Military Life News

Military Life News, Commissary Rewards and Military Discounts

Why a PCS Stinks for Military Kids and Tips to Make It Better

By

While supporting a parent’s military career, military children are asked to leave behind the familiar and embark on the unknown. The school they finally learned their way around, the best friends they’ve made and even the perfect bedroom must be given up when the PCS orders are cut.

Managing that transition as parent can be especially hard when you are worried about household goods and travel plans.

But here is an easy-to-remember acronym to help you mitigate any of the fears and angst your kids might have about PCSing: Frame, Acknowledge, Include, Re-engage and Support.

Why PCSing Stinks for Military Kids and Tips to Make It Better

Try these 5 tips to smooth the PCS transition for your military child.

Frame the PCS in a Positive Light

Kids are so quick to pick up on our moods and fears, so even though you might be freaking out about moving to someplace you’ve never heard of, try to frame the idea of moving in a positive way.

Try to think of moving as your next great family adventure.

Talk about how moving helps your family support their service member parent and why their service is so important. Emphasize the positive possibilities like making new friends, seeing different parts of the country or world, trying new foods, and remind them that you get to do it all as a family.

Acknowledge Your Child’s Feelings

A certain amount of resistance and fear about a move is to be expected and completely natural. Make sure you acknowledge any fears your children might have about moving and discuss ways to overcome those fears.

It’s OK to share that you are a little nervous about the move yourself, but don’t stew in those feelings. Take steps to help keep your frame of mind positive.

Include Your Children in the Planning Process

Try to include your kids in the planning stages, if they are old enough. Things like having them help with your pre-packing garage sale or planning the route you will be taking as you travel between duty stations can help kids feel like they have a role in your move.

If you can, incorporate some leave time during your transition and include some quality family time as part of your relocation process. A weeklong cross-country road trip means you’ll have the opportunity to stop and see things you’ve never seen before and may never see again. Create memories that will give your family something to laugh, cry or smile about. You don’t have to spend a ton of money, there are all kinds of amazing sites across the country (and abroad) that just require your time and appreciation. A little online research can help you find those kind of places.

And while you’re surfing the web, spend some time learning about your new duty station and then daydream together about things you’d like to do or see when you arrive.

Re-Engage in Normal ASAP

This part takes a little bit of planning on your part, but it’s another way to include your kids before the move. If you’ve got a soccer player or dancer or artist-in-the-making, find at least one activity you know they will enjoy and try to get them involved right away. It will give them something to look forward to and create a sense of the familiar in a new place.

Also, when it comes to unpacking, consider setting up your children’s rooms first. The sooner you can get back into your family routines, the better.

Before you leave your old duty station, be sure you get good contact information – cell phone numbers, emails and mailing addresses for friends you are leaving behind. A regular letter or Skype session is a great way to stay connected and it can really help kids who are moving (and those who are left behind) feel a little less isolated.

Support Your Child Through This Transition

No matter how many plans we make, there will always be that bump in the road we can’t possibly prepare for. Make a point to really talk to your kids about their feelings and listen to their concerns during your transition and after you arrive at your duty station (and for months afterward!).

Change is hard. Remind them that their feelings are normal. Then make sure you talk about things you can do as a family to help make the transition a little easier.

Have a conversation with your military child about moving. Ask them: What aspects of the PCS do you think stink? How can I make moving better for you?

KLEENEX Brand and SALUTE Honor a Hero at Charlotte Motor Speedway

By

​The Memorial Day holiday has special meaning to many Kimberly-Clark families, and this past weekend, our KLEENEX Brand – in partnership with Disney-Pixar and JTG Daugherty Racing – honored one of those families on the No. 37 Kleenex-sponsored NASCAR, driven by Chris Buescher, during the 600 Miles of Remembrance race at Charlotte Motor Speedway.

This special car was painted to resemble Lightning McQueen, the main character in the upcoming Cars 3 movie, which was a big win for our KLEENEX Brand’s ongoing partnership with Disney.

Chris Buescher comes in for a pit stop during the 600 Miles of Remembrance race at Charlotte Motor Speedway

However, the team quickly realized that this high-profile opportunity with Disney-Pixar also created the opportunity to prominently pay tribute to a K-C family member who had made the ultimate sacrifice for our country.  They reached out to Kurt Rodine and our SALUTE employee resource group for help to identify a family to honor.

“Requesting this type of info is a bittersweet ordeal,” says Kurt.  “It is great that we get the opportunity to honor a fallen warrior, but the fact that we are honoring them means they have given everything they had to our country.”

The team selected a nomination from Ken Schell, Operations Manager at our New Milford facility, to honor Special Warfare Officer 1st Class (SO1) Jason Lewis. SO1 Lewis was a member of the US Navy SEALs and was killed in combat in 2007 in Bagdad during Operation Iraqi Freedom.  The team worked with Schell and the family to have Lewis’ name printed on the windshield of the car for the duration of the race.

Members of the JTG racing team install a new windshield with Special Warfare Officer 1st Class (SO1) Jason Lewis’ name at the top

Ken shared a statement from Jason’s mom, Jean, and the Lewis family: “Jason was a strong, determined, committed young man who only had the mindset to succeed. He would push through any roadblock to do what was best for his family and country. Jason’s steps throughout his life were determined by God who was always a force in his life. We appreciate racing team for remembering our loved one on this Memorial Day.”

 

Halo Top Ice Cream Comes to Commissaries

By

This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of Halo Top Creamery. All opinions are 100% mine.

The timing could not be better for ice cream.

Halo Top ice cream, a low-calorie, high-protein and low-sugar ice cream, is available at commissaries at military bases throughout the country – perfect for the summer. Halo Top is made using only the best, all-natural ingredients so that it tastes like regular ice cream. Unlike regular ice cream, you can eat an entire pint and not feel guilty.

Hold up…did you say healthy ice cream?

Everything we know about ice cream up until this point tells us that the words “healthy” and “ice cream” don’t go together. But it’s time to change your ice cream assumptions.

Halo Top prides itself on producing a healthy ice cream that tastes creamy and delicious like the real deal without all the sugar, calories and carbs. It’s a healthy ice cream that actually tastes like ice cream.

Sound too good to be true? Don’t take my word for it.

Stop by your commissary to pick up a pint of Halo Top ice cream.* Or two. Or three. With 17 flavors, including Red Velvet, Peanut Butter Cup and Birthday Cake, there’s a favorite flavor for everyone in your family.

Halo Top Ice Cream Golden Seal Sweepstakes

And while you’re sampling all 17 flavors of Halo Top ice cream, you may find yourself leaving your commissary with more than ice cream during the month of June.

To celebrate their 5-year anniversary, 5 lucky pints of Halo Top ice cream were sealed in gold. Not real gold, of course, but the prizes associated with these 5 pints is like finding the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

The Golden Seal, which can be found underneath the pint seal, has a prize list that includes: a 4-day vacation for 2 to Maui, $5,000 gift card for groceries and a Make-A-Wish sponsorship which will allow winners to grant wishes for children in their local communities.

Not a winner? Halo Top reminds ice cream lovers that there’s a silver lining, or in this case, a gold lining, in their Golden Seal Sweepstakes. Anyone with a losing seal can be entered to win a VIP package of all Halo Top pints by simply snapping a selfie with the seal. Don’t forget to use #HaloTopGoldenSeal when sharing your selfie to be entered to win.

Five additional grand prize winners showcasing their selfies could potentially win a year’s supply of Halo Top and a Halo Top branded mini freezer. Yes, a year’s supply of Halo Top ice cream!

Visit your commissary and dig into a pint of Halo Top ice cream today!

*No purchase necessary. Void where prohibited. Visit halotop.com/goldenseal for complete rules.

Shoppers Call New Fort Belvoir Commissary ‘Amazing’

By

I was one of many commissary shoppers excited to be part of the opening day festivities at the new $38 million commissary at Fort Belvoir.

New Fort Belvoir Commissary

The Fort Belvoir commissary certainly has something for everyone.

Located just south of Washington, D.C., Fort Belvoir has one of the busiest commissaries. The former commissary was built in 1981.  It was time for an update and this update was an amazing one.

The new commissary at Fort Belvoir has a sales area of 82,600 square feet. This is a huge increase from the 57,000-square-foot commissary it replaced. I’m sure I was not the only patron to walk through the doors and be awestruck at the sheer size of the complex.

If you have the opportunity to go, the new commissary at Fort Belvoir is worth the drive.

The selection of products is vast, with more than 21,000 items on the shelves. The fresh produce area is extremely spacious and has a huge selection including organic and locally grown items.

New Commissary at Fort Belvoir

Are you a health conscious person? The Living Well Corner is for you.

There is a sushi bar where trained professionals make sushi right there while you watch. You can get sushi custom made. It is located right by the international delicatessen, which has a huge selection of meats and cheeses. Make sure you check out the freshly made meals and side items while you are there. When your spouse is on deployment, picking up some of these delicious items will make dinners quick and easy.

The Fort Belvoir commissary certainly has something for everyone.

Are you a health conscious person? The Living Well Corner is for you. There are over 1,500 organic, gluten-free, natural and non-GMO items. You’ll find them dry, fresh, refrigerated and frozen.

While shopping at the Fort Belvoir commissary, you’ll be sure to notice how wide the aisles are. They were actually designed to be 3 carts wide to enable shoppers to move through the aisles with ease. Have you ever been stuck while someone stood and looked for the item they wanted? That will be a problem of the past here. With more space, customers will be able to navigate easily through the aisles without a problem.

New Fort Belvoir Commissary

The new commissary, with all of its impressive features is sure to draw an even larger crowd now.

When it comes to checkout time, Fort Belvoir makes it is a breeze with 30 checkouts. This includes 8 self-checkouts. You won’t be waiting in line for long here. Even on opening day, with thousands of shoppers, the line moved quickly.

The Fort Belvoir commissary has an impressive bakery that you shouldn’t miss. Pick up some tasty treats to bring home for the family. Stop by the meat department after that for a nice steak. The meat selection is very good and the prices won’t be beat. The seafood department is just as impressive. If you don’t feel like cooking, pick up a rotisserie chicken.

New Fort Belvoir Commissary

You won’t be waiting in line for long at the new commissary at Fort Belvoir.

The Fort Belvoir commissary was already one of DeCA’s busiest commissaries. It is a leader in annual sales, doing about $97 million annually. The new commissary, with all of its impressive features is sure to draw an even larger crowd now. Many military families feel that commissary shopping is one of the most important benefits. You’ll find plenty of reasons to visit this beautiful new commissary at Fort Belvoir, with its vast selection of items at great prices.

The Fort Belvoir commissary cost $38 million. Not only is it much larger than the one it replaced, but it is also more energy efficient and environmentally friendly. The funding for it came from the 5 percent surcharge that is added when customers check out at commissaries. Your patronage at local commissaries helped make this new commissary possible.

Did you know that the 5 percent surcharge on your commissary bill pays for new facilities like this commissary at Fort Belvoir? Learn more about the surcharge by clicking here.

Healthy Meals You Can Make When You’re Living in a Hotel

By

With suitcases and PCS orders in hand, many of us will be spending our summer nights trying to keep ourselves and the kids entertained, be it a movie night or at the hotel pool.

Healthy Meals You Can Make When You're Living in a Hotel

You can keep your family fed and content while living in a hotel. Here are our tips for healthy eating when you are living in a hotel for an extended period of time.

The normally easy chore of figuring out what to eat, however, often becomes a debate over which fast-food joint or sit-down restaurant to dine in. But for those of us watching our budgets and our waistlines, what we wouldn’t give for a wholesome, healthy home-cooked meal.

What if I told you it was possible to save money and still eat healthy, even without the convenience of a full kitchen?

Keep the family fed and content while living in a hotel?

You can do it. Here’s how.

Assemble Your Make-Shift Kitchen

First, a little preparation is necessary. If you know that you’ll be away from home and want to try to avoid eating out every night, consider buying or bringing an electric griddle and crockpot. Between the two of them, you can cook just about anything.

You’ll also need a large tote that you can push under the bed or store in a closet as your make-shift pantry. Stock it with non-perishable must-have items like cereal, a handful of your favorite spices (we like garlic powder, onion powder, cumin, paprika, salt and pepper), a box of your favorite baking mix, a couple cans of cream-of-something soup, canned beans and other vegetables, your favorite sweetener (sugar, stevia or maple syrup) and olive oil.

Toss in a good kitchen knife, a couple of wooden spoons, some resealable kitchen bags and a cutting board, and you’re all set.

Bonus points if you have a small blender or food processor (like a Ninja) and can manage to bring it along. It can make things like homemade salad dressing, salsa, smoothies or even a margarita.

Bonus tip: If you do stop for a quick bite to eat here and there, consider keeping any unused condiment packets. They come in handy and generally don’t require refrigeration.

Plan Your Meals

This is kind of an eat-at-home staple chore, but if you’ve decided to choose homemade while traveling, it’s even more important. The key is planning meals that won’t require a lot of refrigerated ingredients. Even still, be prepared to shop every few days, if not daily.

Not sure what to plan? Here are some easy, no-cook recipes to inspire you.

Breakfast Options

If you have access to a refrigerator, a half-gallon of milk and a wholesome, vitamin-packed cereal can make breakfast a snap. Pair it with a banana and half of an English muffin with a bit of peanut butter and you’ve got the kind of balanced breakfast all the cereal commercials boast about.

No refrigerator? Consider buying the small, vacuum-sealed boxes of milk or powdered milk from the baking aisle. The small quantity of each box makes it easy to only use what you need.

Not a cereal person? Go continental. A couple of fresh-baked bagels or croissants, a little hard cheese and fruit makes for the perfect morning meal.

Wants something a little more special? Try some overnight oats. Just mix equal parts of oats and milk or yogurt. Then add fruit, spice and sweetener: add pumpkin puree, a drizzle of maple syrup and a teaspoon of pumpkin pie spice (like this recipe) or try slicing in bananas and a couple of tablespoons of hazelnut spread. Mix the ingredients in a cup or bowl and leave in the refrigerator overnight (6 to 8 hours) and presto-chango, you’ve got a hearty, healthy and delicious breakfast with absolutely zero cooking!

Simple Entrees That You Can Prepare in Your Hotel Room

If you’re anything like me, warmer temperatures bring the desire to eat light. Thankfully, lighter fare lends itself to easy preparation.

If you have your electric griddle, try cooking up a couple of chicken breasts (or purchase a rotisserie chicken), dice it up and toss it in a bowl with a chopped head of broccoli, some sunflower seeds and a handful of sliced grapes. Add a little bit of sour cream, yogurt or mayo and you’ve got a delicious chicken salad that goes great on a sandwich or is perfect for topping your favorite crackers.

Are you a seafood lover? Fresh seafood is what summer is all about at my house. Fresh fish or shrimp is quick to cook or you can even drop it in a resealable bag with some citrus juice and spices. Cooking is not required. Check out this recipe for no-cook shrimp, Mediterranean style.

Easier still, skip the meat and look to beans for your protein like in this delicious Southwest Salad. Just chop, toss and dig in.

Do you have any amazing meals that you’ve prepared in a hotel room? Submit your recipes to MilitaryShoppers’ monthly recipe contest today.

Military Discounts for Your Military Wedding

By

It was the perfect date followed by the perfect proposal. Or maybe it was a casual conversation that revealed you both couldn’t imagine a life without the other.

Whatever the circumstances, congratulations on your engagement! Now all that’s left to be done is pick a date, plan the wedding, go on your honeymoon and live happily ever after.

Did you know the average wedding in the United States costs about $30,000?

I don’t know about you, but I don’t have that kind of cash just sitting around waiting to be spent. What I do have, however, is a list of great military discounts for your wedding that can help you drop the cost while still having an amazing day.

Military Discounts for Your Military Wedding

Save money on your military wedding with these military discounts on everything from your engagement ring to your ceremony venue.

Military Discounts for Your Wedding

The Ring

Diamonds or gems, simple or ornate, an engagement ring and wedding bands can take a healthy chunk of your budget. Stretch your dollars while still finding the perfect ring by checking out these fine retailers:

The Dress

Wedding dresses don’t come cheap, but these retailers offer discounts to military brides.

In addition to military discounts, many national and local retailers regularly offer free or deeply discounted dresses to military brides.

Do a Google search for “free military bride wedding dress” and visit any interesting links. If you’re planning on a long engagement, set up a Google alert for the search so any new opportunities land right in your inbox. (Thanks to NextGen MilSpouse for this great tip!)

The Tux

The bride isn’t the only one who gets to dress to the nines at their wedding. Check out these discounts on both purchase and rentals of tuxedos for the big day.

The Venue

Many national hotel chains offer military discounts, so don’t be afraid to ask if they will extend that discount to their ballrooms and entertainment areas.

Destination wedding venues often offer military discounts. Check out this great list of wedding venues complied by MOAA. Each one offers a great military discount on wedding packages.

 The Honeymoon

  • Consider a cruise for your honeymoon and check out this list of cruise lines that offer military discounts
  • Sandals Resorts offer a 10% military discount
  • Environmentally conscious? Travel to Sri Lanka and take a private conservation tour, take a private cruise on a chartered yacht or learn to cook in Italy. Check out this great list of once-in-a-lifetime travel adventures perfect for a honeymoon — and all complete with military discount.

Other Ways to Save on Your Military Wedding

No matter the expense, it never hurts to ask for a military discount. Even 5% or 10% can really add up when your florist, cake baker, make-up artist, hairstylist, and photographer all offer you a special rate on your special day.

Search for Veteran or Military Spouse Vendors

Be it caterers, photographers, DJs or officiants, one great way to land a fabulous price is to look for service providers who are military spouses or veterans. Find veteran- and military spouse-owned business in your area by searching the Veteran Owned Business Directory. Many offer military discounts.

Get Married on Post

If you live close enough to an installation with a chapel big enough for your event, consider getting married on post. Typically, use of the on-post chapel is free and chaplains marry couples as part of their military duties. Some installations also have community centers or consolidated clubs capable of hosting wedding receptions.

Never miss a military discount. Sign up for the MilitaryShoppers’ newsletter today.

How to Avoid Military Spouse Drama

By

“And then she said, ‘Your husband’s not a real Marine!'”

Military spouses can avoid drama with these 4 simple steps.

If military spouses had a nickel for every minute of spouse-on-spouse drama, we would all be very, very wealthy. And while some spouses seem to thrive on gossip and one-upping each other, there are many who would like to totally avoid this scene.

If you want to avoid military spouse drama, there are a few easy ways to do so.

1. Be Upfront

The second that someone around you starts getting into the drama, cut it off.

“I’m sorry, but I really don’t like to talk about those things. “

Then pick a new topic. Maybe get into your latest favorite book or movie, ask about the new store at the mall or gush over the yummy dessert you’re eating.

This sets the tone of the conversation and steers it away from gossip. The more often you refuse to engage in the drama, the less likely people will be to even bring it up around you. You’ll be establishing a reputation as a person who avoids drama.

And that’s a very good thing!

2. Walk Away

If you’ve made it clear that you don’t want to deal with the drama, and your friend keeps going, just walk away.

In a party, casually find a “friend” across the room that you just have to speak to right this second. Repeat this tactic every time gossip or drama seems to be approaching. You won’t have to deal with most of the negativity and you’ll get to circulate really well.

When you’re in a smaller setting, with just a few people, make it clear in advance that you really don’t want to talk about others or start the complaints train rolling. If it does start to veer in that direction, find a reason to leave early. You could be super sneaky and set a phone alert for your “appointment” to go off in a few minutes. Or “get a text” from your spouse that requires you to leave ASAP. You could also be honest:

“I’m going to need to leave now. I really can’t handle the drama or complaining. Please let me know another time to get together so we can talk about positive things!”

Then drop some cash for your food and dash.

3. Rethink Facebook Groups

One of the biggest sources of drama right now is online. There are Facebook groups for every facet of military spouse life. From neighborhood pages to military mom groups to unit support, it’s all there. And it seems like everyone is bringing their best complaining game to the interwebs.

If you find yourself in a drama-centric Facebook group, you have two choices: stay and mute the alerts or leave.

The online groups can be great. Members offer advice, support and the dirt on the best mani-pedis in town. By staying in the group, you can still access all of that, just on your own terms.

To keep the group from cluttering your newsfeed, reset the notifications setting. Go to the group page, click on notifications and select the option that you prefer: all, highlights, friends or none.

When a group becomes too toxic, it’s time to leave completely. All you have to do is click “leave group.” Just like that, you’ll have one less source of drama in your life.

4. Choose Friends Wisely

We all have THAT friend. The one who creates drama everywhere. What if you didn’t have THAT friend anymore? If you find you’re in a situation with one or two people who are just full of drama or gossip, it could be time to pull back from these friendships.

It’s OK to slowly, gently move from friends to acquaintances. Maybe meet for coffee, but don’t do full girl’s day out or spend a day on the golf course. You could go from spending weekends together to casually bumping into him at social events.

If your friend asks about the changes, you could blame it on your schedule.

“We’re just really busy right now. We’ve had to rethink how much time we are spending doing (activities).”

Or you could be completely honest.

“It was hard to listen to you complain all the time. I needed to pull back a little bit for my own mental health. I would love to still hang out if we could talk more about positive things in our lives.”

The same thing goes for online friends. You could unfollow people that you still care about and don’t want to unfriend online. It will cut down how often you see their posts, while still allowing you to occasionally check out their pictures. If you really want to send a message, completely unfriending is the way to go. Your personal Negative Nancy (or Nick) will be gone from your friends list and your newsfeed.

May your military spouse journey be drama-free!

How do you avoid military spouse drama? Tell us in the comments!

6 Tips for Talking to Your Kids About Rehoming Your Pet

By

Even with the best of intentions and a lot of effort, it can happen. Sometimes you really do need to rehome your beloved pets.

6 Tips for Talking to Your Kids About Rehoming Your Pet

There are so many life changes and situations that we cannot anticipate. Sometimes, despite our best efforts, it is better for everyone to find a different home for Fido or Fluffy.

After you have made this tough decision, it’s time to explain it all to your children. This can be even harder, especially since they adore your pet even more than you do.

Use these 6 tips for talking to your kids about rehoming your pet.

1. Be Honest

Be upfront about why you need to rehome your dog, cat or other creature. Children can tell when you are hiding something or not telling the truth. It’s better to be honest now, and answer all of their questions, rather than play catch-up later to cover your tracks.

So tell them:

  • if a family member has or has developed an allergy
  • if the cost of pet care was just too much
  • if the cost of moving with the pet is too high
  • if your housing situation doesn’t allow a pet
  • if your house isn’t the best place for your pet (no yard or too small)
  • if life changes (like a new baby, illness or injury) have changed the pet situation
  • if you just don’t have time to devote to your pet
  • if the pet is aggressive with the kids or baby
  • if the pet is too old or ill to move with your family
  • if you are moving overseas and your pet can’t make the trip for any reason

There are so many life changes and situations that we cannot anticipate. Sometimes, despite our best efforts, it is better for everyone to find a different home for Fido or Fluffy.

2. Don’t Blame Your Kids

Kids are kids. They are still learning how to care for themselves. It’s frankly a miracle if they remember to both flush the toilet and wash their hands. Kids, no matter what age, should not be held responsible for all of the pet care.

When you tell them that your pup or kitty is going to a new home, don’t blame the kids.

Instead, explain that as a family, things have changed or happened. As a family, you are no longer able to care for the pet the way it deserves.

3. Do Your Research

Before you even tell the kids, you need to do some research. Yes, there are animal shelters in every community in the United States and abroad. However, many of these shelters are considered “high kill.” In other words, animals surrendered to these places have a ticking clock: either be adopted by a certain date or be euthanized.

If possible, try to find another option like a compassionate animal shelter or another family to adopt your pet. There are many groups online that can help direct you toward loving foster homes, pet adoption agencies or rehoming services.

4. Keep the Kids Involved

If you opt to find another family yourself, keep the kids involved in the search process. Remember, this is a beloved member of your family. You don’t want to give your dog or cat to just anyone!

Let them help make the ads or posters to show off your beautiful pet. Have your kids help you to weed through the people who want your pet. If it’s safe, bring them with you for meet-ups with the potential new owners.

Ask your pet’s new family if they might keep you updated with pictures and stories. Your child will want to know that their pet is still loved!

5. Don’t Make Any Promises

It is so tempting to make promises when you are talking to your kids about rehoming your pet. This is especially true if your current military life circumstances are forcing your hand.

You might be tempted to say:

  • “We’ll get a new pet at our next duty station.”
  • “When the baby is bigger, we can get another pet.”
  • “When we get a house with a yard, we can get a new dog.”
  • “If we get a bigger house, we can get another pet.”
  • “Let’s get a cat/reptile/fish tank instead.”

Before you even sit down with your kids, be really honest with yourself. Why do you need to rehome your pet right now? Really consider these reasons and then don’t promise anything.

6. Let Them Be Sad

Remember, this isn’t just any pet. This is THEIR pet, their best friend and snuggle buddy. He or she will be leaving the family forever and it is sad.

Your kids might have ideas about how to keep your pet. Listen to them. They might have a creative solution that you didn’t consider.

Take time to grieve together as a family. Do some things together to help remember your beloved pet. Take pictures together, go for favorite walks or give special treats.

Talk about your pet after it is in the new home. If the new owners have agreed, let your kids write cards or letters to your pet or the adoptive family.

What tips would you offer to military families who need to rehome their pets? Tell us in the comments.

 

5 Tips for Getting Your Security Deposit Back

By

It’s PCS season and that means it’s time to move out of your rental. How did your family treat the home you rented? Do you deserve to get part or all of your security deposit back?

No doubt you’re going to be putting down a security deposit on your next home so it would be nice to get this one back. Here are 5 tips to getting your security deposit back.

5 Tips for Getting Your Security Deposit Back for Your Rental Home

What tips do you have for getting your security deposit back?

Document the Condition of the Rental the Day You Move In

Getting a full refund of your security deposit starts on the first day of renting. It is important to document the condition of the home you are renting at the beginning of that rental period.

When you first moved in, you should have gotten a checklist from the rental company. This list is where you document any damage that the home currently has.

Some rental companies and owners are very lenient, while others are very strict. They may also be very nice at the beginning of your rental period and make you think you don’t need to document every detail. Don’t fall for that. Write down everything. You don’t want them to come back at the end of your rental time and say you caused any damage to the home that you did not cause, no matter how big or small.

Take time to thoroughly inspect each room and the outside of the home. Write down any holes in the walls or floors and any marks, scratches or dents on surfaces.

If there are screens on the windows or doors, note any damage to them.

Look at the garage door. Are there any dents?

Check the rugs for spots. Make sure they were cleaned before you moved in.

Take photos of any damage. Make a copy of those pictures and submit them with the checklist. Have the rental company manager co-sign this list and keep a copy in your records.

Read Your Lease Carefully and Note What You Are Responsible For

Your lease should state whether the tenant or owner is responsible for certain situations. Sometimes random things are thrown in there, such as calking. In some homes the owner is responsible for a burst pipe, while tenants are responsible in others. You should know this before disaster strikes. Pest control can also vary between those responsible.

If you want to get back your entire security deposit, make sure you know what you are required to do.

You also need to know the rules and if you don’t agree with something, talk to the property manager or owner before you sign the lease. Does the lease say no walking or riding bikes on the grass? If you aren’t likely to follow that, find out if you can have it removed from the contract. Many companies use a standard lease. You can likely get an amendment added to the lease.

Fix Damages Before Your Move Out Inspection

Once you know what you are responsible for, make sure you fix anything you need to. Did your child write on the walls? Don’t lose your security deposit over that. Clean the walls. Did your teenager hang up every poster they own? If you have an abundant amount of holes in the walls, fill them in.

Did your pet damage anything? You likely had to make a pet deposit before you moved in. That doesn’t necessarily cover the damages they caused. Check windowsills and stairs for chew marks. Try to buff out any scratches a pet made in the floors.

If you broke a screen, a towel rack or doorknob, make sure to replace them. It will likely be cheaper than the rental company paying someone to fix it and will keep you from getting a full refund on your security deposit.

Clean the Home Before the Move Out Inspection

Look at your lease to see if you need to hire a professional to clean or if you can do it yourself. Some rental companies require a receipt from a cleaning company or at least a carpet cleaning company. Follow the cleaning rules to make sure you get your security deposit back.

Know what needs to be cleaned as well. Do you need to clean the oven? Read your lease to find out how you need to leave the yard if you have one. Do you need to pick up pet litter or mow the grass? Ensure everything is clean before your move out walk through if you want your security deposit back.

Do a Final Walk Through with the Rental Company and Follow Up to Make Sure You Get Your Security Deposit Back

To get your security deposit back, make sure you do a final walk through with the rental company. Have the checklist you did when you moved in so that you can refer to it if they say you caused damage to something you know was already damaged.

Likewise, make a checklist of items you did damage, but did not repair. Have the rental company sign off on the list to agree what is damaged so that they do not spring anything on you later.

Finally, follow up with the company to ensure you get your security deposit back quickly. Each state has a set time frame that security deposits must be returned by.

What are your tips for getting your security deposit back when moving out of your rental home? Share them in the comments section.

Should Military Spouses Have a Spending Allowance?

By

Not long ago, women were expected to marry, have children, and live a life dedicated to home and husband.

It was what society told women they could and should do. Money, like education, was deemed too complicated for women, despite the fact that managing a home required the ability to budget and plan.

In fact, it wasn’t until the beginning of the 20th century that women were legally seen as independent financial beings, capable of holding property and wealth separate from her father or her husband. It took another 70 years before women could open a credit card account without a husband co-signer.

But for all of this progress and financial independence, some modern-day women find themselves at the whim of their husbands, financially speaking.

When first presented with the idea that some stay-at-home military wives are granted an “allowance” for taking care of the household necessities, I was more than a little dumbfounded.

Should Military Spouses Have an Spending Allowance?

After nearly 20 years of marriage, I will admit that money issues are at the top of the list of things we argue about.

Is this practice a way for controlling husbands to keep their wives on a short spending leash?

Does it imply that these military spouses are incapable of handling money? Or that they are untrustworthy?

Can a healthy military marriage survive this kind of arrangement?

Is a Spending Allowance a Trust Issue?

In Kristine Schellhaas’s book, “15 Years of War,” she recounts her life as a Marine Corps spouse, including her time spent as the leader of the unit spouse organization. During that time, she often counseled young Marines headed out on deployment to ensure their spouses had access to their bank accounts.

Turns out, many of these same Marines said “I do” in a hurry because of the deployment and the idea of giving financial access to someone they hardly knew (wife or not) was a bit daunting.

I certainly can’t begrudge them for their concerns, but like Schellhaas pointed out to these Marines, a great many more problems could arise should a spouse be left without access.

A set allowance hardly provides wiggle room for emergencies or unexpected expenses and in times when a service member isn’t available on a routine basis, it’s not hard to imagine the difficulties a military spouse might face.

But these newly married military spouses aren’t the only ones earning an “allowance.”

The Monetary Worth of a Stay-At-Home Spouse

While a get-hitched-get-deployed kind of marriage might suffer from a few trust issues, it’s hardly the kind of thing one would expect from a couple who married under less time-constrained circumstances. However, a quick search of military spouse forums reveals that many military families operate in this fashion.

Since a stay-at-home spouse doesn’t have an employer, the monetary value of the work they do is often hard to estimate. According to Salary.com if stay-at-home mothers were paid for their work at a similar rate as someone employed full-time, they would earn well into 6 figures.

But it seems in some cases, stay-at-home spouses feel guilty asking for money as they don’t directly contribute financially to a family’s income. They are left feeling less valuable than their paycheck-earning spouse and an allowance, while possibly intended as a way of providing some financial freedom, often ends up feeling like payment for services rendered.

Hardly a healthy outlook for a marriage between 2 competent and loving adults.

A Rose by Any Other Name

Discussion of this issue often calls out the controversy that stems from the use of the word “allowance?” It tends to imply one spouse wielding financial power over another.

But, if it were termed “monthly budget” would so many cringe at the thought? If both spouses were limited to an “allowance” would we find less to critique?

After nearly 20 years of marriage, I will admit that money issues are at the top of the list of things we argue about. I have and often still suffer from feelings of guilt in knowing I am capable of earning as much as my spouse, but my income, due to choices we have made as a family, is dwarfed by my active-duty spouse. And there have been plenty of times when we have limited ourselves to an allowance to ensure we stayed on budget.

What I can’t condone, however are those instances where an allowance is used as a power grab. For me, a healthy marriage means both spouses are equally responsible for the well-being of their family, be it earning a paycheck or managing a household. And as long as couples openly discuss spending expectations, whether you call it an allowance or not is really of little consequence. Communicating openly and honestly about your money to each other benefits your marriage.

Now it’s your turn. What do you think of allowances for military spouses?