans’ Group Feasts

VFW and American Legion posts often host Thanksgiving celebrations for free. You may need to be a member or a guest of a member to join the feast.

This is a great opportunity to connect with your fellow veterans and build community.

Volunteers and donations, of food or money, are welcome for these events. The general community is encouraged to support our military veterans during the holidays, even if you are not a VFW or AL member.

For information, contact your local VFW or AL post.

Other veterans’ groups near you may also offer Thanksgiving meal opportunities. Contact your local veteran service organization chapters for more information. You can find general contact information on this VSO approved list from the VA.

Host or Join a Friendsgiving

Military families have been doing Friendsgiving since before it was something cool or even called Friendsgiving.

Basically, get together with a whole bunch of your nearest and dearest friends. Divvy up the food responsibilities between all the guests. Make sure that someone is tasked with bringing plates, silverware, and drinks.

On Thanksgiving, gather together and enjoy excellent food plus great company!

It helps to be really organized when planning a Friendsgiving. Keep a running list going that details who is bringing what. Ask which dishes need a space in the oven, which can be reheated in the microwave, and which are okay as-is.

Teaming up with a neighbor or hosting at a larger community space can be crucial. You’ll get more oven space, plus extra room to enjoy throughout the day.

Have a plan for Thanksgiving events, like crafts for the kids and maybe watching the big game for the adults. It will help to keep peace and provide activities outside of the kitchen.

Adopt-a-Single Service Member

There’s always room for one more at the Thanksgiving table! Your family can help make the holidays feel more cozy and loving by extending an invitation to single troops on your local military base.

If you’re hosting Thanksgiving this year, save space at your table for a few single service members or veterans.

Reach out to your local military base and connect with their morale program office. Or contact a specific unit and speak to the family readiness leader. These folks can help you spread the word.

Share your event date and location. Be sure to include how many seats you have available and a little about your family dynamics. As guests RSVP, ask them about their food allergies or aversions. You’d hate to dish up a dairy-filled meal to someone who honestly can’t eat it!

Stay in contact as Thanksgiving approaches. You could even invite your new friends to join other turkey day events. Plan to get together for a local turkey trot before you eat. Setting up video chats with their families back home might also be a nice way to help them feel at home. Play board games or go outside for a game of touch football.

Troops and Veterans: how have you celebrated the holidays far from home? Share your favorite tips, tricks, and memories!

Thanksgiving Meal Assistance for Service Members & Military Families

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Thanksgiving is traditionally a day of plenty. However, putting all that food on the table can be a struggle on tight military budgets.

Many military families may qualify for Thanksgiving meal assistance from military support organizations.

Thanksgiving Meal Assistance for Service Members & Military Families

If your family could use a boost this holiday season, check out these great opportunities to build your festive feast.

Operation We Are Here

Enjoy a turkey and all the fixings with Holidays Meals for Military from Operation We Are Here! Registration is still available for many 2018 events.

In 2010, Ken Ruff witnessed a young military family struggle to pay for their Thanksgiving meal. They had run into unexpected expenses after their soldier returned from deployment. Ken stepped in to pay for their groceries — under $20 total.

It bothered him that military families were unable to celebrate Thanksgiving with a good meal. That year, he pledged to help military families put food on the table during the holidays.

Currently, Holiday Meals for Military helps over 10,000 families in over 40 locations around the US. Meal kids include turkey, stuffing, gravy, cranberry sauce, and veggies to feed a family of four.

Thanksgiving events end on November 17, but Operation We Are Here plans to host Christmas events in December. For more information, check out their Facebook page.

Sheep Dog Impact Assistance

Sheep Dog Impact Assistance offers a Thanksgiving meal program for the “sheep dogs” in our country. If you are currently serving, or have served, in the US military, with EMS, law enforcement, or fire and rescue, SDIA could help you have a happy holiday season.

The deadline to apply for SDIA’s Thanksgiving meal program is November 15.

The application requires proof of service, like a DD214 or other official document. SDIA also takes into account the number of people in your household, plus any dietary restrictions.

The goal is to provide families in need with complete Thanksgiving feasts on Turkey Day.

Armed Services YMCA

Each year, ASYMCA locations donate over 25,000 baskets of food to junior enlisted families in need during the holiday season.

Baskets may vary, but will likely include traditional Thanksgiving feast fixings.

To register for a basket, please visit your local ASYMCA.

Spirit of Sharing (S.O.S.)

Through their Adopt-a-Military-Family program, S.O.S. helps connect military families in need with resources to make the holiday season merry.

For families in need of assistance, S.O.S. accepts nominations of deserving families throughout the year into the Adopt-a-Military-Family program. Provide information about your family’s needs and military service through the online application to be considered for assistance in 2018.

Soldier’s Angels

Holding a festive holiday celebration when someone is deployed, missing, or your family is dealing with struggles can be hard. Soldiers’ Angels is here to help with their Adopt-a-Family holiday program.

Families must meet certain qualifying criteria to register. Once accepted, families are “adopted” by volunteers who aim to help them host a holiday to remember through donations and other assistance.

Other Local Organizations

For military families who will have trouble holding a Thanksgiving feast, there is also local help available.

Please reach out to the local branch of these organizations and services:

  • United Way: many branches offer community Thanksgiving meals and/or Thanksgiving baskets to low-income families
  • YMCA: some branches may offer Thanksgiving food assistance to families in need
  • Food Banks: many local and regional food bank groups offer additional food and assistance to families during the holiday season
  • Salvation Army: Salvation Army posts may offer community meals and/or holiday food assistance baskets to families in need
  • USO: some locations may host meals for military families or troops or use the USO to help get connected with other organizations that offer Thanksgiving food assistance programs
  • Veterans’ Service Organizations: your local VFW, American Legion, or similar groups may offer Thanksgiving assistance for families locally
  • Banks and Credit Unions: many local branches may offer, or know about, a program in your area that provides assistance
  • Grocery stores: many run food drives that are either independent from or connected with local food assistance organizations; contact a manager to learn more

Other Options for Food Assistance

For some families, that holiday budget might be tight but you might not quite qualify for food assistance programs. This holiday season, try these tips to bring things in under budget.

  • Coupons: Be extra savvy with your coupon clipping and look out for deals that give you bonus offers. The Commissary is currently running a coupon deal that nets you money off of a turkey when purchasing participating products with a particular coupon. Look for the circular in your mailbox or your local Commissary!
  • Potluck: Cut costs when you team up with other families for holiday feasts. Plan to split the costs of the turkey or another main course, then provide family-style sides and dessert to share.
  • Keep it small: Turkey might be traditional, but chicken can be a whole lot cheaper. Switch out your feast items for similar, but less costly, items. Use chicken instead of turkey, make homemade gravy, and consider reducing the number of sides to keep costs in check.

How do you keep your holiday meal budget in check? Share your cost cutting ideas, or places to seek assistance near your military base, in the comments!

 

Smithfield Foods Hosts ‘Bacon for Life’ Sweepstakes

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ATTENTION ALL BACON LOVERS! Did you know you could enter to win a lifetime of FREE BACON? Yes, that’s right, we said free bacon for life!

Smithfield Foods is hosting the ‘Bacon for Life’ Sweepstakes and one Grand Prize Winner will receive a lifetime of free bacon. Can you imagine what you could do with free bacon for life? BLT’s, bacon topped soups, bacon wrapped pork, maple bacon donuts, bacon, egg & cheese sandwiches, asparagus wrapped in bacon, baked bacon, bacon wrapped scallops, fried bacon, bacon and eggs, bacon and grits, bacon on the side, bacon wrapped figs, candied bacon, bacon for breakfast, bacon for lunch and bacon for dinner! The list goes on…get inspired by one of Smithfield’s recipes here.

Even if you’re not lucky enough to become the One Grand Prize Winner and earn free bacon for life, Smithfield Foods will award five First Prize Winners with a year of free bacon. Five Second Prize Winners will be awarded a bacon bicycle. Ten Third Prize Winners will receive a cornhole board. Five hundred Fourth Prize Winners will be awarded bacon pint glasses. And five hundred Fifth Prize Winners will receive bacon slap koozies. That’s A LOT of bacon swag!

 

Don’t wait! Enter now. Here’s how:

  1. Purchase or Mail In (No Purchase Necessary)
  2. Enter Code
  3. Chance to Win

Sweepstakes ends December 31, 2018 11:59 p.m. E.T. *For more details and Official Rules, visit www.baconforlifesweeps.com

Discounts and Freebies to Expect from Your Favorite Restaurants this Veterans Day

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It always feels nice to be appreciated. This Veterans Day, those who have served our nation will have the chance to feel the love!

Military veterans, as well as those serving on active duty, can take advantage of great Veteran’s Day deals and discounts.

Discounts and Freebies to Expect from Your Favorite Restaurants this Veteran’s Day

This year, there are tons of exciting restaurant meal discounts and freebies available to veterans and active duty troops.

Before you head out the door, double check the date and time of the meal deal. Some locations are offering discounts or freebies on Sunday, November 11. Others are thanking veterans on Monday, November 12. Each restaurant also has a specific timeframe during which their deal is valid. Different meals and drinks are available during breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Be sure to bring your military identification with you to the restaurant. The staff will need to verify your service. Other options are to wear your uniform, as allowed by your branch of service, presenting a DD214, VA ID card, or another document that verifies your identity as a veteran, active duty troop,  or member of the Guard, or Reserve forces.

If you play your cards right, you might not need to pay for food all day!

Start Your Veterans Day with Breakfast & Coffee

Get your morning started right with breakfast. Take advantage of free coffee, donuts, pancakes, and more!

  • Village Inn: Grab a free breakfast from Village Inn on Sunday, November 11.
  • Dunkin’ Donuts: Pick up a free donut, one per ID, while supplies last on Sunday, November 11.
  • Krispy Kreme: Get yourself a complimentary donut with a cup of coffee at Krispy Kreme on Sunday, November 11.
  • IHOP: Dig into a stack of Red, White, and Blue Pancakes from IHOP on Monday, November 12.
  • LaMar’s: Bring a military ID with you to claim a free donut plus a 12 oz. coffee from LaMar’s on Sunday, November 11.
  • Country Kitchen: Enjoy a Country Scramble at Country Kitchen on Monday, November 12 when you bring your military ID.
  • Friendly’s: Pick from breakfast, lunch, or dinner at Friendly’s on Sunday, November 11.
  • Perkin’s: Order a Magnificent 7 breakfast meal at Perkin’s on Sunday, November 11.
  • Bakers Square: Choose between pancakes, waffles, and french toast meals at Bakers Square locations on Sunday, November 11.
  • Bruegger’s Bagels: Enjoy a hot coffee, any size, from Bruegger’s Bagels on Monday, November 12.

Try a Free Appetizer on Veterans Day

Treat Yourself to Lunch or Dinner on Veterans Day

Take a break for a complimentary meal, at lunch or dinner, at your favorite restaurants. Will you be heading out for steak, burgers, Mexican, or barbeque?

Head to a Buffet for a Free Apps to Dessert Experience

Fill your plate, again and again, at a free buffet this Veterans Day!

  • Cicis: Enjoy pizza, pasta, and more at Cicis on Sunday, November 11.
  • Golden Corral: Golden Corral will open it’s famous buffet to all military members, past and present, from 5-9pm on Monday, November 12.

Enjoy a Sweet Treat on Veterans Day

Finish your Veterans Day with a yummy dessert!

  • Cracker Barrel: Savor a yummy, down-home dessert at Cracker Barrel on Sunday, November 11.
  • Menchies: What topping will you add to your fro-yo? Go nuts on Sunday, November 11 at Menchies!

Remember, some offers are only valid on Sunday, November 11 while others are for Monday, November 12. Each freebie’s conditions vary. Bring documentation of your military service, like wearing your uniform or carrying your ID, with you to the restaurant just in case.

It is also advised that you call your local restaurant location in advance. Not all locations participate. You could also check with national, regional, and local restaurants in your area to see if they offer a discount or free meal that is not otherwise advertised.

Which free meal will you be enjoying on Veterans Day? Let us know your favorite Veterans Day deals and discounts in the comments!

Celebrating Military Families: In November Commissaries Recognize Uniqueness, Sacrifices of Service Lifestyle

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NEWS RELEASE

Defense Commissary Agency

Corporate Communications

1300 E Avenue, Fort Lee, VA 23801-1800

Tel: (804) 734-8000, Ext. 8-6105  DSN: 687-8000, Ext. 8-6105

FAX: (804) 734-8248 DSN: 687-8248

www.commissaries.com

 

 

Release Number:         74-18                                                                                                                       

Date:                              October 25, 2018

Media Contact:             Kevin L. Robinson, public affairs specialist

Tel.:                                (804) 734-8000, Ext. 4-8773

E-mail:                           kevin.robinson@deca.mil

 

Celebrating military families

In November, commissaries recognize uniqueness, sacrifices of service lifestyle

By Kathy Milley,

DeCA Corporate Communications

 

FORT LEE, Va. – Military life is not easy on families. Theirs is an ever-changing environment brought on by continuous military moves. It means frequent extended absences of a spouse.

For Lisa Molinari, who writes the military family blog “The Meat and Potatoes of Life,” it meant difficulties maintaining a legal career with such a transient lifestyle – 11 moves within eight different locations. It also meant caring for a special needs son while in duty stations with limited services.

“It’s the little things and frankly, when someone tells my husband – or even me – ‘Thank you for your service,’ this means so much more than one might expect,” said Lisa Molinari, a long-time Navy spouse.

“We know the challenges of a 28-year military career, so when someone acknowledges that a military family has made sacrifices to serve the country, it is very meaningful and appreciated.”

During November’s celebration of Military Family Month, the Defense Commissary Agency offers its thanks in acknowledgement of all those emotional goodbyes, transitions and sacrifices that are part of military service life, said Defense Commissary Agency Deputy Director Michael Dowling.

“We are proud to serve our resilient military families, understanding the stresses they endure,” Dowling said. “Striving to provide a valuable benefit, we work hard every day to say thank you by bringing a feeling of home to our military families no matter where in the world they may be.”

Commissary support goes far to inject a sense of normalcy in the unusual situations that military families face wherever they’re stationed, Molinari said.

“With all the instability of military life due to frequent changes in location, schools and homes, commissaries provided a bit of consistency that was always comforting,” said Molinari.

“No matter where we lived,” she added, “I was able to shop at a commissary and not feel lost – I knew the routine, I knew the products, I knew the prices and I knew that someone would always bag my groceries for me. Sometimes it’s the little things that keep a military spouse from going crazy.”

Anyone, even those not military affiliated, can give a military family the feeling of home by sending them a commissary gift card offered for purchase by authorized patrons at every store worldwide and by anyone online at commissaries.com.

-DeCA-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Can You Still Vote Absentee in the Mid-term Elections?

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By Marguerite Cleveland

With the November, 2018 Election coming up it is nonstop coverage on local, national news and social media. Typically turnout for midterm elections is less than in a Presidential election year but 2018 could see record voting. There seems to be a lot more energy about voting this year. If you procrastinated, can you still vote absentee in the mid-term elections? The answer is maybe and is state specific. Here are a few tips and things you need to know to navigate the process.

  • Call or go into the Voting Assistance Office at the installation you are stationed at. They are very helpful and provide the following services: information on voter registration and the absentee ballot procedures, material on the voting process, how to request an absentee ballot and mailing the completed forms. Assistance is available to all uniformed service members and their eligible family members and some eligible civilians.
  • Visit the Federal Voting Assistance Program at www.FVAP.gov. Click on the tab for military voters. Then click on Voter Registration and Ballots. This will give you a map of the United States. Click on your state to find out the dates to request and mail in a ballot.
  • Will my absentee ballot be counted? According to www.Vote.org, “Yes, all votes are counted, whether they’re cast in-person or by absentee ballot.  It is a common misconception that absentee ballots are only counted during very tight races.  This misconception stems from two things: one, absentee ballots are often counted for days after the election since many are coming from abroad; two, absentee ballots are often a small percentage of all voted ballots.  Many elections have a clear winner, so the absentee ballots that are still being counted after election night don’t affect the results as predicted right after the polls close.  As absentee voting becomes more popular, however, an increasing number of elections are decided by absentee ballots.
  • Your home of record is where you came into the service. Your voting residence is the state on your LES for tax purposes. These may or may not be the same. When registering to vote; register for the state on your LES. Do not register to vote in the state you are stationed at! Registering to vote is one step to making that state your residence and if you are in a state that has state income tax it could have a big financial impact. Also be aware that your spouse does not automatically share the same voting residence. Refer to your Voting Assistance Office for help if you aren’t sure.

In the future, plan ahead so that you can vote in your state’s elections. When you PCS, make sure you update your address with your state. If you need to register to vote make sure you do so by the beginning of October which is the cutoff for some states. Your vote does count so make sure your voice is heard no matter where you currently live.

Marguerite Cleveland is a freelance writer who specializes in human interest and travel stories. She is a military brat, a veteran and now a military spouse.  Her military experience is vast as the daughter of a Navy man who served as an enlisted sailor and then Naval Officer. She served as an enlisted soldier in the reserves and on active duty, then as an Army Officer. She currently serves as a military spouse. She lives in the Pacific Northwest with her husband and two sons. Visit her website www.WanderWordsWine.com

Military Shoppers Travel and Rewards

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By Marguerite Cleveland

Love to travel but prices cramping your style? Did you know Militaryshoppers.com has a travel club that you can join for free?  The Military Shoppers Travel Club is a program you sign up for online and you can use to receive discounts on all kinds of travel, including resort stays, flights, car rentals and activities. It allows travel businesses to show their appreciation to Active Duty military, those retired and the Guard and Reserves of all branches by providing special military discounts. In addition, the club offers contests, sweepstakes and prize drawings.

Score discounts at over 700,000 hotels in 198 countries worldwide.  More than 3000 family resorts in some of the hottest vacation destinations offer discounted 7 night stays. Top names in car rentals and flight participate in the program. View the activities section to get ideas for fun things to do on your next trip.

The stunning Skamania Lodge located on the Washington side of the Columbia River Gorge is one of more than 700,000 hotels and resorts offering discounts through Military Shoppers Travel and Rewards Program.                      Photo credit: Marguerite Cleveland

The travel club works on a point system. Each point is worth $1 towards a travel discount off the public rate. The amount of points you can use varies based on the property, flight etc. Each time you book through the club you earn points towards your next travel.  There are three levels, Blue, Silver and Gold. The first level is Blue which is free.  This level starts you out with 100 points worth $100 USD. This is a complimentary annual award. At this level you receive discounts off Hotel nightly stays, tours, flights, car rentals, and save up to $50 off weekly stays.  You will earn 10 points for every $100 you spend.

If you travel more frequently a premium membership might be of greater value.  The Silver Level is $4.99 per month or $49.99 a year.  This gives you similar benefits to the Blue level but at a higher reward level.  Your complementary annual award points are 250 which equates to $250 USD. You will earn 15 points per $100 spent and you will get a discount of up to $100 towards a weekly stay. Shopping is added to the discounts you will receive.

Photo credit: Marguerite Cleveland

The best value is the Gold premium value which is $7.99 per month or $79.99 per year.  This level gets you 500 complimentary annual award points for a $500 USD value.  You will earn 20 points per $100 spent. The weekly stay discount is up to $200 USD. This level adds cruise discounts and a concierge service.

Visit www.militaryshopperstravel.com or click the link on the www.Militaryshoppers.com site to learn more about the travel club. With the Blue level a free option, you can sign up with your email address and look around the site to see what discounts can benefit you and your family.

 

 

Marguerite Cleveland is a freelance writer who specializes in human interest and travel stories. She is a military brat, a veteran and now a military spouse.  Her military experience is vast as the daughter of a Navy man who served as an enlisted sailor and then Naval Officer. She served as an enlisted soldier in the reserves and on active duty, then as an Army Officer. She currently serves as a military spouse. She lives in the Pacific Northwest with her husband and two sons. Visit her website www.WanderWordsWine.com

How To Handle Deployment When You Have Children

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Being a military child can be very challenging. The deployment stage can be a difficult transition for them, which sometimes, may last a lifetime. But, through this unfortunate period, it’s not impossible for a child to be okay.

You might be wondering:

What are the ways I could prepare my child when the time comes?

Will they get used to it? Ever?

What will happen when my partner comes back?

It’s very important to remember that both children and parents need to work on this transition together. In this article, we’re breaking down the deployment transition at different ages.

Babies and Toddlers
Babies and Toddlers are quite young to comprehend this transition. Yet, they do feel things. So, here are some important points to bear in mind.
Babies
Dealing with babies can be a bit tough. If the deployment happens during their infancy, then there’ll be concerns about how the baby will adjust to the parent when they come back home.

Fear not, here are a couple of things you can do to prepare them while your partner is deployed:

● Photographs:
Show your baby photos of the absent parent. You can hang them around the baby’s room.
● Audio Clips:
Play recorded audio clips of their dad. They’ll be acquainted with his voice.
● Video Calls:
Use the internet! Skype! Seeing and hearing their dad/mom’s face and voice may affect the baby far more than you think.
● Scent:
Wrap your baby around with their absent parent’s clothes. Let your baby get used to the scent.

Even though babies are too young to process deployment, however, they’ll still notice the absence of one of their parents. Babies can feel their parent’s stress and anxiety.

They become ten times crankier when they sense it. So, it’s supremely important you stay calm and take good care of yourself first.

Toddlers
Toddlers can be a handful even if there is no deployed parent in the picture. It shouldn’t be too hard to imagine how they will behave when the parent IS deployed.

Unlike babies, toddlers can understand and remember things. They might not understand exactly what deployment is, but they’ll realize the absence of one of their parents. It’s a difficult conversation to have with a toddler.

It’s essential to sit with them before the deployment. Being in touch with them is also very important.

They need to be reassured that their deployed parent loves them immensely and will come back soon. Video calls, photographs, and messages go a long way for toddlers as well.

Kindergarten
A kindergarten going military kid can be a different type of challenge to handle altogether. At this age, kids usually already have formed an attachment with their deployed parent.

It can be stressful for the parent staying behind. Having to play the role of an absent father/mother is no mean feat.

All the special games they might have played together, all the secrets shared, and the behavioral patterns they have associated with the absent parent can be a lot to take in.

Thus, have a one-on-one with your child. Explain to them as clearly as possible that this is a temporary phase and that their deployed parent will be back. Encourage them to stay connected.

Here are a few ways that can be done:

● Letters or Emails – Encourage them to write a letter to their dad/mom. Help them type up an email if they can process it.

● Performance charts – Make a chart listing all their achievements. It can be a little achievement like playing a new game, learning to swim, etc.

It’s a knotty situation to be in. Disciplining them can be complicated, especially when they’re testing your patience. They’ll often be unruly and rebellious at this age.

Kids act out when they are unable to express themselves properly. Having your partner be active throughout the deployment stage can help your kids be more compliant.

Plan with your partner to send occasional gifts to keep the kids in line. It’ll be an incentive for them to be in their best behavior.

School Going Kids
School going kids know what deployment is. It’s likely they’ll friends whose parents are also being deployed. So they’ll have a mutual understanding of the situation.

For your kids to understand what deployment is wins you half the battle. The best thing you both can do is be open to your children. It’s vital you and your partner do this before and also during the stages of deployment.

The goal here is to make your children understand that you’re cooperating as much as you can. They need your support and love to work through this.

Be their rock during these tough times and try to answer whatever questions they throw at you as gently and as patiently as possible. Be honest about who their dad or mom is, what they do, where he/she might be, and why.

At this age, kids follow routines comfortably. Keeping the environment just as it was during the pre-deployment days can pacify the matter.

Let them do what they normally did and try not to change anything too much. It helps them have a healthier mindset and less bitter towards you or their deployed parent.

Final Thoughts
It can be overwhelming for both father/mother and child after he comes home. Your child will want to spend time with him/her constantly. Let’s face it, parents need time to adjust as well.

Children, however, don’t really understand this. It’ll help to make a list of things they’ll want to do with the deployed parent after he/she gets back. They can both go over the list and choose what they’ll do that day. This will help them realize their parent’s effort and love.

The most important thing you need to remember is that communication is key. For this transition to work, it’s essential both parents participate together. Patience and a whole lot of faith go a long, long way.

*This is a guest post sent to Military Shoppers by Shawn R.

Author Bio:

Stepheny is a content writer at FeedFond. Being a military spouse and an aspiring author, her life is like a jagged graph
-full of ups and downs! To read more of her articles, visit Feedfond.com.

What Will Your Forever Home Look Like?

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On her 30th move this military spouse’s forever home was unexpected.

By Marguerite Cleveland

After my 29th move, my husband and I began to seriously discuss where we wanted to live after retirement. This was surprisingly stressful for me because unlike most people I had literally moved every few years and sometimes twice in one year since I had been born. I had lived in so many amazing places the thought of just picking one and not moving again was quite scary to me.

The nice thing about moving so many times is that I had lived in everything from a tiny studio apartment to brand new homes built to our specifications. I lived in barracks rooms and historic mansions. Early on I envisioned my forever home to be one that was modern, upscale and large. Over the years, testing out all these homes and watching countless HGTV shows about renovating my vision changed. I knew I wanted an older home. They are just built better. We are soon to be empty nesters so we also wanted to downsize.

As we began our search we narrowed the location down pretty specifically to a small historic town near the base we currently lived at. Unfortunately we began shopping when it was a seller’s market with limited inventory and massive bidding wars. There were so few homes that we ended up putting in halfhearted offers on a few and were almost relieved when they were rejected. Then one day a home popped up. From the front it was very unassuming and looked like a squat log cabin. We almost didn’t look at it because we didn’t want the maintenance of a log cabin.

We decided to check it out during an open house. When I walked into the house and out onto the expansive deck with an incredible view of the Puget Sound, I knew I was home. I can only equate the feeling to what I felt when I found my wedding dress. I got pretty teary eyed I have to admit and tried to maintain my cool so the listing agent didn’t know how excited we were. The house was tiny but had enough room for our family and a large detached two car garage to hold all our stuff so we could downsize. It was at the top of our budget so we put in a lower than asking price knowing in this market we were unlikely to get the home. Much to our surprise, the counter offer was lower the asking price. We gladly accepted.

We have been in our forever home for three months now and it fits. Our big renovation plans are on hold as we discovered we are comfortable as is and don’t need more space. Downsizing fits us and it’s nice to know we are settled for retirement. Every time I step out on my deck and watch the sun set over the water I feel at home and finally after all those moves at peace.

What do you think your forever home will look like? Do you think your plans will change as the years go by? Whether big or small, you’ll know it’s the one because it will feel just right. Tell us your experience or thoughts in the comments down below.

 

Marguerite Cleveland is a freelance writer who specializes in human interest and travel stories. She is a military brat, a veteran and now a military spouse.  Her military experience is vast as the daughter of a Navy man who served as an enlisted sailor and then Naval Officer. She served as an enlisted soldier in the reserves and on active duty, then as an Army Officer. She currently serves as a military spouse. She lives in the Pacific Northwest with her husband and two sons. Visit her website www.WanderWordsWine.com