By Marguerite Cleveland

With the November, 2018 Election coming up it is nonstop coverage on local, national news and social media. Typically turnout for midterm elections is less than in a Presidential election year but 2018 could see record voting. There seems to be a lot more energy about voting this year. If you procrastinated, can you still vote absentee in the mid-term elections? The answer is maybe and is state specific. Here are a few tips and things you need to know to navigate the process.

• Call or go into the Voting Assistance Office at the installation you are stationed at. They are very helpful and provide the following services: information on voter registration and the absentee ballot procedures, material on the voting process, how to request an absentee ballot and mailing the completed forms. Assistance is available to all uniformed service members and their eligible family members and some eligible civilians.
• Visit the Federal Voting Assistance Program at www.FVAP.gov. Click on the tab for military voters. Then click on Voter Registration and Ballots. This will give you a map of the United States. Click on your state to find out the dates to request and mail in a ballot.
• Will my absentee ballot be counted? According to www.Vote.org, “Yes, all votes are counted, whether they’re cast in-person or by absentee ballot.  It is a common misconception that absentee ballots are only counted during very tight races.  This misconception stems from two things: one, absentee ballots are often counted for days after the election since many are coming from abroad; two, absentee ballots are often a small percentage of all voted ballots.  Many elections have a clear winner, so the absentee ballots that are still being counted after election night don’t affect the results as predicted right after the polls close.  As absentee voting becomes more popular, however, an increasing number of elections are decided by absentee ballots.
• Your home of record is where you came into the service. Your voting residence is the state on your LES for tax purposes. These may or may not be the same. When registering to vote; register for the state on your LES. Do not register to vote in the state you are stationed at! Registering to vote is one step to making that state your residence and if you are in a state that has state income tax it could have a big financial impact. Also be aware that your spouse does not automatically share the same voting residence. Refer to your Voting Assistance Office for help if you aren’t sure.

In the future, plan ahead so that you can vote in your state’s elections. When you PCS, make sure you update your address with your state. If you need to register to vote make sure you do so by the beginning of October which is the cutoff for some states. Your vote does count so make sure your voice is heard no matter where you currently live.

Marguerite Cleveland is a freelance writer who specializes in human interest and travel stories. She is a military brat, a veteran and now a military spouse.  Her military experience is vast as the daughter of a Navy man who served as an enlisted sailor and then Naval Officer. She served as an enlisted soldier in the reserves and on active duty, then as an Army Officer. She currently serves as a military spouse. She lives in the Pacific Northwest with her husband and two sons. Visit her website www.WanderWordsWine.com

Being a military child can be very challenging. The deployment stage can be a difficult transition for them, which sometimes, may last a lifetime. But, through this unfortunate period, it’s not impossible for a child to be okay.

You might be wondering:

What are the ways I could prepare my child when the time comes?

Will they get used to it? Ever?

What will happen when my partner comes back?

It’s very important to remember that both children and parents need to work on this transition together. In this article, we’re breaking down the deployment transition at different ages.

Babies and Toddlers
Babies and Toddlers are quite young to comprehend this transition. Yet, they do feel things. So, here are some important points to bear in mind.
Babies
Dealing with babies can be a bit tough. If the deployment happens during their infancy, then there’ll be concerns about how the baby will adjust to the parent when they come back home.

Fear not, here are a couple of things you can do to prepare them while your partner is deployed:

● Photographs:
Show your baby photos of the absent parent. You can hang them around the baby’s room.
● Audio Clips:
Play recorded audio clips of their dad. They’ll be acquainted with his voice.
● Video Calls:
Use the internet! Skype! Seeing and hearing their dad/mom’s face and voice may affect the baby far more than you think.
● Scent:
Wrap your baby around with their absent parent’s clothes. Let your baby get used to the scent.

Even though babies are too young to process deployment, however, they’ll still notice the absence of one of their parents. Babies can feel their parent’s stress and anxiety.

They become ten times crankier when they sense it. So, it’s supremely important you stay calm and take good care of yourself first.

Toddlers
Toddlers can be a handful even if there is no deployed parent in the picture. It shouldn’t be too hard to imagine how they will behave when the parent IS deployed.

Unlike babies, toddlers can understand and remember things. They might not understand exactly what deployment is, but they’ll realize the absence of one of their parents. It’s a difficult conversation to have with a toddler.

It’s essential to sit with them before the deployment. Being in touch with them is also very important.

They need to be reassured that their deployed parent loves them immensely and will come back soon. Video calls, photographs, and messages go a long way for toddlers as well.

Kindergarten
A kindergarten going military kid can be a different type of challenge to handle altogether. At this age, kids usually already have formed an attachment with their deployed parent.

It can be stressful for the parent staying behind. Having to play the role of an absent father/mother is no mean feat.

All the special games they might have played together, all the secrets shared, and the behavioral patterns they have associated with the absent parent can be a lot to take in.

Thus, have a one-on-one with your child. Explain to them as clearly as possible that this is a temporary phase and that their deployed parent will be back. Encourage them to stay connected.

Here are a few ways that can be done:

● Letters or Emails – Encourage them to write a letter to their dad/mom. Help them type up an email if they can process it.

● Performance charts – Make a chart listing all their achievements. It can be a little achievement like playing a new game, learning to swim, etc.

It’s a knotty situation to be in. Disciplining them can be complicated, especially when they’re testing your patience. They’ll often be unruly and rebellious at this age.

Kids act out when they are unable to express themselves properly. Having your partner be active throughout the deployment stage can help your kids be more compliant.

Plan with your partner to send occasional gifts to keep the kids in line. It’ll be an incentive for them to be in their best behavior.

School Going Kids
School going kids know what deployment is. It’s likely they’ll friends whose parents are also being deployed. So they’ll have a mutual understanding of the situation.

For your kids to understand what deployment is wins you half the battle. The best thing you both can do is be open to your children. It’s vital you and your partner do this before and also during the stages of deployment.

The goal here is to make your children understand that you’re cooperating as much as you can. They need your support and love to work through this.

Be their rock during these tough times and try to answer whatever questions they throw at you as gently and as patiently as possible. Be honest about who their dad or mom is, what they do, where he/she might be, and why.

At this age, kids follow routines comfortably. Keeping the environment just as it was during the pre-deployment days can pacify the matter.

Let them do what they normally did and try not to change anything too much. It helps them have a healthier mindset and less bitter towards you or their deployed parent.

Final Thoughts
It can be overwhelming for both father/mother and child after he comes home. Your child will want to spend time with him/her constantly. Let’s face it, parents need time to adjust as well.

Children, however, don’t really understand this. It’ll help to make a list of things they’ll want to do with the deployed parent after he/she gets back. They can both go over the list and choose what they’ll do that day. This will help them realize their parent’s effort and love.

The most important thing you need to remember is that communication is key. For this transition to work, it’s essential both parents participate together. Patience and a whole lot of faith go a long, long way.

*This is a guest post sent to Military Shoppers by Shawn R.

Author Bio:

Stepheny is a content writer at FeedFond. Being a military spouse and an aspiring author, her life is like a jagged graph
-full of ups and downs! To read more of her articles, visit Feedfond.com.