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How Is My Husband Always Gone For Mother’s Day And Home For Father’s Day?

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Ahhhhh, Mother’s Day. That glorious Sunday in May when mothers everywhere lounge luxuriously in bed.

We’re all peacefully waiting for our badly buttered toast to arrive, paired with an alcohol heavy mimosa. And then the whole family skips to brunch with happy, shiny faces.

Everything is right on Mother’s Day, as we celebrate the years of excruciating physical labor it takes to raise up a child. Many moms mark this occasion with flowers, wine, candy, cards and a trip to the spa.

Except for me.

And I’m guessing a bunch of other military spouses too.

Instead of my sweet baby angels bringing me cold cereal, I was awakened at zero dark thirty by my child screaming. I rolled over to nudge my husband, reminding him that it’s my day to sleep in, except, oh wait, I’m riding solo today.

Just like many Mother’s Days past, and certainly in the future as well, the military has thoughtfully scheduled field exercises today.

How Is My Husband Always Gone For Mother's Day And Home For Father's Day?

This year I’m observing delayed Mother’s Day on June 17, which just happens to be Father’s Day.

Guess who won’t have any work obligations on June 17 though? My husband.

Instead, he’ll probably be at the golf course celebrating Father’s Day. All alone. While I handle the kids by myself. Again.

Why is my husband always gone for Mother’s Day, but home for Father’s Day?

It seems like a cruel joke the military likes to play on me every year.

“Hahahaha, let’s leave all the non-active duty moms at home without their spouse today. Oh, but make sure the men are all home for Father’s Day. Can’t miss playing a few holes, am I right?”

Well, this year the joke’s on you, Dad! Because I’m observing delayed Mother’s Day due to scheduling conflicts. My personal Mother’s Day just happens to be on Father’s Day. Weird, right?

It seems like you might have had an OK time at your “exercise” in Seoul. I heard the all-you-can-eat Korean barbecue was delicious. The K-Pop karaoke looked fun too. I’m sure having a hotel room all to yourself with no one needing you to wipe their nose was pure torture.

Bonus: you got paid to be there!

Since you got your special day early, I’m going to go ahead and take mine right now.

When Dad’s Gone in May, Mom Plays in June

You’ll get to celebrate the joys of fatherhood the same way I basked in the glow of motherhood while you were gone. In short: alone.

That’s right, the kids are all yours today. Because you should spend Father’s Day celebrating with the precious little tykes who call you Dad.

Let’s start the day early. I’ll head out for a long sunrise run so that you can be the first face the kids see in the morning. Such a wonderful gift!

Next, you can enjoy a chilled coffee over soggy cereal. The handwritten cards will tug at your heartstrings.

Then, head out to the beach, pool or playground. Really, go wherever your heart desires. If you can get them to handle sitting in the cart, take them to the golf course. If not, mini golf is basically the same thing.

I won’t even be mad when you bring them back loaded up with sugar and sticky with melted ice cream. They have summer camp tomorrow!

While you’re out celebrating, I’ll make sure to prep the grill and food for you to cook when you return. I want you to have the honor of getting those steaks just right.

As for the middle part of the day, I was planning on having a working me-day. I’ll field some emails, check Facebook and then head off to be tortured at the spa. I’m talking brunch, massage, pedicure and facial. All while sipping champagne. It’s going to be terrible.

You can swing by to get me on your way back from mini golf.

How does your family handle missed holidays or special days? Share your tips in the comments!

Become a Trooper

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Are you a motivated military spouse looking for a stable job with a competitive salary? Are you a hard-working veteran who is planning to separate from military service this year and would like to live in Florida? Are you retiring from the military soon and searching for your second career?

Become a Florida Highway Patrol Trooper

The Florida Highway Patrol (FHP) is currently hiring for state troopers and dispatchers. Since it is a para-military agency the FHP gives hiring preference to military veterans and their spouses. This state agency said it has an established career progression program. “We recognize and reward educational achievements and career advancements,” the agency said.

The annual starting salary for state troopers is $38,034.24.

The Florida Highway Patrol troopers actively enforce the state’s criminal, traffic, motor vehicle and driver’s license laws. The men and women serve the millions of residents and visitors of Florida using state-of-the-art training, equipment, technology and resources. The ideal job applicants are motivated individuals, hard-working employees and team players looking for a positive work environment.

Troopers with 2 years of experience (note that your active-duty military service is considered experience to be a state trooper) are eligible for specialty positions such as:

  • contraband interdiction officer
  • criminal investigations
  • dignitary protection
  • DUI patrol
  • motorcycle patrol
  • occupant protection specialist
  • recruitment officer
  • pilot
  • public affairs officer
  • special response team
  • K-9 handler

Troopers with 5 years of experience are eligible to promote to supervisory positions. The agency said that “these promotional opportunities give troopers a chance to transfer to a different location in the state if they choose to and the agency will pay for the move.”

FHP troopers receive paid vacations, holidays, sick leave, military leave, extensive health and life insurance options, deferred compensation plan and a non-contributory retirement plan. Once hired, the agency will also pay up to 6 semester hours a year for a master’s degree.

What are the requirements to be a state trooper?

You must be a U.S. citizen who is 19 years or older. Applicants must possess a valid driver’s license and have a high school diploma or general equivalency diploma. Like the military, there are physical requirements for the job. An applicant’s weight must be in proportion to his or her height.

Do I need to live in Florida to become a state trooper?

No. You are not required to live in Florida when applying for a position with the Florida Highway Patrol. You are also not required to be a Florida resident. But applicants must be willing to serve anywhere in the state of Florida.

I’m planning to get out of the military, but I don’t have my DD214 yet? Do I need to wait for my DD214 before applying for a job with the FHP?

You can still apply for a position with the Florida Highway Patrol. If you are planning to separate from military service, but haven’t received your DD214 yet, ask your Company Commander to write a letter on official letterhead detailing your separation date, type of discharge expected and your character of service.

 

What are the requirements to be a dispatcher?

A Florida Highway Patrol dispatcher needs to have the ability to

  • read maps
  • speak clearly with good verbal communication skills
  • multi-task
  • work well in stressful situations
  • maintain the confidentiality of information
  • record relevant information correctly and completely

Applicants are given on the job training. This position is rotating days off and has permanent shifts. Applicants should be available to work on holidays and weekends.

The benefits are state health and life insurance, paid vacation time, free tuition to state universities and colleges and career advancement opportunities.

Are you interested in learning more about employment opportunities at the Florida Highway Patrol? Visit Be a Trooper for more information.

I Crossed the Unwritten Officer and Enlisted Friendship Line

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I joined the military spouse ranks at the end of an era. Which specific era, you might wonder? Well, the end of the blatant separation of spouses into “officer” and “enlisted.”

When my husband was wrapping up his stint at initial training, all of us wives (and it was only wives) were herded into an auditorium and given the rundown on life as a USMC spouse. We learned the ropes from a seasoned spouse and were handed a copy of Parade Rest.

We were lectured about protocol and decorum. I, the dependent spouse, was a direct reflection on my husband and his career. My behavior needed to be impeccable at all times. The correct place settings and seating arrangements for every possible formal and informal dinner party was reviewed in my new book.

Oh, and the rules against officer and enlisted fraternization were reviewed. But I didn’t really pay close attention to that part of the seminar. I guess it covered spouses, too. I mean, it must have, based on how other newly minted military spouses were acting.

I crossed the unwritten officer and enlisted friendship line.

And I don’t care. Because that line isn’t a real thing. It’s something that someone way back in the “good old days” created.

Some of the friends that I do life best with happen to be on the “other side” of that line.

The whole rank thing came up once at the beginning of each friendship. And then it was done.

No one blinked.

No one flinched.

Our spouses’ ranks aren’t even discussed, except for a hearty congratulations when someone gets promoted.

I Crossed the Unwritten Officer and Enlisted Friendship Line

We’re all just spouses. By “just” I really mean without the officer or enlisted caveat attached.

I have just a few criteria for my friends. First, be kind to my kids, but don’t be afraid to make them toe the line.

Also, it would be nice to enjoy a few similar hobbies. I’m into true crime, running, reading, writing and being salty about military life.

Finally, I like to have adventures and try new things.

Can you hang with that? Great! You’re in.

This attitude is becoming more and more the norm of military life and friendship among spouses.

The atmosphere has changed slowly over the last decade or so. I’m so glad that it has too. It makes everything much nicer and friendlier. Having an “all-hands” spouses club unites all of us for the good and, honestly, the food.

It wasn’t always like this, even in the very recent past.

I remember overhearing troubling conversations as a young(er) spouse. Harsh, untrue stereotypes were repeated. Some folks thought they could “just tell” what rank someone’s spouse wore based on their accent, clothing, number of children or perceived education level.

When I volunteered in the family readiness group at our first duty station, a few spouses liked to throw down rank very obviously. As if it made a difference to who got the last word.

Related: 10 Situations that Hurt a MilSpouse Friendship

One of my friends from that experience happened to be married to an enlisted Marine. After all the nonsense at my military spouse indoctrination, I was nervous about venturing into this friendship. I didn’t want to create a situation. I hesitated to connect on Facebook. I paused before socializing outside of unit events.

Then my husband set me straight.

We’re all just spouses.

By “just” I really mean without the officer or enlisted caveat attached. At the end of the day, we married the person our hearts connected to the most.

It wasn’t because of what was on their collars, but because of who they are as a human.

Although, if we’re being honest, how they look in dress uniform might have played a role in the process.

Breaking through that invisible O/E friendship barrier was the best thing I’ve done as a spouse. When I decided to stop listening to the stereotypes and the unwritten rules, I gained a whole lot of love, light and laughter.

I’ve got a whole army of amazing friends that I know I can call on, day or night, for anything. Whatever our spouses do, we’ve got each other. And to be honest, none of us are really 100% sure what our active duty other half does some days.

We’re all in this together, all of us military spouses. We are all just trying to get through this wild ride, with our sanity mostly intact. So cross that “line” if you spot a kindred spirit. It will be so worth it.

We want to hear from you! Tell us what “rules” you’ve proudly broken as a military spouse!

Navy Extends Deadline for Female Sailors to Join the Submarine Service

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The Department of the Navy announced eight years ago that women would be allowed to serve on Navy submarines. This was a historic moment for female sailors.

Navy Extends Deadline for Female Sailors to Join the Submarine Service

If you are a female sailor interested in transitioning into the Silent Service, submarine life, talk to your detailer today.

There are now almost 80 female officers and 50 enlisted women assigned to the submarine service. Military personnel anticipate the number of female sailors on subs to reach into the hundreds in the next few years and they are actively searching for candidates to fill these positions.

In doing so, the Navy has extended the deadline for enlisted female sailors to apply to the submarine force. The previous deadline was April 2018. Female sailors in the ranks E-1 through E-8 now have until June 1, 2018, to submit their application.

Female Sailors Get an Additional Two Months to Apply for the Submarine Service

The USS Michigan was the first Navy submarine to have enlisted female sailors added to its roster. The USS Florida followed it with 30 female sailors in its ranks. By 2020, the Navy expects to add 550 female sailors to seven Ohio-class subs. That would make up about 20% of the crews.

To accommodate female sailors on these two subs, simple modifications were made to berthing and bathrooms.

Now new submarines are designed specifically with female sailors in mind. It isn’t just adding separate living and bathing areas either.

The USS New Jersey will be the first submarine built with features tailored to female sailors. This includes making valves easier to turn as well as lowering them to accommodate the height of female sailors.

Steps will also be built in front of triple high bunk beds and washing machines will be stacked. Emergency air masks will also be placed on the side instead of the ceiling to make them easier to reach.

The USS New Jersey, the first Columbia-class ballistic-missile sub with these modifications, is expected to be delivered in 2021.

In an effort to fill the positions upon these subs, the Navy is actively recruiting females from outside the Navy as well. The overall manpower of the military is on the decline. There was recently a hearing in the House Armed Services military personnel subcommittee where the personnel chiefs were challenged to recruit more service members. The focus on primarily recruiting males has shifted to searching for female candidates.

As of February of this year, about 16% of the 1.3 million service members that make up the total military force are female.

People do not feel compelled to join the military like they once did. It is estimated that only 29% of males and females between the ages of 18 and 23 would meet the qualifications to join the military.

Recruitment is tough with many young men and women choosing to go to college, trade school or straight into the workforce after high school. There just aren’t many people that want to join the military these days.

Aggressive recruitment strategies are now in place to fight for recruits.

Recruiters are now being sent to talk to female athletic teams.

Previously, recruiters would mostly just go to male athletic departments. The military believes that individuals that are a part of athletic programs are more likely to want to join the military and be qualified to do so.

With more ratings, such as submarine service, now opened to females, military personnel feel strongly that they will be better able to attract these younger individuals. Only time will tell if this new marketing approach works.

If you are interested in joining the military talk to your local military recruiter.

If you are a female sailor interested in transitioning into the Silent Service, submarine life, talk to your detailer or find out more information here.

Are you a female sailor? Tell us your story by submitting a guest post today.

Serving in the Army Is My Family’s Calling

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by Eric Gardner, Guest Contributor

The term family business has a menagerie of feelings and definitions depending upon who you ask. I prefer the term “calling” instead of “business,” since it casts a truer light upon my unique family past.

In the broad categories which define roles associated in our military culture I’ve held many of them.

Service member.

Military spouse.

Army brat.

I’ve worn these roles with pride. With more than 40 years of life vested in this unique and sometimes challenging community, I can say unequivocally I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.

Service is a very dear ideal in my family. While I can trace my roots back to the American Revolution, I have had a constant family member in active service through WWI, WWII, Japan’s Occupation, the Cold War, and the Global War on Terror. My wife is also a third generation military member.

This family calling has given us a shared outlook and understanding on what is truly important in life.

Serving in the Army Is My Family's Calling

Did you follow your father and join the Army?

Even with such a rich family history of military service my parents never forced a career in the Army upon me. Growing up in the ’80s I was a huge fan of the “G.I. Joe” cartoon and shows like “The A-Team” and “MacGyver.” While other children my age saw these larger than life personas as too fantastic to be true, I knew the exact opposite.

As a child I could say that I’d met the proverbial steely eyes, barrel chested freedom fighter on several occasions. In “G.I. Joe,” Duke, Lady Jay and Roadblock would display the moral courage to take a stand against something they felt was wrong. I could see the same exhibition of character by walking into my father’s office on any given day and witness the towering soldiers doing the exact same thing.

This introduction into my family calling was accented more when units would hold their organizational days. These family-oriented events always showcased the tools of the trade to loved ones so they could get a better understanding of what their service member did.

Imagine seeing every Hollywood prop in real life and understanding that the soldier standing in front of you was just as awesome as any character that was on the big screen; it clearly made a lasting impression.

Before my elementary school years were over I understood how camouflage worked, possessed a loose understanding of how many different weapon systems our service men and women were tasked to employ and a firm respect for the work that each of them did.

Serving in the Army Is My Family's Calling

I never viewed my unique exposure to the Army as manipulation to join its ranks. Instead this insider information allowed me to make the best decision I could about my future.

I have wonderful memories of wearing face paint, dressed in my pint-sized fatigues and patrolling our military quarters with my sister in tow on a mission to find a lost G.I. Joe somewhere in the hedge. A smile always comes to mind when I think back to having my father introduce me to the challenges of obstacle courses and learned how stations like the gut buster and the weaver vexed the men and women under his command. Whether it was climbing on Humvees and tanks or checking out the static displays of the utility and attack helicopters, I saw the world of the military as a constant adventure.

On the flip side there were times when the military lifestyle was negative. The moves, training and deployments, and constantly reinventing yourself are challenges we can all relate to. However, with each of these, one thing made it all possible; family. My mother and father always put us first — within reason of course.

Even in the tough times we understood that friends and homes may change but our family would always be there.

When I went off to college my future world was a blank canvas to explore. Even with an endless array of life options, the most fulfilling was in my R.O.T.C. program which lead to my commissioning in the Army as an infantry officer. The same branch my great grandfather was in during WWI and my father was during his 30-year career. I never viewed the unique exposure to the Army as some sort of manipulation to join. Instead it allowed me to make the best decision I could about my future.

Serving in the Army Is My Family's Calling

My parents never forced a career in the Army upon me.

My tour of duty as a service member with the Army lasted eight and a half years. As I transitioned to the role of spouse my love for the military way of life didn’t change. With my own children now seeing the nonstop adventure this lifestyle holds they can make their own decisions when they enter the workforce to see if the military is right for them.

Regardless of their choice they will know that within their family were men and women who were willing to risk everything to ensure they would be afforded the same chance at a wonderful future they had been given.

Serving in the Army Is My Family's Calling

I can trace my roots back to the American Revolution, I have had a constant family member in active service through WWI, WWII, Japan’s Occupation, the Cold War, and the Global War on Terror. My wife is also a third generation military member.

Did you follow your parent and join the Army or other branch of service? Tell us your family of military service story in the comments section.

Eric Gardner was raised in a military family and lived around the world. Following in his father's footsteps, he joined the U.S. Army as an Infantry Officer. Eric Gardner was raised in a military family and lived around the world. Following in his father’s footsteps, he joined the U.S. Army as an Infantry Officer. Since the end of his wartime service he has shifted gears and is now a stay-at-home father. In his role as an active duty Army spouse, he has become an author. As the creator of the XIII Legion Series he has enjoyed great success, and enjoys meeting other entrepreneurial spouses as well as fellow authors. You can see more from Eric Gardner at his Facebook page: www.facebook.com/thirteenthlegion.series, and http://www.facebook.com/XIIILGN or follow him via Twitter @13thLegion.

Invest in Your Career with an Affordable Master’s Degree

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This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of the California University of Pennsylvania. All opinions are 100% mine.

Do you want a degree with a 98% job placement rate?

Did you know that a master’s degree in exercise science and health promotion from the California University of Pennsylvania has a 98% placement rate?

Veterans and military spouses can invest in their careers with an affordable online Master of Science in exercise science and health promotion from the California University of Pennsylvania. Cal U’s 100% online program provides a flexible higher ed option for those who think they don’t have the time or the money to earn an advanced degree.

Through this online master’s program, you can be enrolled as a graduate student while working full time.

You don’t have to choose between attending college classes and earning a paycheck.

You can study at a historic state university from the comforts of your home with your high-speed internet connection.

Cal U students are enrolled in online courses from all 50 states and from more than 20 countries, and university officials point out that many students enroll while on active duty with the military.

Did you know that Cal U was the first college to launch a 100% online master’s degree program in exercise science?

Through their interactive approach to online curriculum, Cal U students can engage fully with their professors and classmates. You won’t feel like you’re missing out because you’re logging into class from a laptop instead of sitting in a lecture hall.

Invest for Less Time, Less Money

Veterans and military spouses can earn an online master’s degree in less than 2 years and without staggering student debt.

Cal U’s master’s degree program, which includes professional certification recognized by the National Academy of Sports Medicine, can be completed in 12 to 18 months. With this streamlined approach to grad school, you can earn your master’s degree before you move to your new duty station.

The California University of Pennsylvania Office of Military and Veterans Affairs offers comprehensive support for veterans, eligible dependents, service members of the National Guard and Reserve, and active duty service members. They help veterans maximize their GI Bill benefits.

Cal U also offers discounted tuition costs for active duty members and veterans of all military branches, as well as their spouses and eligible dependents. You can find out more information about this program at its Cal U Global Online website.

Invest in a Career That Leads to Employment Opportunities

A master’s degree in exercise science and health promotion offers veterans and military spouses an investment in employment opportunities. Cal U graduates are leaders in fitness, athletics, health and wellness at companies throughout the country.

I’m amazed by the variety of jobs that you can do with a master’s degree in exercise science and health promotions.

You can work at a hospital, at a fitness company, at a health care company or with a professional sports team.

You can teach at a community college or for an online certification program.

You can work for the Department of Defense or you can be an entrepreneur.

Earning a master’s degree in exercise science and health promotions is the first step to a dynamic career.

In today’s economy, everyone is searching for an in-demand job that will give them the flexibility to work in any location around the country. Everyone hopes for a job with a competitive salary. Everyone wants to feel satisfaction at their job. Everyone wants to feel like they are contributing to their community and helping those in their community.

At least that’s what I want for my career. I also want to be in a career field with 98% placement.

Do you?

Invest in your career today by earning a Master of Science’s degree with Cal U. Click here to learn more about the California University of Pennsylvania.

DeCA Vows to Fix the Produce Prices at Pacific Commissaries

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by Amanda Marksmeier, Guest Contributor

Many military families stationed in the Pacific are being asked to sacrifice a healthy diet because of limited access to high-quality reasonably priced produce.

One reason for the lack of fresh fruits and vegetables is the changes made in how produce is acquired by overseas commissaries. In response to mounting pressure to reduce the budget, the Defense Commissary Agency (DeCA) decided to discontinue U.S. shipments of fresh produce to Pacific commissaries.

DeCA was able to slash the budget by $48 million, but these savings are coming at the expense of our military and their families stationed in the Pacific. To provide produce at a reduced cost to the government, shipping costs were rolled into the prices and passed along to Pacific commissary customers.

A year after the contract changes were implemented complaints began to pour in regarding pricing and quality of produce. The DoD Inspector General investigated these claims. The IG discovered the new system was saving the government $38 million while costing military families in Japan and South Korea 21% to 32% more than the prior system. To make matters worse, the higher priced produce is lower in quality than the produce that is available in the local markets.

DeCA Vows to Fix the Produce Prices at Pacific Commissaries

Military families living overseas sacrifice time with their extended family and friends as well as the comforts of America. They shouldn’t have to sacrifice access to fresh quality produce too.

To address these issues DeCA Director Robert Bianchi designated a few target areas to make improvements. Some of the solutions include sending in produce specialists to work with local vendors to reduce costs and streamline inspections. Other ideas being considered are seeking more produce options including lesser quality and lower priced items and educating customers on commissary pricing.

These ideas are a good start, but more can be done to ensure our military families have access to quality reasonably priced produce.

Access to local vendors is a wonderful asset and should help alleviate some transportation costs, however, the idea of lower quality produce seems a bit absurd. Quality is a current complaint of consumers so how would a lower quality product improve the situation? Instead of “educating” consumers on commissary pricing versus local market pricing why not work with local farmers and vendors?

There is a huge movement in the United States to buy local, not only does this support the local economy but it’s environmentally friendly. The fewer miles our food travels will result in lower fuel costs, a reduction in air pollution and greenhouse gas emissions. Sourcing locally grown produce could help with quality as well as lower shipping and transportation costs.

One concern that stems from purchasing produce from local growers is quality control and “safety concerns.” As the DeCA Director stated there is

“no earthly idea how that thing was produced.”

Foreign countries do not have the same federal regulations and health safety guidelines as the U.S., so this is a valid concern. But here is some food for thought:

Many military families living overseas purchase produce in the local markets because of lower prices regardless of lack of regulations so they are already being exposed to “unsafe” produce.

The life expectancy of people living in Pacific countries is higher than that of Americans.

There is significant evidence to suggest that the foods people eat are related to the longevity of their lives. While safety and quality control are a concern, DeCA should do the due diligence and at least consider the possibility of buying produce from local growers.

Produce issues in the Pacific commissaries have been identified and efforts are being made to fix the problems but more can be done to ensure quality at a reasonable cost. Military families living overseas sacrifice time with their extended family and friends as well as the comforts of America – they shouldn’t have to sacrifice access to fresh quality produce too.

 Have you experienced the high price of produce at commissaries in the Pacific?

Amanda Marksmeier is an Army wife and mother of four.Amanda Marksmeier is an Army wife and mother of four. She works as an employment specialist assisting the military community in achieving their career goals. Amanda is also a contributing writer for a quarterly employment journal and has written for several military affiliated blogs.

30 Military-Friendly Wineries and Breweries You’ll Want to Sample

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May is National Wine Month. What better way to celebrate National Wine Month than with a tasting at a military-friendly winery?

There are more than 8,700 wineries in the United States. Many wineries offer military discounts on tastings or free tastings to veterans and military spouses. Here is a list of military-friendly wineries in Napa and Sonoma.

15 Napa Wineries that Offer a Military Discount

Start your wine tour at the oldest winery in Napa Valley, Charles Krug. It also happens to be the first tasting room in California. At Charles Krug you can enjoy a five glass wine tasting. It’s usually $20, but the fee is waived for active duty service members.

Robert Mondavi has made Napa Valley what it is today. Enjoy a military discount and great wines at Robert Mondavi.

Hall Winery generally has a $40 tasting fee, but it is free for service members. Service members can enjoy a free glass of wine as well.

Domaine Carneros has a military discount on tastings as well as 10% off merchandise.

V. Sattui Winery has delicious wines as well as a military discount.

Grgich Hills Estate offers free wine tastings to service members.

Domaine Chandon has a 20% military discount.

Mumm Napa not only offers service members a free tour and wine tasting, but they also have a military discount of 30% off purchases.

Rombauer Vineyards offers free wine tastings to service members.

Raymond Vineyards offers a 10% military discount.

Peju offers free wine tastings for service members.

Beaulieu Vineyard provides free wine tastings to military service members.

Beringer Vineyards has a program where service members can enjoy a free glass of wine.

Cakebread offers free wine tastings to service members.

Monticello Vineyards may be a small family-owned and -operated winery, but they really know what they are doing. Enjoy a free wine tasting with their friendly staff.

7 Sonoma County Wineries That Have a Military Discount

There are more than 425 wineries in Sonoma. Here are seven military-friendly ones not to be missed.

Murphey Goode offers free wine tastings to veterans. I love that they support Operation Homefront, which is a nonprofit charity that gives assistance to service members. Murphey Goode donates 50 cents from each bottle of their Homefront Red Blend to the organization. While that doesn’t sound like a lot per bottle, it has generated over $300,000 a year.

At Francis Ford Coppola Winery you’ll enjoy a free wine tasting as well as a 10% military discount.

Adastra offers free wine tasting to military couples.

Alexander Valley Vineyards provides a free reserve tasting for service members.

Highway 12 Vineyards and Winery provides free wine tastings.

One last winery to mention in California is Tackitt Family Vineyards in Paso Robles. It is dear to my heart. They produce a collection of wines labeled EOD Cellars. The owner is a Navy Explosive Ordnance Disposal (EOD) veteran. My husband is an EOD Tech. A portion of the profits from these wines goes to the EOD Warrior Foundation, which supports wounded EOD techs.

8 Military-Friendly Breweries Owned by Veterans

There are also veteran-owned breweries. The eight below are ones not to be missed if you are in their area.

Honor Brewing Company is operated by an Army veteran, a Gold Star son and one other partner. Their tasting room opens this year.

Heritage Brewing Company has its own nonprofit that supports veterans. A portion of their proceeds go toward it.

Full Tilt Brewing in Baltimore, Md., is run by a veteran and a former DoD worker.

Young Veterans Brewing Company, owned by two Army veterans, is in Virginia Beach. You can visit their taproom and take a tour there.

Veterans United Craft Brewery in Jacksonville, Fl., is owned by a former Naval flight officer.

Railhouse Brewery is owned by Army, Navy and Air Force veterans. You can visit their taproom in North Carolina.

Red Leg Brewing Company in Colorado Springs has a wonderful taproom.

Fair Winds Brewing Company is one of the top 50 fastest growing breweries in America. You can visit their taproom in Fairfax, Va.

With all of these military-friendly wineries and breweries, you’re sure to have a good time supporting veterans and businesses that support our military community.

Are you looking for a military discount? Sign up for MilitaryShoppers’ newsletter and you’ll have savings delivered directly to your inbox.

5 Tips for Throwing a ‘We’re Moving Overseas’ Party

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Fair winds and following seas. May the road rise to meet you. Sayonara. Adios.

You’re moving overseas and you are probably in full-on packing and panic mode right now. Before you go, take some time to bid adieu to your friends and family stateside.

 5 Tips for Throwing a “We’re Moving Overseas” Party

The last thing you need in the middle of your current crazy is a lot of work. Instead, follow these 5 simple tips for a great farewell bash that might just make your move slightly easier! Plus, you’ll enjoy a memorable night with your friends and moments you’ll remember for a lifetime.

 5 Tips for Throwing a "We're Moving Overseas" Party

It makes sense to combine your PCS-specific tasks into a celebration with friends! The giving away of things during a PCS is a time-honored military family tradition.

Pick a Theme

Keep your party’s theme super simple: here or there.

For “here” parties, stick to things that are classically American or that you can’t get at your next duty station. Ask friends to bring classic side dishes and grill out. Decorate with an Americana theme in red, white and blue. Or pay homage to the things you’ll miss the most, like Target or Dunkin’ Donuts. You know, the essentials of life.

If you’re going with a “there” theme, make everything about your next duty station. Going to Germany? Pick an Oktoberfest theme with beer and brats, even if it’s June. Headed to Japan or Korea? Decorate with pink cherry blossoms and serve lots of noodles and green tea.

Either way, don’t buy a ton of decorations. You’re packing up your whole house, remember? If you don’t have anything that fits a “theme,” put up your holiday lights around the yard, patio, balcony or inside your house.

Set Your Menu

Use this farewell party as an opportunity to clean out your pantry. Put your non-perishable food on the counter. Try to match recipes with what you already have on hand. The goal is to buy as little additional food as possible while using up a good portion of the things in your pantry.

If you think that this might make for some interesting cuisine, you’re right! A 2012 PCS party did, in fact, lead to the creation of cranberry-creamed corn-stuffing balls with a light honey dijon mustard dipping sauce. They were shockingly delicious.

Once you’ve decided on what you’re making, invite your guests to contribute dishes as well. Chances are they’ll bring less inventive food.

Open Bar & BYOB

You can’t take open bottles of booze with you. It seems to be frowned upon. Something about leaking and damage.

Since you can’t take your liquor with you to your next military installation, mix cocktails using whatever you’ve got on hand at your “We’re Moving Overseas” party. Add a blender and frozen fruit for experimental margaritas and daiquiris. Again, the goal is to whittle your stash down to almost nothing.

If your guests want to contribute to the communal beverages or keep something more mainstream for themselves, encourage BYOB.

For the kids, mix up lemonade or serve juice boxes. If you have a lot of fresh or frozen fruit, DIY smoothies are always fun! Just make sure you clearly label the adult beverages.

Activities & Games

Use this party as an opportunity to clear out your closets!

For the kids, pull out every already opened arts and crafts kit you have on hand. Set out coloring books, crayons, markers, stickers and drawing paper at one station. Make a sidewalk chalk station or a painting station, too. Encourage your younger guests to use up everything.

You could also set out water guns, kiddie pools or water games you have on hand.

While the adults might be content to kick back with food and drink, you could also set out lawn games or card games.

Every Party Needs Favors

The giving away of things during a PCS is a time-honored military family tradition. Let your guests know to come with a few sturdy boxes.

Go through the house before the party and collect everything that the movers won’t or can’t pack. This is usually opened non-perishable foods, cleaning supplies, and other liquids. To that, add any clothes, furniture, toys or decor items that you don’t want to store or bring with you.

Sort everything by type and keep your “favors” in one area of the party space. Let your friends know that they should feel free to grab anything that strikes their fancy.

Anything left after the party can be trashed (if in poor/opened condition), donated (good/unopened) or gifted to friends in the last hours of your move. Just be sure to keep something for that final cleanup before housing inspection!

Celebrate Your Overseas Move with Fun and Humor

Yes, some of these tips might be a little tongue in cheek. However, using up pantry items, finishing off opened art or cleaning supplies and giving things away is the reality for PCSing military families.

It makes good sense to combine all these PCS-specific tasks into a big celebration with friends! Also, I’m betting that more than a few military friends have already attended or hosted a similar party before.

At the end of the day, your “we’re moving overseas” party will be remembered for good times spent with friends. Whether you serve a stuffing ball creation is totally your call.

How do you say goodbye to your friends before an overseas move? Tell us in the comments section.

How to Prevent Conflict When Your In-Laws Visit You

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Many military couples host their in-laws, friends and extended family members during the summer months. Afterall, what’s the point of being stationed in Hawaii, if your house doesn’t become a revolving door for cousins who want to spend time with you, but also enjoy having you as their tour guide and your house as a free hotel room. You are happy to host them as your guests until you realize you are spending way more money on groceries when they are staying with you.

How to Prevent Conflict When Your In-Laws Visit You

Are hosting guests a financial strain on your budget? Can you ask your parents to buy the groceries when they are staying with you? Will your father-in-law watch your kids for date night?

What happens where you as the host feel like you can’t afford (or don’t want) to pay the costs associated with guests. This conflict over who pays seems like a source of unspoken frustration among military spouses.

A military spouse posted this question in a Facebook group:

When your relatives come to visit you, who pays for stuff? You or them? Can you ask them to help out around the house when they are staying with you?

Some military spouses responded saying they believe that guests shouldn’t pay or chip in with housework, ever. Your guests are on vacation and might have dropped serious cash to get there. The hosts should pick up the tab along with the extra work.

Others were firmly on the opposite end of the spectrum. Visitors are getting free lodging so assisting with cooking, cleaning, child care or groceries is a fair trade.

Most military spouses agreed that every situation is unique. Cost of travel and budget were factors that everyone considered. Others talked about the frequency of visits and reciprocity of the expectations when the host/guest roles are reversed.

Where is the disconnect?

Almost everyone agreed that family visits can be a huge source of conflict, especially when the in-laws are involved.

The heart of these might be a lack of shared cultural, familial history. It could be that your mother-in-law comes from a family where hosts have historically paid for everything. Maybe this is how it worked with her own mother-in-law!

When the visit or your guest’s expectations don’t go as you thought, it can cause frustration. Over time, with visit after visit, the frustration turns to anger which turns to resentment.

How can you prevent family vacation conflicts?

It all comes down to communication! If things are going well, you’re probably on the same wavelength. When you’re feeling frustrated during a family visit, it’s time to have a friendly sit-down.

First, decide what you are comfortable doing as a host. What makes you frustrated or upset? Is it having to do all the cooking, cleaning, shopping and paying? Are you comfortable with splitting things in different ways? What do you want your guests to help, or not help, with?

Be very clear with yourself and your spouse. Knowing where you are willing to compromise is just as important as your hard limits.

Solve family visit conflicts

Start neutrally:

“What do you want to do tomorrow?”

Share a few different activities that everyone can enjoy and bring out brochures. Talk about price and ask if this activity is in their budget. You could do this with any part of your trip from tourist attractions to meal planning to paying for gas.

Sit down with your visitors to plot out the events and meals that will happen during the vacation. Ask about which activities fit their budget. Share unique eating experiences in your area at a variety of price points and ask which ones they think will best suit them. Invite them to go grocery shopping with you.

For slightly more complicated situations, you might need to be more to the point. Request politely and kindly that your guest helps you.

You could try:

  • While I cook the main course, could you prep the salad?
  • Please feel free to bring your favorite drinks with you, as we mostly drink water.
  • Would you be able to step in with the kids while I (go for a run, head to the store, do this chore)?

Another route is giving praise for desired actions:

  • Thanks so much for putting on the coffee! I so appreciate having hot coffee when I woke up today!
  • The kids love spending time with you, especially since we live so far apart. I know they’re over the moon to just be with you!
  • You make such good (food item)! We’d love to share this special meal with you! Could we make it together?
  • It’s so nice to have your help (sorting the laundry, emptying the dishwasher, walking the dog)! Thanks!

Often it could just take a nudge or gentle push to move your guests to help you, if that’s what you want.

What happens in a stand-off?

You might find yourself between a rock and a hard place. You’re super uncomfortable in your own home and stretched beyond your limits.

The first conversation should be with your spouse. Decompress and share your frustrations with him or her. Explain what would make this visit better or at least slightly easier. Then create a plan of action to find a solution. You and your spouse should take this on as a team.

If your conflict is with a member of your own family, you should handle it. For in-law issues, your spouse should take the lead. Yes, these conversations will be awkward and uncomfortable, but they need to happen. Not talking about it is a recipe for more anger and resentment in the future.

Start small and use lots of “I feel” statements.

“I feel very tired after working all day and taking care of the kids. It’s overwhelming for me to cook dinner by myself for everyone every night.”

Talk about the good points of the visit, too. Share fun experiences that you’ve done together or how much their visit means to your kids. Then make your big ask. What is it that would make the visit more enjoyable for you as the host?

“I love spending time with you, but doing all the cooking and then all the cleaning makes it hard to do that. Would you be willing to dry if I wash?”

If your concern is financial, be upfront about that, too.

“We love going to all these great places, but we are really watching our bottom line right now. We cannot afford to pay for everyone in our group to go. Can we find another solution?”

Your guests might be genuinely surprised to hear your frustrations!

While it might be really uncomfortable, you could find solutions that work for everyone. Even if things aren’t 100% better, at the very least, you’ve shared your feelings.

If things remain at a stand-off, consider ways to meet on neutral territory. You could pick a location in the middle where you can both stay in hotels or shorten their visits, if possible.

How do you have handled host/guest conflicts? Share your best tips in the comments!